guilt trip
KIMEVANS
to the inflatable pupil when he took him into his inflatable office for a
lecture??
A: John,your behahiour today has been totally disappointing!!! By bringing
that thumbtack into this school you have let not only your friends and
classmates down but you have let the whole SCHOOL down.!!! But most
importantly, what you are going to have to live with is the fact that, this
time, you have even let YOURSELF down!!!!!
dustbird
"KIMEVANS" <kime...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
news:RUJub.17679$aT....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
Clearly, John lacked a sense of self-worth, or he wouldn't have engaged
in this kind of self-deflating behavior. The counsellor should have tried to
pump him up.
Buffalo Chilkat
But I thought to air is human. Now I'm confused.
Michael Balarama
"dustbird" <dust...@cross.wind> wrote in message
news:bpfv7k$d...@library2.airnews.net...
I agree ...If he was in California Arnold would have tried to Pump him up
but with tact.
>
Kathy
"Buffalo Chilkat" <mam...@watering.hole> wrote in message
news:r15nrvg59fq9a3b6t...@4ax.com...
Face it, he's a pinhead.
Buffalo Chilkat
Ouch, that sounds very pinfill!
fre...@webtv.net
> wrote in message news:<r15nrvg59fq9a3b6t...@4ax.com>...
> KIMEVANS wrote:
>
> >lecture??
> >
> >
>
To air IS human, but considered tacky in society. **p.s.i. inflated
that sentence, can you smell ?
Len S.
"Buffalo Chilkat" <mam...@watering.hole> wrote in message
news:r15nrvg59fq9a3b6t...@4ax.com...
The little prick learns a lesson.
Tim Bruening
KIMEVANS wrote:
What a pointed rebuke!
How will his Pop react?
Tim Bruening
KIMEVANS wrote:
Spoken with pin point accuracy.
Tim Bruening
dustbird wrote:
Will his sentence be inflated by the 3 Strikes law?
Tim Bruening
Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
"John, you are under arrest for poking an underage girl who was not of your
race".
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Wed, 19 Nov 2003 16:05:19 GMT, Buffalo Chilkat
> <mam...@watering.hole> found these unused words floating about:
> Rules that can't be bent are dirigible kind.
Dirigible: Inflated male cow.
Tim Bruening
Michael Balarama wrote:
Or groped him?
Tim Bruening
"fredm...@the.PC" wrote:
ESPers?
Tim Bruening
Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
"John, you are under arrest for poking an underage girl who was not of
your
race".
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Wed, 19 Nov 2003 16:05:19 GMT, Buffalo Chilkat
> <mam...@watering.hole> found these unused words floating about:
>
Tim Bruening
Michael Balarama wrote:
Or groped him?
Tim Bruening
Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
"John, you are under arrest for poking an underage girl who was not of
your
race".
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Wed, 19 Nov 2003 16:05:19 GMT, Buffalo Chilkat
> <mam...@watering.hole> found these unused words floating about:
>
Tim Bruening
"Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" wrote:
> "Douglas D. Anderson" <d...@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
> news:<%4ASb.2655$n62....@twister.nyroc.rr.com> the following:
> >"Kshatriya" <kshatriy...@yahoo.com> wrote
> >> The Internet SUCKS . This newsgroup is proof of that.
>
> About 80 proof, I'd say.
>
> >> There is one solution to this problem - forcible sterilization of all
> >> white people.
>
> If that includes those neighbor's kids with the 300 db woofers in their
> car, I'm all for it.
Why not just require everything to use a contraceptive implant unless
they
have a license to have kids?
nemo
Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:412D461F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
>
> > KIMEVANS wrote:
> >
> > >Q: What did the inflatable school counsellor at Inflatable High School
say
> > >to the inflatable pupil when he took him into his inflatable office for
a
> > >lecture??
> > >
> > >A: John,your behahiour today has been totally disappointing!!! By
bringing
> > >that thumbtack into this school you have let not only your friends and
> > >classmates down but you have let the whole SCHOOL down.!!! But most
> > >importantly, what you are going to have to live with is the fact that,
this
> > >time, you have even let YOURSELF down!!!!!
> > >
> >
> > But I thought to air is human. Now I'm confused.
>
use them for firewood!
nemo
Blimple: Spot you get from travelling on a Zittpelin!
nemo
License: Knowing when not to tell the truth.
Tim Bruening
Michael Balarama wrote:
Or groped him?
nemo
(comma) Arnold would have tried to Pump him up (comma or ligature) but with
tact.
