[PLUG] The Necronomicon Files
vonj...@hotmail.com
overview of hundreds of documents, stories, films, and other items relating
to the most infamous grimoire of the twentieth century. It's unlikely this
book will end the debate, but it will provide much food for thought and
arguments for all sides to grapple with. (Practitioners will probably be
most interested in the essay on Lovecraftian magick written by Ceremonial
Magician/ Pagan John Wisdom Gonce III.)
You can find out more about the NECRONOMICON FILES at the
publisher's page:
http://www.nightshadebooks.com/
or check out my own page below for more Nec-related stuff.
Yrs.,
Daniel Harms
http://members.tripod.com/~danharms/necfile.htm
-----------== Posted via Deja News, The Discussion Network ==----------
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Freya
Wow! The Necronomicon! I can hardly contain myself!
Yagma Dogama TRZAGJ^JDHKKERMGVLA! I remember this spell from the
Necronomicon! It brings the Hoiruesrthoa to your house to make you
cheese sandWITCHES!
Please don't use this newsgroup to sell your books. The internet in
general and newsgroups in particular are rampantly becoming the havens
of junk advertisements and I would hate to see this 'group become a
haven of trash adverts.
By the way, the Necronomicon Files does look like an interesting book
for Lovecraft fans but not a resource of Magick information.
I.M.E.I.
Freya wrote in message <364354...@prodigy.net>...
>
>By the way, the Necronomicon Files does look like an interesting book
>for Lovecraft fans but not a resource of Magick information.
I know a few chums in Chaos would would argue that point.
vonj...@hotmail.com
Freya wrote:
> vonj...@hotmail.com wrote:
> > You can find out more about the NECRONOMICON FILES at the
> > publisher's page:
> > http://www.nightshadebooks.com/
> Wow! The Necronomicon! I can hardly contain myself!
> Yagma Dogama TRZAGJ^JDHKKERMGVLA! I remember this spell from the
> Necronomicon! It brings the Hoiruesrthoa to your house to make you
> cheese sandWITCHES!
That version is flawed in most editions; the Hoiuesrthoa ends up
making you into cheese sandwiches.
> Please don't use this newsgroup to sell your books. The internet in
> general and newsgroups in particular are rampantly becoming the havens
> of junk advertisements and I would hate to see this 'group become a
> haven of trash adverts.
If this were a trash advertisement, would I even both
reading your response? ;-)
I've only posted this particular message to newsgroups where the
Necronomicon turns up fairly often, whether as the Book of Ultimate Evil
or the biggest joke ever perpetrated in the occult community. Hopefully,
the book will be a valuable resource to everyone who likes talking about
the Necronomicon and to everyone who can't stand to.
> By the way, the Necronomicon Files does look like an interesting book
> for Lovecraft fans but not a resource of Magick information.
The book contains at least three sections of interest to magicians
(totalling approximately 100 pages), giving a practitioner's views of
modern magick, Cthulhu Mythos magick, and psychic defense. No spells
for making cheese sandwiches, or anything else, but I don't expect it
to be everyone's cup of tea.
Yrs.,
Daniel Harms
http://members.tripod.com/~danharms/
ny'rl'thot'p
>> http://members.tripod.com/~danharms/necfile.htm
>By the way, the Necronomicon Files does look like an interesting book
>for Lovecraft fans but not a resource of Magick information.
49981112 IIIom Hail Kutulu!
E6!
Kati-Jane:
# Does anyone know where I can get a reliable copy of the R'lyeh Text?
"a reliable copy of the R'lyeh text" is an oxymoronic phrase. all
text which claims to be such must be considered suspect, since the
popularization of _The Necronomicon_ (if this is to what you refer
and I have not mistaken your meaning) was achieved through the work
of a writer of horror and fiction, its reality contested even by
the apparent author of its existence (Howard P. Lovecraft).
note that many consider Lovecraft to have been a mystic of some
dimension, and that it is possible he was unaware of the source
of the material which he communicated, thinking it 'merely his
own imagination'. it is possible that _The Necronomicon_ as he
described does in fact exist in some other dimension or within
some hidden enclave, perhaps by another title and with different
contents than he was able to convey.
nonetheless, there have been claimants to the more concise
revelation of this text in human history (the most popular, it
appears, is the Avon Simon text, which succeeds on account of
presentation and delivery moreso than content or reliability).
there are others who have attempted such revelation without
claiming to have passed on the entirety of the Horrid Tome.
