Lessons Learned From Another Impersonation Victim
Simplea Amazing
tell you that I'm crazy and that he doesn't want me talking to "you
people" anymore. He laughed when he said it, but I agree with him that
having "this" back in my life doesn't go along with the happier new
life I have now. I will not sacrifice in any way, shape or form
another important relationship to this poisonous mess, so my writing
and my interaction are "for a limited time only," so to speak.
My purpose is to offer you what I can in order to help you understand
the truth of the horrible things that someone has done to you here in
order to know that I've done what I can and it's over. My engagement
with anyone, real or incog, will be even more limited. I am here to
validate what S*z*nn* has had to say, to explain to you that she and I
have spent an extensive number of hours writing and talking, sorting
what fact we can from fiction, often amazed at the extent to which we
were taken advantage of, occasionally laughing at ourselves and the
absurdity of it all, occasionally (at least on my part) becoming truly
overcome with nausea at the thought of it. And most of all, pondering
the life lessons we've learned here.
Upon reading her PSA, I sent an email message to her via a third
party, wishing her the best in what I know firsthand is a long and
complicated recovery process.
~~~~I should stop here to establish that I am angered when my name is
mentioned in this arena by someone other than myself, even if that
person is attempting to defend me. I've done my best to regain
privacy, even lamenting the fact that I cannot write about music
anywhere on the Internet for fear someone will recognize me and throw
this s**t at me again, for the sake of entertaining a whole new batch
of strangers. Therefore, I will do my best not to use names of
ordinary folks here, other than that of JHSTJ, etc. This is not meant
as an invitation for anyone out there to prove what they know by
filling the rest in on the identities of my references. If those
people wish to respond publicly on their own behalf, of course they
should. ~~~~
It turns out that after all has been said and done, S*z*nn* has been
able to help me in the closure of some things in order to complete my
own recovery. We have helped each other, and who ever woulda thunk
THAT?!
My, doesn't this sound melodramatic and self-centered in light of all
that's going on around us in this country, in this world at the
moment. Please understand that I am as distraught and saddened at the
affairs of September 11 as anyone is. It has perhaps enhanced my
perspective, especially concerning charismatic leaders and those who
become caught up in their diabolical schemes.
While I am NOT comparing the terrorist attacks to this situation,
there are some parallels in terms of assault. Our psyches have been
assaulted. In one of the pieces we plan to share about Narcissistic
Personality Disorder, this is described as spiritual rape.
When I read that term, I finally had a label for the violation of my
heart and my soul that J*nn* perpetrated. It is no less than spiritual
rape.
When we thought that perhaps a joint posting would help those who have
genuine questions regarding the question of whether or not DF has been
involved in online interactions with his fans, my vision developed
into a question-answer format. Readers post a question, each of us, in
order to maintain our individual and perhaps occasionally differing
perspectives, would respond, given that the question is within reason
and good taste, the latter being quite the challenge here, since much
of what has happened is far beyond the boundaries of good taste.
Clearly what S*z*nn* has written still has not slaked the thirst for
answers. We're not exactly sure what questions could remain, but again
within reason, we feel we have many of the answers, and in a
responsible, mature format, others of you might feel more comfortable
filling in the holes. Or if you still aren't quite sure what to make
of it, perhaps you'll be better able to understand. (For example, we
have always known about each other. We were pitted against each other
for a reason, and we know that other women were also isolated for the
purpose of manipulation. I know of at least four. Most likely there
are more. It seems people see us as some of the major players, and as
passionate women, we have been outspoken. If you are one of those four
+ women and you believe that no one knows about you because you are
truly The One, because you have been the most loyal to D*ni*l, or
D*nny, or D*ni*lit*, or D, you might want to listen to what we choose
to share with you in order to understand that you are no more than a
source of narcissistic supply for J*nn*.)
Again, S*z*nn* and I have spent an incredible number of hours (12 or
13?) on the phone and have passed the days together in email. In fact,
my office had no tv or radio and the Internet and phone lines were
jammed on Tuesday, 9/11, so email communication with S*z*nn* was our
only source of information from the outside world. It wasn't welcome
news, but at least she kept us updated throughout the horror.
There is no way we could share all the stories we've sifted through,
all the lies and deception and manipulation that have been uncovered.
And, for the most part, there's no need to. For me, having been so
long out of the picture, much of what I piece together is like trying
to remember the fragments of a dream...or a nightmare. Also, we've
decided that, although this sounds like a (very bad)
movie-of-the-week, we couldn't write the whole story in narrative or
screenplay form and expect anyone to buy into it. It's too
far-fetched. It is, nonetheless, and quite sadly, true.
