Art
Keith E. Sullivan
MODEL
The artist tried to concentrated on his work, but the attraction he felt
for his model finally became irresistible. He threw down his palette,
took her in his arms and kissed her.
She pushed him away. "Maybe your other models let you kiss them," she
said.
"I've never tried to kiss a model before," he swore.
"Really?" she said, softening, "How many models have there been?"
"Four," he replied, "A jug, two apples, and a vase."
Blind Bard's Daily Chuckle
<http:\\pixelwarehouse.com\blindbard\addme.htm>
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THE SURREALIST
It is a little known fact that a pharmacist was responsible for saving
the career of that creator of really weird, Surrealist paintings,
Salvador Dali. It seems that the artist accidentally poured boiling
water on his drawing hand and immediately sought help at the local
pharmacy. "What is the name of that medicinal plant that is good to
treat burns?" Our hero replied, ... "Aloe, Dali."
What did Stan Laurel say when his partner told him this joke? "That's
... a load, Ollie!"
Stan Kegel <ke...@fea.net>
Poste...@mail.otherwhen.com
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SEEN IN A PUBLIC WASHROOM
This graffiti has been funded by the National Endowment for the Arts.
JHines7734 <jhine...@aol.com> [alt.humor]
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AMERICAN MILLIONAIRE ART COLLECTOR
As you all know, American millionaires have a tendency to become avid
collectors, often of the strangest things. This was certainly true of
one particular millionaire whom I shall call John.
John collected impressionist paintings, but not the ones you might
think. He specialized in Eastern Bloc artists, being especially fond of
those from Czechoslovakia. Over the years, he accumulated hundreds of
such paintings. Individually they weren't that valuable, but as a
collection they were of considerable interest to art historians.
Realizing this, he many years ago altered his will so that all of his
collection was to be presented to the museum in the town where he had
grown up. Also included was a quite handsome sum to cover security and
display costs.
Time passed, as it always does, and last year, John died peacefully in
his sleep. What John hadn't foreseen was the breakup of the Soviet
Union, and the opening up of the former communist countries to Western
eyes. The value of John's collection had shot through the roof, in
comparison with what he had considered its monetary value, and his
surviving relatives began to cast envious eyes on the artwork.
The situation was made considerably worse when, during cataloguing, it
was discovered that the collection included a long lost work by a famous
French impressionist, with a value commensurate with its creators fame.
All the relatives screamed loudly, and demanded that the will be
contested in court. Some of them wanted all the paintings for
themselves, but most were willing to allow the museum to have all except
the French example and maybe even that one, as long as the museum was
willing to pay a "reasonable price" for them.
As with all such cases, the more money involved, the faster the case is
heard, and the longer it takes to hear it. Thus, it was only last week
that the judge handed down his decision.
He found that the provision in the will was clearly stated, and
perfectly reasonable. He therefor awarded the paintings to the museum,
doing so in the clearest terms he could find. Indeed, his summation is
a masterpiece of clarity.
"From the terms of this will it is plain to see....
...You get your Monet for nothing, and your Czech's for free."
Dandalion <dand...@worldnet.att.net> [alt.humor]
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