Low SAQ
Jayant Rajgopal
So it's about people with low SAQs.
That's Situational Awareness Quotient. I'm not sure who it was,
but someone on the net used the phrase "generally low situational
awareness" to describe people who hold up lines (in reference to a
peeve that I had posted on the subject). Well, I think it just sums
up the scene beautifully. I cannot believe the number of people
with low SAQs that are roaming the streets, making life miserable
for the few of us who are normal...
Take today. I'm driving in to work, and I'm in the middle lane
of a 3 lane highway. A little ahead of me, and in the right lane,
is a woman in a Volvo wagon. We've passed about 37 signs reminding
us that the right lane is an exit only lane, so I'm expecting the
Volvo to leave peacefully, especially since it's starting to slow
down. Just as I draw level with her (a few yards away from the
exit ramp) she suddenly turns on her signal and starts to cut in !
Well, I'm still alive, but no thanks to the Volvoid. I cannot
understand what the hell was going through her mind all the while.
She certainly didn't look blind, so she couldn't have missed the
goddamn signs. And she had the nerve to actually wag her finger,
and wave her hands, and shake her fist, and generally act highly
aggrieved with me after nearly killing me !
Well, guess what happens next. I get off the highway and I'm at a
4 way stop. In front of me is another station wagon (a Subaru
this time). Well, cars seem to be coming and going from the
other three sides, but this one isn't moving. What the hell is
going on, I wonder. Believe it or not, there's a woman in the Subaru
who's busy adjusting her goddamn MAKEUP. Can you believe that ? I'm
late for work, and there's this imbecile dusting some goop on to
her cheeks with a little brush and making funny faces at her rear
view mirror. I honk long and loud, and she suddenly comes to life.
Like she just realized that she's not alone in front of her bathroom
mirror.
And finally, it's the parking garage. This is one of those jobbies
with 6 floors, where you wind your way up. At 9:30 AM there's no
earthly chance of a spot below the 5th floor; I know since I park
here daily. Normally I just whiz up till I hit the 5th and then start
looking for a spot. Not today. In front of me is a bozo in a suit and
hat, driving a pickup. He's got a parking sticker for the garage, so
he's got to know that there isn't going to be anything until we get
to 5 or 6. So what does he do ? He drives along at 1 mph intently
peering to his left and to his right looking for that one spot
that has his name on it. At the turns between floors he slows down to
0.01 mph and keeps looking around to make sure that he doesn't scratch
the sides of his truck. Goddamn it, how can you drive something
without knowing its head from its ass ? And in any case the truck looks
like it just got back from the war in Iraq. I kid you not, it took me
about 15 times the normal time it takes me to park.
What is it with these morons ?
I know all about Cochran's Conjecture (80% of the people in
the world are brain-dead). Well, I'd like to add JR's Corrollary
to Cochran's Conjecture: 18 of the remaining 20 percent don't HAVE a brain.
--jr--
Geoff Miller
In article <181...@unix.cis.pitt.edu> gun...@unix.cis.pitt.edu
(Jayant Rajgopal) writes:
>That's Situational Awareness Quotient. I'm not sure who it was,
>but someone on the net used the phrase "generally low situational
>awareness" to describe people who hold up lines (in reference to a
>peeve that I had posted on the subject).
'Twas I. I run into these people all the time myself, in lines and in other
contexts, so that's an expression that I have frequent occasion to ponder.
------
>Well, I think it just sums up the scene beautifully. I cannot believe the
>number of people with low SAQs that are roaming the streets, making life
>miserable for the few of us who are normal...
It's astounding that more of these people aren't run over by buses, isn't
it?
Peeve: The way the bus companies and bus manufacturers refuse to call buses
"buses." For some reason, they insist on calling them "coaches."
Well, excuuuuuse me! Uh, I believe that a "coach" is a type of
horse-drawn wagon, not a motor vehicle.
------
>Take today. I'm driving in to work, and I'm in the middle lane
>of a 3 lane highway. A little ahead of me, and in the right lane,
>is a woman in a Volvo wagon.
Obviously, a left-leaning yuppie. Was this Volvo wagon equipped with a
baby seat and a circular "A New Way Of Thinking -- Beyond War" sticker?
I thought so. This wasn't in Palo Alto, was it?
------
>We've passed about 37 signs reminding us that the right lane is an exit
>only lane, so I'm expecting the Volvo to leave peacefully, especially
>since it's starting to slow down.
I had something like that happen to me last Saturday morning. Waiting to
turn left in an intersection with a two-way light, some lady got all pissed
off at me because she wanted to turn left from the opposite direction but
didn't signal, and so I sat there waiting for her to move through the
intersection so I could make my turn. (This was right after I was forced
off the freeway by a guy pulling a boat, who paced me and made it impossible
to get out of the exit-only lane. It was an interesting morning. All I
wanted to do was get to Tahoe.)
------
>Well, guess what happens next. I get off the highway and I'm at a
>4 way stop. In front of me is another station wagon (a Subaru
>this time).
Obviously a bunny hugger; for reasons that I have yet to determine, the
Subaru station wagon has replaced the VW microbus as the vehicle of choice
among the politically correct.
>Believe it or not, there's a woman in the Subaru who's busy adjusting her
>goddamn MAKEUP. Can you believe that ?
Only with difficulty. In my neck of the woods, women who drive Subaru
station wagons generally have hairy legs and no makeup -- and their cars
often have bumper stickers with renderings of whales or baby harp seals
on them, or slogans such as "Love Animals -- Don't Eat Them."
------
>And finally, it's the parking garage.
One thing that pisses me off about parking garages is the way people will
loiter in the lower sections and wait for someone to leave, rather than
continuing onward until they find an open space. I get really tired of
cars nipping at my heels as I return to my vehicle, and then feeling that
I have to hurry and vacate the space for their benefit.
------
>What is it with these morons ?
I wish I knew. When I figure it out, I'll tellya.
Geoff
`-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller + + + + + + + + Sun Microsystems
geo...@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM + + + + + + + + Menlo Park, California
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Laura Potler (GSFC)
>but someone on the net used the phrase "generally low situational
>awareness" to describe people who hold up lines (in reference to a
how about the grocery store buffaloes? you whip around the corner and
there in the *middle* of the aisle is one of these creatures grazing in
some remote corner of their minds. they haven't got a clue as to what's
going on around them. drives me crazy!
-l "ahem. *ahem*. *AHEM*. **HEY!!**" p
--
-lp *******************************************************************
* I don't believe them when they try to tell me life is more than *
* skin, skin, skin, skin, skin, skin deep -- Crack The Sky *
***********************************************************************
Brian Scearce
> I get really tired of cars nipping at my heels as I return to my
> vehicle, and then feeling that I have to hurry and vacate the space
> for their benefit.
Just say "no". I've sat in my car, reading a map, while one of
these parking lot vultures waited behind me.
--
Brian Scearce (b...@robin.svl.cdc.com -or- robin!b...@shamash.cdc.com)
I'm thinking about a Silicon Valley WATPUB. Am I the only one here?
Any opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect CDC corporate policy.
Geoff Miller
In article <1991Sep26....@umbc3.umbc.edu> pot...@umbc4.umbc.edu
(Laura Potler (GSFC)) writes:
>how about the grocery store buffaloes? you whip around the corner and
>there in the *middle* of the aisle is one of these creatures grazing in
>some remote corner of their minds. they haven't got a clue as to what's
>going on around them. drives me crazy!
Anyone remember the "Recumbent On a Staircase" thread from last year? This
was one of my peeves, too. How about the ones who mindlessly abandon their
shopping carts in the middle of the aisle, walk several yards away and
become mesmerized by the selection of merchandise on the shelves?
Geoff
(No .sig -- somebody must've stolen it!)
Don Baldwin
>>Well, I think it just sums up the scene beautifully. I cannot believe the
>>number of people with low SAQs that are roaming the streets, making life
>>miserable for the few of us who are normal...
>
>It's astounding that more of these people aren't run over by buses, isn't
>it?
>
>Peeve: The way the bus companies and bus manufacturers refuse to call buses
> "buses." For some reason, they insist on calling them "coaches."
> Well, excuuuuuse me! Uh, I believe that a "coach" is a type of
> horse-drawn wagon, not a motor vehicle.
The word "coach" has many meanings, you left-leaning, bunny-hugging
neo-nazi. It can also mean the guy who "coached" your softball team.
Or do they have sports where you come from, you miserable yuppie spawn...
>------
>
>>Take today. I'm driving in to work, and I'm in the middle lane
>>of a 3 lane highway. A little ahead of me, and in the right lane,
>>is a woman in a Volvo wagon.
>
>Obviously, a left-leaning yuppie. Was this Volvo wagon equipped with a
>baby seat and a circular "A New Way Of Thinking -- Beyond War" sticker?
>I thought so. This wasn't in Palo Alto, was it?
Sounds like you're talking about yourself...else, a case of envy from
an arterosclerotic aging Conservative, who's just BEGINNING to get the
idea that there's more to life than planning yet another hostile
takeover. Reaganite puke.
>------
>
>>Well, guess what happens next. I get off the highway and I'm at a
>>4 way stop. In front of me is another station wagon (a Subaru
>>this time).
>
>Obviously a bunny hugger; for reasons that I have yet to determine, the
>Subaru station wagon has replaced the VW microbus as the vehicle of choice
>among the politically correct.
More self-hatred tranferred to the "Politically Correct". Who's your
favorite author, Geoff? Tell me it isn't Ayn Rand...
>------
>
>>What is it with these morons ?
>
>I wish I knew. When I figure it out, I'll tellya.
