THE FEDERALIST - "We Americans are the peculiar, chosen people -- the Israel of our time; we bear the ark of the liberties of the world." --HermanMelville
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THE FEDERALIST(r) CHRONICLE
The Conservative e-Journal of Record
* Veritas Vos Liberabit *
03 April 2002
Federalist No. 02-14
Wednesday Chronicle
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CONTENTS:
The Foundation
Insight
Upright
Editorial Exegesis
Dezinformatsia
Sociocrats
Village Idiots
Short Cuts
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THE FOUNDATION
"I cannot conceive a rank more honorable, than that which flows from
the uncorrupted choice of a brave and free people, the purest source
and original fountain of all power." --George Washington
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INSIGHT
"We Americans are the peculiar, chosen people -- the Israel of our
time; we bear the ark of the liberties of the world." --Herman
Melville ++ "The free man cannot be long an ignorant man." --William
McKinley ++ "Peace is not the absence of war, but a virtue based on
strength of character." --Spinoza {} "It's not victory if it doesn't
end the war." --Michel de Montaigne ++ "Among other evils which being
unarmed brings you, it causes you to be despised." --Niccolo
Machiavelli {} "It is impossible to attain proper physical condition
without being sound both mentally and morally." --John Wooden ++ "It
was not for societies or states, that Christ died, but for men."
--C.S. Lewis ++ "It is only when men begin to worship that they begin
to grow." --Calvin Coolidge {} "The Constitution is not neutral. It
was designed to take the government off the backs of people."
--William O. Douglas ++ "The peculiar circumstances of the moment may
render a measure more or less wise, but cannot render it more or less
constitutional." --John Marshall {} "Government is a trust, and the
officers of the government are trustees; and both the trust and the
trustees are created for the benefit of the people." --Henry Clay ++
"Where the people possess no authority, their rights obtain no
respect." --George Bancroft ++ "The worst thing in this world, next to
anarchy, is government." --Henry Ward Beecher ++ "People only leave
(Washington) by way of the box -- ballot or coffin." --Claiborne Pell
{} "What the country needs is dirtier fingernails and cleaner minds."
--Will Rogers
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UPRIGHT
"Euphemism is the first refuge of the diplomat." --Paul Greenberg ++
"The Palestinian strategy will continue to work until the Western
governments, and this means mostly the United States, back away and
allow Israel to teach the terrorists, and those who harbor terrorists,
that acts have consequences, and mortal acts have mortal
consequences." --Wesley Pruden ++ "We are witnessing the end of what
has been known for centuries as the Holy Land." --Armstrong Williams
++ "Terror exists everywhere in the world, but this [the Middle East]
is the only place where it has its own authority. The terror
infrastructure must be destroyed sooner or later, and we cannot avoid
the problem much longer." --Natan Sharansky {} "The purpose of U.S.
foreign policy is protecting the security of Americans, not crusading
for goodness abroad." --Don Feder ++ "The war on terrorism is proving
by the day, it seems, a larger and larger test of American resolve."
--Terry Eastland ++ "Israel's war against terrorism, both morally and
strategically, is no different than ours." --Rush Limbaugh ++ "The
fight against evil is not a sprint or even a middle-distance event. It
is truly a marathon. If we wish to be marathoners, we will need all
the courage, endurance and stamina we can muster." --David C.
Stolinsky {} "Which part of no doesn't Congress understand? The First
Amendment says: 'Congress shall make no law ... abridging the freedom
of speech ... or the right of the people to peaceably assemble.' I
don't see any exceptions there, do you?" --Mark Tapscott ++
"Everyone's right to freedom of conscience is not self-executing. We
have to be careful to give everyone a hearing." --Nat Hentoff ++ "An
age of individualism is perpetually tempted to arrogance -- to
rejection of Old Dead Guys, like the framers of the Constitution or
the compilers of the Torah, who might way back then have had some
understanding, and maybe more than that, of the Truth." --Bill
Murchison {} "Even American actors should take responsibility for
their high profile to the extent that others are likely to think they
represent us all. If they insist on giving aid and comfort to
America's enemies they must be prepared to take the consequences."
