When to let a baby cry him/herself to sleep?
Jeff Miller
My wife and I have gotten much conflicting advice on this issue. Our
baby is 7.5 months old yet still wakes 2 or 3 times a night for
feedings. Some people have advised us to let the baby cry for hours
until he falls asleep, and after a few days he'll sleep through the
night. Others say that at 7.5 months its too early and cruel to do
this to the baby, and to wait until a year or until the baby starts
talking (even if just a word or two).
I'm sure of all the thousands of baby books there's different opinions
in each one, but is there a general consensus on this issue? Do MOST
books recommend a certain time when a baby should be left alone to cry
to sleep, and if so, how long should the baby be left to cry? 5 mins?
10 mins? 1 hour? 4 hours? as long as it takes?
My wife and I would appreciate any comments. Thank you.
Kim
I have a 20 month old daughter. When she was 7 months old my doctor said
she was too young to "cry it out", and could still be waking up due to
hunger. What does your doctor say? No matter what anyone says you should
never do something that you (or especially your wife) is not comfortable
with. Lots of people advocate "crying it out" and it may work for them, but
if you are not comfortable with it then you shouldn't do it. There are
other ways, and they are all difficult and require patience and consistency.
(not something we have much of at 3am) When my daughter was around 10-11
months I started a bed time routine (bath, story etc.), put her in the crib
awake, stayed there to comfort her until she went to sleep, but never took
her out of the crib. Sometimes I was in there for an hour and a half, but I
did not take her out of her crib - the same when she woke up in the night.
After about 2-3 weeks she learned the routine and started to lay right down
when I put her in the crib. Gradually I started to walk out of the room
when she was awake. Even when she woke up in the night she knew she was not
coming out of the crib. My husband or I would stand there and hug her, lay
her down, rub her back, but not take her out. Believe it or not, this
worked. And I was a mom that was desperate when I tried it. My daughter
had started waking up several times a night, and I was getting no sleep.
But I did not have the heart to let her cry it out even though many people
told me to (even the doctor). I don't want to mislead you - this was not an
easy process ( neither is laying there listening to your baby's
heartbreaking wail) but it worked. Good luck to you and your wife, and try
to remember this part of you and your baby's life is temporary...it will
end, and you will find sleep again.
Kim
A.O.B
IMHO 5 mins max. Why on earth would anyone let a child cry longer than
that? Is it really so important your child sleeps through the night? Mine
is 10.5 months and still wakes atleast once.. In the grand scheme of
things, why sweat it.. But then again, maybe sleep training is more
important to some than attachment..
</flame protection on> :)
Jeff Miller <sy...@onix.com> wrote:
: My wife and I have gotten much conflicting advice on this issue. Our
LoganMomma
>
>I'm sure of all the thousands of baby books there's different opinions
>in each one, but is there a general consensus on this issue? Do MOST
>books recommend a certain time when a baby should be left alone to cry
>to sleep, and if so, how long s
My only advice on when to let a baby cry himself to sleep is ---- follow your
heart, NOT a book. If letting the baby cry does not feel right to you -- dont
do it. Personally, I never felt comfortable with the "let them cry" method --
a baby's only way to communicate his needs to you is by crying, and IMO,
ignoring that crying is like telling the baby that his needs are not
important...
I read every book available when I was pregnant with my son --- then after I
gave birth, I pretty much threw them out the window and followed my heart, did
what felt right for our family.
Good luck
David and Dionne Kane
I have done the "cry it out" method with my 2 oldest - I did it at 2.5 with
my first, and at 2 with my second. Before that, I felt that they just
couldn't understand the concept of "it's time to sleep, mommys sleeping,
daddys sleeping, now you sleep too!" and before they are verbal, I was
always afraid they were waking for a reason (teeth hurting, ears, hungry
tummy, too hot, too cold, scared, wet/poopy) and I couldn't bear to let them
cry if there was a real need. So, now I have 1.5 years left before I get a
full nights sleep... but as has been said before, it's really a personal
issue for your family and what works for you and your kids. I know some
really great parents with really loving/loved secure kids who "cried it out"
at 3 mo's old! (breaks my heart though! :) ) So, good luck!
Teri G.
