A complete military history of the USA
assurancetourix
must now pay for their protection. Ungratefull settlers who are
already allergic to taxes go on a rampage and attack tea boxes on a
ship; several Americans are wounded by the boxes but succeed to escape
on time.
Americans win their sole victory in Saratoga when general Burgoyne
realise that Canadian merchants sold him ragweed instead of tea before
his departure. Unable to get new provisions and facing a mutinery he
decides to surrender.
In the following years Americans will lose most of the time due to
their lack of discipline and massive desertions. The British now
control the South and parts of the North. In 1781 30,000 French
soldiers & sailors accept to integrate 11,000 American mascots who
will play music from far while the French win the Yorktown battle.
1812: Grossly overestimating the American numerical superiority to
50-1 the congress decides to invade Canada. However the US
documentation was deprecated as the USA was only 20 time more
populous, the American army is thus crushed and the US abandon its
plan to annex Canada.
During the 19 the century, several raids are led against Indian women
and babies and the US troops achieve some victories but fail to
liquidate all. Neverthless some sucessful slaughters will lead them to
believe that they are mighty and couragous warriors.
1861-1865: Americans win an impressive victory against themselves but
it took a while.
1898: The Spanish succeed a master coup and get ride of
Cuba,Porto-Rico and the Philippines at the expend of the Americans,
leaving them the impression that they won the war. Soon the US
discover that there is no oil there, and that their new possesions are
a waste basket more than anything else.
1900-1950: A series of military interventions against banana republics
in SA and the Caraibes and people armed with slingshots have a benefic
effect on the American ego
1918: The Americans arrive just on time to see the victory of the
French and the British against the Germans.
1941-1945: While millions of Russians bleed to death the Wermach and
pay a heavy price, the US wait until the Germans have no choice than
to align 14 years old soldiers to launch their assault. They are still
saying today that they suffered heavy loses at their hands.
1950-1953: The US fails to beat North Korea, in 1953 the borders are
still roughly what they were 3 years earlier.
1963-1973: Americans suffer cruelly from the lack of AC and marijuana
of a poor quality in VietNam. When they realize that their soldiers
can be killed in a war they retreat.
1983: The combined aviation, navy and ground troops apply an audacious
plan and succeed to beat a bunch of cuban workers armed with shovels
in Grenada.
1991: Americans align more soldiers than the French or the British and
succeed to crush an army of barefoot shiite drafted against their
will. The Daguet division leads the charge while American soldiers
console themself in making prisoners that TV crews did not want.