Desperately seeking help with 3.5 yr old!!!! Is anyone out there?
cjra
Last few months I came on here all I found was spam, but if there's
any one still out there, I'd love some advice! You all have been so
helpful in the past.
My 3.5 yr old is a "Spirited Child." Definitely. However, her
spiritedness has 99% of the time been of a happy sort. Her default
demeanor was positive, happy. She's just a little hurricane of
activity. She'd been far from perfect and had tested her limits often,
but nothing we couldn't handle with some effort and patience.
That all changed about a month ago. It was rather sudden one day which
makes me worried. It started off with weepiness. She wasn't throwing
tantrums, but just started to cry about everything - very much not
like her. In the past if she cried, it was because she was really
hurt. Then it progressed to major tantrums. We'd had tantrums in the
past, but nothing like this - very aggressive with me and DH, hitting,
pulling, kicking, screaming, totally in hysterics.
I'd lean towards it being a phase, it's just that it was rather
sudden. Her behaviour mirrors that of a friend's kid, whom she spends
a lot of time with. And at first I thought she was just imitating her,
but this has gone on too long for that, and she hasn't spent as much
time with her since this started.
Now, there IS a new baby in the house as of 2 weeks ago, but this
behaviour started a few weeks before that. She's otherwise thrilled
with her baby brother, loves him to pieces and always wants to be with
him. She's had another major change with her daycare closing - she
was at an in home daycare for the past 2.5 years and loved "Nana." As
of last week Nana retired....but then DD has talked for the past few
weeks about starting school, so hasn't seemed too disappointed about
not seeing Nana anymore. And again, this behaviour started weeks
before she even knew about Nana retiring. I do think Nana was a bit
stressed and scolded her a bit more in the final weeks (DD is still
having potty training issues, but was doing well). And DH has been
super stressed for the past month or two about work. And of course new
baby stress (baby is not gaining well and not latching so I'm nursing
every 2 hour for 30 minutes).
I'm trying to spend as much time with her as possible - fortunately
this baby sleeps (unlike her), so I spend all that time he's asleep
focusing on her. But this behaviour is just constant. No more my
laughing singing dancing child, in her place is a mean, unhappy,
aggressive, screaming child. I feel so bad *for* her as well as for
us, because this is so difficult.
I'm at a total loss about what to do.
Any suggestions?
dot mail dot to dot mo@gmail.com Mo
Not being a parent, unfortunately I have no advice to offer you. The only
thing that comes to my mind is that it might be a reaction to all the
chances your DD has seen in her life in a very short timespan and that she
might calm down when she gets (more) used to the new situation.
Perhaps now that this group is showing a little bit of activity again
someone will be able to give you some substantial input. Meanwhile: hang in
there and many congratulations on the arrival of your DS!
--
Mo