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Death of right to say "no" without excuses
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Lenona
Jan 26, 2012, 11:10:34 AM1/26/12
to
(I'd post this in the Miss Manners ng, but that group is pretty much
dead.)
http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/annies-mailbox/the-other-grandparents-give-better-gifts.html
(some of the comments are pretty good)
Dear Annie: I am a 72-year-old man living in a senior citizen
apartment complex.
I'm fit, active and in good health, and I still love the ladies. (They
outnumber us about 10 to one.)
I always behave like a gentleman when I go out with a lady, and I get
along fine with them until the subject of sex comes up. I am sensitive
and don't bring it up until we've been out a few times and have gotten
to know each other pretty well.
My question is: Why are older women absolutely terrified of sex? To
me, it's the natural thing to do after a relationship has progressed
to a certain point. I don't get it. What are they afraid of? —
Loveless in Spokane
Dear Spokane: They may be afraid that you will be disappointed with
their aging bodies, that they will feel inadequate and unattractive,
that they may contract an STD, or that you will lose interest once you
have slept with them. But we suspect you may be misinterpreting their
response. They may not be terrified, but rather repelled by the idea
of sex. They enjoy the courting and cuddling, but that's it. However,
not all older women feel this way, so by all means, keep looking.
One reader's response:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/angry-with-angry-birds.html
(there are 63 comments so far)
Dear Annie: I disagree with your response to "Loveless in Spokane,"
the 72-year-old geezer who thinks women in his senior complex should
bed down with him after they have dated a "few times."
These ladies, and it is obvious they are ladies, were born and raised
in an era when good girls did not have sex with a man until after they
were married. This old guy is a cad. — Senior Citizen Who Respects
Women
Dear Senior: Many readers pointed out that these women may not wish to
have sex outside of marriage, a perfectly respectable position. If
that's the case, however, they should tell him so he understands the
ground rules and doesn't keep badgering them.
(end)
And, here's what I wrote:
Dear Annies,
I was alarmed at your response to "Senior Citizen Who Respects Women."
You said: "Many readers pointed out that these women may not wish to
have sex outside of marriage, a perfectly respectable position. If
that's the case, however, they should tell him so he understands the
ground rules and doesn't keep badgering them."
Why should the WOMEN have to explain themselves? Even if 99% of women
of all ages were having premarital sex, that would not obligate any
woman (or man) to do so, so why should anyone have to EXPLAIN refusals
to have sex?
As Miss Manners once wrote: "A lady does not give reasons for not
being accessible to a particular gentleman. She doesn`t explain why
she won`t go out with him, she doesn`t explain why she won`t marry him
and she doesn`t explain why she won`t do anything in between.
"The very notion that every lady would yield, if she didn`t have a
compelling reason not to, is insulting. However, the rule against
explaining is not made for the convenience of ladies so much as it is
for the protection of gentlemen. They may think they want to hear why
a particular lady is turning them down, but they are mighty unhappy
when they do."
Or, to look at it another way, premarital sex is NOT the same as
casual sex, something that most women stop enjoying upon reaching 40
or so. Therefore, no man should be surprised to find that women over
that age want a level of commitment that might be higher than what he
wants.
Lenona.
dead.)
http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/annies-mailbox/the-other-grandparents-give-better-gifts.html
(some of the comments are pretty good)
Dear Annie: I am a 72-year-old man living in a senior citizen
apartment complex.
I'm fit, active and in good health, and I still love the ladies. (They
outnumber us about 10 to one.)
I always behave like a gentleman when I go out with a lady, and I get
along fine with them until the subject of sex comes up. I am sensitive
and don't bring it up until we've been out a few times and have gotten
to know each other pretty well.
My question is: Why are older women absolutely terrified of sex? To
me, it's the natural thing to do after a relationship has progressed
to a certain point. I don't get it. What are they afraid of? —
Loveless in Spokane
Dear Spokane: They may be afraid that you will be disappointed with
their aging bodies, that they will feel inadequate and unattractive,
that they may contract an STD, or that you will lose interest once you
have slept with them. But we suspect you may be misinterpreting their
response. They may not be terrified, but rather repelled by the idea
of sex. They enjoy the courting and cuddling, but that's it. However,
not all older women feel this way, so by all means, keep looking.
