phir mujhe bazm meiN le aaye haiN, dekhe ko'ii!
Raj Kumar
maiN, aek lambe arse ke ba'ad, aap ki is bazm meiN haazir ho rahaa
hooN. mera va'ada to yeh tha k maiN "ziNdagi aur maut" par aek
mufassil she'ri mazmoon le kar aap ki Khidmat meiN haazir hooN ga ---
magar kyaa karooN, voh mazmoon to (shaitaan ki aaNt ki tarah) baRhtaa
hi jaa rahaa hai! jooN-hi giraft meiN aa paaya, maiN zaroor use aap ki
Khidmat meiN pesh karooN ga!
dar-eeN-asnaa, socha k aap ko (az-rah-e-tabarruk) aek Ghazal hi
sunaata chalooN --- albatta, kyaa karooN k ab yeh Ghazal bhi, sivaaye
matle aur maqte ke, aek "musalsal" si Ghazal ho kar reh gayee hai!
:-((
So what? Let's go ahead, read it, savour it and (hopefully) enjoy
it!!!
--------------
matla arz hai k
1. phir mujhe bazm meiN le aaye haiN, dekhe ko'ii
baat merii na sune ko'ii na samjhe ko'ii!
2. sub'h ho, shaam ho, do-paihr ho yaa neem-shabii!
ghar ka darvaaza khulaa rakkho k aaye koo'ii!!!
3. be-yaqeenii se ko'i meraa sar-aa-paa dekhe!
ho ke hairaan mirii aaNkh meiN jhaaNke ko'ii!
4. meri nazroN se mire dil ka dhaRaknaa jaaNche!
apni nazroN se miri nabz TaTole ko'ii!!!!!!!
5. ban ke tasveer mire saamne kuchh yooN baiThe
mere ka'abe ko sanam-Khaana banaa de ko'ii!
6. ban ke mar_ham mire har zaKhm ko sehat baKhshe!
ban ke daaroo mira har dard sameTe ko'ii!!!
7. raushanii ban ke mire dil ko munavvar kar de
ban ke Khush_boo mire anfaas meiN mehke ko'ii!
8. ban ke sho'la mire aihsaas ko be-daar kare!
ban ke naGhma mire afkaar meiN gooNje ko'ii!!!
9. aaNkh mooNdooN to mujhe dekh ke "kyaa kuchh" soche!
aaNkh kholooN to mujhe dekh ke jheNpe ko'ii!!!!!!!!
aur ab maqta arz hai:
10. Qais shaa'ir hai, ko'i shaiKh-o-braahman to naheeN!
is ke ash'aar meiN "voh baat" na DhooNDhe ko'ii!!!
--------------
hasb-e-m'amool, aap sabhi dostoN ke ta'assuraat ka intezaar rahe ga!
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
Jameel Faraz
aap se pehli martaba is bazm meN ham kalaam hooN. is Khoobsoorat
ghazal par meri mubarak baad qubool farmaaye. poori ghazal achhi
dikhi lekin yeh sher Khusoosan ziyada pasand aaya:
ban ke tasveer mire saamne kuchh yooN baiThe
mere ka'abe ko sanam-Khaana banaa de ko'ii!
bohat Khoob.
niyazmand ... Jameel Faraz
Irfan 'Abid'
R K Sb, aadaab!
aap kaa ye :tabarruk: pasand aayaa! vaqt kii kamii tafseelii
raae.zanii meN haail hai, lihaazah mubaarakbaad hii par iktifaa kartaa
huuN.
niyaazmand,
Irfan :Abid:
Vasmi Abidi
aadaab arz hai.
> yaaraan-e-mehfil:
>
> maiN, aek lambe arse ke ba'ad, aap ki is bazm meiN haazir ho rahaa
> hooN. mera va'ada to yeh tha k maiN "ziNdagi aur maut" par aek
> mufassil she'ri mazmoon le kar aap ki Khidmat meiN haazir hooN ga ---
> magar kyaa karooN, voh mazmoon to (shaitaan ki aaNt ki tarah) baRhtaa
> hi jaa rahaa hai! jooN-hi giraft meiN aa paaya, maiN zaroor use aap ki
> Khidmat meiN pesh karooN ga!
"ham ne maana ki taGhaaful na karoge lekin ..."
aap chaaheN to mazmoon qistoN meN haazir kar sakte haiN
ham paRhte raheN, aur aap likhte raheN ... donoN kaam ba-yak-vaqt
chalte raheN.