I recently saw, in Berkeley's Shakespeare bookstore, a text
by Hyatt and another author (forgive my failing memory) that
purports to contain 'leaves of the R'lyeh text' with commentary.
perhaps needless to say, it was mostly the commentary. as it
was rather pricey, I did not obtain it yet for the library.
there is a decent FAQ on _The Necronomicon_ which is archived
at in the Hollyfeld Usenet Archives (cf. /FAQs or consult the
"nconref" in the alt.magick FAQ REFs directory at this URL:
http://www.hollyfeld.org/amgkfaq/
for a more detailed account of the publishing histories).
also cf.
http://www.hollyfeld.org/Esoteric/Avidyana/Gnostik/grimoiris.fn
ny'rl'thot'p
--
ty...@houseofkaos.abyss.com (emailed replies may be posted); cc me replies;
http://www.abyss.com/tokus; http://www.luckymojo.com/mojocat.html
KAYVEN
># Does anyone know where I can get a reliable copy of the R'lyeh Text?
>
Yes, it is possible to obtain your very own copy of the R'lyeh Text. In fact,
I've got a copy of it right here in front of me with its garish purple cover
and its alligator upon it. (The alligator is obviously a clever allusion to
something. Perhaps the idea of something capable of surviving from the time
before man to the present day with little change? Or is this giving Skoob
Books too much credit?)
You can find it at Amazon.Com for the low low price of $9.59 under the title
of The R'Lyeh Text : Hidden Leaves from the Necronomicon (Skoob Esoterica).
Now keep in mind that George Hay, Robert Turner, and the esteemed Colin
Wilson have used the NAME of "The R'Lyeh Text" for what they claim are those
parts of the Necronomicon not translated from the John Dee manuscript "Liber
Logaeth" in their original 1978 _The Necronomicon: The Book of Dead Names_.
(Which was rereleased in 1993 but is presently out of print.) Thus Hay and
company have used the title _The R'Lyeh Text_ instead of the perhaps more
accurate, though foolish sounding, _The Necronomicon II: More from the Book of
Dead Names_.
So to sum up, if you are looking for the The R'Lyeh Text (written by Hay,
Turner, and Wilson which is suppose to contain the rest of the Liber Logaeth
translation), then you can easily get one.
If, however, you are looking for a translation of ancient lost greenish
tablets of great size supposedly written before man waked the surface of our
world, obtained during the First Age of Mu, stored in the Grand Temple of
Ythogtha which held court in the Muvian province of G'thuu, taken by the great
Zanthu to the Plateau of Tsang when mighty Mu sank beneath the waves, preserved
within the walled-city of Shamballah for centuries, transcribed by an unknown
author upon smaller clay tablets in 300 BC and given to King Wu Ling of Chao in
the hopes that such secret knowledge would defend his kingdom from the
onslaught of the Ch'in kingdom to the south, written from oral history by later
Chinese writers over centuries, finding its way mysteriously into Europe and
translated into Latin sometime in the 1300s, translated into English and
smuggled out of China duing the 1700s, adapted and analyzed in a German book
called The Liyuhh, and containing the secrets of Cthulhu, his "children", and
the lands presently beneath the Pacific Ocean............. well then I think
you might want to give up the search now.
THAT version of the R'lyeh Text is NOT available from your local or non-local
bookseller.
------ Steven Marc Harris
The Necronomicon Desktop Theme:
http://members.aol.com/kayven/necro.htm
But before you go off looking for this entertaining addition to your drab and
dreary windows desktop, have you ever stopped to think how valuable and
exciting it would be to own the recently released The Necronomicon Files : The
Truth Behind The Legend by Daniel Harms & John Wisdom Gonce III by Night Shade
Books (www.nightshadebooks.com/books.html)?
I know that I used to think that I could live my life without ever bothering
to own this eagerly anticipated tome. I used to tell all my friends that The
Necronomicon Files didn't have anything to offer me. Especially since I
thought I knew everything there was to know about the Necronomicon. Heck, I
had read Bob Larson's entry on the Necronomicon in his Book of Cults so I knew
I'd heard the definitive word on the subject.
BUT I WAS WRONG. I knew *nothing* about the dozens of various books calling
themselves the Necronomicon. I had no clue that Simon's version of the
Necronomicon was being utilized by other practicing magicians in their own
literary efforts. I didn't know that the Hay Necronomicon was an admitted
hoax. I was ignorant of how vast the mythology of the Necronomicon was in so
many media outlets. I didn't know that the theories behind the use of the
Necronomicon in magickal rituals could be explained in such an easy to read,
yet complex enough to be challenging, way. In short, I was nothing.
