> Does religious feeling have to include an experience of 'God?' Is religious
> feeling incompatible with atheism? Can a religious experience ever
> contradict previously held religious beliefs rather than be interpreted in
> terms of those beliefs? Thoughts? Ideas?
>
> Terry
> --
> "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats."
> -Albert Schweitzer
>
> badass linux - 3.2.12-gentoo
My own take [not that anyone would care to hear, but I'm gonna tell
you anyway]...my own take on the 'religious experience'...is that one
cannot understand it 'thorugh discussion' or by 'intellectual
analysis'. Like "beauty", when one tries to take it into the
laboratory and dissect it to find out what it is...it 'vanishes' to
become something 'not beautiful' in and of itself. Beauty, to the
rationalist, then becomes, 'flighty', just an 'irrational' viewpoint
of the non-intellect.
And yet, can anyone DENY that beauty exists? If they do, they have
squandered much of the potential for positivity to their human
existence [IMHO of course].
There are so many angles; zillions of people have tried over
eons...and what little pittance can I offer to the subject? But what
the hell...here I go. [just another love song, or something, ha].
Being raised 'rationally' [through parentage], I questioned from early
on 'what the crap is this?...what is this LIFE I have awoken up
'within', here, on this planet, in space, time, the cosmos...somewhere
in the midst of the infinite or whatever? I tried to reduce it to
base logic...nothing more [dispensing with just about everything
everyone else was telling me]. Ok...so...I'm a machine of some sort.
I have parts, and they operate in such a way as to sustain this ME,
from which my consciousness emanates [I won't even get into the
questions of what consciousness is here; who am I to say, but only
say, 'it is' and 'I am'].
Ok...what is the machine's function, I asked? Base logic...from the
most general point of understanding...I concluded the base function of
all these parts was somehow to stimulate this thing we call
consciousness, in some vital, postive way [positive in that, it must
equate to come out on a teeter saw of experience to be something
'worth the while'...or else, I suppose the parts would seek to 'not
work' as it were].
Anyway, I'm getting convuluted here...but I'm trying to get to the
part where I concluded the general PURPOSE of all these parts making
up this machine I was, was to create, by base logic, EXPERIENCE. I
was an 'experience machine'.
This is an oversimplification of course, but it helped me to realize a
certain 'categorization' of EXPERIENCES that LIFE while conscious as a
human being on this planet, has to offer. I would always STOP in the
middle of life's activities, and try to 'review' the experience I was
having [in whatever activity it was I was doing]. What was the
object? To 'win' something? To 'obtain' something? To find purpose
to something? Glory? Riches? Adoration? Some sense of self
significanse? All...just EXPERIENCES while alive. So...what was I
after? What EXPERIENCE in this life, that was open to my reach,
seemed to be 'what it was all about'? And was the present activity,
whatever it was that I was doing, 'worth the effort' [considering the
ultimate object I was after]?
I found early on that, the deeper I analyzed my own behaviors, the
more I realized a 'general' object in life was to MATE [which probably
leads to reproduction, but that was never the conscious
consideration...but only finding that mate; that special someone of
the opposite sex to share things with]. There was a great emotional
pull in this, that in may ways, dwarfed all other activities and
experiences. The EXPERIENCE in mating is SUBLIME...especially when it
does end in physical intimacy. But it is the EMOTIONAL bonding that
was so 'significant'...that trumphed nearly everything else as to
justifiable experiences. In fact, most of the 'other life's
activities', had much to do with this one general pursuit...to mate
[as sublimative energies I found out in my studies; which made perfect
sense to me]. I wasn't really trying to win that ball game I played
back in high school, but I was TRYING to impress Cindy Loo...to
somehow 'win' her love and adoration of me.
If I had to catorgize life's experiences, say on a scale from 1 to 10,
the emotional energies found in that one single relationship with
Cindy Loo [my idealized woman], was a 1000. It dwarfed everything
else...I thought. At the time, if one had to pigeonhole me as to what
is Life's meaning, I'd have then said, 'to find Cindy Loo, seal the
deal emotionally, and live happily ever after, raising kids and white
picket fence houses and all'. Such idealized fantasy of course, but
most of us have it at some point in our early lives.