> dar-eeN-asnaa, socha k aap ko (az-rah-e-tabarruk) aek Ghazal hi
> sunaata chalooN --- albatta, kyaa karooN k ab yeh Ghazal bhi, sivaaye
> matle aur maqte ke, aek "musalsal" si Ghazal ho kar reh gayee hai!
> :-((
>
Ghazal behad haseen o dil-nishiin hai. is liye saheeh symbol yooN hona
chahiye - :-))
>
> So what? Let's go ahead, read it, savour it and (hopefully) enjoy
> it!!!
>
> --------------
>
> matla arz hai k
>
> 1. phir mujhe bazm meiN le aaye haiN, dekhe ko'ii
> baat merii na sune ko'ii na samjhe ko'ii!
>
> 2. sub'h ho, shaam ho, do-paihr ho yaa neem-shabii!
> ghar ka darvaaza khulaa rakkho k aaye koo'ii!!!
>
neem-shabii == twilight??
>
> 3. be-yaqeenii se ko'i meraa sar-aa-paa dekhe!
> ho ke hairaan mirii aaNkh meiN jhaaNke ko'ii!
>
> 4. meri nazroN se mire dil ka dhaRaknaa jaaNche!
> apni nazroN se miri nabz TaTole ko'ii!!!!!!!
>
> 5. ban ke tasveer mire saamne kuchh yooN baiThe
> mere ka'abe ko sanam-Khaana banaa de ko'ii!
>
> 6. ban ke mar_ham mire har zaKhm ko sehat baKhshe!
> ban ke daaroo mira har dard sameTe ko'ii!!!
>
yahaaN tak aate aate to maiN bhi kuchh jhoomne lagaa!
magar yahaaN "daaroo" ka matlab "davaa" hai, "sharaab" naheeN. am I
right?
>
> 7. raushanii ban ke mire dil ko munavvar kar de
> ban ke Khush_boo mire anfaas meiN mehke ko'ii!
>
> 8. ban ke sho'la mire aihsaas ko be-daar kare!
> ban ke naGhma mire afkaar meiN gooNje ko'ii!!!
>
> 9. aaNkh mooNdooN to mujhe dekh ke "kyaa kuchh" soche!
> aaNkh kholooN to mujhe dekh ke jheNpe ko'ii!!!!!!!!
>
vaah!
qavaafi alfaaz - "gooNje", "jheNpe", "mehke", "sameTe", vGh - ka bahut
Khoobsoorat istema'l hua hai.
>
> aur ab maqta arz hai:
>
> 10. Qais shaa'ir hai, ko'i shaiKh-o-braahman to naheeN!
> is ke ash'aar meiN "voh baat" na DhooNDhe ko'ii!!!
>
kyaa baat hai!
Ghazal mubaarak ho.
niyaaz-mand,
Vasmi
Raj Kumar
>
> aap se pehli martaba is bazm meN ham kalaam hooN. is Khoobsoorat
> ghazal par meri mubarak baad qubool farmaaye. poori ghazal achhi
> dikhi lekin yeh sher Khusoosan ziyada pasand aaya:
>
> ban ke tasveer mire saamne kuchh yooN baiThe
> mere ka'abe ko sanam-Khaana banaa de ko'ii!
>
> bohat Khoob.
>
Jameel Saahib:
aap ka mohabbat-naama mausool hu'aa aur apni Ghazal par aap ke
ta'assuraat paRh kar bahut Khushii hu'ii. Ghazal pasaNd farmaane ke
liye, aur maNdarja-baalaa she'r par Khusoosi taur se daad dene ke
liye, aap ka bahut bahut shukriya!
aap ka ALUP par aana bahut achchha lagaa. ab guzaaish kamtareen ki yeh
hai k aap un "deegar forums" par chaahe jii bhar ke jaa'iye magar
gaahe-e-ba-gaahe is galii se bhi nikalte rahiye ga! :-))
Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
Raj Kumar
>
> R K Sb, aadaab!
>
> aap kaa ye :tabarruk: pasand aayaa! vaqt kii kamii tafseelii
> raae.zanii meN haail hai, lihaazah mubaarakbaad hii par iktifaa kartaa
> huuN.
