I got all kinds of dead, dying and defective handheld electric devices i don't know what to do With

[b o z o]

I'm a hoarder and got dozens of dead, dying and defective electric
handheld devices like Remington shavers, Sharper Image nose hair
trimmers, Ortho electric toothbrushes, Black & Decker electric screw
drivers, generic brand thermos size dildos, and they're all heavy,
weighty, black jack and billy club like with lots of dead D-size
batteries and i hate to give 'em all away just cuz they're not
working ...

-bdn-

[R H Draney]

b o z o filted:

By contrast, I've got two Zip drives and a box of thirty disks, all in perfect
working order the last time I checked, and I'd be happy to give them away to
anyone who can find a use for them...throwing them in the trash just seems
wasteful, though....r


--
Me? Sarcastic?
Yeah, right.

[Arcadian Rises]

Up until recently I had no compunction to dispose of unnecessary
things. My motto was "when in doubt, throw it out". But things changed
dramatically: next month I must go to my late parents' house and sort
things out. All of a sudden I became a hoarder, attached to
everything; I cannot throw away even the bottle that contained Vitamin
D3 my Mom gave me last year. How am I going to part with all those
things, including the house? I start practicing: every day I get rid
of something.

[Tommy Joe]

That's a funny one Bozo, probably because it's based on truth. I
especially enjoyed the last two lines and your confession-like
opening, "I am a hoarder." I think I'll save this one. Consider it a
compliment.

TJ

[b o z o]

well if it's any help, just for you, I'll take the house off your
hands

-bdn-

[OllieN...@aol.com]

> -bdn-- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

Our minds are the real hoarders. Memories of everything that has
happened. How do we unload it without unloading what is worth
keeping? and what is worth keeping?

[Cheryl]

On 12/05/2013 10:51 PM, Arcadian Rises wrote:

> Up until recently I had no compunction to dispose of unnecessary
> things. My motto was "when in doubt, throw it out". But things changed
> dramatically: next month I must go to my late parents' house and sort
> things out. All of a sudden I became a hoarder, attached to
> everything; I cannot throw away even the bottle that contained Vitamin
> D3 my Mom gave me last year. How am I going to part with all those
> things, including the house? I start practicing: every day I get rid
> of something.

Having helped a parent downsize twice, and then (with one of my sisters)
cleared out the last place after her death, my reaction has been a
longing for a totally minimalist existence. I haven't achieved it yet,
but like you, I am practising. I am working on eliminating things that I
haven't actually used or read in decades, bit by bit. Sometimes it seems
like I'm proceeding very rapidly; other times, I don't seem to be making
any progress at all.

--
oCheryl

[OllieN...@aol.com]

If I got rid of what I don't need the first thing to go would be my
penis.

[Tommy Joe]

OllieNort wrote:



> Our minds are the real hoarders.  Memories of everything that has
> happened.  How do we unload it without unloading what is worth
> keeping? and what is worth keeping?

Let it go, all of it. All we need to remember is the smell of our
own farts. I once visited a friend in the hospital who was dying. In
fact, he died during the visit. As he lay there mumbling in what I
thought was pain - sure looked that way to me - suddenly a smile
crossed his face as he began weakly to mutter the word "farts" over
and over again, a look of sheer acceptance and comfort crossing not
only his face but his body and the aura that surrounded it. As he
passed to the other side he cut one last fart as a parting gift to
me. It was the smelliest fart I've ever encountered. It was
precious.

Our farts are in our memories, and our memories are in our farts

TJ

[Tommy Joe]

Cheryl wrote:



> Having helped a parent downsize twice, and then (with one of my sisters)
> cleared out the last place after her death, my reaction has been a
> longing for a totally minimalist existence. I haven't achieved it yet,
> but like you, I am practising. I am working on eliminating things that I
> haven't actually used or read in decades, bit by bit. Sometimes it seems
> like I'm proceeding very rapidly; other times, I don't seem to be making
> any progress at all.

Some people need a fire or some other disaster to clear the clutter
from their lives. But a real hoarder will return to the practice in
no time flat, I've seen it. I am not a hoarder. I do have some
things here, not much, but some things I'd like to throw out, lined up
near the door in fact, but putting it on the sidewalk is illegal and I
don't have a car to move it away. I'll have to pay somebody one of
these days. I do not own many things, but I still feel burdened by
some of it. I think back to days of having absolutely nothing and in
some ways it seems like a luxury. Of course when you're younger it's
easier to handle going without things, especially if you have a life
outside your apartment, your life occupied with happenings, not so
much with possessions.