I have wavered quite a bit in my decision to participate in this
event. It seems...emphasis on seems...that things have been rather
quiet in the public arena of late. Why not let sleeping dogs lie? We
do know, however, that much of it goes underground when certain
players know we're around, and there we have no control over, no voice
in defending ourselves against the vicious attacks on our character.
One weekend, while my husband and I were working in the yard, I came
to the decision that I would follow through.
As a former English teacher, I tend to think in metaphors. That's what
happened that weekend.
We had to have some trees cut down this summer, and as a result, a
whole weed patch has sprung up in an area that was previously barren.
While I was pulling weeds from the ivy in other areas, the thought
occurred to me that some weeds look lovely unless you're told so, you
don't even know they're weeds. They could be slowly killing off the
real plants, and you wouldn't even know it. Some people are lovely
weeds.
I asked my husband if he thought I should pull up the patch of new
weeds and he said to leave them like they were their roots would be
helpful in that area. Some weeds serve a purpose and are harmless. The
trick lies in knowing the difference.
In J*nn*, we met a weed. A lovely one who wrapped her twisted love
around our souls.
Not much long after this Rappacini-inspired thought passed, my husband
started to move my car up the steep slope of our driveway. One of our
dogs saw Daddy leaving and wanted to go along. Terror struck my heart
when he shot over to the car and was almost caught under the wheel.
What if. . . My husband loves his dogs as I love my children. Words
wouldn't describe what I know would happen to him if the worst had
happened to the dog. I might never have this happy, easygoing, loving
man beside me again. I'd watch him deteriorate into a sad, sad,
helpless creature. How did I know this? Because I saw what happened to
D*ni*l after the same thing, with more terrorizing detail, happened to
him.
Then I caught myself. Thing is D*ni*l was a character, a literary
coping device, created by J*nn* as a means of . . . I don't know what.
The story she told of a man to whom she was married, with whom she had
suffered innumerable tragedies was a lie. The horrifying story of her
being raped by five men and left in a cornfield to die the day after
she and he had decided to be together forever.... all of these things
were lies.
Pretty crazy, huh? How could an intelligent woman fall for such crap?
I myself didn't have the complete answer to this until S*z*nn*'s PSA.
The means with which J*nn* manipulates people are far-reaching and
unfathomable. She finds her prey by learning their vulnerabilities,
usually under the guise of either being a friend, or a therapist (she
is not), or being a pathetic victim who needs care and nurturing. When
she learns just what sensitivities to work, where the malleable parts
are, she goes to work. The pattern, as it seems to me, is that when
she senses that you are starting to doubt her, she ups the dosage,
creating an even more horrible tale or situation that she needs your
help with. Any direct question of her actions or motives results in a
terrible wrath, perpetrated by her, by D*ni*l, or by an incog.
Her story that she never reads online, that a friend reads and tells
her when something's of interest: bullhockey. Her story that she never
posts as anyone but herself, always signs her own name? Perhaps she
believes this through the loophole effect: if anyone has multiple
personality disorder, it is J*nn*. She has created characters to
interact with you, with us, with each other even, so believably round
and eerily real that perhaps even she is convinced that they're real
people. They're not.
I now believe that J*nn* set out to victimize DF fans. Why? That I
can't answer. She misrepresented herself as a Ph.D. candidate working
on a project involving celebrity-fan interaction. People told her
their innermost thoughts and feelings, because DF's music is so deeply
personal to each of us.
In fact, in light of what I've learned, I understand now that she
deliberately set things up, I presume out of some hatred for the real
DF.
(Whether this is for some real or some perceived wrong, I don't know.
As she has perpetrated a similar hoax with another major musician, I
would guess
it's all in her mind. ) She played on his reputation for being
"stand-offish," and worked that into the "D*ni*l" character she
created for us. She read the AOL folder and knew that I wondered who
Esmerelda (mentioned in liner notes) was, and set herself up as
Esmerelda. She read enough to determine that "all his fans are alike:
very intelligent and very self-centered." She read enough to know the
fantasy man that each of us, male and female, had created in our image
of DF, and she created the D*ni*l character to match it, most likely a
slightly different variation of him for
each of us. The "mystery" of who set up the DF folder on AOL is no
longer a mystery -- someone once said to me that whoever did it was
very clever in their choice of "Forged in the files..." Clever,
secretive, and on a mission? That's J*nn* defined.