>
> Or groped him?
He'd have done it so hard, he'd have left a friction burn that would have
given the game away: Arse teller blister, baby!
Tim Bruening
Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
"John, you are under arrest for poking an underage girl who was not of
your
race".
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Wed, 19 Nov 2003 16:05:19 GMT, Buffalo Chilkat
> <mam...@watering.hole> found these unused words floating about:
>
nemo
It don't mean inflated. It means capable of being steered or directed. So
even your car is dirigible - unless the steering gear gets stuck, but that
can be a matter of a pinion.
nemo
[{(The dot goes inside the quotes BTW)}]
Parentheses: Treates advancing new points of view resulting from research,
upon raising a family.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
But I've only seen that term applied to lighter than air vehicles.
Tim Bruening
nemo
Reservoirs on an airship for a thin coagulable fluid containing white blood
cells and chyle: Blimp Nodes.
(I'm on form 2nite, I tell yer!)
Blimpfoamer: Fire extinguishing system for same.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
But I've only seen that term applied to lighter than air vehicles.
nemo
. . . or gearboxes.
Some daft scientist during WW2 insisted that reconnaissance photos of V2s on
transporters were barrage balloons.
Duncan Doughnut, sorry, Duncan Sandys pointed out to him that they were on
huge, heavy transporters and asked did he think they were they heavier than
air balloons? :o) One of the lighter moments in the film 'Operation Cross
Beau' - where George Peppard his performance with instances of over-serious
expressions and bad acting!
http://www.aemann.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/aircraft/hyper/sandys.html
The other lighter moments were when various character decided that they
wanted a cigarette.
Tim Bruening
Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> KIMEVANS wrote:
>
> >Q: What did the inflatable school counsellor at Inflatable High School say
> >to the inflatable pupil when he took him into his inflatable office for a
> >lecture??
> >
> >A: John,your behahiour today has been totally disappointing!!! By bringing
> >that thumbtack into this school you have let not only your friends and
> >classmates down but you have let the whole SCHOOL down.!!! But most
> >importantly, what you are going to have to live with is the fact that, this
> >time, you have even let YOURSELF down!!!!!
> >
>
> But I thought to air is human. Now I'm confused.
"John, you are under arrest for poking an underage girl who was not of
your race".
Tim Bruening
"J. A. Mc." wrote:
> On Wed, 19 Nov 2003 16:05:19 GMT, Buffalo Chilkat
> <mam...@watering.hole> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >KIMEVANS wrote:
> >
> >>Q: What did the inflatable school counsellor at Inflatable High School say
> >>to the inflatable pupil when he took him into his inflatable office for a
> >>lecture??
> >>
> >>A: John,your behahiour today has been totally disappointing!!! By bringing
> >>that thumbtack into this school you have let not only your friends and
> >>classmates down but you have let the whole SCHOOL down.!!! But most
> >>importantly, what you are going to have to live with is the fact that, this
> >>time, you have even let YOURSELF down!!!!!
> >>
> >
> >But I thought to air is human. Now I'm confused.
>
Tim Bruening
Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> KIMEVANS wrote:
>
> >Q: What did the inflatable school counsellor at Inflatable High School say
> >to the inflatable pupil when he took him into his inflatable office for a
> >lecture??
> >
> >A: John,your behahiour today has been totally disappointing!!! By bringing
> >that thumbtack into this school you have let not only your friends and
> >classmates down but you have let the whole SCHOOL down.!!! But most
> >importantly, what you are going to have to live with is the fact that, this
> >time, you have even let YOURSELF down!!!!!
> >
>
> But I thought to air is human. Now I'm confused.
Confuse: Against detonating bombs.
Tim Bruening
KIMEVANS wrote:
> Q: What did the inflatable school counsellor at Inflatable High School say
> to the inflatable pupil when he took him into his inflatable office for a
> lecture??
>
> A: John,your behahiour today has been totally disappointing!!! By bringing
> that thumbtack into this school you have let not only your friends and
> classmates down but you have let the whole SCHOOL down.!!! But most
> importantly, what you are going to have to live with is the fact that, this
> time, you have even let YOURSELF down!!!!!
John was quite tack-less!
Tim Bruening
KIMEVANS wrote:
The school's reputation has been pun-ctured.
