5 yo and listening skills
AmyAme
Any ideas on how to improve the listening skills of a 5 yo girl? We're trying,
though some others experience would be helpful.
Thanks!
Elaine Gallegos
It helps to be sure you have her attention before you speak. Make your
statement. Keep it short. Get her to give you some feedback on what you
just said.
AmyAme (amy...@aol.com) wrote:
: Any ideas on how to improve the listening skills of a 5 yo girl? We're trying,
Jennifer Guy
On 15 Jun 1998 00:50:19 GMT, amy...@aol.com (AmyAme) wrote:
>Any ideas on how to improve the listening skills of a 5 yo girl? We're trying,
>though some others experience would be helpful.
>
>Thanks!
I'd like some more ideas too. We have a 5 yo boy, David, and sometimes
you can talk to him till you're blue in the face, and he looks up and
says, "Hi, Mom!" Aaarrrggghh!
We've been doing story time at night for a long time and it's one of
the few times of day I can regularly count on him to sit and listen.
Now we're past Seuss and on to chapter books (with real plots and
everything, hooray for me!). Currently we're doing The Black Stallion.
He's sort of required to have at least one chapter per night
(depending on other bedtime schedule conflicts), and he has to review
the book up to that point, at least the previous night's happenings.
He tells which chapter we're on, the title, and what he thinks might
happen based on the chapter title. Sometimes he'll read a bit out loud
himself, or if not, I have him read a preschool book to his 2 yo
brother when we're done with Dave's chapter for the night. Sometimes
he's bored or tired or worked up and wants to get it over with quick,
and sometimes he wants 3 or 4 chapters in one night- OUCH my voice!
The other things we like to do for listening skills, are the preschool
and kindergarten workbooks that don't have any real skill involved,
like math or writing, but are mostly for Mom to think she's
accomplishing something with the kid. I suppose they're more like
reading comprehension and following directions lessons, but that's
useful for him because he needs to work on his concentration and
attention span for something that's *not exactly* his choice. I make
him sit through 10-15 (easy) pages (with only 2-5 questions or
problems on each page), and it's a bit of a chore, but he's really
proud of his accomplishment when he's done.
Maybe you could try the foreign language audiotapes. Berlitz Jr. has
been fun for both my kids, and they can repeat most of the French
words easily after a short time.
If I'm talking to him and he's involved with something, he won't even
know what I said if I ask him 5 minutes later. There's no point in
bothering with that nonsense, so when he's having a 'bad' day, I try
to make sure he's facing me each time I address him. If not, I simply
call his name until he looks up. I'm sure he's heard me when he's
responded. Then I can tell him what I need to. It's saved us from a
lot of arguments!
scout
>Any ideas on how to improve the listening skills of a 5 yo girl? We're
trying,
>though some others experience would be helpful.
>
>Thanks!
Read aloud every day. Even when she's old enough to read to herself.
abyw...@bidmc.harvard.edu
What do you mean by 'listening skills'? School related comprehension? Calling
her and she ignores you?
There are different ways to deal with all of the 'listening' problems out
there.
-Alexis
In article <199806150050...@ladder03.news.aol.com>,
amy...@aol.com (AmyAme) wrote:
>
> Any ideas on how to improve the listening skills of a 5 yo girl? We're trying,
> though some others experience would be helpful.
>
> Thanks!
>
-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/ Now offering spam-free web-based newsreading
Elaine Gallegos
Jennifer Guy (jen...@home.com) wrote:
: On 15 Jun 1998 00:50:19 GMT, amy...@aol.com (AmyAme) wrote:
: >Any ideas on how to improve the listening skills of a 5 yo girl? We're trying,
: >though some others experience would be helpful.
: >
: >Thanks!
: I'd like some more ideas too. We have a 5 yo boy, David, and sometimes
: you can talk to him till you're blue in the face, and he looks up and
: says, "Hi, Mom!" Aaarrrggghh!
That's more of a shortcoming of YOUR listening skills. It's your job as
speaker to first make sure that you're making contact with your intended
audience.
With little kids, this might mean making the child stop what they are
doing, and have them sit down in a chair. Get them to make eye contact,
and say "I need you to listen to something."
If you're "talking 'til you're blue in the face", you are in fact
training your son to ignore you. You are speaking in such a way that you
give him the option of listening to you. Don't then get huffy with him if
he takes you up on that option.
: We've been doing story time at night for a long time and it's one of
linda-renee
Jennifer Guy wrote:
> I'd like some more ideas too. We have a 5 yo boy, David, and sometimes
> you can talk to him till you're blue in the face, and he looks up and
> says, "Hi, Mom!" Aaarrrggghh!
> We've been doing story time at night for a long time and it's one of
> the few times of day I can regularly count on him to sit and listen.
> Now we're past Seuss and on to chapter books (with real plots and
> everything, hooray for me!). Currently we're doing The Black Stallion.
> He's sort of required to have at least one chapter per night
> (depending on other bedtime schedule conflicts), and he has to review
> the book up to that point, at least the previous night's happenings.
