60 Minutes

[NYWahoo]

Did anybody happen to watch the last segment of 60 Minutes last night? It was
about finding the latest/best medical treatment when your medical condition is
critical--it did not involve infertility at all. However, the main speaker in
the segment is the founder and co-owner of this business which is a physican
locating service, and he said something so profound and moving at the
conclusion of the segment that I thought it was worth passing on, in case you
missed it. It really gave me pause--and it applies to infertility as well as
any other sadness or hole in your life.

This fellow had suffered with an aggressive brain tumor (originally deemed
inoperable and terminal) for over 11 years. Against all odds, he had survived
and thrived during this period, because he pursued aggressive therapy and
maintained a positive outlook. Most recently, he learned the tumor had begun
to grow again. When asked if he ever questioned, "why me?" this man replied
(more artfully than I am reporting here) that he had experienced many joys and
wonderful times in his life. He was blessed with a wonderful, loving partner,
a thriving business, a close family, cherished memories, and other joys. He
said, if I didn't question the fairness when I received all the benefits of
his life, then why should I claim it was unfair when dealt this blow. In other
words, in the scheme of things, if you aren't going to refuse the blessings,
then you can't complain about the sorrows.

I know how hard it is to focus on what we have, rather than what is missing.
But truly, if we can somehow remember that fairness is an illusion, and that
usually the wonderful things in our lives outnumber the sad things, maybe we
can take solace in appreciating all the good things we have...like our parents,
DHs, homes, jobs, friends, siblings, religion, pets, etc. All the things we
take for granted as our entitlements.

I hope someone else saw this segment and was as moved as his response as I was.
I know it made me stop and think about my situation, and gave me some much,
much needed perspective.

Best wishes to all!

Karen

[Alison Jones]

You are absolutely right, and it is good to be reminded of that. Another
person who touched me was Christopher Reeve after his accident in which he
was paralyzed. When interviewed (shortly after the accident), he said,
"Life is like a game of cards - we're all dealt different hands. What
matters most is how you play the hand you're dealt". Very inspiring!!
Especially from a man who will probably never walk again.

[Sam421]

I saw the same segment and DH and I discussed even through all of this, we have
many things to be thankful for in our lives. When I'm really down about the
whole infertility thing, DH always reminds me that he didn't marry me to have
kids, (although it would add even more), he married me to spend the rest of his
life with someone he loves. It always makes me misty when he says this, but
then again what doesn't make me cry:-)

Pam

[DiFields]

Karen,

I'm not only moved by what that man said on 60 minutes, I'm also very moved
that you were thoughtful enough to share it with all of us.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart,

Di Fields and Atticus (the black lab from heaven)

[Cleblanc01]

Oh, I couldn't agree with this message more! Focusing on the tremendous GOOD
luck that I've had is what's gotten me through this (most difficult) holiday
season. If you'd like some more very articulate and moving examples of living
through difficult times without succombing to self-pity and becoming
emotionally paralyzed, check out a book called "Kitchen Table Wisdom," written
by a very wise doctor (Rachel Naomi Remen) who focuses on counseling cancer
patients. Or "Man's Search for Meaning" by Viktor Frankl, an absolutely
extraordinary book about an even more extraordinary man who managed to survive
life in a concentration camp by finding a sense of meaning and even beauty to
his life while imprisoned---I find this to be headdy stuff that puts things in
perspective for me a bit.

---Catherine

[Laura]

Hi Alyson this is Laura. I am very intrested in hearing how your
progress is going, but I am having a problem sending you e-mail have you
changed your address. Please respond with your progression. I am very
anxious to know. I go back to the RE on the 12th of this month. Did
your doctor do any liver testing before he started you?
Hope to hear from you soon.

[deb]

My DH and I watched this segment on 60 Minutes, too. When that man
said that he had never asked "why me?" when all those blessings came
to him, my DH and I just sat there, stunned, and I knew that he was
thinking the same thing I was--about our own situation and about how
often we had talked about how unfair it was. Finally, my DH said,
"that was a really profound thing that guy just said." And I just
nodded, bc I was pretty choked up.
Thanks for reminding me of that moment, Karen.
deb