Tim Bruening
KIMEVANS wrote:
Wait until John pokes his first girl!
nemo
Inflatable: Feeding a male bovine half a ton of baked beans after sewing its
arse shut! - probably leading to explodable - or if not, the need to call
out the Army to deal with an unexploded bumb!
nemo
That sentence goes from present to past tense. He *is* under arrest but the
girl *was* not of his race. Wronnnnnnge!
If I set that to music, became a Hymalayan mountain guide and performed it
on top of Everest, it'd be a Sherpa Tense Sing!
nemo
Trembler: Nervous fuse.
nemo
Chair-nail Knowledge that made him feel so brad!!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
nemo
Kick hil up the race-hole!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening
"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42EF0A9E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
Kick hil up the race-hole!
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:422420DC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Computerize: Levitating computer.
> >
> > Computerize: Computer vision.
> >
> > Supercomputer: Computer on Krypton.
>
> Or a PC that runs a numerically-controlled kitchen producing various
kinds
> of stew and broth.
>
> Consumé: Soup for people with Tuberculosis.
>
> Ratatouille: A stew made from a pair of large rodents.
>
> Ratatatatatatatatatouille: The same stew, when served to
machine-gunners.
Alien Plot: Where ET grows his garden.
Tim Bruening
Domestos: A household cleaner thrown out of the house for lying down on
the job.
Dettol: The fee you had to pay to drive away from the Supermarket with a
bottle of disinfectant.
Xenophobia: Fear of Xena Warrior Princess.
Comply: Wooden computers.
Compact: Small computers.
Compact: A computer treaty.
Tim Bruening
Alan <bogf...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:<cf5qc0tea15ie1ref...@4ax.com>...
> On Sun, 13 Jun 2004 12:46:23 GMT, mael...@eunet.at (Elisabeth Müller)
> wrote:
>
> >Don't look in my direction.
>
> Will you turn me into a pillar of salt?
No, into a pillar of parmesan cheese.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41B4C43F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote:
> >
> > > On Sat, 06 Dec 2003 08:11:12 -0800
> > > J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > > On 6 Dec 2003 13:24:49 GMT, Hauke Reddmann <fc3...@uni-hamburg.de>
> > > > found these unused words floating about:
> > > >
> > > > >To be frankly, I only believe in computers.
> > > > >I'm a press-byte-rian.
> > > >
> > > > I only use multi-level sculpted keyboards ...
> > > > I'm a press by tier'ian.
> > > >
> > > I believe mu computer should remain active all the time. I'm
> > > anti-Bootist.
> >
> > Presbyterian: Worshipper of newspapers.
>
> Presbitaryan: A Caucasian person of Nordic descent who Dubbaya the Shrub has
> sunk his teeth into.
Neither vagina Nordic.
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
> nemo wrote:
>
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:41822A18...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Baker: Pastry dog.
> > >
> > > Gawker: Tourist dog.
> > >
> > > Kayacker: Dog with oars.
> > >
> > > Knocker: A door to door salesdog.
> > >
> > > Panicker: Frightened dog.
> > >
> > > Picnicker: Dog out for fun in the sun.
> >
> > . . . or someone who steals ladies' nether underwear.
> > >
> > > Picker: Dog harvesting crops.
> > >
> > > Staker: Barky the Dog Vampire Slayer.
> > >
> > > Stalker: A procrastinating dog.
> > >
> > > Starker: Famous dog actor.
> > >
> > > Stoker: Dog tending a fire.
> > >
> > > Streaker: Nude dog.
> > >
> > > Striker: Dog on a union picket line.
> >
> > Blackleg: Strikebreaker at a pitch refinery who nearly fell in.
> > >
> > > Striker: Dog pitching ace.
> > >
> > > Sucker: Dog lollipop.
> >
> > Cock Sucker: Chicken lollipop.
>
> Acidness: Stoned lake monster in Scottland.
Badness: Naughty Scottish monster.
Coldness: Scottish monster with frostbite.
Tim Bruening
Opal: Friend of the letter O.
Oxide: Skin of a draft animal.
Ozone: Donut region.
Parlance: Knight weapon playing golf.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4039B5AF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Holo: A popular prostitute position.:)
> >
> > Hologram: A picture of same.
> >
> > Hologram: Message from a low prostitute.
> >
> > Hologram: Lighter than a Holopound.
>
> Holocopter: Rotary-wing aircraft with no-one inside.
>
> Holon a minute! There's no need to gush, Dan!!
Boinking: King of sex.
