Great Big Tim - all in one! - 2nd try.

[nemo]

----- Original Message -----
From: "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>
Newsgroups: alt.humor.puns,alt.humor,demon.local,mn.humor
Sent: Saturday, June 24, 2006 12:23 PM
Subject: 24 June Puns

Eden: A home on the Internet.

Purgetory: Eliminate Margaret Thacher from your hard drive.

Lucifer: Hair of the Devil.

Satan: The result of the Devil sunning himself.

Format: In favor of floor coverings.

Formatt: In favor of movie special effects.

Formula: In favor of money.

Subroutine: Done by an underwater computer.

Mauser: A knight gun that squeaks.

Doering: Ring worn by female deer.

Adoring: One door bell.

Adoring: A ring you love.

Lowering: Ring that makes things descend.

Rising: Levitating singing grain.

Blubbering: Cross-section through a whale.
Piker: 3.14 dogs.

Piking: 3.14 Kings.

Bahamas: Sheep terrorists in an island in the Caribbean.

Acuity: Tea that improves eyesight.

Adoring: One ring that acts as a portal.

Avidity: Tea that increases curiosity or cuio-city.

Avow: One oath.

Awing: One wing.

Tamer: Domesticated ocean.

Taming: Domesticated Chinese vase.

Tanking: King of military combat vehicles.

Tantrum: Drum that's been sunbathing.

Taring: Ring of road material.

Kneading: Bread making bell.

Renting: To borrow a bell.

Rusting: Iron oxide bell.

Scalping: Musical hair.

Shooting: Gun bell.

Shorting: Bell small in height.

Shorting: Shocking bell.

Snorting: Sleeping bell.

Spotting: Musical little dots.

Sporting: Games bell.

Targeting: Artillery bell.

Venting: Ventilation bell.

Westinghouse: Bell house in the Wild West.

Overwhelming: Mass attack vase.

Ramming: Male sheep vase.

Reaming: Vase with lots of paper.

Seeming: Ocean going vase.

Seeming: Between Beaming and Deeming.

Skimming: Low fat vase.

Sliming: Yucky vase.

Teaming: Vase with a beverage. Goes with Creaming.

Timing: Thai vase.

Timing: Neckwear vase.

Certificate: An authentic knight.

Conduct: Electrical waterfowl.

Conduct: Against ducks or pipes.

Deduct: 4th waterfowl in the alphabet.

Reduct: To quack again.

Overload: The higher part of a mine.

Irrelevant: Having nothing to do with a pachyderm's auditory organs.

Impeccable: Resistant to birds' beaks.

Sincere: One who can discern misbehavior.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41EE69A4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41EB74A3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Typo: A kind of blood.
> > > >
> > > > Blood Vessel: Vampire ship.
> > > >
> > > > Blood Bank: Where vampires store money and blood.
> > > >
> > > > Blood Shed: Where vampires keep their tools.
> > > >
> > > > Blood Letter: What vampires write.
> > >
> > > The answers to that one are leechion!
> >
> > Leeching in the wind?
> >
> Untruthful fromage: Lie Cheese.

Truth telling flowers: Lie Lacks.

Jenni Saqua wrote:

> Did you see they brought back "America's Next Top Model"?
> They must be so confident we won't Tyra this show, they're taking it
to the
> Banks.

Will we Cindy?

Cindy: A female demon who violates the 10 Commandments.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4189AF4E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41870B1C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > So then, Larry Krzewinski turns to the guy and says:
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>>>>>>>>You mean 20 years old with hair and without Doreen? No
can
> do.
> > > > >>>>>>>>Doreen has hair. It's just not obvious with all the
curlers.
> > > > >>>>>>>For your sake I hope that you're talking about the hair
on her
> > > head!
> > > > >>>>>>Of course! Now, the curler iron, well that's a different
story.
> > > > >>>>>>I'll never let myself run out of Viagra again!
> > > > >>>>>Weren't you even a little curious when Doreen asked for
that
> > > vibrating
> > > > >>>>>curling iron for Christmas?
> > > > >>>>She told me it would improve her head.
> > > > >>>Orally?
> > > > >>O'Really!
> > > > >>(Her roommate Aura Lee was Irish)
> > > > >
> > > > >See, my post was supposed to taken as ambiguously as possible.
I
> > > > >guess that you can't win 'em all.
> > > >
> > > > Posting: After the bell.
> > > >
> > > > Posting: Mailed bell.
> > > >
> > > > Posting: Bell on the Internet.
> > > >
> > > > Watcher: Knight of security.
> > >
> > > Cross-post: Angry poison-pen letters.
> >
> > Piston: 2,000 pounds of urine.
> >
> Car Biretta: Worn by a priest when he's driving.

Carbon: Automotive pastry.

"Frank A. Rosenbaum" wrote:

> "J. A. Mc." <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> news:150jo0hcch6u84oih...@4ax.com...
> > On Wed, 3 Nov 2004 16:51:22 -0500, "Frank A. Rosenbaum"
> > <faros...@charter.net> found these unused words floating about:
> >
> >>
> >>"Greg Evans" <mis...@larkbooks.com> wrote in message
> >>news:2usr9fF...@uni-berlin.de...
> >>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >>>> On Wed, 3 Nov 2004 06:30:51 -0500, "Frank A. Rosenbaum"
> >>>>> "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" <tonworth...@SexMagnet.com>
wrote in
> >>>>>> Then "Frank A. Rosenbaum" says:
> >>>>>>> "Greg Evans" <mis...@larkbooks.com> wrote in message
> >>>>>>> news:2unehsF...@uni-berlin.de...
> >>>>>>>> Frank A. Rosenbaum wrote:
> >>>>>>>>> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> >>>>>>>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
message
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>>>>> Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
> >>>>>>>>>>> To draw the curtains.
> >>>>>>>>>> If he had though himself to actually be the curtains, he
should
> >>>>>>>>>> have pulled himself together!
> >>>>>>>>> He did, but he draped himself over the bed. By the way, the
mans
> >>>>>>>>> name is Rod.
> >>>>>>>> Did it comforter him to do that, or was it a result of some
sort
> >>>>>>>> of ambi-valence about his purpose in life?
> >>>>>>> Well, Sheet, Greg, Ya gotta ask Rod. I was blind when he did
it.
> >>>>>>> Don't forget to take your pill, Oh, also don't forget your
inhaler
> >>>>>>> either.
> >>>>>> Do you two have a room? I'm hearing shades of a one nightstand.

> >>>>> No, we don't. He wanted to roller in the hay, but I told him
that I
> >>>>> wasn't pulled that way.
> >>>>
> >>>> You prefer feathers ... ???
> >>>
> >>> Not sure I'm willing to take that thought any feather.... Call it
a
> >>> draw?
> >>
> >>If you want to feather bed, go ahead. I don't give a flock.
> >>
> >>"Birds of a flock, feather together".
> >>
> > What goose down here ... <G>
>
> When my family moved to Michigan, we were Michibeginners. Then there
are
> Michiganders, Michigeese, and Michigoslings.

Begun: Projectile weapon used by an apine.

Beagle: Sea bird that buzzes and makes honey.

"Frank A. Rosenbaum" wrote:

> "Greg Evans" <mis...@larkbooks.com> wrote in message
> news:2usr9fF...@uni-berlin.de...
> > J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >> On Wed, 3 Nov 2004 06:30:51 -0500, "Frank A. Rosenbaum"
> >>> "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" <tonworth...@SexMagnet.com> wrote
in
> >>>> Then "Frank A. Rosenbaum" says:
> >>>>> "Greg Evans" <mis...@larkbooks.com> wrote in message
> >>>>> news:2unehsF...@uni-berlin.de...
> >>>>>> Frank A. Rosenbaum wrote:
> >>>>>>> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> >>>>>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >>>>>
> >>>>>>>>> Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
> >>>>>>>>> To draw the curtains.
> >>>>>>>> If he had though himself to actually be the curtains, he
should
> >>>>>>>> have pulled himself together!
> >>>>>>> He did, but he draped himself over the bed. By the way, the
mans
> >>>>>>> name is Rod.
> >>>>>> Did it comforter him to do that, or was it a result of some
sort
> >>>>>> of ambi-valence about his purpose in life?
> >>>>> Well, Sheet, Greg, Ya gotta ask Rod. I was blind when he did it.

> >>>>> Don't forget to take your pill, Oh, also don't forget your
inhaler
> >>>>> either.
> >>>> Do you two have a room? I'm hearing shades of a one nightstand.
> >>> No, we don't. He wanted to roller in the hay, but I told him that
I
> >>> wasn't pulled that way.
> >>
> >> You prefer feathers ... ???
> >
> > Not sure I'm willing to take that thought any feather.... Call it a
draw?
>
> If you want to feather bed, go ahead. I don't give a flock.
>
> "Birds of a flock, feather together".

Flocking: Flying male monarchs.

Oinking: Porcine male monarch.

Barking: Alcoholic male monarch, or dog male monarch, or male monarch in
jail, or a male monarch lawyer.

Kathy wrote:

> "ynotssor" <"ynotssor"> wrote in message
> news:3fae7...@corp.newsgroups.com...
> > "Buffalo Chilkat" <mam...@watering.hole> wrote in message
> > news:h6tsqv4to30atn26o...@4ax.com
> >
> > > Organic farming - growing crops in Oregon.
> >
> > Organic farming - harvesting organasms.
> >
> Organic farming - harvesting organs.

Shades of Larry Niven!

Bootlegger: One who fits legs to boots.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42AD2E3D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4152C245...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Quadrant: 4 ants.
> > > >
> > > > Tenant: 10 ants.
> > > >
> > > > Tridant: 3 ants.
> > > >
> > > > Truant: A truly tardy ant.
> > >
> > > Latant: A tardy ant lying doggo hoping no-one will notice.
> > >
> > > Antidisestablishmentarianism: The longest ant in the English
> language.
> > >
> > > Antibody: Personal infestation by FormicidALT+0230, sorry,
> Formicidæ.
> > >
> > > Anti-american: A Yank with such an infestation.
> > >
> > > Antichrist: An alleged messiah with such an infestation.
> > >
> > > Antimony: Support paid in highly toxic metal coins by one
> Formicidic
> spouse
> > > to another after they are separated.
> >
> > Antitank: Military vehicle with above infestation.
> >
> > Antiplane: Plane with that infestation.
> >
> > Antimissile: Rocket with said infestation.
>
> Hittile: Rocket that succeeds in blowing up the target more often.

Hittile: Ancient floor covering.
Format: In favor of floor coverings.

Forum: In favor of Bircardi.

Proceed: In favor of farming.

Procreate: Against evolution.

Profound: We found an expert!

Propane: In favor of torture.

Propane: In favor of windows.

Prorate: In favor of movie rating systems.

Farming: Far away rural Chinese vase.

Framing: Picture vase.
Ann Nex: Woman who seeks to conquer.

Asking: King of backsides.

Awaking: King of Travel Agents.

Banking: Explosives expert.

Biking: A gay monarch.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42AC18F3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote in message
> > > news:WKudnXCrnKN...@pcisys.net...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "fubwat" <fub...@fubwat.karoo.co.uk> wrote in message
> > > > news:zxGdnafWYI5...@karoo.co.uk
> > > > > "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote in message
> > > > > news:M-GdnakjV9r...@pcisys.net...
> > > > >>
> > > > >>
> > > > >> "fubwat" <fub...@fubwat.karoo.co.uk> wrote in message
> > > > >> news:8FCdncNCU8l...@karoo.co.uk
> > > > >>> "Mel" <m...@atj.faq.com> wrote in message
> > > > >>> news:6l7n21hctbnme1spt...@4ax.com...
> > > > >>>> On Sun, 06 Mar 2005 17:02:38 GMT, "Douglas D. Anderson"
> > > > >>>> <d...@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
> > > > >>>> <OIGWd.60246$vK5....@twister.nyroc.rr.com>:
> > > > >>>>>"Mel" <m...@atj.faq.com> wrote
> > > > >>>>>No doubt you'll have to look up what the natives
> > > > >>>>>of South Africa ate _before_ maize was brought back
> > > > >>>>>there. Probable some ugly
> > > > >>>>>looking tubers and grubs.
> > > > >>>>
> > > > >>>> they ate cattle, idiot.
> > > > >>>>
> > > > >>>> --
> > > > >>>> smash yer modem, reboot, kill yerself
> > > > >>>> Mel the Defiler
> > > > >>>> member, ATJ regs
> > > > >>>> webmaster of ABIGFAG.com
> > > > >>>> http://www.atjfaq.com/
> > > > >>>
> > > > >>> Thought you were dead
> > > > >>
> > > > >> Naw, he just don't bathe too often.
> > > > > Are you measuring often in decades?
> > > >
> > > > The clueless twat is about 37, so logic
> > > > would say he's had one so far in his life.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > Ugly-looking tubers and grubs? Yeah! ATJ is full of 'em!
> > >
> > > Odin yet?
> > > Norse not!
> >
> > Odin: Loud letter between N and P.
>
> LOL!
>
> Wotan: Sadness while sunbathing.

Tansy: Sunbathing ocean.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42ABCCB0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Constable: Against horse stalls.
> >
> > Constable: Against the bulls staying.
> >
> > Damnation: Country of horse mothers.
> >
> > Mareination: Country of female horses.
>
> or what an extreme bigamist tries to do!

Bigamist: Fog with two wives.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42AC1BF0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Q: What's that guy doing jumping up and down in the corner using
> extremely
> > > bad language.
> > > A: That's swored dancing.
> > >
> > > Q: Who's that jumping up and down on top of a very old British
car.
> > > A: That's Morris dancing.
> > >
> > > Q: What's that map of England doing jumping up and down for?
> > > A: That's Country Dancing.
> > >
> > > Q: Who's that jumping up and down in the corner with no clothes
on?
> > > A: It's Simon Smith and He's Dancing Bare.
> > >
> > > Q: What's that guy doing jumping up and down with all his arms and
legs
> in
> > > plaster.
> > > A: Break Dancing.
> > >
> > > I was going to do one about Ballet as well, but it was just tutu
> difficult!
> >
> > Q: What is that armed man with combat fatigues doing jumping?
>
> You forgot " . . while massacring helpless peasants on isolated
farmsteads
> while being supported by the CIA"!!

CIA: Ocean of spies.

Pluto: Very cold canine foot digits.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:433F03FD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:42A7EC1C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message

> > > > > news:4232784A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Jenni Saqua wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > "Michael Balarama" originally wrote ...
> > > > > > > > at church two people from the electric company sat next
to
> me..was
> > > a
> > > > > > > > shocking experience...nearly blew a fuse.
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > >
> > > > > > > However, one later told me *he* was amazed at the power of
your
> awe,
> > > > > mighty!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > How stimulating!
> > > > >
> > > > > Operation Ore: A Savage attack on Iraq's pædophiles!
> > > >
> > > > Or an attack against boat paddles.
> > > >
> > > Oar knot! - Something achieved by Popeye after a large tin of
spinach.
> >
> > Popeye: Father of a seeing organ.
>
> Bluto: Big bullying Ancient Briton who used to just dip his foot-digit
in
> because he knew it was dangerous to stand in the middle of the woad.

Pluto: Very cold canine foot digit at the edge of the solar system.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:408BD9D9...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> >
> > > My dog does not like Cage.
> >
> > Composer: Electronic musical knight.
> >
> Does he Offenbach?

Women should Bee Wear of men who want to get them on their Bach!

Trifle: Little rifle.

"Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" wrote:

> Then "Frank A. Rosenbaum" says:
> >> Then "Frank A. Rosenbaum" says:
> >>>"Greg Evans" <mis...@larkbooks.com> wrote in message
> >>>>> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> >>>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >
> >>>>>>> Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
> >>>>>>> To draw the curtains.
> >>>>>> If he had though himself to actually be the curtains, he should
have
> >>>>>> pulled himself together!
> >>>>> He did, but he draped himself over the bed. By the way, the mans
name
> >>>>> is Rod.
> >>>> Did it comforter him to do that, or was it a result of some sort
of
> >>>> ambi-valence about his purpose in life?
> >>>Well, Sheet, Greg, Ya gotta ask Rod. I was blind when he did it.
Don't
> >>>forget to take your pill, Oh, also don't forget your inhaler
either.
> >> Do you two have a room? I'm hearing shades of a one nightstand.
> >
> >No, we don't. He wanted to roller in the hay, but I told him that I
wasn't
> >pulled that way.
>
> I guess he missed his window of opportunity to see the light.

Lighting: Low mass bell.

Opportunity: Tea that knocks.
Then "Mos" says:
>Larry Krzewinski wrote:
>> On 3 Nov 2004 00:36:15 -0600, "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I"
>> <tonworth...@SexMagnet.com> wrote:
>>
>>>>>>>> Alan, where have you been hiding? You haven't posted much
>>>>>>>> lately.
>>>>>>>
>>>>>>> Living the life that I do have outside Usenet. You should look
>>>>>>> for one, too.
>>>>>>
>>>>>> Don't mention your life outside of Usenet! Last time all the
>>>>>> rocking, howling and head-banging almost tipped the bus over!
>>>>>
>>>>> Yeah. I still have a headache from it.
>>>>
>>>> Be glad the bus was short. If it had been a long
>>>> bus, the bonk on the head would make the ache
>>>> last longer.
>>>
>>> Is that the long and the short of it? I mean about Larry?
>>
>> Hey, Mos is the one who thinks that he's Longfellow.
>
>I can supply about 30 witnesses.

For sex?:)

Acing: One song.

Agonize: Aching eyes.

Agony: Aching knee.

Ailing: Baby ale.

Amply: Electric Korean.

Cogency: Smart ocean.

Cogently: Smart Korean.

Convey: Against veys.

Cowling: Baby cow.

Cowing: Flying cow.

Dialyze: To telephone seeing organs.

Dimly: Dumb or dark Korean.

Dinghy: Noisy boat.

Dinky: Key to loud noises.

Direly: Korean in trouble.

Agronomist: Fog on the farm.

Aroma: Mother of scents.

Damper: Price of a mother deer or water barrier.

Dampest: Creature that bothers the above.

Damping: Musical mother deer or water barrier.