TJ

[Tommy Joe]

OllieNort wrote:



> If I got rid of what I don't need the first thing to go would be my
> penis.

I agree. But the urge to use it stays in the brain. That makes it
difficult to throw out. I was watching an MMA fight on tv tonight.
One guy got accidentally kicked in the balls twice in the same round.
He needed time to recover. In the UFC they give up to five minutes to
recuperate. He went on to eke out a win.

But as the accidental kicks to his groin continued I began
wondering if these guys are the gladiators they claim to be. I mean,
if you're really dedicated to the sport, wouldn't you have your balls
surgically removed? I would. I'd have my face sanded down - nose
removed, lips tightened over tough toothless gums, my eyes set back
two inches into my skull to make them hard for probing fingers to get
at them. I'd turn myself into a fighting machine. I'd call myself
Slate Face. My entire body would be surgically built to take anything
anybody throws at me.

Don't fuck with Slate Face,

TJ

[b o z o]

lol

[Arcadian Rises]

On May 14, 3:35 am, Tommy Joe <j...@bellsouth.net> wrote:
> Cheryl wrote:
> > Having helped a parent downsize twice, and then (with one of my sisters)
> > cleared out the last place after her death, my reaction has been a
> > longing for a totally minimalist existence. I haven't achieved it yet,
> > but like you, I am practising. I am working on eliminating things that I
> > haven't actually used or read in decades, bit by bit. Sometimes it seems
> > like I'm proceeding very rapidly; other times, I don't seem to be making
> > any progress at all.
>
>    Some people need a fire or some other disaster to clear the clutter
> from their lives.

I agree, and totally disagree.
I sometimes have the urge to throw out an entire container without
sorting through the contents.When I do it,I feel very relieved: a huge
burden is off my shoulders.
Other times, I decide on a brief inspection and I run into a Rosenthal
piece or some jewelry I never knew about so if (thankfully)* they
don't carry any sentimental value, they're certainly worth something
intrinsically.

Not unlike this very thread: a mixed array of great moral support,
bathroom humor, sensible advice, tasteless jokes and nostalgia.
Sometimes all of those emanating from the same author, like you TJ.

So, what's the deal? Hoarding or Occam's razor?
Yeah, I know, it's Aurea Mediocritas...

[Gus]

"Cheryl" <cper...@mun.ca> wrote in message
news:avd32g...@mid.individual.net...
> ...Sometimes it seems like I'm proceeding very rapidly; other times, I

> don't seem to be making any progress at all.
> --
> oCheryl

The Aristocrats, told to a baby
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IKGuh44_LBc

[Tommy Joe]

Arcadian Rises wrote:

> > Some people need a fire or some other disaster to clear the clutter
> > from their lives.


>
> I agree, and totally disagree.
> I sometimes have the urge to throw out an entire container without
> sorting through the contents.When I do it,I feel very relieved: a huge
> burden is off my shoulders.
> Other times, I decide on a brief inspection and I run into a Rosenthal
> piece or some jewelry I never knew about so if (thankfully)* they
> don't carry any sentimental value, they're certainly worth something
> intrinsically.
>
> Not unlike this very thread: a mixed array of great moral support,
> bathroom humor, sensible advice, tasteless jokes and nostalgia.
> Sometimes all of those emanating from the same author, like you TJ.
>
> So, what's the deal? Hoarding or Occam's razor?
> Yeah, I know, it's  Aurea Mediocritas...

Your post was entertaining. I liked the beginning where you said
you agree and also totally disagree. That was funny. But then you
got into using a bunch of words I never heard of and lost me. I also
totally enjoyed your compliment regarding my mixed array of emotions
and sentiments.

TJ

[b o z o]

Arcadian Rises sounds like you had some real nice stuff to peruse thru
before throwing out the baby with the water ... like salvaging you
said your piece of Rosenthal before blindly heaving the uninspected
and surrounding contents of your jewelry box just to clean house --
not so much in my case -- my corresponding container might be if I'm
lucky a collectible lunch bucket with a genuine matching thermos, some
plastic forks, spoons and knives and then maybe buried beneath it all
a real genuine metal one i stole from a lunch counter at Woolworths

-bdn-

[OllieN...@aol.com]

I love your dedication. So few are willing to sacrifice for their
art. But what if you did all that and the sport is outlawed? Like
the guy who had his vocal cords cut in the Twilight Zone?
There are people who want to look like animals and they are getting
their faces altered surgically. Adding tattoos for markings and
getting their teeth sharpened.

