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[APDD] Time for an update - FAQ 2.2

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Osama Bin James

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Jan 15, 2001, 9:21:37 PM1/15/01

FAQ of APDD v2.2

INTRO
-----
This is the official FAQ of the newsgroup alt.pizza.delivery.drivers,
updated on January 15 2001. Any other FAQ claiming to be the official FAQ
is in error, and it is requested to no longer be posted as information
contained therein is out of date and inaccurate. The newest and official
copy of this document can be found always at the official APDD site,
http://jre.hostingcheck.com/apdd/

FAQ
---

1 What is considered on-topic in alt.pizza.delivery.drivers?
=======
Anything but the discussion of pizza delivery and pizza delivery
drivers.

2 Why?
=======
BEFUCKINGCAUSE!!!!1!

3 How did the Empire of APDD come to exist?
=======
That's another document altogether, entitled "The Story of APDD" which
is usually posted alongside this FAQ. You can find a copy of it at the
official APDD site at http://jre.hostingcheck.com/apdd/

4 What usenet kook awards have the ousted members of the old APDD earned
for their actions in the epic battle that made them lose their tyrannical
grip on an unmoderated alt.* group?
=======
Davey Griffith, "Moderator" of APDD and harasser of ISPs
- Villiage Idiot (April 2000)
StiffMeNot, Poster and mailbomber
- Clueless Newbie (April 2000)
- Office of Darth Bawl (April 2000)
- Coward of the Month (April 2000)
- Custer Kicked Ass award

*NOTE: StiffMeNot now posts as "IHateBubba". Fitting, since he'll
probably wind up sharing a cell with him some day.

5 Who are the d00dz and d00d3tt3z of the Empire?
=======
Posters who have gone above and beyond the call of duty to contribute to
the Empire of APDD. A d00dsignation, a alphanumeric designation assigned to
you by the Emperor himself, has as much clout in APDD as having the
Congressional Medal of Honor in the US or being a member of the Order of
Canada in Canada. A complete list of the d00dz and d00d3tt3z can be found
at http://jre.hostingcheck.com/apdd

6 Does Neal (er...@pacbell.net) have erectile dysfunction?
=======
If he does not currently, he did on October 21st 1999, when he posted
the following about his girlfriend to alt.bread.recipes:

"She didn't make my loaf rise..."

Neal denies he ever posted this but a d00d of APDD forged him. This
flies in the face of logic - not only is it archived at Deja.com's (
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=538780137&fmt=text ), but the d00d in
question neither has access to Neal's computer, ISP, or a time machine.

7 Who is MarsRules?
=======
Mars is a usenet kook who makes rape/death threats to the Emperor of
APDD. Mars was not part of APDD before the Empire started, but
alt.prophecies.nostradamus where Mars latched on to the Emperor after his
efforts gained Mars the Usenet Kook of the Month award (April 2000). Mars
has won several kook awards since then and is on his way to being nominated
for kook of the year for the year 2000. He occasionally posts his anti-
Emperor diatribes to APDD and sometimes contacts APDD kooks like Neal (see
Q6) who take his paranoid schizophrenic ramblings as the gospel truth. See
http://mars.usenetkooks.com for more information on Mars as well as
documented cases of anti-semitism, homophobia, and death threats.

8 Are Britney Spears' breasts real?
=======
Yes, but she looked better in December 1999 with light skin and light
brown hair than she does today as a tanned blonde. Aguilera's a better
singer and probably better in the sack too.

9 What's the difference between a pizzaboy and a pizza delivery person?
=======
A pizza delivery person works a job delivering pizzas. A pizzaboy wants
this as their only job until retirement, places bodily secretions onto the
pizzas of customers they do not like, claim minorities are cheap,
homosexuals are evil (and call their enemies "fags" or "gay", thinking it
to be a great flame), and probably are misoginst as well. One pizzaboy
(actually a female) sees no problem in drawing blood of customers she
doesn't like if it means a better tip next time. Pizzaboys are
psychologically imbalanced, and the primary reason the Empire of APDD was
set up.