Dammit: Glove of same.

Mercantile: Floor coverings of businesses.

Observant: Ant that finds things.

Oviod: Lack of the letter O.

Permute: Price of silence.

Pertest: Price of an exam.

Greg Evans wrote:

> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > On Wed, 3 Nov 2004 06:30:51 -0500, "Frank A. Rosenbaum"
> >> "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" <tonworth...@SexMagnet.com> wrote
> >> in
> >>> Then "Frank A. Rosenbaum" says:
> >>>> "Greg Evans" <mis...@larkbooks.com> wrote in message
> >>>> news:2unehsF...@uni-berlin.de...
> >>>>> Frank A. Rosenbaum wrote:
> >>>>>> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> >>>>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> >>>>
> >>>>>>>> Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
> >>>>>>>> To draw the curtains.
> >>>>>>> If he had though himself to actually be the curtains, he
> >>>>>>> should
> >>>>>>> have pulled himself together!
> >>>>>> He did, but he draped himself over the bed. By the way, the
> >>>>>> mans
> >>>>>> name is Rod.
> >>>>> Did it comforter him to do that, or was it a result of some sort
> >>>>> of ambi-valence about his purpose in life?
> >>>> Well, Sheet, Greg, Ya gotta ask Rod. I was blind when he did it.
> >>>> Don't forget to take your pill, Oh, also don't forget your
> >>>> inhaler
> >>>> either.
> >>> Do you two have a room? I'm hearing shades of a one nightstand.
> >> No, we don't. He wanted to roller in the hay, but I told him that I
> >> wasn't pulled that way.
> >
> > You prefer feathers ... ???
>
> Not sure I'm willing to take that thought any feather.... Call it a
> draw?

Pillow: Medicine on the ground.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:419EFF83...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41265CE7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > mike wheeEler wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > In article <3FB4193B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > > > > tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at the
> world
> > > oddly when:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >Eden: A home on the Internet.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > Purgetory: grid rid of those british polly ticks from your
> hardrive..
> > > > >
> > > > > Lucifer: Hair of the Devil.
> > > >
> > > > Helmet: Hat of the Devil
> > >
> > > Lucifer: Secret code you have to punch in to get the lavatory door to
> open.
> >
> > Aquifer: Watery hair.
> >
> > Cipher: Coded hair.
> >
> > Conifer: Hairy tree.
>
> Cipher on a conifer: Bark Code!

Heifer: Hair on a dairy cow.

Whiffer: Smelly hair.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4189AF28...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41870AE5...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4039B5AF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Holo: A popular prostitute position.:)
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Hologram: A picture of same.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Hologram: Message from a low prostitute.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Hologram: Lighter than a Holopound.
> > > > >
> > > > > Holocopter: Rotary-wing aircraft with no-one inside.
> > > > >
> > > > > Holon a minute! There's no need to gush, Dan!!
> > > >
> > > > Boinking: King of sex.
> > > >
> > > > Conking: King of falling asleep.
> > > >
> > > > No Bell Prize: Awarded to a school whose bell didn't ring.
> > >
> > > Hologram: Same as a telegram, except it's read to you over the
phone
> with
> > > lots of reverberation and echo.
> > >
> > > Conker: Someone agreeing about a chestnut.
> >
> > Conker: Against dogs.
> >
> I'll let that one Rotweiller nother pun forms in my mind!

Curtest: Dog exam.

Curvet: Dog in the army.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:422C3A46...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4229672E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:40307A11...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Comcast: Computerized actors.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Steelcast: Robot actors such as The Terminator.
> > > > >
> > > > > Arnie playing a gardener: The Germinator.
> > > >
> > > > Also Arnold playing a doctor.
> > >
> > > Or also, Arnold playing a bottle of Dettol.
> >
> > Arnold preaching: The Sermonator.
> >
> Arnold carrying out castrations: The Desemenator! (>!<)

Arnold building a dam: The Berminator.

Michael Balarama wrote:

> Q. Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party?
>
> A. He had no body to dance with.

He should go on the Ghost to Ghost express.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:422C396A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4229669C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > Musical bed things: Bedding, Sheeting, and Quilting.
> > > >
> > > > Pillowing: Where sleeping birds put their heads.
> > >
> > > Killing a bed: Matricide!
> >
> > Killing a waste disposal system: Sewer-cide!
> >
> . . or a canal: Suezcide.
>
> Ceticide: Killing a piece of EEC farmland that's temporarliy out of use
due
> to overproduction. Sodium Chlorate should do it!
>
> http://www.legislation.hmso.gov.uk/si/si1988/Uksi_19881352_en_5.htm
>
> Copicide: Killing a police officer in a small clump of trees.
> Scabicide: Killing a strike-breaker.
> Silicide: Killing a clown.
>
> Verbicide: What we all do on here all the time!!
>
> And nobody mention nematicide!

Siding: To kill a bell.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4189B2E8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > "Frank A. Rosenbaum" wrote:
> >
> > > "Michael Balarama" <mba...@ev1.net> wrote in message
> > > news:10ktmib...@corp.supernews.com...
> > > > at church two people from the electric company sat next to me..was a
> > > > shocking experience...nearly blew a fuse.
> > >
> > > I presume that they volted as soon as the service was over and went
ohm.
> >
> > Re-Volt!
>
> Electrician called Stanislav: Pole Volt.

Pole Volt: Electric Santa Claus at the Summer Olympics.

Summer: All the seas added up.

Summit: All the gloves added up.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:419EFF83...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41265CE7...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > mike wheeEler wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > In article <3FB4193B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > > > > tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at the
> world
> > > oddly when:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >Eden: A home on the Internet.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > Purgetory: grid rid of those british polly ticks from your
> hardrive..
> > > > >
> > > > > Lucifer: Hair of the Devil.
> > > >
> > > > Helmet: Hat of the Devil
> > >
> > > Lucifer: Secret code you have to punch in to get the lavatory door to
> open.
> >
> > Aquifer: Watery hair.
> >
> > Cipher: Coded hair.
> >
> > Conifer: Hairy tree.
>
> Cipher on a conifer: Bark Code!

Safer: Hair on a vault.

Tougher: Hardened hair.

Mos wrote:

> Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > On 3 Nov 2004 13:03:06 -0600, "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I"
> > <tonworth...@SexMagnet.com> wrote:
> >
> >>>>>>>>> Alan, where have you been hiding? You haven't posted much
> >>>>>>>>> lately.
> >>>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>> Living the life that I do have outside Usenet. You should
look
> >>>>>>>> for one, too.
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> Don't mention your life outside of Usenet! Last time all the
> >>>>>>> rocking, howling and head-banging almost tipped the bus over!
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Yeah. I still have a headache from it.
> >>>>>
> >>>>> Be glad the bus was short. If it had been a long
> >>>>> bus, the bonk on the head would make the ache
> >>>>> last longer.
> >>>>
> >>>> Is that the long and the short of it? I mean about Larry?
> >>>
> >>> He should be along shortly to comment on the
> >>> size of things.
> >>
> >> You can size him up, and not report your findings.
> >
> > Wait a minute!!! Don't you go volunteering me, Milt!
>
> And why not ? Seems you often volunteer me
> for lots of things and I ain't in your army.

Arming: Our Chinese vase with weapons.

"Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" wrote:

> Then "Mos" says:
> >Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >
> >>>>
> >>>> Hey, Mos is the one who thinks that he's Longfellow.
> >>>
> >>> I can supply about 30 witnesses.
> >>
> >> Shoe salesmen don't count.
> >
> >Then how do they know there are two shoes
> >in a box ?
>
> They keep winding it and see how many pop out?

How does a shoe pop?

Shooting: Musical footwear used by the infamous shoe bomber!

Dicker: Dog penis.

Dicker: Bargaining dog.

Lurker: Dog who reads but doesn't post in the Internet.

Occur: Fat dog.

Precur: Before the dog.
Congest: A prisoner who likes to tell jokes.

Conquest: In search of an escaped prisoner.

Digest: To color the hair of a clown.

Enfield (district of London): Place to keep free-range chickens.

Editor: Whacks newspaper employees on the bonce if they stop working.

Empathy: Disease caught from the 13th. letter of the alphabet.

Stroking: Golf master.

Remanded: Man dies again.
nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:404A1F55...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40493EEE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Flooring: A ring down there.
> > >
> > > Podlogger: Yiddisher lumberjack with big feet.
> >
> > Conjuring: Ring that can teleport anything.
> >
> Teleport: Embarkation and dismbarkation point for TV sets.

Teleport: Far away wine.

Report: To drink wine again.

Comport: Wine on the Internet.

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> On Fri, 30 Apr 2004 22:05:00 GMT, mael...@eunet.at (Elisabeth Müller)
> wrote:
>
> >>>> That's because you kept jamming yourself in between me and my
girlfriend!
> >>>> There's such a thing as etiquette, ya know; you could have just
tapped me
> >>>on
> >>>> the shoulder and asked, "May I cut in?"!
> >>>
> >>>Isn't that Elisabeth's line?
> >>
> >>Lizzie is a wicked line dancer. You ought to see her ride that
> >>mechanical bull!
> >
> >Mechanical is for sissies.
>
> Someone ran out of batteries for herr vibrator *again*!

Vibrate Ting: Shaking Chinese.

"fredm...@the.PC Z" wrote:

> ne...@naughtylass2.wet (nemo) wrote :
>
> >Pan head: Screw used to hold handles onto cooking utensils. Cheese
> head: Screw that holds mousetraps together. Countersunk: Used in flooded
> shops. Round head: Screw that holds Oliver Cromwell together. Instrument
> head: Holds the keywork on saxophones together.
>
> >Nemo
> >(Anyone noticed that he's got the colour scheme of a Clown Fish?)
>
> > Shit head : Screw used to prevent back sides from opening at
> inopportune times.
>
> Phillips' Head : Ornamental British screw, used solely by QE2.
>
> Pot Head : Screw with missing threads that usually turns into a...
>
> Dead Head : Totally useless screw, before and after Jerry Garcia's
> death.
>
> Fred's Head : Loose screw, used solely for entertainment purposes.

Lettuce Head to the vegetable isle!

Head of cattle: Moo screw.

"fredm...@the.PC" wrote:

> "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
news:<3fadb00b$0$9606$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au>...
> > nemo wrote:
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3FAC9C47...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > >>
> > >>
> > >> Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> > >>
> > >>> Do plumbers have pipe dreams?
> > >>
> > >> Or do they have wet dreams?
> > >
> > > Depends on the size of their cock, pet.
> >
> > Ah, your dick shone here..it was superb!
>
> Yes, his is a big Dick show, n' hairy !

Tricky Dick.

ABC: Ocean of letters.

AC: Electrical ocean.

Artsy: Ocean of paintings, statutes, compositions, poems, books, etc.

BC: Apine ocean in the past.

Betsy: An ocean casino.

Jerking: Obnoxious king.

Jerking: Masterbation king. Brother of Yanking and Wanking.

Masking: King of many faces.

Pecking: King who pokes holes in wood.

Pecking: King of sex.

Surcharge: A knight on credit.

Surcharge: Surfing the waves on a credit card.

Surcharge: An electrical knight.

Surcharge: A knight on credit.

Surcharge: A night on credit. (either a hotel or a hooker on your VISA
card).

Surcharge: Surfing off the California coast on a credit card.

Amuser: One poet knight.

Bemuser: Buzzing insect poet knight.

Reverser: Backwards knight.

Drawkcab: Taxi that goes in reverse.

Arrester: Spinning cop.

Aster: Spinning flower.

Asster: Spinning donkey.

Baster: Spinning kitchen tool.

Blaster: Spinning ray gun.

Caster: Spinning actors.

Disaster: Spinning catastrophe..

Easter: Mixing bowl sold on the Internet.

Easter: Computerized Mixing bowl.

Easter: Spinning religious holiday.

nemo wrote:

> Douglas D. Anderson <d...@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
> news:by4Xd.61358$vK5....@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
> >
> > "nemo" <ne...@newtylust.nit> wrote
> > >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote
> > > > Blood Ding: Chinese vampire.
> > > >
> > > > Fade Ding: Chinese growing fainter.
> > > >
> > > > Faint Ting: Chinese becoming unconscious.
> > > >
> > > > Indict Ting: Chinese grand jury.
> > > >
> > > > Loot Ting: Chinese thieves.
> > > >
> > > > Loo Ting: Chinese toilet maker.
> > >
> > > In Waa Tiym you can get shot for Loo Ting!
> > >
> > Kong Fu: martial art for large apes.
> >
> I'm not a kungfumer of such things.

Frumer: Not many oceans.

nemo wrote:

Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:4018946C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> Concave: Against spelunking.

Meniscus: Emmanuel's favourite swear-word.
>
> Content: Against camping.

Confusion: Hates energy from the Sun.
>
> Contrail: Against hiking.
>
> Contour: Against French bicycle races.

Contempt: Against prick-teasers.
>
> Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
>
> Protect: Favoring innovation.

Probably: In favour of Champagne! :o}... . . . .
.

Invented by a monk called Dumpy Rignion, coz he had short, fat
kidneys!

Kidney: Knee of a tyke.

Sheila Dundee wrote:

> Gillian V wrote:
> > With her peaches complexion and cherry lips, she was ripe for the
> > picking.
>
> Was she a core us girl?

Fruity: Sea of fruits.

Advent: We need more ventilation.

Advent: Insert angry rant.

Adverse: Add a song.

Adverse: Singing comercial.

Convent: Against angry rants.

Convent: A ranting criminal.

Converse: Against singing.

Contract: Against railroads.

Enginuity: A locomotive driver's pension.

Adverse: A hostile song.

Adversity: A hostile city.

Converse: Singing criminal(s).

Reverse: To sing again.

Attract: What a train runs on.

Contract: Criminal railroad.

Retract: To go on the train again.

Subtract: What subway trains run on.

Subtract: A train underwater.

Proclaim: In favor of gold stakes.

Staking: King of beef.

Contribute: Against paying dues to an empire.

Contributory: Against river offshoots in the British Conservative Party.

Party: Stimulating beverage on the golf course.

Rocker: Stone dog.

Rocker: Big brid dog.

Sicker: Unwell dog.

Slacker: Lazy dog.

Slicker: Slippery dog.

Smoker: Burning dog.

Smoker: Cigarette puffing dog.

Asker: Dog-donkey.

Backer: Dog behind.

Cracker: Crazy dog.

Cracker: Dog biscuit.

Laker: Dog in big body of water.

Laker: Basketball dog.

nemo wrote:

> Cyberbilly <goo...@cyberbilly.net> wrote in message
> news:1109854555.5...@o13g2000cwo.googlegroups.com...
> > YOUR PUNS SUCK!
> >
> > TELL SOME REAL JOKES!
> >
>
> An abstract can't create a vacuum!
>
> Hoover could. Dyson can, but an abstract can't!

Dyson: To color a male kid.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4226CEA6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4224341A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:41D90278...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Compress: Computer newspaper.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Depress: Sad newspaper.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Express: Failed paper.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Oppress, Repress, and Suppress: Newspapers that follow the
party
> line.
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Presley: Korean newspaper.
> > > > > >
> > > > > Elvish Presley: Musical Lord of the Rings newspaper.
> > > >
> > > > Elfish: L-shaped sea animal eaten by elves and hobbits.
> > > >
> > > Hobbits: Very naughty Japanese pictures with the ocean missing.
> >
> > Why is the female ocean singing?
> >
>
> She's happy coz she's just got a grant from the charity Merm Aid.

Run by Mer Cy.

Emitters: Gloves that send radio or TV signals.

Eremitism: Ideology of gloves living alone.

Hermit: Glove of a woman who lives alone.

Nimbus: Rainy bus.

Omibus: Bus that goes everywhere.

Unibus: Bus that brings people together.

"Frank A. Rosenbaum" wrote:

> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> news:yS4id.22738$Bk6....@fe2.news.blueyonder.co.uk...
> >
> > Frank A. Rosenbaum <faros...@charter.net> wrote in message
> > news:10ohg85...@corp.supernews.com...
> >>
> >> "J. A. Mc." <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> >> news:0rifo09p0heapvueg...@4ax.com...
> >> > On Tue, 02 Nov 2004 08:39:29 -0600, Dr Tormento
<re...@togroup.com>
> > found
> >> > these unused words floating about:
> >> >
> >> >>"Michael Balarama" <mba...@ev1.net> wrote in
> >> >>news:10of68i...@corp.supernews.com:
> >> >>
> >> >>> I walked into a coffee shop on Halloween to find the woman
> >> >>> behind the counter with a bunch of sponges pinned to her
> >> >>> uniform.
> >> >>>
> >> >>> "I'm assuming this is a costume, but just what are you
> >> >>> supposed to be?" I asked.
> >> >>>
> >> >>> The waitress responded proudly, "I'm self-absorbed."
> >> >>
> >> >>
> >> >> Is this funny? Depends.
> >> >
> >> > Timmette has a Bounty of these ...
> >>
> >> Yeah, he's a real Brawny lad.
> >>
> > He's responsible for the dreaded yEnc too???
> >
>
> I had an Enc-ing feeling you would decode my message.

Decode: Secret demon.

Decold: Chilly demon.

Larry Krzewinski wrote:

> On Tue, 04 May 2004 08:50:15 -0700, J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com>
> wrote:
>
> >>>>>>>>>>> She doesn't post.
> >>>>>>>>>> She can't reach the letter box?
> >>>>>>>>> No, she has trouble with her Power On Self Test.
> >>>>>>>> Sound like she's lost her drive.
> >>>>>>> See MOS start up
> >>>>>>> Check some errors
> >>>>>> If that was bait, it was lame.
> >>>>> Should I give it the boot?
> >>>> Maybe you need to reset your expectations.
> >>> Can I take the bus to get there?
> >> USB a greenie not to have a car.
>
> I lost the USB keys and would have to firewire it.

USB: Apines from the United States!

