I know what is wrong and I know what is right
Sue Winterbottom
and I'd die for the truth in my secret life.
I got to remembering these lines today during a process of trying to
work out what is going on in my own head about this war, and wondering
if it bears any relation to how it is playing in anyone else's head.
In a way I envy Fiona and people like her who concluded long ago that
the idea was an abomination and that it should never be allowed to
happen. I haven't exactly felt or thought that and in my mind I have
let it go ahead. That's neither here nor there now, none of the
arguments convinced me much, for inspections or for force but by
default, since I did nothing, I've let it go ahead. I'm not alone
(it's crowded here, but rather cold).
But who was right and who was wrong? "Well, we'll just have to see
won't we" - and it's when I came around to thinking that, or something
pretty much like it, that I had to stop dead in my tracks and ask
myself what the hell happened to right and wrong along the way.
Because "we'll just have to see, won't we" was very much the message I
got a Guardian article I read last night, by Michael Ignatieff.
http://www.guardian.co.uk/g2/story/0,3604,920599,00.html
Perhaps people here have heard of him and have an opinion about his
views, I really don't know. I don't have any opinion about him or his
views; I know the name because I think he has appeared on TV here a
few times as a commentator - I thought in the arts in fact, but maybe
politics too (or maybe I am just confusing him with somebody else).
So..., it doesn't matter much to me who wrote the article, but I found
it interesting and it got me thinking. The idea I got from it was that
it isn't a question of left or right (or even right or wrong?) these
days, but one of risk assessment. And that's how Bush and particularly
Blair have pitched it. What are the risks that if this material gets
into the wrong hands hundreds of thousands of 'innocent' Westerners
will die? High enough that we need to take action now. Basically, the
pitch from Blair was that. And against taking offensive action had to
be weighed the risk that hundreds (or thousands?) of Western military
personnel and/or hundreds (or thousands?) of Iraqi civilians might
die.
And much of the TV watching population of Britain and America are now
waiting to see whether they "got it right" or not. Ignatieff says we
should always try, as individuals, to make these difficult decisions
ourselves. But if "right or wrong" depends on how it all turns out in
practice, are we still talking about them in the sense in which we
always thought we were, i.e. right=good, wrong=bad in some moral
sense? The people who marched for peace, on the basis that war is
"wrong", killing people is wrong, are upholding a principle and I
respect them for that. I think some opposition to the war here is also
based on probabilities though, rather than principles. I think many
people can't help concluding - it seems rather obvious - that we are
making ourselves more likely targets for future terrorist attacks by
taking this action, and they don't want to that to become any more
likely than it is already.
What I mean is, the majority here (me among them) has been judging the
rights and wrongs of this on the basis of likely outcomes. The
majority (me among them) probably thought Iraq would be something of a
pushover if it came to it. If that proves not to be the case support
for the war will decrease further - all the TV commentators today are
getting ready for that scenario. OK, blah, blah, all pretty obvious.
It then gets me to thinking about my pet topic - my own life. 2 year
and a bit ago I gave up my independent (and dependent free) existence
to come and live with my mother, because my father had died suddenly
and she had no idea what was to become of her. Neither did we, mine
was the only idea on the table and it happened to be the only one that
would have appealed to her whatever else we might have come up with.
That, at least, was certain. From time to time people ask me whether I
have regretted it and at the time my mother said she hoped that I
wouldn't (live to regret it). I knew that I would, and I have, so when
people ask me that I have to fudge a little. Sometimes they ask
whether in retrospect I think it was a mistake to do so, and that's
rather a different question. I thought I was doing "the right thing"
and so, just as with the invasion of Iraq, it's a question of whether
doing the "right" thing is ever a mistake as such.
When people ask me these questions I suspect they are also expecting a
pragmatic answer, based on the outcome for me. If I'm "making it
work", if I'm reasonably happy now with how my life is going, then
it's not been a mistake. If I'm not, to all of those, then it probably
*was* a mistake and I must be regretting having made it. I do regret
the situation ever came up, in the way that it did, and I wish things
could have been different. But I don't think it was a mistake to
consider my mother's wishes and interests rather than my own on that
occasion. It was clear what she wanted, what would stand the best
chance of making an unbearable situation bearable. The alternative
would have been to live with the knowledge of having seen what the
"right thing" would be, and not to have done it, to have tried to make
it work. But it isn't expected of us any more I don't think - not in
these situations of elderly parents. Their demands to be considered
first are mostly seen as unreasonable, by doctors, social workers and
so on, while mine as the younger person, with a life still to live
etc, would not be.
So - what's right is really what turns out for the best? Is there
anything wrong with that?
And so to LC, who knows "what is right". I'm wondering now, since I
started pondering the words of the song, whether in these two verses:
I smile when I'm angry.
I cheat and I lie.
I do what I have to do
To get by.
But I know what is wrong.
And I know what is right.
And I'd die for the truth
In My Secret Life.
