concrete goose

[somebody]

where can I buy a concrete goose?

[somebody]

On May 19, 10:52 pm, somebody <tom.ungvar...@gmail.com> wrote:
> where can I buy a concrete goose?

seriously, no one knows where to get a concrete goose? Fine, my ex-
fuck buddy knows...
http://www.buycheapr.com/us/result.jsp?ga=us18&q=concrete+geese

Now, which dress should I get her?

[OllieN...@aol.com]

On May 20, 10:57 pm, somebody <tom.ungvar...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On May 19, 10:52 pm, somebody <tom.ungvar...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > where can I buy a concrete goose?
>
> seriously, no one knows where to get a concrete goose?  Fine, my ex-

> fuck buddy knows...http://www.buycheapr.com/us/result.jsp?ga=us18&q=concrete+geese

>
> Now, which dress should I get her?

The goose or the ex?

[somebody]

the ex-goose. Actually, I killed the first goose. I tried to move
her but she was a fat stubborn bitch, and her head came off.

[OllieN...@aol.com]

Dude, if you are delivering Pizzas and buying dresses for a concrete
goose you need to baker act yourself NOW!

[somebody]

I don't have a concrete goose. She lost her head. And is gone.

[somebody]

On May 22, 10:37 pm, somebody <tom.ungvar...@gmail.com> wrote:
> On May 21, 9:51 pm, OllieNort...@aol.com wrote:
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
>
> > On May 21, 8:01 pm, somebody <tom.ungvar...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > On May 21, 8:49 am, OllieNort...@aol.com wrote:
>
> > > > On May 20, 10:57 pm, somebody <tom.ungvar...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > On May 19, 10:52 pm, somebody <tom.ungvar...@gmail.com> wrote:
>
> > > > > > where can I buy a concretegoose?
>

> > > > > seriously, no one knows where to get a concretegoose?  Fine, my ex-

> > > > > fuck buddy knows...http://www.buycheapr.com/us/result.jsp?ga=us18&q=concrete+geese
>
> > > > > Now, which dress should I get her?
>

> > > > Thegooseor the ex?
>
> > > the ex-goose.  Actually, I killed the firstgoose.  I tried to move

> > > her but she was a fat stubborn bitch, and her head came off.
>
> > Dude,  if you are delivering Pizzas and buying dresses for a concrete

> >gooseyou need to baker act yourself NOW!
>
> I don't have a concretegoose.  She lost her head.  And is gone.

This place sells 7 different kinds. 28" one is $24 unpainted, $42
painted. Why so much for painted?
http://www.concretelady.biz/animals.html

[OllieN...@aol.com]

> painted.  Why so much for painted?http://www.concretelady.biz/animals.html- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -

You ever try to paint a goose?

[somebody]

> > painted.  Why so much for painted?http://www.concretelady.biz/animals.html-Hide quoted text -

>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> You ever try to paint a goose?

no, what are you suggesting. Is that a euphemism for something
freaky? I'm not into that. Whatever it is. That you are suggesting.

I just want a guard goose to protect the house from criminals, and my
tomatoes from squirrels.

[Tommy Joe]

On May 25, 1:48 am, somebody <tom.ungvar...@gmail.com> wrote:

> I just want a guard goose to protect the house from criminals, and my
> tomatoes from squirrels.

Then you'll have to get something to protect the goose and
something to protect whatever's protecting the goose until you have
built yourself an fortress of security that few have ever known. It's
like needing dust covers for your dust covers.

TJ

[somebody]

The goose and I will have each others back.

[Tommy Joe]

On May 26, 12:09 am, somebody <tom.ungvar...@gmail.com> wrote:


> The goose and I will have each others back.

The goose says "Duck", and when you do it pecks your eyes out with
it's beak. It's a practical joke for the goose, to yell "duck" and
then goose-peck the ducker's eyes to shreds.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

I went to a doctor that was a duck. He was sued for mallard
practice. The court ruled he was a quack.

[somebody]

don't quit your day job.