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41870106...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41822E72...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > mike wheeEler wrote:
> > > > >
> > > > > > In article <3F8B9EAF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>,
> > > > > > tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us, Tim Bruening was looking at
the
> world
> > > oddly when:
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >Conversion: A variant of criminal.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > Conversion.. Air freshener ions emitted by old Converse
tennis
> shoes..
> > > > >
> > > > > Micro: Not your crow.
> > > >
> > > > Decibel: One tenth of a bell.
> > >
> > > That's right, except it's Bel, hence the abbrevaition dB.
> > >
> > > It could be one tenth of the Babylonian god of the earth but
that'd be
> too
> > > silly!
> > >
> > > Oh, I don't know though.
> >
> > Acidosis: Sister of an acid female deer.
> >
> > Armada: Father of a fleet of battle ships.
>
> Sir Francis Drake to Phillip II: Armada than you, sunshine!!

Mumble: Silent female bovines with kids.

Sentence: 10 pennies in jail.

Tartest: Road material exam (X-am).

Tasting: D-Licious bell.

Tasty: D-Licious tea.

Trammer: Ocean of mass transit vehicles.

Tramming: Chinese vase of mass transit vehicles.

Ozzie: Australian zombie.

Macy: A shopping mall in the ocean.

JC Penny: A 1 cent shopping mall in the ocean.

Gottchalks: A question for a teacher shopping for classroom supplies.

Averting: Bell that avoids disaster.

Biting: Toothy bell.

Biting: Purchase a bell.

Bursting: Over full bell.

Busting: Mass transit bell.

Concomitant: Against electronic ant gloves.

Concomitant: Criminal electronic ant gloves.

Consensus: Against tallies of populations.

Opalescent: A jewel of a penny.

Sextant: Ant on Viagra.

Omnipresent: A penny that's everywhere.

Subsume: Underwater math.
Honda, Mazda: Fathers of automobiles.
Forking: In favor of a monarchy.

Forking: King #4.

Forker: In favor of canines.

Forker: Dog #4.

Forebear: In favor of ursines.

Forehead: In favor of oral sex.

Forearm: In favor of guns.

Foreman: In favor of humanity.

Foresee: In favor of oceans.

Gawker: Tourist dog.

Kayacker: Dog with oars.

Knocker: A door to door salesdog.

Panicker: Frightened dog.

Picnicker: Dog out for fun in the sun.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4067D7E3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:406645A3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Camper: Vacation price.
> > > >
> > > > Camping: Vacationing bell.
> > > >
> > > > Console: Against shoes.
> > > >
> > > > EV: Electronic voting.
> > > >
> > > > Expense: Former British money.
> > > >
> > > > Extent: Former temporary housing for campers.
> > > >
> > > > Fiendish: Meal of monsters.
> > > >
> > > > Fencer: Boundary knight.
> > > >
> > > > Industry: Tree that grows all sorts of products, such as cars,
> > > > furniture, appliances, etc.
> > > >
> > > > Pacer: Knight walking back and forth.
> > > >
> > > > Placer: Knight staying put.
> > > >
> > > > Prophase: In favor of phasers.
> > >
> > > Propane: VD or cystitis!
> >
> > Propane: Professional torturer.
> >
> Counterpane: Sore feet from serving in a shop all day - also known as
> counterfeit.

Malleable: Very flexible bull in a shopping center.
Picker: Dog harvesting crops.

Staker: Barky the Dog Vampire Slayer.

Stalker: A procrastinating dog.

Starker: Famous dog actor.

Stoker: Dog tending a fire.
Lurker: Dog who reads but doesn't post in the Internet.

Planker: Wooden dog.

Smacker: Dog who slaps people.

Snacker: Dog who eats a lot.

Sneaker: Shoe dog.

Sneaker: Dog who's good at not being seen.
JC: Penny: Ocean of one cent clothing.

Krypton: Heavy secret.

MC: Ocean of masters of ceremonies.

NBC: Another TV ocean.

PC: Ocean of computers or urine.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41E60EC9...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Infantry: Militaristic baby tree.
> >
> > Adultery: Wandering grown up tree.
> >
> > Client: A needy ant.
> >
> > Dependent: Another needy ant.
> >
> > Defendant: Ant on trial.
>
> Narr. I tole dew already. It's a formicida who can't hear through his
> backside!

Rear View Mirror: Lets you see your backside.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41E37829...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Bob Crowley wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > news:<40DEC5AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > Concave: Against spelunking.
> > > >
> > > > Content: Against camping.
> > > >
> > > > Contrail: Against hiking.
> > > >
> > > > Contour: Against French bicycle races.
> > > >
> > > > Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
> > > >
> > > > Protect: Favoring innovation.
> > >
> > > bipartisan - artist with hair parted in the middle
> > >
> > > bicycle - use twice only
> > >
> > > bipolar - compass with north and south
> > >
> > > binary - 2 canaries
> > >
> > > bimetallic - very heavy metal band
> >
> > Biplane: Bisexual flying machine.
> >
> Triplane: Flying machine belonging someone who never gives up.

Trilo-G: 3 Gs.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4222FBE2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Sheila Dundee wrote:
> >
> > Jenni Saqua wrote:
> > > "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
> > > news:4028cbd0$0$19705$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au...
> > >> Dr Tormento wrote:
> > >>> "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in
> > >>> news:4028bd3b$0$18303$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au:
> > >>>
> > >>>> Pollywolly wrote:
> > >>>>> Sheila Dundee wrote:
> > >>>>>> Pollywolly wrote:
> > >>>>>>> Dr Tormento wrote:
> > >>>>>>>> Marmoset <marm...@yahoo.com> wrote in
> > >>>>>>>> news:Xns9489E2412B0E...@216.196.97.131:
> > >>>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>>>> My girlfriend found a new pencil store
> > >>>>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>>>> She lead me right to it
> > >>>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>>> I don't see the point.
> > >>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>> It was meant 2B'
>
> 2B or not 2B? That is the queston!
>
> > >>>>>>
> > >>>>>> You are very blunt :-(
> > >>>>>
> > >>>>> I'm not here to get in a graphite.
> > >>>>
> > >>>> Well, don't crayon MY shoulder!
> > >>>
> > >>> Now, now, don't go off the depenned.
> > >>
> > >> Well - just listen to His Nibs !!
> > >>
> > > I would :) but there've been some ink credible shrinking posts
> > (like
> > > Dr T's) which are showing up only via your replies!
> >
> > Those of us at the sharpen can't de-scribe how irritating that can
be!
> >
> > Sharpen: Pointy writing instrument.
> >
> > Pointy: Sharp tea.
>
> What pratt first thought of saying pointy for pointed and what would
be a
> suitable punishment for him?
>
> A drunken demon: An Imp Aler?

Or a D.UI?

D.U.I: Drunken seeing organ.

Emu: Sound of an Internet Cow.

Emu: Internet subatomic particle.

Ebay: Where computers swim.

EC: Ocean of computers.

Irate: Price of Internet access.

Icing: Downloaded Internet songs.

mike wheeEler wrote:

> In article <3361f1b9.03110...@posting.google.com>,
> fre...@webtv.net, fredm...@the.PC was looking at the world oddly when:
> >
> >whee...@tns.net (mike wheeEler) wrote in message
> news:<3fae0...@127.0.0.1>...
> >> In article <UIfrb.35203$Ou6....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> >> ne...@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> >> >
> >> >
> >> >mike wheeEler <whee...@tns.net> wrote in message
> >> >news:3fad0...@127.0.0.1...
> >> >> In article <giLqb.17425$Ou6....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> >> >> ne...@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> >> >> >
> >> >> >
> >> >> >mike wheeEler <whee...@tns.net> wrote in message
> >> >> >news:3fab2...@127.0.0.1...
> >> >> >> In article <A3zqb.13848$Ou6....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> >> >> >> ne...@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly when:
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >mike wheeEler <whee...@tns.net> wrote in message
> >> >> >> >news:3fa9b...@127.0.0.1...
> >> >> >> >> In article <c4bqb.1498$Ou6...@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>,
> >> >> >> >> ne...@naughtylass2.wet, nemo was looking at the world oddly
when:
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >fredm...@the.PC <fre...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> >> >> >> >> >news:3361f1b9.03110...@posting.google.com...
> >> >> >> >> >> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote in message
> >> news:<m%Upb.1355$_f4....@news-lhr.blueyonder.co.uk>...
> >> >> >> >> >> > Buffalo Chilkat <mam...@watering.hole> wrote in message
> >> >> >> >> >> > news:b39eqvsloqtcjg98s...@4ax.com...
> >> >> >> >> >> > >
> >> >> >> >> >> > > Man with butterflies in stomach leave caterpillars in
> >> outhouse.
> >> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >> > Sailor with stones in kidneys leave rocks in Head.
> >> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >> >> Billboard MagazineHead line :
> >> >> >> >> >> HEADBANGERS ALERT !
> >> >> >> >> >> Rolling Stones to Rock Kidney, Australia
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> >Rolling Stones: The worst pain known to medical silence!
> >> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >> It's your Jewel of d'Nile... next week is Ruby Tuesday..
> >> >> >> >>
> >> >> >> >What a giveaway!! Have you got the set of her and another model
in a
> >> library
> >> >> >> >;o)!!! Oops! There's another giveaway!
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> >Ruby Tuesday?? Is that when somebody rubs her up the wrong
way? -
> >> Probably
> >> >> >> >Melon-knee!
> >> >> >> >
> >> >> >> Just a melon collie Monday was spicey...
> >> >> >> You were thinking
> >> >> >> John Cougar Melon knee and camp..
> >> >> >
> >> >> >He had a very strange fetish. Saw him mountain lion once!
> >> >> >
> >> >> You jogged my memory...
> >> >> That bit about Monday was actually by the BangGirls..
> >> >
> >> >Not BangGirls, Boar-balls and Beads?
> >> >
> >> Them other ones will tell you that they want, what they really realy
want..
> >> is your balls..
> >
> >Not a problem. I can give them the sac !
>
> I think he is cheating.
> I can tell because I saw him walk like he jipped them.

Cheating: Bell that commits adultry.

Erase: Internet speed contest.

Efface: Computer monitor.

Egypt: Internet scam.

Elate: Tardy computer.
Decommit: To turn off a computer glove.

Imitate: Copy cat glove.

Readmit: To add the glove again.

Recommit: Again a computer glove.
Aping: Bell #1

Bounding: Captive bell.

Conversant: Talking ant that's up to date.

D. Ceive: Tricky demon.

Encounter: Counter #14.

Company: Computer business.

Company: Many computers together.

Compel: Computer that gives orders. Relative of Command.

Comply: Wooden computer that obeys.

Cockney: Knee of a rooster.

nemo wrote:

> fredm...@the.PC <fre...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> news:3361f1b9.03101...@posting.google.com...
> > Parasole : Edible umbrella made from corn chips. Distinkt aroma.
>
> Paravane: Conceited edible umbrella made from corn chips and device
equipped
> with sharp teeth and towed alongside a ship to cut the mooring cables of
> submerged mines. Distinkt eksplosion.

Parasole: Shoes that float or flutter from the sky.
Ceding: Musical seed, or musical ocean, or musical CD.

Ceiling: Baby seal.

Coaling: Baby coal.

Coding: Musical encytption.

Coiling: Baby rope.

Coking: King of the drug cartel.

Collie: Korean dog.
Soupcon: A scam involving a mostly liquid refreshment.

Souring: Bad tasting ring.

Sourcing: Song of rising.

Sorting: Rising bell.
Belting: Musical Chinese.

Bowleg: Leg decoration.

Bowline: Line of arrow firing equipment.

Coping: Bell Co-op.

Copying: Cloned Chinese.

On 07 Jan 2004 12:46:24 GMT, Dr Tormento <re...@togroup.com> found these

unused words floating about:

>earlo...@aol.com (Earlofduke2) wrote in
>news:20040106162719...@mb-m18.aol.com:
>
>> What does an oyster bar taste like? Is it covered with chocolate?
>
> Anybody know the cover charge at the clam strip bar?

How does a clam strip?

Clamming: Shelled Chinese vase in the deep blue sea.
"Alan B. Combs" wrote:

> Untold riches. That is the goal of any self-respecting buccaneer.
> Gold, rubies, diamonds, bullion -- all are acceptable plunder for
these
> thieves of the high seas.
>
> When the the ill-gotten gains are particularly good, many brigands
will
> put their goods in a sack and swing the swag above their heads. Then
> they dance around in a little wiggle-waggle jig very similar to that
> adopted by many NFL players who have just made a touchdown.
>
> Indeed, it is most entertaining to watch a pirate shake his booty.

Booty: Beverage drunk by a ghost.

Boozing: Alcoholic beverage drunk by a ghost.
Kimba: African sheep.

Baffling: Sheep committing adultry.
Oinking: Pig king.

Okay: Donut island.

Olden: Elderly room.

Oldster: Spinning old person.

Peasent: A one penny farm worker.

Pheasent: Flying penny.

Picnicker: Dog out for fun in the sun.

Picker: Dog harvesting crops.

Staker: Barky the Dog Vampire Slayer.

Stalker: A procrastinating dog.

Starker: Famous dog actor.

Stoker: Dog tending a fire.

Streaker: Nude dog.

Striker: Dog on a union picket line.

Striker: Dog pitching ace.

Sucker: Dog lollipop.

Glimmer: Dimly lit ocean.

Glummer: Depressed ocean.

Glooming: Depressed Chinese vase.

Glooming: Chinese vase filled with glue.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40A1E3AC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > I used keep an eye on the price of my shares in a company making
boil
> > > ointment by means of a bum puss ticker!
> >
> > Do you have a cat-a-log of those prices?
> >
> No. Butt I did see a bargain advertised in the window of a gay bar
keen on
> recycling stickers.
>
> It said, "Special offer. One bum per sticker!"

Bumkin: Children of beach bums.

Bumping: Chinese beach bums.

nemo wrote:

> Mos <Not@YourHouse> wrote in message
> news:10bk26q...@corp.supernews.com...
> > J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > On Sat, 29 May 2004 10:55:08 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> found these
> > > unused words floating about:
> > >
> > >> Dougal wrote:
> > >>> On Thu, 20 May 2004 20:27:01 -0700, Larry Krzewinski
> > >>> <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote:
> > >>>
> > >>>>>>> Yo, rampage.
> > >>>>>> Yo, back.
> > >>>>>
> > >>>>> Yoplait.
> > >>>>
> > >>>> Yo, Gert!
> > >>>
> > >>> Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum.
> > >>
> > >> If anybody makes that tired joke about being a
> > >> pirate and buccaneers, I will marry into their family.
> > >>
> > > What's a pirate?
> >
> > Pirate is a result of me accent a tryin' ta say pirate.
> >
> Try saying it into 'iz privatear!
>
> Pirate: The speed of producion in a pie factory.

Aerate: Wind speed.

Berate: Speed of stings.

Curate: Speed of healing.

Hydrate: Speed of irrigation.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:414A36BB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41443969...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Jenni Saqua wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "J. A. Mc." wrote ...
> > > > > > On Fri, 09 Jul James King found
> > > > > > these unused words floating about:
> > > > > > > "Jenni Saqua" wrote:
> > > > > > >> "Dr Tormento" wrote ...
> > > > > > >> > Hauke Reddmann originally wrote :
> > > > > > >> >
> > > > > > >> > > Here at the uni I always pass the Enten-Apotheke
> > > > > > >> > > (Ducks Pharmacy Store). I never was in it, though.
> > > > > > >> > > They are just quacks!
> > > > > > >> >
> > > > > > >> > Do they have a web site?
> > > > > > >> >
> > > > > > >> Yes, and they make a waddle bet!
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >What did a drunk Foghorn Leghorn say to the Chicken Hawk as he
> was
> > > > > > >attempting to entice a mallard into having sex with him?
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > >"That's a duck, shun!"
> > > > > >
> > > > > > And any offspring would be "de duck, shun"?
> > > > > > Rather simple to de dooster, eh?
> > > > > >
> > > > > I guess if he's down on his cluck, then accepting henny Penny for
> his
> > > > > thoughts is a move in the right direction.
> > > >
> > > > How about the left direction?
> > >
> > > Sinister: Dracula using his spoon with a circular motion to mix the
> sugar
> > > into his tea.
> >
> > You accuse him of sinning?
> >
> No knead, when he even uses blood in his bread.

Comport: Where computer ships dock.

Comprise: What computers win at the ends of game shows.

Combust: Computer breast.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41E60F2C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Jerker: Obnoxious dog.
> >
> > Masker: Dog of many faces.
> >
> > Pecker: Dog who pokes holes in wood.
> >
> > Thicker: Fat dog.
> >
> > Thinker: Intelligent dog.
> >
> > Treker: Dog on the Starship Enterprise.
> >
> > Tricker: Halloween dog.
>
> Curumbah! Latin American drunken sheepdog.

Sheepdog: Dog that goes "Ba".

Copresent: One penny co-op gift.

Disassent: To insult a one penny donkey.

Discosent: To insult a one penny co-op.

Represent: One penny politician.

ur_droll wrote:

> "MosZibby" <CLOWN@ATJ> wrote in message
> news:101la84...@corp.supernews.com...
> :
> : "Larry Krzewinski" <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
> : news:ne7l10dkf5v771f7u...@4ax.com...
> : > On Fri, 30 Jan 2004 08:49:44 -0700, "MosZibby" <CLOWN@ATJ> wrote:
> : >
> :
> :
> : > >> >>
> : > >> >> As long as it doesn't involve my five foot pole, none taken.
> : > >> >
> : > >> >Yeah, don't be involving Larry's wife in this.
> : > >>
> : > >> She's only Polish by injection.
> : > >
> : > >(crap, he's started on the Vienna sausage thing again)
> : > >Thought your wife was 5' tall--or short, or whatever.
> : >
> : > My wife is 5' 7" tall, slim build, big boobs, a natural blonde and has
> : > blue eyes.
> : >
> : > Why are you suddenly drooling?
> :
> : I have a thing for blondes with blue eyes. Wish you'd
> : told me about her back there during the Lavana exchange
> : thing. Your wife is an inch taller. Boob size doesn't really
> : matter to me. I'm a nipple freak. I like the ones that look
> : like they can stab through a sheet of plywood. Hang a
> : shirt on them. Poke an eye out. Gotta quit before
> : my tongue gets hard.
>
> now ya sound like a lesbo

Lesbo: Fires gay arrows?

