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DELUSIONALWARMINGFANATICS
Dec 21, 2011, 6:45:24 PM12/21/11
to
Credit goes to Ferd Berple in the comments here:
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2011/12/20/job-opening-for-environment-program-officer/#comment-839164
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
COMMUNISM
You have two cows.
The state takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have two cows.
The state takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have two cows.
The state takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have two cows.
The state takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the
milk away.
AMERICAN VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to
a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving
you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot and block the roads, because you
want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called “Cowkimon” and
market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and
milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go to the pub for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You borrow against the cows from the Germans.
You kill the cows and make souvlaki.
You can’t pay the interest, so the Germans lend you more money.
You can’t pay the interest, so the French lend you more money.
You can’t pay the interest, so the Italians lend you more money.
You can’t pay the interest, so the Spaniards lend you more money.
You can’t pay the interest, so your people hold a general strike.
You can’t pay the interest, so the EU bails you out.
You drink more ouzo.
THE IPCC
You have no cows
You announce that everyone will die from cow farts
Unless they agree to pay trillions in new taxes for cow fart credits.
Scientists, politicians and financiers sign-up in droves hoping to
cash in.
http://wattsupwiththat.com/2011/12/20/job-opening-for-environment-program-officer/#comment-839164
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
COMMUNISM
You have two cows.
The state takes both and gives you some milk.
FASCISM
You have two cows.
The state takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have two cows.
The state takes both and shoots you.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have two cows.
The state takes both, shoots one, milks the other and then throws the
milk away.
AMERICAN VENTURE CAPITALISM
You have two cows.
You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters
of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a
debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all
four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows.
The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to
a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who
sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.
The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on
one more.
You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving
you with nine cows.
No balance sheet provided with the release.
The public then buys your bull.
A FRENCH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You go on strike, organize a riot and block the roads, because you
want three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
and produce twenty times the milk.
You then create a clever cow cartoon image called “Cowkimon” and
market it worldwide.
A GERMAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month and
milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows, but you don’t know where they are.
You decide to have lunch.
A SWISS CORPORATION
You have 5,000 cows. None of them belong to you.
You charge the owners for storing them.
A CHINESE CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You have 300 people milking them.
You claim that you have full employment and high bovine productivity.
You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You worship them.
A BRITISH CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Both are mad.
AN IRAQI CORPORATION
Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.
You tell them that you have none.
No one believes you, so they bomb the crap out of you and invade your
country.
You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of a democracy.
AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION
You have two cows.
Business seems pretty good.
You close the office and go to the pub for a few beers to celebrate.
A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION
You have two cows.
The one on the left looks very attractive.
A GREEK CORPORATION
You have two cows.
You borrow against the cows from the Germans.
You kill the cows and make souvlaki.
You can’t pay the interest, so the Germans lend you more money.
You can’t pay the interest, so the French lend you more money.
You can’t pay the interest, so the Italians lend you more money.
You can’t pay the interest, so the Spaniards lend you more money.
You can’t pay the interest, so your people hold a general strike.
You can’t pay the interest, so the EU bails you out.
You drink more ouzo.
THE IPCC
You have no cows
You announce that everyone will die from cow farts
Unless they agree to pay trillions in new taxes for cow fart credits.
Scientists, politicians and financiers sign-up in droves hoping to
cash in.
DonH
Dec 22, 2011, 1:14:01 PM12/22/11
to
"DELUSIONALWARMINGFANATICS"
<DELUSIONALWARMINGFANATICS@DELUSIONALWARMINGFANATICS> wrote in message
news:4ef26f87$1...@dnews.tpgi.com.au...
# Alright, you've had your little joke.
The real definition of Capitalism is : "the private ownership of the
means of production, distribution, and exchange", as compared with
Socialism, which is the public equivalent.
How this translates into practice is the tricky bit.
The trouble with private operation of a public economy is that privateers
tend to operate mainly in their own interest - and we must rely on a
trickle-down effect, or similar (gold dust from the goose which lays gold
eggs?). Shareholders come first; Service second.
The Communist State tends to go to extremes, and publicly-own everything.
The Bee Hive.
The Corporate State, of Western Plutocracy, believes in Competition. The
Corporate Jungle.
The Welfare State (UK, Europe), tries to tame Capitalism. Kindly
Capitalism.
None of which is very satisfactory.
The Class War will continue, until Industrial Democracy eliminates there
being - those who do the work, and those who get the profit - with this
dichotomy not coinciding.
Of course, we'd still need Cooperation to override Competition, Planning
to supersede Market Forces, and Price Control to supplement Wage Control.
In other words, some elements of Communism, without the hegemony of a
single Party.
