I don't know why i feel the need to share this with all of you (probably the beer), but i asked out this girl at the coffeee shop that I've had my eye on for a while. She said yes. That was cool, but she left a msg on my machine later on the same tonight, she said she had a boyfriend she's been with for two years. Doesn't that suck? I wonder what i should say? I go in the cofffeee shop everyday, man this is akward. Any suggestions?
Don't make it akward... Just talk to her. Say you weren't aware that she had a man and the reason you asked her is because you thought she was a cool chick...Be a nice guy, you never know. Her Boyfriend of 2 years if she has one could be a real dic and might only last 2 more days......
Sean Owen wrote: > I don't know why i feel the need to share this with all of you (probably the > beer), but i asked out this girl at the coffeee shop that I've had my eye on > for a while. She said yes. That was cool, but she left a msg on my machine > later on the same tonight, she said she had a boyfriend she's been with for > two years. Doesn't that suck? I wonder what i should say? I go in the > cofffeee shop everyday, man this is akward. Any suggestions?
> I don't know why i feel the need to share this with all of you (probably the > beer), but i asked out this girl at the coffeee shop that I've had my eye on > for a while. She said yes. That was cool, but she left a msg on my machine > later on the same tonight, she said she had a boyfriend she's been with for > two years. Doesn't that suck? I wonder what i should say? I go in the > cofffeee shop everyday, man this is akward. Any suggestions?
go in, same as normal. when you see her smile big like its no sweat off your back. just say something like 'i HAD to ask.' and smile, and let it go at that. dont dwell on it, dont be weird about it....its not really a big deal or awkward if you dont make it so.
the response was lame but at least you had the guts to try. thats living.
> > I don't know why i feel the need to share this with all of you (probably > the > > beer), but i asked out this girl at the coffeee shop that I've had my eye > on > > for a while. She said yes. That was cool, but she left a msg on my machine > > later on the same tonight, she said she had a boyfriend she's been with > for > > two years. Doesn't that suck? I wonder what i should say? I go in the > > cofffeee shop everyday, man this is akward. Any suggestions?
> go in, same as normal. when you see her smile big like its no sweat off your > back. just say something like 'i HAD to ask.' and smile, and let it go at > that. dont dwell on it, dont be weird about it....its not really a big deal > or awkward if you dont make it so.
> the response was lame but at least you had the guts to try. thats living.
Muzz wrote: > Be a smartarse and say. "Your boyfriend doesn't have to know"
> > > I don't know why i feel the need to share this with all of you (probably > > the > > > beer), but i asked out this girl at the coffeee shop that I've had my > eye > > on > > > for a while. She said yes. That was cool, but she left a msg on my > machine > > > later on the same tonight, she said she had a boyfriend she's been with > > for > > > two years. Doesn't that suck? I wonder what i should say? I go in the > > > cofffeee shop everyday, man this is akward. Any suggestions?
> > go in, same as normal. when you see her smile big like its no sweat off > your > > back. just say something like 'i HAD to ask.' and smile, and let it go at > > that. dont dwell on it, dont be weird about it....its not really a big > deal > > or awkward if you dont make it so.
> > the response was lame but at least you had the guts to try. thats living.
<<<she said she had a boyfriend she's been with for two years. Doesn't that suck?>>>
Not to make light of your situation, but that is referred to (as coined by Seinfeld) as "The Option" play. -- CjS "In pain, there is no pain and that's the escape" Henry Rollins ::Sigh::
on Sun, 27 Jan 2002 05:23:41 -0500, "Sean Owen" <seano...@sover.net> shattered everybody's illusions by writing--
>I don't know why i feel the need to share this with all of you (probably the >beer), but i asked out this girl at the coffeee shop that I've had my eye on >for a while. She said yes. That was cool, but she left a msg on my machine >later on the same tonight, she said she had a boyfriend she's been with for >two years. Doesn't that suck? I wonder what i should say? I go in the >cofffeee shop everyday, man this is akward. Any suggestions?
