Post-modernism
h.p...@icrf.icnet.uk
A friend -- thanks Eva! -- forwarded this to me. It seemed very relevant to
recent discussion on a.m.y. and r.m.p.:
JENNY JONES: Boy, we have a show for you today!
Recently, the University of Virginia philosopher
Richard Rorty made the stunning declaration that nobody
has "the foggiest idea" what postmodernism means.
"It would be nice to get rid of it," he said. "It isn't
exactly an idea; it's a word that pretends to stand for an
idea."
This shocking admission that there is no such thing as
postmodernism has produced a firestorm of protest around the
country. Thousands of authors, critics and graduate students
who'd considered themselves postmodernists are outraged at
the betrayal.
Today we have with us a writer -- a recovering postmodernist--
who believes that his literary career and personal life have been
irreparably damaged by the theory, and who feels defrauded by the
academics who promulgated it. He wishes to remain anonymous,
so we'll call him "Alex."
Alex, as an adolescent, before you began experimenting with
postmodernism, you considered yourself -- what?
Close shot of ALEX.
An electronic blob obscures his face. Words appear at bottom
of screen: "Says he was traumatized by postmodernism and
blames academics."
ALEX (his voice electronically altered): A high modernist.
Y'know, Pound, Eliot, Georges Braque, Wallace Stevens,
Arnold Schoenberg, Mies van der Rohe. I had all of
Schoenberg's 78's.
JENNY JONES: And then you started reading people like
Jean-Francois Lyotard and Jean Baudrillard -- how did that
change your feelings about your modernist heroes?
ALEX: I suddenly felt that they were, like, stifling
and canonical.
JENNY JONES: Stifling and canonical? That is so sad, such
a waste. How old were you when you first read Fredric
Jameson?
ALEX: Nine, I think.
The AUDIENCE gasps.
JENNY JONES: We have some pictures of young Alex. ...
We see snapshots of 14-year-old ALEX reading Gilles Deleuze
and Felix Guattari's "Anti-Oedipus: Capitalism and
Schizophrenia." The AUDIENCE oohs and ahs.
ALEX: We used to go to a friend's house after school --
y'know, his parents were never home -- and we'd read, like,
Paul Virilio and Julia Kristeva.
JENNY JONES: So you're only 14, and you're already skeptical
toward the "grand narratives" of modernity, you're questioning
any belief system that claims universality or transcendence. Why?
ALEX: I guess -- to be cool.
JENNY JONES: So, peer pressure?
ALEX: I guess.
JENNY JONES: And do you remember how you felt the very first
time you entertained the notion that you and your universe
are constituted by language -- that reality is a cultural
construct, a "text" whose meaning is determined by infinite
associations with other"texts"?
ALEX: Uh, it felt, like, good. I wanted to do it again.
The AUDIENCE groans.
JENNY JONES: You were arrested at about this time?
ALEX: For spray-painting "The Hermeneutics of Indeterminacy" on
an overpass.
JENNY JONES: You're the child of a mixed marriage -- is that
right?
ALEX: My father was a de Stijl Wittgensteinian and my mom was
a neo-pre-Raphaelite.
JENNY JONES: Do you think that growing up in a mixed marriage
made you more vulnerable to the siren song of postmodernism?
ALEX: Absolutely. It's hard when you're a little kid not to
be able to just come right out and say (sniffles), y'know,
I'm an Imagist or I'm a phenomenologist or I'm a post-painterly
abstractionist. It's really hard -- especially around the
holidays. (He cries.)
JENNY JONES: I hear you. Was your wife a postmodernist?
ALEX: Yes. She was raised avant-pop, which is a fundamentalist
offshoot of postmodernism.
JENNY JONES: How did she react to Rorty's admission that
postmodernism was essentially a hoax?
ALEX: She was devastated. I mean, she's got all the John Zorn
albums and the entire Semiotext(e) series. She was crushed.
We see ALEX'S WIFE in the audience, weeping softly, her
hands covering her face.
JENNY JONES: And you were raising your daughter as a postmodernist?
ALEX: Of course. That's what makes this particularly tragic.
mean, how do you explain to a 5-year-old that self-consciously
recycling cultural detritus is suddenly no longer a valid art
form when, for her entire life, she's been taught that it is?
JENNY JONES: Tell us how you think postmodernism
affected your career as a novelist.
ALEX: I disavowed writing that contained real ideas or any real
passion. My work became disjunctive, facetious and nihilistic.
It was all blank parody, irony enveloped in more irony.
It merely recapitulated the pernicious banality of television
and advertising. I found myself indiscriminately incorporating
any and all kinds of pop kitsch and shlock. (He begins to weep
again.)
JENNY JONES: And this spilled over into your personal life?