10 Who is the FAQ enforcer of APDD?
=======
There is no such thing as a FAQ enforcer, since a FAQ cannot be
enforced. Anyone who thinks otherwise is Daveeeeeeeey.

11 Is Metal a repressed homosexual?
=======
Metal constantly makes references to homosexuality. It's all he thinks
about. Many psychologists see this as a sign of repressed homosexuality,
of which the victim is "ashamed" of. This channels into agression against
homosexuals so the repressed can "prove" he is not gay.

He's gay, but doesn't know it himself.

12 Is Neal a racist?
=======
Fuckin' A. One of the many things that separate Pizza Delivery persons
from Pizzaboys (see question 9) are how they percieve members of other
races.

Neal, a pizzaboy, on November 12th 2000, posted that -

"Koreans suck as bad as blacks when it comes to tips.......
They compete with one another in displaying their wealth but they are
the most god-awful tippers...
They are 'kinda like the niggers of Asia!"

http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=692652009&fmt=text

13 Is Neal in-fucking-sane?
=======
Totally. Not only does he claim his cat talks, (
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=694126784&fmt=text ), but ficitonal
characters from Shakespeare tip pizzaboys (
http://www.deja.com/threadmsg_ct.xp?AN=695748857&fmt=text ). He also uses
MarsRules (see question 7) as a source, and cannot tell the difference
between content-based netKKKopping and flooding/spamming a newsgroup (
http://www.deja.com/getdoc.xp?AN=687434900&fmt=text ).

As a side note, the last deja reference in this section is the exact
post in which Neal permanently lost any reminants of his sanity.

14 Is this the Official FAQ of APDD?
=======
There is no such thing as an official FAQ, but it pisses the pizzaboys
off to refer to this as it. So please, call this the official FAQ.

15 What's the deal with IHateBubba?
=======
IHateBubba is the definition of a pizzaboy. He is a racist criminal.
He posts
lengthy diatribes against African culture and has admitted to vandalizing
both food and property of people he is employed to deliver to. He holds no
respect for his employer; he openly admits to disregarding company policy
for his own personal gain. We call him Stiffy, and he works at Pizza Hut
for $5.80 an hour.

18 What about the other FAQ?
=======
You might see another FAQ out there in APDD written by "Daveeeeey
Griffith". If you know about the history of APDD (see the Empire's
website), you'd realize that Daveeeey was a coward and no longer posts in
APDD. It is therefore a FAQ written by someone who does not associate with
APDD.

The FAQ that pizzaboys try to hold up as "the official FAQ" was last
updated in 1999. The year this FAQ is written is 2001. The 1999 one is
therefore out of date.

The FAQ the pizzaboys hold up is version 1.3. This FAQ is a completely
revamped version of the pizzaboy FAQ, and is therefore numbered 2.2. This
FAQ is therefore more current.

Which one would you listen to then, the one written well over a year ago
by a non-poster, or the one written this year by the maintainer of the
Empire's website?

CLOSING
-------
Corrections/suggestions can be posted in APDD at anytime. All
suggestions are welcome, unless they come from pizzaboys.

Remember, if you don't see a FAQ posted in APDD at
http://jre.hostingcheck.com/apdd , it's not considered worthy to be paid
attention to.

The End.
--
___ ___ _ __ __ _ ___ ___ _ _ _ _ __ __ ___ ___
/ _ \/ __| /_\ | \/ | /_\ | _ )_ _| \| | _ | |/_\ | \/ | __/ __|
| (_) \__ \/ _ \| |\/| |/ _ \ | _ \| || .` | | || / _ \| |\/| | _|\__ \
\___/|___/_/ \_\_| |_/_/ \_\ |___/___|_|\_| \__/_/ \_\_| |_|___|___/
"tHE kING oF (usenet) tERROR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
mhm26x7 -- ARSCC-TOR(wdne) SP2 "James is the King Troll."
Cohort Cabal Member #6.9 (TINCC) <8F2E9947Bth...@24.12.106.199>
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
http://www.petitmorte.net "Have you had a little death today?"

