Donuts - Jokes or Puns
J.A. McCulloch
Wanted - Jokes or Puns involving donuts - eating kind.
Been looking for some for a friend.
TIA - J.Mc.
Frank Reid
COPS IS DONUTS. DONUTS IS COPS.
David Monk
In article <33331C...@konsentric.net>, ad...@konsentric.net says...
>
>Wanted - Jokes or Puns involving donuts - eating kind.
>Been looking for some for a friend.
>TIA - J.Mc.
Donut = life support system for a hole
charlie
Did you hear about the donut baker who fell off a ladder?
We went down with flying crullers.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Polygon: where is my parrot?
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Hexagram: curse delivered by Western Union
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Tessarat: four-dimensional rodent
Anne
J.A. McCulloch wrote:
>
> Wanted - Jokes or Puns involving donuts - eating kind.
> Been looking for some for a friend.
> TIA - J.Mc.
Twixt the optimist and pessimist,
the difference is droll...
the optimist sees the donut,
the pessimist sees the hole!
Oliver K. Reichl
True event:
Recall Kennedy's speech in Berlin?
He said "Ich bin ein Berliner"
What he should have said: "Ich bin Berliner"
because what Germans heard was "I am a jelly donut".
--
Anti-spam alert!!!!
To respond to the real me, remove the "hill" part of the e-mail address.
Ann Cantelow
cha...@charlie.com (charlie) writes:
>In article <5gvb3k$3al$2...@shadow.skypoint.net>, dro...@skypoint.com (David Monk) wrote:
>> In article <33331C...@konsentric.net>, ad...@konsentric.net says...
>> >
>> >Wanted - Jokes or Puns involving donuts - eating kind.
>> >Been looking for some for a friend.
>> >TIA - J.Mc.
>>
>> Donut = life support system for a hole
>Did you hear about the donut baker who fell off a ladder?
>We went down with flying crullers.
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
> Polygon: where is my parrot?
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
> Hexagram: curse delivered by Western Union
>-------------------------------------------------------------------
> Tessarat: four-dimensional rodent
Well, you heard about the most popular waiter at the nudist colony,
right? He's the one who can deliver two cups of coffee and six
donuts without a tray.
-- uh, sorry if this is in bad taste.
-Cantelow
laserdog
Did you hear about the donut maker who quit his job?
He got tired of the whole business.
Ann Cantelow <cant...@ares.csd.net> wrote in article
<5he8gv$o...@apollo.csd.net>...
mobyd
"laserdog" <lase...@scioto.net> wrote:
>Did you hear about the donut maker who quit his job?
>He got tired of the whole business.
>Ann Cantelow <cant...@ares.csd.net> wrote in article
><5he8gv$o...@apollo.csd.net>...
>> cha...@charlie.com (charlie) writes:
>>
>> >In article <5gvb3k$3al$2...@shadow.skypoint.net>, dro...@skypoint.com
>(David Monk) wrote:
>>
>> >> In article <33331C...@konsentric.net>, ad...@konsentric.net says...
>> >> >
>> >> >Wanted - Jokes or Puns involving donuts - eating kind.
>> >> >Been looking for some for a friend.
>> >> >TIA - J.Mc.
>> >>
>> >> Donut = life support system for a hole
>>
>> >Did you hear about the donut baker who fell off a ladder?
>> >We went down with flying crullers.
>>
>> Well, you heard about the most popular waiter at the nudist colony,
>> right? He's the one who can deliver two cups of coffee and six
>> donuts without a tray.
>>
Somewhere there's gotta be a donut shop called the Holey Grail.
Moby Dick (mobyd*no-spam-please*@tiac.net)
"When puns are outlawed, only outlaws will have puns."
Corinna P. Perkins
In article <33331C...@konsentric.net> ad...@konsentric.net writes:
>Wanted - Jokes or Puns involving donuts - eating kind.
>Been looking for some for a friend.
>TIA - J.Mc.
Why did the golfer tee off with a donut?
Because he wanted a hole in one!
Ha
ha
ha
ha
HA
!!
ph...@trellis.net
Said one fragment of a doughnut to the others: "That topologist torus to
bits!"
phma
Guy R. Briggs
ph...@trellis.net wrote:
|
| Said one fragment of a doughnut to the others: "That topologist
| torus to bits!"
|
can't tell their donut from their coffee cup.
Best Regards,
Guy R. "BrickWall" Briggs ----------- net...@mindspring.com
"All God's critters got a place in the choir,
Some sing low, some sing higher.
Some sing out loud on the telephone wire!
And some just clap their hands, or paws,
Or anything they got."
Will Trosky
ph...@trellis.net wrote:
>
> Said one fragment of a doughnut to the others: "That topologist torus to
> bits!"
>
> phma
That one kinda glazed me over. Maybe I didn't read the hole thing.
--
Will Trosky
James D. Davis
Will Trosky (tro...@ibm.net) wrote:
: ph...@trellis.net wrote:
: >
: > Said one fragment of a doughnut to the others: "That topologist torus to
: > bits!"
: That one kinda glazed me over. Maybe I didn't read the hole thing.
I'd like eclair answer, too.
Maybe it was an off-cruller joke?
Jim
------------------------------------------------------------------------
James D. Davis (ji...@gate.net)
It's not so important to be serious as it is to be serious about
what's important.
