Tiger Mountain announcement
Matt Rogalsky
For Immediate Release:
Plastic Billionaires Release Fourth Quarter Dividend
In order to prop up the sagging economy, mysterious music magnates The
Plastic Billionaires have declared their 2008 fourth quarter dividend
will come in the form of their new album. "Bankrupting Tiger Mountain
(By Credit Default Swap)" is being released completely free of charge
via their website, plasticbillionaires.com. The album will be
available in premium quality mp3 format.
Initially hoping to maximize profits on this project, the Billionaires
were informed by their legal department that the album bears a
striking resemblance to a previous effort by Brian Eno, an obscure
British musician. Rather than scrap the project, Billionaires CEO Mr.
M. Rogalsky proposed the corporation release it gratis rather than
incur legal wrangling over the likely massive income stream.
Spokeswoman Alexis Mature said that while this drop in projected
income would cause a number of problems, including a stop-work order
on construction of P-Bills Tower II, upper management was happy with
the decision.
"Mr. Rogalsky and Chairman R. Worrick are confident that while workers
laid off from other P-Bills projects will face some challenges during
2009, the cheery sounds of the "Tiger Mountain" album will surely
bring a measure of happiness to their lives", Mature stated at the
surprise press conference. "In particular, upbeat songs like "The True
Wheel" and "Fat Lady of Limbourg" will lend a jolly air to any soup
kitchen or unemployment line."
Press reviewers may request CD copies and further information by
emailing plasticbi...@gmail.com.
The Plastic Billionaires operate multinationally from offices in
Kingston, Ontario and Cornwall, Vermont. Rogalsky and Worrick are also
principals in Americanadian Consolidated Dirtmining Inc., and other
major profit-leveraging enterprises. Further information on this album
and others is available at plasticbillionaires.com and myspace.com/
theplasticbillionaires.
The Billionaires are now in the planning stages for their next long-
playing extravaganza, tentatively titled "Here Come the Farm Debts".
****
The Plastic Billionaires
BANKRUPTING TIGER MOUNTAIN (BY CREDIT DEFAULT SWAP)
Track Listing
1. Burning Airlines Give You So Much More 3:40
2. Back In Judy's Jungle 5:27
3. The Fat Lady of Limbourg 2:16
4. Mother Whale Eyeless 6:26
5. The Great Pretender 7:29
6. Third Uncle 4:15
7. Put A Straw Under Baby 3:38
8. The True Wheel 5:58
9. China My China 3:30
10. Taking Tiger Mountain 8:01