I'm at my wits end and need some advice.....my wife and I have been trying to potty train my daughter who is 2 and a half.
We have been trying off and on since she was 18mos.
Here's what we have tried so far:
1. various reward incentives starting with a calendar and stars for a successful attempt, and ending up with gummie bears or a sucker for sitting.
2.we have a multi use potty that will work as a stand alone and convert into a snap on for the toilet. we tried with the potty everywhere in the house to dedicating the downstairs washroom as her own personal bathroom.
3. we bought "big girl" pants and now have her wearing them instead of diapers during the day. We have tried a schedule of when she sits and tried putting her on the potty when mommy or daddy is going.
A little bit of background.....we are not overbearing...many times before we have taken a break from potty training because it seemed as if we were doing more harm than good. She understands what the potty is for and has seenother children use one but resits using it herself. My wife is a stay at home mother so she can dedicate a lot of time to training. This attempt beagn 2 weeks ago an we have no significant progress other than she doesnt urinate until afternoon ( which we feel is a development in bladder control?)
> I'm at my wits end and need some advice.....my wife and I have been trying > to potty train my daughter who is 2 and a half.
> We have been trying off and on since she was 18mos.
> Here's what we have tried so far:
> 1. various reward incentives starting with a calendar and stars for a > successful attempt, and ending up with gummie bears or a sucker for sitting.
> 2.we have a multi use potty that will work as a stand alone and convert into > a snap on for the toilet. we tried with the potty everywhere in the house > to dedicating the downstairs washroom as her own personal bathroom.
> 3. we bought "big girl" pants and now have her wearing them instead of > diapers during the day. We have tried a schedule of when she sits and tried > putting her on the potty when mommy or daddy is going.
> A little bit of background.....we are not overbearing...many times before we > have taken a break from potty training because it seemed as if we were doing > more harm than good. She understands what the potty is for and has seenother > children use one but resits using it herself. My wife is a stay at home > mother so she can dedicate a lot of time to training. This attempt beagn 2 > weeks ago an we have no significant progress other than she doesnt urinate > until afternoon ( which we feel is a development in bladder control?)
> ideas anyone?
Personally, I think you should abandon the whole idea for a while longer. You started at 18 months, and that is way too young, imo. She clearly isn't ready, and you've been trying for a year, off and on. She's not going to train until *she's* ready to. Plain and simple. My son was over 3 when he finally trained, and it was a matter of my noticing he remained dry overnight for a week, we switched to "big boy" pants, and he never had one single accident. If you aren't seeing any progress in the two weeks you've started trying again, she clearly isn't ready. And, imo, the more you try, the more resistant she may become to it. -- ~Nan~<-- Remove XX to e-mail me :-)
Wait till she's older and says "I don't want diapers. I want underwear". Trust me, I never expected to have a kid *so old* still in diapers but my daughter wasn't ready till she was 2.10 yrs old. Personally I don't see how it'll happen if the child isn't ready. And when they're older it's quicker and with less accidents.
Let's see, you've been *training* your daughter for a year now. Mine decided *one day* that was it. Not saying we haven't had *any* accidents but I think you need to wait.
JMO of course.
-- Sophie mom to Charlotte (6/98) Patrick (11/99) #3 due 12/20 See us at www.mcgehees.com
> I'm at my wits end and need some advice.....my wife and I have been trying > to potty train my daughter who is 2 and a half.
> We have been trying off and on since she was 18mos.
> Here's what we have tried so far:
> 1. various reward incentives starting with a calendar and stars for a > successful attempt, and ending up with gummie bears or a sucker for sitting.
> 2.we have a multi use potty that will work as a stand alone and convert into > a snap on for the toilet. we tried with the potty everywhere in the house > to dedicating the downstairs washroom as her own personal bathroom.
> 3. we bought "big girl" pants and now have her wearing them instead of > diapers during the day. We have tried a schedule of when she sits and tried > putting her on the potty when mommy or daddy is going.
> A little bit of background.....we are not overbearing...many times before we > have taken a break from potty training because it seemed as if we were doing > more harm than good. She understands what the potty is for and has seenother > children use one but resits using it herself. My wife is a stay at home > mother so she can dedicate a lot of time to training. This attempt beagn 2 > weeks ago an we have no significant progress other than she doesnt urinate > until afternoon ( which we feel is a development in bladder control?)
It sounds like she is not ready. Potty training requires the child to be willing to use the potty - if she doesn't want to, there is no way you can make her and trying just makes her more resistant.
It is very much more usual these days for children not to train until they are three or more. My daughter trained at 2.11 when she finally decided she wanted to sit on the potty. Before that she wasn't interested. Training was practically overnight and she had very few accidents, so we didn't have to run around reminding her, or cleaning up her mess.
I would say back off your daughter before you make her so sick of the whole potty thing that she won't want to go near it until she's five.
<jourdanamo...@home.com> wrote: >I'm at my wits end and need some advice.....my wife and I have been trying >to potty train my daughter who is 2 and a half.
>We have been trying off and on since she was 18mos.
>Here's what we have tried so far:
>1. various reward incentives starting with a calendar and stars for a >successful attempt, and ending up with gummie bears or a sucker for sitting.
>2.we have a multi use potty that will work as a stand alone and convert into >a snap on for the toilet. we tried with the potty everywhere in the house >to dedicating the downstairs washroom as her own personal bathroom.
>3. we bought "big girl" pants and now have her wearing them instead of >diapers during the day. We have tried a schedule of when she sits and tried >putting her on the potty when mommy or daddy is going.
>A little bit of background.....we are not overbearing...many times before we >have taken a break from potty training because it seemed as if we were doing >more harm than good. She understands what the potty is for and has seenother >children use one but resits using it herself. My wife is a stay at home >mother so she can dedicate a lot of time to training. This attempt beagn 2 >weeks ago an we have no significant progress other than she doesnt urinate >until afternoon ( which we feel is a development in bladder control?)
