Turkey Time!
That Chilean Guy
turkey. I have absolutely no idea how to make a proper one (info: we'll
probably be buying turkey breasts, family isn't really keen on the dark
meat), so I turn to your wisdom. C'mon, fess up, your turkey recipes!
norborder
"That Chilean Guy" sayed:
Breasts only? That's easy. Preheat the oven, put 'em in the oven, drink lots
of wine, take 'em out and feast when they're done. Simple, eh.
catpandaddy
"That Chilean Guy" <ja.g....@goooooooooooogle.commie> wrote in message
news:00a0030a$0$26911$c3e...@news.astraweb.com...
If you're not going to get the whole turkey, there's really no preparation
to be done. Might as well just pick up a pan of Jeanni-O Turkey Loaf with
gravy from the frozen foods section down at the Megalo-Mart. ;o)
Max C. Webster III
>> So this Xmas I'm hosting the in-laws for Xmas dinner, and we're making
>> turkey. I have absolutely no idea how to make a proper one (info: we'll
>> probably be buying turkey breasts, family isn't really keen on the dark
>> meat), so I turn to your wisdom. C'mon, fess up, your turkey recipes!
>
> If you're not going to get the whole turkey, there's really no preparation to
> be done. Might as well just pick up a pan of Jeanni-O Turkey Loaf with gravy
> from the frozen foods section down at the Megalo-Mart. ;o)
Omigawd, it's so juicy!
- Max -
=======
Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a
delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly
promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which
holds forth the proposition that it is entirely
possible to pick up a turd by the clean end.
Lerxst in Wonderland�
"That Chilean Guy" attempted to assimilate with:
Dude. Turkey breasts? Okay...get two slices of the bread of your choice.
Little mayo, some brown mustard, salt, pepper, lettuce, maybe a pickle.
Some chips would be nice.
Now if you want to know how to make an actual TURKEY just like us USsians:
4 quarts of water for a bird 15 lbs. or less. Anything over, and double all
ingredients
2 cups maple syrup
1 cup DARK brown sugar
1 cup soy sauce
3 large sprigs of fresh thyme
8 whole bay leaves
10 whole cloves of garlic, peeled
5 TBSP of course sea salt
Place all ingredients in a large pot and bring to a boil. Stir constantly
for 15 minutes and make sure the salt is completely dissolved. Allow to
cool overnight.
Get yourself a new 5 gallon plastic bucket with a lid. Wash the hell out of
it.
Pour your brine in to the bucket.
Get your bird, remove the neck and giblets. Wash and pat dry
Submerge bird in bucket and cover. Let it soak for one hour for every pound
of bird.
Remove bird from brine, dispose of brine, and completely wash bucket and
lid.. RINSE BIRD FULLY INSIDE AND OUT. Pat dry
Place bird in roaster pan, breast side up. You can use in-bird stuffing,
but I don't. I stuff the bird with two sliced apples and two sliced onions.
Rub bird with poultry seasoning. Make three 1-inch long slices in skin on
each side of breasts toward top of bird. Make two one-inch in skin toward
top of each leg and one slice each at each thigh. Get a cube of butter and
cut in to ten equal-sized pats. Stick one pat in each slice. Get a large
can of chicken broth and pour in to bird and on bottom of roasting pan.
Cover bird and top of roasting pan completely with aluminum foil. Place in
oven at 325F. After first hour, open foil and baste bird with whatever is
in the bottom of the pan. Seal foil back over bird and return to oven.
Continue to baste every 1/2 hour after. After two hours start taking the
temp. Use a meat thermometer and take birds temp by sticking probe in to
bird at the thigh bone. When bird reaches 145F at thigh bone remove the
foil and let it brown. Continue cooking until thigh bone measurement reads
166-180 degrees.
Once bird is cooked, remove from oven. Drain bird in to bottom of roasting
pan and use what is in the bottom to make your gravy.
Subtle maple flavor with some sort of nut-like overtones. Delicious,
nutrish, and feel free to send me any dark meat you Chilean savages don't
want.
John Nichel
Or, you could go the non-hippie route, and deep fry the fucker.
--
Your mother's a fucking astronaut!
Harry Manback
>
> Subtle maple flavor with some sort of nut-like overtones. Delicious,
> nutrish, and feel free to send me any dark meat you Chilean savages don't
> want.
>
>
Thanks, Rachael.
(Nutrish? Really?)
That Chilean Guy
wrote:
PRR
Doppelbock
Easier approach: get married so you have a wife to do the wimmin's work.
--
*** ERROR: OUT OF BEER ***
John Nichel
> Lerxst in Wonderland� wrote:
>
> Easier approach: get married so you have a wife to do the wimmin's work.
>
Ohhhhh, guess who'll be sleeping with Rosie Palm for the next few weeks.
--
It is hard for me to understand you with my dick in your mouth.
Doppelbock
> On 12/16/2009 8:49 AM, Doppelbock wrote:
>> Lerxst in Wonderland� wrote:
> <snip hippie turkey stuff>
>>
>> Easier approach: get married so you have a wife to do the wimmin's work.
>>
>
> Ohhhhh, guess who'll be sleeping with Rosie Palm for the next few weeks.
>
wife (n): an attachment you screw on the bed to get the housework done.
DB (Mrs. Bock doesn't read AMR. Thank Ged.)
norborder
Yeah, 'cause if she did, she'd kick your scrawny astronaut-lovin' ass all
over the fucking place, right? ;p
--
It is unhealthy to suppress bodily functions.
Mike
Whole Turkey. Has to be. The legs and wings are the only bit that has
any real flavour.
If your really don't want the dark meat see if you can get a Turkey
Crown with no legs and Wings then you can still carve it like a whole
bird.
Lift the skin around the breast, smother with butter, put the skin
back and smother the top with butter. Then cover the skin with bacon.
Put in a bit tin and cover with foil Cook for 20 mins per lb plus 20
mins at 180 C (mixed up imperial and metric is a sign of a mucked up
british education)
For the last half hour of cooking remove the foil and baste with the
juices all over .
Done!
Mike in Texas
"Really?" as in "Is it really nutritious?" or "Really?" as in "Did he
just say "Nutrish?"
norborder
Thank Ged he didn't say "Delish" as well.
Lerxst in Wonderland�
"norborder" stated:
> Thank Ged he didn't say "Delish" as well.
I toyed with the idea, but figured I was too close to the Gay Border with
knowing that recipe off the top of my head as it was. I've never made a
deep fried bird, but have seen some amusing YouTube videos on it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fF7MtfDDp6A&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SQBzT5BezmY&feature=related
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uUcUU6NpDUw&feature=related
Lerxst in Wonderland�
"Doppelbock" responded to my awesome brined turkey recipe with:
> Easier approach: get married so you have a wife to do the wimmin's work.
My girlfriend isn't allowed in the kitchen. I'd survive on ramen and really
bad omelets if she did the cooking. She doesn't like mushrooms or olives,
thinks that any spice is completely interchangeable with any other spice
within same color spectrum, and Potato Buds are a perfectly acceptable
substitute for mashed taters.
Harry Manback
The latter, sir.