Tell us, oh wise one...
don
Stephen Graham
The absolute worst cart miscreants are those who let their seven year olds
"drive" the cart. Mom just spaces out in front while the kid runs into
everything and everyone in sight "But Junior is so hhhhaaapppyyyyy with
the cart!!!"
Pardon me, lady, while I introduce the produce section to your nasal
cavity.
--
Stephen Graham
gra...@cs.washington.edu uw-beaver!june!graham
(206) 543-8115
Geoff Miller
In article <1991Sep26.1...@beaver.cs.washington.edu> gra...@cs.washington.edu (Stephen Graham) writes:
>The absolute worst cart miscreants are those who let their seven year olds
>"drive" the cart. Mom just spaces out in front while the kid runs into
>everything and everyone in sight "But Junior is so hhhhaaapppyyyyy with
>the cart!!!"
The safety craze that this country is currently obsessed with has recently
infiltrated the Lucky market where I shop. Get this -- the little
kiddie seats in the shopping carts are now equipped with *seat belts!*
Not only that, but the store recently started offering store-to-car service
by a designated bagger on each shift, and he wears a day-glo orange *reflective
vest* -- simply because his job involves walking across a frigging parking
lot.
Where will this crap end? I don't know about you folks, but I've had the
shakes all morning after taking my life into my own hands with that double-
edged Gilette Atra razor this morning. And then I had to *walk down stairs*
to get to the garage, which contains substances known to the state of Calif-
ornia to cause cancer and birth defects. After backing my car out, I came
perilously close to conking myself on the noggin with the garage door! Well,
not really, but it was well within the realm of possibility. And then, I
drove my small Japanese automobile eight miles to work among an assortment
of much larger vehicles. My car has no air bags, and I dared to make this
journey sans Nomex driving suit and DOT-approved crash helmet. We were all
driving at speeds in excess of a mile a minute, and for all I know, someone
in an adjacent car might've been getting *blown* -- and as we all know, coming
and going don't mix.
Michael Hart
>In article <59...@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geo...@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Geoff Miller) writes:
Ooooh, Geoff! Let's pull up the sports stuff from earlier this year. This one
sounds like a jock who thinks that everything on the planet is just a support
activity for sports.
>The word "coach" has many meanings, you left-leaning, bunny-hugging
>neo-nazi. It can also mean the guy who "coached" your softball team.
Or, "coach" could mean the instructions I gave to your girlfriend/wife
while you were out of town.
"That's right babe, like that. Now, run your teeth over .... Oooh, good.
Now, get on all fours..."
Let's just say she made the team.
>Or do they have sports where you come from, you miserable yuppie spawn...
GAWD, what a miserable deprived life it would be, not having organized sports.
The only worse fate I can think of would be not having chewable, flavored
tampons.
>idea that there's more to life than planning yet another hostile
>takeover. Reaganite puke.
I sense a little hostility here. Could this world saving, "let's destroy
all businesses, cause business is bad, let's give all the scumbums and
lowlifes all the financial support they need, not to mention all the
minority types who shouldn't have to work, cause someone in their family
was discriminated against 400 years ago, and let's make sure that
all those serial rapists and killers and those nice inner-city kids who
do all that random violence get some good touchy-feely therapy, I mean
after all, it's SOCIETY's fault that they killed 14 people who didn't like
the color of his shoes, it's not his fault, not to mention of which most
of the troubles of this nation and the world can be directly traced to
some middle class white male and his conspiratorial policies and beliefs"
Democrat be upset?
Tuff shit.
>>------
>>
>>>Well, guess what happens next. I get off the highway and I'm at a
>>>4 way stop. In front of me is another station wagon (a Subaru
>>>this time).
>>
>>Obviously a bunny hugger; for reasons that I have yet to determine, the
>>Subaru station wagon has replaced the VW microbus as the vehicle of choice
>>among the politically correct.
>More self-hatred tranferred to the "Politically Correct". Who's your
>favorite author, Geoff? Tell me it isn't Ayn Rand...
>>------
>>
>>>What is it with these morons ?
>>
>>I wish I knew. When I figure it out, I'll tellya.
>Tell us, oh wise one...
> don
--
| Michael G. Hart Internet: ha...@blackjack.dt.navy.mil |
| AmericaOnLine: MikelHart |
|====================================================================|
| ----> I want to make a difference at DTRC! <---- |
Michael Hart
>In article <181...@unix.cis.pitt.edu> gun...@unix.cis.pitt.edu (Jayant Rajgopal) writes:
>>That's Situational Awareness Quotient. I'm not sure who it was,
>>but someone on the net used the phrase "generally low situational
>>awareness" to describe people who hold up lines (in reference to a
>how about the grocery store buffaloes? you whip around the corner and
>there in the *middle* of the aisle is one of these creatures grazing in
>some remote corner of their minds. they haven't got a clue as to what's
>going on around them. drives me crazy!
>-l "ahem. *ahem*. *AHEM*. **HEY!!**" p
Yes, you really have to wonder where some of these people are as they're
standing there drooling. Maybe they've just 'shut off' for a little
while?
I generally give 'em about 4 seconds, then I pull their cart/wagon/basket
(pick one, depending on your geography) out of the way. Sometimes I'll try
to push it as far down the aisle as I can get it before their imitation
consciousness snaps too. _THAT's_ always good for a glare or two as they
retrieve their cart.
Another good glare-inducer is to say "Hey! Pay attention!" as you walk
by.
'Course, it's one of those pleasures that is really just internal, like telling
a great cut joke to someone who just _DOES NOT_ understand it, or know that
they are the target. You know, you kinda get a blank stare, or one of those
little half-smiles back?
Vicci Varner
here ...] deserve to be left idling. They block traffic, irritate every-
one, and pollute the environment. They are high on my list of people
who deserve a special place in Hell.
While working on my Masters degree, I would usually have to come to school
early and stay late. I would often leave text books in my car which (being
early) was always in a prime parking spot. The vulture would see me come
from the building and spring into action. I'd walk slowly to the car,
fumble in my large purse for my keys (which were actually in my pocket),
unlock the door, get in, fool with both mirrors, brush my hair, fool with
the mirrors again, put on my seat belt, reach into the back seat, get my
book, check the mirrors, unbuckle my seat belt, get out of the car, and walk
slowly back to the building, chuckling as I listened to the gnashing of
the vulture's beak.
What a great feeling.
--
Vicci Varner
University of Texas at Arlington
vi...@cse.uta.edu
Mike Stangel
>Parking lot [vultures, sharks, ... insert your favorite lowlife predator
>here ...] deserve to be left idling. They block traffic, irritate every-
>one, and pollute the environment. They are high on my list of people
>who deserve a special place in Hell.
Uh, wouldn't leaving them idling pollute the environment _more_?
Otherwise a most humorous and devious plan...
Mike
Scott Fisher
|> In article <181...@unix.cis.pitt.edu> gun...@unix.cis.pitt.edu (Jayant Rajgopal) writes:
|> >That's Situational Awareness Quotient. I'm not sure who it was,
|> >but someone on the net used the phrase "generally low situational
|> >awareness" to describe people who hold up lines (in reference to a
|>
|> how about the grocery store buffaloes? you whip around the corner and
|> there in the *middle* of the aisle is one of these creatures grazing in
|> some remote corner of their minds. they haven't got a clue as to what's
|> going on around them. drives me crazy!
Thanks for reminding me; this is a real peeve of mine. In fact, I was
shopping about a week ago and encountered enough of these walking Claymore
mines that I started composing an imaginary posting to peeves about the
experience.
What Laura doesn't mention, though, is that often these people are
doing legitimate shopping in that aisle, but they might be miles
from their cart, which they've left in such a position as to block
all traffic in either direction. It's almost enough to make me
yell "ROOOOAD WARRIORRRRR!", back up the cart, and start running at
the offending cart at top speed, scattering jars of Heinz 57 Pickled
Beets With Mini-Marshmallows in all directions on impact. Never in
the shops close to home, but the next time I'm in a strange town,
man, it's Mad Max Meets Supermarket Sweeps.
Then there's the two carts parked next to each other blockade. I
mean, it doesn't take a master's degree in Rocket Science to figure
out that if you park your cart RIGHT SMACK UP NEXT TO someone else's
going the other way, no one can get around you! I used to feel
uncomfortable pushing someone else's cart out of the way; now I
look carefuly around and politely reach down to nudge it out of the
direct line of travel (unless, of course, the Kallikak who is operating
this complicated vehicle is standing in front of it, comparing the
ingredients list of every variety of whatever they're shopping for,
or looking for bugs in the jar, or whatever it is that is taking
them ALL GODDAMN DAY in front of me.)
In my imaginary posting, though, I started off on a tangent about
the observation that most of the clueless dorks who parked their
carts at a diagonal were women. Now, of course, being an Enlightened
Individual, I began imagining a long apologia about how surely it was
just that most shoppers happen to be women (though I will admit that
in *my* family, my wife does this cart business ALL THE TIME and it
embarrasses me no end to shop with her, since I make a point always
to leave room for a cart to pass when I have to scan the shelves for
my purchases).
About three sentences into imagining the reams of feminist screeds
that would be engendered by the hordes of repressed lesbians with
poor reading abilities who seem to hang out on Usenet as though it
was an alternative bookstore-cum-coffeehouse (and wondering whether
purposely trying to engender same would be more amusing), I turned the
corner and screeched to a halt behind some guy who'd done the same thing.
Yup, it's as I've always suspected: idiocy is no respecter of sex,
race, creed, color, or shopping habits. Stupidity is an Equal
Opportunity Affliction.
I'm taking steps, though, to stop this affliction in our lifetime.