>
bahut bahut shukriya, Irfan Saahib, k aap ne itna vaqt to nikaala k
meri is kaavish ko paRhaa aur, chaahe mukhtasaran hi sahii, kam-az-kam
Khaaksaar ko "shaad-baash" to keh gaye! :-))
Kaash k aap is Ghazal par apni tafseelii raaye de paate aur, us ki
ba-daulat, shaayad is ke kuchh ash'aar mazeed saNvar jaate! Khair,
chaliye, aaj nahiiN to phir kabhi sahii!
khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
Raj Kumar
> >
> > maiN, aek lambe arse ke ba'ad, aap ki is bazm meiN haazir ho rahaa
> > hooN. mera va'ada to yeh tha k maiN "ziNdagi aur maut" par aek
> > mufassil she'ri mazmoon le kar aap ki Khidmat meiN haazir hooN ga ---
> > magar kyaa karooN, voh mazmoon to (shaitaan ki aaNt ki tarah) baRhtaa
> > hi jaa rahaa hai! jooN-hi giraft meiN aa paaya, maiN zaroor use aap ki
> > Khidmat meiN pesh karooN ga!
>
> "ham ne maana ki taGhaaful na karoge lekin ..."
lagta hai, aap aaj kal Ghaalib ko bahut ziyaada paRhne lage haiN,
Vasmi Saahib. huzoor, kaheeN aisa na ho k, an-qareeb, hameN Khud aap
ki baateN samajhne meiN bhi diqqat pesh aane lage! LOL
kehne ka matlab yeh k aap be-shak Mirza ki "sareer-e-Khaama" [jo k
"navaa-e-sarosh" se kam naheeN hai] se mehzooz-o-mustafeed hote raheN
magar aisa na ho k kaam-vaam se jaate raheN! :-))
>
> aap chaaheN to mazmoon qistoN meN haazir kar sakte haiN
> ham paRhte raheN, aur aap likhte raheN ... donoN kaam ba-yak-vaqt
> chalte raheN.
>
aap ka yeh Khayaal yaqeenan nek hai --- voh is liye k mera mazmoon koi
40-50 ash'aar par mabni hoga aur, miyaaN, ash'aar bhi aise k dushman
tak saraahane pe majboor ho jaayeN aur yaar-log un ash'aar ko
mehfil-mehfil 'quote' kareN! :-))
aur phir, she'ri mazmoon meiN, sirf ash'aar ka ijtemaa' hi mera
maqsood naheeN hota bal-k un par bharpoor "commentary" pesh karna bhi
mere faraa'iz meiN shaamil hota hai! is liye, shaayad yihi behtar hoga
k maiN is mazmoon ko do-teen aqsaat meiN likkhooN!
Thanks for the suggestion, Sir!
> > dar-eeN-asnaa, socha k aap ko (az-rah-e-tabarruk) aek Ghazal hi
> > sunaata chalooN --- albatta, kyaa karooN k ab yeh Ghazal bhi, sivaaye
> > matle aur maqte ke, aek "musalsal" si Ghazal ho kar reh gayee hai!
> > :-((
> >
>
> Ghazal behad haseen o dil-nishiin hai. is liye saheeh symbol yooN hona
> chaahiye - :-))
>
chaliye, agar aap kehte haiN to maiN :-(( ko :-)) se badal deta hooN
---
vaise, mera is alaamat se matlab yeh tha k, in theory, kisi bhi Ghazal
ka har she'r aek doosre se aazaad hu'aa karta hai aur kuchh
arbaab-e-suKhan yeh samjhne lage haiN k aisa hona laazimi hai ---
clearly, something I don't believe in!
is liye, jab meri koi Ghazal "musalsal Ghazal" ho jaane ki zid karti
hai to mujhe Dar lagne lagta hai k "haaye Raam, log kyaa kaheN ge"?
:-))
> >
> > 1. phir mujhe bazm meiN le aaye haiN, dekhe ko'ii
> > baat merii na sune ko'ii na samjhe ko'ii!
> >
> > 2. sub'h ho, shaam ho, do-paihr ho yaa neem-shabii!
> > ghar ka darvaaza khulaa rakkho k aaye koo'ii!!!
> >
>
> neem-shabii == twilight??
