today was commodity day in kingman

[nrunni...@gmail.com]

today, i went to pick up my commodities.
it is about a 50 mile round trip.
but it is worth it.
not like it used to be, now here we get some juice, a few cans of
veggies, a few cans of fruit, powdered milk, some canned milk, a
pound of velveeta like cheese.
rice, or macaroni, or beans.
it's for the old folks, and i am grateful.
those few cans of veggies sometimes makes the difference whether i eat
at the end of the month or not.
today, i tried to heft the box from the stack, and dropped it.
my arm just wouldn't hold it.
these arms that could hoist a 100 pound sack of feed on each shoulder,
could not even lift a box of food stuffs.
one of the men carried it to my van for me.
i sat and just held my shoulder, that judas shoulder.
andromeda and i just sat there.
andromeda is my van's name.
she is a ford aerostar, and i thought to give her a fine name, so she
would be inpsired to go further than she really wants to.
and she has.
her tranny, rear end and front wheels are making some awful funny
sounds, and as i don't have the money to get her all fixed up, she and
i both know she will soon be joining my other dear motored friends and
used for storage.
she knows i won't abandon her to some junk heap.
she has served me too well, better than most humans have.
anyway, she and i sat there and thought about the old age that was
upon us.
she was feeling blue, i could tell, bcause when she is blue, she is
sluggish on the mountain pass that is twixt home and town.
i, too, was feeling blue.
but i came home, and my dear friend, lois, sent this to me, and i
thought i would share.

~~~~~~~~
grandma's hands
Grandma, some ninety plus years, sat feebly on the patio bench. She
didn't move, just sat with her head down staring at her hands.

When I sat down beside her she didn't acknowledge my presence and
the
longer I sat I wondered if she was OK.

Finally, not really wanting to disturb her but wanting to check on
her at
the same time, I asked her if she was OK. She raised her head and
looked
at me and smiled. 'Yes, I'm fine, thank you for asking,' she said in a
clear
strong voice.

'I didn't mean to disturb you, grandma, but you were just sitting here
staring at your hands and I wanted to make sure you were OK,' I
explained
to her.

'Have you ever looked at your hands,' she asked. 'I mean really
looked at
your hands?'

I slowly opened my hands and stared down at them. I turned them
over,
palms up and then palms down. No, I guess I had never really looked at
my hands
as I tried to figure out the point she was making..

Grandma smiled and related this story:

Stop and think for a moment about the hands you have, how they have
served you well throughout your years. These hands, though wrinkled
shriveled
and weak have been the tools I have used all my life to reach out and
grab
and embrace life.

They braced and caught my fall when as a toddler I crashed upon the
floor.

They put food in my mouth and clothes on my back. They tied my shoes
and
pulled on my boots.
They held my husband and wiped my tears when he went off to war.

They have been dirty, scraped and raw, swollen and bent. They were
uneasy
and clumsy when I tried to hold my newborn son. Decorated with my
wedding
band they showed the world that I was married and loved someone
special.

They wrote my letters to him and trembled and shook when I buried my
parents and spouse.

They have held my children and grandchildren, consoled neighbors,
and
shook in fists of anger when I didn't understand.

They have covered my face, combed my hair, and washed and cleansed
the
rest of my body. They have been sticky and wet, bent and broken,
dried and
raw.
And to this day when not much of anything else of me works real well
these hands hold me up, lay me down.

These hands are the mark of where I've been and the ruggedness of
life.

I will never look at my hands the same again. When my hands are hurt
or
sore or when I stroke the face of my children and husband I think of
grandma.

author unknown

[Monica]

Thanks Wolfie. I needed that.

[blut...@gmail.com]

Aloha Wolfie,
I hope your shoulder feels better today, I have chronic bursitis in
both shoulders so I have to be careful.
I do take advantage when there is a young strong person around to do
the heavy lifting. It always
puts a smile on just for helping out.
Thank you for sharing "Grandma's Hands" I am loosing the use of my
hands, every time I get a a little down
I look at my hands and remember the jobs that gave me the most
satisfaction helping people. I think about what my hands have made for
my friends and family and art clients
the joy my hands have brought. I spent my healthy years doing things
for other people who were not able never
expecting to be disabled myself. I don't feel sorry for what I cannot
do any longer I did plenty and learned from
people I did help how to accept help now. Your story reminds me of my
grandma's hands, she has been gone 30
yrs now but I can still feel her hands holding my face telling me how
much she loves me. I hold my own grand kids
faces that way as specialy for her. You are a dear one Wolfie, thank
you again for the story and please take care of
your shoulder!