Jeff Miller wrote:
>
> My wife and I have gotten much conflicting advice on this issue. Our
> baby is 7.5 months old yet still wakes 2 or 3 times a night for
> feedings. Some people have advised us to let the baby cry for hours
> until he falls asleep, and after a few days he'll sleep through the
> night. Others say that at 7.5 months its too early and cruel to do
> this to the baby, and to wait until a year or until the baby starts
> talking (even if just a word or two).
>
> in each one, but is there a general consensus on this issue? Do MOST
> books recommend a certain time when a baby should be left alone to cry
> 10 mins? 1 hour? 4 hours? as long as it takes?
>
> My wife and I would appreciate any comments. Thank you.
I'm sure you'll get plenty of responses on this one, as it seems to be a
very controversial issue. I clearly think that 4 hours (even 1 hour) is
neglectful and borderline abusive. IMHO, and my husband and I totally
agree on this (we have a 4&1/2 yo, and a 6mo), we have always responded
immediately to our childrens' cries. For this reason, we believe, they
do not cry often...they don't have a need to. No, we don't rush to
their room if they are whining, or grumping...but an outright cry, yes.
I personally believe that letting a child cry themself to sleep does
*not* teach them to sleep, it teaches them that nobody is listening, so
they give up. When I cry because I am (uncomfortable, lonely, hungry,
in need of comfort - you choose, do you really know which one it is?),
nobody responds, so I will no longer bother. IMO, that is what they
learn.
I agree fully with the poster that said follow your heart, not a book.
My heart would break if I let me 6 mo cry for an hour. Many people have
chastised me because I rock my baby to sleep. Why? I honestly don't
find anything wrong with this, and personally, I enjoy it. Just looking
at my 4&1/2 yo (who was born yesterday, wasn't he?) makes me realize
that this stage is so brief, and pretty soon they will be outgrowing
your cuddling & rocking.
Enjoy your child & make a choice that you are happy & comfortable with.
Best wishes,
Teri
AM...@my-dejanews.com
In article <3585306...@207.44.0.14>,
sy...@onix.com (Jeff Miller) wrote:
>
> My wife and I have gotten much conflicting advice on this issue. Our
> baby is 7.5 months old yet still wakes 2 or 3 times a night for
> feedings. Some people have advised us to let the baby cry for hours
> until he falls asleep, and after a few days he'll sleep through the
> night. Others say that at 7.5 months its too early and cruel to do
> this to the baby, and to wait until a year or until the baby starts
> talking (even if just a word or two).
>
> I'm sure of all the thousands of baby books there's different opinions
> in each one, but is there a general consensus on this issue? Do MOST
> books recommend a certain time when a baby should be left alone to cry
> to sleep, and if so, how long should the baby be left to cry? 5 mins?
> 10 mins? 1 hour? 4 hours? as long as it takes?
>
> My wife and I would appreciate any comments. Thank you.
>
>
My personal opinion/philosophy/practice is to *not* let babies "cry it out"
to "train" them to go to sleep. Occasionally, my daughter will cry for a
couple of minutes before sleeping if she is over-tired and simply cannot be
soothed and relaxed with our usual repertoire. However, initially going to
bed doesn't sound like your real question, that of waking during the night.
At 7.5 months, many, many babies really do *need* to eat during the night
hours--particularly if breastfed--and there are a lot of good reasons why
this is so. Yes, it is tiring, and not the most fun part of parenting. This
is a pretty emotional issue for some, and the bottom line seems to be that
there *is* no general consensus. I would advise you only to follow your own
hearts and do what you are comfortable with, keeping your baby's needs in
mind.
AJ
-----== Posted via Deja News, The Leader in Internet Discussion ==-----
http://www.dejanews.com/ Now offering spam-free web-based newsreading
Linus
Of course I agree with following your instincts. I particulary didn't
go by any books, I just felt ,my son was old enough to start falling
asleep on his own at around 6-8 months, (of course I stopped
breastfeeding before this) I would let him lay on me for awhile, BUT
NOT until he fell asleep, It isn't "training" your child to go to
sleep, it is encouraging him/her to learn to fall asleep with out
mommy or daddy. I never had to let him cry for hours because he was
almost asleep when I used to put him in the crib, I did however have a
problem after he was ill, or teething badly, because of course I would
hold him in the middle of the night to comfort him because he felt so
miserable. Then after he was better he would think that I was going
to get up with him every night. I did that method where every night
you let him cry a little longer. I think the longest he ever cried
was 20 minutes. It broke my heart and I was almost crying myself, but
I believe if I didn't do that then I would still be getting up in the
middle of the night for him. He is 3 years old now. I know people
are going to respond saying I am heartless....blah blah blah..but I
know SO many parents who would die for a full nights sleep. One
friend I know has a four year old daughter who still gets up EVERY
night because they would rock her until she fell asleep and now she
climbs into their bed every morning kicking and squirming. Of course
there are people who do not mind this at all, and that is good for ,
them but for those who prefer to get sleep and wake with a happy
disposition -then try it. It is probably one of the hardest moments
of independence your child shows, and although it can be hard (kind of
like watching the kindergarten bus drive away with your baby on it,
letting go for the first time) sometimes you have to try to see the
importance of it for everyone.