[Tommy Joe]

On May 26, 6:58 pm, OllieNort...@aol.com wrote:

> I went to a doctor that was a duck.  He was sued for mallard
> practice.  The court ruled he was a quack.

What was the bill?

TJ

[Tommy Joe]

On May 26, 8:31 pm, somebody <tom.ungvar...@gmail.com> wrote:



> > I went to a doctor that was a duck.  He was sued for mallard
> > practice.  The court ruled he was a quack.



> don't quit your day job.

Bullshit. Ollie's day job should be writing jokes for known
standup comics. But not a 9 to 5 thing, just a deal where he's paid
by the joke and can deliver them at his leisure. As for me, I will
never quit my day job, because I don't have one.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

I would steal the jokes and just change the Jew to a Gay.

[Tommy Joe]

On May 27, 11:50 pm, OllieNort...@aol.com wrote:


> I would steal the jokes and just change the Jew to a Gay.

Why not, that's what the Jews do. I thought about that back when
Polish jokes were so big. I wondered why polish, are they really dumb
people? I didn't think so. I realized then that most polish jokes
were just substitutes for nigger and jew jokes because there isn't a
polish contingent large enough to raise a stink over it.

A similar method I thought of for myself would be to have people
pay to commission me to write a short story with them as the lead
character. I would have to use their name, but I would use the same
story that I use for everybody else with blanks where the names are
supposed to be so I can fill them in with the right person's name the
same way people buy a painting set and paint by numbers.

Another idea I had was to take photos of smudges on the walls or
elsewhere that look like other things, the same way you look at a
cloud and see things in it. You find something on your wall that
looks like something else - I have a smudge in my bathroom that at a
glance looks like a guy with a gun wearing wading boots - and you give
that thing a name - like mine might be called "The Duck Hunter" - then
sell it as abstract art. Take the photo and make several copies so
you'll always have the master, then go to work dolling up the copies
with a bit of paint or whatever you're going to use to make it look
like an actual painting. This is real art. Not going to school and
learning how to draw - but going one step further - being a real
artist - not one who merely paints - but one who sees the art in all
things - a true artist - that is a truly superior method of seeing who
the real artists of our time are.

I don't need to make art, man - all I have to do is see it - because
I'm a real artist, not some arts and crafts asshole
TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

Thats interesting. A concept artist. Thats what I am. I have
concepts. Now a days it is too laborious to actually master a medium
like oils, or even digital painting. We need to move fast. Knock it
out. It is a consumable. Look at 3 Stooges comedies. Those were
assembly line comedies and are still making money. No big
productions, just the gags and the three of them.

I am not knocking hi art. It is just not worth pursuing for most of
us.

[Tommy Joe]

On May 29, 2:01 pm, OllieNort...@aol.com wrote:

> Thats interesting.  A concept artist.  Thats what I am.  I have
> concepts.  Now a days it is too laborious to actually master a medium
> like oils, or even digital painting.  We need to move fast.  Knock it
> out.  It is a consumable.  Look at 3 Stooges comedies.  Those were
> assembly line comedies and are still making money.  No big
> productions, just the gags and the three of them.
>
> I am not knocking hi art.  It is just not worth pursuing for most of
> us.

I am not saying this to be funny and in fact wish I had a scanner
so I could send you the photo. It was a photo of a bunch of debris
along with dead bodies lying face down in a cove near the ocean after
that big tsunami hit in the Indian Ocean a few years back. The
picture was very artistic. But I don't think the person who took it
saw it that way. Had the photo been separated from the story, I'm
telling you, a lot of people would not have known that what they were
looking at were the backs of floating dead people. So that made me
think of taking that photo and having it enlarged and placed in a
frame - maybe even worked on a bit to give it some color, maybe not,
it's optional - and then sold with a title such as "Tsunami Burial
Ground" or something equally or even more appropriate. Once you give
it the title, those seeing it will will note for the first time that
wow, those do look like the backs of dead people floating in water -
yet not so immediately noticeable as to make anyone think it was a
photograph. It would have an abstract look to it, even more so after
the enlarging and copying process. Then you can even add color with
actual oil paint to make it look like a real work of art - which of
course it already is - because you saw it - you saw the art in it -
unlike the guy who took the picture and saw it only as a bunch of dead
backs, you were able to see the art in it, which means you own it -
you own the art of it - you saw it, it's yours - finders keepers,
losers weepers.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