-- Unknown
------------------------------------------------------------------------
Doug Russell
ji...@gate.net (James D. Davis) wrote:
>: That one kinda glazed me over. Maybe I didn't read the hole thing.
> I'd like eclair answer, too.
> Maybe it was an off-cruller joke?
Maybe I Donut want to post here because I don't want to Fritter away
my time, or maybe I'm just not sure of my Roll.
Mo
Hole it right there, now that is the icing on the cake-donut.
Could you be more eclair?
J.A. McCulloch
Jeff Carroll wrote:
>
> I think it was best said by Duncan in Macbeth:
>
> "Do not ask for whom the bell do not toll."
>
> Jeff C.
Ahhhh! So that's where Hines got his Cookies!
J.Mc.
charlie
fre...@atechinc.com wrote:
Enough of these re-tarts! You are talking a horse of a different cruller!
--
--------------------------------|--------------------------------
Cult that specializes in | Cult that specializes in
certain hair-care products | certain male toiletries
|
Jojoba's Witnesses | Mennenites
|
Name
On Sat, 10 May 1997 00:19:36 -0700, cha...@tuna.net (charlie) wrote:
>fre...@atechinc.com wrote:
>
>> Doug Russell wrote:
>> >
>> > ji...@gate.net (James D. Davis) wrote:
>> >
>> > >: That one kinda glazed me over. Maybe I didn't read the hole thing.
>> >
>> > > I'd like eclair answer, too.
>> > > Maybe it was an off-cruller joke?
>> >
>> > Maybe I Donut want to post here because I don't want to Fritter away
>> > my time, or maybe I'm just not sure of my Roll.
>>
>> Hole it right there, now that is the icing on the cake-donut.
>> Could you be more eclair?
>
>Enough of these re-tarts! You are talking a horse of a different cruller!
Well that puts a different twist on things. It raised my spirits since
I'm out of dough for the weekend.
The Bubbla
Doug Russell
Mo <fre...@atechinc.com> wrote:
>Hole it right there, now that is the icing on the cake-donut.
>Could you be more eclair?
I like the taste of a donut, but it upsets my stomach. It just never
agrease with me.
charlie
edg...@sonnet.nospam.com wrote:
> I glazed upon the possible puns to submit, but I donut know
> what to write.
Stop acting like re-tarts! The yeast we can do is turnover this thread.
Robert E. Lewis
Doug Russell wrote:
>
> Mo <fre...@atechinc.com> wrote:
>
> >Hole it right there, now that is the icing on the cake-donut.
> >Could you be more eclair?
>
> I like the taste of a donut, but it upsets my stomach. It just never
> agrease with me.
Did you eat the hole thing?
Doug Russell
cha...@tuna.net (charlie) wrote:
>> I glazed upon the possible puns to submit, but I donut know
>> what to write.
>Stop acting like re-tarts! The yeast we can do is turnover this thread.
I say, we buttermilk this thread for all it's worth.
David Katelansky
In article <5lgd55$bk$1...@nnrp01.primenet.com> dou...@primenet.com (Doug Russell) writes:
>From: dou...@primenet.com (Doug Russell)
>Subject: Re: Donuts - Jokes or Puns
>Date: 15 May 1997 18:27:01 -0700
>cha...@tuna.net (charlie) wrote:
> My eyes glazed over when I read these jokes. They were written by some real
> cream puffs!
> Dave
Dave Katelansky
herc...@edenbbs.com
Hauke Reddmann
Doug Russell (dou...@primenet.com) wrote:
: ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
:
: >>I like the taste of a donut, but it upsets my stomach. It >just never agrease with me.
:
: >That happened to my friend Napoleon also! His eyes used to
: >glaze over from the pain!
:
: Hilarious pun! We laughed so hard, it really torus up.
:
Are you driving a pr-edsel, by any chance?
--
Hauke Reddmann <:-EX8
fc3...@math.uni-hamburg.de PRIVATE EMAIL
fc3...@rzaixsrv1.rrz.uni-hamburg.de BACKUP
redd...@chemie.uni-hamburg.de SCIENCE ONLY
Melanie Aultman
On 21 May 1997, Doug Russell wrote:
>
> ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>
> >>I like the taste of a donut, but it upsets my stomach. It >just never agrease with me.
>
> >That happened to my friend Napoleon also! His eyes used to
> >glaze over from the pain!
> Hilarious pun! We laughed so hard, it really torus up.
>
> What do you get when the bakery explodes?
Napoleon blown-apart.
>
edg...@sonnet.nospam.com
Buster
> > > ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
> > > >>I like the taste of a donut, but it upsets my stomach. It >just never agrease with me.
> > > >That happened to my friend Napoleon also! His eyes used to
> > > >glaze over from the pain!
> > > Hilarious pun! We laughed so hard, it really torus up.
> > > What do you get when the bakery explodes?
> > Napoleon blown-apart.
> I d-eclair, you have a hole in your argument.
All of these baked goods puns, or half baked puns, really bagels the
mind.
Buster
-- "Net boy, net girl, Send your impulse 'round the world
Put your message in a modem, And throw it in the Cyber Sea"
Virtuality by Rush
Doug Russell
ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>>Hilarious pun! We laughed so hard, it really torus up.
>That sounds like a lot of BULL! :-)
To reply is beneath me. No comet!