But I got better.
The Necronomicon Files : The Truth Behind The Legend by Daniel Harms & John
Wisdom Gonce III by Night Shade Books (www.nightshadebooks.com/books.html) has
all of those answers and a whole lot more. It is a kick-ass resource and a
superb reference that doesn't skip a beat, and takes no prisoners, when
reviewing the last 76 years of how the Necronomicon has taken on a life of its
own. Just from the detailed descriptions of the hundreds of
Necronomicon-related products out there, I've saved $72!
So do yourself a favor and enrich your life! Order a copy of The
Necronomicon Files : The Truth Behind The Legend by Daniel Harms & John Wisdom
Gonce III by Night Shade Books (www.nightshadebooks.com/books.html) today!
So what are you doing still reading this posting? Get your virtual behind
over to:
www.nightshadebooks.com/books.html
and pick up a copy.
And then, go ahead a pick up the Necronomicon Desktop Theme over at:
http://members.aol.com/kayven/necro.htm
Then just sit back and relax.
Disclaimer: This posting, the desktop theme, and my ravings about the wonderful
The Necronomicon Files : The Truth Behind The Legend by Daniel Harms & John
Wisdom Gonce III by Night Shade Books (www.nightshadebooks.com/books.html) is
in no way sanctioned or connected to the authors or the publisher. Any and all
lawsuits or crimes violating local child endangerment laws that result from
this posting should be directed toward me, though I'd prefer it if you'd just
lay the blame at the feet of some patsy.
vonj...@hotmail.com
ty...@houseofkaos.abyss.com wrote:
> note that many consider Lovecraft to have been a mystic of some
> dimension, and that it is possible he was unaware of the source
> of the material which he communicated, thinking it 'merely his
> own imagination'. it is possible that _The Necronomicon_ as he
> described does in fact exist in some other dimension or within
> some hidden enclave, perhaps by another title and with different
> contents than he was able to convey.
This makes me curious. How would we know if such a book was
the Necronomicon if it had a different title and contents than those
suggested by Lovecraft? What would be the standards for evaluating it?
> there are others who have attempted such revelation without
> claiming to have passed on the entirety of the Horrid Tome.
> I recently saw, in Berkeley's Shakespeare bookstore, a text
> by Hyatt and another author (forgive my failing memory) that
> purports to contain 'leaves of the R'lyeh text' with commentary.
> perhaps needless to say, it was mostly the commentary. as it
> was rather pricey, I did not obtain it yet for the library.
Yes, the R'lyeh Text. It includes a great deal of commentary,
most of which has little or nothing to do with Lovecraft or the R'lyeh
Text and more with Colin Wilson's failed film project.
> there is a decent FAQ on _The Necronomicon_ which is archived
> at in the Hollyfeld Usenet Archives (cf. /FAQs or consult the
> "nconref" in the alt.magick FAQ REFs directory at this URL:
> http://www.hollyfeld.org/amgkfaq/
> for a more detailed account of the publishing histories).
Kevin Kendrick Chua's FAQ is an impressive document, but somewhat
out-of-date and has some minor errors. An annotated and updated copy
may be found here:
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/9879/necfaq2.htm
> also cf.
>
> http://www.hollyfeld.org/Esoteric/Avidyana/Gnostik/grimoiris.fn
Interesting. I would be interested in knowing more about the
terma tradition, especially with regard to the so-called "false termas".
If anyone can provide me with any information on this subject, I would
be grateful.
ny'rl'thot'p
>> note that many consider Lovecraft to have been a mystic of some
>> dimension, and that it is possible he was unaware of the source
>> of the material which he communicated, thinking it 'merely his
>> own imagination'. it is possible that _The Necronomicon_ as he
>> described does in fact exist in some other dimension or within
>> some hidden enclave, perhaps by another title and with different
>> contents than he was able to convey.
vonj...@hotmail.com writes:
> This makes me curious. How would we know if such a book was
>the Necronomicon if it had a different title and contents than those
>suggested by Lovecraft? What would be the standards for evaluating it?
the resonance of psychic or spiritual vibrations would conform in
some measure to the descriptions provided by Lovecraft in his
fictional stories. that is, we would discover that Lovecraft had
in some way communicated the text inaccurately, through some sort
of bias, or with additions ascribed from within his private life.
this was covered to some degree in "Liber Grimoiris", and there
is no real way to 'confirm' in any absolute sense such a resonance.
the standards of evaluating such a text would not be quantitative
but qualitative, since such a 'book' would not yet be in physical
form, locked or dwelling as it would be in some other dimension.
only those whose experience includes the study or reception of
such documents/data would be capable of discerning the details of
similarity and difference between what Lovecraft described and
any other terma-like perception.