>
No, neem-shabii doesn't mean twilight; it means mid-night --- exactly
the opposite of "do-paihr"! twilight ko, hamaari bhaasha meiN,
"shafaq" kehte haiN! :-))
aur, haaN, jaate jaate lafz "shafaq" par apne marGhoob shaa'ir
janaab-e-Qais ka aek she'r hi sunte jaaiye; farmaate haiN k
ajab naheeN k shafaq kaa bhi "raNg uR jaaye"!
kaheeN jo dekh le jalvaa-numaa'iyaaN terii!
aap ne Ghaaliban yeh Ghazal naheeN sunii: kabhi mauq'a milaa to
sunaaooN ga. vaise, is Ghazal ka maqta to abhii sunaaye deta hooN ---
is umeed pe k aap ke zehn meiN is Ghazal ko sun_ne ka ishte'yaaq to
baRhe! :-))
arz hai k
zamaana bhool na paaye ga roz-e-maihshar tak
jabeen-e-Qais ke sijde, Khudaa'iyaaN terii!!!
> >
> > 3. be-yaqeenii se ko'i meraa sar-aa-paa dekhe!
> > ho ke hairaan mirii aaNkh meiN jhaaNke ko'ii!
> >
> > 4. meri nazroN se mire dil ka dhaRaknaa jaaNche!
> > apni nazroN se miri nabz TaTole ko'ii!!!!!!!
> >
> > 5. ban ke tasveer mire saamne kuchh yooN baiThe
> > mere ka'abe ko sanam-Khaana banaa de ko'ii!
> >
> > 6. ban ke mar_ham mire har zaKhm ko sehat baKhshe!
> > ban ke daaroo mira har dard sameTe ko'ii!!!
> >
>
> yahaaN tak aate aate to maiN bhi kuchh jhoomne lagaa!
> magar yahaaN "daaroo" ka matlab "davaa" hai, "sharaab" naheeN. am I
> right?
>
>
agar aap yahaaN tak aate aate jhoomne lage the to koi hairat ki baat
naheeN hai kyooN-k yeh baateN haiN hi jhoomne ki ---
vaise, "daaroo" se muraad yahaaN "davaa" hi hai, "sharaab" naheeN hai!
Sorry to disappoint you! LOL
> >
> > 7. raushanii ban ke mire dil ko munavvar kar de
> > ban ke Khush_boo mire anfaas meiN mehke ko'ii!
> >
> > 8. ban ke sho'la mire aihsaas ko be-daar kare!
> > ban ke naGhma mire afkaar meiN gooNje ko'ii!!!
> >
> > 9. aaNkh mooNdooN to mujhe dekh ke "kyaa kuchh" soche!
> > aaNkh kholooN to mujhe dekh ke jheNpe ko'ii!!!!!!!!
> >
>
> vaah!
> qavaafi alfaaz - "gooNje", "jheNpe", "mehke", "sameTe", vGh - ka bahut
> Khoobsoorat istema'l hua hai.
>
Thanks for the observation, Vasmi Saahib, --- albatta, agar aap zaraa
Ghaur se dekheN to bhalaa is Ghazal meiN Faarsi zabaan ke qaafiye
kahaaN samaayeN ge? maqaam-e-shukr hai k, is majboori ke baa-vujood,
qaafiye is Ghazal ke taNg naheeN haiN!
> >
> > aur ab maqta arz hai:
> >
> > 10. Qais shaa'ir hai, ko'i shaiKh-o-braahman to naheeN!
> > is ke ash'aar meiN "voh baat" na DhooNDhe ko'ii!!!
> >
>
> kyaa baat hai!
>
shukriya! vaise, yahaaN par aek tas_heeh laazim hai --- voh yeh k
mujhe "braahman" ki ba-jaaye "baraahman" likhna chaahiye tha varna UVR
Saahib samjheN ge k maiN yahaaN par "shuddh Hindi" ka "prayog" kar
rahaa hooN --- which, ba-Khudaa, is not the case! :-))
> Ghazal mubaarak ho.
>
Thanks again, R.K.
Vasmi Abidi
jab mujh par is 'jurm' ka ilzaam lag hi chuka hai - and I plead guilty
- to diivan.e.Ghalib se ek ma'qool she'r aur sunaa dooN.
> > > 2. sub'h ho, shaam ho, do-paihr ho yaa neem-shabii!
> > > ghar ka darvaaza khulaa rakkho k aaye koo'ii!!!
din-raat ghar ka darvaaza khulaa rakhne ka jo nateeja hoga ,us par arz
hai k:
"na luTta din ko, to kab raat ko yooN be-Khabar sotaa?
rahaa khaTka na chorii ka dua detaa hooN rahzan ko!"
> > >
> > > 10. Qais shaa'ir hai, ko'i shaiKh-o-braahman to naheeN!