Megan Waves
On 29 May 1997 01:18:00 -0700, dou...@primenet.com (Doug Russell)
wrote:
There are only 8 planets. Uranus is an ass toroid.
unsigned ( in self-defence)
Kim
Doug Russell wrote:
>
> ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>
> >>Hilarious pun! We laughed so hard, it really torus up.
>
> >That sounds like a lot of BULL! :-)
>
> To reply is beneath me. No comet!
i laughed so hard my asteroids flared up again.
--Kim
Doug Russell
jon...@ix.netcom.com (Jon ) wrote:
>>You guys sound like you are spaced out.
>Give me a sign if we need to stay out of each others orbit.
I give up. This just isn't one of my aries of expertise.
Steve P.
>>>You guys sound like you are spaced out.
>>Give me a sign if we need to stay out of each others orbit.
>I give up. This just isn't one of my aries of expertise.
I like a THICK thread! Boy, has this thread gotten meteor
what?!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
And on the seventh day, God said, "It's Miller time!
James D. Davis
pml (plav...@nh.ultranet.com) wrote:
: Steve P. wrote:
: >
: > On Fri, 30 May 1997 03:27:59 -0500, Kim
: > <ramshor...@NOTswbell.net> wrote:
: > >Doug Russell wrote:
: > >> ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
: >
: >
: > >>>>Hilarious pun! We laughed so hard, it really torus up.
: >
: > >>>That sounds like a lot of BULL! :-)
: >
: > >> To reply is beneath me. No comet!
: >
: > >i laughed so hard my asteroids flared up again.
: >
: > >>>You guys sound like you are spaced out.
: >
: > >>Give me a sign if we need to stay out of each others orbit.
: >
: > >I give up. This just isn't one of my aries of expertise.
: >
: > I like a THICK thread! Boy, has this thread gotten meteor
: > what?!
: I don't want to star-t up with you, so I think I'll go the Libra-ry and
: look up some more, comet to think of it.
As Alannis would say, "Isn't it Orionic?"
Matt Swanson
I star-d at this screen thinking, "I couldn't have planet better" for
this is such a universe-l thread.
Steve P.
On 3 Jun 1997 07:57:50 -0400, ji...@gate.net (James D. Davis)
wrote:
>pml (plav...@nh.ultranet.com) wrote:
>: Steve P. wrote:
>: > On Fri, 30 May 1997 03:27:59 -0500, Kim
>: > <ramshor...@NOTswbell.net> wrote:
>: > >Doug Russell wrote:
>: > >> ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>:>>>>>Hilarious pun! We laughed so hard, it really torus
>:>>>>That sounds like a lot of BULL! :-)
>:>>> To reply is beneath me. No comet!
>:>>i laughed so hard my asteroids flared up again.
>:>>>>You guys sound like you are spaced out.
>:>>>Give me a sign if we need to stay out of each others orbit.
>:>>I give up. This just isn't one of my aries of expertise.
>> I like a THICK thread! Boy, has this thread gotten >>meteor or what?!
>: I don't want to star-t up with you, so I think I'll go the Libra-ry and
>: look up some more, comet to think of it.
> As Alannis would say, "Isn't it Orionic?"
Boy, the Mercury is sure rising in this thread!
dave pierson
In article <33942B...@aol.com>, Matt Swanson <edg...@aol.com> writes...
>James D. Davis wrote:
>> pml (plav...@nh.ultranet.com) wrote:
>> : Steve P. wrote:
>> : > On Fri, 30 May 1997 03:27:59 -0500, Kim
>> : > <ramshor...@NOTswbell.net> wrote:
>> : > >Doug Russell wrote:
>> : > >> ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>> : > >>>>Hilarious pun! We laughed so hard, it really torus up.
>> : > >>>That sounds like a lot of BULL! :-)
>> : > >> To reply is beneath me. No comet!
>> : > >i laughed so hard my asteroids flared up again.
>> : > >>>You guys sound like you are spaced out.
>> : > >>Give me a sign if we need to stay out of each others orbit.
>> : > >I give up. This just isn't one of my aries of expertise.
>> : > I like a THICK thread! Boy, has this thread gotten meteor
>> : > what?!
>> : I don't want to star-t up with you, so I think I'll go the Libra-ry and
>> : look up some more, comet to think of it.
>> As Alannis would say, "Isn't it Orionic?"
>I star-d at this screen thinking, "I couldn't have planet better" for
>this is such a universe-l thread.
Do proctologists study astrology?
thanks
dave pierson |the facts, as accurately as i can manage,
Digital Equipment Corporation |the opinions, my own.
334 South St |
Shrewbury, Mass USA pie...@gone.enet.dec.com
"He has read everything, and, to his credit, written nothing." A J Raffles
David Bridges
In article <33b1bcea...@news.interport.net>, "Steve P."
<ste...@interport.net> writes
>>pml (plav...@nh.ultranet.com) wrote:
>>: Steve P. wrote:
>>: > On Fri, 30 May 1997 03:27:59 -0500, Kim
>>: > <ramshor...@NOTswbell.net> wrote:
>>: > >Doug Russell wrote:
>>: > >> ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>
>
>>:>>>>>Hilarious pun! We laughed so hard, it really torus
>
>
>>:>>> To reply is beneath me. No comet!