At the Safeway near home, there is a selection of little yellow toy
shopping carts, just the right size for my not-quite-four-year-old
daughter to push. When we have to stop in the store, I pointedly
tell her, "Now, be sure to put your cart out of the way so that
other people can get past you in the aisle." Maybe if I say it
loudly enough and often enough, others will get a clue.
Though I doubt it.
--
I'm deadly serious about that -- that's not a gratuitous insult.
--Geoff Miller
Geoff Miller
In a worthy and admirable rant-screed, (Don Baldwin) succeeds in luring me
into the fray:
>The word "coach" has many meanings, you left-leaning, bunny-hugging
>neo-nazi. It can also mean the guy who "coached" your softball team.
>Or do they have sports where you come from, you miserable yuppie spawn...
Sports? Well, just tennis, polo, hiking, the usual. None of that rough,
mindless blue-collar stuff like football or baseball. That's quite below
the station of white-collar computer professionals from the Peninsula.
Who do you think you're addressing, some grease-stained, beer-bellied prole
from Campbell or San Jose? Feh.
------
>Sounds like you're talking about yourself...else, a case of envy from
>an arterosclerotic aging Conservative, who's just BEGINNING to get the
>idea that there's more to life than planning yet another hostile
>takeover. Reaganite puke.
In your case, it'd be more of a contemptuous, barely-worth-the-effort
condescending takeover, after which I'd feel soiled and in need of a
shower. Incidentally, I'm glad that you saw fit to capitalize "Conservative."
It shows that in spite of your hostility toward your betters, you still in
fact remember your place.
------
>More self-hatred tranferred to the "Politically Correct". Who's your
>favorite author, Geoff? Tell me it isn't Ayn Rand...
I've been Ayn Randed -- nearly branded a communist for being left-handed.
That's the hand to use!
Well, never mind...
------
>Tell us, oh wise one...
Take a number and stand in line like everyone else, Binker. I don't dispense
enlightenment to unruly mobs of Democrats. Order; we must have *order.*
Rows and columns, people. Don't try my patience, lest I pop your little
heads like overripe zits.
Elaine Richards
>infiltrated the Lucky market where I shop. Get this -- the little
>kiddie seats in the shopping carts are now equipped with *seat belts!*
I was in a store a few years ago where a very busy mom did not see her
kid stand up in the kiddie seat and take a header - I mean, this brat
*dove* like Johnny Weismuller into a tropical pool - onto the hard
linoleum over concrete floor. That kid set up the most hellacious screaming.
I have never seen a child do something so destructive to itself and
the poor bedraggled mother had no way of knowing this was coming.
So, I have no objection to tying the brat down into the kiddie seat.
Its the resultant screaming that I objected to.
ER
Doug S. Caprette Bldg. 28 W191 x3892
>
>how about the grocery store buffaloes? you whip around the corner and
>there in the *middle* of the aisle is one of these creatures grazing in
>some remote corner of their minds. they haven't got a clue as to what's
>going on around them. drives me crazy!
>
stand next to it, on the other side of the aisle completely blocking both sides
and stare at the canned goods.
How long does it take someone to read "BEANS."
--
| Regards, | ST Systems Corporation | Code 926.9 GSFC |
| Doug Caprette | Lanham, Maryland | Greenbelt, MD 20771 |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"For though I do not ask for aid, we need it." -- Boromir son of Denethor
Don Baldwin
>In <1991Sep26....@igor.tamri.com> do...@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin) writes:
>
>Ooooh, Geoff! Let's pull up the sports stuff from earlier this year. This one
>sounds like a jock who thinks that everything on the planet is just a support
>activity for sports.
Nope. You however sound a lot like an athletic supporter that a
clap-stricken linebacker might have left in his locker, then found still
hidden there at his 10 year reunion.
>>The word "coach" has many meanings, you left-leaning, bunny-hugging
>>neo-nazi. It can also mean the guy who "coached" your softball team.
>
>Or, "coach" could mean the instructions I gave to your girlfriend/wife
>while you were out of town.
>"That's right babe, like that. Now, run your teeth over .... Oooh, good.
>Now, get on all fours..."
>
>Let's just say she made the team.
Hmmm, I think you must be mistaken. Since the accident, my fiancee hasn't
had any teeth and her arm and legs (total 3, not 4) aren't quite as long
as they used to be.
However, you do sound a LOT like someone our friend Vince met in City
Lights and went home with. Are you, by any chance, ambidextrous? If
so, let me know, he was worried that he might've left scars...the guy
he met just didn't know when to quit...
>>idea that there's more to life than planning yet another hostile
>>takeover. Reaganite puke.
>
>I sense a little hostility here. Could this world saving, "let's destroy
>all businesses, cause business is bad, let's give all the scumbums and
>lowlifes all the financial support they need, not to mention all the
>minority types who shouldn't have to work, cause someone in their family
>was discriminated against 400 years ago, and let's make sure that
>all those serial rapists and killers and those nice inner-city kids who
>do all that random violence get some good touchy-feely therapy, I mean
>after all, it's SOCIETY's fault that they killed 14 people who didn't like
>the color of his shoes, it's not his fault, not to mention of which most
>of the troubles of this nation and the world can be directly traced to
>some middle class white male and his conspiratorial policies and beliefs"
>Democrat be upset?
>
>Tuff shit.
BZZZTTT! Wrong again. You're 0 for 3 now, Mikey!
Nope, it would take an unlobotomized poster to make me upset. Write me
again, AFTER you've taken your medication.
>| Michael G. Hart Internet: ha...@blackjack.dt.navy.mil |
>| AmericaOnLine: MikelHart |
>|====================================================================|
>| ----> I want to make a difference at DTRC! <---- |
HAH! Brown-nosing again, Mikey? I'm sure you'll work it out so your
boss sees your .sig line.
I'm sorry to tell you this...but if you left today, they wouldn't
remember you next year. You won't make a difference because, with
the level of logical analysis you've shown in your posting, they
probably have to re-write every line of code you write anyway.
But hey, cross your fingers. Miracles DO happen!
don
Don Baldwin
>into the fray:
>
>>The word "coach" has many meanings, you left-leaning, bunny-hugging
>>neo-nazi. It can also mean the guy who "coached" your softball team.
>>Or do they have sports where you come from, you miserable yuppie spawn...
>
>Sports? Well, just tennis, polo, hiking, the usual. None of that rough,
>mindless blue-collar stuff like football or baseball. That's quite below
>the station of white-collar computer professionals from the Peninsula.
>Who do you think you're addressing, some grease-stained, beer-bellied prole
>from Campbell or San Jose? Feh.
ACK, I've been slimed! Imagine my dismay at having Geoff (of all
people(?)) speak condescendingly to me! Next, Jeff Dahmer will log
on and send me e-mail about dining ettiquette. Hmm, Geoff...Jeff...nah!
>------
>
>>Sounds like you're talking about yourself...else, a case of envy from
>>an arterosclerotic aging Conservative, who's just BEGINNING to get the
>>idea that there's more to life than planning yet another hostile
>>takeover. Reaganite puke.
>
>In your case, it'd be more of a contemptuous, barely-worth-the-effort
>condescending takeover, after which I'd feel soiled and in need of a
>shower. Incidentally, I'm glad that you saw fit to capitalize "Conservative."
>It shows that in spite of your hostility toward your betters, you still in
>fact remember your place.
Yeah? You just TRY to arrange a takeover, Geoffey! We were sold to the
Japanese because they offered someone like you the correct amount of
green stuff. But then, I'm sure (being cONSERVATIVE) you'd sell your
own mother to the Japanese because (for guys like you), everything is
for sale.
Hey Geoff...I hear they want Mount Rushmore next! Care to broker the sale?
>------
>
>>More self-hatred tranferred to the "Politically Correct". Who's your
>>favorite author, Geoff? Tell me it isn't Ayn Rand...
>
>I've been Ayn Randed -- nearly branded a communist for being left-handed.
>That's the hand to use!
>
>Well, never mind...
>
>------
>
>>Tell us, oh wise one...
>
>
>Take a number and stand in line like everyone else, Binker. I don't dispense
>enlightenment to unruly mobs of Democrats. Order; we must have *order.*
>Rows and columns, people. Don't try my patience, lest I pop your little
>heads like overripe zits.
Not bad...for a beginner. But I heard you were good at flaming...I
expected a Harlan Ellison or a Don Rickles. Instead, I get Archie
Bunker. Sigh.
Wanta take another shot at it?
don
Geoff Miller
In article <1991Sep28.2...@igor.tamri.com> do...@igor.tamri.com
(Don Baldwin) writes:
>ACK, I've been slimed! Imagine my dismay at having Geoff (of all
>people(?)) speak condescendingly to me! Next, Jeff Dahmer will log
>on and send me e-mail about dining ettiquette. Hmm, Geoff...Jeff...nah!
Oh, eat me.
>Not bad...for a beginner. But I heard you were good at flaming...I
>expected a Harlan Ellison or a Don Rickles. Instead, I get Archie
>Bunker. Sigh.
>Wanta take another shot at it?
Considering the quarter-end distractions I had to deal with last week, I
think I did surprisingly well.
Harlan Ellison? I thought he was a science fiction writer!
Well, I believe in satisfied customers. Let's see what happens later in the
week.
Will Bell
>there in the *middle* of the aisle is one of these creatures grazing in
>some remote corner of their minds. they haven't got a clue as to what's
>going on around them. drives me crazy!
Amen to this. I cannot stand these people who sit squat in the middle of the
aisle glaring at the 40 brands of cereal in front of them. Don't they KNOW
what kind of friggin cereal they want? Ever heard of a LIST?