> He tells which chapter we're on, the title, and what he thinks might
> happen based on the chapter title. Sometimes he'll read a bit out loud
> himself, or if not, I have him read a preschool book to his 2 yo
> brother when we're done with Dave's chapter for the night. Sometimes
> he's bored or tired or worked up and wants to get it over with quick,
> and sometimes he wants 3 or 4 chapters in one night- OUCH my voice!
> The other things we like to do for listening skills, are the preschool
> and kindergarten workbooks that don't have any real skill involved,
> like math or writing, but are mostly for Mom to think she's
> accomplishing something with the kid. I suppose they're more like
> reading comprehension and following directions lessons, but that's
> useful for him because he needs to work on his concentration and
> attention span for something that's *not exactly* his choice. I make
> him sit through 10-15 (easy) pages (with only 2-5 questions or
> problems on each page), and it's a bit of a chore, but he's really
> proud of his accomplishment when he's done.
Hi, Jen,
It sounds like your little boy's getting a lot out of your reading, so
be proud of what he's doing. Being able to get chapter reviews out of
him is really awesome for that age. That said, I think anything beyond
five minutes' attention span is asking too much of a five-year-old.
Developmentally, it's all he's capable of managing. Workbooks can leave
any kid in the dust, so the fact that he seems to like them is also
quite exceptional. And he may just be a daydreamer. Kids all seem to
have that selective hearing, especially when what's being said isn't
what they want to hear. :>
--
Linda
(P.S. I checked out your new domain's web site based on what you told
me the other day...darn it, it's not available here yet.)
I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.
AmyAme
>
>What do you mean by 'listening skills'? School related comprehension? Calling
>her and she ignores you?
>
>
Sorry! Her school related listening is good. I'm talking about when you ask
your child to do something, and they either don't do it or fight and protest,
etc. I know 5 year olds are basically programmed to think the world revolves
around them, but when do they learn that it doesn't? If she wakes up at 6 a.m.
and I tell her to keep her voice down when she plays, and she consistently
doesn't, is that a listening problem or am I being unrealistic with
expectations?
ALISON_SHEEHAN
I suppose that it is unrealistic to expect a 5-yr-old (and older!) to
consistently listen and obey. This is normal kid-behavior. What we have
to do is MAKE them do what we ask them to do, for if we just repeat over
and over, "Quiet voices at 6 in the morning, please," as we lie in bed,
they've forgotten practically as soon as the words are out of our mouths.
We have to go up to them and physically insist that they do it -- perhaps
by leading them to their rooms and repeatedly doing so every time they come
out and start yelling. In our house a major argument is over turning off
the TV or computer when Mom says it is time. I can stand there telling the
kids to do this over and over again with no response, but when Mom walks
over and holds her finger over the OFF button, my boys will usually obey
and turn it off. If they argue, I push the button myself. How about
picking up toys at the end of the day? "Go put your toys away before
bed," doesn't work very well, but leading my 5-yr-old by the hand over to
the LEGO pile and handing him the bucket gets him started. And if he
refuses, as sometimes happens? Both my boys listen and obey when I tell
them that if Mommy has to pick up the toys herself, they will disappear.
They fuss and whine, but they do pick up the things. As for not responding
when Mom calls, sometimes they are so involved in what they're doing that
they have tuned out all outside noises, especially those evil parental
voices. You've got to get right in their faces. This also works when they
pretend not to hear you because they don't want to do what they know is
coming.
AmyAme <amy...@aol.com> wrote in article
<199806152356...@ladder01.news.aol.com>...
Elaine Gallegos
Jenn (je...@u.washington.edu) wrote:
: When my 5 yo isn't listening to me (OFTEN), I have to say things in a different
: way. For instance, when it's time to clean up and he doesn't "hear" me, I have
: to make it fun.
I would loathe to think that it is now the adult's job to make every
chore "fun" in order to get a kid to do it. The thing is, the job has to
be done wether it's fun or not. One technique of "fun making" is only
going to work once. Twice maybe at the outside.
There's a certain element of just habituating the child to run thorough
a task and not make a big deal out of it. If there's a reward waiting at
the completion of the job, this is a more dependable way to get things
moving along.
Jenn
Elaine Gallegos wrote:
Right. In your VAST child-rearing experience, bribery is best. Thanks for the
"advice" as usual.
His sister took out some toys and, being 2, didn't pick them up. He did because he
wanted to show me the clean floor again. Sorry, but hands-on experience is much more
beneficial than theories from someone without kids.
ALISON_SHEEHAN
Jenn <je...@u.washington.edu> wrote in article
<35874C9C...@u.washington.edu>...