>
>>:>>i laughed so hard my asteroids flared up again.
>
>>:>>>>You guys sound like you are spaced out.
>
>>:>>>Give me a sign if we need to stay out of each others orbit.
>
>>:>>I give up. This just isn't one of my aries of expertise.
>
>
>>: I don't want to star-t up with you, so I think I'll go the Libra-ry and
>>: look up some more, comet to think of it.
>
>> As Alannis would say, "Isn't it Orionic?"
>
>
a smile when she saw I'd brought her a Galaxy and a Milky Way. She's got
a sweet tooth and loves it when her son comes to visit.
BTW, if you don't like this post you can shove it up yer anus :-)
--
David Bridges
Doug Russell
ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>Boy, the Mercury is sure rising in this thread!
Yes, it's a treasure, a jewel,
a real gemini hope we keep posting more.
Steve P.
On 5 Jun 1997 03:16:02 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug
I was treasure-hunting recently. My pal kept getting up and
down. I told him to sit still in the boat, and don't rocket.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Are those cookies made with REAL Girl Scouts?
James D. Davis
Steve P. (ste...@interport.net) wrote:
: On 5 Jun 1997 03:16:02 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug
: Russell) wrote:
: >ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
:
: >>Boy, the Mercury is sure rising in this thread!
:
: >Yes, it's a treasure, a jewel,
: >a real gemini hope we keep posting more.
:
: I was treasure-hunting recently. My pal kept getting up and
: down. I told him to sit still in the boat, and don't rocket.
Thanks for writing that missile.
: =-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
: Are those cookies made with REAL Girl Scouts?
Are those wings made with real buffaloes?
Jim
Joseph Davidson
Astoroid --
Mathematical Name for a toilet seat;
James D. Davis (ji...@gate.net) wrote:
: Jim
--
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Joseph Davidson Ph.D.
InterGuru -- Internet Training and Consulting
Technical Web Service, Perl/CGI, E-mail address conversion service
1501 Dublin Drive, Silver Spring, Md. 20902
voice 301 593 4152 ; fax 301 593 2541
jdav...@interguru.com, http://www.interguru.com
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Philipp Renard
> ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>
> >>Hilarious pun! We laughed so hard, it really torus up.
>
> >That sounds like a lot of BULL! :-)
>
> To reply is beneath me. No comet!
My friend Jim-n-I were looking through this group at work. When my boss
caught us he threatened to Canus Major. What a crab! We'll have to keep
orion that guy, instead of our sexy co-workers Bootes.
--
Philipp Renard * "If you can't say what you mean,
http://www.themall.net/~bavacado * then you can never mean what you
* say - the details are everything"
* Marcus Cole, Ranger,
* Babylon 5
Philipp Renard
> ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>
> >Boy, the Mercury is sure rising in this thread!
>
> Yes, it's a treasure, a jewel,
> a real gemini hope we keep posting more.
My friend Jim-n-I were looking through this group at work. When our boss
caught os he threatened to Canus Major. What a Crab! From now on we'll have
to keep Orion that guy instead of our sexy co-workers Bootes.
pml
Jon wrote:
>
> On Sat, 07 Jun 1997 20:36:21 -0500, RPC <r-cal...@nwu.edu> wrote:
>
> >Joseph Davidson wrote:
> >> Astoroid --
> >> Mathematical Name for a toilet seat;
> >> James D. Davis (ji...@gate.net) wrote:
> >> : Steve P. (ste...@interport.net) wrote:
> >> : : On 5 Jun 1997 03:16:02 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug
> >> : : >ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
> >> : : >>Boy, the Mercury is sure rising in this thread!
> >> : : >Yes, it's a treasure, a jewel,
> >> : : >a real gemini hope we keep posting more.
> >> : : down. I told him to sit still in the boat, and don't rocket.
> >> : Thanks for writing that missile.
> Naw, we all need a booster.
Forget it - I'm out to launch.
Doug Russell
pml <plav...@nh.ultranet.com> wrote:
>> >> : : I was treasure-hunting recently. My pal kept getting up and
>> >> : : down. I told him to sit still in the boat, and don't rocket.
>> >> : Thanks for writing that missile.
>> >Now, now, we all just need to shuttle down here.
>> Naw, we all need a booster.
>Forget it - I'm out to launch.
Now, now, all of you, quit it!!
If you can't say something NASA, say nothing at all.
Hauke Reddmann
Doug Russell (rus...@primenet.com) wrote:
:
: We drank so much we were pie-eyed,
: and I wonder what it is a pisces?
:
<rec.arts.anime>
Oh, at last you didn't drink until
you were Pai-eyed, or you'd seen
everything triple...
</rec.arts.anime>
(yes, go on, add the Eastern zodiac too.
I already smell a rat!)
Doug Russell
blind....@earthlink.net (Philipp Renard) wrote:
>My friend Jim-n-I were looking through this group at work. When my boss
>caught us he threatened to Canus Major. What a crab! We'll have to keep
>orion that guy, instead of our sexy co-workers Bootes.
James D. Davis
Steve P. (ste...@interport.net) wrote:
: Hey Doug! I know you're a history buff.
What does that mean? He has famous dates tattooed on his skin?
James D. Davis
Doug Russell (rus...@primenet.com) wrote:
: pml <plav...@nh.ultranet.com> wrote:
: Now, now, all of you, quit it!!