Conking: King of falling asleep.
No Bell Prize: Awarded to a school whose bell didn't ring.
Tim Bruening
The unknowable wrote:
> "Kathy" <tnkt...@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
> news:6fd%b.90$n37....@read2.cgocable.net...
> >
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:403C55F5...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Don't cry, Sis!
> >
> > Don't diss Astor!
> >
> Bud why did he pee at Zola?
Don't step on Mitosis!
Tim Bruening
"Greg Evans" <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote in message
news:<2kl0cmF...@uni-berlin.de>...
> Mos wrote:
>
> >> Mea culpa.
> >
> > You're a couple of what ?
>
> Cards short of a full deck.
Carding: Musical auto.
Decking: 10 kings.
Forking: 4 kings.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41265902...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > KIMEVANS <kime...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
> > > news:WWvjc.782$TT....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> > > > demanded: the man dinged once too often
> > > >
> > > Demanded: Demised satanic helper.
> >
> > Remanded: Man dies again.
>
> Remanded in Custody: Man dies by falling into flavoured cornflour or
eggs
> and milk again.
Custody: Swearing amphibian.
Custody: Swearing demon frog.
Tim Bruening
Supercomputer: Computer on Krypton.
VD: Vampire demon.
Webber: Cold Internet basketball player.
Webster: Spinning Internet.
Incinerate: Price of cremation.
Tim Bruening
Emu: Sound of an Internet Cow.
Emu: Internet subatomic particle.
Ebay: Where computers swim.
Icing: Downloaded Internet songs.
Jading: A flying blue bell.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40A88825...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Robin May wrote:
> >
> > > "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote the following in:
> > > news:10a1qgu...@corp.supernews.com
> > >
> > > > Robin May wrote:
> > > >> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote the following in:
> > > >> news:409B5F0E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us
> > > >>
> > > >>> Who do you believe is the greatest man ever?
> > > >>
> > > >> Robin May.
> > > >
> > > > May what?
> > >
> > > Visciously beat you up at any time.
> >
> > LOL!
> >
> Lolipop: Funny very small online explosion.
Lolipop: Candy dad.
Tim Bruening
Commit: Computer glove.
Committee: Computer meeting.
Coming: Computer Chinese vase.
Communist: Red computer.
Comsat: Computer in a chair.
Comsat: Computer on the 7th day of the week.
Tim Bruening
Jubilant: Ant jumping up and down for joy.
Pants: Ants with good jeans.
Rant: Ant that talks on and on.
Tim Bruening
Lucent: Plastic penny.
Lucent: Penny toilet.
Sent: A mailed or Fed Exed penny.
Sentient: Smart penny.
Sentiment: Feeling penny.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4219969F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote:
> >
> > > On 27 Dec 2003 20:21:41 GMT
> > > johnnai...@aol.com (Johnnaishwerner) wrote:
> > >
> > > > "It's twenty below," said Tom coldly.
> > > > "I've had too much Burgandy," Tom whined.
> > >
> > > "Watch out for that puddle," Tom slipped in.
> >
> > "Where are those Iraqi WMDs!!!????" Tom exploded.
> >
>
> "Down a very deep shaft," Fred deter-mined.
If they explode, they will under-mine everything!
Tim Bruening
Pierre Abbat wrote:
> Michael Balarama wrote:
>
> > Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine
> > husband called home to tell me he would be late - again. He
> > went on to say that dirty magazines had been discovered in
> > the platoon's quarters and they had to discipline the whole
> > squad. I launched into a tirade, arguing that many men had
> > pictures hanging in their quarters at our previous post, so
> > his new platoon should not be penalized for something trivial.
> >
> > My husband calmly listened to my gripes and then explained,
> > "Honey, dirty magazines: the clips from their rifles had not
> > been cleaned."
>
> Well, they'd better Hoppe to it!
How harey!
> Sometimes I rifle through the magazines at the library.
Tim Bruening
Marmoset wrote:
Hear about the poor Chemestry class?
They did as best as they could
Did they have a gas?
Beaker: Bird dog.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> Milton J. Smuthworthy, I <tonworth...@SexMagnet.com> wrote in message
> news:41d0cea9$0$60595$45be...@newscene.com...
> >
> > Then "nemo" says:
> > >Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > >news:41CF9F4F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >>
> > >> You are an ant and someone threw corn at you?
> > >
> > >So many formacidę painfully bit him that he was antagonised!