By the way, my son does not "cry all the time" because of it.
In fact he is pretty attached to me during the day. He is 3 now. He
does not seem neglected in any way and I am sure he won't be seeing a
psycho-therapist in 20 years either.
You should also try the same bed-time routine every night before bed.
Taking a warm, relaxing bath, reading a story, some warm milk.
Good Luck
Emily
Ziggy
I couldn;t agree more. This misguided stuff about allowing a baby to
cry themself to sleep is absolutely dreadful.
Babies are not made to sleep the same as adults, so it is pointless and
destructive to expect them to do so just to fit in with our lives.
If we go to the trouble of having a child and take on the
responsibilities that come with it, then we must compromise and realise
that we must fit OUR lives around our precious child rather than the
reverse.
Our babies grow up SO fast and this precious time is lost forever. A
little patience and understanding is not too much to expect is it ?
I also believe that a baby doesn't cry for longer than 5 or 10 minutes
without good reason. THAT is what should be investigated.
Ziggy
Pam
Babies at this age don't understand yet that if you go away you will always
come back, so letting a baby cry himself to sleep could be a very
frightening experience. If your baby is still waking a lot for seveal
breast feeds it could be that he needs to eat a bit more during the day.
You could try cutting out one night feed and just comforting him. It is
best if the other parent who does not usually feed does the comforting so
the baby is not looking for the food he is used to. You need to be boring
and not be ready to play but on the other hand to stay near so the baby is
not afraid. Some parents put a foldaway bed in the child's room for a few
nights so they can be comforting but still get some sleep themselves.
Ziggy <zi...@nospam.city> wrote in article
<1dasizn.tbw...@db-36.dialup.eunet.ie>...
janelaw
I never let my baby cry for more than a minute or two, the
length of time it took me to wake up, or wash my hands, or
whatever. Babies don't cry unless they want something, and they
aren't old enough to want anything they don't need. Why torture
them? My child has always been very secure, self-confident, and
independent. I'm glad I took the time to put her interests
first.
OTOH, there were times when she cried for more than 5 to 10
minutes even when I was trying to comfort her. I was so
relieved when she could talk and tell me what was wrong.
MelPinGA
I agree! I was told repeatedly by friends and relatives that I would SPOIL my
baby because I rocked him all the time, including rocking him to sleep. I
think that is rediculous. I rocked him ALL the time his entire first year of
life and am still rocking him every once in a while when he asks at age 4 and
loving it! BTW, he seems very secure and well adjusted, and NOT spoiled by all
the mommy-baby time! Although I'll admit he is a typical 4 year old! LOL
Melanie
Samios
My personal opinion, is that if your child is crying, and you feel you need
to go to the child, then go to the child. It doesn't matter what the books
or experts say. From what I understand, it is possible to "train" a child
to sleep through the night this way, but goodness knows I personally could
never do it.
My nine month old currently wakes often. She is teething, and I would
rather comfort her than teach her that I won't come to her during the night.
She is not old enough yet to understand the difference between a minor
inconvenience and a catastrophe, so I go to her each time. Sometimes, I
tuck her right back into bed and let her fuss a bit. Other times I rock
her. Still other times I nurse her. I take each waking as an individual
event and handle each event as I see fit. I'm exhausted, but I feel that
I'm handling it the best way for both of us.
So, I guess what I'm saying is that people can give you their opinions, but
they are just that, opinions. Only you can decide what is right for you and
your child.