: If you can't say something NASA, say nothing at all.
Atlas! Someone wrote a nice missile! Now, I don't want to see
anyone throw a rocket Doug.
CCH...@musicb.mcgill.ca
Yesterday I was spaced out, so I satellite beer on the table
beside me while I had launch. The mercury was so high it was
apollo-ing.
pml
Steve P. wrote:
>
> On 11 Jun 1997 01:08:00 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug
> Russell) wrote:
> >pml <plav...@nh.ultranet.com> wrote:
>
> >>>>My pal kept getting up and down. I told him to sit still >>>>in the boat, and don't rocket.
>
> >>>>>Thanks for writing that missile.
>
> >>>>Now, now, we all just need to shuttle down here.
>
> >>>Naw, we all need a booster.
>
> >>Forget it - I'm out to launch.
>
> >If you can't say something NASA, say nothing at all.
>
> American Revolutionary War museum. They have wax figures, so
> you can observe a tory!
Difference between Voyager and a voyeur: One sees stars with the naked
eye, the other gives naked stars the eye.
Doug Russell
ji...@gate.net (James D. Davis) wrote:
>: Now, now, all of you, quit it!!
>: If you can't say something NASA, say nothing at all.
> Atlas! Someone wrote a nice missile! Now, I don't want to see
>anyone throw a rocket Doug.
If I'd thought that would happen, I'd of hesitated, orbit my tongue.
Doug Russell
ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>>Now, now, all of you, quit it!!
>>If you can't say something NASA, say nothing at all.
>Hey Doug! I know you're a history buff. Come to the new
>American Revolutionary War museum. They have wax figures, so
>you can observe a tory!
Maybe I'll scope it out. But I won't be much interested if it doesn't
have a Libra-ry.
Steve P.
On 14 Jun 1997 01:38:00 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug
>>>Now, now, all of you, quit it!!
>>>If you can't say something NASA, say nothing at all.
>>Hey Doug! I know you're a history buff. Come to the new
>>American Revolutionary War museum. They have wax figures, o
>>you can observe a tory!
>Maybe I'll scope it out. But I won't be much interested if >it doesn't have a Libra-ry.
They've got a great library, and a nice cafeteria also. I
went in there for a drink and asked for a bottle of coke.
The clerk replied, "We don't have bottles, would you like a
can, sir?"
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Better a witty fool than a foolish wit.
pml
Doug Russell wrote:
>
> ji...@gate.net (James D. Davis) wrote:
>
> >: Now, now, all of you, quit it!!
> >: If you can't say something NASA, say nothing at all.
OK. We can just have a Plutonic relationship.
James D. Davis
: > Russell) wrote:
: > >ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
: >
: > >>>Now, now, all of you, quit it!!
: > >>>If you can't say something NASA, say nothing at all.
: > >>Hey Doug! I know you're a history buff. Come to the new
: > >>American Revolutionary War museum. They have wax figures, o
: > >>you can observe a tory!
: >
: > >Maybe I'll scope it out. But I won't be much interested if >it doesn't have a Libra-ry.
: >
: > They've got a great library, and a nice cafeteria also. I
: > went in there for a drink and asked for a bottle of coke.
: > The clerk replied, "We don't have bottles, would you like a
: > can, sir?"
: And did you get any cakesies or Pisces while you were there?
If we were on an island, I'd say this was a lot of Capri corn.
Kim
Steve P. wrote:
>
> On 11 Jun 1997 01:08:00 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug
> Russell) wrote:
> >pml <plav...@nh.ultranet.com> wrote:
>
> >>>>My pal kept getting up and down. I told him to sit still >>>>in the boat, and don't rocket.
>
> >>>>>Thanks for writing that missile.
>
> >>>>Now, now, we all just need to shuttle down here.
>
> >>>Naw, we all need a booster.
>
> >>Forget it - I'm out to launch.
>
> >If you can't say something NASA, say nothing at all.
>
> Hey Doug! I know you're a history buff. Come to the new
> you can observe a tory!
my great-great-great grandfather was famous in the Revolutionary War.
he had a guard-rooster. everytime someone tried to cross his land or
mess with the house, this rooster would crow his head off and alert my
great-great-great grandfather and most of the neighborhood.
one night, the british were trying to mount a sneak attack on the town.
a traitor lived in the town, unbeknownst to anyone, who was loyal to the
king and therefore a tory. well...my great-great-great grandfather's
rooster saw him sneaking across his land to guide the invading troops
into town. of course, that trusty old patriotic rooster started
crowing...louder than usual, in fact...and the townspeople were able to
fight off the attack before it even began, thus saving the town.
the tory was put in stocks in the town square and had a healthy diet of
tomatoes and lettuce thrown at him for the next week, afterwhich, he was
deported back to england.
so, my great-great-great grandfather's rooster became famous. he became
the first (are you ready?)....chicken catch-a-tory.
--Kim
(ba bump...CHING!)
(ps...can't take credit for this one. if it looks familiar, i saw it on
a greeting card once).
James D. Davis
Kim (ramshor...@NOTswbell.net) wrote:
:
: so, my great-great-great grandfather's rooster became famous. he became
: the first (are you ready?)....chicken catch-a-tory.
The version I heard was about an Italian ballplayer who dodged a
fastball. His name, of course, became "Chicken Cacciatore."