One reader's response:
http://www.creators.com/advice/annies-mailbox/angry-with-angry-birds.html
(there are 63 comments so far)
Dear Annie: I disagree with your response to "Loveless in Spokane,"
the 72-year-old geezer who thinks women in his senior complex should
bed down with him after they have dated a "few times."
These ladies, and it is obvious they are ladies, were born and raised
in an era when good girls did not have sex with a man until after they
were married. This old guy is a cad. — Senior Citizen Who Respects
Women
Dear Senior: Many readers pointed out that these women may not wish to
have sex outside of marriage, a perfectly respectable position. If
that's the case, however, they should tell him so he understands the
ground rules and doesn't keep badgering them.
(end)
And, here's what I wrote:
Dear Annies,
I was alarmed at your response to "Senior Citizen Who Respects Women."
You said: "Many readers pointed out that these women may not wish to
have sex outside of marriage, a perfectly respectable position. If
that's the case, however, they should tell him so he understands the
ground rules and doesn't keep badgering them."
Why should the WOMEN have to explain themselves? Even if 99% of women
of all ages were having premarital sex, that would not obligate any
woman (or man) to do so, so why should anyone have to EXPLAIN refusals
to have sex?
As Miss Manners once wrote: "A lady does not give reasons for not
being accessible to a particular gentleman. She doesn`t explain why
she won`t go out with him, she doesn`t explain why she won`t marry him
and she doesn`t explain why she won`t do anything in between.
"The very notion that every lady would yield, if she didn`t have a
compelling reason not to, is insulting. However, the rule against
explaining is not made for the convenience of ladies so much as it is
for the protection of gentlemen. They may think they want to hear why
a particular lady is turning them down, but they are mighty unhappy
when they do."
Or, to look at it another way, premarital sex is NOT the same as
casual sex, something that most women stop enjoying upon reaching 40
or so. Therefore, no man should be surprised to find that women over
that age want a level of commitment that might be higher than what he
wants.
Lenona.
Charlene
Jan 26, 2012, 11:36:44 AM1/26/12
to
On Jan 26, 10:10 am, Lenona <lenona...@yahoo.com> wrote:
>
> Or, to look at it another way, premarital sex is NOT the same as
> casual sex, something that most women stop enjoying upon reaching 40
> or so. Therefore, no man should be surprised to find that women over
> that age want a level of commitment that might be higher than what he
> wants.
>
> Lenona.
Or maybe he just doesn't bathe regularly.
>
> Or, to look at it another way, premarital sex is NOT the same as
> casual sex, something that most women stop enjoying upon reaching 40
> or so. Therefore, no man should be surprised to find that women over
> that age want a level of commitment that might be higher than what he
> wants.
>
> Lenona.
wd47
Beaver Fever
Jan 26, 2012, 4:29:41 PM1/26/12
to
On Jan 26, 8:10 am, Lenona <lenona...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> (I'd post this in the Miss Manners ng, but that group is pretty much
> dead.)
>
I can start posting there if you want.
> (I'd post this in the Miss Manners ng, but that group is pretty much
> dead.)
>
> http://www.creators.com/lifestylefeatures/business-and-finance/annies...
> (some of the comments are pretty good)
>
> Dear Annie: I am a 72-year-old man living in a senior citizen
> apartment complex.
>
> I'm fit, active and in good health, and I still love the ladies. (They
> outnumber us about 10 to one.)
Maybe getting old isn't such a bad idea.
>
> Dear Annie: I am a 72-year-old man living in a senior citizen
> apartment complex.
>
> I'm fit, active and in good health, and I still love the ladies. (They
> outnumber us about 10 to one.)
MWB
Jan 26, 2012, 5:46:36 PM1/26/12
to
Hey Bill...you should update your Facebook page.
I didn't know you lived in Spokane.
GO PATRIOTS
Mark
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