ALEX: It was impossible for me to experience life with any
emotional intensity. I couldn't control the irony anymore. I
perceived my own feelings as if they were in quotes.
I italicized everything and everyone. It became impossible
for me to appraise the quality of anything. To me everything
was equivalent-- the Brandenburg Concertos and the Lysol
jingle had the same value.... (He breaks down, sobbing.)
JENNY JONES: Now, you're involved in a lawsuit, aren't you?
ALEX: Yes. I'm suing the Modern Language Association.
JENNY JONES: How confident are you about winning?
ALEX: We need to prove that, while they were actively
propounding it, academics knew all along that postmodernism
was a specious theory. If we can unearth some intradepartmental
memos -- y'know, a paper trail-- any corroboration that they
knew postmodernism was worthless cant at the same time they
were teaching it, then I think we have an excellent shot at
establishing liability.
JENNY JONES wades into audience and proffers microphone to a
woman.
WOMAN (with lateral head-bobbing): It's ironic that Barry
Scheck is representing the M.L.A. in this litigation because
Scheck is the postmodern attorney par excellence. This is the
guy who's made a career of volatilizing truth in the
simulacrum of exculpation!
VOICE FROM AUDIENCE: You go, girl!
WOMAN: Scheck is the guy who came up with the quintessentially
postmodern re-bleed defense for O. J., which claims that O.J.
merely vigorously shook Ron and Nicole, thereby re-aggravating
pre-existing knife wounds. I'd just like to say to any client of
Barry-- lose that zero and get a hero!
The AUDIENCE cheers wildly.
WOMAN: Uh, I forgot my question.
Dissolve to message on screen:
If you believe that mathematician Andrew Wiles' proof of
Fermat's last theorem has caused you or a member of your
family to dress too provocatively, call (800) 555-9455.
Dissolve back to studio.In the audience, JENNY JONES
extends the microphone to a man in his mid-30's with a
scruffy beard and a bandana around his head.
MAN WITH BANDANA: I'd like to say that this "Alex" is
the single worst example of pointless irony in American
literature, and this whole heartfelt renunciation of
postmodernism is a ploy -- it's just more irony.
The AUDIENCE whistles andhoots.
ALEX: You think this is a ploy?! (He tears futilely at the
electronic blob.) This is my face!
The AUDIENCE recoils in horror.
ALEX: This is what can happen to people who naively embrace
postmodernism, to people who believe that the individual--
the autonomous, individualist subject-- is dead. They become a
palimpsest of media pastiche-- a mask of metastatic irony.
JENNY JONES (biting lip and shaking her head): That is so
sad. Alex-- final words?
ALEX: I'd just like to say that self-consciousness and irony
seem like fun at first, but they can destroy your life. I know.
You gotta be earnest, be real. Real feelings are important.
Objective reality does exist. AUDIENCE members whoop, stomp and
pump fists in the air.
JENNY JONES: I'd like to thank Alex for having the
courage to come on today and share his experience with us.
Join us for tomorrow's show, "The End of Manichean, Bipolar
Geopolitics Turned My Boyfriend Into an Insatiable Sex Freak
(and I Love It!)."
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Dirk Evans
This very funny post reminds me of the "anti-christ of the week" thread.
h.p...@icrf.icnet.uk wrote in message <6fqog7$h5d$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>...
>A friend -- thanks Eva! -- forwarded this to me. It seemed very relevant to
>recent discussion on a.m.y. and r.m.p.:
>
>
>JENNY JONES: Boy, we have a show for you today!
>
>Recently, the University of Virginia philosopher
>Richard Rorty made the stunning declaration that nobody
>has "the foggiest idea" what postmodernism means.
>"It would be nice to get rid of it," he said. "It isn't
>exactly an idea; it's a word that pretends to stand for an
>idea."
<<snip snip - OUCH!>>
John H Trimble
Now I know it's very PoMo to appropriate "texts" Henry, but I still believe in
giving the author his/her due:
The author is Mark Leyner (the title of the piece is "Geraldo, Eat Your
Avant-Pop Heart Out")
If you liked it check out "Et tu Babe" & "Tooth Imprints on a Corn Dog"
If you really liked it, also check out "My Cousin, My Gastroenterologist" & "I
Smell Esther Williams"
A prof of mine who turned me onto Leyner in '91 (his blurb appears on the
jacket to MCMG) and most of the names mentioned, was "cuckoo for PoMo puffs"!
I find it ironic that Leyner whose name was always mentioned within the same
breath as PoMo, is poking fun/popping the bubble of the intellectual
rationalization for publishing papers about sitcoms.