[Arcadian Rises]

My point is that life is like a Turkish Bazar. You may find a great
bargain if you're willing to spend your time searching for it.
Whatever you do, you may miss a great opportunity: if you comb every
inch of the Bazar, you miss going to a museum with the other tourists;
if I started going through all my parents' stuff I would exhaust
myself emotionally; if I don't do it, I may throw out something
important. So missing opportunities is part of life and it's a matter
of pure luck to miss the lesser opportunity.

I also
> totally enjoyed your compliment regarding my mixed array of emotions
> and sentiments.

Oh, please, don't take it personally.
>
> TJ- Hide quoted text -

[Arcadian Rises]

Oh, please don't take it so literally, I used those examples as
metaphors for family relics of great sentimental value, like the
plastic fork in your example used on the baby's first meal.

> not so much in my case -- my corresponding container might be if I'm
> lucky a collectible lunch bucket with a genuine matching thermos, some
> plastic forks, spoons and knives and then maybe buried beneath it all
> a real genuine metal one i stole from a lunch counter at Woolworths
>

> -bdn-- Hide quoted text -

[R H Draney]

OllieN...@aol.com filted:

>
>On May 13, 5:08=A0pm, Cheryl <cperk...@mun.ca> wrote:
>>
>> I am working on eliminating things that I
>> haven't actually used or read in decades, bit by bit. Sometimes it seems
>> like I'm proceeding very rapidly; other times, I don't seem to be making
>> any progress at all.
>

>If I got rid of what I don't need the first thing to go would be my
>penis.

And if I got rid of what I don't need, your penis would be high on the list as
well....r

[Tommy Joe]

OllieNort wrote:



> I love your dedication.  So few are willing to sacrifice for their
> art.  But what if you did all that and the sport is outlawed?  Like
> the guy who had his vocal cords cut in the Twilight Zone?
> There are people who want to look like animals and they are getting
> their faces altered surgically.  Adding tattoos for markings and
> getting their teeth sharpened.

If your story of people having surgery to look like animals is
true, that is hilarious. It's hilarious even if you made it up. I
can see a guy going into a surgeon's office like it was a tattoo
parlor and saying, "Give me the cat, I want the cat", pointing at his
face. Or another person coming in and asking, "Do you do elephants?"
I have heard of the tooth sharpening thing. Nothing new if you think
about it as dentists have been doing that to people for years with a
process called "crowning". These idiots are getting the same process
but electing to go without the crown, like a guy who goes to a paint
shop to have the paint stripped from his car but not repainted. I
suppose the sharp toothed people can always go in for the crowns if
they lose interest in their chosen fashion. I like the animal face
thing though. Funny. I also liked your reference to that twilight
zone episode.

Give me the maggot look (like a midget Michelin Man)

TJ

[Tommy Joe]

Arcadian Rises wrote:




> Oh, please, don't take it personally.

Please grant me permission to take all compliments personally.
Thanks. As for your Turkish bazaar analogy, doing one thing and
missing another, even though I am a big complainer in life I am not
one who looks back with regret. My outlook is that I am satisfied
with what I am and that everything that ever happened to me good or
bad went into shaping it, so I never look back with regret or missed
opportunites. Well, maybe briefly, now and then - but not in an
ongoing fashion like many people I've met. People who look back at
stupid job opportunities they didn't take 20 years ago and complain
about it today. That is truly stupid as well as ugly. When people
like that complain about missed opportunities that in fact could have
been found disasters, it makes me feel sorry for them. Then I feel
superior because I'm actually feeling sorry for someone other than
myself for once.

TJ

[Tommy Joe]

R H Draney wrote:




> And if I got rid of what I don't need, your penis would be high on the list as
> well....r

Personally, Draney - I think a little Ollie meat might be just what
the doctor ordered to set you straight.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

Please do not se little in connection with my penis. small is more
appropiate.

