Cancer birthday song

[Annie Woughman]

Right now there is a "Happy Birthday" cancer awareness campaign going on.
This is fine, except that why can't the singers just sing the freaking song
without trying to put every bit of range of their vocal capabilities into
this one little song? Not only do their tricked out happy birthday songs
sound ridiculous, it makes the sing look ridiculous because of all their
facial contortions as they reach for that warble or wank or whatever they
are going for. Even Marilyn Monroe did a better job of the song when she
sang to JFK than these "professional" singers are doing. Sometimes less
really is more.

[Julian Macassey]

On Wed, 9 Nov 2011 10:14:31 -0800, Annie Woughman
<anniew...@hotmail.com> wrote:
> Right now there is a "Happy Birthday" cancer awareness campaign going on.
> This is fine, except that why can't the singers just sing the freaking song
> without trying to put every bit of range of their vocal capabilities into
> this one little song?

There are singers who think they have to add vibrato etc.
to show they are committed and professional.

The late recod producer Archie Bleyer was driven nuts by
over dramatic singers and would stop the session and ask them to
sing the way they sang as children. That usually did the trick.

> Not only do their tricked out happy birthday songs
> sound ridiculous, it makes the sing look ridiculous because of all their
> facial contortions as they reach for that warble or wank or whatever they
> are going for. Even Marilyn Monroe did a better job of the song when she
> sang to JFK than these "professional" singers are doing. Sometimes less
> really is more.

Was anyone listening to Marilyn Monroe when she sang
Happy birthday Mr. President?



--
Travel is fatal to prejudice, bigotry, and narrow-mindedness, and many of
our people need it sorely on these accounts. - Mark Twain

[Geoff Miller]

"Annie Woughman" <anniew...@hotmail.com> writes:

> Right now there is a "Happy Birthday" cancer awareness campaign going on.

I have cancer awareness fatigue.

In fact, I have a serious case of give-a-shit fatigue when it comes to
anything that's commemorated by one of those stupid-assed ribbons, of
whatever color.

I realized that the whole thing had jumped the proverbial shark when I
noted that Kitchen Aid had come out with a "breast cancer awareness"
stand mixer...in that biliious purplish-pink, naturally. Yeah, that's
what I want to be reminded of while I'm preparing food: tit cancer!
It really whets the ol' appetite.

Aww, for the love of Ghod, I thought. Give it a rest already, won't
you? Whatever became of subtlety and decorum? Not to mention good,
old-fashioned taste?

Subsidiary Peeve: How is it determined which color stands for what,
and who decides? Why purplish-pink for breast cancer? Why orange on
carafe handles for decaffeinated coffee? Why avocado, oxblood, and
harvest gold for appliances in the '70s? And so on and so fort'...




Geoff

--
"I've got compassion fatigue. I've already given a fig leaf, two
hoots, and a damn." -- Jeremy Henderson

[Julian Macassey]

On Fri, 25 Nov 2011 22:59:27 -0800, Geoff Miller <geo...@netgate.net> wrote:
>
>
> I have cancer awareness fatigue.
>
> In fact, I have a serious case of give-a-shit fatigue when it comes to
> anything that's commemorated by one of those stupid-assed ribbons, of
> whatever color.

To the ribbons, add the rubber bands on the wrist.

>
> I realized that the whole thing had jumped the proverbial shark when I
> noted that Kitchen Aid had come out with a "breast cancer awareness"
> stand mixer...in that biliious purplish-pink, naturally. Yeah, that's
> what I want to be reminded of while I'm preparing food: tit cancer!
> It really whets the ol' appetite.

But is there a breast cancer awareness vibrator, or are
most sex toys that colour?

>
> Subsidiary Peeve: How is it determined which color stands for what,
> and who decides? Why purplish-pink for breast cancer?

Well, pink is for girls. So a pink ribbon could never be
for prostate cancer. But then what colour should the prostate
cancer ribbon be? Throbbing purple?

> Why orange on carafe handles for decaffeinated coffee?

I always believed that was because Brim decaffinated
coffee used that orange on their cans.

> Why avocado, oxblood, and harvest gold for appliances in the
> '70s? And so on and so fort'...

These were decided upon by the committee of poor taste.