>> purports to contain 'leaves of the R'lyeh text' with commentary.
>> perhaps needless to say, it was mostly the commentary. as it
>> was rather pricey, I did not obtain it yet for the library.
> Yes, the R'lyeh Text. It includes a great deal of commentary,
>most of which has little or nothing to do with Lovecraft or the R'lyeh
>Text and more with Colin Wilson's failed film project.
someone else already mentioned the full title and I've archived it.
could you describe the film project and its general premise?
>> there is a decent FAQ on _The Necronomicon_ which is archived
>> at in the Hollyfeld Usenet Archives (cf. /FAQs or consult the
>> "nconref" in the alt.magick FAQ REFs directory at this URL:
>> http://www.hollyfeld.org/amgkfaq/
>> for a more detailed account of the publishing histories).
> Kevin Kendrick Chua's FAQ is an impressive document, but somewhat
>out-of-date and has some minor errors. An annotated and updated copy
>may be found here:
>http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/9879/necfaq2.htm
wonderful! thank you for the referral. I have reviewed the
Necronomicon pages here and found them to be of SUPERB quality,
from the beautiful review of CLow's Anti-FAQ to the glossary
and history pages detailing more reliable scholarship than is
contained in KKC's text. admirable, and I have contacted
the author in private email about possibly archiving some of it.
>> also cf.
>> http://www.hollyfeld.org/Esoteric/Avidyana/Gnostik/grimoiris.fn
> Interesting. I would be interested in knowing more about the
>terma tradition, especially with regard to the so-called "false termas".
>If anyone can provide me with any information on this subject, I would
>be grateful.
it has been some time since I have looked at information on termas,
and my library is currently a hundred miles southward, so I will
have to postpone this research for another time. where did you
hear about "false termas"? was it part of the quotations in my
essay or did it come up in some other context? very important for
the occult/mystical relevance of any single product. I suspect
that only authorities within religious traditions are capable of
rendering such an assessment. perhaps those familiar with both
mystical states and Lovecraft's corpus could provide it in this
case. when I obtain access to my library once more I'll look more
deeply into termas and pass along text to these newsgroups, since
I see I am not the only one with an abiding interest in this subject.
Tom Schuler
ny'rl'thot'p wrote in message <72j9f5$u5n$1...@shell.accesscom.com>...
>
>vonj...@hotmail.com writes:
>> This makes me curious. How would we know if such a book was
>>the Necronomicon if it had a different title and contents than those
>>suggested by Lovecraft? What would be the standards for evaluating it?
>
>the resonance of psychic or spiritual vibrations would conform in
>some measure to the descriptions provided by Lovecraft in his
>fictional stories.
Yeee-haw! Break out the dowsing rods, boys! Let's measure that psychic
resonance and get the frequency of those spiritual vibrations.
>this was covered to some degree in "Liber Grimoiris", and there
>is no real way to 'confirm' in any absolute sense such a resonance.
Whoops! Stuff them dowsing rods back in your packs, boys! It turns out we
can't measure that stuff after all.
H. West
> > dimension, and that it is possible he was unaware of the source
> > of the material which he communicated, thinking it 'merely his
> > own imagination'. it is possible that _The Necronomicon_ as he
> > described does in fact exist in some other dimension or within
> > some hidden enclave, perhaps by another title and with different
> > contents than he was able to convey.
>
> the Necronomicon if it had a different title and contents than those
> suggested by Lovecraft? What would be the standards for evaluating it?
He could have been inspired by real grimiores (no not talking about Keys of Solomon, a book which isn't likely
to inspire such as The Necronomicon). He most likely has such first hand sources, as the close association
with black books and general occultism was first popularised by Lovecraft himself. Likely The Necronomicon is
an archetype for certain grimoires (certain being those which fit The Necronomicons archetype), Lovecraft saw
something in this self created classification and made their stereotype. It's not a case of twisting facts, he
created (or recognized) an archetype and thus archetyped certain books in the same act. A book either fits the
archetype or it doesn't.