I don't enjoy shopping for groceries. I zip that basket up and down the store,
systematically from Aisle 23 to Aisle 1 (Cold stuff is on aisle 1), and get
out of there as quickly as possible. I have no patience with these people
who meander around the store looking at all 9 brands of chicken soup trying
to decide which one has the least amount of sodium. GAHHH!
I especially hate it when people get rude in stores. I usually give them one
chance to move with an "Excuse me," but I will not hesitate to bump their
cart out of the way or otherwise move it if they won't. Then they start giving
me these pissed-off looks like I'M the guy who's inconveniencing THEM by
moving their cart out of the way!
And while I'm peeving, I hate it when the sackerdrones give me plastic when I
ask for paper. Invariably there will be one or two items left that they don't
feel merit their own paper bag, so they put it in a plastic bag. Why'd you
even ask me in the first place, if you're just gonna give me whatever you want?
Once I told the drone I was allergic to the dye used in the plastic. The
strange look I received back was quite satisfying :-) But I got my paper!
WBB
--
Will Bell -- be...@cs.tamu.edu
In Memory of Theodor Seuss Geisel (aka Dr. Seuss) -- 1904-1991
Join the 90210 mailing list : 90210-...@csseq.cs.tamu.edu
Larry Kessler
> infiltrated the Lucky market where I shop. Get this -- the little
> kiddie seats in the shopping carts are now equipped with *seat belts!*
with keeping the kiddie safe from multi-cart accidents or overturned carts
during races in the aisles.
Until the kid gets to be about three years old, these seat belts serve to
restrain the little kleptomaniac from standing up in the cart and tossing
stuff in there, whatever he can reach and you don't want, that you don't
discover until you've paid for it and gotten it home.
la...@sugar.neosoft.com
.sig? what .sig?
--
Russ Kepler
>Until the kid gets to be about three years old, these seat belts serve to
>restrain the little kleptomaniac from standing up in the cart and tossing
>stuff in there, whatever he can reach and you don't want, that you don't
>discover until you've paid for it and gotten it home.
This is the reason Ghod made bungie cords. A couple of the little
ones whipped around the kid in the cart and you're set for a few hours
of carefree shopping.
They work great to hold the little tyke to the roof on the way home as
well.
Enjoy!
--
Russ Kepler - Basis Int'l SNAIL: 5901 Jefferson NE, Albuquerque, NM 87109
UUCP: bbx.basis.com!russ PHONE: 505-345-5232
Don Baldwin
>(Don Baldwin) writes:
>
>>ACK, I've been slimed! Imagine my dismay at having Geoff (of all
>>people(?)) speak condescendingly to me! Next, Jeff Dahmer will log
>>on and send me e-mail about dining ettiquette. Hmm, Geoff...Jeff...nah!
>
>Oh, eat me.
Wow, a master wordsmith at work! :-)
>>Not bad...for a beginner. But I heard you were good at flaming...I
>>expected a Harlan Ellison or a Don Rickles. Instead, I get Archie
>>Bunker. Sigh.
>
>>Wanta take another shot at it?
>
>Considering the quarter-end distractions I had to deal with last week, I
>think I did surprisingly well.
?
>Harlan Ellison? I thought he was a science fiction writer!
And a fine one.
He's also, when it's appropriate, the most mercilessly abrasive person
you could EVER have going up against you. Worse than the flaying death
from Hellraiser.
>Well, I believe in satisfied customers. Let's see what happens later in the
>week.
I await your convenience; you know where to find me. In the meantime, I'll
be off in the corner, sharpening my blades, applying citric acid to the
edges and muttering incantations...
don
no user serviceable parts inside
>In article <hart.685967281@blackjack> ha...@blackjack.dt.navy.mil (Michael Hart) writes:
>Nope. You however sound a lot like an athletic supporter that a
>clap-stricken linebacker might have left in his locker, then found still
>hidden there at his 10 year reunion.
The only difference being that it's now covered with your tooth marks
and saliva, right? I'm sorry Don, but this doesn't even approach the
level of grotesque imagery we're accustommed to. I would bet that
Laura didn't even wince at this one. Your smarmy, sacharrine spew is
like a beam of warm sunshine on a heap of maggot ridden carrion and
feces found several feet into a dank cave. I will give you credit
for supplying several underclassmen with a new insult for their
roomies, though.
>Hmmm, I think you must be mistaken. Since the accident, my fiancee hasn't
>had any teeth and her arm and legs (total 3, not 4) aren't quite as long
>as they used to be.
Your "fiancee" must be foam-filled, as the inflatable ones are
difficult to patch and wouldn't hold air after such an incident. I
doubt Michael panted "I'm gonna hurt ya, bitch" to a heap of flesh-
tone plastic with a stump of open-cell foam in place of a left arm
that was impaled on "Mount Baldwin."
>Nope, it would take an unlobotomized poster to make me upset. Write me
>again, AFTER you've taken your medication.
Ooo, the Duckman has such sharp, cutting wit, doesn't he? Tell me,
exactly what medication does one administer to a clap-strikened
linebacker's jock strap. This has me puzzled. Wait, I figured it
out. This another one of your shallow, meaningless insults, isn't it?
Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk! I get it! Don, why don't you take a breather and
come back AFTER you can demonstrate you're something more than a
sexually repressed hanger-on wannabe with wit comparable to a
bowl of unsalted popcorn, but possibly less flavor. We're all sure
you're a very even tempered guy with nerves of cold molasses. You
obviously fancy yourself a fairly sharp guy, but I've only been back
from vacation two days and I'm already bored with you.
>>| ----> I want to make a difference at DTRC! <---- |
>
>HAH! Brown-nosing again, Mikey? I'm sure you'll work it out so your
>boss sees your .sig line.
Oh, it's nice to see that you obviously have a lot of pride in the
work you do, too. You must be a highly valued asset to *your*
company.
>But hey, cross your fingers. Miracles DO happen!
You would mean something like a reply from you that wasn't
non-sequitur adhominem comments? My fingers would get tired waiting.
andy
ba...@abingdon.sun.com
--
"Now go on... prove to us your quality of manhood. Why don't you go
float over Niagara Falls in a barrel with your needle dick poking out
a knothole? I'll go call the newspapers."
-- Allen Gwinn
Cheeses K. Reist
>Not bad...for a beginner. But I heard you were good at flaming...I
>expected a Harlan Ellison or a Don Rickles. Instead, I get Archie
>Bunker. Sigh.
>Wanta take another shot at it?
You "heard I was good at flaming." What are you, some hired gun recruited
from another newsgroup to come clean up the karma in Artful Dodge City?
Did some puling whiner whom I flamed come running up to you and ask you
to have a go at me, because he wasn't up to the task himself? Or were you
just bored? Personally, there's nothing that terrifies me more than the
thought of being stalked by you Wild Nihilist Lone Rider of the Apocalypse
Last Moped out of Nowhere City keyboard weenies.
Listen, Donnie-boy, I've humored you thus far, much like the way one might
humor a drunken 98-pound weakling with ambitions of pugilistic domination.
But the actual fact of the matter is that We Don't Like You Here. You are
not intimidating, nor even humorous -- not even in a pathetic, embarrassing
way. Your attempts to bluster your way in here like some kind of honking
bull goose would be quite funny were they not so annoying. You're way out
of your depth here, as you would be anywhere the sidewalk was wet. Go back
to ba.politics where people are willing to take you seriously.
You, sir, are the poster child for post-natal abortion on demand.
-- bandy
Geoff
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller + "There's no turning back from a penile
geo...@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM + implant." - Dr. June Reinisch, Kinsey Inst.
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Nosy
Creating a warm glow in alt.peeves, geo...@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM
(Cheeses K. Reist) writes:
[reproof deleted]
> Go back to ba.politics where people are willing to take you seriously.
ObPeeve: I've seen this group on crosspostings to
talk.politics.misc and other groups which seem to exist
mainly for various loonies to rant/rave/foam on as
a soapbox, but I dunno what ba.politics is and it's
starting to bother me that I may be missing another source
of amusement.
I admit that the amusement in question may be of a low
quality, akin to watching the monkies at the zoo hurling
rotton fruit at children, but that's not the point.
So, what IS ba.politics; a group for demanding more "rights"
for sheep and their "dates" to "party", or what?
>Geoff Miller + "There's no turning back from a penile
>geo...@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM + implant." - Dr. June Reinisch, Kinsey Inst.
Wouldn't want to delete such a fine, upstanding .sig.
Ken Shirriff
>> Go back to ba.politics where people are willing to take you seriously.
ba.politics is a newsgroup for the San Francisco *B*ay *A*rea. You're
unlikely to be able (or want) to read it if you don't live here.
ObPeeve: People whose idea of a witty posting is: "No wonder you hold
opinion X; you're from Berkeley." I could understand that if I said we
should all wear tie-dye and live in harmony through crystals, but I've
received that reply for such things as supporting patent laws -- surely
patent laws are not just a Berkeley thing.
ObPeeve2: The streets around here, which are in slightly worse condition
than the average Iraqi runway.
Ken Shirriff shir...@sprite.Berkeley.EDU
Miss Elaineous
>In article <ATAYLOR.91...@karnaugh.nmsu.edu> ata...@nmsu.edu (Nosy) writes:
>ObPeeve: People whose idea of a witty posting is: "No wonder you hold
>opinion X; you're from Berkeley." I could understand that if I said we
>should all wear tie-dye and live in harmony through crystals, but I've
>received that reply for such things as supporting patent laws -- surely
>patent laws are not just a Berkeley thing.
They are just jealous because they do not live in Berkeley and have
to cross a bridge to get to Chez Panisse.