--Paul M. Rodriguez ++ "Once upon a time, Hollywood put stock in
another commodity -- taste." --Brent Bozell
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EDITORIAL EXEGESIS
"Yasser Arafat's escalating terrorist campaign against cafes,
discotheques, Passover seders and pizzerias, and the tough Israeli
military response it has provoked, has left President Bush with a
critical choice. He can either get off the fence and stand
unmistakably with Israel, or he can continue trying to distance the
United States from Israel's struggle with terror in the hope that
Saudi Arabia and other U.S. 'friends' in the Arab world will refrain
from sabotaging a military operation against Iraq. Clearly, the policy
pursued by the administration until now has been a failure. Vice
President Dick Cheney and U.S. special negotiator Anthony Zinni were
unable to persuade Mr. Arafat to agree to a cease-fire, which would
have required him to call off the suicide bombers. ...For his part,
Mr. Arafat hasn't gotten the message. Instead of condemning suicide
attacks, the Palestinian boss has said that he would rather become a
'martyr' than surrender fugitive terrorist suspects hiding in his
Ramallah headquarters to the Israeli army. ...Now is not the time to
reward Mr. Arafat for supporting terrorism. Now is the time to stand
with a fellow democracy, Israel, as it confronts its local bin Laden."
--Washington Times
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DEZINFORMATSIA
This week's "Moral Innumeracy" Awards (A Trifecta): "Arafat,
accustomed to close brushes with death during his long career as a
guerrilla leader and statesman, remained defiant and in high
spirits."--Reuters report following last week's dual suicide bombings.
**"Guerrilla leader and statesman"? Huh? ++ "It's really quite unusual
to speak to our next guest. His organization, Hamas, takes credit for
the killing in Netanya. He told CNN shortly after the attack just
that, and even defended it promising more to come. He's the
spokesperson for an organization seen by most as a terrorist group,
even though he would probably prefer the term freedom fighter. We're
joined by Hamas spokesman Usama Hamdan. Thank you so much for being
with us, sir." --Connie Chung with a Hamas "freedom fighter" ++ "These
suicide bombers are attracted to crowds." --Fox News reporter Todd
Connor ++This week's "Hyper-Hypocrisy" Award: "On average, only 24
percent of Muslims polled in each of the countries had a favorable
opinion of the U.S. More disturbing, only an average of 23 percent in
six of the countries believe news reports that Arabs carried out the
September 11th attacks. As for the U.S. response to September 11th, 76
percent of those polled [by Gallup], on average, say the American
mission in Afghanistan is not morally justified. President Bush
acknowledged today that the U.S. faces a major long-term problem....
But many Arab-Americans say it's not just perceptions at issue but
U.S. policies, especially in the Middle East.... Other analysts say
Mr. Bush's bellicose language may be exacerbating the problem."
--ABC's Terry Moran, who further failed to cite any analysts who
disagreed with the premise that U.S. policies are at fault and that we
brought the 9-11 attacks on ourselves. {} From the "Race Card Poker"
Files: "Many of those already questioned say it was terrifying that
they were, in their words, 'victims of ethnic profiling'." --Peter
Jennings on suspected Jihadi terrorists or their suspected supporters.
{} From the "Garbage In -- Garbage Out" Department: "Tom, not long
ago, we were practically declaring victory. How did we suddenly end up
with troops on the ground, and are we stuck there? Is this, dare I
mention, Vietnam?" --New York Times reporter Rick Berke's question to
NPR's Tom Gjelton on PBS's Washington Week. {} This week's
"Geraldo-Springer Journalism" Award: "She went off the air looking
great. She came on the air looking like a 25-year-old cheerleader."
--CNN's Aaron Brown on his former colleague, now with Fox News, Greta
Van Susteren
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SOCIOCRATS
From the Clinton "Cunning Linguistics" Files: "It [the last-minute
presidential pardon of Marc Rich] was terrible politics. It wasn't
worth the damage to my reputation. But that doesn't mean the attacks
were true." --Former President Bill Clinton, now venturing the radical
assertions that he had a reputation capable of being damaged, and that
the words "is" and "true" might have stable meanings. ++ More from the
"Clinton Presidue" Files: "...[I was] just angry that after I worked
so hard, and after all that money had been spent proving that I never
did anything wrong for money that I'd get mugged one more time on the
way out the door. ...I was tickled that [Troopergate reporter David]
Brock said that they always knew there was nothing to the Paula Jones
case and I won that. ...The judge ruled in my favor." --Our former
national embarrassment again, in taped but unprinted comments to
Newsweek's Jonathan Alter **Funny, but we thought being impeached
regarding the case, then settling the Paula Jones matter for $850,000
meant there was "something" to it! ++ And a Democrisy coda: "It ends
as it began: with no evidence of any wrongdoing." --David Kendall,
Clinton Whitewater attorney {} From the "Hispandering" Files:
"Republicans are desperately -- but unsuccessfully -- seeking Hispanic
support. The president's trip...to Latin America is part of an
orchestrated strategy to curry favor with Latino voters in the United
States." --Former California Assembly Speaker Antonio Villaraigosa,
who also criticized Mr. Bush for his "vague assurances on the issue of
immigration" and for not signing on with the Democrites' upped ante to
"allow hardworking, tax-paying, law-abiding immigrants to emerge from
society's shadows and enter the American mainstream." **How can
illegal immigrants also be "law-abiding immigrants"?