That was allied with Johnny Carson's old one about the oldest
living kamikazi pilot: "Chicken" Sukiyaki.
Jim
Hauke Reddmann
pml (plav...@nh.ultranet.com) wrote:
: James D. Davis wrote:
: >
: > : > On 14 Jun 1997 01:38:00 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug
: > : > Russell) wrote:
: > : > >ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
: > : >
: > : > >>>Now, now, all of you, quit it!!
: > : > >>>If you can't say something NASA, say nothing at all.
: > : >
: > : > >>Hey Doug! I know you're a history buff. Come to the new
: > : > >>you can observe a tory!
: > : >
: > : > >Maybe I'll scope it out. But I won't be much interested if >it doesn't have a Libra-ry.
: > : >
: > : > They've got a great library, and a nice cafeteria also. I
: > : > went in there for a drink and asked for a bottle of coke.
: > : > The clerk replied, "We don't have bottles, would you like a
: > : > can, sir?"
: > :
: > : And did you get any cakesies or Pisces while you were there?
: >
: > If we were on an island, I'd say this was a lot of Capri corn.
: I think you're getting away from the Aries of this thread.
Who Ceres? (That wasn't Planet,ok)
Steve P.
>> : > pml (plav...@nh.ultranet.com) wrote:
>> : > : Steve P. wrote:
>> : > : > On 14 Jun 1997 01:38:00 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug
>> : > : > Russell) wrote:
>> : > : > >ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>> : > : > >>>Now, now, all of you, quit it!!
>> : > : > >>>If you can't say something NASA, say nothing at
>> : > : > >>Hey Doug! I know you're a history buff. Come to the new
>> : > : > >>American Revolutionary War museum. They have wax figures, o
>> : > : > >>you can observe a tory!
>> : > : > >Maybe I'll scope it out. But I won't be much interested if >it doesn't have a Libra-ry.
>> : > : > They've got a great library, and a nice cafeteria also. I
>> : > : > went in there for a drink and asked for a bottle of coke.
>> : > : > The clerk replied, "We don't have bottles, would you like a
>> : > : > can, sir?"
>> : > : And did you get any cakesies or Pisces while you were there?
No, but I got some delicious cuspcakes!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Can Harrison Ford the river?
Doug Russell
pml <plav...@nh.ultranet.com> wrote:
>> They've got a great library, and a nice cafeteria also. I
>> went in there for a drink and asked for a bottle of coke.
>> The clerk replied, "We don't have bottles, would you like a
>> can, sir?"
>And did you get any cakesies or Pisces while you were there?
Yeah, but when they offered to put butter or whipped cream on, I said,
"No, I prefer oLeo."
Doug Russell
pml <plav...@nh.ultranet.com> wrote:
>OK. We can just have a Plutonic relationship.
Why not wait to see what develops? Our relationship has been
spontaneous up to now, so why planet?
Doug Russell
ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>>> : > : And did you get any cakesies or Pisces while you were there?
>No, but I got some delicious cuspcakes!
I couldn't decide what to order, so just Saturn my butt 'til the
cafeteria closed.
Steve P.
On 19 Jun 1997 01:45:00 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug
Russell) wrote:
>pml <plav...@nh.ultranet.com> wrote:
>>And did you get any cakesies or Pisces while you were there?
>Yeah, but when they offered to put butter or whipped cream on, I said,
>"No, I prefer oLeo."
Now I KNOW you're lion!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Castrate - the hotel rate for actors.
Doug Russell
ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>>>And did you get any cakesies or Pisces while you were there?
>>Yeah, but when they offered to put butter or whipped cream on, I said,
>>"No, I prefer oLeo."
>Now I KNOW you're lion!
Not true!! Prove it, if you Can,sir.
Doug Russell
r...@netbistro.com (Megan Waves) wrote:
>>>OK. We can just have a Plutonic relationship.
>>
>>Why not wait to see what develops? Our relationship has been
>>spontaneous up to now, so why planet?
>>
>Aw...gee whiz guys... Charon a special moment...
Yeah, I had stars in my eyes.
Doug Russell
<CCH...@MUSICB.MCGILL.CA> wrote:
>>>>> : > : And did you get any cakesies or Pisces while you were there?
>>
>>>No, but I got some delicious cuspcakes!
>>
>>I couldn't decide what to order, so just Saturn my butt 'til the
>>cafeteria closed.
>You Saturn Uranus sunny? Let's get Sirius!
Butt it's true! I have the bruises to prove it.
You should see my black hole.
pml
This thread is getting meteor and meteor.
Steve P.
On 21 Jun 1997 01:51:00 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug
Russell) wrote:
>ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>>>"No, I prefer oLeo."
>>Now I KNOW you're lion!
>Not true!! Prove it, if you Can,sir.
You're just trying to start an argument, you old crab!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Cross an antelope with some underwear = Gnus briefs.
Steve P.
On 21 Jun 1997 01:52:00 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug
Russell) wrote:
>r...@netbistro.com (Megan Waves) wrote:
>>Aw...gee whiz guys... Charon a special moment...
>Yeah, I had stars in my eyes.
That's only cause you were doing the dishes and got Comet in
them!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Cult - A religion with no political power.
pml
That humor came out of a warp.
charlie
Did you try Preparation A on your asteroids too?