Erudite answers to questions raised in patent law are a Boalt Hall
kinda thang. They just don't understand.
>
>ObPeeve2: The streets around here, which are in slightly worse condition
>than the average Iraqi runway.
You must live on Cedar Street. They have chuckholes there that can swallow
whole buses. They did repave Milvia by putting wiggle waggles of concrete
that cut street parking in half. They also put speed bumps there so that
folks with low clearance can drag their mufflers noisily across them
with lots of sparks.
Peeve: Berkeley mayor Loni Han(d)cock, who is more interested in saving
the Third World from Berkeley than in addressing riots on Telegraph
Avenue.
See y'all at Cody's. I'm the one in tye dye holding my trashed muffler
while hordes of rioters stream by screaming about patent law.
ER
To the Ground
> Amen to this. I cannot stand these people who sit squat in the middle of the
> aisle glaring at the 40 brands of cereal in front of them. Don't they KNOW
> what kind of friggin cereal they want? Ever heard of a LIST?
There are at least three algorithms you can use when shopping at a supermarket.
Algorithm 1:
Make a list of things you want to buy. Go down the list item by item.
For each item on the list, find the item in the supermarket and put it in
the trolley/basket. This is the algorithm I see students using in town.
(*sigh*)
Algorithm 2:
Make a list of things you want to buy. Walk through the supermarket. In
each area, look gormlessly at the list searching for things which might
be in the current area of the shop. Put said items in the trolley/basket
and cross them off the list. When you get to the end of the supermarket,
switch to algorithm 1.
Algorithm 3:
Walk through the supermarket. Look at the things you pass, and decide if
you want any of them. If so, pick whichever brand you like best and put
it in the basket.
Algorithm 1 is a disaster. Algorithm 2 is slightly better. Algorithm 3
is the best in my opinion:
Advantages:
- You get to buy things not on the list which you decide on impulse that
you have a burning desire for.
- Less effort than any of the other algorithms - no lists, a minimum
amount of walking.
- You don't waste time looking for things the supermarket doesn't have.
- You don't get confused if the supermarket has things in unexpected
places.
Disadvantages:
- You spend more money.
- You have to be able to choose between different flavours and brands of
food product quickly, or else you end up looking gormless. If you're
picky this isn't a problem.
Other optimizations:
1. Not eating meat allows me to cut out an entire aisle.
2. Not drinking alcohol allows me to cut out half an aisle.
3. Start by walking to the opposite corner of the shop from the entrance,
then work back so that you end up right next to the entrance once you've
collected the goods. If the exit's near the entrance, you have less
distance to walk; and more subtly, the cattle with their screaming kids
tend to start at the entrance and work their way to the other end of the
shop, and hence are unlikely to walk all the way back in order to queue.
Hence shorter queues for you to stand in.
mathew
[Allan H. Evans
Peeve: Algorithms one and two.
Shopping methods:
> Algorithm 1:
Function_Zombie(groceries_on_list)
double groceries_on_list;
{
int i;
for(i=0;i<groceries_on_list;i++) {
look();
get();
}
buy();
exit(0);
}
> Algorithm 2:
Function_Gorm(groceries_on_list,hell)
double groceries_on_list;
int hell;
{
int i;
do {
look();
i = random();
if(i==1) get();
} while(hell>0);
Function_Zombie(groceries_on_list);
buy();
exit(0);
}
> Algorithm 3:
Nah... avoid meat and alcohol and you will disappear into a new-age
sensitive froth that can be easily washed down the drain.
The REAL Algorithm 3 (not for vege-weiners):
Function_Shop(groceries_on_list,hell,hunger_quotient)
double groceries_on_list;
int hell;
double hunger_quotient;
{
int i,wallet;
char *food,*munchies;
groceries_on_list = 0;
hell = NULL; /* ? */
strcpy(munchies,"munchies");
if(shopper==VEGHEAD) flush(veghead);
if(shopper!=BOOZER) {
smoke(weed_buds);
printf("\n Now the bastard is going to feel like food...\n");
}
if(hunger_quotient>99) {
food = look();
if( strcmp(munchies,food) == 0 ) {
for(i=0;i<1000000;i++) get();
}
else {
for(i=0;i<100;i++) get();
}
}
else {
for(i=0;i<50;i++) get();
}
wallet = buy();
if( wallet < 0 ) mastercard();
look();
exit(666);
}
______________________________________________________________________________
| Allan H. Evans * School of Geography * UNSW * PO Box 1 Kensington 2033 |
| all...@earth.gas.unsw.oz.au ************* all...@saturn.gas.unsw.oz.au |
Ian G Batten
> There are at least three algorithms you can use when shopping at a supermarket.
ObPeeve: People who complain about the decline of local shops caused by
the ubiquity of the supermarket, and then shop at supermarkets.
ian
Don Baldwin
Seems like, if that was the reason for having the set belts, Lucky
WOULDN'T have them. In fact, I can imagine them having no seat belts
and putting Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and Kermit the frog on all
the most expensive items. To lure the little rug rats into dropping
them in the cart.
"Look dear! Muppets Caviar. Is this yours?"
don
Alexander Vrchoticky
>The REAL Algorithm 3 (not for vege-weiners):
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
it isn't for programmers either ...
>[...]
>char *food,*munchies;
>[...]
>strcpy(munchies,"munchies");
>[...]
waiting till the dust settles, then ...
peeve: the permanent mis-spelling of the name of this city.
if you feel that instead of calling a dickhead a dickhead you want to
call him a sausage named after a european city at least get the name right!
it's `wiener', not `weiner'.
-alex (you are what you eat)
--
Alexander Vrchoticky | al...@vmars.tuwien.ac.at
TU Vienna, CS/Real-Time Systems | +43/222/58801-8168
"cause all of this is built on lies and lies and lies and lies and lies ..."
Don Baldwin
Don Baldwin
>Reminding me of menstruating skunks' anuses, (Don Baldwin) writes:
>>In article <hart.685967281@blackjack> ha...@blackjack.dt.navy.mil (Michael Hart) writes:
>>Nope. You however sound a lot like an athletic supporter that a
>>clap-stricken linebacker might have left in his locker, then found still
>>hidden there at his 10 year reunion.
>
>The only difference being that it's now covered with your tooth marks
>and saliva, right? I'm sorry Don, but this doesn't even approach the
>level of grotesque imagery we're accustommed to. I would bet that
>Laura didn't even wince at this one. Your smarmy, sacharrine spew is
>like a beam of warm sunshine on a heap of maggot ridden carrion and
>feces found several feet into a dank cave. I will give you credit
>for supplying several underclassmen with a new insult for their
>roomies, though.
Please allow me to point out that skunks' anuses typically do not
menstruate. However, they do bleed when penetrated by large tubular
objects; thus, they would be quite safe around you. Though I'm sure
you still make them quite nervous...
And if my imagery wasn't quite grotesque enough for you, then I guess
I'll have have to turn the abuse up a notch...although I hesitate to do
so, as Sun (however little they may value your individual contribution)
is probably not too fond of finding its employees with their heads
bobbing about in the john, having drowned themselves in despair.
You foolish little tit! By the time I finish like you, you will be
reminiscent of an albino Yogoslav, strangled into severe retardation,
every bone in your body broken, rhino shit-laden pungee stakes driven
into your every orifice and joint, tied to a 3 week dead horse and
left in Union Square.
If it's a flame war you want, you pathetic simpering little excuse for
a jerkoff remnant, then it's a flame war you'll get. We can even use
your hobby (suck-starting Harleys) as the topic, if it will give your
self-esteem enough of a boost to amuse me.
>>Hmmm, I think you must be mistaken. Since the accident, my fiancee hasn't
>>had any teeth and her arm and legs (total 3, not 4) aren't quite as long
>>as they used to be.
>
>Your "fiancee" must be foam-filled, as the inflatable ones are
>difficult to patch and wouldn't hold air after such an incident. I
>doubt Michael panted "I'm gonna hurt ya, bitch" to a heap of flesh-
>tone plastic with a stump of open-cell foam in place of a left arm
>that was impaled on "Mount Baldwin."
At least you have the "Mount Baldwin" part right. Don't get any funny
ideas though: I'm not a pederastic jackal like you.
>>Nope, it would take an unlobotomized poster to make me upset. Write me
>>again, AFTER you've taken your medication.
>
>Ooo, the Duckman has such sharp, cutting wit, doesn't he? Tell me,
>exactly what medication does one administer to a clap-strikened
>linebacker's jock strap. This has me puzzled. Wait, I figured it
>out. This another one of your shallow, meaningless insults, isn't it?
>Hyuk, hyuk, hyuk! I get it! Don, why don't you take a breather and
>come back AFTER you can demonstrate you're something more than a
>sexually repressed hanger-on wannabe with wit comparable to a
>bowl of unsalted popcorn, but possibly less flavor. We're all sure
>you're a very even tempered guy with nerves of cold molasses. You
>obviously fancy yourself a fairly sharp guy, but I've only been back
>from vacation two days and I'm already bored with you.
Back from Jersey already, eh? Are all the freeway exits still there?
Autumn in Pasckataway can be magic, can't it?
>>>| ----> I want to make a difference at DTRC! <---- |
>>
>>HAH! Brown-nosing again, Mikey? I'm sure you'll work it out so your
>>boss sees your .sig line.
>
>Oh, it's nice to see that you obviously have a lot of pride in the
>work you do, too. You must be a highly valued asset to *your*
>company.
Oh my, a serious career employee! Probably jkust out of school to, as
you can't tell the difference between job enthusiasm and sucking up
to the boss. Although, for you, there may not BE a difference.
don
To the Ground
> In article <TJZ791...@mantis.co.uk> mat...@mantis.co.uk (To the Ground) wr
>
> the ubiquity of the supermarket, and then shop at supermarkets.