Guest login wrote:

> Ok, I have seen that there are some scotsmen here, so perhaps one of you
> could answer for me that question I have always wanted to ask a scotsman:
>
> How do mushrooms reproduce? Someone told me they use sporens. How?

Mushroom: room where people get kissed.
Rubies: Kangaroo/bee crossbreeds.

Roosters: Spinning kangaroos.

Rukaiser: Kangaroo HMO.

"Keith E." wrote:

> Thu, 25 Mar 2004 14:29:15 -0500 was a day just like any other,
> until "Greg Evans" <mis...@larkbooks.com> wrote:
>
> >under-exposure setting). You can set up the 5700 with 3 separate "user
> >modes", in addition to auto-everything-P&S mode, so if I'm doing motion
or
> >time-sensitive work I can set that up as a separate set of parameters and
> >switch between modes almost instantly. And I love the 35-270 zoom! Wish
it
> >went down to 25mm though.... Next purchases will be 0.5x and 2x screw-on
> >converters.
>
> I have a couple 28mm's, and hardly ever use them.
>
> I usually have a 70-210mm zoom mounted on my main film body, and
> it pretty much lives on the 210mm end. I'm interested in the
> long lenses, and the multiplication factor (1.6 on a 10D) of
> standard 35mm size teles will get me the equivalent of something
> I normally could _never_ afford. And a 400mm with a 1.4x and 2x
> TC's gets me 640mm, 900mm, and 1280mm equivalents - and that's
> some serious glass.

Picturing: Camera worn on a finger.

ynotssor wrote:

> "Larry Krzewinski" <Feerles...@madmagazine.com> wrote in message
> news:nfso905ipjgbfd68v...@4ax.com
>
> >>> Sure. You wouldn't expect a feline to get into
> >>> sado-equine BDSM would you?
> >>
> >> I would say, "Incidentally, Sado-Equine BDSM is the name of my new
> >> band", but I guess that'd be beating a dead horse....
> >
> > Only if that dead horse's name was Necrophilia.
>
> Necrophilia, n.
> The irresistable urge to crack open a cold one.

Necrophilia: Loves vampires.

Pepper: Price of a pick me up.

Peract: Price of part of a play.

Percent: Price of a penny.

Perforate: Price of holes.

Permute: Price of silence.

Person: Price of a male kid.

Perspirate: Price of sweat.

Perspire: Price of the top of the church.

Permission: Price of the entire church.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42AC1CD0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4047C4E6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > To bee or not to bee, that is the question. What is the ant, sir?
> Look
> > > > beehind, beelow, beeneath, beefore, beeside, and beetween.
> > >
> > > And (pleeeeeeeezzzze!) visit the Tower of London and get trodden on by
a
> Bee
> > > Feeter!
> > >
> > > 2B or not 2B? Bugger! I just can't decide which pencil to use.
> >
> > B-1/2: On behalf of half a bee.
> >
> > B-1: An apine bomber.
> >
> > B-2: A stealthy apine bomber.
>
> B-9: A nice apine bomber

B-12: A strong apine bomber.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41ECA13D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Catboat: Feline on the water.
> >
> > Cataract: Feline that blinds.
> >
> > Cation: Charged feline.
> >
> > Catty: Tea drunk by felines.
> >
> > Chant: Singing ant.
>
> E. Decantor: Ancient film star full of sherry.

Decant: A demon cannery.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41265E27...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Subcellular: Underwater cell phone.
> >
> > Subcompact: Agreement among merperson and fish nations.
> >
> > Subprogram: What runs an underwater computer.
> >
> > Subshell: Outside of a submarine.
>
> Can't be right. Outside of a submarine is water.

Subshell: Underwater oil company.

Scripting: A play about bells.

Subcontract: Legal agreement underwater.

Substandard: Underwater flag.

Subscribe: Mermaid secretary.

Subscript: Underwater play.

Superscript: Clark Kent play.
nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42ABCBCB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Defer: To remove one's hair.
> >
> > Prefer: Before you grow hair.
> >
> > Refer: To grow hair again.
>
> Reefer: To grow irrationally happy again! An absolutely spliffing idea.

Reefer: Hair on an ocean reef.

Ruble: Kangaroo/bull crossbreed.

Pitman: Male adult in a hole.

Reciprocate Ting: Chinese who returns favors.
Sensing: musical echolocation.

Sentencing: What a singing judge does.

Frosty: Tea that freezes.

Glacier: Very cold knight.

Icicle: Very cold bike.

Cold Front: A cover for spies that are still in the cold.

Icing: Cold song.

Ice Code: Code used by secret Santas.

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> For many years the various sections of the Tate family were scattered
far
> and wide. Finally, with the advent of cheap travel, they decided to
get
> together enmasse. What no one forsaw was that they were all extremely
> amorous in nature.
>
> Soon they had all paired off and the hall resounded with shouts, calls
and
> grunts. Forevermore it became known as the united Tate's congress.

Leading to the Baby Boom.

Baby Boom: Very loud infants.

E-Gul: Bird on the Internet.

C-Gul: 100 Gul note.

B-Gul: Bird-bee crossbreed.

K-9: Doctor Who's robot dog.

B-9: Kind buzzing insect.

Aborting: Bell that ends a pregnancy.

Admitting: Bell that rings to allow you in.

Alerting: Bell that rings warning.

Affording: Cheap bell.

Affording: One bell that wades across a river.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4153A3E1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4030799A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Forecast: 4 actors.
> > > >
> > > > Outcast: Gay actor who has left the closet.
> > > >
> > > > Overcast: Cloudy actors.
> > >
> > > Send for the Okta-puss again!
> >
> > Antsy: Ocean of ants.
> >
> > Autopsy: Ocean of dead people, or ocean of car roofs.
> >
> > Betsy: Casino ocean.
> >
> > Pussy: Ocean of cats.
>
> Percy: Ocean of contented cats.

Harbor: Where floating pigs dock.

Hammer: Ocean that hits hard.

Absently: Missing Korean penny.

Arrogantly: Bold, aggressive Korean.

Decently: Nice Korean penny.

Presently: A Korean is here.

Recently: A Korean penny in the near past.
K-GB: K that oppresses the other letters.

K-Per: Price of the letter K.

K-Pon: To climp upon a K.

K-Sea: Ocean of Ks.

K-Sing: Musical Ks.

L-Bow:

L-der: Old L.

L-dest:

L-ephant

L-evator:

L-Fin: What an L-Fish used to swim.

M-Balm, M-Bark (M-shaped dog or tree), M-Bed (Where Ms sleep), M-Ber
(Cold-M), M-Blazon, M-Blem, M-Boss (Leader of the Ms), M-pire, and
M-ulate.

N-able, N-act, N-amel, N-camp, N-case, N-due, N-ema, N-emy, N-fold,
N-gulf, N-igma, N-joy, N-list, N-mesh, N-mity, N-noble, N-plane, N-rage,
N-roll, N-semble, N-sign, N-slave, N-snare, N-sue, N-sure, N-tail,
N-tomb, N-tropy, N-trail, N-V, N-voy,
A 176 year old tortoise just died of heart failure. It was one of the
tortoises collected by Charles Darwin in 1835.

artyw wrote:

> Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:<68SUb.1256$wt....@newssvr23.news.prodigy.com>...
> > At the White House: We want you to fillmore at home
>
> Dont Polk fun at our presidents.

Don't Tippacanoe!

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On 6 Feb 2004 18:46:37 -0800, art...@yahoo.com (artyw) found these
unused
> words floating about:
>
> >Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
news:<68SUb.1256$wt....@newssvr23.news.prodigy.com>...
> >> At the White House: We want you to fillmore at home
> >
> >Dont Polk fun at our presidents.
>
> Carter explain?

If you can a Ford the time.

Palema wrote:

> mike wheeELer wrote:
>
> > In article <2m6a20pca10fbvl50...@4ax.com>,
> > jaS...@gbr.online.com, J. A. Mc. was looking at the world oddly
when:
> >
> >>On 6 Feb 2004 18:46:37 -0800, art...@yahoo.com (artyw) found these
unused
> >>words floating about:
> >>
> >>
> >>>Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> >
> > news:<68SUb.1256$wt.454@newss
> >
> >>vr23.news.prodigy.com>...
> >>
> >>>>At the White House: We want you to fillmore at home
> >>>
> >>>Dont Polk fun at our presidents.
> >>
> >>Carter explain?
> >>
> >
> > He say nix on that idea..
> >
> Ag knew that would happen!

Spiro: Row of primitive weapons.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4095D80D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Tim Bruening wrote:
> >
> > > KIMEVANS wrote:
> > >
> > > > demanding: the man rings a small bell
> > >
> > > Sanding: Beach bell.
> > >
> > > Ambulatory: Walking Conservative British Male Bovine.
> > >
> > > Celebratory: happy Conservative.
> > >
> > > Alarmist: Easily scared fog.
> >
> > Rectory: Britsih Conservative ass.
> >
> Should be plural. They're all asses - and arses!!

Contributory: To make campaign donations to British Conservatives.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40973D36...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > "fredm...@the.PC" wrote:
> >
> > > There is a pecking order in here, so your Raven is deferred.
> >
> > Peck King: King of sexy birds.
> >
> Peck King Order: Royal edict.

Edict: Penis on the Internet.

Tick King Time Bomb: Explosive parasite monarch.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42B7313F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Deacon: Against demons.
> >
> > Deacon: Demon criminal.
> >
> > Decamp: Demon on vacation.
> >
> > Decay: Rotting demon.
> >
> > Decay: Demon Island.
>
> Deplodicus: Oath uttered by a demon whose feet are so sore he can only
walk
> slowly and laboriously.

December: Month of cold demons in the North, and hot demons in the
South.

Bim Truening wrote:

> Cunning butchest: Nobody Chines.
>
> Plumpkin: A Knight who kepticing.
>
> Pote: A bulls.

Plumpkin: Fat relatives.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42B66B84...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Surfer: Very hairy knight who likes to ride boards on water.
>
> To me, that would be Severn kinds of bore!

Severn Snape?

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42B7C425...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Father Ring and Mother Ring: Parents of Son Ring and Daughter Ring.
> >
> > Mother Board: Mother of a tree.
> >
> > Mother Bored.
> >
> > Antonym: Wife of Uncle Nym.
> >
> > Denise: Sister of De Nephew.
>
> Klezmer tune about being careful when the in-laws get angry:
>
> Fearing di Mekatonim!

Fearing: A terrorist ring.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41413F12...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Curl Ling: A Chinese with bent hair.
> >
> > Drumming: A percussion Chinese vase.
> >
> > Goal Lee: Korean who guards the goal.
> >
> > Pale Line: White Chinese.
> >
> > Pail Ling: Chinese water container.
>
> Pauline: A very thin saint.

Daily: Diurnal Korean.

headdr wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40B0A4A9...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40014B91...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Rumble: Druken male cow.
> > >
> > > Tumble: Male cow with stomach(s) ache.
> > >
> > > Bumble: Male cow with sore arse/ass.
> > >
> > > Fumble: Male cow who's very clumsy.
> > >
> > > Humble: Male cow who'd like to be moo-sickle but can't remember the
> words -
> > > or who stinks!.
> > >
> > > Scumble: Male cow who's intensly disliked.
> >
> > Grumble: Complaining bull.
> >
> > Amble: Bull just walking along.
> >
> > Scramble: Fast bull.
> >
> > Compatible: Friendly bull.
> >
> > Compatible: Electronic bull.
> >
> If she has income and is patable, why would anyone consider her to be
> incompatible?

Patentable: What Monsanto would do with a genetically engineered male
bovine.

Piton: 3.14 tons.

nemo wrote:

> fredm...@the.PC Z <FRE...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> news:15179-3FA...@storefull-2371.public.lawson.webtv.net...
> > ne...@naughtylass2.wet (nemo) wrote :
> >
> > >Pan head: Screw used to hold handles onto cooking utensils. Cheese
> > head: Screw that holds mousetraps together. Countersunk: Used in flooded
> > shops. Round head: Screw that holds Oliver Cromwell together. Instrument
> > head: Holds the keywork on saxophones together.
> >
> > >Nemo
> > >(Anyone noticed that he's got the colour scheme of a Clown Fish?)
> >
> > > Shit head : Screw used to prevent back sides from opening at
> > inopportune times.
> >
> > Phillips' Head : Ornamental British screw, used solely by QE2.
> >
> > Pot Head : Screw with missing threads that usually turns into a...
> >
> > Dead Head : Totally useless screw, before and after Jerry Garcia's
> > death.
> >
> > Fred's Head : Loose screw, used solely for entertainment purposes.
> >
> Potato Head: Made of Aloo minium.
>
> Torx: Verbose screw.
>
> Hex: Used to hold witches together.
>
> Wood's Crew: Tree Fellahs.
>
> Double Threaded: NG conversation in stereo.

Screwing: Flying screw.

Hauke Reddmann wrote:

> Last year, during my holiday in Italy, a wreckless
> driver nearly ran me over.
> I refrained to discuss things out - he was an Alfa male.

But what did you reach into your glovebox for? The subject title
promised me a glovebox!

Badminton: Evil 2,000 pound glove.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40B095B6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >
> > > On 17 May 2004 09:16:12 -0500, "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I"
> > > <tonworth...@SexMagnet.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > >>>>>>>>> Datsa not a knot hole -- datsa bung hole.
> > > >>>>>>>> I'd break into a chorus of Jethro Tull's "Bunghole In The
> Jungle",
> > > >>>>>>>> but it might get Milt too excited.
> > > >>>>>>> Hehe! Hahaha! Watch me swing on this vine! Oo...Hey! Wait a
> > > >>>>>>> minute...! <Boink!>
> > > >>>>>>You misspelled "Bunged!"
> > > >>>>>Now there's a visual. I always wondered why Tarzan yelled like
> that.
> > > >>>>Tarzan stumped when him find out Jane really John. That make
Tarzan
> > > >>>>yell.
> > > >>>Yeah, that Hollywood Blvd can be a real jungle.
> > > >>
> > > >>"The Celluloid Jungle" by Milt Smuthworthy I. A tale of sex, lies
and
> > > >>videotape found on Hollywood Blvd. Now available at all Cheeta
> > > >>Bookstores worldwide.
> > > >>Photos by Jane.
> > > >
> > > >I was thinking of calling the movie version Beyond the Valley of the
> > > >Beans. And instead of a sword, this guy grinds everybody up and
stuffs
> > > >them in a giant percolator.
> > >
> > > Interesting idea, Milt. Are you by any chance smoking beans instead
> > > of drinking them?
> >
> > How do you smoke a bean?
> >
> Depenz aan which legume been stannin orn at the toim! (Sposed to be a West
> Country accent!)

Legume: Below the Armgume.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40B0AABC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40B00EA4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:4041ED5A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > >
> > > > > >
> > > > > > nemo wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > > > news:403DBDD4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > > > B-10: The bee who lost.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Beanie: Part of a bee's anatomy you wear on your head.
> > > > > > >
> > > > > > > Base Ball Cap: Covering for spherical objects in the nether
> regions
> > > > > usually
> > > > > > > referred to using a rude word from the Nether Lands, or is
that
> > > > > bollocks?!
> > > > > >
> > > > > > Like a condom? (*Those* ones are called Wellington Boots over
> here!)
> > > > > >
> > > > > Sentence in murder case or whole country manufacturing rubbers:
> > > > > Condomnation.
> > > >
> > > > Sentencing: What the judge sings at the end of a trial.
> > >
> > > Not the famous naked judge, Justice Shoesansocks?
> >
> > Was he imprisoned in Iraq?
>
> Only his shoesansocks were. There's a footwear shortage out there.

A lack of sole?

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BBBB76...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Dr Tormento <re...@togroup.com> wrote in message
> > > news:Xns94F04A9D51A...@199.184.165.239...
> > > > "Chris Trask" <chris...@earthlink.net> wrote in
> > > > news:0mbrc.3894$be....@newsread2.news.pas.earthlink.net:
> > > >
> > > > > If a crab is seen carrying a bible, is he considered to be a
> > Reborn
> > > > > Crustacean?
> > > >
> > > > Does he own a shell corporation?
> > >
> > > Yes. He's got a fat belly!
> >
> > Belly: Korean Ding Dong!
> >
> Bart Simpson Tosh!
>
> Corporation:
> noun: A business firm whose articles of incorporation have been approved
> in some state.
> noun: Slang term for a paunch.

What happens if the corporate charter gets repealed?

Robin May wrote:

> hercul...@yahoo.com (herculles) wrote the following in:
> news:3c88f7e9.04031...@posting.google.com
>
> > What do you get if you mix a fella with Horatio?
>
> A fella she owes. But who is she that owes the fella and what does she
> owe him?

Owing: A borrowed bird.

Hieronymus wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40DD2827...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Hieronymus wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40DD0E10...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Concomitant: Against electronic ant gloves.
> > > >
> > > > Concomitant: Criminal electronic ant gloves.
> > > >
> > > > Consensus: Against tallies of populations.
> > > >
> > > > Opalescent: A jewel of a penny.
> > > >
> > > > Sextant: Ant on Viagra.
> > >
> > > Extant: a stepped on ant
> >
> > Antler: Horny ant.
> >
> > Expectant: Pregnant ant.
> >
> Anti: What an ant wears with a suit
>
> Antigravity: an ant in outer space

Antiwar: An ant peace activist.

Hieronymus wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40DD0E10...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Concomitant: Against electronic ant gloves.
> >
> > Concomitant: Criminal electronic ant gloves.
> >
> > Consensus: Against tallies of populations.
> >
> > Opalescent: A jewel of a penny.
> >
> > Sextant: Ant on Viagra.
>
> Extant: a stepped on ant

Antler: Horny ant.