What seems to have begun as a way to force open the canon of the academy
(getting authors other than "dead white men" read in Lit 101) has truly opened
the floodgates through which the effluent of (much) pop culture has rushed in
. . .
h.p...@icrf.icnet.uk wrote:
> A friend -- thanks Eva! -- forwarded this to me. It seemed very relevant to
> recent discussion on a.m.y. and r.m.p.:
>
> JENNY JONES: Boy, we have a show for you today!
>
> Recently, the University of Virginia philosopher
> Richard Rorty made the stunning declaration that nobody
> has "the foggiest idea" what postmodernism means.
> "It would be nice to get rid of it," he said. "It isn't
> exactly an idea; it's a word that pretends to stand for an
> idea."
(snip)
> JENNY JONES: I hear you. Was your wife a postmodernist?
>
> ALEX: Yes. She was raised avant-pop, which is a fundamentalist
> offshoot of postmodernism.
>
> JENNY JONES: How did she react to Rorty's admission that
> postmodernism was essentially a hoax?
>
> ALEX: She was devastated. I mean, she's got all the John Zorn
> albums and the entire Semiotext(e) series. She was crushed.
(snip)
However, some of the stuff by Zorn particularly the Naked City albums are
great fun at an incredibly sophisticated musical level. Those guys (Zorn,
Alto Sax; Bill Frisell, guitar; Fred Frith, bass; Wayne Horvitz, keys; Joey
Baron, drums) whom I was lucky enough to see at the Knitting Factory at their
final performances (NYC September '93) were truly the most adept
instrumentalists to mess with pop (and I mean all forms of pop) music . . .
their influence is still growing. Within thirty seconds the band would careen
from country two-step, noisecore, lounge, waltz, and tango, to cartoon music
and back again. To see these guys sight-reading the pieces, making insane
time changes and stopping a piece that they screwed up to start over was
astounding. They band also did covers of Messiaen, Debussy and Orlando Di
Lassus that were very beautiful.
Zorn is now mellowing, doing a fusion of Klezmer and Bop (inspired by his
rediscovered Jewish spirituality) with his band Masada. Check 'em out if
you're in town . . .
Regards,
John
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work: http://ns2.con2.com/~ps133q
home: http://www.geocities.com/Vienna/6303
AOL Instant-Message screen name: zenwaves
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Henry Potts
Anthony Kyle Monday <lo...@sig.file> writes
>In article <6fqog7$h5d$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, h.p...@icrf.icnet.uk wrote:
>> A friend -- thanks Eva! -- forwarded this to me. It seemed very relevant to
>> recent discussion on a.m.y. and r.m.p.:
>
Thanks -- I didn't know the author.
--
Henry
Dawn Grib
nor...@ihug.co.nz (Anthony Lawless, Barry Morrison, Carl Beange,
Ana-Therese Ward) wrote:
>>Stand up and take a bow, Jacques. Oh, that's right- you're DEAD! HAW HAW
>>HAW!
>Dave Lynch turns into an evil guy from a Chick Comic, film at 11.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!
Bradley Evans
In article <6fqog7$h5d$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, h.p...@icrf.icnet.uk writes:
|> A friend -- thanks Eva! -- forwarded this to me. It seemed very relevant to
|> recent discussion on a.m.y. and r.m.p.:
|>
|>
|> JENNY JONES: Boy, we have a show for you today!
|> [...]
Please forgive my ignorance, but who is Jenny Jones?
-Brad
Wendypoems
>Please forgive my ignorance, but who is Jenny Jones?
hi Brad.....talk show host.....be glad you don't know her
or the show <g>
Adam Daudrich
Bradley Evans wrote:
> In article <6fqog7$h5d$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, h.p...@icrf.icnet.uk writes:
> |> A friend -- thanks Eva! -- forwarded this to me. It seemed very relevant to
> |> recent discussion on a.m.y. and r.m.p.:
> |>
> |>
> |> JENNY JONES: Boy, we have a show for you today!
> |> [...]
>
> Please forgive my ignorance, but who is Jenny Jones?
Very shapely US. tv personality, dumb as a pile of bricks in real life.
>
>
> -Brad
David Forbus
When she had the big hair and big boobs she looked HOT. Today she
looks like somebody's mom. And all of those "make-overs"s......
turn all of her guests into Mr's Cleaver.......
DLF
Adam Daudrich wrote:
>
> Bradley Evans wrote:
>
> > In article <6fqog7$h5d$1...@nnrp1.dejanews.com>, h.p...@icrf.icnet.uk writes:
> > |> A friend -- thanks Eva! -- forwarded this to me. It seemed very relevant to
> > |> recent discussion on a.m.y. and r.m.p.:
> > |>
> > |>
> > |> JENNY JONES: Boy, we have a show for you today!