The supermarkets *are* my local shop. They're small supermarkets,
admittedly...
mathew
Kirk to Enterprise -- beam down yeoman Rand and a six-pack.
>Other optimizations:
>1. Not eating meat allows me to cut out an entire aisle.
Communist.
>2. Not drinking alcohol allows me to cut out half an aisle.
Pervert.
If you get out to People's Berkeley, look me up and I'll take you to a
supermarket with two-aisle hooch asile.
--
real address: ba...@catnip.berkeley.ca.us
last choice: lll-winken!catnip.berkeley.ca.us!bandy
Kirk to Enterprise -- beam down yeoman Rand and a six-pack.
>They are just jealous because they do not live in Berkeley and have
>to cross a bridge to get to Chez Panisse.
"Cheese Penis"
ObPeeve:
People who object to my reading material.
Michael Hart
>In article <1991Oct1.0...@Sugar.NeoSoft.com> la...@Sugar.NeoSoft.com (Larry Kessler) writes re safety belts in shopping carts:
>>Until the kid gets to be about three years old, these seat belts serve to
>>restrain the little kleptomaniac from standing up in the cart and tossing
>>stuff in there, whatever he can reach and you don't want, that you don't
>>discover until you've paid for it and gotten it home.
>This is the reason Ghod made bungie cords. A couple of the little
>ones whipped around the kid in the cart and you're set for a few hours
>of carefree shopping.
Course, you could also install them (the bungie cords, not the kids) in
a slightly different configuration.
I think it would be immensely amusing to walk through the grocery store
seeing the little tykes doing bungie diving from the heights of the
carts!
I imagine that since they'd be diving from about 3 feet rather than 300+ feet,
that the tolerance on the length of the cord _might_ have to be a little
tighter.
"Watch Mom!"
"Wheeeeeeee
eee
eee
eee
eee!"
THUD
(sproinnggnngngng)
THUD
(sproinnggnngngng)
THUDTHUDTHUD
--
| Michael G. Hart Internet: ha...@blackjack.dt.navy.mil |
| AmericaOnLine: MikelHart |
|====================================================================|
Scott Jeffrey
>Not realizing the little slice of Hell he's letting himself in for,
>ba...@abingdon.Eng.Sun.COM AKA Bantum-weight writes:
>>Reminding me of menstruating skunks' anuses, (Don Baldwin) writes:
>>>In article <hart.685967281@blackjack> ha...@blackjack.dt.navy.mil (Michael Hart) writes:
Um, I read this group fairly regularly, but I can't for the life of
me figger out what started all this.
ObPeeve: After my wife has a sewing session, I will invariably find an
overlooked needle on the floor (sometimes I'll find it the hard way). And
while I'm at it, she'll leave those little plastic thingies that hold
price tags onto new clothing around the house after she's cut them off.
Grrr. [a mild grrr - I love her anyway.]
scooter
--
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# sco...@hirgon.hw.stratus.com Flat Flip Flies Straight #
# "I don't care if my lettuce has DDT on it; as long as it's crisp" #
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no user serviceable parts inside
>Not realizing the little slice of Hell he's letting himself in for,
>Bantum-weight writes:
>>Reminding me of menstruating skunks' anuses, (Don Baldwin) writes:
What is this "little slice of Hell" you're refering to? Are you
going to bombard me with my own article as punishment? Boy, you sure
are one tought customer, binker.
Go home.
andy
ba...@abingdon.sun.com
--
I was on Alex's show the other day, and this woman calls in
and asks, "What's the difference between a hamster and a ger-
bil?" So I said "I'm pretty sure there's more dark meat on a
hamster." --- Bob Goldthwaite
no user serviceable parts inside
|>menstruate. However, they do bleed when penetrated by large tubular
|>objects; thus, they would be quite safe around you. Though I'm sure
|>you still make them quite nervous...
Wow, Donny. You managed to actually *write* something the second
time around. We're impressed. Given time, you'll probably be able
to overcome the constant string of drool falling off your jaw and the
occasional bedwetting, as well. Second try. Not bad for a rank
neophyte.
|>And if my imagery wasn't quite grotesque enough for you, then I guess
|>I'll have have to turn the abuse up a notch...although I hesitate to do
|>so, as Sun (however little they may value your individual contribution)
|>is probably not too fond of finding its employees with their heads
|>bobbing about in the john, having drowned themselves in despair.
|>
|>You foolish little tit! By the time I finish like you, you will be
|>reminiscent of an albino Yogoslav, strangled into severe retardation,
|>every bone in your body broken, rhino shit-laden pungee stakes driven
|>into your every orifice and joint, tied to a 3 week dead horse and
|>left in Union Square.
|>
|>If it's a flame war you want, you pathetic simpering little excuse for
|>a jerkoff remnant, then it's a flame war you'll get. We can even use
|>your hobby (suck-starting Harleys) as the topic, if it will give your
|>self-esteem enough of a boost to amuse me.
Pretty sad. You lay three paragraphs on me describing my impending
doom, and your best tactic so far is name calling with rehashed,
refried phrases. "simpering little excuse?" "jerkoff remnant?"
"suck-starting Harleys?" These aren't original, Donny. Nor are they
vivid, colorful, entertaining, or terribly witty. Oh, and make no
mistake: I didn't feel insulted by them either, considering their
source.
So cmon, Donny. Lay it on me. Flame me. Reduce me to a pile of
cinders in my seat. Either make good on your promise, or piss off.
I said it before, I'll say it again: You're boring.
|>At least you have the "Mount Baldwin" part right. Don't get any funny
|>ideas though: I'm not a pederastic jackal like you.
Oh, your penile immensity is overpowering when you're sitting miles
away staring at your adm3a. It's been duly noted that you
successfully joined the words "pederastic" and "jackal" all by
yourself. I'll mail you a lollipop for your effort.
>Oh my, a serious career employee! Probably jkust out of school to, as
>you can't tell the difference between job enthusiasm and sucking up
>to the boss. Although, for you, there may not BE a difference.
Yeah, Donny. I completed kindergarten last week. It doesn't change
the fact that if wit were knees, you wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
The allusions to being prone on the boss's desk were retired several
years ago, being so stale at that time that nobody paid any
attention. Maybe you can go hire someone with an imagination. Until
that time, I wouldn't count on your career as flamer-extraordinaire
to get off the ground. Shrieking harpies don't go far in the group.
Don Baldwin
>You "heard I was good at flaming." What are you, some hired gun recruited
>from another newsgroup to come clean up the karma in Artful Dodge City?
>Did some puling whiner whom I flamed come running up to you and ask you
>to have a go at me, because he wasn't up to the task himself? Or were you
>just bored? Personally, there's nothing that terrifies me more than the
>thought of being stalked by you Wild Nihilist Lone Rider of the Apocalypse
>Last Moped out of Nowhere City keyboard weenies.
Guess the correct answer:
a) Geoff is right :-), I'm a mysterious stranger who wandered into this news
group, is cleaning things up (what a bunch of pathetic whiners!) and will
some day disappear into the sunset...
b) I'm a friend of someone Geoff TRIED to flame in alt.sex.bestiality
(regarding rhino clit enlargements) and have come to extract revenge.
I'll be leaving soon.
c) A friend refered me to this news group and I'm checking it out.
Seems like fun, so you;re stuck with me for a while.
Take your time guessing, Geoff, I know you don't like complicated problems...
>Listen, Donnie-boy, I've humored you thus far, much like the way one might
>humor a drunken 98-pound weakling with ambitions of pugilistic domination.
>But the actual fact of the matter is that We Don't Like You Here. You are
>not intimidating, nor even humorous -- not even in a pathetic, embarrassing
>way. Your attempts to bluster your way in here like some kind of honking
>bull goose would be quite funny were they not so annoying. You're way out
>of your depth here, as you would be anywhere the sidewalk was wet. Go back
>to ba.politics where people are willing to take you seriously.
Looks like we have a few things in common, then. Too bad species isn't
one of them.
> You, sir, are the poster child for post-natal abortion on demand.
>
> -- bandy
What, are you losing it so badly that you're having Bantam write your
flames for you now?
But seriously, a friend DID tell me that you have a wit to be reckoned
with; so far, it appears he was only half right.
don
Don Baldwin
>ObPeeve:
> People who object to my reading material.
Exactly! Didn't they ever hear about the First Amendment to the
Constitution?
Besides, I don't see how anyone could object to your Little House on the
Prairie collection...
dfb
Logan Shaw
>Looks like we have a few things in common, then. Too bad species isn't
>one of them.
Ok, I've been trying to ignore this thread, but *that* one was very old.
Later,
Logan
--
____________________________________________________________________________
"Surely every man walks about like a phantom; surely they make an uproar for
nothing; he amasses riches, and does not know who will gather them. And
now Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in Thee." - Psalms 39:6-7
Horace McFippleflute
In article <1991Oct7.2...@igor.tamri.com> do...@igor.tamri.com
(Don Baldwin) writes:
>Looks like we have a few things in common, then. Too bad species isn't
>one of them.
Hey, that's a *great* line, Don! I hadn't heard that one since sixth grade.
>> You, sir, are the poster child for post-natal abortion on demand.
>>
>> -- bandy
>What, are you losing it so badly that you're having Bantam write your
>flames for you now?
Had your cranium not been so far up inside your derriere during most of this
discussion, you'd have noticed that the guy you've been calling "bantam" is
Banta, not Bandy. But they're both named Andy, so I can understand how
your little noggin was overtaxed.