Expectant: Pregnant ant.

nemo wrote:

> Blues Buoy <ashish...@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:13697ebc.04070...@posting.google.com...
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:<40E9104B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > Bob Crowley wrote:
> > >
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:<40DEC5AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > > Concave: Against spelunking.
> > > > >
> > > > > Content: Against camping.
> > > > >
> > > > > Contrail: Against hiking.
> > > > >
> > > > > Contour: Against French bicycle races.
> > > > >
> > > > > Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
> > > > >
> > > > > Protect: Favoring innovation.
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > bicycle - use twice only
> > > >
> > > > bipolar - compass with north and south
> > > >
> > > > binary - 2 canaries
> > > >
> > > > bimetallic - very heavy metal band
> > >
> > > Biplane: Bisexual flying machine.
> >
> > Antimony - Frugalist
> >
> Beryllium: Interring a guy called Liam.
>
> Barium: Interring anybody's body!
>
> Potassium: Favored by stoned donkeys.
>
> Aluminium: Tasty curried potatoes prepared by Minerva.

Helium: Gas that cures.

Curium: A transuranic element that cures.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40E9104B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Bob Crowley wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:<40DEC5AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > Concave: Against spelunking.
> > > >
> > > > Content: Against camping.
> > > >
> > > > Contrail: Against hiking.
> > > >
> > > > Contour: Against French bicycle races.
> > > >
> > > > Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
> > > >
> > > > Protect: Favoring innovation.
> > >
> > > bipartisan - artist with hair parted in the middle
> > >
> > > bicycle - use twice only
> > >
> > > bipolar - compass with north and south
> > >
> > > binary - 2 canaries
> > >
> > > bimetallic - very heavy metal band
> >
> > Biplane: Bisexual flying machine.
> >
> Narr! It's the act of purchasing an aircraft.

Or saying goodbye to a plane.

Blues Buoy wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:<40E9104B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > Bob Crowley wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:<40DEC5AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > Concave: Against spelunking.
> > > >
> > > > Content: Against camping.
> > > >
> > > > Contrail: Against hiking.
> > > >
> > > > Contour: Against French bicycle races.
> > > >
> > > > Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
> > > >
> > > > Protect: Favoring innovation.
> > >
> > >
> > > bicycle - use twice only
> > >
> > > bipolar - compass with north and south
> > >
> > > binary - 2 canaries
> > >
> > > bimetallic - very heavy metal band
> >
> > Biplane: Bisexual flying machine.
>
> Antimony - Frugalist
>
> bipartisan - a Japanese bloke belonging to two political parties
>
> procure - for euthanasia

What would being in favor of a cure indicate that you favor mercy
killings?

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41B4C43F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > "Cybe R. Wizard" wrote:
> >
> > > On Sat, 06 Dec 2003 08:11:12 -0800
> > > J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> > >
> > > > On 6 Dec 2003 13:24:49 GMT, Hauke Reddmann <fc3...@uni-hamburg.de>
> > > > found these unused words floating about:
> > > >
> > > > >To be frankly, I only believe in computers.
> > > > >I'm a press-byte-rian.
> > > >
> > > > I only use multi-level sculpted keyboards ...
> > > > I'm a press by tier'ian.
> > > >
> > > I believe mu computer should remain active all the time. I'm
> > > anti-Bootist.
> >
> > Presbyterian: Worshipper of newspapers.
>
> Presbitaryan: A Caucasian person of Nordic descent who Dubbaya the Shrub
has
> sunk his teeth into.

Neither vagina Nordic.
I bet that Luke Skywalker (son of the infamous villian Darth Vader) gets
the willies when he thinks of Father's Day!

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44964352...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Buffalo Chilkat wrote:
> >
> > > Kathy wrote:
> > > >Buffalo Chilkat wrote
> > > >> Castro always wanted to be number one. He was not about to play
> > > >> second Fidel to anyone.
> > > >Such an experience could leave him emotionally cigarred.
> > > Uniformly true, do you havana more of those puns?
> >
> > Bay of Pigs: Where porcine swim.
> >
> > Fish Scent: Piscine penny.
> >
>
> Piscene: Veiw of a baker's window.

Daddy: Male demon parent.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:44964A0C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Comma: Computer Mom.
> >
> > Commission: Computer church.
> >
> > Commit: Computer glove.
> >
> > Emerge: Dot.com merger.
> >
> > Emission: Internet church.
>
> Effluvium: Thin smoke from your MODEM.

Is that a threat?

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:449643A4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Hte Trasme wrote:
> >
> > > On 26 Jan 2004 02:21:13 GMT, johnnai...@aol.com (Johnnaishwerner)
> > > wrote:
> > >
> > > >Did you hear about the furniture maker who sent his daughter to
> finishing
> > > >school?
> > >
> > > If not, wooden you like to?
> >
> > Finishing: End of the song.
> >
>
> Coda: End of the song in Morse.

Napa: Sleeping Dad.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:449642FA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Marmoset wrote:
> >
> > > Hear about the drunk optician?
> > >
> > > He made a spectacle out of himself
> >
> > Does he have contacts?
> >
> He's a relay?

How do we know that cats always land on their fathers?

Because they always land on their Pa's.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42B7C7DE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > ABCD: CD-Rom that teaches the alphabet.
>
> . . . to apines?
> >
> > AC: Any very large expanse of water or electricity.
> >
> > AM: One's location, as in, "Here AM."
>
> Or the smoked dead pig's leg that a butcher hangs in his window in the
> morning.
> >
> > AD: Very brave UK lady War Correspondent.
>
> Mine! -
>
> Hard a-port . . . ! . . . BANG!!!! Glug - glug - glug . . . . . Too late!
>
> http://www.reliefweb.int/ocha_ol/pub/dhanews/issue22/frline.html
> >
> > BC: Ocean in the past.
>
> CC: Effeminate ocean.
>
> IC: Frozen ocean.
>
> KC: Bloke's name.
>
> LC: Girl's name.
>
> PC: Ocean of urine.
>
> RC: Where the Pope goes swimming.

TC: Ocean of tea.

nemo wrote:

> Buffalo Chilkat <mam...@watering.hole> wrote in message
> news:kassqvscsuulv9ncc...@4ax.com...
> > On Sun, 9 Nov 2003 09:53:16 -0600, "dustbird" <dust...@cross.wind>
> > wrote:
> >
> > > Man pulls into rural filling station.
> > > "My cars overheated. Can I leave it till it cools ?"
> > > "Sure. I'll fill the radiator for you."
> > > "What a mitzvoh! What's your name?"
> > > "Will"
> > > "Mine's Moshe. I need a ride to the synagogue. Can I use your
phone?"
> > > "I'll give you a lift, rabbi."
> > > "Oy vey! You are one of the righteous gentiles! Thank you. Say, I
> also
> > >need to grab a bite to eat. Do you have any kosher snacks by any
chance,
> > >Will?
> > > "Just ran out of stock. You can have a plug of my chewing tobacco
if
> you
> > >want, Moshe."
> > > "Sorry, my friend! I'm not chewish!"
> >
> > "Chew eat yet, Moshe?" Will asked.
> > "No, Jew eat?" said Moshe.
> > "No." replied Will. "I'm not Hungary."
>
> Give 'im some Turkey fried in Greece.

Serve it on China.

Sheila Dundee wrote:

> nemo wrote:
> > fredm...@the.PC Z <FRE...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > news:9617-3FA...@storefull-2372.public.lawson.webtv.net...
> > mam...@watering.hole (Buffalo Chilkat)
> > wrote :
> >> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylass2.wet> wrote:
> >
> > In Homer Narr Way, poor old Alf Stew Wart is Haily-ucinating
> > because of a
> > brian tumor and a bright green version of his dead wife Ailsa has
> > just appeared to him. It was just a pigment of his
> > imaginatuion though.
> >
> >>> Ancient Sumerian women used decoctions of the plants Ficus and
> >>> Mentha
> > as a douche. Was that just a fig-mint of their invaginations?
> >
> >>>> Leaf mens' true Asian therapy alone !
> >
> > Do they do a her ball hair ball cure for cats?
>
> What do cats do about men o' paws?

Or dogs of war?

nemo wrote:

> Hauke Reddmann <fc3...@uni-hamburg.de> wrote in message
> news:ca1j1f$2et$1...@rzsun03.rrz.uni-hamburg.de...
> > 2020 the time machine was invented. Of course, its
> > functioning was tested with an animal first, like
> > in rocket science. Thus we experienced the first REAL
> > two-timing bitch.
> >
> Tutamen bitch? Must be a symbiotic guard dog.
>
> http://cancerweb.ncl.ac.uk/cgi-bin/omd?tutamen

Not an Egyptian pharaoh dog?

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BBBB5B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> >
> > > On Wed, 19 May 2004 14:45:09 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> found these
> > unused
> > > words floating about:
> > >
> > > >J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > >> On Tue, 18 May 2004 12:17:48 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> found
> > these
> > > >> unused words floating about:
> > > >>
> > > >>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > >>>>> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > >>>>> news:40A93E6D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >>>>>> The man rode on the horse, and yet he walked beside it. How
> > can
> > > >>>>>> this statement be true?
> > > >>>>>
> > > >>>> What does the leader of the Catholic Church, a domesticated
> > feline
> > > >>>> and part of a flower have in common?
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Letters of the alphabet are used to name them.
> > > >>>
> > > >> Sea'son yore! (da nada)
> > > >
> > > >Donkey shit.
> > > >
> > > Thanks for the ID, knew I'd find an expert.
> >
> > ID: Internet Demon.
> >
> ID hole: His den.

Hidie: Concealed demon.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42B679B3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Forerunner: In favor of fast moving people.
> >
> > Foreman: In favor of humanity.
> >
> > Conman: Against humanity.
>
> Conman the Barbarian: A particularly vicious and violent swindler.

Swindler's List?

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BBBB5B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> >
> > > On Wed, 19 May 2004 14:45:09 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> found these
> > unused
> > > words floating about:
> > >
> > > >J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > >> On Tue, 18 May 2004 12:17:48 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> found
> > these
> > > >> unused words floating about:
> > > >>
> > > >>> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > >>>>> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > >>>>> news:40A93E6D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >>>>>> The man rode on the horse, and yet he walked beside it. How
> > can
> > > >>>>>> this statement be true?
> > > >>>>>
> > > >>>> What does the leader of the Catholic Church, a domesticated
> > feline
> > > >>>> and part of a flower have in common?
> > > >>>
> > > >>> Letters of the alphabet are used to name them.
> > > >>>
> > > >> Sea'son yore! (da nada)
> > > >
> > > >Donkey shit.
> > > >
> > > Thanks for the ID, knew I'd find an expert.
> >
> > ID: Internet Demon.
> >
> ID hole: His den.

Hidie: Demon that's hidden.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BCFDEC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41F07F4D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 18:48:19 GMT, "Cybe R. Wizard"
> > > > > <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> found these unused words floating
> > > about:
> > > > >
> > > > > >On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 08:08:59 -0800
> > > > > >J. A. Mc. <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote:
> > > > > >
> > > > > >> On Fri, 21 Nov 2003 08:54:33 GMT, Buffalo Chilkat
> > > > > >> <mam...@watering.hole> found these unused words floating about:
> > >
> > > > > >>
> > > > > >> >
> > > > > >> >Man who kiss ass, better be sitting on the donkey.
> > > > > >> Where did you burro that from?
> > > > > >> ('M ule keep it a secret, right?)
> > > > > >
> > > > > >He's been drinking too much jenn, jack.
> > > > > >
> > > > > Perhaps we should send him out into Death Valley to find a Lost
> > > Burro
> > > > > ... Mine! He'll be a Hunter mountain the trail.
> > > >
> > > > Trail Ling: Chinese hiker.
> > > >
> > > > Bail Ling: Chinese leaves jail.
> > > >
> > > > Nail Ling: Chinese carpenter.
> > > >
> > > > Nail Ling: End of a Finger Ling.
> > >
> > > Aha! Yes! The Nile Delta, where the river spreads out like some
> > > enormous
> > > hand: Finger Niles!!
> > > (ISIRTA)
> >
> > Beware of biting nails!
>
> A brother and sister arrive home from school having a terrible argument.
The
> mum asks what's wrong and the brother shows her his hands. All his
> fingertips are red-raw.
>
> She says to her daughter, "OK. What's been going on?" The daughter
replies,
> "Well you told me to stop biting my nails - so I've been biting his
> instead!"
>
> Throw away your hammer! They've just invented self-tapping nails!!

And self sealing stembolts!

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BCFD2C...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41ECA97F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Anaconda: A snake Ann.
> > > >
> > > > Anagram: An Ann weighing 1/28th ounce, and is good with words.
> > > >
> > > > Anatomic: An Ann who knows the body and also knows nuclear physics
> > > >
> > > > Antonym: Ann who's good with names.
> > > >
> > > > Annoy: Irritating Ann.
> > >
> > > Annoy: A Yiddisher exclamation.
> >
> > X-Claim: Claim # 24.
> >
> X = 10!
>
> What a 144 mistake. 12t bare thinking about!

But X is the 24th letter of the alphabet!

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BBBAC6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Jenni Saqua <mar...@awol.com> wrote in message
> > > news:40a7c27d$0$28701$d36...@news.calweb.com...
> > > > "Hauke Reddmann" originally wrote ...
> > > >
> > > > > How do two bulls great?
> > > > >
> > > > > With a heifive!
> > > > >
> > > > Especially those on steer-oids!
> > > >
> > > >
> > >
> > > Bullocks!
> >
> > Used to lock the Bull Pen?
> >
> >
> Bull Pen? I thought that was a kind of hammer.

Hammer: Ocean of pig meat.

Slammer: Ocean of jails.

nemo wrote:

> David Reihmer <sim...@mindspring.com> wrote in message
> news:simwah-156D6A....@netnews.attbi.com...
> > In article <vecjov4r8et97gk0e...@4ax.com>,
> > Buffalo Chilkat <mam...@watering.hole> wrote:
> >
> > > Hindu-Swiss cheese: Holey Cow!
> >
> > I get my holey cheese from the Dairy Llama.
> > --
> Which cheese to chose probably puts you on the horns of a Dalai Lama.
>
> (He's Buddhist BTW, not Hindu.)

Emu: Cow on the Internet.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BDD2B3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Adverse: A hostile song.
> >
> > Adversity: A hostile city.
> >
> > Converse: Singing criminal(s).
> >
> > Reverse: To sing again.
> >
> > Attract: What a train runs on.
> >
> > Contract: Criminal railroad.
> >
> > Retract: To go on the train again.
> >
> > Subtract: What subway trains run on.
> >
> > Subtract: A train underwater.
>
> Trample: Kid on roller-skates hanging on to the back of a railed public
> transport vehicle.

Transport: To play n many sports.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BDD2E2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Jerking: Obnoxious king.
> >
> > Jerking: Masterbation king. Brother of Yanking and Wanking.
> >
> > Masking: King of many faces.
> >
> > Pecking: King who pokes holes in wood.
> >
> > Pecking: King of sex.
>
> Gregory Pecker?
>
> (That was somebody's moniker on one of the very naughty groups many years
> ago. He's probably been arrested!)

Moniker: Name of a dog.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4317E2E8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Greg Evans wrote:
> >
> > > J. A. Mc. wrote:
> > > > On Wed, 3 Nov 2004 06:30:51 -0500, "Frank A. Rosenbaum"
> > > >> "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" <tonworth...@SexMagnet.com>
> wrote
> > > >> in
> > > >>> Then "Frank A. Rosenbaum" says:
> > > >>>> "Greg Evans" <mis...@larkbooks.com> wrote in message
> > > >>>> news:2unehsF...@uni-berlin.de...
> > > >>>>> Frank A. Rosenbaum wrote:
> > > >>>>>> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> > > >>>>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
> message
> > > >>>>
> > > >>>>>>>> Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
> > > >>>>>>>> To draw the curtains.
> > > >>>>>>> If he had though himself to actually be the curtains, he
> > > >>>>>>> should
> > > >>>>>>> have pulled himself together!
> > > >>>>>> He did, but he draped himself over the bed. By the way, the
>
> > > >>>>>> mans
> > > >>>>>> name is Rod.
> > > >>>>> Did it comforter him to do that, or was it a result of some
> sort
> > > >>>>> of ambi-valence about his purpose in life?
> > > >>>> Well, Sheet, Greg, Ya gotta ask Rod. I was blind when he did
> it.
> > > >>>> Don't forget to take your pill, Oh, also don't forget your
> > > >>>> inhaler
> > > >>>> either.
> > > >>> Do you two have a room? I'm hearing shades of a one
> nightstand.
> > > >> No, we don't. He wanted to roller in the hay, but I told him
> that I
> > > >> wasn't pulled that way.
> > > >
> > > > You prefer feathers ... ???
> > >
> > > Not sure I'm willing to take that thought any feather.... Call it
> a
> > > draw?
> >
> > Pillow: Medicine on the ground.
>
> Tablets of stone: Calcium carbonate pills.

Cal-C-M, Heli-M, Lithi-M.

"Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:

> Tim Bruening wrote:
> >
> > "Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
> >
> > I don't know if it's still there, but in the 30 years ago time frame
> >
> >
> >>New York City's Triborough Bridge had a huge sign about midway solemnly
> >>advising motorists to drive off the bridge in case of air attack.
> >>Some great advice which must have left plenty of motorists alarmed.
> >
> >
> > I bet the sign was revived after 9/11 (featuring the first air attack in
the
> > continental U.S. since the Japanese balloon attack in W.W.II!).
> >
> How much?

I don't know how much the sign cost taxpayers.

"Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:

I don't know if it's still there, but in the 30 years ago time frame

> New York City's Triborough Bridge had a huge sign about midway solemnly
> advising motorists to drive off the bridge in case of air attack.
> Some great advice which must have left plenty of motorists alarmed.

I bet the sign was revived after 9/11 (featuring the first air attack in the
continental U.S. since the Japanese balloon attack in W.W.II!).

Buffalo Chilkat wrote:

> Note found on school bulletin board: "I teach sex ed. Meet me outside
> school any afternoon." signed, Edward.

IN

OUT

REPEAT

j...@imagen.UUCP (j...@imagen.UUCP) wrote on 1986-11-26 12:09:48 PST:

> News Item: Iranian arms money to Nicaragua; Reagan et al. deny all
prior knowledge, etc. etc.

> Clearly, Reagan is positioning himself for a return to his former
> profession as a Hollywood actor after his current term ends.
> He will play the title role in the latest remake of Pinocchio.