You ever see how they make those paintings for the starving artist
sales? It is an assembly line. They have it down to a science.
Sponges cut out to look like a boat, they dab it on, another guy does
the clouds. Almost freaky to see a painting done on an assembly
line. They are each an 'original' not a copy. That to me is REAl
art. A complete ruse. A fabrication, a lie. All art is a lie. An
attempt to say something that probably shouldn't be said. Destroy all
art, silence music, gag the poets, break the fingers of the writers!
Now thats arty!

[somebody]

Have you seen the movie "Certified Copy"?

[somebody]

This thread is about concrete gooses, not art. Please people try and
stay on topic!

So my ex wants to go to the concrete statuatory place together. (When
I called the place, the girl on the phone said: they have 7 different
kinds of concrete gooses. Seven! Like the Wonders of the World.) We
were supposed to talk about it this evening and go tomorrow. I
noticed she called a couple times and didn't hear the phone in the
other room Anyway, I call her and her son answers. Apparently, he is
the man of the house now. (His dad is gone from the weird ass two
week vacation he spent with them.) I didn't say anything to him. He
did all the talking and after about 8 words I'd heard enough and "hung
up" Actually, you don't technically hang up phones anymore. Used to
back in the Rotary Days. You could slam the receiver down. They used
to do that in the movies alot. Now a days people throw or stomp on
their cell phone. But back in the Rotary Days, those phones were
virtually unbreakable. You could bludgeon someone to death with one.
Trying doing that with a cell phone!

[Tommy Joe]

On May 30, 9:15 am, OllieNort...@aol.com wrote:

> You ever see how they make those paintings for the starving artist
> sales?  It is an assembly line.  They have it down to a science.
> Sponges cut out to look like a boat, they dab it on, another guy does
> the clouds.  Almost freaky to see a painting done on an assembly
> line.  They are each an 'original' not a copy.  That to me is REAl
> art.  A complete ruse.  A fabrication, a lie.

All jokes aside I agree with you about art being phony. I cut out
the ending and saved the part above and will enter into your files on
my computer. No, I have never seen the painting you're talking about,
but regardless I do feel that art is phony, especially once it falls
into that realm of description. I like arty or poetical things, but I
do not like art or poetry.

TJ

[Tommy Joe]

Very arty post, the way you worked from art to concrete geese
then segued back to art by artfully telling us about the rotary phone
and how it can be slammed down and the cellphone has to be thrown or
stomped on to achieve the same level of satisfaction. You forgot
about ramming the cellphone down someones throat. That's what I
usually do - just smash it into their face and then rub in around ala
James Cagney rubbing that grapefruit into that actresses face in the
move Public Enemy. I still have a landline and will never give it
up. I do not like cellphones although I understand their purpose and
own one for use at certain times such as when driving etc.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

> TJ- Hide quoted text -

>
> - Show quoted text -

I love the title of this thread - Concrete Goose. Sums up the world
in 2 words. Plastic Goose is too obvious. But concrete - the thing
roads are made of, bunkers that dictators die in, the driveway you got
your head smashed in as a kid with. And Goose. The word alone is
odd. Everyone knows what a goose is. Mother Goose. Silly Goose.
Loosy Goosy.

I am going to start a tribute band and call it Concrete Goose. We
will play Sousa March songs that everyone can goose step to.

[somebody]

Like Laibach?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OC73Os9NmZE&feature=related

[Tommy Joe]

On May 31, 9:03 am, OllieNort...@aol.com wrote:

> I am going to start a tribute band and call it Concrete Goose.  We
> will play Sousa March songs that everyone can goose step to.

After their fame wanes and they grow older we can bring the
Concrete Goose back in a tribute group wrestling match against the
Iron Butterfly with proceeds going to charity and the charity being
the financial welfare of the members of both groups.

