Rich Little Sent to Iraq to Entertain Insurgents
Bruce Olin
Pentagon Hopes to Confuse the Enemy
Andy Borowitz
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/18276517/site/newsweek/
April 23, 2007 - As part of a bold new strategy to confuse the enemy, the
Pentagon announced today that it was sending comedian/impressionist Rich
Little to Iraq to entertain the insurgents.
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While the U.S. has sent many comedians to Iraq to entertain the troops since
the conflict began four years ago, Mr. Little's mission marks the first time
that the Pentagon has targeted the insurgents with comedy.
But after seeing Mr. Little perform at the White House Correspondents'
Dinner Saturday night in Washington, the Pentagon decided that Mr. Little
was just the man for the job, and "Operation Little Entertainment" was born.
Said one Pentagon planner, "If Rich Little can quiet down Iraq the way he
silenced that room Saturday night, we'll consider this mission a big
success."
En route to his first show in Baghdad, Mr. Little was bullish about his
mission, polishing his impressions of such dead presidents as Ronald Reagan
and Richard Nixon.
"I'm going to do Nixon, but instead of having him say, 'I'm not a crook,' he'll
say 'I'm not a Kurd,'" Mr. Little chuckled.
After his first performance for the insurgents, whom Mr. Little treated to
his spot-on impressions of long-deceased actors like Tyrone Power and Alan
Ladd, the new strategy seemed to be paying dividends, with many insurgents
on the brink of giving up.
"I have had enough," pleaded insurgent Hassan El-Medfaii, who attended Mr.
Little's show. "Please make the bombing stop."
Elsewhere, in yet another display of prowess with the ladies, Angelina Jolie
today left Brad Pitt for World Bank President Paul Wolfowitz.
--
"The first casualty of war is not truth, but perspective.
Once that's gone, truth, like compassion, reason,
and all the other virtues, wanders around like a wounded orphan."
Ente Grillenhaft