From reading the folder, she knew about the upcoming birthday chat in
1996 and started the wheels in motion.
Remember -- at that time, the existence of internet imposters wasn't
as common as it is today. Even though we were suspicious, this was set
up with such care, in such detail, planned so very carefully, that any
questions we had were easily answered. She'd studied us long enough to
know how to act, what to say.
What makes J*nn*'s work here so effective is that she has mixed in a
certain amount of truth. That is also why she is dangerous. Clearly,
she was some part of D*n and An*st*si*'s life. Perhaps she had them
convinced that she was a doctoral candidate and a friend, too. That I
don't know. I do know that she was invited to the ranch occasionally,
and she did play for me a telephone message in the body's (DF's, that
is) voice, saying something to the effect, Hey J*nn*. Something's come
up. I need to cancel dinner, but let's still get together this Sunday
and watch the Broncos. She was angry because she knew this meant he
was going to see another woman. SHE was the woman scorned. And,
although she had seemingly been facilitating a relationship between
him and me, because she was tired of seeing him with bimbos, I was the
one to comfort her, because once again he was betraying her.
What I am most concerned with is that J*nn* knows just enough about
DF, the real DF, that she could have shared with us stories that were
never meant for us. I'm pretty certain that in order to reinforce her
story, she has bestowed upon us some of his personal belongings that
were never meant for us. If there is even the slightest shard of truth
in anything that we were told, and we were told some incredible,
horrifying as well as deeply, deeply personal things. I don't want to
inadvertently share something that does have some truth in it. This
person I greatly admired has already unwittingly suffered enough in
all of this without any of us adding to it. My position is that none
of what she ever told us was true. My guess is that J*nn*, as
dangerous a stalker as V*ct*ri* R*s* or anyone else, befriended DF and
An*st*si*, just as she befriended so many of us. Their relationships
disintegrated sometime after An*st*si* left Colorado. We will probably
never know the real reason(s) for this, and they're not really
important.
The Body and D*ni*l. Some have asked how we intelligent women could
have been conned into believing that the male voice we heard on the
phone was DF's if it wasn't really him. This was explained to us in
terms of the toll that his career had taken on him. The one on stage
was initially referred to as The Suit later he was called The Body --
he took care of business, was cold and distant and we wouldn't like
him, nor would he like us, which is why, of course, should we ever
find ourselves in the situation of being physically near him, we must
never try to communicate with him. Underneath that cold exterior was
the sensitive, loving, intelligent, caring, and extremely vulnerable
D*ni*l the one who was actually the artist, the poet, the lover. If
you listened closely, you could hear the southern twang in his voice
from his happier times in Tennessee coming through. Our loyalties to
J*nn* and D*ni*l were based on the grandiose love affair between them,
one that she concocted, again, to exploit vulnerabilities.
Knowing that J*nn* is very good at knowing how to manipulate and even
better at how to intimidate, why would I want to speak out, when
things have been relatively quiet for me? I anticipate that she will
summon a host of incogs to discuss how I am like T*sh*, and would
leave my husband for DF. (I don't know who T*sh* is, and I was
separated from my husband long before J*nn* entered my life.) She will
call me a woman scorned. She knows that I value my children and my new
husband and my new life dearly to attack them (in writing), however
subtly or brazenly, will be her first pursuit, because, unfortunately,
just before S*z*nn*'s revelations, I had attempted to re-establish
contact with J*nn* and I shared my happiness with her. I knew
something was wrong when old feelings started to surface: I thought I
had made her angry or I was very guilty when questioning her
truthfulness in my mind. (Assuming that I'd accused her of cutting and
pasting things, she told me she didn't know HOW to cut and paste. I
find it difficult to believe that an exceedingly intelligent and
resourceful woman, a WRITER and EDITOR by trade, could use a computer
for at least six years and not know how to cut and paste. Then I felt
horribly guilty for daring to entertain that thought.a doubt. The
lingering effect of an emotionally abusive relationship. )
I want to speak out not because of ALL of the things I've learned from
my time with S*z*nn*, but because of one particular event that
totally, beyond a shadow of any doubt whatsoever, confirms for me that
I encountered a very bad person. Yes, I am a woman scorned, because of
all the things she stole from me my ability to trust, to love
unconditionally, to follow my instincts..., she stole a Christmas
morning with my children, and then, THEN, she turned it around to
characterize me as negligent toward them, as a bad mother who chose to
spend time with D*ni*l instead of my children. Of course, all the
while, she was my kind, supportive friend, while telling S*z*nn* that
D*ni*l wouldn't choose me because it was a red flag for him that I had
spent time with him instead of my children. Not true. Categorically,
not true. But the story illustrates the extent to which this woman
will go to manipulate, to feed off of the emotions of people who are
trusting, caring, and loving by nature.