I found my Cindy Loo; a young 22 year old South Carolina Woman,
'BEAUTIFUL' to my eyes, and my 24 year old hormones were RIPE. Mating
is far more than copulation, or else any good whore would do [which is
entirely missing the whole OBJECT to life, imho]. The object, is to
find that EMOTIONAL BOND between that opposite sexual partner where a
'higher self' of obtained between the two; a marriage as it were.
Be as it may, such idealized 'fantasy' romantic views of life rarely
come to fruition. As flawed human beings, we find the actual people
we choose as possible mates fall far away from our
'idealization'...and the intellectuals find ready argument to convey
it is all illusive, and made upon 'necessary attractions' to 'betray
us', rather than serve us. Thus, the rose is a 'thorn tree' more than
it is a flower bush [in nature, everything justified through it's
survival potential].
In other words, most of us get our hearts broken, we become
disallusioned, disappointed, and even 'used or misused' as the song
goes. We mature, grow harder barks, and learn...but all the while,
'withdrawing' from the emotional potential we once were as 'youth'.
Perhaps that's needed too, in a predatory world, where hard barked
trees have better natural defences [and get laid more often] than
those trees with softer, fleshy, outer skins.
Needless to day, 'my' Cindly Loo...broke my heart. Details don't
matter [as far the experience goes, I dare say, we ALL go through it,
in some relativistic way, each in our own circumstances, but...as 'raw
experience' an equivalency nonetheless].
LIke I said, I was raised to be rational; to QUESTION experience, even
as I was in it's throes. LIke Socrates, this great loving energy I
felt for this 'Cindy Loo', that had set me on wings in a pure
adulation of life itself, as something sublime and full of purpose and
meaning [without having to question it]...had then, almost overnight,
become a bottomless pit if turmoil and chaos...and a REAL, bonafide
physical torture, the likes of which I had never experienced the
depths of before or since Well, I garned what muster of objectivity I
could while in such horrible pain, and tried to LOOK AT IT...like
perhaps Socrates might have; to question the misery, the torture, the
sheer hopelessness of it...even as I swam in it.
And thusly, I questioned...exactly what, indeed, was happening to me?
One day, I was on cloud nine...in the midst of the highest rapture I
could imagine; life abundant, love's energy swimming throughout my
consciousness, leaving me in such a profondly happy state, well, there
are no words. And then, the very next day...the almost near opposite;
being sent into hellish hole of misery as a soul forsaken from it's
very purpose to even co-exist with the very thing it loved so
dearly.
Something was amiss here. Cindy Loo, a single human being like
myself, could have so much POWER over me; to have total control over
my emotional output, energy, my very BEing. Why was this? What was
so demonstrably 'real' in this 'intangible' thing we call
'consciousness' that I was so 'profoundly' now attached to [before I
probably should have been so attached].
Indeed, what was Cindy Loo...except an OBJECT in my environment...like
all other objects? Oh, functionally, a very important object of
course, since she represented my 'reproductive rights' in this world;
my capacity to mate. But...also to FEEL?
That simply would not do.
Something 'real' had been drawn out from me due to her BEAUTY. LIke
the fleshy snail unwinding from it's protective shell, something very
tangible had 'disembarked' its protective shell from my consciousness,
and was 'sorely naked and open'. The emanation seemed centered in my
chest...but was whole throughout whatever I was. And I found it would
take me many months to 'withdraw' this emantion back into it's proper
protective place within, and indeed, could never be fully recoiled to
the innocense I once was [what some argue is a lasting scar from such
'first cuts' of romance, as it were].
I go into all his in some detail, not to bore others with my now long
forgotten love life, but to explain how my 'emotional' self was
brought to 'full bore' hormonal robustness in the presence of my
Cindly Loo. I was energized like the energizer bunny...and I'd keep
on ticking for quite some time after that. But...I had no object; she
had left me; rejected me as it were. I had immaturely 'unraveled
myself' not checking the road both ways before crossing. I was
out...something real from me was 'out and about'...and nowhere now to
go. It hurt like hell.
But love was the SUBLIME experience...not Cindy Loo. It was her
beauty that pulled me out is all. All I needed was a NEW object to
funnel this energy toward.
Get the picture here? Yet?