same thing happened to me one time. the girl invited me to play tennis, i got her phone number and everything was smooth sailing... i ask her out and, oops, she has a boyfriend. wtf?
anyway, i just dropped it. if she and her b/f break up, i say move in for the kill. otherwise, there's really nothing you can do. = !squid
>I don't know why i feel the need to share this with all of you (probably the >beer), but i asked out this girl at the coffeee shop that I've had my eye on >for a while. She said yes. That was cool, but she left a msg on my machine >later on the same tonight, she said she had a boyfriend she's been with for >two years. Doesn't that suck? I wonder what i should say? I go in the >cofffeee shop everyday, man this is akward. Any suggestions?
theyll eventually break up, everyone does, shes just temporarily taken, of course you could always take her from him, which also works
on Sun, 27 Jan 2002 22:25:14 GMT, bja...@hotmail.com (Vin) shattered everybody's illusions by writing--
>>I don't know why i feel the need to share this with all of you (probably the >>beer), but i asked out this girl at the coffeee shop that I've had my eye on >>for a while. She said yes. That was cool, but she left a msg on my machine >>later on the same tonight, she said she had a boyfriend she's been with for >>two years. Doesn't that suck? I wonder what i should say? I go in the >>cofffeee shop everyday, man this is akward. Any suggestions?
>theyll eventually break up, everyone does, shes just temporarily taken, >of course you could always take her from him, which also works
maybe in canada...
the simple fact of the matter is that you can kick a guy's ass and take his wallet. you can kick his ass and take his car. but you *CANNOT* kick his ass and take his g/f. it just doesn't work like that. good thing too b/c there's always somebody tougher.
i say ride the relationship out and if you have a chance, go for it, otherwise just let yourself melt into the back ground. in the meantime, keep getting other women's phone numbers. = !supersquid
> later on the same tonight, she said she had a boyfriend she's been with for > two years. Doesn't that suck? I wonder what i should say? I go in the > cofffeee shop everyday, man this is akward. Any suggestions?
> I don't know why i feel the need to share this with all of you (probably the > beer), but i asked out this girl at the coffeee shop that I've had my eye on > for a while. She said yes. That was cool, but she left a msg on my machine > later on the same tonight, she said she had a boyfriend she's been with for > two years. Doesn't that suck? I wonder what i should say? I go in the > cofffeee shop everyday, man this is akward. Any suggestions?
If she has had a boyfriend for two years, she is probably not getting the attention that she once did and the attention that she craves. I think this is evident in the fact that she said yes at the coffee shop then reconsidered and felt guilty and called back later. I say, don't lay off, but don't keep asking her out. If anything, go to the shop more and be as cool as you can and talk to her when you are there. Wait a week or two and ask her again just to do something "as friends," if she says yes, you are in. I have taken many a girl away from an unappreciative boyfriend.
I got a cup of joe after school today, and she didn't appear to be there, which was sort of cool because i am a wuss about that stuff. I went out front to smoke a butt, because cigarettes and coffee at the same time are a blast! And then she comes down the sidewalk with a dolly full of stuff for the shop, I talked to her and it was totally cool. I told that i was sorry because i didn't know she had a guy, but that i had to ask (just like one of you said lol) then she told me it was really cool that i was there and wasn't going to avoid her b/c of it. She said that she was "really, really flattered" and that she was sensitive and didn't want to say no and hurt my fellings that day. Looks like I can atleast have a cool friend out of the deal.
> I got a cup of joe after school today, and she didn't appear to be there, > which was sort of cool because i am a wuss about that stuff. I went out > front to smoke a butt, because cigarettes and coffee at the same time are a > blast! And then she comes down the sidewalk with a dolly full of stuff for > the shop, I talked to her and it was totally cool. I told that i was sorry > because i didn't know she had a guy, but that i had to ask (just like one of > you said lol) then she told me it was really cool that i was there and > wasn't going to avoid her b/c of it. She said that she was "really, really > flattered" and that she was sensitive and didn't want to say no and hurt my > fellings that day. Looks like I can atleast have a cool friend out of the > deal.