Mary
mother to Lili (5-3-95), Jenny (9-21-97), and ???, (2/13/99)
Jeff Miller wrote in message <3585306...@207.44.0.14>...
jimg...@worldnet.att.net
"Samios" <jsa...@mail.bcpl.lib.md.us> writes: > My personal opinion, is that if your child is crying, and you feel you need
> My doc said to let him cry it out at 6 mos, but we just couldn't.
Now, at 9 mos, he may get up once or twice and I'll just give him the
pacifier. If he won't take it, then I'll go get a bottle. He usually
doesn't need the bottle till about 1:30 or 2:00. Then he'll sleep till
around 5:30, get another bottle and then sleep till 8:00. This is very
important for my husband who works late, and I get up for work at 5:30.
My son usually won't even drink the whole bottle.
Kim Murrell
In article <6mmgci$el8$1...@news.abs.net>, "Samios" <jsa...@mail.bcpl.lib.md.us> wrote:
>My personal opinion, is that if your child is crying, and you feel you need
>to go to the child, then go to the child. It doesn't matter what the books
>or experts say. From what I understand, it is possible to "train" a child
>to sleep through the night this way, but goodness knows I personally could
>never do it.
very young, he would occaisionally wake up crying. I *never* let him
cry it out (and still dont at 3 yo). I know my son. He only cries
when something is *really* bothering him.
Kim
--
Kim's Homepage has moved again!
http://www.warped.com/~murrell/kim
Ari
Samios wrote:
>
> My personal opinion, is that if your child is crying, and you feel you need
> to go to the child, then go to the child. It doesn't matter what the books
> or experts say. From what I understand, it is possible to "train" a child
> to sleep through the night this way, but goodness knows I personally could
> never do it.
I'm with Samios on this one. While mileage and methods may vary, I
would
have a very hard time doing this to my child. I have tried it in the
past with my first child but just could not stand the cries. A baby is
still a *baby* who *needs* mommy or daddy.
> My nine month old currently wakes often. She is teething, and I would
> rather comfort her than teach her that I won't come to her during the night.
> She is not old enough yet to understand the difference between a minor
> inconvenience and a catastrophe, so I go to her each time. Sometimes, I
> tuck her right back into bed and let her fuss a bit. Other times I rock
> her. Still other times I nurse her. I take each waking as an individual
> event and handle each event as I see fit. I'm exhausted, but I feel that
> I'm handling it the best way for both of us.
Yes, the first year is a very exhausting one, trying to get a baby
fully used to the world.
> So, I guess what I'm saying is that people can give you their opinions, but
> they are just that, opinions. Only you can decide what is right for you and
> your child.
Absolutely.
-Ari
To reply via email
tofu at sanctuary dot nslug dot ns dot ca
Lyndsay Gibbs
I read the first post and thought Oh no another group of posts , saying its
alright to let your baby cry to sleep ... but .. hooray at last on this huge
planet I have found some people who dont think this is ok
How exciting
what a relief
wow
Its not ok at all its cruel and just a little selfish in my opinion
Thanks to this I now know I am not the only one in the world
My faith has been restored
Eric
I'm not sure what to do on this subject but least of all I don't want to do
something out of selfishness and most of all I want to do what is best for my
little girl. Natalie is almost 9 months old, for 3mo. she has been waking 3-4
times a night. It has gotton so she is cranky and whinning all the time during
the day and only takes cat naps 20 min during the day. She does not fall
asleep on her own I pretty much have to rock her with her bunny and that is
with her struggling a bit. She hates to go to sleep, very active and very
observant! She is so tired all the time she really is not feeling good like
herself. So I'm getting to the point where I am ready to try to let herself
cry during the nite when she awakens??? I feel it will be best for her if it
works. I've never done this and I too do not believe in letting her cry.
However, I will only do it for 5min the first night and then 10min. the second
nite and then 15min. If this does not work, I guess it will just go on the way
it has been because I really don't feel I could let her cry any longer than
this. Any suggestions??
sleepy and confused,
Becky
Ziggy wrote:
> I couldn;t agree more. This misguided stuff about allowing a baby to
> cry themself to sleep is absolutely dreadful.
> Babies are not made to sleep the same as adults, so it is pointless and
> destructive to expect them to do so just to fit in with our lives.
> If we go to the trouble of having a child and take on the
> responsibilities that come with it, then we must compromise and realise
> that we must fit OUR lives around our precious child rather than the
> reverse.