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VILLAGE IDIOTS
From the "Keen Sense of the Obvious" Department: "All it [a negotiated
cease-fire] does is stop the violence. It doesn't do anything about
our interest in addressing the root cause." --Unnamed senior
Palestinian "negotiator" perhaps unintentionally giving the
Palestinian terrorists' game away. ++ This week's "Periplaneta
Americana" Award: "Whenever someone asks me if it's safe over there
for tourists, I always say yes. I would think twice about going on a
trip to Miami or New York, where you can't walk the streets. Give me
the Middle East any day." --James Zogby, president of the Arab
American Institute {} From the Files of the Morally Challenged: "Sex
is a wonderful, crucial part of growing up, and children and teens can
enjoy the pleasures of the body and be safe, too." --University of
Minnesota Press promotional statement for Judith Levine's new book,
"Harmful to Minors: The Perils of Protecting Children from Sex," which
Levine says is dedicated to debunking "the ideology that it's always
harmful for kids to have sexual relationships with adults," together
with the "irrational fears" parents have about "so-called pedophiles."
{} This week's "Village Ignorati" Award: "Were we too closed in our
own self-absorption and self-interest? Not open or interested in
others -- other cultures, other views, other voices? We seemed closed
in our own success and greed." --Robert Redford on the reasons for the
9-11 attack + This week's "Village Glitterati" Award: "You can do much
better than me." --Woody Allen (AKA Mr.-Boycott-the-Oscars) at the
Oscars **Finally, the truth from a Hollywood weirdo.... Too bad he
didn't really mean it! {} From the "Village Academic Curriculum"
Files: The Collegiate Network announced winners of the annual "Polly
Awards" for political correctness in our nation's bastions of
knowledge. UC Berkeley's sex education class brought home the prize
for an orgy at a class party, and a field trip to a strip club where
the students watched an instructor have sex on stage -- no doubt very
instructive. UNC's Progressive Faculty Network won big with the award
for "anti-American events" for the statement: "Understanding the
attacks on the United States must include an understanding of
different kinds of attacks -- attacks not only by unknown or suspected
terrorists, but attacks by us on ourselves.... Returning violence for
violence multiplies violence." And a final Left Coastin' Lemmings
Award went to the "just administrators" at San Diego State University,
who placed Ethiopian student Zewdalem Kebede on probation for "verbal
abuse" after he confronted Saudi students who (in Arabic) cheered the
9-11 Jihadi attacks on our nation and "expressed sorrow that the
terrorists missed the White House."
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SHORT CUTS
"It's no great trick negotiating a cease-fire in the Middle East;
there have been any number of them. It's like the fellow who said it
was easy to quit smoking; he'd done it lots of times." --Paul
Greenberg ++ "I don't think we should be sending diplomats to the
Middle East. I think we should be sending teams of psychiatrists."
--John Derbyshire {} "The transportation secretary, Underperformin'
Norman Mineta, is continuing his harassment of octogenarian nuns at
airport check-ins. The newly federalized security scanners fall asleep
on the job as often as the minimum-wage, illegal-immigrant,
no-speakka-da-English, wanted-in-three-neighboring-states, old-school
security scanners." --Mark Steyn {} "The INS is the Mickey Mouse Club
of federal agencies, but that's an insult to Mickey Mouse." --Rep. Tom
Tancredo {} "...[T]he networks' Clinton rewrite specialists can't put
the toothpaste back into the tube. The Clinton presidency can't be
compared to a bad season of 'Dallas,' where the angelic Bill Clinton
pops out of the shower and we all realize it was all just a bad dream.