>But seriously, a friend DID tell me that you have a wit to be reckoned
>with; so far, it appears he was only half right.
Come, Donnie-boy, let us retract the foreskin of ignorance and apply the
wire brush of enlightenment. I don't do flames for the sake of flames; I
always have a reason, however inapparent it might be to others at the time.
Flames without a central theme or bone(r) of contention are boring and
tedious. If you want to argue for the simple pleasure of argument, find
someone else to play with. You are annoying in the manner of a mouse fucking
an elephant when a coconut drops on the elephant's head and the pachyderm
says "ouch" and the mouse says "what, am I too big for you?"
Now run along and have a wank. We have matters of great import to discuss
here, and you'd only become frightfully confused.
no user serviceable parts inside
[geoffm says:]
>> You, sir, are the poster child for post-natal abortion on demand.
>>
>> -- bandy
>
>What, are you losing it so badly that you're having Bantam write your
>flames for you now?
Excuse me, knucklemeat. "bandy" is a nom-de-plume for the fine,
upstanding Andrew Scott Beals. I'm sure he, like I, does not
appreciate confusion such as this.
And allow me to assure you that Geoff is a force to be reckoned with,
if provoked. To date, your repertoire has consisted of overused,
hackneyed comments questioning the sexual integrity of other posters.
While such comments can add flavor to a flame war, your articles have
been chock full of such comments and frightfully free of an
substantive material. You have truly earned your title of dullard.
Understandably, Geoff hasn't felt any urge to flame your folderol.
Your ploy is so incredibly transparent at this time that calling him
a limp-wristed liberal would be unlikely to get a rise.
drew
Don Baldwin
>What is this "little slice of Hell" you're refering to? Are you
>going to bombard me with my own article as punishment? Boy, you sure
>are one tought customer, binker.
>
>Go home.
I AM home, Bantam-weight.
For the rest of your time on the net, you will be reading my posts to
alt.peeves. Occasionally, I may deign to flame you but for the most
part, I'll just ignore the sputtering matches that you call "flames".
Have a nice day! :-)
don
Doug S. Caprette Bldg. 28 W191 x3892
>
>Oh goody, we can talk about Jeeze-us, our Savior! Oh Lord, in Thy
>infinite wisdom, help us to avoid taking responsibility for our own
>lives...
>
Only if we're Protestants and believe in predestination. Catholics believe
in free will and the atonement for sin. (Especially the latter (:-))
--
| Regards, | Hughes STX | Code 926.9 GSFC |
| Doug Caprette | Lanham, Maryland | Greenbelt, MD 20771 |
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"I think that this task is apointed for you, Frodo;" -- Elrond
no user serviceable parts inside
>For the rest of your time on the net, you will be reading my posts to
>alt.peeves.
Unlikely. Once you stop directly addressing me with your pithy name
of the day (might I point out that most of us ceased making fun of
others' names when we stopped going to the playground for recess),
I'll simply blow by your piffle as I do with other articles of
mediocre content and no relevance.
>Occasionally, I may deign to flame you
And exactly how would I recognise a flame from you if I saw one? It
seems to me that most of us here came equipped with a mitt and a
helmet. You strolled in with your whiffle ball.
>but for the most
>part, I'll just ignore the sputtering matches that you call "flames".
Fine. Please start today. Immediately. Just remember not to play
with your pail and shovel in the runoff while we're on course.
>Have a nice day! :-)
"Your appeal is not well-founded and will not be heard. Your appeal
fee will be retained by the SCCA."
You'll note I haven't changed the subject on the thread. You're
doing a fine job of demonstrating new depths.
> don
done
drew
no user serviceable parts inside
>Who selected you as Flame Judge of Alt.Peeves? You're like the political
>hacks in ca.politics, who sit around and re-define rules to suit themselves.
>"No, that's not a REAL insult. Only I can create a real insult!". Of
>course, that reduces everyone else's fun but so what? As long as YOU
>enjoy yourself, that's all that counts, right?
Do you want a fucking book and someone to read it to you? You're
vying for the Ted Kaldis look-alike award in this group: In spite of
the fact that nobody likes you, you insist you're the best thing
since safety matches and oral contraceptives.
Now, lean back and reflect on the reason nobody agrees with you: you've
said nothing with meaningful content or that *even voiced an
opinion.* You came in like a swaggering pindick, spewing unbased
insults in hope of picking a fight. Most people at least realize
that they come across as a ninny if they slander people for no
apparent reason. Saying I suck-start Harleys may have actually
gotten a grin from someone. But we have rec.humor for things like
that. Your only reason for posting it was an attempt to get me to
fly off the handle. You failed. The same is true of saying Geoff
Miller posted his Yak fetishes to alt.sex.bestiality.
Excuse, but can I see a show of hands on how many people think Geoff
actually did this?
Now, how about another on how many people think Geoff would have been
embarrassed about it if he did?
Face it. You may've been hot snot in the Clayton vs. the world
battles of lore. But if you think you can muscle your way in here as
a loud-mouthed bully and gain any respect, you're mistaken.
I haven't flamed you, son. I tried to show you how silly you've been
acting. Now come back when you have something of substance to say.
Hell, even bait me if you think I'd take it at this point. Just
don't whimper to me that I don't like your "flames" when all I've
seen is a bratty kid with a stack of insults.
>Bantam (yes, you chose your name wisely), you remind me of a sea urchin:
>all spines and no brain.
Ooo, that funny name again. What a card you are. And you follow it
with another baseless insult. Yawn.
I'm signing off, Donny. Why don't you go jump into the political
forums you frequent and tell them you beat the stuffing out of me.
Tell 'em you whooped Geoff Miller, too. Left Bandy a greasy little
stain on the carpet. Tell 'em you're the meanest hombre to ever
wander these parts. We'll just remember you as the vacuous feller
with the big mouth.
>Get a life, you witless hack.
Yup. 'bout sums it up.
Don Baldwin
>|>Please allow me to point out that skunks' anuses typically do not
>|>menstruate. However, they do bleed when penetrated by large tubular
>|>objects; thus, they would be quite safe around you. Though I'm sure
>|>you still make them quite nervous...
>
>Wow, Donny. You managed to actually *write* something the second
>time around. We're impressed. Given time, you'll probably be able
>to overcome the constant string of drool falling off your jaw and the
>occasional bedwetting, as well. Second try. Not bad for a rank
>neophyte.
Damn! I've been smarmed! Now I have to have this shirt cleaned...
>|>You foolish little tit! By the time I finish like you, you will be
>|>reminiscent of an albino Yogoslav, strangled into severe retardation,
>|>every bone in your body broken, rhino shit-laden pungee stakes driven
>|>into your every orifice and joint, tied to a 3 week dead horse and
>|>left in Union Square.
>|>
>|>If it's a flame war you want, you pathetic simpering little excuse for
>|>a jerkoff remnant, then it's a flame war you'll get. We can even use
>|>your hobby (suck-starting Harleys) as the topic, if it will give your
>|>self-esteem enough of a boost to amuse me.
>
>Pretty sad. You lay three paragraphs on me describing my impending
>doom, and your best tactic so far is name calling with rehashed,
>refried phrases. "simpering little excuse?" "jerkoff remnant?"
>"suck-starting Harleys?" These aren't original, Donny. Nor are they
>vivid, colorful, entertaining, or terribly witty. Oh, and make no
>mistake: I didn't feel insulted by them either, considering their
>source.
>
>So cmon, Donny. Lay it on me. Flame me. Reduce me to a pile of
>cinders in my seat. Either make good on your promise, or piss off.
>I said it before, I'll say it again: You're boring.
Who selected you as Flame Judge of Alt.Peeves? You're like the political
hacks in ca.politics, who sit around and re-define rules to suit themselves.
"No, that's not a REAL insult. Only I can create a real insult!". Of
course, that reduces everyone else's fun but so what? As long as YOU
enjoy yourself, that's all that counts, right?
Bantam (yes, you chose your name wisely), you remind me of a sea urchin:
all spines and no brain.
Besides, even if everything I posted was rehashed materiel, so what? It
works for Geoff...
>>Oh my, a serious career employee! Probably jkust out of school to, as
>>you can't tell the difference between job enthusiasm and sucking up
>>to the boss. Although, for you, there may not BE a difference.
>
>Yeah, Donny. I completed kindergarten last week. It doesn't change
>the fact that if wit were knees, you wouldn't have a leg to stand on.
>The allusions to being prone on the boss's desk were retired several
>years ago, being so stale at that time that nobody paid any
>attention. Maybe you can go hire someone with an imagination. Until
>that time, I wouldn't count on your career as flamer-extraordinaire
>to get off the ground. Shrieking harpies don't go far in the group.
Yeah and they're still talking about you in alt.peewee.is.god. Get
a life, you witless hack.
don
Don Baldwin
>In article <1991Oct7.2...@igor.tamri.com> do...@igor.tamri.com (Don Baldwin) writes:
>>Looks like we have a few things in common, then. Too bad species isn't
>>one of them.
>
>Ok, I've been trying to ignore this thread, but *that* one was very old.
>
>Later,
> Logan
Wooo-ee! A new boy just joined in and he's from Texas!
Hey Tex, wipe your feet and don't track tumbleweeds into the house.
>"Surely every man walks about like a phantom; surely they make an uproar for
> nothing; he amasses riches, and does not know who will gather them. And
> now Lord, for what do I wait? My hope is in Thee." - Psalms 39:6-7
Oh goody, we can talk about Jeeze-us, our Savior! Oh Lord, in Thy
infinite wisdom, help us to avoid taking responsibility for our own
lives...
don
Brian Scearce
It would come as no surprise.