> Our babies grow up SO fast and this precious time is lost forever. A
> little patience and understanding is not too much to expect is it ?
> I also believe that a baby doesn't cry for longer than 5 or 10 minutes
> without good reason. THAT is what should be investigated.
>
> Ziggy
>
janelaw
I felt the same way. Apparently, there are all these books out
now with specific instructions on how to let your baby cry. It
was really nice to see that other parents are using some
compassion and common sense instead.
Barbara Fraire
Lyndsay Gibbs wrote:
> I read the first post and thought Oh no another group of posts ,
> saying its
> alright to let your baby cry to sleep ... but .. hooray at last on
> this huge
> planet I have found some people who dont think this is ok
> How exciting
> what a relief
> wow
> Its not ok at all its cruel and just a little selfish in my opinion
It's not *necessarily* cruel or selfish. My son has gone through periods
(once at 7 months, then again at 10.5 months) where the only place he
will sleep is in someone's arms (i.e., the second he is put down, either
in his crib or in our bed, he wakes up crying). Does he *need* me to
hold him all night? Should I stay up all night so that he can sleep in
my arms? Is it cruel and selfish for me to require him to sleep
somewhere other than my arms so that I can get some sleep myself? Am I
cruel to let him cry for 5-10 minutes for a few nights until he
"relearns" to sleep in his crib?
I hope you will agree that the answer to all these questions is "No".
If you don't agree, you must indeed be a rare person who can function on
1-2 hours of sleep. I am not that person!
At 11 months, my son is still up to nurse several times a night. I don't
mind this and I don't let him "cry it out" under these conditions. I do
let him cry for up to 10-12 minutes when any of the following is true:
1. He is absolutely exhausted but will not settle for the night (usually
sometime after 9:30 p.m.).
2. He cries upon being put in his crib after a night nursing session but
is obviously not hungry.
This doesn't happen every night, but it does happen. Since we *all* have
to function the next day, I feel a few minutes of crying, while
heart-wrenching, is sometimes a necessary evil.
Be well, Barbara (Julian's mom)
========================
"My idea of an agreeable person is someone who agrees with me." - Benjamin
Disraeli
Reply to ci...@worldnet.att.net
pug...@my-dejanews.com
In article <6moeng$b39$1...@nswpull.telstra.net>,
"Lyndsay Gibbs" <wrg...@tnet.com.au> wrote:
>
> I read the first post and thought Oh no another group of posts , saying its
> alright to let your baby cry to sleep ... but .. hooray at last on this huge
> planet I have found some people who dont think this is ok
> How exciting
> what a relief
> wow
> Its not ok at all its cruel and just a little selfish in my opinion
> My faith has been restored
>
I'm agreeing with your general sentiment. But I also wonder how we define
'selfish' here. We went through this dilemma with our baby around 6-7 months
when none of us were sleeping much at all. She woke constantly, and we were
all cranky a lot of the time. In the end we tried some Ferber things, in the
hopes of 'teaching' her to fall asleep on her own when she woke up in the
night, self soothing, that kind of thing. I think we had a comparatively easy
time of it, and perhaps wouldn't have been as able to do it if Bailey hadn't
really taken to the idea with little fuss. She began putting herself to sleep
in the evening, then again when she woke up throughout the night, then after
about a fortnight stopped waking at night.
Now she sleeps through every night and is a different baby, well rested,
happy, energetic. Her naps during the day are more regular, and we don't
spend stressful days constantly trying to get her to sleep bcz she is
constantly exhausted. We can actually make plans with her and go out and
enjoy our days. I don't know what state we would all have been in by now if
we had not done this. So I ask myself the question - is it perhaps selfish of
me to keep soothing/rocking etc every time she wakes, possibly because I
somewhere within myself can't deal with her crying even a little, not because
it is necessarily damaging to her, but because I find it difficult on an
emotional level for whatever reason, when perhaps teaching her to be self
sufficient would be kinder in a sense, as she is clearly capable of it, and
the the effect not doing so is to her detriment in terms of sleeplessness and
its negative impact on her baby life generally.
Just a thought. I'd be interested in what others think.
Megan.
Donna Kinney
Is she teething? If so, you might try giving her some Tylenol to see if it
improves her sleep and her disposition. The other thing that you might
want to be alert for is the possibility of an ear infection. The only
symptom that my daughters would display when their ears were infected was
frequent night waking with crying.