It was a Christmas Eve 1996, and "D*ni*l" was in Santa Fe. He had to
go out to get some juice and needed to get that errand out of the way
so that he could spend Christmas Eve with his girlfriend (me). He
called about 2 a.m. our time. We talked as usual through until dawn.
Just around then, he morphed into S*x, his six year old personality,
who was frightened and hiding in the closet. Again, this was J*nn*,
imitating these characters, but to me, I believed I was listening to
someone in extreme distress.
I am a mother and a teacher and by nature a nurturer. No matter who is
in distress, I hurt, I care, I act. And in this situation, I was being
cold-heartedly exploited by a woman who needed the drama in her life.
My children awoke and came to get me. I had to leave s*x in the closet
and get off the phone to spend Christmas morning with my children.
That whole morning, I was terrified that something unspeakable would
or had happened to this person I cared about. (And how could you not
care when you'd heard his life story? All fictitious, and somehow ...
I really don't know how...believable.) At one point in the morning, I
signed online to send a distress email to J*nn*, telling her what had
happened, so that she might go and find him and take care of him, as
she always did. He was online, and we interacted. She was there. I
can't recall which of them told me, and it doesn't really matter,
since I know now that they're one in the same, but I was told that he
had attempted suicide, that he was being taken away in a straitjacket,
but that I wasn't to worry. I was to go back to my family and be a
good mother.
Sure.
Did I leave my home? Did I leave my children for more than five
minutes? Did I not go to visit my father in the hospital? No. I did
what I had been doing for far too long. I lived my double life. By
day, a teacher, mother, daughter, caregiver, friend. By night, the
girlfriend of a very, very troubled man who was and forever would be
linked to his only true love, something I would have to accept if I
were to continue in the relationship.
Yet, I learned in my recent discussions with S*z*nn*, that she had
never known about that Christmas morning, though she was his
girlfriend at the time, too. I also learned that she had been told
that D*ni*l would reject me because he respected motherhood. Oddly
enough, I had been told the same thing about her.
When I realized that there would never be anything I could do to fix
either of them, I got out the best way I knew: I made a public
statement (in the aol folder) revealing some truths, knowing he would
then make me invisible, that is, would never speak to me again, which
is exactly what I needed.
To learn that D*ni*l was a fabrication, that everything was a
fabrication, underscores for me what a ruthless person J*nn* is. I
looked at it as a very sad illness for a while, but I believe she has
her full faculties about her and knows what she's doing. She just
doesn't care. What I've read about NPD, the relationship between the
narcissist and those around them, describes our relationship to a T.
Fast forward to today.
I tried to bounce back by trusting again too soon and got burned. What
I have been gradually learning is that the part of me that loves, that
trusts, that comforts others still exists. It's shaky and it's much
more wary, but it is in there somewhere.
I am happy living a simple life with man who deserves my undying
devotion. A real man, not the figment of my or a hundred thousand
other women's or J*nn*'s imagination.
I fully expect nasty things to result from my posting this. I expect
they'll be what I call J*nn*cogs. There are one or two people,
however, who are reportedly real, who seem to enjoy this whole thing
for entertainment value. Just this once, I hope you can skip it.
NonVertigoBlonde
Arizona Golf Outings
touch.
Sandy Smith
wrote and the follow-up writings also need to go to them ASAP.
simplea...@yahoo.com (Simplea Amazing) wrote in message news:<de3c85a1.03022...@posting.google.com>...
Drew Jan
did you lift her words and paste them here?
This is the K to the S & K "fanifesto". I have letters and posts in my files
written by both S & K and those close to them that contradict these statements.
When you tell so many lies, it's hard to keep track of what and who you told.
Especially when S goes to a public Halloween chat then states she is leaving
and meeting up with the man IN PERSON. I suppose J pulled the vocal chords to
that too, huh?
Everyone else on these boards is talking new release, concert tour, traveling,
other subjects yet this board and one other is still on the same topic. Funny
thing is...it's the very same people who would squawk if Dan played the set
list.