---------------------------------------------------------
There are three kinds of people:
Those who can count and those who cannot
Doug Russell
ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>>>>"No, I prefer oLeo."
>>>Now I KNOW you're lion!
>>Not true!! Prove it, if you Can,sir.
>You're just trying to start an argument, you old crab!
Your logic escapes me. "Old crab" is rather nebulas.
Doug Russell
pml <plav...@nh.ultranet.com> wrote:
>> Yeah, I had stars in my eyes.
>This thread is getting meteor and meteor.
Yes, it could soon eclipse all others.
Doug Russell
cha...@tuna.net (charlie) wrote:
>> > >You Saturn Uranus sunny? Let's get Sirius!
>> >
>> > Butt it's true! I have the bruises to prove it.
>> > You should see my black hole.
>>
>> That humor came out of a warp.
>Did you try Preparation A on your asteroids too?
Yes, and I also got relief from reading fairy tales: in this case,
Snow Seven and the White Dwarfs.
James D. Davis
Doug Russell
ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>>This evening I went round ma's. Her face, normally >saturnine, broke into a smile when she saw I'd brought
>>her a Galaxy and a Milky Way.
>So she liked you better than your sister, her Baby Ruth?
I knew a guy who, as a hobby, put on gloves, and threw punches at
candies. He'd often bring his girlfriend a two or three-pounded boxer
of chocolates.
adrian smyth
rus...@primenet.com (Doug Russell) wrote:
>pml <plav...@nh.ultranet.com> wrote:
>>OK. We can just have a Plutonic relationship.
>Why not wait to see what develops? Our relationship has been
>spontaneous up to now, so why planet?
This could create univers-al appeal.
Are spatial skills of any substance?
I feel the gravity of this topic warping my orbiting thoughts, so I am
going to rocket off to another thread!
Adrian
adri...@dircon.co.uk
East Kilbride, Scotland.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed!
John R. Walradt
In article <33B028...@west.net>, Raymond Dashner <c...@west.net> wrote:
> Let's be serious. This is nothing to snicker at !!
Well, it probably didn't matter to her,she just ate them.
WhFastus
<<my great-great-great grandfather was famous in the Revolutionary War.
he had a guard-rooster. everytime someone tried to cross his land or
mess with the house, this rooster would crow his head off and alert my
great-great-great grandfather and most of the neighborhood.
one night, the british were trying to mount a sneak attack on the town.
a traitor lived in the town, unbeknownst to anyone, who was loyal to the
king and therefore a tory. well...my great-great-great grandfather's
rooster saw him sneaking across his land to guide the invading troops
into town. of course, that trusty old patriotic rooster started
crowing...louder than usual, in fact...and the townspeople were able to
fight off the attack before it even began, thus saving the town.
the tory was put in stocks in the town square and had a healthy diet of
tomatoes and lettuce thrown at him for the next week, afterwhich, he was
deported back to england.
so, my great-great-great grandfather's rooster became famous. he became
the first (are you ready?)....chicken catch-a-tory.
--Kim
(ba bump...CHING!)
(ps...can't take credit for this one. if it looks familiar, i saw it on
a greeting card once).>>
ROFL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just discovered this newsgroup tonight....I LOVE puns! :) I think I've
found my new favorite n.g.
===zoooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooom
To do good without God's help is as impossible as to make the sun shine at night. -- Saint Theresa of Lisieux
Edward Curtis
WhFa...@aol.com
Doug Russell
Raymond Dashner <c...@west.net> wrote:
>> >>This evening I went round ma's. Her face, normally >saturnine, broke into a smile when she saw I'd brought
>> >>her a Galaxy and a Milky Way.
>>
>> >So she liked you better than your sister, her Baby Ruth?
>>
>> I knew a guy who, as a hobby, put on gloves, and threw punches at
>> candies. He'd often bring his girlfriend a two or three-pounded boxer
>> of chocolates.
>Let's be serious. This is nothing to snicker at !!
Agreed. No one should be truffling with this thread.
Megan Waves
On 24 Jun 1997 03:43:03 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug Russell)
wrote:
>pml <plav...@nh.ultranet.com> wrote:
>
>>> Yeah, I had stars in my eyes.
>
>>This thread is getting meteor and meteor.
>
>Yes, it could soon eclipse all others.
>
When it reaches its zenith, will someone phone Ralph Nadir?
Megan
Steve P.
On 25 Jun 1997 00:23:01 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug
Oh, you're just robbing Peter to pay Paul! You're in for
mounds of troubles that way!
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Does Winona Ryder bicycle to the studio?
Doug Russell
ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>>Let's be serious. This is nothing to snicker at!!
>>Agreed. No one should be truffling with this thread.
>Oh, you're just robbing Peter to pay Paul! You're in for
>mounds of troubles that way!
Then, maybe we should bar candy jokes.
Doug Russell
ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>>Yeah, I had stars in my eyes.
>That's only cause you were doing the dishes and got Comet in
>them!
At the astronomers' convention, as soon as Carl was nominated to their
Hall of Fame, for writing best sellers popularizing astronomy, several
people jumped up and shouted, "I Sagan the motion!"
Melanie Aultman
>
> >>>Now I KNOW you're lion!
>
> >>Not true!! Prove it, if you Can,sir.
>
> >You're just trying to start an argument, you old crab!