> > > is ke ash'aar meiN "voh baat" na DhooNDhe ko'ii!!!
aap ka ye maqta paRh kar zehn meN ek Khayaal aaya, so arz hai:
"maiN bhi insaaN hooN, ko'i shaiKh-o-braahman to naheeN
intihaa'ii nahiiN karta hooN maiN insaanoN se"
"intihaa'ii" se maiN ne matlab nikaala hai "saKht bartaao" yaani
"harsh behavior", ya phir "extremism". durust hai?
niyaazmand,
Vasmi
Zoya
>
> maiN, aek lambe arse ke ba'ad, aap ki is bazm meiN haazir ho rahaa
> hooN. mera va'ada to yeh tha k maiN "ziNdagi aur maut" par aek
> mufassil she'ri mazmoon le kar aap ki Khidmat meiN haazir hooN ga ---
> magar kyaa karooN, voh mazmoon to (shaitaan ki aaNt ki tarah) baRhtaa
> hi jaa rahaa hai! jooN-hi giraft meiN aa paaya, maiN zaroor use aap ki
> Khidmat meiN pesh karooN ga!
RK Sahib,
huzuur, yeh bazm to ab bhii aap hii kii hai! The difference is that
now we have to compete with your precious little granddaughter for
your attention!! sach meiN, jab aap ChhuTii par chale jaate haiN to
yahaaN raunaq bahut kam ho jaatii hai.
aap mazmuun jaldii se pesh kar diijiiye, Vasmi Sahib ke saath saath
hameiN bhii iNtezaar hai.
>
> dar-eeN-asnaa, socha k aap ko (az-rah-e-tabarruk) aek Ghazal hi
> sunaata chalooN --- albatta, kyaa karooN k ab yeh Ghazal bhi, sivaaye
> matle aur maqte ke, aek "musalsal" si Ghazal ho kar reh gayee hai!
> :-((
>
> So what? Let's go ahead, read it, savour it and (hopefully) enjoy
> it!!!
I definitely savoured this one, some of the ashaar are absolutely
delicious!!!
>
> --------------
>
> matla arz hai k
>
> 1. phir mujhe bazm meiN le aaye haiN, dekhe ko'ii
> baat merii na sune ko'ii na samjhe ko'ii!
>
> 2. sub'h ho, shaam ho, do-paihr ho yaa neem-shabii!
> ghar ka darvaaza khulaa rakkho k aaye koo'ii!!!
piChhle dinoN kahiiN darwaazaa khulaa rakhne par ek ba.Daa pyaaraa
sher pa.Dhaa thaa, ab zehn meiN nahiiN aa rahaa, jaise hii yaad aayaa,
aap ko zuruur sunaauuNgii, it was different.
>
> 3. be-yaqeenii se ko'i meraa sar-aa-paa dekhe!
> ho ke hairaan mirii aaNkh meiN jhaaNke ko'ii!
>
> 4. meri nazroN se mire dil ka dhaRaknaa jaaNche!
> apni nazroN se miri nabz TaTole ko'ii!!!!!!!
>
> 5. ban ke tasveer mire saamne kuchh yooN baiThe
> mere ka'abe ko sanam-Khaana banaa de ko'ii!
>
> 6. ban ke mar_ham mire har zaKhm ko sehat baKhshe!
> ban ke daaroo mira har dard sameTe ko'ii!!!
You wish!
>
> 7. raushanii ban ke mire dil ko munavvar kar de
> ban ke Khush_boo mire anfaas meiN mehke ko'ii!
>
> 8. ban ke sho'la mire aihsaas ko be-daar kare!
> ban ke naGhma mire afkaar meiN gooNje ko'ii!!!
You are expecting 'one person' to do all that?! Get real RK Sahib!!
>
> 9. aaNkh mooNdooN to mujhe dekh ke "kyaa kuchh" soche!
> aaNkh kholooN to mujhe dekh ke jheNpe ko'ii!!!!!!!!
This one is my absolute favorite in the entire ghazal, perhaps because
I go for 'visual effects'?!
>
> aur ab maqta arz hai:
>
> 10. Qais shaa'ir hai, ko'i shaiKh-o-braahman to naheeN!