........
I bite my lip.
I buy what I'm told:
From the latest hit,
To the wisdom of old.
But I'm always alone.
And my heart is like ice.
And it's crowded and cold
In My Secret Life.
we are supposed to see some kind of dichotomy between the first four
lines and the last four. I mean, does "I smile when I'm angry etc"
refer to his *actual* life, while "But I know what is wrong etc."
refers to something which is only true in the secret world? And does
the same apply to "I bite my lip etc." vis-a-vis "But I'm always alone
etc."? That's how I'm reading it. He does cheat and lie in actual
fact, but in his secret life still sticks to a different moral code.
He does keep quiet, go with the flow in actual fact, but in his secret
life - what? resists in some way? turns his back on it all? The
contrast in this latter verse isn't half so clear and I'm not sure at
all what
"I'm always alone. And my heart is like ice. And it's crowded and
cold."
is saying.. or how it should be read as some kind of secret
alternative to biting your lip and buying what you're told. Maybe I'm
reading the structure of these verses wrong - maybe real life is the
first 6 lines of each verse, while only the last 2 refer to the secret
stuff. It matters to what I've been thinking about (knowing the
difference between right and wrong). Because he's either claiming to
know the difference between right and wrong in reality - or he isn't.
Dylan said it most clearly:
Ring them bells St. Catherine
From the top of the room,
Ring them from the fortress
For the lilies that bloom.
Oh the lines are long
And the fighting is strong
And they're breaking down the distance
Between right and wrong.
(Ring Them Bells)
_____
Sue
José Tomás Domínguez
"Sue Winterbottom" <s...@suewinterbottom.freeserve.co.uk> escribió en el
mensaje news:b5q3cv$klq$1...@newsg2.svr.pol.co.uk...
> I know what is wrong and I know what is right
> and I'd die for the truth in my secret life.
>
> I got to remembering these lines today during a process of trying to
> work out what is going on in my own head about this war, and wondering
> if it bears any relation to how it is playing in anyone else's head.
> In a way I envy Fiona and people like her who concluded long ago that
> the idea was an abomination and that it should never be allowed to
> happen. I haven't exactly felt or thought that and in my mind I have
> let it go ahead. That's neither here nor there now, none of the
> arguments convinced me much, for inspections or for force but by
> default, since I did nothing, I've let it go ahead. I'm not alone
> (it's crowded here, but rather cold).
I'm not very talkative these days (indignation and shame) but I know
I love you 'cause you are such an honest person.
As said, Love
Pp.
Jack Lazariuk
I read with interest what you wrote and the situation that you are in
is giving me a lot of food for thought to use for pondering the
meaning of forgivness.
Leonard's use of the term "secret life" is greatly influenced in my
mind by a couple of things it has been reported he has said.
One was in the dressing room after a Dylan concert when Dylan turned
to him and asked "Where are you at man?" Leonard's answer seemed to
just address the issue that he couldn't be seen because he replied
"Everyone has to be somewhere" I heard that at a time when I was
thinking about blind spots which everyone has.
The other was an interview where Leonard commented that in his later
years he has been getting some enjoyment in finding that he can become
invisible.
Jack
"Come to God in secret" --- Jesus
stupid man
In a field
I am the absence
of field.
This is
always the case.
Wherever I am
I am what is missing.
When I walk
I part the air
and always
the air moves in
to fill the spaces
where my body's been.
We all have reasons
for moving.
I move
to keep things whole.
steve"Jack Lazariuk" <Jack_L...@excite.com> wrote in message
news:4cj18vkc8dvfoh0qu...@4ax.com...
michael
"stupid man" <stevel...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:b5se0u$2ctq2c$1...@ID-153269.news.dfncis.de...
> reminds me of my favorite Mark Strand poem.
>
> In a field
> I am the absence
> of field.
> This is
> always the case.
> Wherever I am
> I am what is missing.
>
> When I walk
> I part the air
> and always
> the air moves in
> to fill the spaces
> where my body's been.
>
> We all have reasons
> for moving.
> I move
> to keep things whole.
that's all very well, but I prefer the lyrics of 2 different Ivor Cutler
songs. ok, from a rough memory
"go and sit upon the grass
and I will come and sit beside you
do not mind if I hit you on the head
with a nail to make you understand me
I have something important to say
when I'm gone
feel the lump upon your head
and think about what I said"
now sung by Ivor, everyone's favourite 80 year old Scottish Jewish
performer, it is excellent. but interpreted and performed by Robert Wyatt,
it is wonderful, superlative, etc.
secondly
"the earth moves up
to meet the air coming down
and that's a good idea.
for if the earth lay low
the air would have to come down
the extra amount
'cos there's got to be something there
yes, there's got to be something there all the time
yes, there's got to be something there all the time
there's got to be something there."
Sue Winterbottom
> Leonard's use of the term "secret life" is greatly influenced in my
> mind by a couple of things it has been reported he has said.