Thank goodness, my paternal grandmother had insisted that I be raised
with solid Christain foundation when young. I can see how such
'negative experiences' as I was having at the time, could send people
insane. Most come through it like mentioned, but with harder barks
and a just a little bit less optimism in life. We mature.
But...something happened to me...and the point why I would post this
in a thread relating to 'religious experence'. My 'emotions' were
already on 'high octane'...exacerbated to the nth degree. And so, the
object I turned to...well, was God.
Now, now...please; I can see the Sir Freds and Immorts [ha, not that
they would have read this far anyway], scamper for the hills. Oh,
lordy be...there's that 'G' word again.
But, hear me out. An object is an object is an object. We've been
talking about threads where aliens might have sixteen appendages, and
noses on their butts and eyes on the end of fingers...who knows. And
yet, BEAUTY...might exist to them as well. And whatever ATTRACTIONS
that exist to exacerbate that emotional output that puts one in such
high octane 'energized' "state", well, for me, it was Cindy Loo.
But...she was JUST AN OBJECT. Get it yet?
Why should ANY object, good bad, or ugly, DEFINE to any of us 'how we
should FEEL'? The 'G' word simply became a FUNNEL, whereby my
consciousness COULD 'migrate' this emotional output as an 'attachment
to all things'.
"What's that", you say, "All things"? Yep, that's what I found, at
least as a possibility [and for me, as reality for some very
significant, robust, and quite memorable moments in my life].
You see, there is not definition of what God is. The best I heard
while growing up, was that God was 'all things'. Some might call that
just absurdity...but it doesn't matter. It was 'real' for me at that
moment [and other moments since]. The OBJECT was not Cindy Loo I
concluded...but it was always about ME...MY EXPERIENCE in life [sounds
selfish I know, but that's the way it is]. I wanted to LOVE...I
wanted to FEEL...just like I did with Cindy Loo. And lo and behold, I
found that as I funneled my Consciousness 'through' this non-descript
[and probably othewise meaningless 'word' we call GOD]...well,
No, that's not saying it right. I recognized not OBJECTS at that
point...but MY STATE. I was the thing I was AFTER...that is, the LOVE
I saught was not so much that Cindy Loo loved me [that would have been
a more simplistic remedy and probably more what nature intended for
reproduction]...but that I could STILL 'be love' myself.
Ah...this all sound silly as I write here, ha. But you know that
profound highest sublime state I said I found with Cindy Loo as my
object...there was 'better'. I found that through a conceptualization
of God [and I would imagine we all have imagination to conceptualize
however we can, if we care too of course], I was essentially a spigot
of energy that was...well, just as the good book said, a 'cup
runnething over', LOL.
Our brains make whatever sense it can of the whole affair of course;
some might venture into mysticism and magic...some into dogmatic
rendition taught them from birth. I use what I can...which is not a
whole lot from the bible [maybe I'm just slow or something]...but my
OBJECT remains to sustain this sublime state we call LOVE. I hate the
word BTW; does not do the state justice IMHO...makes mushy or
something, like that fairy guy Leo Buscaglia used to preach.
But realize, I speak now with my 'intellect'. I cannot convey the
EXPERIENCE with words; not well anyway. I was born lucky [maybe, if
this holds any water anyway]...and can believe in Santa Claus and the
tooth fairy [ha, not really...but close]. It is a POWER of mind to
me...nothing else. Controlling it; now that's the challenge.
One thing about love though...it does change you. Whatever energy
this is, however it is produced, be it nervous pathways, or chemical
bombs going off inside one's brain, or whatever it is...it IS, by
FAR...the greatest experience LIFE has to offer [by my own
categorization of course and even makes romantic love with Cindy Loo
pale in comparison]. I can't explain it well, but it's every essence
is meaning and purpose itself [but without object, if that makes any
sense]. I suppose humans have been trying to define it since time
memorial...everyone having their angle at it. This is mine. I
suppose it's no worse than any other looney bin tale, ha. Ah...but
while in it's throes...everything fits; it all comes together; makes
sense; has purpose, and all is well. As the genders are torn apart
romantically in today's world, I pity those who do not have God to
fall back upon. But then...I never got to fuck Cindy Loo either;
so...who's to say who is better off. I'm just old and tired now...