> is ke ash'aar meiN "voh baat" na DhooNDhe ko'ii!!!
is maqte ke jawaab meiN aap hii kaa likhaa huaa ek aur maqtaa pesh
karne kii ijaazat chaahtii huuN:
yeh Qais na gyaanii hai na dhyaanii hai phir bhii,
jo tuune samajh rakhaa hai vaisaa bhii nahiiN hai!
ab is_ke baad aur kyaa kahuuN?!
>
> --------------
>
> hasb-e-m'amool, aap sabhi dostoN ke ta'assuraat ka intezaar rahe ga!
>
> Khair-aNdesh, Raj Kumar
missed you,
________________Zoya
Raj Kumar
>
> > > >
> > > > 10. Qais shaa'ir hai, ko'i shaiKh-o-braahman to naheeN!
> > > > is ke ash'aar meiN "voh baat" na DhooNDhe ko'ii!!!
>
> aap ka ye maqta paRh kar zehn meN ek Khayaal aaya, so arz hai:
>
> "maiN bhi insaaN hooN, ko'i shaiKh-o-braahman to naheeN
> intihaa'ii nahiiN karta hooN maiN insaanoN se"
>
> "intihaa'ii" se maiN ne matlab nikaala hai "saKht bartaao" yaani
> "harsh behavior", ya phir "extremism". durust hai?
>
No, it is not!
You seem to have been guided by the fact that words such as bhalaa,
buraa, daanaa, aashnaa, etc. --- which are adjectives --- lead to
nouns such as bhalaa'ii, buraa'ii, daanaa'ii, aashnaa'ii, etc. In the
case under question, however, the word intehaa itself is a noun and
the derivative intehaa'ii is an adjective --- jaise, intehaa'ii
sharmiNdagi!
And that usage is not appropriate here!
So, I am afraid, you'll have to modify the second misra for sure. yooN
to aisa karne ke kayee imkaanaat haiN, albatta fil-haal yeh dekhiye:
maiN bhi insaaN hooN, ko'i shaiKh-o-baraahman to naheeN
"un sa bartaao" naheeN karta hooN insaanoN se!
I am sure that, with some reflection, you'll be able to come up with
something truly suitable here!
R.K.
Raj Kumar
>
> huzuur, yeh bazm to ab bhii aap hii kii hai! The difference is that
> now we have to compete with your precious little granddaughter for
> your attention!! sach meiN, jab aap ChhuTii par chale jaate haiN to
> yahaaN raunaq bahut kam ho jaatii hai.
>
> aap mazmuun jaldii se pesh kar diijiiye, Vasmi Sahib ke saath saath
> hameiN bhii iNtezaar hai.
>
Thanks for the compliment, Zoya ji, aur jahaaN tak us mazmoon ki baat
hai, us ki pehli qist to ab tak maNzar-e-aam par aa bhi chukii hai aur
Ghaaliban aap ne dekhii bhi hogi. ab agli qist aaj hi likhne ki
koshish karooN ga!
> >
> > dar-eeN-asnaa, socha k aap ko (az-rah-e-tabarruk) aek Ghazal hi
> > sunaata chalooN --- albatta, kyaa karooN k ab yeh Ghazal bhi, sivaaye
> > matle aur maqte ke, aek "musalsal" si Ghazal ho kar reh gayee hai!
> > :-((
> >
> > So what? Let's go ahead, read it, savour it and (hopefully) enjoy
> > it!!!
>
> I definitely savoured this one, some of the ashaar are absolutely
> delicious!!!
>
I am glad you savoured the Ghazal and, believe me, I very much enjoyed
the "dainty" observation you made on some of its ash'aar!
> >
> > --------------
> >
> > 2. sub'h ho, shaam ho, do-paihr ho yaa neem-shabii!
> > ghar ka darvaaza khulaa rakkho k aaye koo'ii!!!
>
> piChhle dinoN kahiiN darwaazaa khulaa rakhne par ek ba.Daa pyaaraa
> sher pa.Dhaa thaa, ab zehn meiN nahiiN aa rahaa, jaise hii yaad aayaa,
> aap ko zuruur sunaauuNgii, it was different.
>
Ghaaliban, voh she'r [jise yaad rakhne meiN aap ne kotaahii bartii hai
:-))] kuchh yooN hai:
is tavaqqo' pe k shaa'id ko'i mehmaan aaye
ghar ka darvaaza khulaa chhoR ke so jaataa hooN!
Right? yeh she'r maiN ne Sanaa Saahiba se sunaa tha aur (Ghaaliban)
Shehzaad Ahmad ka hai. agar aap ko asl shaa'ir ka naam yaad aa jaaye
to zaroor bataaiye ga!