-it struck me for the first time yesterday that I haven't a clue what
he means by his "secret life". I don't think it means what I have been
taking it to mean, something along the lines of "How I See Myself" or
"What I Am Really Like". Perhaps it is something a bit more wacky than
that? You seem to be suggesting so anyway.
> One was in the dressing room after a Dylan concert when Dylan turned
> to him and asked "Where are you at man?" Leonard's answer seemed to
> just address the issue that he couldn't be seen because he replied
> "Everyone has to be somewhere" I heard that at a time when I was
> thinking about blind spots which everyone has.
> The other was an interview where Leonard commented that in his later
> years he has been getting some enjoyment in finding that he can
become
> invisible.
- does he wind the bandages round his head so that people can see he
is still there? Ha! Ha! (or perhaps you are not old enough to remember
this)
Jack Lazariuk
<s...@suewinterbottom.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>-it struck me for the first time yesterday that I haven't a clue what
>he means by his "secret life". I don't think it means what I have been
>taking it to mean, something along the lines of "How I See Myself" or
>"What I Am Really Like". Perhaps it is something a bit more wacky than
>that? You seem to be suggesting so anyway.
Wacky has a pretty nice sound to it.
I really appreciated what you posted. It sparked a considerable
amount of thoughts in my head and though I didn't respond in
proportion please consider that what you wrote will greatly influence
a number of other things that I plan to write about.
What interested me about the article by Michael Ignatieff was the idea
about liking most the people who are on the other side of the position
that you consider to be the right one.
Hearing that made me feel less alone.
Jack
"You can't make love all by yourself" Dylan
Jack Lazariuk
<s...@suewinterbottom.freeserve.co.uk> wrote:
>- does he wind the bandages round his head so that people can see he
>is still there? Ha! Ha! (or perhaps you are not old enough to remember
>this)
Rest assured Sue that I am old enough to remember anything that you
do.
Jack
"And then I confess that I tortured the dress
that you wore for the world to look through" l.cohen
JeffreyG.
in here. I've recently "re-discovered" leonard and have thought a lot
recently on "in my secret life." I don't think I have any
particularly novel view of the song but...here goes. I think that
he's making a seemingly sad (if youre not a zen-kinda-guy) comparison
of a life that he once had/dreamt of for himself stands in contrast to
his current reality. What's caused the change? -His loss of his
lover. He spent the whole morning thinking of her ('and we're still
making love'). He then describes the person he is/has become 'I do
what I have to do to get by' and how that compares to the person he
was/wanted to be 'I'd die for the truth' The world 'makes you wanna
cry' and he accepts it 'I bite my lip' but in his secret life (the
life that once lived/could have lived) he's a better man. The last
verse is the most difficult. Why does he want to be alone and have a
heart like ice when it's crowded and cold in his secret life? I'm not
sure but I think it's a reference to being 'in control.' Always being
alone suggests that he doesn't need anyone, a heart of ice that he
feels no emotions; even when it's crowded and cold he doesn't need
warmth. Why accept this state of affairs? Maybe it's better than
missing her. In dreaming of his secret life he morns for the loss of
her and the person she could have made him.
-Jeff
"Sue Winterbottom" <s...@suewinterbottom.freeserve.co.uk> wrote in message news:<b5t750$39d$1...@news6.svr.pol.co.uk>...
Sue Winterbottom
Why does he want to be alone and have a
> heart like ice when it's crowded and cold in his secret life?
I agree he sounds rather sorry for himself in this verse and that
doesn't fit too well with the wonderfully composed life he seems to be
leading according to some other songs on the album (Alexandra Leaving,
say or Love Itself). You want to be able to say that someone has found
peace of mind at last or they haven't. That's terribly simplistic I
know, but I don't think his fans, us, people who listen to his songs,
have really started to get to grips with this last collection yet.
When it came out it caused quite a stir - some people immediately
said it was wonderful stuff but others slated it, in terms
of his earlier work, for all sorts of reasons. I must say I listened
to it quite a lot when I first got it, it has some soothing and
hypnotic qualities.. but I haven't felt the urge to do so for a long
time and I'm not at all sure how I will feel about it when I finally
get round to doing so. But having said that, I haven't listened to his
other stuff for quite a while either!
I'm not
> sure but I think it's a reference to being 'in control.' Always
being
> alone suggests that he doesn't need anyone, a heart of ice that he
> feels no emotions; even when it's crowded and cold he doesn't need
> warmth. Why accept this state of affairs? Maybe it's better than
> missing her. In dreaming of his secret life he morns for the loss
of
> her and the person she could have made him.
I suppose it's arguable that most of the songs are about loss in one
form or another - and 1000 kisses deep, come to think of it, is also a
tirade about the ways in which he has failed people. But the
bitterness (regret?), if it's there, is kind of washed clean by the
uplifting tone of it all. Is it self acceptance or self mockery? It's
hard to say most of the time.
Sue