> Peace
yay. i love when people take my advice and it works out.
on Tue, 29 Jan 2002 21:24:17 GMT, "Paper Cuts Suck" <papercutss...@hotmail.com> shattered everybody's illusions by writing--
>this is one explanation i've got to hear. amuse me, squid.
okie, "honest" and "open" are not the same thing, which is why they're spelled differently. it's okay to be honest w/ your girl. "hey squid, where did you go last night?" "i was out my friends like i told you. why would i lie?"
that's being honest (squid never cheats on women).
being open would be "hey [insert girl name here], i know it's only our first date and we've not even had an appetizer yet, but i've gotta tell you how bad my last g/f burned me, man, it sucked, i was crying for weeks and i had nobody, man, NOBODY, none of 'em cared. the bitch cheated on me and it just sucked."
that's being "open" and that isn't cool. i personally wouldn't tell my lifestory to anybody ever (b/c even *if* they want to hear it, they don't have a right to), but i certainly won't share stuff like that w/ her. it's not going to bring anything positive to the relationship. if they ask a question which i don't mind answering, sure, i'll be honest, but i'm not going to freely admit info about me, esp stuff like that.
contrary to popular misconception, a guy is not being "intimate" or "vulnerable" when he shares all of his sorrows and frustrations w/ his g/f. he'd be better off sharing positive things, like complimenting her (not too much) on her hair, sharing the news about his new raise at work, things like that. = !squid
> on Tue, 29 Jan 2002 21:24:17 GMT, "Paper Cuts Suck" > <papercutss...@hotmail.com> shattered everybody's illusions by > writing-- > >this is one explanation i've got to hear. amuse me, squid.
> okie, "honest" and "open" are not the same thing, which is why they're > spelled differently. it's okay to be honest w/ your girl. "hey > squid, where did you go last night?" "i was out my friends like i > told you. why would i lie?"
> that's being honest (squid never cheats on women).
> being open would be "hey [insert girl name here], i know it's only our > first date and we've not even had an appetizer yet, but i've gotta > tell you how bad my last g/f burned me, man, it sucked, i was crying > for weeks and i had nobody, man, NOBODY, none of 'em cared. the bitch > cheated on me and it just sucked."
> that's being "open" and that isn't cool. i personally wouldn't tell > my lifestory to anybody ever (b/c even *if* they want to hear it, they > don't have a right to), but i certainly won't share stuff like that w/ > her. it's not going to bring anything positive to the relationship. > if they ask a question which i don't mind answering, sure, i'll be > honest, but i'm not going to freely admit info about me, esp stuff > like that.
> contrary to popular misconception, a guy is not being "intimate" or > "vulnerable" when he shares all of his sorrows and frustrations w/ his > g/f. he'd be better off sharing positive things, like complimenting > her (not too much) on her hair, sharing the news about his new raise > at work, things like that. > =
But then you get classified as being a nice guy, and we all know where that gets ya. My advice? Be a dick. Get laid. Repeat. Any questions?
Don't ever, never, ever ask if she has a boyfriend! Maybe she does, maybe not - so what, who cares?
Maybe she does, but wants to have a little fun - your prompting about a possible borefriend will put her off the mood, she'll move on to another guy and get what she came looking for anyway. Or maybe she does, but is also pretty curious about you and wouldn't want the existence of a boyfriend scare you away. She might even be considering dumping him in favour of you. Once you've extracted that information from her however, she might just write you off in her mind.