--
мм мм мм мм ммммммммммм мммммммммммм мммммммммммм
нллл нллл нллл нллл ллВБАААААБВл ллВБААААААБВл ллВБААААААБВл
АнлВл АААААнллл ААААнлВл АААААнллл лВллпплпплпл лВллппллпплпп пплпппппппплл А
нлБл нллл нлБл нллл лБлп п л п лБлп пл п п нллл пл
АнлАл АААААнллл ААААнлАл АААААнллл лАл АААА п АнлБл АА л АААААААААнллл АА л А
АнлАлммммммммммм АААнлАл АААААнллл лАлммммммммм лВл мммммммм ААААнллл АА А
АнлААААААААААБВл АААнлАл АААААнллл лААААААААБВл ллл ллллллллл ААААнллл АААААА
БнлАллплпллппппп БББнлАл БББББнллл лАлппллппплп пл ллппппллл ББББнллл ББББББ
ВнлАл п л ллл ВВВВнлАл ВВВВВнллл лАл л В ВВ л л ВВнллл ВВВВнллл ВВВВВВ
лнлАл ллл п ллл ллллнлАл ммм ллл лАл л лллллл л ммлллнллл ллллнллл лллллл
лнлАл лллллнллл ммм лБлллплллм пл лАл ллллллллллмммлллллнллл ллллнллл лллллл
ВнлБл ВВВВВнллл ллВл лВВл лппл п лБл мммммммм ммммммммммллл ВВВВнллл ВВВВВВ
БнлВл БББББнллл лллл лллп Б п пл лВл лллллллл ллллллллллллл ББББнллл ББББББ
Б лпл БББББ плл пплл плл ББББББ лл плл пппппллп ппллпппплпплл ББББ плл ББББББ
А л л ААААА пл пл пл АААААА л пл АААА пл АА пл АА п пл ААААА пл АААААА
л л л л л л п л л л
л л л л л л л л
њ Ф -њ-ФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФ--њФ Ф њ
ГолВБА H. WEST 1998 АБВлнГ
њ Ф -њ-ФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФ--њФ Ф њ
лл VISIT MY NEWSGROUP AND BE DAMNED
лл news:alt.coven.cthulhu
л DOWNLOAD THE TERROR
о
о
лл ЩмКЛАЦХАФУТБЖЗВЪЩмКЛМААШАЧОПАЮЭВЬБВаАФЬБ
лл ВИЙВвбаАЯВИАнйиСРАЦХАФЯВлкеНШАЧОПАЮЭВЬБВИЙВвбаАЯВл
л кБВГАЕАЫВААзжедВАгпоАнйАиСРАЦХАФУТБЖЗВЪЩ
о
о
њ Ф -њ-ФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФ--њФ Ф њ
ГолВБА H. WEST 1998 АБВлнГ
њ Ф -њ-ФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФФ--њФ Ф њ
benedicthassell
>Whoops! Stuff them dowsing rods back in your packs, boys! It turns out we
>can't measure that stuff after all.
Shit.
I'll never get it back in a coathanger shape now.
--
Ben H
Tom Schuler
benedicthassell wrote in message <72n7mr$abg$1...@apple.news.easynet.net>...
Didn't you read dowsing expert Ben Rodda's posts? You have to use apple
wood. Those coathangers don't work, he says.
Larry Caldwell
writes:
> Didn't you read dowsing expert Ben Rodda's posts? You have to use apple
> wood. Those coathangers don't work, he says.
You need to reread Lovecraft, Tom. Proper dowsing as detailed in the
Necronomicon involves the use of a sea cucumber. Apples don't sit well
on the batrachian tastebud.
-- Larry
dor...@midrivers.com
On 1998-11-16 d...@teleport.com said:
>Didn't you read dowsing expert Ben Rodda's posts? You have to use
>apple wood. Those coathangers don't work, he says.
Damn, now I gotta go back and re witch all those wells, didn't use apple
wood, and my old coat hangers don't work %$%#@#@^&%#@
Oooo
oooO ( )
( ) ) / Allan
\ ( (_)
(_) dor...@midrivers.com
Therapy helps, but screaming obscenities is cheaper.
Tom Schuler
dor...@midrivers.com wrote in message <72q97h$28b$3...@news3.infoave.net>...
>
>
>On 1998-11-16 d...@teleport.com said:
> >Didn't you read dowsing expert Ben Rodda's posts? You have to use
> >apple wood. Those coathangers don't work, he says.
>Damn, now I gotta go back and re witch all those wells, didn't use apple
>wood, and my old coat hangers don't work %$%#@#@^&%#@
Remember to get those people to put back all that water you didn't find,
too.
