Loans

[Keith E. Sullivan]

Whenever you apply for a loan, have you noticed that you must first
prove that you don't need it in order to get it?

SMALL DOWN PAYMENT

Salesman: "You make a small down payment and then you don't make any
payments for six months."

Customer: "Who told you about us?"

Ron Dentinger
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
GETTING A LOAN IN NEW YORK

Before going to Europe on business, a man drove his Rolls-Royce to a
downtown NY City bank and went in to ask for an immediate loan of
$5,000. The loan officer, taken aback, requested collateral. "Well,
then, here are the keys to my Rolls-Royce," the man said. The loan
officer promptly had the car driven into the bank's underground parking
for safe keeping, and gave him $5,000.

Two weeks later, the man walked through the bank's doors, and asked to
settle up his loan and get his car back. "That will be $5,000 in
principal, and $15.40 in interest," the loan officer said.

The man wrote out a check and started to walk away.

"Wait sir," the loan officer said, "while you were gone, I found out you
are a millionaire. Why in the world would you need to borrow $5,000?"

The man smiled. "Where else could I park my Rolls-Royce in Manhattan
for two weeks and pay only $15.40?"

David A. Rinke II <drin...@erie.net>
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
GARMENT INDUSTRY

Two garment-center manufacturers, Carter and Lusk, were on the verge of
bankruptcy. All that could save them and their lives was a loan from
the bank. They filled out the proper papers, which were forwarded to
the main office. Their loan officer said, "This looks pretty good. If
you don't hear from me by the end of the week, it means you're in."

Carter and Lusk didn't sleep a wink for the next few days. They had no
appetites and spend their time chain-smoking and praying. The last day
came. As the hours ticked by, the loan seemed to look good. With one
hour left, the minutes went by as if they were glued to the clock.
Exactly at one minute to the hour of closing at the bank, a knock on the
door startled the men. Each was afraid to go to the door. Finally,
Lusk walked toward the door. Each step was like the last step of the
last mile. Opening the door, he saw a messenger with a wire. Tears
filled Lusk's eyes. His hands shook as he opened the telegram. Then a
huge smile broke out on his face and he yelled to Carter, "Good news.
Your brother died!"

Nancy Carson <JMF...@prodigy.com>
--
Keith E. Sullivan <KSul...@worldnet.att.net>
Owner of Keith's Mostly Clean Humor & Weird List
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Lyin' ain't harder than tellin' the truth,
And truth is the perfect disguise. --Kris Kristofferson