Bro. Geraint Davies MP (Labour, Swansea West)
Widows Son
of Commons in May 2010 as Labour MP for Swansea West,
having lost Labour the Croydon Central seat at the 2005
general election. The Labour leadership and Brotherhood of
Freemasons were desperate to get him back in the House:
his skills as a second-to-none yes-man had been sorely
missed.
Brother Geraint Davies had long been known to colleagues
as “Last Resort” because, as a last resort, he was
frequently called upon by the Labour whips’ office to
follow orders which even the most squeaky-clean on-message
Labour MPs baulked at.
In his earlier spell as a backbencher his most notorious
performance was to defend the wildly unpopular public-
private partnership for London Underground – Labour whips
having failed to anyone else willing to do so. The ever
biddable Freemason Brother Geraint Davies duly piped up
and duly found himself savaged from the left by Ken
Livingstone and from the right by Howard Flight as Labour
backbenchers snorted with glee.
Ironically, given his ultra-loyalism – Freemason Brother
Geraint Davies voted for the Iraq war and only ever
rebelled against plans to make the House of Lords an
elected chamber – Bro. Geraint Davies now represents a
hotbed of Old Labourism, Swansea West. On hearing that
veteran MP Alan Williams was going to retire, Bro. Davies
decamped to Swansea, set up home and reinvented himself
overnight as a leftie.
Freemason Brother Geraint Davies proclaimed himself a
“good socialist,” having discovered that the constituency
was still dominated by an organisation calling itself
“Swansea Labour Left.” For good measure, Bro. Davies
included his revivalist reference to “socialism” on all
the letterheads he mailed to local members in advance of
the selection meeting.
The Brotherhood of Freemasons persuaded Swansea Labour
Party to overlook Bro. Geraint Davies record of unthinking
obedience, and his drubbing over his expenses at the hands
of the Daily Telegraph.
Freemason Brother Geraint Davies attributed his
staggeringly high postage costs – more than £38,000 – to
having a large and busy constituency. “Somebody has to do
the most work,” Bro. Davies declared with admirable
chutzpah. “I am proud it was me.” Brother Davies also
managed to spend £4,000 of public money renovating his
second home months before losing Croydon Central.
Freemason Brother Geraint Davies spent a further £1,500 on
the living room, claiming it was “in a state of disrepair.”
Astonishingly, given the highly efficient public transport
service between central London and East Croydon, Bro.
Davies also bunged in claims of £864 for taxi rides
without submitting receipts, even though travel costs were
not at the time permitted under the second home allowance.
In total, for 2004/5, Freemason Brother Geraint Davies
received £176,026 – the highest parliamentary expense
claim of the year. “This shows,” said the un-embarrassable
Bro. Geraint Davies, “that I was one of the most
hard-working MPs in Britain!”
Since returning to Westminster Bro. Davies has been up to
his old brown-nosing tricks with new members, firstly
putting it about that he had “been asked to stand for the
shadow cabinet.” When it became apparent that his charm
offensive was failing to impress even the greenhorns, he
abruptly withdrew and then pretended that he never
intended standing in the first place.
But you can’t keep a shameless greaser down. No sooner had
Freemason Brother Geraint Davies withdrawn from one
contest than he entered another – this time for election
to Labour’s parliamentary committee, the backbench shop
stewards’ group. Brother Geraint Davies pulled out all the
stops – even copying, word for word, a letter canvassing
support from one of his opponents. Fortunately, the
“duplication error” was spotted and Freemason Brother
Geraint Davies continues to languish, unloved but forever
biddable, in the wilderness.
(Copied from Private Eye #1277, 10-23 December 2010, page 9)
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