Does anyoneelse have terrible frustration?
charlie55
news:39B77291...@erols.com...
> I am having a terrible problem with frustration, a very short fuse,
> intolerance of being thwarted. Does any one else have this problem? If
> so whatt do you do about it? It is really causing me terrible problems
> in my relationships and in trying to do new things.
>
> Help, please.
>
> Sarah Lyon
Hi Sarah,
Yes, been there, done that and got the T shirt. even worse I do fall back
into that trap when things get low.
A friend of mine who works in my local supermarket has a daughter with ME
and she has had many relapses, during these relapses she spirals down and
has reached the suicide point a few times. As, in comparison, I seemed to
have a better control of the situation I was asked to give help and advice.
I achieved a temporary lift for her but she soon lapsed back.
The reason she lapsed back, I think, is that her mental attitude. We all get
to a point where all the usual questions are asked like "why me" and "is it
in my mind" and depending on our medical support we either get through it or
fall into the spiral of asking those same questions time and time again.
This, it seems to me, is where the frustration starts.
When I hit this stage I would take it one further step and start comparing
what I could do with what I was able to do, which at such a low time was sod
all. That then fuels the frustration and the cycle gets faster.
How do you stop that ?. Well it takes a lot of soul searching and acceptance
of the situation. I had to realise that the driven professional with a very
annoying need for things to be as perfect as they can be no longer existed.
I took solace in maintaining my moral attitude despite dealing with immoral
morons in the social and medical professions. I found I was more than a work
horse I used to try to be and a better person for all the negative things I
had encountered. I became more compassionate to others regardless of
anything. There are many other improvements to me as a person, sorry to blow
my own trumpet, and that lifts the spirit and stuffs any frustrations. So
concentrate on the new you, forget what you used to do or cope with and
bring the new good things to the front.
But since joining this news group I have realised that I am not unique in
this experience and wee have all coped with an illness as severe as many
others, but it does not have the decency to finish the job so we learn to
live a changed life and make the best of our new circumstances, good or bad.
An example was that even at the start of joining this group, just a few
months ago, I would never have had the confidence to write such personal
things. Knowing we all have the same problems helps and just look at others
on this group who's words and efforts do more to help than those paid to do
so.
Whilst I am in the pulpit a big pat on the back for all of you as you are
giants, no reference to physical size there, in this world.
Charlie
The real mind behind the slug humor, and I can spell in American (;-)
Helen
>to a point where all the usual questions are asked like "why me" and "is it
>in my mind" and depending on our medical support we either get through it or
>fall into the spiral of asking those same questions time and time again.
>This, it seems to me, is where the frustration starts.
Hi Charlie,
I think you've hit the nail on the head.
I think the MAJOR reason I have "survived" CFS for 18 years is because I had TREMENDOUS support, from my husband, my doctor, and my workplace. Parents actually came into my classroom and helped work with the kids so that I would not have to quit teaching. I wonder how many other people here have had people come into their workplace and help them do their job??? Of course when I got sick in 1982, CFS was unheard of, and no one knew what I had, and everyone was so sure that in just a few more weeks I'd be feeling fine. The weeks stretched into months and the months into years, and I am still teaching, but don't need any parents in the room to help now.
>When I hit this stage I would take it one further step and start comparing
>what I could do with what I was able to do, which at such a low time was sod
>all. That then fuels the frustration and the cycle gets faster.
>
>How do you stop that ?. Well it takes a lot of soul searching and acceptance
>of the situation. I had to realise that the driven professional with a very
>annoying need for things to be as perfect as they can be no longer existed.
Yes, yes, yes. I am also a recovering perfectionist. I remember the exact evening I gave up being a perfectionist.
It was definitely a "born again" experience. I was very frustrated and talking to my husband telling him that I just was giving up trying to have everything organized and in order like I wanted, because I just didn't have the energy. In the very next breath, I said to him, "Will you please straighten that lampshade?" Within a second we both bust out laughing at the absurdity of the two things I had just said one right after the other. But being able to laugh about my perfectionist tendencies, helped me to get over them and to realize, that the world won't stop turning if everything is not as organized and straight as I'd like it to be. You should see my house now! It's a total mess, piles of stuff all over, who cares?!?
I have become a Light-Housekeeper (as opposed to being a Heavy, perfectionist housekeeper.)