TJ

[somebody]

> > painted.  Why so much for painted?http://www.concretelady.biz/animals.html-Hide quoted text -

>
> > - Show quoted text -
>
> You ever try to paint agoose?

You ever try to goose agoose?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N_N2kJg29v4

The trip to the concrete lady was disappointing. Didn't see any
gooses I wanted to bring home.

[somebody]

On May 31, 9:03 am, OllieNort...@aol.com wrote:

> > > This thread is aboutconcretegooses, not art.  Please people try and
> > > stay on topic!
>
> > > So my ex wants to go to theconcretestatuatory place together.  (When

> > > I called the place, the girl on the phone said: they have 7 different

> > > kinds ofconcretegooses.  Seven!  Like the Wonders of the World.)  We

> > > were supposed to talk about it this evening and go tomorrow.  I
> > > noticed she called a couple times and didn't hear the phone in the
> > > other room  Anyway, I call her and her son answers.  Apparently, he is
> > > the man of the house now.  (His dad is gone from the weird ass two
> > > week vacation he spent with them.)   I didn't say anything to him.  He
> > > did all the talking and after about 8 words I'd heard enough and "hung
> > > up"  Actually, you don't technically hang up phones anymore.  Used to
> > > back in the Rotary Days. You could slam the receiver down.  They used
> > > to do that in the movies alot.  Now a days people throw or stomp on
> > > their cell phone. But back in the Rotary Days, those phones were
> > > virtually unbreakable.  You could bludgeon someone to death with one.
> > > Trying doing that with a cell phone!
>
> >       Very arty post, the way you worked from art toconcretegeese
> > then segued back to art by artfully telling us about the rotary phone
> > and how it can be slammed down and the cellphone has to be thrown or
> > stomped on to achieve the same level of satisfaction.  You forgot
> > about ramming the cellphone down someones throat.  That's what I
> > usually do - just smash it into their face and then rub in around ala
> > James Cagney rubbing that grapefruit into that actresses face in the
> > move Public Enemy.  I still have a landline and will never give it
> > up.  I do not like cellphones although I understand their purpose and
> > own one for use at certain times such as when driving etc.
>
> > TJ- Hide quoted text -
>
> > - Show quoted text -
>

> I love the title of this thread -ConcreteGoose.  Sums up the world
> in 2 words. PlasticGooseis too obvious.  Butconcrete- the thing

> roads are made of, bunkers that dictators die in, the driveway you got

> your head smashed in as a kid with.  AndGoose.  The word alone is

> odd.  Everyone knows what agooseis.  MotherGoose.  SillyGoose.
> Loosy Goosy.
>

> I am going to start a tribute band and call itConcreteGoose.  We

> will play Sousa March songs that everyone cangoosestep to.

When you get the band together I would like to audition for lead...
Lead complainer. Every band needs one.

[somebody]

On May 31, 11:28 pm, Tommy Joe <j...@bellsouth.net> wrote:
> On May 31, 9:03 am, OllieNort...@aol.com wrote:
>

> > I am going to start a tribute band and call itConcreteGoose.  We
> > will play Sousa March songs that everyone cangoosestep to.
>
>     After their fame wanes and they grow older we can bring theConcreteGooseback in a tribute group wrestling match against the

> Iron Butterfly with proceeds going to charity and the charity being
> the financial welfare of the members of both groups.
>
> TJ

I dreamed of blue butterflies last night. Very beautiful.

[Tommy Joe]

On Jun 2, 8:44 am, somebody <tom.ungvar...@gmail.com> wrote:

> I dreamed of blue butterflies last night.  Very beautiful.

I haven't had what could be described as a beautiful dream in many
years. Some are interesting though. Better than any god damn movie,
that's for sure.

TJ

[OllieN...@aol.com]

>
> The trip to the concrete lady was disappointing.  Didn't see any
> gooses I wanted to bring home

I think it is geese not gooses. Maybe your ideal of a goose is not
realistic. The perfect concrete goose could just be an excuse to
avoid making a commitment. I know the fear tyou have, you settle for
a pretty good goose than one day you see the perfect concrete goose
and what do you do?

[somebody]

goose it!