Alex Cain

unread,

Jan 16, 2001, 2:04:54 PM1/16/01

Great job. Subscribe!

Alex Cain

unread,

Jan 16, 2001, 7:22:41 PM1/16/01

Osama Bin James wrote:
>
> n...@way.jose (Phoenix) doth bitch'd in alt.pizza.delivery.drivers:
>
> >In article <940b7h$c6l$5...@blackhelicopter.databasix.com>, Osama Bin James

> ><emper...@clownpenis.fart> wrote:
> >
> >> FAQ of APDD v2.2
> >>
> >>
> >> INTRO
> >> -----
> >> This is the official FAQ of the newsgroup
> >> alt.pizza.delivery.drivers,
> >> updated on January 15 2001. Any other FAQ claiming to be the official
> >> FAQ is in error, and it is requested to no longer be posted as
> >> information contained therein is out of date and inaccurate. The
> >> newest and official copy of this document can be found always at the
> >> official APDD site, http://jre.hostingcheck.com/apdd/
> >

> >Well, just as long as it's not the Official FAQ. You can get away with
> >just official FAQ if you want.
>
> Of course.

> >I do believe Neal and Shut-Up and Anti-Freeze have all received awards
> >too.
>
> Hmm. Do you happen to know off-hand what they recieved and when?
>
> Thanks d00d.

>
> >> *NOTE: StiffMeNot now posts as "IHateBubba". Fitting, since he'll
> >> probably wind up sharing a cell with him some day.
> >

> >This was, apparently, his original monicker, until AOL busted him for
> >using hate speech.
>
> Amazing. AOL considers "I hate bubba" hate speech, but "I hate the African
> culture" not.

Easily explained by AOL hiring few to none African-Americans for their
abuse department. Can you say "Class-Action Suit"? Sure, I thought you
could.

> >Is there anybody who doesn't believe she's been in the sack with at
> >least 10 roadies?
>
> Hey, she's a virgin. So it was probably just oral.

>
> >> 9 What's the difference between a pizzaboy and a pizza delivery
> >> person?
> >> =======
> >> A pizza delivery person works a job delivering pizzas. A pizzaboy
> >> wants
> >> this as their only job until retirement, places bodily secretions onto
> >> the pizzas of customers they do not like, claim minorities are cheap,
> >> homosexuals are evil (and call their enemies "fags" or "gay", thinking
> >> it to be a great flame), and probably are misoginst as well. One
> >> pizzaboy (actually a female) sees no problem in drawing blood of
> >> customers she doesn't like if it means a better tip next time.
> >> Pizzaboys are psychologically imbalanced, and the primary reason the
> >> Empire of APDD was set up.
> >

> >They vandalize property, cool down pizzas, warm up sodas,
> >hate children, hate pets...
>
> I can't believe I forgot about cheating children and letting pets escape.
> I should add that in 2.3.

> >If it were an Official FAQ it would be kooksign, hence why we just
> >settle for it being just official FAQ.
>
> Of course. There is no such thing as an Official FAQ.

>
> >> 15 What's the deal with IHateBubba?
> >> =======
> >> IHateBubba is the definition of a pizzaboy. He is a racist
> >> criminal.
> >> He posts
> >> lengthy diatribes against African culture and has admitted to
> >> vandalizing both food and property of people he is employed to deliver
> >> to. He holds no respect for his employer; he openly admits to
> >> disregarding company policy for his own personal gain. We call him
> >> Stiffy, and he works at Pizza Hut for $5.80 an hour.
> >

> >I believe he's an 11-year veteran of the pizzaboy force.
>
> Depressing, isn't it?

> >Thank You.
>
> There's a whole whole whole lot more.

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