To quote VertigoBlonde (the genuine one) "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
Jan
NonVertigoBlonde
Recycling is good sometimes J*n, it reminds all of the interesting facts and
figures that have been out there before. It's oh so similar to the saying, "If
you don't learn from history you are doomed to repeat it." Surely you would
not wish upon Dan Fans the heartache you and others have experienced over the
past six or seven years with the Dan imposter. Even your heart cannot be that
stone cold.
>Everyone else on these boards is talking new release, concert tour, traveling,
other subjects yet this board and one other is still on the same topic.
Since there is neither any real news on a cd, nor a tour there isn't much going
on anywhere that I can see. The problem, J*n, is apparently you've no control
over this board or the other one that has had the balls to allow this to come
out, and that must really piss you off. I can only imagine it is tough to have
you and your buds exposed over and over again after so many years of so many
being, shall I say fearful, of exposing the scam and your utter c-r-a-p? It's
long overdue.
> To quote VertigoBlonde (the genuine one) "zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz"
Cripes, a nitwhit quoting a lame brain. That's rich.
TeresaAnnB
believe it is from him ... i.e. don't believe what you read. Yet, you all are
so willing to believe everything you read by other people that you don't even
know??
How do you know that the various people posting is not JUST ONE person posting
under multiple names, repeating the same stuff over and over again? How do you
know that what they say is even true? Just as these people claim to have been
lied to by an impersonator, maybe they are now lying to the world as well.
Don't be so naive. Proof should come from both sides and to me, somebody
typing up a story on the internet and posting it to a newsgroup is not proof.
I could make up wild stories and some of you would probably never question it.
That is unbelieveable.
I realize that this impersonation may well have happened and for those who were
truly taken it, that is sad. But it's obvious that there are some who think
that continually talking about this and playing th victim part will get them
closer to Dan.
Simplea Amazing
seconds? No Jan I retyped letter X letter, word X word.
You, almost more than anyone, should know when it came to the Dan
Scam, J or was it always El to you, choreographed and directed what
was said, to whom it was said, when it was said, and so on and so
forth. So, for S to say things in a Halloween chat which happened
when El was really hot, and now to admit they were lies brings her to
a much higher level of understanding and intelligence than those of
you who still drink the drink, walk the walk and are mouthpieces for
J. Is it any wonder she likes you so much? ROFL
dre...@aol.com (Drew Jan) wrote in message news:<20030227223704...@mb-fe.aol.com>...
Simplea Amazing
deciding who she will recruit. One of them is naivete, not found in
all her victims, but it is a plus when perusing the possible
candidates. You seem like a nice enough person Teresa, so don't let
what you have written here, a definite sign of naivete, to lead you
one step closer to being another caught in the Dan scam web.
teres...@aol.com (TeresaAnnB) wrote in message news:<20030228055555...@mb-cs.aol.com>...
Onebornevryminut
this dirt has or will endear any of the fans to Dan.
He is not among us, never has been, never will be, especially after all the
disgusting lies spread about him!
I have witnessed for 6 years or longer the naive activities of so many here.
Those in awe thinking the imposter(s) to be Dan. All of them wanting it to be
true! Fighting each other to get close to the object of their affections!
Ha! an imposter!
Dan has stated in interviews he comes online to shop, maybe he reads this
stuff, probably not. Whatever, I sincerely doubt he would enjoy seeing his
privacy torn to shreds, he is a dignified man who lives his life out of the
public eye, always protecting his comings and goings, revealing absolutely
nothing to the public, much less to his fans.
He would never allow himself to be part of his own destruction!
Did any of the fans know of his engagement or marriage untill it was over and
done? NO?
Did anyone know he would be vacationing in Paris, and with his wife to be? NO?
Were any of the fans given facts of CD releases or Concert schedules and
locations? NO?
There are reasons he is so private. He wants his life to remain his and shared
only by those he is close to. Its not a fan folks!
We have all watched for 6 years as Jan proudly waved her banner of cyber sex
with whom she thought was Dan.
HA! why would a man such as Dan need to indulge in this lewd behavior? He
would have other options should he want to use them!
A man as private as Dan would never admit doing it, if he did!
Do you know what cyber sex is? To hear of a woman willingly subjecting
herself to that degree of filth is degrading and disgusting to say the least!
Jan of all people must stand strong in defence that it was Dan, in order to
maintain a tiny bit of her bruised dignity !
Dan could and should bring charges against those who maligned his name and
personality, projecting him to be evil and disgusting. The lies told would
ruin him, if all were divulged.
The cyber sex allegation alone is enough to harm his reputation!
His dignity and privacy he so treasures have been sacraficed.