Reagan's version of events was Contra-dicted by the truth.

Contradict: Nicaraguan rebel penises.

j...@imagen.UUCP (j...@imagen.UUCP) wrote on 1986-11-26 12:09:48 PST:

> News Item: Iranian arms money to Nicaragua; Reagan et al. deny all
prior knowledge, etc. etc.

> Clearly, Reagan is positioning himself for a return to his former
> profession as a Hollywood actor after his current term ends.
> He will play the title role in the latest remake of Pinocchio.

Reagan was sure doing a nice Contra dance with the truth! Why didn't
this scandal break BEFORE the 1986 midterm elections!

415 (mic...@iris.berkeley.edu_(Tom_Slone_[) wrote on 1986-09-25
09:08:02 PST:
>
>
> "Democracies do not spend a lot of money on arms, build large armies or
> invade or destabilize their neighbors."
> -- Ronald Reagan
>
> "Is he calling us undemocratic or what?"
> --Kilroy

Another Reaganism: "Trust, but verify". President Bush is violating
that Reaganism by opposing verification of a treaty to stop production
of fissile materials for nuclear weapons.

Don Kirkman wrote:

> It seems to me I heard somewhere that Milton J. Smuthworthy, I wrote in
> article <434348f5$0$9183$bb4e...@newscene.com>:
>
> >Then "nemo" says:
> >>"Kung Fu Master Qui Chang Dobey" <dob...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> >>>> nemo wrote:
> >>>>> Michael Balarama <mba...@ev1.net> wrote in message
> >>>>>> "Kathy" <tnktk...@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
> >>>>>>> Courier: They gave me the runaround.
>
> >>>>>> he could not scratch out a living
>
> >>>>> Who? An engraver or a flea exterminator?
>
> >>>>> Sewer worker: Got fed up with being shat on by everybody.
> >>>>> Postman: Didn't like delivery of de vans and de uniform.
> >>>>> Producer: Went impotent.
> >>>>> Snooker player: Suddenly realised the game was a load of balls!
>
> >>>> Flower cleaner: Business wilted.
>
> >>> how about the gardner who leafed his job?
>
> >>And when they found a replacement, it was quite a re-leaf!
>
> >He was just out of topiary school and used cutting-edge
> >technology!
>
> I thought that was a privet school where he also studied landscaping,
> thus hedging his bets.

Toilet salesman: His business got flushed.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43406937...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > fredm...@the.PC Z <FRE...@webtv.net> wrote in message
> > > news:8317-3F8...@storefull-2377.public.lawson.webtv.net...
> > > ne...@naughtylass2.wet (nemo)
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3F81B6DA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > nemo wrote:
> > > Michael Balarama <mba...@ev1.net> wrote in message
> > > news:vo0as5s...@corp.supernews.com...
> > > "Kathy" <tnktk...@cogeco.ca> wrote in message
> > > news:t4Ufb.4853$733.2...@read1.cgocable.net...
> > > Courier: They gave me the runaround.
> > > he could not scratch out a living
> > >
> > > Who? An engraver or a flea exterminator?
> > > Sewer worker: Got fed up with being shat on by everybody. Postman:
> > > Didn't like delivery of de vans and de uniform. Producer: Went
impotent.
> > > Snooker player: Suddenly realised the game was a load of balls!
> > >
> > > Flower cleaner: Business drooped.
> > >
> > > The question is: Will Ted take his place?
> >
> > Car saleman: His business crashed.
>
> Maker of ensigns pendants and standards: His business flagged.
>
> Undertaker: His business died off.

Defense contractor: His business bombed.

nemo wrote:

> Believe me, being made redundant from an electronics company where you've
> been testing, calibrating, repairing and building electronic equipment for
> fourteen years is utterly solder-stroying!

Redundancy: Duplicate ocean.

nemo wrote:

> Believe me, being made redundant from an electronics company where you've
> been testing, calibrating, repairing and building electronic equipment for
> fourteen years is utterly solder-stroying!

Have you recently had such an experience?

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43EC1565...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > "J. A. Mc." wrote:
> >
> > > On 6 Feb 2004 18:46:37 -0800, art...@yahoo.com (artyw) found these
> > unused
> > > words floating about:
> > >
> > > >Palema <pale...@sbcglobal.net> wrote in message
> > news:<68SUb.1256$wt....@newssvr23.news.prodigy.com>...
> > > >> At the White House: We want you to fillmore at home
> > > >
> > > >Dont Polk fun at our presidents.
>
> Why not? Somebody's gotta do it!
> > >
> > > Carter explain?
> >
> > If you can a Ford the time.
>
> Hoover-y well then, but I can't be too long. Eisenhour late for a date
with
> my girlfriend, Rose Velt, already.

Have you gotten her on her Bax?

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43E97D20...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Swearing: Ring that says bad words.
> >
> > Tearing: A ring that comes apart.
> >
> > Veering: A ring off course.
> >
> > Warring: A violent ring.
> >
> > Watering: A wet ring.
> >
> > Wearing: Ring clothing.
>
> A Jammy MacIntosh, perhaps?

Computer sleepwear?

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43E97F4B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Hamfist: To be punched out by a pig.
> >
> > Magnetic: An attractive tic.
>
> Horse-shoe magnet: Used to capture equines.

C Horse: Soggy equine.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43EC1584...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Automotive: Why the car killed.
> >
> > Carnivore: A meat eating car.
> >
> > Carpet: What cars like to rub.
> >
> > Car Pool: Where cars swim.
> >
> > Cartoon: A musical car.
> >
> > Karma: My mother the car.
> >
> > Carisma: My mother the hypnotic car!
> >
> > Carson: Son of Karma or Carisma.
> >
> > Honda, Mazda: Possible fathers of Carson.
> >
> > Carting: Ringing automobile.
>
> Audi!!!
>
> Well dry it then! If you can't find a rag, use your Hondapants!

Carter: Presidential car.
nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42B6CDBE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Fertilize: Lies about reproduction.
> >
> > Sterilize: Lies about antibiotics.
>
> Penny's ill in bed again?
> >
> > Utilize: Lies about a tribe of Native Americans.
> >
> > Compromise: Lies about socialist ladies of the evening.
> >
> > Lilacs: Flowers that prohibit you from fibbing.
>
> Gladiola: Cash corruptly paid to a DJ just to make him happy.

DJ: Demon on the radio.

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 15:17:52 +1300, "Apple Betty"
<apple...@xtra.co.nz>
> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >
> >"J. A. Mc." <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> >news:8knktvgasdek0es0c...@4ax.com...
> >> On Sat, 13 Dec 2003 09:13:58 +1300, "Apple Betty"
<apple...@xtra.co.nz>
> >> found these unused words floating about:
> >>
> >> >
> >> >"J. A. Mc." <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> >> >news:h4vjtvsaoh0kgfbpb...@4ax.com...
> >> >> On Fri, 12 Dec 2003 15:44:36 +0530, Amisax
<why.woul...@mail.com>
> >> >found
> >> >> these unused words floating about:
> >> >>
> >> >> >
> >> >> >> When I talk to my tree, it leaves...
> >> >> >
> >> >> >Did you try a trunk call ?
> >> >>
> >> >> Can't, she's on a branch line.
> >> >>
> >> >Wrong. I haven't even twigged.
> >> >
> >> Yew can say that, bud!
> >>
> >Suffering secateurs! Thistle have to do while I'm pining.
> >
> Pining? ... Fir what? Douglas ???

Alpine: What Gore did in 2000.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4317DCCF...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4024A598...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Crossing: A musical religious symbol.
> > > >
> > > > Hissing: Song made by a snake.
> > > >
> > > > Icing: A frozen song.
> > > >
> > > > Massing: A heavy song.
> > > >
> > > > Missing: A girl who can't carry a tune.
> > > >
> > > > Musing: A singing cow or cat.
> > > >
> > > > Passing: A musical mountain path.
> > > >
> > > > Passing: Sung by cars as they pass each other.
> > > >
> > > > Rising: A song that makes you soar. Also levitating wheat.
> > > >
> > >
> > > Online yeast: e-leven.
> > >
> > > Abasing: Sound made by well-known Scanty Knavian pop group.
> > >
> > > Abasing: Ol' man river.
> > >
> > > Accusing: Buskers entertaing a line of people outside a theatre.
> > >
> > > Arousing: A loud argument in an opera.
> > >
> > > Brusing: Drunk who's had too much singing.
> > >
> > > Causing: Musical crow.
> > >
> > > Closing: Musical garments.
> > >
> > > Cursing: Musical dog.
> > >
> > > Cruising: A sea-shanty.
> > >
> > > Ceasing: Ditto.
> > >
> > > Easing: Mp3.
> > >
> > > Hosing: Musical prositiute.
> >
> > Icing: More Mp3.
>
> Icing on a cake. Well I would - but it'd go all squidgy and I'd get
> sticky
> feet!

Squidgy: Aquatic goblin with tentacles.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4317E386...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:4189B2E8...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > "Frank A. Rosenbaum" wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > "Michael Balarama" <mba...@ev1.net> wrote in message
> > > > > news:10ktmib...@corp.supernews.com...
> > > > > > at church two people from the electric company sat next to
> me..was
> a
> > > > > > shocking experience...nearly blew a fuse.
> > > > >
> > > > > I presume that they volted as soon as the service was over and
> went
> ohm.
> > > >
> > > > Re-Volt!
> > >
> > > Electrician called Stanislav: Pole Volt.
> >
> > Pole Volt: Electric Santa Claus.
>
> Accompanied by Rudolf, the LED-nosed reindeer?

What a heavy nose!

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4317E26D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >

>
> Bossa Nova: New species of dancing cow.

How Dan D!

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4317E2CD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" wrote:
> >
> > > Then "Mos" says:
> > > >Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > > >
> > > >>>>
> > > >>>> Hey, Mos is the one who thinks that he's Longfellow.
> > > >>>
> > > >>> I can supply about 30 witnesses.
> > > >>
> > > >> Shoe salesmen don't count.
> > > >
> > > >Then how do they know there are two shoes
> > > >in a box ?
> > >
> > > They keep winding it and see how many pop out?
> >
> > How does a shoe pop?
> >
> > Shooting: Musical footwear with a bang!
> >
> > Sentence: 10 pennies in jail.
>
> You get this for murder: Life Sentence.

In many states, you can get a Death Sentence, then grow old during the
appeals process! One inmate went blind during the long appeals process!

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4317E2F5...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I" wrote:
> >
> > > Then "Frank A. Rosenbaum" says:
> > > >> Then "Frank A. Rosenbaum" says:
> > > >>>"Greg Evans" <mis...@larkbooks.com> wrote in message
> > > >>>>> "nemo" <ne...@naughtylust.wet> wrote in message
> > > >>>>>> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > >
> > > >>>>>>> Why did the man take a pencil to bed?
> > > >>>>>>> To draw the curtains.
> > > >>>>>> If he had though himself to actually be the curtains, he should
> > have
> > > >>>>>> pulled himself together!
> > > >>>>> He did, but he draped himself over the bed. By the way, the mans
> > name
> > > >>>>> is Rod.
> > > >>>> Did it comforter him to do that, or was it a result of some sort
> > of
> > > >>>> ambi-valence about his purpose in life?
> > > >>>Well, Sheet, Greg, Ya gotta ask Rod. I was blind when he did it.
> > Don't
> > > >>>forget to take your pill, Oh, also don't forget your inhaler
> > either.
> > > >> Do you two have a room? I'm hearing shades of a one nightstand.
> > > >
> > > >No, we don't. He wanted to roller in the hay, but I told him that I
> > wasn't
> > > >pulled that way.
> > >
> > > I guess he missed his window of opportunity to see the light.
> >
> > Lighting: Low mass bell.
> >
> > Opportunity: Tea that knocks.
>
> Opportunaty: A kangaroo's fish supper.

Christianity: Religious tea.

Sheila Dundee wrote:

> fredm...@the.PC wrote:
> > "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote in message
> > news:<3faca554$0$3791$afc3...@news.optusnet.com.au>...
> >> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >>> On Thu, 6 Nov 2003 18:33:54 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> >>> <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating
> >>> about:
> >>>
> >>>> fredm...@the.PC wrote:
> >>>>> whee...@tns.net (mike wheeEler) wrote in message
> >>>>> news:<3fa88...@127.0.0.1>...
> >>>>>> In article <vsjfqvsc77hsnhd5i...@4ax.com>,
> >>>>>> mam...@watering.hole, Buffalo Chialkt was looking at the world
> >>>>>> oddly when:
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>>
> >>>>>>> The grateful coffee farmer offered me a bag of dark roast, but
> >>>>>>> as a county extension agent I can't accept that kind of perk.
> >>>>>>
> >>>>>> Yeah... day after day... always the same old grind...
> >>>>>
> >>>>> I wouldn't accept that kind of dark roast pork..er.. perk in a
> >>>>> bag.
> >>>>
> >>>> On what grounds?
> >>>>
> >>> He's afraid of the brew (ha-ha) it would start. Espresso(ly)
> >>> forbidden in his contract.
> >>
> >> He'd become an instant has-bean!
> >
> > Maybe, but I hear he's still hot in Java, where he was Born-eo.
>
> Borneo?? I didn't know he was a short black! So, was he born on the
> Froth of July?

May the 4th be with you!

Lettuce March 4th 4 Whirled Peas!

"fredm...@the.PC Z" wrote:

> ne...@naughtylass2.wet (nemo) wrote :
>
> >Pan head: Screw used to hold handles onto cooking utensils. Cheese
> head: Screw that holds mousetraps together. Countersunk: Used in flooded
> shops. Round head: Screw that holds Oliver Cromwell together. Instrument
> head: Holds the keywork on saxophones together.
>
> >Nemo
> >(Anyone noticed that he's got the colour scheme of a Clown Fish?)
>
> > Shit head : Screw used to prevent back sides from opening at
> inopportune times.
>
> Phillips' Head : Ornamental British screw, used solely by QE2.
>
> Pot Head : Screw with missing threads that usually turns into a...
>
> Dead Head : Totally useless screw, before and after Jerry Garcia's
> death.
>
> Fred's Head : Loose screw, used solely for entertainment purposes.

Lettuce Head to the vegetable isle!

Head of cattle: Moo screw.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4317E2DB...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Then "Mos" says:
> > >Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > >> On 3 Nov 2004 00:36:15 -0600, "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I"
> > >> <tonworth...@SexMagnet.com> wrote:
> > >>
> > >>>>>>>> Alan, where have you been hiding? You haven't posted much
> > >>>>>>>> lately.
> > >>>>>>>
> > >>>>>>> Living the life that I do have outside Usenet. You should
> look
> > >>>>>>> for one, too.
> > >>>>>>
> > >>>>>> Don't mention your life outside of Usenet! Last time all the
> > >>>>>> rocking, howling and head-banging almost tipped the bus over!
>
> > >>>>>
> > >>>>> Yeah. I still have a headache from it.
> > >>>>
> > >>>> Be glad the bus was short. If it had been a long
> > >>>> bus, the bonk on the head would make the ache
> > >>>> last longer.
> > >>>
> > >>> Is that the long and the short of it? I mean about Larry?
> > >>
> > >> Hey, Mos is the one who thinks that he's Longfellow.
>
> See, Mos? That's an Integrated Circuit.

A court that's been desegregated?

Desegregate: Demon that puts the races together.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4317DD06...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:40307A11...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Comcast: Computerized actors.
> > > >
> > > > Steelcast: Robot actors such as The Terminator.
> > >
> > > Arnie playing a gardener: The Germinator.
> >
> > Also Arnold playing a doctor.
>
> Well a pathologist anyway.
>
> The Exterminator: Arnie signing on at the Labour Exchange.

Where he would X-tinguish himself with distinction?

Aiming: Chinese vase #1.

Aping: Bell #1.

Beaming: Chinese vase #2. Contains buzzing insects.

Beating, Beeping: Bells #2: Contains buzzing insects.

C-Ming: A vase that seems to have lots of salt water.

D-Ming: Demonic vase.

R-Ming: Weapons vase.

T-Ming: Beverage vase.

Aiming: Chinese vase #1.

Aping: Bell #1.

Beaming: Chinese vase #2. Contains buzzing insects.

Beating, Beeping: Bells #2: Contains buzzing insects.

C-Ming: A vase that seems to have lots of salt water.

D-Ming: Demonic vase.

R-Ming: Weapons vase.

T-Ming: Beverage vase.

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On Fri, 05 Dec 2003 03:57:26 GMT, "Cybe R. Wizard"
> <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >On Fri, 5 Dec 2003 14:09:02 +1030
> >"Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote:
> >
> >> J. A. Mc. wrote:
> >> > On Wed, 3 Dec 2003 17:49:27 +1030, "Sheila Dundee"
> >> > <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> found these unused words floating
> >> > about:
> >> >
> >> >> Cybe R. Wizard wrote:
> >> >>> On Wed, 03 Dec 2003 00:00:26 GMT
> >> >>> "john czarnuszewicz" <jac...@worldnet.att.net> wrote:
> >> >>>
> >> >>>> People who die find themselves in a grave situation.
> >> >>>>
> >> >>> I once had a girlfriend like that. Of corpse, you cadaver.
> >> >>
> >> >> I wasn't very inter -ested in this thread because I don't
think
> >> >you> are really in urn-est.
> >> >> (Sorry to pick vault )
> >> >>
> >> > Bury good ... Itching to reply, but it was just a crypt tick.
> >>
> >> I guess that must keep you a wake.
> >>
> >Is it just me, or does anyone else think this thread is getting to
> >cairny?
> >
> Just a bit of Art ...

Painting: A bell that hurts.

Stan Kegel wrote:

> PUNS OF THE WEAK for the week ending 12-20-04

>
> What do you call a single Korean flatfish spirit?
> A sole Seoul sole soul. (Jim Ertner)

Does it wear shoes with soles, and listen to soul music?