"Man is a social animal"; so some form of Socialism seems inevitable, as
otherwise we end up with unredeemed Capitalism, with Boom and Slump cycle,
ad infinitum.
<DELUSIONALWARMINGFANATICS@DELUSIONALWARMINGFANATICS> wrote in message
news:4ef26f87$1...@dnews.tpgi.com.au...
The real definition of Capitalism is : "the private ownership of the
means of production, distribution, and exchange", as compared with
Socialism, which is the public equivalent.
How this translates into practice is the tricky bit.
The trouble with private operation of a public economy is that privateers
tend to operate mainly in their own interest - and we must rely on a
trickle-down effect, or similar (gold dust from the goose which lays gold
eggs?). Shareholders come first; Service second.
The Communist State tends to go to extremes, and publicly-own everything.
The Bee Hive.
The Corporate State, of Western Plutocracy, believes in Competition. The
Corporate Jungle.
The Welfare State (UK, Europe), tries to tame Capitalism. Kindly
Capitalism.
None of which is very satisfactory.
The Class War will continue, until Industrial Democracy eliminates there
being - those who do the work, and those who get the profit - with this
dichotomy not coinciding.
Of course, we'd still need Cooperation to override Competition, Planning
to supersede Market Forces, and Price Control to supplement Wage Control.
In other words, some elements of Communism, without the hegemony of a
single Party.
"Man is a social animal"; so some form of Socialism seems inevitable, as
otherwise we end up with unredeemed Capitalism, with Boom and Slump cycle,
ad infinitum.
Graystar
Dec 23, 2011, 12:17:40 AM12/23/11
to
"DonH" <donlhu...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:CrKIq.697$%E2....@viwinnwfe01.internal.bigpond.com...
Ducky!
Yes! Motivated self-interest is the only way things can get done well,
otherwise people sit back and suck off the communist state. Those who work
are motivated for their own welfare and are in control of it... therefore
they are not adopting a slave mentality. Those free who are taken over by a
communist state will do all they can to resist the repression and will fight
with all they have to stop it, or they will find a free place that they can
acceptably live out their lives.
When there are no more places to go; internal war soon starts... and in our
computer age I suspect it will not last all that long... even IF Georgie
[Harkonen] Soros is funding it with Chinese and Eurasian money, propaganda,
and support.
> The Communist State tends to go to extremes, and publicly-own
> everything.
> The Bee Hive. The Corporate State, of Western Plutocracy, believes in
> Competition. The Corporate Jungle.
> The Welfare State (UK, Europe), tries to tame Capitalism. Kindly
> Capitalism.
> None of which is very satisfactory.
None have even tried pure capitalism. There is a need for some basic laws,
that is what a Representative Constitutional Republic is all about. It does
require one thing: a moral people.
> The Class War will continue, until Industrial Democracy eliminates there
> being - those who do the work, and those who get the profit - with this
> dichotomy not coinciding.
or another.
Just as history shows.
> Of course, we'd still need Cooperation to override Competition,
They are not mutually exclusive; nor can cooperation be Mandated by outside
forces such as governments.
> Planning to supersede Market Forces, and Price Control to supplement Wage
> Control.
failed. California is doing that and we all KNOW what state their financials
and infrastructures are. That is a bad example that supports none of your
list.
> In other words, some elements of Communism, without the hegemony of a
> single Party.
distance rather than the people locally doing the work for their own self
interest. Since it is IN the self-interest of the individual to make the
right decisions and get it right, cooperation is a necessary and sought out
commodity. Look at all the Home Improvement centers per example.
> "Man is a social animal"; so some form of Socialism seems inevitable, as
> otherwise we end up with unredeemed Capitalism, with Boom and Slump cycle,
> ad infinitum.
Being a social animal does not equate to being a Socialist!
The major contributors to boom and bust are financial balloons.
Gee does Fanny Mae and Freddy Mac ring any bells?
Who was in charge of the policies of those instititutions, hmmm?
[government]
Who was demanding that people who could not afford homes be given loans they
could never repay? Who bundled and sold millions of those bad loans with
good loans and sold them as AAA packages to foreign investors? Hmmm?
[*cough* Gubmint!]
Were any of those CRIMINALS ever held to account?
NO.
NO.
NO.
Single handedly the Democrat Communist party has destroyed the Amercan
economy through mismanagement, malfeasance and misappropriation that in ANY
OTHER COUNTRY would have their heads on poles lining the incoming freeways
of DC ala Vlad the Impaler.
The Pathologic Psychology and moral degradation of the Democrat party is
Blatantly evident and sweepingly wide; accepted by a welfare clase of zombie
slaves who will accept all the government "experts" fake reports at face
value.
As the French guys in Monty Python taunted:
"I blow my nose in your general direection!"
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