> >
> > Oh, they weren't impressive atol, coming from the lesser ant
> > hillies.
>
> Atoll - noun: An island consisting of a circular coral reef surrounding a
> lagoon - not a flippin hillock!
>
> Another school termite improve your vocabulary.
Hillock: Needed to keep the hill from being stolen.
Tim Bruening
"Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote
> >
> > Michael Balarama wrote:
> >
> > > "Right now President Bush is in Europe, he's in Germany,
> > > and he stopped in Frankfurt and he got off the plane and
> > > he electrified the crowd with 'Ich Bin ein frankfurter.'"
> >
> > At least he was frank!
> >
> The President mustard the troops but they couldn't ketchup.
What turkeys!
Tim Bruening
Tim Bruening wrote:
> nemo wrote:
>
> > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:4271C4D6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > Aiming: Chinese vase #1.
> > >
> > > Beaming: Chinese vase #2. Contains buzzing insects.
> > >
> > > Beating, Beeping: Bells #2: Contains buzzing insects.
> > >
> > > C-Ming: A vase that seems to have lots of salt water.
> > >
> > > C-ding: Bell that sows seeds in the sea.
> >
> > Seammonster: Huge overlocking machine!
>
> CD: Oceanic demon.
CV: Oceanic vampire.
Tim Bruening
nemo wrote:
> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4279CA74...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > "Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
> >
> > > "Robert Morpheal" <morp...@sympatico.ca> wrote
> > > > Greg Evans wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > Why? She was just gonna bring you your food, is all....
> > > >
> > > > My food taster didn't approve of that dish. So she's gone.
> > > >
> > > Well there's your problem- if she'd eaten the food instead of the dish
> > >
> > > she might still be alive.
> >
> > Did she eat a radish or a kaddish or a brandish or a kurdish or a
> > swedish?
> >
> Were the dishes of knishes delicious?
D. Licious: A demon you can eat!
Tim Bruening
Checker: Dog who plays board games.
Checker: Dog from the Czech Republic.
Checking: A very successful banker.
Checking: King of the Czech Republic.
Tim Bruening
Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> On Tue, 27 Jan 2004 21:36:54 -0500, "Nellie Rumery"
> <slr...@adelphia.net> wrote:
>
> >> >>> No I prefer my men to ball my three to four times not bash.
> >> >>
> >> >>Is this in Norwegian, or what?
> >> >
> >> >You'd probably have understood Norwegian.
> >>
> >> I think we of rec.humor and atj should have an joint annual "Post Like
> >> Nellie Rumery Day." <g>
> >>
> >
> > Are you wanting to man bash also Larry that is ok i need no help.
> > Thanks for the offer.
>
> So we're already starting?
Starting: Musical sun.
Starting: Musical famous actor.
Starting: First bell.
nemo
>
>
> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
>
> > KIMEVANS wrote:
> >
> > >Q: What did the inflatable school counsellor at Inflatable High School
say
> > >to the inflatable pupil when he took him into his inflatable office for
a
> > >lecture??
> > >
> > >A: John,your behahiour today has been totally disappointing!!! By
bringing
> > >that thumbtack into this school you have let not only your friends and
> > >classmates down but you have let the whole SCHOOL down.!!! But most
> > >importantly, what you are going to have to live with is the fact that,
this
> > >time, you have even let YOURSELF down!!!!!
> > >
> >
> > But I thought to air is human. Now I'm confused.
>
> "John, you are under arrest for poking an underage girl who was not of
> your race".
She was in the 100 metres. He was in the cross-country until he got shot!
Iraq is a very cross country indeed.
nemo
> >
> >
> > Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> >
> > > KIMEVANS wrote:
> > >
> > > >Q: What did the inflatable school counsellor at Inflatable High
School
> say
> > > >to the inflatable pupil when he took him into his inflatable office
for
> a
> > > >lecture??
> > > >
> > > >A: John,your behahiour today has been totally disappointing!!! By
> bringing
> > > >that thumbtack into this school you have let not only your friends
and
> > > >classmates down but you have let the whole SCHOOL down.!!! But most
> > > >importantly, what you are going to have to live with is the fact
that,
> this
> > > >time, you have even let YOURSELF down!!!!!
> > > >
> > >
> > > But I thought to air is human. Now I'm confused.
> >
> > "John, you are under arrest for poking an underage girl who was not of
> > your race".
> >
>
Nonce-sense!
nemo
> > >
> > > Computerize: Levitating computer.
