New element discovered

[Devil's Advocate]

> > Lawrence Livermore Laboratories has discovered the heaviest
> > element yet
> > known to science.
> >
> > The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25
> > assistant neutrons,
> > 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving
> > it an atomic
> > mass of 312.
> >
> > These 312 particles are held together by forces called
> > morons, which are
> > surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called
> > peons.
> >
> > Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however,
> > it can be
> > detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it
> > comes into
> > contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction
> > that would
> > normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4
> > years to
> > complete.
> >
> > Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 - 6 years. It does
> > not decay, but
> > instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the
> > assistant
> > neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places.
> >
> > In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over
> > time, since each
> > reorganization will cause more morons to become neutrons,
> > forming isodopes.
> >
> > This characteristic of morons promotion leads some scientists
> > to believe
> > that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical
> > concentration.
> > This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
> >
> > When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes
> > Administratium, an element
> > that radiates just as much energy as Governmentium since it
> > has half as many
> > peons but twice as many morons.
> >
>