If however she blurts it out without prompting, it still doesn't mean anything. Maybe she really thought she wanted to scare you away, but she really didn't know what she was doing:) Take it humorously, be light-hearted and give her another chance:)
Examples:
HB: Sorry, but I have a boyfriend. You: *Laughing* Hey, I just met you and you are already telling me about your problems:)?
ASF: "If I ask her to meet me somewhere and she says "But I have a boyfriend", I answer with "If he makes you happy, then you could bring him along." Then I ask, "Does he make you happy?". I decide if I should follow up based on the response. Most have had some complaints about him which gives me something that I can work with later and a topic of discussion."
Maniac High (http://www.pickupguide.com), ASF: "[One reason she might be saying she has a BF is that] she really does have a BF, likes you, but doesn't want to feel guilty about cheating on her BF. This is classical 'chick logic' at work here and is good, because it means you are on your way to a fuck, even in spite of the BF... Basically this happens because she thinks that if she tells you about the BF now, she can relax and let you you fuck her anyways, since it's 'not her fault now' that she fucked you, because, she *did* tell you about the boyfriend, and you ignored it, ie. she 'had no choice in the matter.'"
Use this one if the boyfriend comes up for the first time in the conversation. If she keeps insisting on it, move on to any other boyfriend smashing-bashing technique described in this guide. Mystery, ASF: HER: I have a boyfriend. ME: That's nice ... so anyway .... REASONING - ignore the topic and so will she.
Aaron R. Kulkis, ASF: Her: "I have a boyfriend" You: "Thats *good* - I'm not really looking for a girlfriend either:)" Comments by Alphahot1, ASF: "Try to say it as congruently as possible and with no sarcasm. Now you have put her a little more at ease and consequently, she will be more open to you. NOW, proceed to SS the fuck out of her with everything you can hit her with. After about 15 or 20 minutes, you won't have to worry about any boyfriend. Because she will now want *YOU* to be her boyfriend!! Plain and simple.
Whether she has a boyfriend or not is IRRELEVANT... UNTIL you decide you are going to fuck her. Then you either need to bring him up and press her for the information where her relationship is lacking OR make her recall her boyfriend and how good he makes her feel and usurp the feelings for yourself.
If she injects the boyfriend into the conversation unsolicited, a simple diversion to whether or not she plans to marry him might be in rder. I always use it if I decide NOT to bring him up and get her to talk about him favorably.
Another thing I like to use if she is DEFENSIVELY bringing up her boyfriend is "so where is he tonight?" If she doesn't have a good excuse like he is working late because he is a stock trader, I play her into a "he's cheating on you right now" mentality. Chicks can't stand that. PLUS they have to carry this with them from now on. I break down their BELIEF in what their boyfriend TELLS THEM he has to do.
Whether they believe me or not is irrelevant because they don't know me. All they do know is that they now have an alternative version of what their man is doing tonight and every night that he is not with her. After that sinks in, I talk about wasting time and wasting your life and passing up opportunities to do what you REALLY WANT TO DO just because of some bullshit you told someone one day, like "I am only going to fuck you" when they are out doing whatever they want. Then I bring up chicks that got cheated on and how stupid they felt when they were telling me about how they got played:)
You can see how it just strings along and breaks their BELIEF in their man. adding the effects of alcohol, you often get a flirtatious effect from the chick deciding to "get him back for cheating" when he was at ork the whole time:)
Use ex-boyfriends: the chick had a BF, but wasn't satisfied with him. I took her back through a meta-state tour of her ex-boyfriends. The guys that really turned her on I brought her back to frquently. Basically, her boyfriend paled in comparison, and she remembered how HORNY she used to feel with guys and she just doesn't get that with him anymore. Suddenly, she wants a little kino... shoulder massages, back rubs, holding her from behind and kissing her neck...