[b o z o]

Oh trust me Arcadian everything i own is a relic, and not to be overly
punctilious here but the jewel in this case wouldn't have been a piece
of plastic flatware, it prolly wouldn't have worked, it was the real
McCoy, a genuine piece of unintended historical salvage from an era
gone by, a now collectible metal fork from an infamous segregated
lunch counter at a Woolworths during the late 50s early 60s that I was
gonna use to stab somebody if they tried to stop me from walking out
without paying.

-bdn-

[Tommy Joe]

OllieNort wrote:




> Please do not se little in connection with my penis.  small is more
> appropiate.

There are certain advantages to having a small dick. For instance,
if you want a young child or adult midget to suck your small cock,
they can take it all the way down to the balls whereas with a larger
dick they may not be able to go even halfway down, or even below the
burgeoning war head region of the blossoming boner. Be grateful for
your small dick for that reason and also for the reason that when it
becomes totally useless it will take up less hanging space.

Look on the bright side,

TJ

[Tommy Joe]

b o z o wrote:



> Oh trust me Arcadian everything i own is a relic, and not to be overly
> punctilious here but the jewel in this case wouldn't have been a piece
> of plastic flatware, it prolly wouldn't have worked, it was the real
> McCoy, a genuine piece of unintended historical salvage from an era
> gone by, a now collectible metal fork from an infamous segregated
> lunch counter at a Woolworths during the late 50s early 60s that I was
> gonna use to stab somebody if they tried to stop me from walking out
> without paying.

Now that is the kind of convoluted story I enjoy reading from you
Bozo.

TJ

[b o z o]

convoluted AND funny -- but i betcha Arcadian Rises is long gone
already --- i got the feeling she was rich and i could move in with
her

-bdn-

[Tommy Joe]

You mean she never saw your face?

TJ

[b o z o]

YEAH not only convoluted AND funny but perhaps even true if you can
depend on repressed dream altered life consciousness when I
resynthesized being humiliated, raped and molested at a desegregated
Woolworth's lunch counter during the civil rights era in a previous
life that I reported on when i was being cross-examined in my $3M
discriminatory lawsuit for being irreversibly abused and damaged as
shown in this B&W photo of a 1960s lunch counter sit-in -- i think
that's me on the right -- or maybe the left -- I forget which -- and i
was trying to remember which side of the lunch counter I may have been
working on at the time too -- as a waiter or waitress -- or perhaps i
may have just been working in the background somewhere shoplifting --
i can't remember -- but i still suffered emotional and discriminatory
damages ... in any case I'm pretty sure that's me with sugar in my
hair ... or was i pouring it?

http://blogs.clarionledger.com/jmitchell/files/2013/05/bilde.jpeg

http://blogs.clarionledger.com/jmitchell/files/2013/05/bilde-300x249.jpeg

-bdn-

[Tommy Joe]

> http://blogs.clarionledger.com/jmitchell/files/2013/05/bilde-300x249....
>
> -bdn-



Tell me Bozo, are you practicing up to get into the Guinness Book
of World Records for writing the longest unbroken sentence of all
time? You're nowhere near the record, but it seems you're heading in
that direction, and with some work and time you may one day beat the
record, whatever it is. I will then read your record-breaking screed
and get into the Guinness Book of World Records as the world's only
human being who has probed himself able to read the entirety of your
long unbroken sentence without taking a single breath.

Whew,

TJ

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

Puncation deficit disorder. Well known to occur in clowns.
As to the picture. Looks like clean fun to me. If all the opposition
they faced was sugar in the hair then they got off easy.

[Tommy Joe]

OllieNort wrote:



> Puncation deficit disorder.  Well known to occur in clowns.
> As to the picture.  Looks like clean fun to me.  If all the opposition
> they faced was sugar in the hair then they got off easy.

Swear to God, I had much the same thought. I only looked at one
picture, didn't see any sugar, just a bunch of whites around a solo
black woman, and I thought if that's as bad as it gets she's doing
alright. I figure in the annals of history and evolution it's sort of
an initiation, a rite of passage, almost collegiate type thing.

TJ

[b o z o]

Eudora Welty's short story on Medgar Evers' death: 'From the Unknown'

http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20130602/NEWS0107/306020016?gcheck=1&nclick_check=1

http://www.clarionledger.com/article/20130602/NEWS0107/306020016?gcheck=1&nclick_check=1

-bdn-