> > >
> > > Computerize: Computer vision.
> > >
> > > Supercomputer: Computer on Krypton.
> >
> > Or a PC that runs a numerically-controlled kitchen producing various
> kinds
> > of stew and broth.
> >
> > Consumé: Soup for people with Tuberculosis.
> >
> > Ratatouille: A stew made from a pair of large rodents.
> >
> > Ratatatatatatatatatouille: The same stew, when served to
> machine-gunners.
>
> Alien Plot: Where ET grows his garden.
"E.T. grown loam!"
nemo
>
> Domestos: A household cleaner thrown out of the house for lying down on
> the job.
>
> Dettol: The fee you had to pay to drive away from the Supermarket with a
> bottle of disinfectant.
>
> Xenophobia: Fear of Xena Warrior Princess.
>
> Comply: Wooden computers.
MDF: A meaningless curse from a carpenter.
> Compact: Small computers.
>
> Compact: A computer treaty.
>
nemo
>
> Alan <bogf...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> news:<cf5qc0tea15ie1ref...@4ax.com>...
> > On Sun, 13 Jun 2004 12:46:23 GMT, mael...@eunet.at (Elisabeth Müller)
> > wrote:
> >
> > >Don't look in my direction.
> >
> > Will you turn me into a pillar of salt?
>
> No, into a pillar of parmesan cheese.
I use Tahini in my pasta sauces instead of parmesan. Tastes just as good..
Not using so much now though. The doc said to lose weight.
I've got a nice 56lb one but every time I try to lose it, somebody brings it
back!
nemo
> > >
> > >
> > > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote:
> > >
> > > > On Sat, 06 Dec 2003 08:11:12 -0800
> > > > J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > On 6 Dec 2003 13:24:49 GMT, Hauke Reddmann
<fc3...@uni-hamburg.de>
> > > > > found these unused words floating about:
> > > > >
> > > > > >To be frankly, I only believe in computers.
> > > > > >I'm a press-byte-rian.
> > > > >
> > > > > I only use multi-level sculpted keyboards ...
> > > > > I'm a press by tier'ian.
> > > > >
> > > > I believe mu computer should remain active all the time. I'm
> > > > anti-Bootist.
> > >
> > > Presbyterian: Worshipper of newspapers.
> >
> > Presbitaryan: A Caucasian person of Nordic descent who Dubbaya the Shrub
has
> > sunk his teeth into.
>
> Neither vagina Nordic.
Caucasian: Indian gentleman who collects wine bottle stoppers.
nemo
>
> Opal: Friend of the letter O.
>
> Oxide: Skin of a draft animal.
>
> Ozone: Donut region.
>
> Parlance: Knight weapon playing golf.
Palance: Ugly knight with big spear.
nemo
> > > Holo: A popular prostitute position.:)
> > >
> > > Hologram: A picture of same.
> > >
> > > Hologram: Message from a low prostitute.
> > >
> > > Hologram: Lighter than a Holopound.
> >
> > Holocopter: Rotary-wing aircraft with no-one inside.
> >
> > Holon a minute! There's no need to gush, Dan!!
>
> Boinking: King of sex.
>
> Conking: King of falling asleep.
>
> No Bell Prize: Awarded to a school whose bell didn't ring.
Noball Prize: Awarded to bad bowlers in cricket and to eunuchs.
nemo
>
> The unknowable wrote:
>
> > "Kathy" <tnkt...@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
> > news:6fd%b.90$n37....@read2.cgocable.net...> > > news:403C55F5...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Don't cry, Sis!
> > >
> > > Don't diss Astor!
> > >
> > Bud why did he pee at Zola?
>
> Don't step on Mitosis!
They only do it to cause division!
nemo
>
> "Greg Evans" <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote in message
> news:<2kl0cmF...@uni-berlin.de>...
> > Mos wrote:
> >
> > >> Mea culpa.
> > >
> > > You're a couple of what ?
> >
> > Cards short of a full deck.
>
> Carding: Musical auto.
>
> Decking: 10 kings.
>
> Forking: 4 kings
Four king bar steward: Nasty man who's been serving drinks at the palace for
a hell of a long time.
Nemo
Not for nothing the Numbo One Punster!
For £3 - 18s - 11½d actually!