--
"Comment voulez-vous gouverner un pays qui a deux cent quarante-six variétés
de fromage?" ("How can you govern a country which has two hundred and
forty-six varieties of cheese?") - Charles de Gaulle

[Geoff Miller]

Julian Macassey <jul...@tele.com> writes:

> To the ribbons, add the rubber bands on the wrist.

I thought the rubber bands on the wrist were symbols of that "Judaism
Lite" quasi-religion that Madonna and several other celebs were into
about a decade ago.

Peeve: Madonna. What is she good for, aside from displacing air?

> But is there a breast cancer awareness vibrator, or are most sex toys
> that colour?

It's been my observation that most sex toys are "putty" colored, like
first-generation Macintoshes. (Coincidence? Perhaps.)

Personally, I happen to admire the colored, silicone ones with glitter
inside.

There's a rather large marital-aid and pornography boutique in an
industrial section of Reno, out by 395 (Suzy's). It's open 24 hours.,
and is reportedly the place you go when it's 3:00 AM and you
absolutely have to have a big, black dildo.



Geoff

--
"Incidentally, I recently read about a sex-toy shop that described
their smallest-sized dildo as the 'Porsche Driver.'" -- Pat Steppic

[Julian Macassey]

On Wed, 07 Dec 2011 19:19:41 -0800, Geoff Miller <geo...@netgate.net> wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
> Julian Macassey <jul...@tele.com> writes:
>
>> To the ribbons, add the rubber bands on the wrist.
>
> I thought the rubber bands on the wrist were symbols of that "Judaism
> Lite" quasi-religion that Madonna and several other celebs were into
> about a decade ago.

I think the Madonna ones are made from rags or
recycled tampons.

The rubber bands often have trendy meaningless phrases
on them. There is a yellow one that says "LIVESTRONG" God knows
what that means.

They come in various colours. I think the legalise weed
people hand out green ones.

>
> Peeve: Madonna. What is she good for, aside from displacing air?

She is good to show that in show business, talent is
secondary.

>
>
>> But is there a breast cancer awareness vibrator, or are most sex toys
>> that colour?
>
> It's been my observation that most sex toys are "putty" colored, like
> first-generation Macintoshes. (Coincidence? Perhaps.)

Thye come in lots of colours, including purple, no doubt
as a nod to the warrior with a helmet of that colour.

>
> Personally, I happen to admire the colored, silicone ones with glitter
> inside.

Helps break the ice at parties.

>
> There's a rather large marital-aid and pornography boutique in an
> industrial section of Reno, out by 395 (Suzy's). It's open 24 hours.,
> and is reportedly the place you go when it's 3:00 AM and you
> absolutely have to have a big, black dildo.

Have you noticed that the purchasers of marital aids
tend not to be married, and if they are, they are not married to
each other.


--
It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through
disobedience and through rebellion. - Oscar Wilde

[Jesper Lauridsen]

On Wed, 07 Dec 2011 22:05:53 -0600, Julian Macassey <jul...@tele.com>
wrote:

> The rubber bands often have trendy meaningless phrases
> on them. There is a yellow one that says "LIVESTRONG" God knows
> what that means.

That's the one Lance Armstrong is pushing. The Onion did a version
with "cheat to win" on it.

[Julian Macassey]

Do we really have to depend on The Onion for meaningful
slogans? That's a pretty sad commentary on our society.

[Steve Daniels]

On Wed, 07 Dec 2011 22:05:53 -0600, against all advice, something
compelled Julian Macassey <jul...@tele.com>, to say:

> The rubber bands often have trendy meaningless phrases
> on them. There is a yellow one that says "LIVESTRONG" God knows
> what that means.

http://www.livestrong.org/lances-story




--

Howdya like that... we started playing guitar to impress the chicks and wind
up talkin' fingernails with old men.

Ray Boyce - 9.27.09

[Seth]

In article <slrnje1ak1...@adeed.tele.com>,

Julian Macassey <jul...@tele.com> wrote:

> Do we really have to depend on The Onion for meaningful
>slogans?

Why not? It's one of the two best sources for news, as well.

> That's a pretty sad commentary on our society.

No comment.

Seth

[Geoff Miller]

Julian Macassey <jul...@tele.com> poses:

> Do we really have to depend on The Onion for meaningful
> slogans? That's a pretty sad commentary on our society.

Perhaps. But if nothing else, it's always been a great source
of .sig quotes.



Geoff

--
"Jurisprudence Fetishist Gets Off On Technicality" -- The Onion