>
> Your logic escapes me. "Old crab" is rather nebulas.
>
>
Shelley Levine
I agree, you two goats should butt it out and put a Cap on the Corn.
James D. Davis
Megan Waves (r...@netbistro.com) wrote:
: On 24 Jun 1997 03:43:03 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug Russell)
: wrote:
:
: >
: >>This thread is getting meteor and meteor.
: >
: >Yes, it could soon eclipse all others.
: >
:
: When it reaches its zenith, will someone phone Ralph Nadir?
Oh, I would, but I'm just a victim of apogee.
J.A. McCulloch
> > >>her a Galaxy and a Milky Way.
> >
> > >So she liked you better than your sister, her Baby Ruth?
> >
> > I knew a guy who, as a hobby, put on gloves, and threw punches at
> > candies. He'd often bring his girlfriend a two or three-pounded boxer
> > of chocolates.
>
Cad! Bury the hatchet already! (said Rollo'n the floor)
Where but on 5th Avenue can you hear she cry over Tiffany's jewels?
J.Mc.
J Shearer
Stop all this bickering! Let the Dove of peace fly over us!
pml
>
> >them!
>
> At the astronomers' convention, as soon as Carl was nominated to their
> Hall of Fame, for writing best sellers popularizing astronomy, several
> people jumped up and shouted, "I Sagan the motion!"
They must have run that convention according to Hoyle.
teribl
In article <5oo8bn$j...@nntp02.primenet.com>, rus...@primenet.com (Doug Russell) says:
>Yes, it could soon eclipse all others.
The sky's the limit here.
Heavens, this could be a 5 star topic. I will scope it out once in
a while.
However-no mooning is allowed here.
teribl
John R. Walradt
> In article <5oo8bn$j...@nntp02.primenet.com>, rus...@primenet.com (Doug
Russell) says:
> >
> >pml <plav...@nh.ultranet.com> wrote:
> >
> >>> Yeah, I had stars in my eyes.
> >
> >>This thread is getting meteor and meteor.
>
> >Yes, it could soon eclipse all others.
How do you like the name, "Saturn?" Has quite a ring to it, doesn't it?
Kim
Megan Waves wrote:
>
> On Thu, 26 Jun 1997 15:21:46 GMT, shel...@interport.net (Shelley
> Levine) wrote:
>
> >On Thu, 26 Jun 1997 07:44:58 -0400, Melanie Aultman <afn1...@afn.org> wrote:
> >
> >>>
> >>> >>>Now I KNOW you're lion!
> >>>
> >>> >>Not true!! Prove it, if you Can,sir.
> >>>
> >>> >You're just trying to start an argument, you old crab!
> >>>
> >>> Your logic escapes me. "Old crab" is rather nebulas.
> >>>
> >>> Go ahead, guys-get it all out in the Aires.
> >
> >I agree, you two goats should butt it out and put a Cap on the Corn.
> >
>
>
> Megan
ooo..ram that one in there, megan! nice to see megan arch 'er pun
muscle. gives a nice balance to the thread, don't you think?
--Kim (Aries, we'll be taking over soon)
pml
Megan Waves wrote:
>
> On Fri, 27 Jun 1997 18:21:27 -0700, pml <plav...@nh.ultranet.com>
> wrote:
>
> >James D. Davis wrote:
> >>
> >> Megan Waves (r...@netbistro.com) wrote:
> >> : On 24 Jun 1997 03:43:03 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug Russell)
> >> : wrote:
> >> :
> >> : >
> >> : >>> Yeah, I had stars in my eyes.
> >> : >
> >> : >>This thread is getting meteor and meteor.
> >> : >
> >> : >Yes, it could soon eclipse all others.
> >> :
> >> : When it reaches its zenith, will someone phone Ralph Nadir?
> >>
> >> Oh, I would, but I'm just a victim of apogee.
> >
>
> Because his moods are mercurial.
Io nly asked. Now, take me to your Leda.
pml
Shelley Levine wrote:
>
> On Thu, 03 Jul 1997 02:44:10 GMT, ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
>
> >On 1 Jul 1997 04:48:05 -0700, rus...@primenet.com (Doug Russell)
> >wrote:
> >
> >>But we have yet to mine the depths of our humor.
> >>Our puns are simply marbelous: a quarry, us.
> >
> >Then you'd like my new ELGIN watch. It's a real plum-it's great.
> >It's quartz. So don't take me for granite.
>
> Believe it ore not.
Was that an adit-orial comment?
Steve P.
>But we have yet to mine the depths of our humor.
>Our puns are simply marbelous: a quarry, us.
Then you'd like my new ELGIN watch. It's a real plum-it's great.
It's quartz. So don't take me for granite.
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes.
J.A. McCulloch
pml wrote:
>
> Shelley Levine wrote:
> >
> > On Thu, 03 Jul 1997 02:44:10 GMT, ste...@interport.net (Steve P.) wrote:
> >
> > >wrote:
> > >
> > >>But we have yet to mine the depths of our humor.
> > >>Our puns are simply marbelous: a quarry, us.
> > >
> > >Then you'd like my new ELGIN watch. It's a real plum-it's great.
> > >It's quartz. So don't take me for granite.
> >
>
> Was that an adit-orial comment?
No, just thinly veined humor. Catch my drift?
Matt Swanson
us the shaft.