Good luck.
Donna Kinney
Eric <ErR...@ix.netcom.com> wrote in article
<358FFD6A...@ix.netcom.com>...
Lpshafer
Megan wrote:
<snipped others' opinions of "cruelty" of teaching babies/young children to
fall asleep on their own>
>I'm agreeing with your general sentiment. But I also wonder how we define
>'selfish' here. We went through this dilemma with our baby around 6-7 months
>when none of us were sleeping much at all. She woke constantly, and we were
>all cranky a lot of the time. In the end we tried some Ferber things, in the
>hopes of 'teaching' her to fall asleep on her own when she woke up in the
>night, self soothing, that kind of thing. I think we had a comparatively easy
>time of it, and perhaps wouldn't have been as able to do it if Bailey hadn't
>really taken to the idea with little fuss. She began putting herself to sleep
>in the evening, then again when she woke up throughout the night, then after
>about a fortnight stopped waking at night.
>
>Now she sleeps through every night and is a different baby, well rested,
>happy, energetic. Her naps during the day are more regular, and we don't
>spend stressful days constantly trying to get her to sleep bcz she is
>constantly exhausted. We can actually make plans with her and go out and
>enjoy our days. I don't know what state we would all have been in by now if
>we had not done this. So I ask myself the question - is it perhaps selfish of
>me to keep soothing/rocking etc every time she wakes, possibly because I
>somewhere within myself can't deal with her crying even a little, not because
>it is necessarily damaging to her, but because I find it difficult on an
>emotional level for whatever reason, when perhaps teaching her to be self
>sufficient would be kinder in a sense, as she is clearly capable of it, and
>the the effect not doing so is to her detriment in terms of sleeplessness and
>its negative impact on her baby life generally.
>
>Just a thought. I'd be interested in what others think.
>
Well said, Megan. Too many parents condemn those of us do things
differently from them. Now, if someone wants to rock, sing, nurse their child
to sleep every night indefinitely, I'll support that right; however, I'd like
the same respect from those parents when I choose to teach my child to fall
asleep on her own. She sleeps better, we sleep better, everybody's happy,
'nuff said.
Ivy Shafer, mom to Martha (8/7/92) and Molly (2/21/97)
Lyndsay Gibbs
This is probably the most reasonable argument I have ever heard on this
topic
Its a tough one when you put it that way , I feel though that looking at it
from a babies point of view ( although can we really do this ??) I think a
baby only has a notion of what things feel like in the present not in the
future .They do not have the reasoning ability to think " I know this is
tough on me now but it will be better in the long run " Like us adults do .
and sure it is better for you if you and you baby are not cranky or tired
because it makes thing very hard when you have to function with little sleep
,
Best answer is sleep with your babies then you get sleep they get cuddled to
sleep
thats what works for us anyhow .
Thanks for resposnding to my posts without feeling the need to be nasty
though
That too is a breath of fresh air :-)
Lyndsay
pug...@my-dejanews.com
In article <6mtdad$84j$1...@nswpull.telstra.net>,
"Lyndsay Gibbs" <wrg...@tnet.com.au> wrote:
>
> This is probably the most reasonable argument I have ever heard on this
> topic
Thanks.
> Its a tough one when you put it that way , I feel though that looking at it
> from a babies point of view ( although can we really do this ??) I think a
> baby only has a notion of what things feel like in the present not in the
> future .They do not have the reasoning ability to think " I know this is
> tough on me now but it will be better in the long run " Like us adults do .
> and sure it is better for you if you and you baby are not cranky or tired
> because it makes thing very hard when you have to function with little sleep
Yeah, I agree. I think babies operate pretty much in the present too. That
makes it hard. But I guess I thought - I'm the big person here who's blessed
with the long term view, so I guess it's up to me to make the difficult
choices, if that's what seems to be needed.
> Best answer is sleep with your babies then you get sleep they get cuddled to
> sleep
> thats what works for us anyhow .
Again we agree. We did the family bed thing for about 6 months, until we all
started waking each other up constantly, then we decided 'twas time for a
change and didn't look back (although I was pretty sad for a while..). Now
that she goes to bed so early sleeping separately is easier too.
I hope you enjoy your cuddles. Sometimes in the night I do feel the urge to go
and get her...