> >
> > 3. be-yaqeenii se ko'i meraa sar-aa-paa dekhe!
> > ho ke hairaan mirii aaNkh meiN jhaaNke ko'ii!
> >
> > 4. meri nazroN se mire dil ka dhaRaknaa jaaNche!
> > apni nazroN se miri nabz TaTole ko'ii!!!!!!!
> >
> > 5. ban ke tasveer mire saamne kuchh yooN baiThe
> > mere ka'abe ko sanam-Khaana banaa de ko'ii!
> >
> > 6. ban ke mar_ham mire har zaKhm ko sehat baKhshe!
> > ban ke daaroo mira har dard sameTe ko'ii!!!
>
> You wish!
>
"wish" karne meiN kyaa buraa'ii hai, azeeza?
haaN, yeh alag baat hai k du'aayeN be-asar jaayeN aur tamannaayeN bar
na aayeN! :-((
ab isi baat par maiN aap ko aek be-had Khoob-soorat qit'a sunaata
hooN; suniye aur sar dhuniye --- bal-k, ho sake to, ise palle baaNdh
leejiye; ziNdagi ke kaRe safar meiN kaam aaye ga:
raNj aur Khushii dono haiN rafeeq-e-dereena
paas paas rehte haiN, saath saath chalte haiN
aarzoo'eN duniyaa meiN sab hi bar naheeN aateeN
kuchh chiraaGh bujhte haiN, kuchh chiraaGh jalte haiN!!!
> >
> > 7. raushanii ban ke mire dil ko munavvar kar de
> > ban ke Khush_boo mire anfaas meiN mehke ko'ii!
> >
> > 8. ban ke sho'la mire aihsaas ko be-daar kare!
> > ban ke naGhma mire afkaar meiN gooNje ko'ii!!!
>
> You are expecting 'one person' to do all that?! Get real, RK Sahib!!
I couldn't help laughing at your advisory call on me to "get real"!
fauran zehn meiN Khayaal aaya k perhaps I should say to you in return:
"YOU get real, Zoya beTa"! LOL
kehna ka matlab yeh k agar ham Dher saari ummeedoN ko aek hi shaKhs se
vaabasta kar baiThte haiN to bhalaa is meiN kaun si buraa'ii hai? log
bhagvaan se bhi to sau sau mannateN maante haiN!!!
ab aap kaheN gi k "RK Saahib, kahaaN sarv-shaktimaan bhagvaan aur
kahaaN aap ki adna si mehbooba"? Please mind your words ---
Khabar-daar jo hamaari mehbooba ko 'adna' kahaa!!! :-))
Zoya ji, maana k mehbooba ke dar se aashiq ki beshtar ummeedeN hasrat
ban kar hi lauTti haiN --- ain usi tarah jaise bhagvaan ke dvaare se
bhi to logoN ki beshtar du'aayeN be-asar lauTti haiN! bas farq hoga to
koi unnees-ikkees ka --- is se ziyaada naheeN!
>
> >
> > 9. aaNkh mooNdooN to mujhe dekh ke "kyaa kuchh" soche!
> > aaNkh kholooN to mujhe dekh ke jheNpe ko'ii!!!!!!!!
>
> This one is my absolute favorite in the entire ghazal, perhaps because
> I go for 'visual effects'?!
>
I agree. yeh she'r mujhe bhi be-had azeez hai aur vajah us ki
Ghaaliban vuhi hai jis ki jaanib aap ne ishaara kiyaa hai. mujhe is
Ghazal par kuchh ta'assuraat ba-raah-e-raast bhi mausool huye haiN. un
meiN, aek saahib ne isi she'r ko haasil-e-Ghazal qaraar diyaa hai!
> >
> > aur ab maqta arz hai:
> >
> > 10. Qais shaa'ir hai, ko'i shaiKh-o-braahman to naheeN!
> > is ke ash'aar meiN "voh baat" na DhooNDhe ko'ii!!!
>
> is maqte ke jawaab meiN aap hii kaa likhaa huaa ek aur maqtaa pesh
> karne kii ijaazat chaahtii huuN:
>
> yeh Qais na gyaanii hai na dhyaanii hai phir bhii,
> jo tuune samajh rakkhaa hai vaisaa bhii nahiiN hai!
>
> ab is_ke baad aur kyaa kahuuN?!