Randolf Richardson wrote:

> "Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
>
> > Bussing: Singing mass transit vehicle.
>
> Busted: Transporting a guy named Ted.
>
> > Busting: Ringing mass transit vehicle.
>
> Buster: A specific woman's upper-torso.
>
> > Nimbus: Cloudy mass transit vehicle.
>
> Firebolt: Transit vehicle with heated seating.
>
> > Omnibus: All encompassing mass transit vehicle.
>
> I hope the Judge throws the "book" at you for that one because it's so
> close
> to the actual definition.
>
> > Rumbus: Drunk mass transit vehicle.
>
> Rambus: What the Rumbus became.
>
> > Transitory: British Conservative mass transit.
>
> Transitable: A table on wheels.

Rambus: Transports male sheep.
nemo wrote:

> After putting 6ft of good, rich, mineral-based soil on his land, a farmer
> got awarded a Deep Loamer.

Loamer: Ocean of fertile soil.

Loaming: Vase of rich soil.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41C6686F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Tim Bruening wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > >
> > > > Diploma: A negotiating Mom.
> > >
> > > Diplomat: A mat that causes people to agree.
> >
> > Diplomacy: A clothing store that causes people to agree.
>
> Diplomatic: A machine that launders peace treaties.

So that we can't tell who signed them?

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41C668F4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3F93AF86...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Depress: Demon newspaper.
> > > >
> > > > Compress: Computer newspaper.
> > > >
> > > A cold compress is what you put on your head after spending all day
> sorting
> > > out a fault on a PC!
> >
> > PC: Ocean of urine.
> >
> > ET: Alien beverage.
> >
> > MT: High up beverage.
> >
> MT: Full of Empt. And when you tip it out, it's exempt.

CT: Antimatter tea.

herculles wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:<405D85A1...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > herculles wrote:
> >
> > > Wasn't Fascination what Italy was under Mussolini in the Second
> World War?
> > >
> > > bagelncr...@hotmail.com (meat n potatoes) wrote in message
> news:<1d7e07b1.0403...@posting.google.com>...
> > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:<40580B73...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > > > Damnation: A country of mother deers.
> > > > >
> > > > > Damnation: A country dependent on hydroelectricity.
> > > >
> > > > fascination.
> >
> > Tarnation: Nation of asphalt.
>
> Tim, you must be a Roads Scholar?

I'm on the E-Road.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42AC1850...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:42300070...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Molton: 2,000 pound underground mammal.
> > > >
> > > > Monastic: Parasite in a religion dormitory.
> > > >
> > > > Motile: More floor covering.
> > > >
> > > > Neaten: Clean 10.
> > > >
> > > > Neatness: Clean Loch Ness monster.
> > > >
> > > Very tidy: The River Severn.
> > >
> > > http://www.severn-bore.co.uk/default.htm
> > >
> > > Except during the first and third quarters of the moon. Then it's not
so
> > > tidy. Still quite neap though.
> >
> > Tidy: Clean neckwear.
> >
>
> Cravat: Big tub you wash ties in.

How about Thais?

Geordie the Forgery wrote:

> "Sojourner" <CuzYerMa...@ThatsWhy.cox.net> wrote in message
> news:gI16c.75$0h.7@okepread04...
> > Rowe Rickenbacker wrote:
> > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > >
> > >> Damnation: A country of mother deers.
> > >
> > >
> > > Isn't that "donation"?
> > >
> > > Rowe
> >
> > DOH!nation: A country of punmasters that make errors.
> >
> > =)
> >
> > Sojo
>
> I thought a DOH!nation would be a country full of Homer Simpson fans.
> :-))

Homing: A Simpson vase.

Homing: A vase that returns to its birthplace.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41C667E9...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3F9196EE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Orkin: Children of mineral bearing rocks.
> > > >
> > > Baring straits - non-gay strippers.
> >
> > Baring: A ring that makes you nude.
>
> Best thing to do with puns like that is to Barium!

We Argon!

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:402B0F6E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Diaper: Price of coloring.
> >
> > Hyper: Price of exaggerated advertisements.
> >
> > Perversion: Price for each kind.
> >
> > Pervert: Price of green.
> >
> > Super: Price of soup.
>
> Cheap soup: Minestrone.
>
> Expensive soup: Maxistrone.

Alphabet Soup: Soup with lots of letters.

Chicken Soup: Soup that runs away.

Pea Soup: Soup you wouldn't want to eat.
nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41822E6D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3F9765FC...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > Subscribe: Underwater clerk.
> > > >
> BTW. A scribes is calligraphers, usually religious, like what done all
those
> illuminated books like the Book of Kells etc. Don't demote 'em.
>
> > > Sublime: Underwater fruit tree.
> >
> > Sublimate: Underwater citrus tree sex.
>
> Fertiliser used on citrus plants: Lemonaid.

Abut: One arse.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41265902...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > KIMEVANS <kime...@bigpond.com> wrote in message
> > > news:WWvjc.782$TT....@news-server.bigpond.net.au...
> > > > demanded: the man dinged once too often
> > > >
> > > Demanded: Demised satanic helper.
> >
> > Remanded: Man dies again.
>
> Remanded in Custody: Man dies by falling into flavoured cornflour or
eggs
> and milk again.

Custody: Swearing amphibian.

Custody: Swearing amphibian demon.

nemo wrote:

> I used keep an eye on the price of my shares in a company making boil
> ointment by means of a bum puss ticker!

Do you have a cat-a-log of those prices?

nemo wrote:

"Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:42AC1CC2...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
>
>
> ynotssor wrote:
>
> > "Sritk" <sr...@aol.com> wrote in message
> > news:20040301132536...@mb-m03.aol.com
> >
> > > Why isn't Rhode Island surrounded by water?
> >
> > Global war-ming.
>
> War-ming: Hostile chinese vase.
>
> Hostile: Aggressive fence.
>
> Fencing: Singing barrier.

"Foiled again!" say those who the barrier stops.

Smacking: King of kisses.

mike wheeEler wrote:

> In article <20030927214019.1ea...@minesprig.com>,
> cyber_...@minesprig.com, Cybe R. Wizard was looking at the world
oddly when:
> >
> >On Sun, 28 Sep 2003 02:36:57 GMT
> >"Cybe R. Wizard" <cyber_...@minesprig.com> wrote:
> >
> >> On Sat, 27 Sep 2003 19:26:51 -0700
> >> "Sy Knight" <jblv...@yahoo.com> wrote:
> >>
> >> >
> >> > Flatulent Dingo wrote ...
> >> > >
> >> > > Hello Nick,
> >> > >
> >> > > On Thu, 25 Sep 2003, at 13:57:43 [GMT-0700] (which was Fri,
> >> > > 6:57:43 Australian Eastern Time) you wrote:
> >> > > > Aye, they are a brogish lot. One was seen aubergine.
> >> > >
> >> > > I am green with envy.
> >> > >
> >> > >
> >> > She was well, red.
> >> >
> >> So what does she charge per pull?
> >>
> >> Cybe
> >
> >Whatever it is it will make you yell, "Oh!"
> >
> Now That is a pull it surprise!

Surprise: Knight of game shows.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41C665D0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3F9767F3...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > nemo wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > > > news:3F9196EE...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > > > Orkin: Children of mineral bearing rocks.
> > > > > >
> > > > > Baring straits - non-gay strippers.
> > > >
> > > > Bearing: A ring that turns you into a bear.
> > > >
> > > Ball-Bearing. A sphere that turns you testes into those of a bear.
> > >
> > > Ball Race: Vet chasing a tom cat!
> >
> > Atom Bomb: Exploding male cat.
> >
> Tabby, or not tabby? That is the question!
>
> . . . from when Shakespear worked as a kitten sexer!

Tabby: A cat-bee.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4041E218...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Weaker: Not a strong dog.
>
> Beaker: A bird dog.

Beaker: Glass lab container dog.

Accessing: Song of entry.

Pincing: crab song

Wincing: Victory song.

"Alexander Thesoso" <alexande...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:<kSTgd.579$fw2.43@trndny01>...
> I'm a very law-abiding person. The law says that at 2:00 AM on Sunday,
> September 31, we must set our clocks back an hour.
>
> I set my alarm clock to 2:00. When it went off, I got up and set all my
> clocks back an hour. Then I went back to sleep. It seemed like just a
> short time, when the alarm woke me up. It was 2:00. I got up and set
all
> my clocks back an hour. Then I went back to sleep. The alarm woke me up.
> It was 2:00. I got up and set all my clocks back an hour. Then I went
back
> to sleep. The alarm woke me up.
>
> Help!!!!

September 31?????? Did you set your calendar back too?

Nick Hull wrote:

> In article <1151049023.2...@c74g2000cwc.googlegroups.com>,
> tsbr...@dcn.davis.ca.us wrote:
>
> > * irenic * wrote:
> > > Good morning. How many of you have lost some sleep watching the World
Cup
> > > Soccer? I had a novel idea about all that this week. It's a shame 22
grown
> > > men have to chase just one ball: why don't we provide each team with
their
> > > own ball? Both can be kicked around between the teams at the same
time. It
> > > would be much more exciting, though I guess the referees have a
difficult
> > > enough job as it is!
> >
> > I second your idea of having TWO soccer balls!
> >
>
> I came up with that idea about football 5 years ago. Think of all the
> hospital bills that could be saves by simply buying another football ;)

Why would hospital bills be saved by having two footballs in a game?

Bubi wrote:

> "piratazul9" <pirat...@houston.rr.com> escribió en el mensaje
> news:Q4S2f.17694$0c....@tornado.texas.rr.com...
> > Hello Tim,
> >
> > Your Spanish class is right.
> >
> > You eat = (ustedes) comen
> >
> > The form "(vosotros) comeis" is olde Spanish.
> >
> > It is spoken by the Iberian minority; but no by other Spanish-speaking
> > people of the rest of the world (450 million of them).
> >
> > Olde Spanish is in the process of extintion.
> >
> Paco, please do not "extint" now the English language. Leave it alive por
a
> while.

We are talking about Olde Spanish, not English.

>
>
> (FYI. Som mexicans did never pass the Spanish language exam. In revenge,
> they invented a new broken language and tried to sell it as new Spanish.
We
> suggest that you act as if you were in agreement. Be indulgent with their
> disability, poor fellows)
>
> Bubi,

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42BA6910...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:42B66F21...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > > 2 Squared: Yelled by a mathematician golfer.
> > > >
> > > "Four cough! We were here first!" a golfing doctor replied!
> >
> > Pardon: Mafia golfer.
> >
> > Caddy: Demon golfer.
> >
>
> Spaniard shot on a golf course: Hole in Juan!

I shot a hole from 5 feet away on Wednesday.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:419C3F7B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > CT: Antimatter computer.
> >
> > Easy: Electronic ocean. Internet ocean.
> >
> > EB: Internet buzzing insect.
> >
> > Electromagnetic: Parasite that produces light and is attractive.
>
> Electromechanical: A machine-oriented way of registering the votes of
a
> number of people standing in line.

Created by Diebold?

Diebold: Brave demonic election workers.

"Elisabeth Müller" wrote:

> On Sun, 25 Apr 2004 08:49:09 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
>
> >Elisabeth Müller wrote:
> >> On Wed, 21 Apr 2004 08:33:26 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
> >>
> >>> Elisabeth Müller wrote:
> >>>> On Sun, 18 Apr 2004 15:28:06 -0600, "Mos" <Not@YourHouse> wrote:
>
> >>>>> One with pygthurr much food in it.
> >>>>
> >>>> There isn't such a thing.
> >>>
> >>> There is if only one bottle of wine can fit.
> >>
> >> One point for Mos.
> >
> >One pint!?! That is not enough.....oh, wait, you said point.
> >When I get enough points, do I get a prize?
>
> A blue ribbon.

Ribbon: Part of a pastry skeleton.

"Hauke Reddmann" <fc3...@uni-hamburg.de> wrote in message
news:bqslb1$68b$3...@rzsun03.rrz.uni-hamburg.de...
> To be frankly, I only believe in computers.
> I'm a press-byte-rian.

Do you get lots of news bytes and sound bytes?

Admission: To found another church.

Commission: A computer church.

Decommission: A demonic church.

Emission: Another computer or Internet church.

Emission: Smoke stack church.

Intermission: Church that holds mass in between acts of a play.

Manumission: Church for freed slaves.

Omission: To forget a church.

Permission: Price of a church.

Remission: To refound the church.

Submission: Church for mermaids and fish.

Transmission: A church for engines and radios.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43191CB4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > David Simpson wrote:
> >
> > > On 10 Feb 2004 22:14:11 -0600, "Milton J. Smuthworthy, I"
> > > <tonworth...@SexMagnet.com> typed furiously:
> > >
> > > >
> > > >So then, David Simpson turns to the guy and says:
> > > >>
> > > >>>>>New South Wales is good. Milt could suspend himself there.
> > > >>>Can I fly there on that virgin airline?
> > > >>No, it's already been raped. Quant, as in Mary, did the dirty.
> > > >>>>Noooooo! We'll let you keep him in the manner to which he would
like
> > > >>>>to become accustomed.
> > > >>>I could get accustomed to flying around with virgins. I might even
> get
> > > >>>my wollon gonged.
> > > >>>
> > > >>That would be a pain in the butt as they pricked it with the pin.
> > > >
> > > >Well that's it for my Oz material. Would you mind moving to New
Jersey?
> > > >
> > > Yes. I would mind.
> >
> > Minding: Brain bell.
>
> Cerebellum: Musical hind-brain.
>
> Cerebrum: Fore-brain from Birmingham UK.
>
> Medulla Oblongata: One's less brightly-coloured mis-shapen upper-leg
> decoration.

Cerebra: Smart breast covering.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:433EFC9F...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Combat: Aggressive electronic flying mammal.
> >
> > Comcast: A computer play.
> >
> > Comcast: Computers fishing.
> >
> > Comfort: Computer military base.
> >
> > Comfortable: How to say "Come for the bull" quickly.
> >
> > Commit: Computer glove.
> >
> > Coming: Computer Chinese vase.
> >
> > Communist: Red computer.
>
> Republican: Someone who obsessively returns to a British bar to drink beer
> out of the tin.

Vulcan: Logical tin with pointed ears.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:433EFCA5...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Commode: Mode of a computer.
> >
> > Commode: Computerized toilet.
> >
> > Communion: Organization of computer employees.
> >
> > Compact: A squeezed computer.
> >
> > Compare: Computer fruit.
> >
> > Compare: Two computers.
>
> Comparison: The male offspring of an inhabitant of the French capital
who's
> very good with PCs.
>
> Inhabitant: A formicida dressed as a monk.

Or a nun?

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:433F07B6...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Igloo: Frozen toilet.
> >
> > Moppet: Pet that cleans floors.
>
> (Careful. Accordion to a documentary years ago, that's pædophile slang for
a
> pre-teen child. How downright disrespectful and offensive can they get?)
>
> > Strumpet: Domestic Animal playing a Guitar.
>
> Floozy: Strumpet with a nasty winter bug. (A cockroach wearing a fur coat
> that smacks you in the mouth!)

Floozy: Zombie with a nasty winter bug.
herculles wrote:

> Wasn't Fascination what Italy was under Mussolini in the Second World
War?
>
> bagelncr...@hotmail.com (meat n potatoes) wrote in message
news:<1d7e07b1.0403...@posting.google.com>...
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:<40580B73...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > Damnation: A country of mother deers.
> > >
> > > Damnation: A country dependent on hydroelectricity.
> >
> > fascination.

Damnation: A nation doomed to go to Hell in a handbasket.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42AA8F49...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Handkerchief: Tissue dog used to blow nose.
> >
> > Hijacker: Terrorist dog.
> >
> > Hiker: Dog who is stoned.
> >
> > Junker: Garbage dog.
> >
> > Kicker: Dog who scores field goals and extra points in football.
> >
> > Knickerbockers: New York dog? Dog pants?
> >
> > Looker: A dog with its eyes peeled for trouble.
>
> That'd let all the humour out!
> >
> > Meeker: Humble dog.
> >
> > Mocker: Another pretend dog.
>
> Docker: Another pretend honest aristocrat.
>
> (Lady Docker. Turned out she was a compulsive shoplifter and the shame
of it
> made her kill herself in the end. [I don't mean she stabbed herself in
the
> bum!] When they searched her house they found 2000 shops in it!)

Docker: A medical dog.

Dockers: Shoe dogs.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:42A95319...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> >
> > > On Sun, 9 May 2004 23:40:13 -0400, "Greg Evans"
> > > <gregIGN...@charter.BLATHER.net> wrote:
> > >
> > > >Larry Krzewinski wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> Have you ever tried to say no to the Department of Defense?
> > > >
> > > >I find it's much easier to deal with the Department of Degate
> > instead.
> > >
> > > In your case, yes. I've heard that you have often been given
Degate.
> >
> > How about the Department of Veterans Affairs?
> >
> > Curvet: Former Dog soldier.
> >
> > Velvet: Cloth soldier.
> >
> > Vetting: Army bell.
> >
> We have a veteran run down to Brighton once a year.

Brighton: A heavy light.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43EC0778...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Forcer: In favor of knights.
> >
> > Forcing: In favor of song.
> >
> > Former: In favor of oceans again.
> >
> > Fornicate: In favor of sex.
>
> Or in favour of what the devil eats.

Such as devilfood cake?

herculles wrote:

> Wasn't Fascination what Italy was under Mussolini in the Second World
War?
>
> bagelncr...@hotmail.com (meat n potatoes) wrote in message
news:<1d7e07b1.0403...@posting.google.com>...
> > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:<40580B73...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > Damnation: A country of mother deers.
> > >
> > > Damnation: A country dependent on hydroelectricity.
> >
> > fascination.

Tarnation: Nation of asphalt.
Robin May wrote:

> hercul...@yahoo.com (herculles) wrote the following in:
> news:3c88f7e9.04031...@posting.google.com
>
> > What do you get if you mix a fella with Horatio?
>
> A fella she owes. But who is she that owes the fella and what does she

> owe him?

Don't go Russian off to pay that fella without more info.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41C6688B...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > nemo wrote:
> >
> > > Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:3F93AFC0...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Tim Bruening wrote:
> > > >
> > > > > Comply: Wooden computers.
> > > > >
> > > > > Compact: Small computers.
> > > > >
> > > > > Compact: A computer treaty.
> > > >
> > > > Commune: Leftist computer.
> > > >
> > > Commodore: Love of computers.
> > >
> > > Commodor: Smell of computers.
> > >
> > > Combone: Computer controlled, slide tuned, brass instrument.
> >
> > Commute: Silent computer.
>
> Compress: Numerically-controlled Hoffmann.