Tom Schuler
Larry Caldwell wrote in message ...
>> wood. Those coathangers don't work, he says.
>
>Necronomicon involves the use of a sea cucumber. Apples don't sit well
>on the batrachian tastebud.
Sea cucumbers are a little floppy for dowsing work, it seems to me. They
droop all the time, not just when they're sensing water.
Robin Pfeifer
Tom Schuler schrieb in Nachricht
<3fj42.2012$Sz4.1...@news.teleport.com>...
That's because you use them in the ocean, stupid. They find water all the
time!
Larry Caldwell
writes:
> Sea cucumbers are a little floppy for dowsing work, it seems to me. They
> droop all the time, not just when they're sensing water.
Ah, but you dowse with the sea cucumbers using scuba gear. When properly
used, they never fail to locate water.
"Harumph," he says, peering down at his vaguely batrachian aspect.
-- Larry
Tom Schuler
Larry Caldwell wrote in message ...
That is correctable, but some flexibility is desirable.
Ben Rodda
Robin Pfeifer wrote:
> Tom Schuler schrieb in Nachricht
> <3fj42.2012$Sz4.1...@news.teleport.com>...
> >
> >Larry Caldwell wrote in message ...
> >>In article <vvZ32.778$Sz4.5...@news.teleport.com>, d...@teleport.com
> >>writes:
> >>
> >>> Didn't you read dowsing expert Ben Rodda's posts? You have to use apple
> >>> wood. Those coathangers don't work, he says.
> >>
Actually apple, willow or poplar wood works. Brass rods too.
> >>You need to reread Lovecraft, Tom. Proper dowsing as detailed in the
> >>Necronomicon involves the use of a sea cucumber. Apples don't sit well
> >>on the batrachian tastebud.
> >
> >
However when using a sea cucumber remember their natural defense is to turn
themselves inside out. A warning to the unprepared.
> >Sea cucumbers are a little floppy for dowsing work, it seems to me. They
> >droop all the time, not just when they're sensing water.
>
> That's because you use them in the ocean, stupid. They find water all the
> time!
As I grew up in "Cthulu Land" I tend to find that the proper invocation of the
Elder Sign before dowsing helps to keep the sea cucumber more rigid. If your
cucumber is still flaccid I advise showing it some XXX porn of your choosing.
B.
I go away for a week and look what kind of silliness you all degrade into with
out me. I feel left out:(
Also for those of you who REALLY like Lovecraft might be interested to know
there is a place called the Whatley Inn that stands roughly where Dunwitch is
supposed to be...
Tom Schuler
Ben Rodda wrote in message <36544063...@newbridge.com>...
>
>I go away for a week and look what kind of silliness you all degrade into
with
>out me. I feel left out:(
You can contribute more silliness any time you like, Ben.
David The CyberGuineaPig Jacobs
wrote:
>Larry Caldwell wrote in message ...
>>You need to reread Lovecraft, Tom. Proper dowsing as detailed in the
>>Necronomicon involves the use of a sea cucumber. Apples don't sit well
>>on the batrachian tastebud.
>
>
>Sea cucumbers are a little floppy for dowsing work, it seems to me. They
>droop all the time, not just when they're sensing water.
See Dr. Laban Shrewsbury's canonical work, "Viagra in the
Necronomicon" (1915). The man was truly ahead of his time. #%o)
David "The CyberGuineaPig" Jacobs
-- dmja...@zipworld.com.au --
Proudly subverting Australia's political
system in the name of the Mythos.
Gareth Wilson
> As I grew up in "Cthulu Land" I tend to find that the proper invocation of the
> Elder Sign before dowsing helps to keep the sea cucumber more rigid. If your
> cucumber is still flaccid I advise showing it some XXX porn of your choosing.
> B.
Or a good dose of Viagra...
--
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Gareth Wilson
Christchurch
New Zealand
e-mail gr...@student.canterbury.ac.nz
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Ben Rodda
Gareth Wilson wrote:
> Ben Rodda wrote:
> > As I grew up in "Cthulu Land" I tend to find that the proper invocation of the
> > Elder Sign before dowsing helps to keep the sea cucumber more rigid. If your
> > cucumber is still flaccid I advise showing it some XXX porn of your choosing.
> > B.
>
> Or a good dose of Viagra...
> --
Have you ever tried to give Viagra to a sea cucumber????? They keep droping it when
they turn inside out!!!B.