> When my 5 yo isn't listening to me (OFTEN), I have to say things in a
different
> way. For instance, when it's time to clean up and he doesn't "hear" me,
I have
> to make it fun. Tonight I picked a toy up and made a HUGE deal of the
clean
> spot on the floor. Tyler then thought it was a lot of fun to pick up
toys and
> watch my reaction as the floor got cleaner and cleaner. It was fun for
both of
>
> -Jenn
Yes, making a game of it works very well with my 5-yr-old too. We have
races to see if he can get all the toys picked up before I can get into my
pajamas or get my teeth brushed, or I challenge him to get everything put
away in three minutes as I time him on my watch. I always praise his clear
floor and neat room, and remind him that if he has to get up in the night
to use the potty he won't step on anything. I wish it worked as well with
my older son! That is the bigger challenge, as he is too old for games.
savonarola2
Ask, soto voce, if she'd like some icecream.
" " " " " " to do something
you know doesn't appeal. Have her hearing
checked by someone who doesn't sell hearing
aids. Ask her if she understsnds what's being
said on television. Ask her if she can hear her
teacher. Read to her then ask for a translation.
Ziggy
Two comments, Amy.
a) Another contributor is right on the money about ensuring her
attention before you speak. I have a 6 yo boy and for the last four
years ( ! ) I have found that I am wasting my time unless I make
absolutely sure he is looking right at me when I speak. I also find that
he needs to understand that there are consequences to not listening and
punishments to be suffered. Otherwise why listen to me ?
b) We have encountered several instances of hearing loss from chest/head
colds during the winter. I never heard of this until I discovered that
he wasn't listening AND he seemed to need the tv louder than I expected
AND was getting into trouble in school.
Ziggy
Mike Kohary
Elaine Gallegos wrote:
>
> AmyAme (amy...@aol.com) wrote:
> : >
> : I know 5 year olds are basically programmed to think the world revolves
> : around them, but when do they learn that it doesn't?
>
This statement explains a great deal about you. For the record, I
learned that lesson, once and for all (brought about by tragedy),
somewhere in my teens. I pity you that you never learned it,
apparently. Without it, I could never be the kind of loving husband and
father that I strive to be.
Mike
--
From Seattle, WA - Seahawks, cinema, science
and more at http://kohary.simplenet.com
---------------------------------------
Seahawks: http://kohary.simplenet.com/hawks.htm
Cinema: http://kohary.simplenet.com/movies.htm
Science: http://kohary.simplenet.com/science.htm
Elaine Gallegos
Mike Kohary (mko...@serv.net) wrote:
: Elaine Gallegos wrote:
: >
: > AmyAme (amy...@aol.com) wrote:
: > : >
: > : I know 5 year olds are basically programmed to think the world revolves
: > : around them, but when do they learn that it doesn't?
: >
: > Never. Our own personal worlds do in fact revolve around each of us.
: This statement explains a great deal about you. For the record, I
: learned that lesson, once and for all (brought about by tragedy),
: somewhere in my teens. I pity you that you never learned it,
: apparently.
: Without it, I could never be the kind of loving husband and
: father that I strive to be.
The truly happy person realizes that the better that they are able to
make life for everyone around them, the smoother and better their own
lives run. I am not sure that there is true altruism, or even if there
should be.
Mike Kohary
This statement cannot be reconciled with your previous statement, that
the world does revolve around each of us. My world revolves around my
family, not myself. I gain happiness from this, true, but that is not
my ultimate motivation. I would step in front of a bullet for my wife
or daughter; this surely would not gain anyone much happiness, though it
might save a life in exchange for my own. In the end, though, since I'm
dead, how does that benefit me?
> I am not sure that there is true altruism, or even if there
> should be.
Then you never heard of Mother Theresa.
janelaw
There have been medical studies done about this, but I can't
remember where they were published. I only remember because
they struck me as true. Boys this age tend not to hear you
unless you engage their attention. Girls develop auditory
processing skill earlier, I think.
You have to disengage the child from what her attention is on
before you talk to her. Turn off the tv, touch her on the
shoulder, look her in the eye, wait until she is looking back
directly at you. Have her repeat back to you what you have
said.
I wish I had more details.
Ziggy wrote:
>
> a) Another contributor is right on the money about ensuring her
> attention before you speak. I have a 6 yo boy and for the last four
> years ( ! ) I have found that I am wasting my time unless I make
> absolutely sure he is looking right at me when I speak.
>
Angela Creed
Elaine,
Where do you get this stuff? It's not just this post - you always seem to
portray yourself as an expert in child-rearing, yet I have seen others say
that you don't have kids. I've not seen you refute that, so where do you
get the vast knowledge of childrearing that you seem to have?
I program software. I wouldn't take advice regarding programming from
someone who has never done it in a practical situation. Do you have other
ways of "knowing" so much about childrearing other than actually being a
parent? Are you studying it at college, or do you work in a daycare? I'd
really like to know why you read this newsgroup!
Elaine Gallegos wrote in message <6m8pr8$prr$3...@haus.efn.org>...
>Jenn (je...@u.washington.edu) wrote:
>: When my 5 yo isn't listening to me (OFTEN), I have to say things in a
different
>: way. For instance, when it's time to clean up and he doesn't "hear" me,
I have
>: to make it fun.
>