>I took solace in maintaining my moral attitude despite dealing with immoral
>morons in the social and medical professions. I found I was more than a work
>horse I used to try to be and a better person for all the negative things I
>had encountered. I became more compassionate to others regardless of
>anything. There are many other improvements to me as a person, sorry to blow
>my own trumpet, and that lifts the spirit and stuffs any frustrations. So
>concentrate on the new you, forget what you used to do or cope with and
>bring the new good things to the front.
Most excellent advice!
> we learn to
>live a changed life and make the best of our new circumstances, good or bad.
Exactly! We have to develop a new "normal."
>Whilst I am in the pulpit a big pat on the back for all of you as you are
>giants, no reference to physical size there, in this world.
>
>Charlie
Give yourself some of those big pats too :-)
>The real mind behind the slug humor, and I can spell in >American (;-)
Well I can spell in British if I have to. I spent the first four years of my teaching career on the island of Antigua in the West Indies. I had to teach the "Queen's English" and spelling there.
That was quite and experience because the dialect of the Antiguans was no where near any form of English.
Example: "Me bon tiga, me naw bang water ga tiga"
Translation: "I was born in Antigua, I didn't have to cross the ocean to get to Antigua."
I had 9 and 10 year olds in my first grade because they had never learned how to read. It's no wonder, because it was like learning a foreign language for them to try to read a book written in the Queen's English. I actually got to see the Queen when she visited. I've never even seen a US president in person, but I saw the Queen.
NEVER GIVE UP! <>< Helen <>< Wisconsin <>< USA
PWC 18 years *Maranatha* http://www.wels.net/
On rx & supplements I can work and jog--husband does housework
./.\. I am a Light-HouseKeeper :-)
>(O)<
.|.|. Psalm 54:4 "The Lord is the one who sustains me."
.l.l.
.l.l. In loving memory of PWC H.E.B.
------
charlie55
Thank you for your kind words, for various reason both due to the CFS and
personal I am having a really bad day and you lifted my spirits a lot.
You also have my full praise in teaching, especially youngsters. By
background is in design engineering and later in systems analysis which
involved a little education of adults. However when I was between jobs in my
middle 20's I did volunteer work in my children's classes. Apart from just
basic help I taught drawing, from my technical drawing experience, and
thoroughly enjoyed most of it. The feeling of satisfaction was so great. The
minds of the kids were also so educating to me, previous to this I had
addressed many groups of people ranging from subordinate design staff to
Executive Directors of Companies and Government officials. The most
frightening was this combined class of 45 seven years olds when I was
showing them one of my more complex drawings of a tank ventilation system, I
was expecting all sorts of tank questions and the usual army type ideas when
one little lad who had had his hand up for a little while asked "How many
pencils did you use to draw that mister". I was gob smacked and could not
answer his question as it was something I had never considered and to top it
a cheeky little so and so asked how many erasers I had used. I actually
worked out the number of leads I used later and told him and he was still
amazed.
The biggest satisfaction was a mixed race kid who basically was not accepted
by either races and as a result he was very difficult in class. through the
drawing, after a few problems, we made a friendship and his artistic ability
was brought out, he was very, very good indeed and went on to use that in
his later life. He still went down the thug route but not as much as he
could and now is a stable man with a depleted criminal record.
A teachers job is hardest if done properly but it is also most rewarding. It
is also most important in any young life regardless of parental help.
I was quite impressed with myself as well as despite being well qualified in
engineering and systems I failed to obtain a good pass in English and art, I
just scraped a pass if I was honest and failed history altogether. The
failings of a technical mind I guess yet since getting ill my interest has
changed to writing and history, not good at either but it is interesting.
Charlie
Feeling a lot better thanks(;-)
"Helen" <he...@itol.com> wrote in message
news:3.0.1.32.2000090...@itol.com...> >The reason she lapsed
back, I think, is that her mental attitude. We all get
> >to a point where all the usual questions are asked like "why me" and "is
it
> >in my mind" and depending on our medical support we either get through it
or
> >fall into the spiral of asking those same questions time and time again.
> >This, it seems to me, is where the frustration starts.
>
> Hi Charlie,
>
> I think you've hit the nail on the head.
>
Snip ...... Through modesty