That's including V.A.T. - Vear And Tear!
nemo
Narr. That's how much a person who's been continually naughty in a road
house has to pay St. Peter to open the gates.
nemo
Jaded: Denninx the Menninx has finally passed away! Guess what from.
nemo
UK slang expoding money.
nemo
INMARSAT: Detects when dad's doing his conjugal duties.
http://www.inmarsat.com/home_html.aspx
nemo
>
>
> "J. A. Mc." wrote:
>
> > On Wed, 19 Nov 2003 16:05:19 GMT, Buffalo Chilkat
> > <mam...@watering.hole> found these unused words floating about:
> >
> > >KIMEVANS wrote:
> > >
> > >>Q: What did the inflatable school counsellor at Inflatable High School
say
> > >>to the inflatable pupil when he took him into his inflatable office
for a
> > >>lecture??
> > >>
> > >>A: John,your behahiour today has been totally disappointing!!! By
bringing
> > >>that thumbtack into this school you have let not only your friends and
> > >>classmates down but you have let the whole SCHOOL down.!!! But most
> > >>importantly, what you are going to have to live with is the fact that,
this
> > >>time, you have even let YOURSELF down!!!!!
> > >>
> > >
> > >But I thought to air is human. Now I'm confused.
> >
>
> Dirigible: Inflated male cow.
>
Dirigible: Opposite of Desmoothieble.
nemo
> Itinerant: Wandering ant.
>
> Jubilant: Ant jumping up and down for joy.
>
> Pants: Ants with good jeans.
They weren't incestuously conceived in roadhouses then? No Inn-breeding!
>
> Rant: Ant that talks on and on.
nemo
>
> Lucent: Plastic penny.
>
> Lucent: Penny toilet.
Translucent: A cross-dressing toilet penny.
>
> Sent: A mailed or Fed Exed penny.
>
> Sentient: Smart penny.
>
> Sentiment: Feeling penny.
nemo
> > >
> > > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote:
> > >
> > > > On 27 Dec 2003 20:21:41 GMT
> > > > johnnai...@aol.com (Johnnaishwerner) wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "It's twenty below," said Tom coldly.
> > > > > "I've had too much Burgandy," Tom whined.
> > > >
> > > > "Watch out for that puddle," Tom slipped in.
> > >
> > > "Where are those Iraqi WMDs!!!????" Tom exploded.
> > >
> >
> > "Down a very deep shaft," Fred deter-mined.
>
> If they explode, they will under-mine everything!
Daisy Cuntter: Modified version of the famous deep-penetration bomb
especially for Bin Laden!
:o(
nemo
>
>
> Pierre Abbat wrote:
>
> > Michael Balarama wrote:
> >
> > > Soon after being transferred to a new duty station, my Marine
> > > husband called home to tell me he would be late - again. He
> > > went on to say that dirty magazines had been discovered in
> > > the platoon's quarters and they had to discipline the whole
> > > squad. I launched into a tirade, arguing that many men had
> > > pictures hanging in their quarters at our previous post, so
> > > his new platoon should not be penalized for something trivial.
> > >
> > > My husband calmly listened to my gripes and then explained,
> > > "Honey, dirty magazines: the clips from their rifles had not
> > > been cleaned."
They must have been examples of that famous singing rifle then: Dusty
Springfields!
> >
> > Well, they'd better Hoppe to it!
>
> How harey!
>
> > Sometimes I rifle through the magazines at the library.
nemo
Pillock: Needed to keep an idiot from being stolen!
nemo
>
> Checker: Dog who plays board games.
>
> Checker: Dog from the Czech Republic.
>
> Checking: A very successful banker.
Wet king: A very successful wanker.
>
> Checking: King of the Czech Republic.
UK policician who works in the chicken farming division of the Food Standard
Agency:
Chancellor of the Eggs Checker.
nemo
Starling: Very small crow in the movies. (Another small bird that's
virtually disappeared from London. Used to be millions of 'em. And people
still say there's nothing wrong with the planet!)
Bloke in armour who's got blown off his horse: Knightingale.
nemo
> > >
> > > > "Right now President Bush is in Europe, he's in Germany,
> > > > and he stopped in Frankfurt and he got off the plane and
> > > > he electrified the crowd with 'Ich Bin ein frankfurter.'"
> > >
> > > At least he was frank!
> > >
> > The President mustard the troops but they couldn't ketchup.
>
> What turkeys!
And he still doesn't know how re-sauces should be mustard!
What a dumb bloody idiot! The way he's cocked up the response to the
hurricane makes the US look like a third world country!