>Now, how about another on how many people think Geoff would have been
>embarrassed about it if he did?
Hmm, good point.
--
Brian Scearce (b...@robin.svl.cdc.com -or- robin!b...@shamash.cdc.com)
"Don't be surprised when a crack in the ice appears under your feet"
Any opinions expressed herein do not necessarily reflect CDC corporate policy.
Don Baldwin
>vying for the Ted Kaldis look-alike award in this group: In spite of
>the fact that nobody likes you, you insist you're the best thing
>since safety matches and oral contraceptives.
Wait a minute, I never said I was the best at anything. I heard that
this was an interesting group to converse/contend with and stopped by
to find out. I still haven't make up my mind (pause in anticipation
of Geoff (a force to be reckoned with) making his inevitable, predictable
comeback).
And if you think the Teddie Kaldis quip cut me to the bone, don't hold
your breath. True, I haven't decided whether that's more or less
insulting than comparing me to Davie Rasmussen, but I couldn't really
care less.
>Now, lean back and reflect on the reason nobody agrees with you: you've
>said nothing with meaningful content or that *even voiced an
>opinion.* You came in like a swaggering pindick, spewing unbased
>insults in hope of picking a fight. Most people at least realize
>that they come across as a ninny if they slander people for no
>apparent reason. Saying I suck-start Harleys may have actually
>gotten a grin from someone. But we have rec.humor for things like
>that. Your only reason for posting it was an attempt to get me to
>fly off the handle. You failed. The same is true of saying Geoff
>Miller posted his Yak fetishes to alt.sex.bestiality.
Well, SOMETHING must get a rise out of you people. First I posted a
couple times in mild rebuttal of Geoff's "Amurrica, love it or leave
it" posts. Nada. So I stopped by with my flame-thrower and tried
to pick a fight. Borrrrring. Oh well, I'll think of something...
>Excuse, but can I see a show of hands on how many people think Geoff
>actually did this?
>
>Now, how about another on how many people think Geoff would have been
>embarrassed about it if he did?
Can you say "hyperbole"? Sure ya can; I knew that you could.
>Face it. You may've been hot snot in the Clayton vs. the world
>battles of lore. But if you think you can muscle your way in here as
>a loud-mouthed bully and gain any respect, you're mistaken.
Hey, it works in the White House; what can I say...
>I haven't flamed you, son. I tried to show you how silly you've been
>acting. Now come back when you have something of substance to say.
>Hell, even bait me if you think I'd take it at this point. Just
>don't whimper to me that I don't like your "flames" when all I've
>seen is a bratty kid with a stack of insults.
Well, interested in picking a topic and discussing it? Tail-gaters,
fer instance? I'll take the pro side, you take the con side.
Friends?
don
Don Baldwin
>upstanding Andrew Scott Beals. I'm sure he, like I, does not
>appreciate confusion such as this.
>
>And allow me to assure you that Geoff is a force to be reckoned with,
>if provoked. To date, your repertoire has consisted of overused,
>hackneyed comments questioning the sexual integrity of other posters.
People keep saying that about him. Of course, a lot of people also
believe that Kermit the Frog is now channeling for Jim Henson...
>Understandably, Geoff hasn't felt any urge to flame your folderol.
>Your ploy is so incredibly transparent at this time that calling him
>a limp-wristed liberal would be unlikely to get a rise.
You mean I wore my asbestos underwear for nothing? Awwww...
don
Don Baldwin
>Had your cranium not been so far up inside your derriere during most of this
>discussion, you'd have noticed that the guy you've been calling "bantam" is
>Banta, not Bandy. But they're both named Andy, so I can understand how
>your little noggin was overtaxed.
You say Banta, I say Bandy: let's call the whole thing off...
>I don't do flames for the sake of flames; I
>always have a reason, however inapparent it might be to others at the time.
>Flames without a central theme or bone(r) of contention are boring and
>tedious. If you want to argue for the simple pleasure of argument, find
>someone else to play with. You are annoying in the manner of a mouse fucking
>an elephant when a coconut drops on the elephant's head and the pachyderm
>says "ouch" and the mouse says "what, am I too big for you?"
But after all's been said and done, the elephant STILL has to admit it's
been fucked by a mouse!
>Now run along and have a wank. We have matters of great import to discuss
>here, and you'd only become frightfully confused.
I've been waiting for such matters to come along for a while now.
Ho hum...
don
*******************************************************************************
* Don Baldwin "Between the idea and the reality, *
* Software Engineer Between the motion and the act, falls the shadow. *
* Between the conception and the creation, *
* do...@tamri.com Between the emotion and the response, falls the shadow."*
*******************************************************************************
Scott Fisher
|> In article <61...@jethro.Corp.Sun.COM> geo...@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM (Horace McFippleflute) writes:
|>
|> >Now run along and have a wank. We have matters of great import to discuss
|> >here, and you'd only become frightfully confused.
|>
|> I've been waiting for such matters to come along for a while now.
|> Ho hum...
Interesting. So far, in your first week here, you've managed to:
- Post the text of one of Banta's messages without any followup
- Confuse Banta with Bandy
And what little you *have* posted here has been so turgid, derivative,
and jejune that it would take a scanning electron microscope and a U. N.
commission to find evidence of a clue once having passed through the
aggregate, like a cicada passing through the digestive tract of a dog.
What is your next move, writing a glowing encomium on world communism?
A five-hundred-word treatise on the gentle art of shooting one's own foot?
Starting an article with "Well, I'm a 27-year-old grad student and I've
never actually *had* sex, but it seems to me that..."?
Scarcely in the history of Usenet has anyone made a clumsier, more
awkward, ill-thought-out and poorly timed entry to a newsgroup. It
would be amusing if it weren't so lame. I advise getting an account
on Portal for the rest of your little diatribe-wannabes. Then we'd
know what to expect.
Brian Scearce
> Well, SOMETHING must get a rise out of you people.
Don, Don, Don (may I call you "Don"?). The raison d'etre (obligatory
untranslated foreign phrase) of this group is peeves. The flames
are an epiphenomenon; they sometimes arise from some of the
discussions that are indulged in here, but to try to create a flame
out of nothing for its own sake is a waste of time, and likely to
fail.
What's happening here, Don, is you're twisting the needle on the
barometer and wondering why the weather doesn't change.
This isn't alt.flame -- few of the posters here, aside from Geoff,
have enough free time to compose the volumes that most alt.flamers
generate -- and chips on shoulders just aren't that interesting.
Paul Crowley
the energy to compose long insults, and I'm a fairly nice guy. I just
feel that someone should let you know that you're _not_ _actually_
_funny_, Don. You're just not very good at coming up with original and
apt insults. You're not even a particularly good clown. It would be
really nice if you just went away and returned us to our regularly
scheduled peeves.
Thankyou.
____
\/ o\ Paul Crowley ai...@castle.ed.ac.uk \ /
/\__/ Part straight. Part gay. All queer. \/
"I say we kill him and eat his brain."
"That's not the solution to _every_ problem, you know!" -- Rudy Rucker
Coito Ergo Sum
In article <37...@shamash.cdc.com> b...@u02.svl.cdc.com (Brian Scearce) writes:
>What's happening here, Don, is you're twisting the needle on the
>barometer and wondering why the weather doesn't change.
Well said. I've been trying to think of an appropriate metaphor myself, but
my imagery tended more toward the bestiofeculent.
>This isn't alt.flame -- few of the posters here, aside from Geoff,
>have enough free time to compose the volumes that most alt.flamers
>generate -- and chips on shoulders just aren't that interesting.
Contrary to apparently popular belief, I don't spend inordinate amounts of
time reading and posting to alt.peeves. That impression is predicated on
the assumption that it takes me a lot longer to write this stuff than it
actually does. I don't slave in obsessive detail over this stuff; I hammer
it out and get back to what I was doing.
Geoff
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Geoff Miller + "A *real* anarchist would look at my dick.
geo...@purplehaze.Corp.Sun.COM + Look at my dick, anarchist!"
-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-
Don Baldwin
>Look, I don't really enjoy flamewars too much, I don't have the time and
>the energy to compose long insults, and I'm a fairly nice guy. I just
>feel that someone should let you know that you're _not_ _actually_
>_funny_, Don.
Well well well, another net.nit is jumping on the bandwagon! Nice to meet
you, Paul. What's next, are you going to accuse me of being a PC liberal?
Let's see, what other safe, socially approved shots can you lob at me?
Peeve: Those days when you've gone one-on-one with the big guns, put
your spleen on the line, gotten pummelled and ground into the
dirt, drag yourself out the door...and some whiney little kid
runs up and whacks you with his rubber tomahawk.
don
David Gridley
I think I've found what might be the ultimate in safety wimpiness, right
in my kitchen cabinet.
I was doing some cleaning and came across an old box of Bigg Mixx(tm)
cereal. In the process of throwing it out, I came across the Free Toy
Prize. Two pieces of "warning tape," along the lines of the stuff the police
and fire departments use to mark off areas they don't want the public wandering
into. These were much narrower and made of paper though.
Along with the paper was a business-card sized piece of cardboard that
read:
"Parents: The toy in this package meets or exceeds currently
applicable government and voluntary toy industry standards.
As with any toy, we suggest you provide guidance to your
children regarding proper use."
I don't even want to think what improper use of these menacing pieces of
yellow paper would be.
ObPeeve: Pedestrians/Drivers who give me dirty looks when I do something
courteous instead of running them over/cutting them off.
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David J. Gridley Bitnet: Why?
N1FMF Arpa: gri...@maine.maine.edu
"Joy! It's a Muddy Mudskipper cereal bowl caddy!" -- Stimpson J. Cat