Basically, if she claims a BF and that doesn't make you want to bail immediately... make her remember past boyfriends... make her remember that she broke up with them... make her remember that they were better lovers than her current BF... make her long for guys that she CAN'T OSSIBLY GET HER HANDS ON but she remembers being in their arms and how much she wanted to please them and how much she wanted them to touch and please her. Once she realizes that boyfriends are a passing thing, she will NOT want to waste the opportunity to get a blessed release from all the sexual feelings you have just aroused in her... and YOU'RE IT!:)
on Wed, 30 Jan 2002 01:46:07 GMT, "Greg" <kingofpai...@hotmail.com> shattered everybody's illusions by writing--
>But then you get classified as being a nice guy, and we all know where that >gets ya. My advice? Be a dick. Get laid. Repeat. Any questions?
nah, i disagree. being a dick only gets you laid. if you want to keep the girl (a lot of girls are worth being w/, a few bad ones ruin it for the rest of 'em), just keep your cards to your chest. there's no rush to reveal everything about yourself.
and above all, don't be afraid to say "no" once in a while. = !squid
the happy squid <thecolorsbl...@yahooNOSPAMYOUJERK.com> wrote in message
> contrary to popular misconception, a guy is not being "intimate" or > "vulnerable" when he shares all of his sorrows and frustrations w/ his > g/f. he'd be better off sharing positive things, like complimenting > her (not too much) on her hair, sharing the news about his new raise > at work, things like that.
Duuude! Shallow! You should be able to share everything with your partner, the way you feel, positive or negative, everything.
on Wed, 30 Jan 2002 18:01:38 +1100, "SiR.B" <Si...@dont.spam.me.honey> shattered everybody's illusions by writing--
>the happy squid <thecolorsbl...@yahooNOSPAMYOUJERK.com> wrote in message >> contrary to popular misconception, a guy is not being "intimate" or >> "vulnerable" when he shares all of his sorrows and frustrations w/ his >> g/f. he'd be better off sharing positive things, like complimenting >> her (not too much) on her hair, sharing the news about his new raise >> at work, things like that.
>Duuude! Shallow! You should be able to share everything with your partner, >the way you feel, positive or negative, everything.
>Justin, who is speechless, almost.
i agree, you should, but the simple fact of the matter is that you can't. sad, but true. = !squid
the happy squid <thecolorsbl...@yahooNOSPAMYOUJERK.com> wrote in message
> on Wed, 30 Jan 2002 18:01:38 +1100, "SiR.B" <Si...@dont.spam.me.honey> > >Duuude! Shallow! You should be able to share everything with your partner, > >the way you feel, positive or negative, everything.
> >Justin, who is speechless, almost.
> i agree, you should, but the simple fact of the matter is that you > can't. sad, but true.
I disagree, but I assume neither of us are married, so lets hear from some long term happily married couples. The question, is it better to share everything, or keep conversations to a shallow level "like complimenting her (not too much) on her hair, sharing the news about his new raise at work, things like that"?
"Sean Owen" <seano...@sover.net> wrote in message <news:lGQ48.65870$h31.3600931@e420r-atl1.usenetserver.com>... > I don't know why i feel the need to share this with all of you (probably the > beer), but i asked out this girl at the coffeee shop that I've had my eye on > for a while. She said yes. That was cool, but she left a msg on my machine > later on the same tonight, she said she had a boyfriend she's been with for > two years. Doesn't that suck? I wonder what i should say? I go in the > cofffeee shop everyday, man this is akward. Any suggestions?
I could just be paranoid from all the 3rd degree burns I have from past relationships, but its weird that at one point she says yeah and then later tells you she has a boyfriend of 2 years. Maybe she misunderstood your intentions or something, but I find it hard to believe she forgot about a 2 year relationship.
Having said that don't be a dick. By that I mean, like someone else said, don't make it awkward. If you wanna wait around that's your business, but it could also be the worst thing ever. On the other hand, don't try to break them up either, that's a terrible thing to do. Karma man, KARMA. He was there first, and you don't want to be the dick who keep cutting infront of people in the line do you?