Companion: Computer helpmate.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41C662AD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> >
> > Abbey Normal wrote:
> >
> > > "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > news:41C4E98E...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > > >
> > > >
> > > > Bob Crowley wrote:
> > > >
> > > >> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> > > >> news:<40DEC5AA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > > >> > Concave: Against spelunking.
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Content: Against camping.
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Contrail: Against hiking.
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Contour: Against French bicycle races.
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Produce: A supporter of Italian dictator Mussolini.
> > > >> >
> > > >> > Protect: Favoring innovation.
> > > >>
> > > >> bipartisan - artist with hair parted in the middle
> > > >>
> > > >> bicycle - use twice only
> > > >>
> > > >> bipolar - compass with north and south
> > > >>
> > > >> binary - 2 canaries
> > > >>
> > > >> bimetallic - very heavy metal band
> > > >
> > > > Biplane: Bisexual flying machine.
> > >
> > > Everyone has their own idea of what a little trim is.
> >
> > Trimming: A cut Chinese vase.
> >
> Narr. It's a Chinese pudding bason that bad barbours put on customers'
heads
> and cut round to get an even edge instead of doing a proper short bacon
> sides..

Trimmer: Ocean of Christmas decorations.

Trimming: Chinese vase containing same.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43EC0815...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Sticker: Twig of dogwood.
> >
> > Sticker: Glue dog.
> >
> > Stocker: Inventory dog.
> >
> > Vicar: Canine religious leader.
> >
> > Volker: Fedoral Reserve dog.
>
> You keep felt hats with creased crowns in a reserve guarded by dogs??

No, I keep them in a cat guarded reserve.

nemo wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:43EC091A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >
> > Igloo: Frozen toilet.
> >
> > Moppet: Pet that cleans floors.
> >
> > Strumpet: Domestic Animal playing a Guitar.
>
> Flamenco: A Spanish factory on fire.

Flamming: Chinese vase on fire.

Rowe Rickenbacker wrote:

> Tim Bruening wrote:
>
> > Damnation: A country of mother deers.
>
> Isn't that "donation"?

That would be a nation of female deer, including those that aren't
mothers.

nemo wrote:

> The greatest man ever??
>
> It's obvious.
>
> Attila the Pun!

Hunting: Attila's bell.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:41C6630A...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Hell! I'm 10,666 messages behind!
> >
> Take the four most significant digits and your behind will be at the
Battle
> of Hasting!
>
> Then you'll need a pair of Joan Armour-trousers for it!
>
> And keep away from the railway. After all - you don't want to put your
arse
> on the line!

Behind: Arse of a bee.

"J. A. Mc." wrote:

> On 17 Mar 2004 20:42:57 -0800, dontbotherm...@hotmail.com
(Hylander)
> found these unused words floating about:
>
> >Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
news:<40580B73...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> >> Damnation: A country of mother deers.
> >>
> >> Damnation: A country dependent on hydroelectricity.
> >
> >A nation of damsels in distress.
>
> Damsels: Broker for used water containment systems.

Damming: Chinese vase that blocks rivers.

Randolf Richardson wrote:

> "Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>" wrote in alt.humor.puns:
>
> > nemo wrote:
> >> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in
> >> message news:402C93DD...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> >>
> >>> Amusing: Singing comedian.
> >>>
> >>> Bemusing: Singing bee poet.
> >>>
> >>> Ceasing: Singing mermaid.
> >>>
> >>> Musing: Singing exotic subatomic particle.
> >>>
> >>> Tracing: Singing flat dish container.
> >>
> >> Poncing: Singing band of nerve fibres/fibers linking the
> >> medulla oblongata and the cerebellum with the midbrain.
> >>
> >> Oblongata: Worn by a girl with very funny-shaped legs.
> >
> > Wincing: Singing in pain.
> >
> > Fencing: Singing foils.
> >
> > Rolling: Baby pastry.
> >
> > Polling: Baby citizen of Poland, or a baby opinion survey.
>
> Parsing: Balanced vocals.
>
> Probing: A professional sound effect for pinball machines.

Parsing: Golfing songs.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:4041E204...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Booster: Spinning ghost.
> >
> > Caster: Spinning splint for a broken limb.
> >
> > Coaster: Rotating water/land interface.
> >
> > Mister: Female at a mixing bowl.
> >
> > Shyster: Spinning con man.
> >
> > Rooster: Spinning kangaroo.
>
> Keyster: Locksmith with a fat arse!

Bankster: Spinning financial institution.

Banister: Spinning stairs.

Barrister: Spinning lawyer.

Gangster: Spinning organized crime.

Runester: Spinning ancient writings.

Tankster: Spinning weapons system.
S Day: A day to celebrate books about agriculture, since the Library of
Congress uses S for such books.
S Day: When we celebrate snakes, sows, sirens, squash, spam, and Spain.

Broker: Dog with no money.

Broker: Dog at the NYSE.

Chalker: Blackboard dog.

Cocker: Dog-rooster crossbreed.

Cocker: Dog penis.

C-ding: Bell that sows seeds in the sea.

C-ping: Bell that leaks salt water.

C-ting: Musical chair in the ocean.

D-ming: Chinese vase #4.

E-ting: Hungry bell on the Internet.

P-Ping: Bell #16, serves as a toilet.

T-Ming: Chinese vase #20, contains a stimulating beverage.

Planker: Wooden dog.

Recur: Dog comes again.

Seeker: Oceanic dog.

Seeker: Dog who searches.

Smacker: Dog who slaps people.

Basheba: Two female sheep for ewe!

Basing: Singing wolves and military bases.

Bracing: Singing donkeys.

Facing: Singing head.

What do short sighted ghosts wear?

Spook-tacles.

What do short sighted Vulcan ghosts wear?

Spock-tacles.
Ascending: Rising bell.

Descending: Falling bell.

Reduce: The tennis game is tied again.

Reduce: Mussolini is back in power.

Subtract: A train underwater.

Duction: The process of becoming a duck.

Conduct: Against ducks.

Conduction: Against becoming a duck.

Reduction: To become a duck again.

Subtraction: How a sub pushes off against the ground.

Duct Tape: Used to tape together broken ducks.

Duct Tape: Recording of duck calls.

Logfile: Files kept in a fallen tree.

Log Jam: Jam from said fallen tree.

Paper Jam: Jam from a printer.

Weblog: Made by a spider living in a fallen tree.

Webber: Cold Internet.

Robin May wrote:

> Tom Staight <use...@templeofdreams.net> wrote the following in:
> news:rXNWb.5280$MQ1....@news-binary.blueyonder.co.uk
>
> > Tim Bruening wrote:
> >
> >> IMHO, a Truman commission should be set up to monitor U.S.
> >> military spending.
> >
> > I agree.
>
> If it was anything like the Hutton Inquiry it would just rubber stamp
> everything to add an appearance of legitimacy.

Hutton: A very heavy cottage.

Mutton: A very heavy sheep dog.

Counties: Teas drunk by mathematicians and accountants.

Counties: Teas drunk by Count Dracula.

Hyper: Price of plane tickets.

Albright: A shining former Secretary of State.

Prancer: Reindeer knight.

Dasher: Another reindeer night.

Oncidium, on Prancer!

Capacities: Teas drunk by electricians.

Hogun: Garden tool that's a weapon.

Bester: Spinning SF writer.

Bester: Spinning Psi Cop on Babylon 5.

Vaccuming: Vase that sucks.

Zooming: Fast moving Chinese vase.

Zooming: Vase with lots of animals inside.
This Wednesday, the Big 5 Sporting Goods had yet another Shoe Blowout!

Sublight: A type of underwater beer.

Budlight: Beer from a young leaf or flower.

Percy: Price of an ocean.

Permit: Glove price.

Perot: Price of a canoe or row boat trip.

Contraband: Music making Nicaraguan rebels.

Contrabass: A member of the Contraband.

Contradance: The Ollie North shuffle.

Confessor: Priestly knight.

headdr wrote:

> "Tim Bruening" <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:405BE65D...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Able: 1 bull.
> >
> > Double: 2 bulls.
> >
> > Parable: 2 more bulls.
> >
> > Noble: Zero bulls.
> >
> > Tremble: Bull at the San Andreas Fault.
> >
> Comfortable: To give Toro some solace when he is sad.
> Inflatable: To pump up a bull who has gone flat.
> Debatable: To argue with the damn thing.
> Compatible: An invatation to enter the corral and show some affection.

Table: A bull to eat off of.

Strange Lad wrote:

> "NottNick" <nmm6...@bellows.org.uk> wrote in message
news:c2q8ri$hcn$1...@titan.btinternet.com...
> > I've been a member of this group for a while now and realise I'm not the
> > only Nick.
> > So I'm now NOTTNICK.
> > :-)
> >
> So am I
>
> Strange NotNick

Nottingham: Not a pig.
Autobiography: Life story of a car.

Pepper: Price of a pick me up.

Peract: Price of part of a play.

Percent: Price of a penny.

Perforate: Price of holes.

Permute: Price of silence.

Person: Price of a male kid.

Perspirate: Price of sweat.

Perspire: Price of the top of the church.

Permission: Price of the entire church.

"Ghost of the Ex New Mr. Humor" wrote:

> Q: What beverage did the late conductor of the Chicago Symphony
Orchestra
> drink when he visited Harlem ?
>
> A: Soul tea!!!
>
> HH: Soul tea. Sol-ti. The late Sir George Solti was the conductor of
the
> Chicago Symphony Orchestra. You eat soul food (and soul tea) in
Harlem. Get
> it??? Ha ha ha!!!

Sole Tea: Tea from shoes.

Boot Rear: A drink that kicks you in the arse.

Cialis: Ocean that gives you a woody.

Lee Entrekin (ha...@mindspring.com) wrote on 1995-03-20 04:28:19 PST:
>
>
> In article <1995Mar18.1...@kuhub.cc.ukans.edu>
wanh...@falcon.cc.ukans.edu (MAY WANHAMID) writes:
> >Subject: Re: Defaming Vegetables
> >Bill Hosking (bi...@gn2.getnet.com) wrote:
> >: I'm not much at writing puns but thought this might be "seed"
material
> >: for those of you who do so regularly....
> >: The Arizona Senate just passed out of committee a law making it a
crime
> >: to defame vegetables...(its the truth!!)
> >Yam sorry. Too late to squash it eh?
> >Maryam
>
> Would this be like battered onion rings?

Don't cast asparagus on your opponents!

I suffer from Asparagus Disorder.

Some suffer from Lime Disease.

"Cybe R. Wizard" wrote:

> On Sun, 18 Jul 2004 13:41:08 +0930
> "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote:
>
> > "Cybe R. Wizard" <Cybe_R_Wizard@WizardsTower> wrote in message
> > news:20040717215140.2a215eba@WizardsTower
> > > On Sun, 18 Jul 2004 11:31:22 +0930
> > > "Sheila Dundee" <Co...@optusnetXCAPS.com.au> wrote:
> > >
> > >> "J. A. Mc." <jaS...@gbr.online.com> wrote in message
> > >> news:10eif0d795i0tttg9...@4ax.com
> > >>> On 17 Jul 2004 12:38:44 GMT, Hauke Reddmann
> > ><fc3...@uni-hamburg.de>>> found these unused words floating
about:
> > >>>
> > >>>> Didn't like Puss'N'Boots. He acted like a heel.
> > >>>> (But what do you expect from a cad.)
> > >>> Stick 'em in a cel ! Dis ney'ds no background.
> > >>
> > >> Well, if the dream works for you! (not that I'm a green with
you,
> > >or> anything)
> > >>
> > > I'd love to know what you are talking about but don't know where
the
> > > Pixar.
> >
> > I can draw my own conclusions from this post - I'm being framed!!!
> >
> You said that as if it matted.

Transmat: A floor covering that teleports people.

Framing: Chinese vase that makes false accusations.

Steve wrote:

> On Fri, 19 Mar 2004 23:47:46 -0700, "Fish Eye no Miko"
<fis...@deadmoon.circus>
> put together some random words that came up with:
>
> >Tim Bruening wrote:
> >> Lobby: A bee that buzzes Congress for special favors.
> >>
> >> Dobby: A house elf bee that buzzes around Hogwarts.
> >
> >Two bees or not two bees?
> >That is the question.
> >
> >Catherine Johnson.
>
> Lobby: An insect that tosses softballs around.

Beeming: A bee Chinese vase.

Beating: A bee bell.

Beeping: Another bee bell.

nemo wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbr...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in message
> news:40B0A8F4...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us...
> > Advent: We need more ventilation.
> >
> > Advent: Insert angry rant.
> >
> > Adverse: Add a song.
> >
> > Adverse: Singing comercial.
> >
> > Convent: Against angry rants.
> >
> > Convent: A ranting criminal.
> >
> > Converse: Against singing.
> >
> > Contract: Against railroads.
> >
> > Enginuity: A locomotive driver's pension.
>
> The air-conditioing engineer is working overtime.
>
> Ven? Till late?

How chilling.

Chilling: Cold Chinese.

Heating: Hot Chinese.

Warming: Mildly hot Chinese vase

Abel: A ringing name.

Alert: Be alert, we need more lerts.

Client: A needy ant.

Dependent: Another needy ant.

Defendant: Ant on trial.

Cancer: A knight of small metal containers.

Capricorn: Bounding maize.

Tunafish: Musical fish.

Dolphins: Dolls in the sea.

Subwoofer: Musical dog under the ocean.

Stirring: Ring that sends you into a spin.

Poland: A nation of polar bears, bi-polar bears, public opinion polls,
and tall cylinders.
Pumpkin: Children of the well.

Turkey: Opens a Turlock.
To improve relations between the West and the Arab world, I propose that
the sophomore classes of the West (U.S., Canada, Western Europe,
possibly Japan) be exchanged for the sophomore classes of Arab nations.
In this way, Westerners would be exposed to and thus understand Arab
culture, and Arabs would be exposed to Western culture, including
democracy. This would spread the virus of democracy throughout the
Middle East, pulling the rug out from under Islamic fundamentalists.
Tom is going on a trip and taking a tent.
Happy T Day, a day to celebrate books about technology, since the
Library of Congress uses T for technology books.
Coun-Tree: A very big tree!

Sen-Tree: A guardian tree.

Tapis-tree: A tree where magic tapestries grow.

Relief: What deciduous trees do in the spring.
Happy T Day, 16 days after D Day.

Aclari-Tea: A tea that makes you speed up. Another such tea is
Veloci-Tea.

Activi-Tea: A tea that makes you active.

Clari-Tea: A tea that clears your mind.

Dir-Tea: Filthy tea.

Eterni-Tea: A tea that makes you immortal.

Immortal-Tea: Same as above.

Gravi-Tea: A heavy drink that really weighs you down.

Honest-Tea: A tea that makes you tell the truth.

Liabili-Tea: A tea that enables you to lie.

Nas-Tea: A mean tea.

Passitivi-Tea: A tea that sedates you.

Personalit-Tea: A tea that changes your character.

Securi-Tea: A tea that makes you invulnerable.

Sinceri-Tea: A tea that makes people believe you.

Tas-Tea: A very tasty tea.

Tes-Tea: A tea that makes you short tempered.

Tree-Tea: A tea drunk by diplomats at peace treaty signing ceremonies.

Vitali-Tea: A tea that brings you back to life.
Uzziah is going on a trip and taking a unicorn.
Happy U-Day, 17 days after D Day, a day to celebrate books about armies,
since the Library of Congress uses U for such books.
Time to write a U-logy for our democracy?
V Day: A day to celebrate V-Nus, V-Hicles, and V-Hix dot com.
Happy V Day, 18 days after D Day, and a day to celebrate the Navy, since
the Library of Congress uses V for books about the Navy.

Be-V, Che-V, Da-V, Day-V, Gra-V, Hea-V, I-V, Le-V, Lev-V, N-V, Na-V,
Ner-V, Per-V, Rev-V, Wa-V.
V Day: A day to meet a masked victim of medical experiments who sought
to overthrow a dictatorial government in Great Britain. I don't know
how he distributed all those masks without being caught.

I would like you to meet the following vampires:

AV: Audio vampire.

Bev V: A female vampire.

Chev V: A vampire car. Other vampire cars include Humvees and SUVs.

Cur V: Vampire dog.

Dave V: A male vampire.

Day V: A vampire immune to sunlight.

DVD: Demon-vampire recording device.

En V: A jealous vampire.

EV: Electrical vampire.

Gra V: Vampire that pours blood on its meat.

Gray V: Vampire who was an old person before being turned.

Groo V: A cool, hip vampire.

Heav V: An overweight vampire.

IV: A plant vampire.

JV: A flying blue vampire.

JV: Jewish vampire.

Moo V: A vampire cow that shows moving pictures.

Na V: Vampire ship.

Neigh V: Vampire horse.

RV: Recreational vampire.

Sa V: Clever vampire.

Scur V: Vampire that makes teeth fall out.

SUV: Suburban vampire.

TV: Vampire that transmits images.

UV: Ultra Vampire.

VCR: Vampire Cassette Recording.

VD: Vampire demon.

VHS: Vampire High School.

V-Nus: Vampire planet.

Wa V: Vampire surfer.

Way V: Way out vampire.
On Mon, Apr 16 2001 11:07 am, "alohacyberian" <alohacyber...@att.net>
wrote:

> Tim Bruening <tsbru...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us> wrote in article
> <3AD957D0.4E1FA...@pop.dcn.davis.ca.us>...
> > Atro-City: A city full of human rights abuses.

> > Compli-City: Its inhabitants condone the activities in the Atro-City.

> > Electri-City: A very energizing city.

> > Velo-City: A very fast city.

> Tenacity: City with 10 burroughs. KM

Burrough: Chilly horizontal line.

[nemo]

Eccles: But I don't want to put my hands up all those who thought it was a
binary! They'll get all smelly!