Clinton earned his bad reputation...." --Brent Bozell ++ "Clinton rues
the day he pardoned Marc Rich? That's BS, too. That is bovine
excrement. The only difference between that and a bag of horse manure
is the bag." --Rush Limbaugh ++ "The Whitewater scandal cost the
taxpayers $73 million and you needed an MBA to understand it. The
Lewinsky scandal cost about the same, but only required the
intelligence of your average voyeur." --Mark Russell {} "The Book of
Phrases: Representative government -- where many crooks get to vote
one crook into office." --Johnny Hart in the comic strip "B.C." {}
"The price of the poetry and logic books just went up for no rhyme or
reason." --Bob Thaves in the comic strip "Frank & Ernest"
Jay Leno.... I had a nice Easter, but these Beverly Hills kids are
spoiled. Yesterday I saw some kids using the On Star Global
Positioning System to locate eggs. .... That's the big movie right
now, 'Panic Room' with Jodie Foster. Panic room -- that's sort of like
Yasser Arafat's office. .... The American Taliban Johnny Walker
testified in court.... He complained that when he was captured he was
confined to a room that was too small, had no heat and had only one
light bulb. Oh please, shut up! To every other American 20-year-old
that's called a dorm room! .... Right now in Afghanistan music is
making a comeback. For so long it was banned, but now musicians are
safe to play there again. Do you know what the big hit there is right
now -- disco! Serious, disco music is the big thing in Afghanistan
now. So we've brought them out of the 13th century, but only up to
1978. .... More bad news for airports -- 32 airports were tested for
security and failed because they missed screening things like knives.
Looks like it's safe to fly again -- if you're a terrorist! ....
Playboy magazine is going to do an edition featuring the women of
Enron. I guess the only thing for some of these women left to shred is
their dignity. .... The ratings for the Oscars are in. It was the
lowest ratings for the Oscars ever! The first seven hours were good.
It was somewhere between the 10th and 12th hours that people lost
interest.
David Letterman.... Top April Fool's Pranks in Afghanistan:
Short-sheeted burqas; A fake beard over your real beard; Saying you're
wife #4, when you're really wife #2; Offering someone a can of peanut
brittle and a goat jumps out; Painting giant bull's-eye on roof of
friend's cave; Rocket launchers that shoot out little flag that reads
"Bang"; Replacing secret stockpiles of weaponized Anthrax with
Folger's Crystals; Writing "Wash me" on Osama's camel; Saying you
support the Hamid Karzai government, but secretly supporting a warlord
who has secretly begun to support the Taliban again, but then
betraying the warlord, but then betraying the Karzai government and
really supporting the warlord again; Writing "Wash me" on Osama.
Argus Hamilton.... Boston's Logan Airport had to be evacuated Tuesday
after a janitor mistakenly unplugged a metal detector. This was an
accident waiting to happen. There just aren't enough outlets for the
metal detector, the boom box and the vacuum cleaner. .... Pentagon
sources revealed Sunday that U.S. forces in Afghanistan have captured
al Qaeda leader Abu Zubaydah. He's quite a trophy. Although there was
no dollar amount reward on the head of Abu Zubaydah, his name is worth
a million points in Scrabble. .... Bill Clinton told Newsweek that
he's still angry over all the criticism that was heaped on him at the
end of his term. He said he was mugged on the way out of office. Only
Bill Clinton could take the furniture, the paintings, and a $12
million book deal and think he was robbed. .... Yasser Arafat was
holed up in his residential compound by Israeli tanks and machine
gunners Monday. He's completely surrounded. There is one way out, but
right now he's not thinking clearly enough to go shopping for office
space in Harlem. .... The Ten Commandments with Charlton Heston aired
on ABC's Sunday Night Movie over the weekend. It shows how the
Israelites escaped from Egypt and headed for Palestine. When God gives
Yasser Arafat a bad week, it lasts the entire seven days. .... Jesse
Jackson volunteered to fly to the Middle East and negotiate peace with
America's enemies in the region. His offer to go there was quickly
turned down by the administration. Apparently we're not THAT mad at
the terrorists. .... The Academy Awards may ask Johnny Carson to host
the show next year. This is a risky idea. If you think Whoopi Goldberg
ran too long, don't even ask what time it would be by the time Johnny
Carson got finished telling eight years of pent-up Clinton jokes.
(**) Denotes Editor's Comment
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