>
vaaqe'ii, "harf-e-aaKhir" ke ba'ad aur kyaa kahaa jaa sakta hai? LOL
vaise, is she'r ke pehle misre ka aaKhiri TukRaa tha --- "pe phir
bhi". is TukRe par, janaab-e-Irfan ne uNgalii dharii thi aur
janaab-e-UVR ne ise sudhaarne ke liye kuchh sujhaao diye the. maiN ne,
in hazraat ki aaraa se faa'ida uThaate huye aur apni us Ghazal ki
tashkeel ko madd-e-nazar rakhte huye, is misre ko yooN badal diyaa
tha:
yeh Qais na momin hai na zaahid hai, magar dekh!
Thanks for quoting me on me --- :-)) --- but I thought that, as far as
this she'r is concerned, I should set the record straight.
>
> missed you,
>
Get real, Zoya, --- what lady, in her right mind, would miss a lad
like me?
LOL, bal-k ROTFL
R.K.
Yashowanto N. Ghosh
itnee achchhee Ghazal sunaane kaa bahut bahut shukriyaa!
har ek she'r bahut achchhaa hai, Khaas taur par yeh---
rajkum...@hotmail.com (Raj Kumar) wrote in message news:<c10928a.03022...@posting.google.com>...
> yaaraan-e-mehfil:
>
> maiN, aek lambe arse ke ba'ad, aap ki is bazm meiN haazir ho rahaa
> hooN. mera va'ada to yeh tha k maiN "ziNdagi aur maut" par aek
> mufassil she'ri mazmoon le kar aap ki Khidmat meiN haazir hooN ga ---
> magar kyaa karooN, voh mazmoon to (shaitaan ki aaNt ki tarah) baRhtaa
> hi jaa rahaa hai! jooN-hi giraft meiN aa paaya, maiN zaroor use aap ki
> Khidmat meiN pesh karooN ga!
>
> dar-eeN-asnaa, socha k aap ko (az-rah-e-tabarruk) aek Ghazal hi
> sunaata chalooN --- albatta, kyaa karooN k ab yeh Ghazal bhi, sivaaye
> matle aur maqte ke, aek "musalsal" si Ghazal ho kar reh gayee hai!
> :-((
>
> So what? Let's go ahead, read it, savour it and (hopefully) enjoy
> it!!!
>
> --------------
>
> matla arz hai k
>
> 1. phir mujhe bazm meiN le aaye haiN, dekhe ko'ii
> baat merii na sune ko'ii na samjhe ko'ii!
vaah!
>
> 2. sub'h ho, shaam ho, do-paihr ho yaa neem-shabii!
> ghar ka darvaaza khulaa rakkho k aaye koo'ii!!!
>
> 3. be-yaqeenii se ko'i meraa sar-aa-paa dekhe!
> ho ke hairaan mirii aaNkh meiN jhaaNke ko'ii!
>
> 4. meri nazroN se mire dil ka dhaRaknaa jaaNche!
> apni nazroN se miri nabz TaTole ko'ii!!!!!!!
bahut Khoob!
>
> 5. ban ke tasveer mire saamne kuchh yooN baiThe
> mere ka'abe ko sanam-Khaana banaa de ko'ii!
Wow!---#4, 5 mujhe sab se ziyaadah achchhe lage.
>
> 6. ban ke mar_ham mire har zaKhm ko sehat baKhshe!
> ban ke daaroo mira har dard sameTe ko'ii!!!
>
> 7. raushanii ban ke mire dil ko munavvar kar de
> ban ke Khush_boo mire anfaas meiN mehke ko'ii!
>
> 8. ban ke sho'la mire aihsaas ko be-daar kare!
> ban ke naGhma mire afkaar meiN gooNje ko'ii!!!
>
> 9. aaNkh mooNdooN to mujhe dekh ke "kyaa kuchh" soche!
> aaNkh kholooN to mujhe dekh ke jheNpe ko'ii!!!!!!!!
>
> aur ab maqta arz hai:
>
> 10. Qais shaa'ir hai, ko'i shaiKh-o-braahman to naheeN!
> is ke ash'aar meiN "voh baat" na DhooNDhe ko'ii!!!
>
maqta' bahut, bahut achchhaa hai!
bahut Khoobsoorat Ghazal hai---ise sunaane kaa ek baar
phir shukryaa! With best regards, aap kee aglee Ghazal
kaa muntazir,
Jasho.