> I'm at my wits end and need some advice.....my wife and I have been trying > to potty train my daughter who is 2 and a half.
> We have been trying off and on since she was 18mos.
> Here's what we have tried so far:
> 1. various reward incentives starting with a calendar and stars for a > successful attempt, and ending up with gummie bears or a sucker for sitting.
> 2.we have a multi use potty that will work as a stand alone and convert into > a snap on for the toilet. we tried with the potty everywhere in the house > to dedicating the downstairs washroom as her own personal bathroom.
> 3. we bought "big girl" pants and now have her wearing them instead of > diapers during the day. We have tried a schedule of when she sits and tried > putting her on the potty when mommy or daddy is going.
> A little bit of background.....we are not overbearing...many times before we > have taken a break from potty training because it seemed as if we were doing > more harm than good. She understands what the potty is for and has seenother > children use one but resits using it herself. My wife is a stay at home > mother so she can dedicate a lot of time to training. This attempt beagn 2 > weeks ago an we have no significant progress other than she doesnt urinate > until afternoon ( which we feel is a development in bladder control?)
> ideas anyone?
------------------ Two and a half is WAAAY too young for some kids (let ALONE 18 months!!).
The process relies on the development of fine nervous control of the end of the alimentary canal, which is the last thing to develop in childhood. It is a matter of brain development and maturity and just a backlog of sensory experience producing long term trained reflexes.
It cannot EVEN BE rushed, and the danger of traumatizing a child EVEN WITH THE BEST OF INTENTIONS cannot BE understated!! It is like whistling and wiggling your ears and rolling your tongue funny, kids CANNOT DO IT till they CAN, and then it is automatic.
People who don't even TRY to train their kids have them typically stop shitting in their diaper ON THEIR OWN by age 3.5 EVEN IF THEY LEAVE THEM IN DIAPERS!
It is just as stupid and obnoxious as trying to teach kids to walk and being pissed if they don't!!! Steve
Kevin, please trust me when I say this.. My daughter will be three next month and I had felt so much pressure to get her potty trained. Everyone I knew, including this newsgroup, told me to hand the reins over to her and let her decide when it's time to use the potty. Eighteen months is entirely too young to have started. Forget the peer pressure. I have absolutely no respect for people who *show off* their kids when they have been potty trained at 18 months or anytime around then.That doesn't prove a damned thing, but the insecurity of the parent in having to use their own child to attempt to make them look like a great parent. Your daughter will be all the more *put together* as she grows up if you give her some control over some of these things. Forget the potty training for a few months and then pick it up again. But ask her if she would like to use it. If she says no, then don't make her. Wait a week and ask her again. At some point, she will say yes and like the others say here, it may only take one day.
This is what I did with my daughter ... I started asking her at 2 1/2,and every time she said no, I felt more and more pressured. She was refusing all the time. Finally people told me to just leave her alone so I did. About two weeks ago, I asked her out of the blue if she'd like to sit on the potty and she said yes, and every couple of hours, she agreed to go on the potty. Now, she is telling me on her own when she needs to go and gets a big thrill out of being a big girl. I feel ridiculous for having felt pressured to get her trained right away. By the way, I know a little girl who is four years old and still in pull ups because the parents have been at loose ends with her over the issue for a couple of years now. You don't want it to get to that point. Let your daughter enjoy her toddler years without the pressure of using the potty. Soon enough, she will surprise the heck out of you by announcing she has to go and you will wonder why it bothered you in the first place.
(By the way, your methods are very good, you might want to incorporate them when she agrees to want to use the potty at a later time, just for positive reinforcement.)
According to HeadStart it is quite normal for children to not be potty trained until the age of 3. Last year out of a class of 20 children all 3 year olds. Only about 4 were potty trained including my son. I am in the same situation as you. My daughter will be 2 next month. She will sit on the potty but she will not go pee or poop in it! I am sure my daughter will come around when she feels like it. It does the child no good to pressure them into doing something they don't want to do.
> I'm at my wits end and need some advice.....my wife and I have been trying > to potty train my daughter who is 2 and a half.
> We have been trying off and on since she was 18mos.
Obviously, your daughter is not ready yet. Give her time. My daughter was almost 3 and a half before she was potty trained. Children have minds of their own and we as parents must be able to respect them for this.
Dana Bird <thebirds.2...@home.com> wrote in message <news:3BB5F52D.4CA24DE9@home.com>... > > I'm at my wits end and need some advice.....my wife and I have been trying > > to potty train my daughter who is 2 and a half.
> > We have been trying off and on since she was 18mos.
> Obviously, your daughter is not ready yet. Give her time. My daughter > was almost 3 and a half before she was potty trained. Children have > minds of their own and we as parents must be able to respect them for > this.
A child development expert I know (my wife) with considerable experience put it to me this way:
From birth onward, through weaning, walking, talking, children experience less and less contact and intimate connection and attention. PT is the ultimate, to the child, insult to this bond with the caregiver. Now he or she can't even get some touch and attention by pooping and peeing. Pretty sad.
On the light side, of course, she also pointed out to me that potty training of her kids (and mine.....though they were two different sets of kids...we married late in life) tended to be easier because we both were attentive parents that gave a lot of cuddles and play with our kids no matter what developmental stage they were at.
I checked it out.....and sure enough, the current thinking in books and articles on the subject agree with her. If you give the child at least the same amount of attention for going potty as you did during diaper changes the job is much much easier and shorter. `Course that kind of defeats one of our reasons for wanting our kids potty trained, no?
So much for my 3 cents worth (well, don't blame me for inflation).
