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Old but good - may offend!
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flatula...@deadspam.com
May 20, 2013, 2:09:26 AM5/20/13
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One day, sobbing uncontrollably, Rivkah rings her mother.
"Oh mummy," she cries, "I've got some terrible news to tell you." "Oh
my poor bubbeleh," says her mother, "so tell me already. What is it?"
"Harry and I are getting divorced," replies Rivkah. "Nu? So why is
this?" asks her mother. "I'm divorcing Harry because all he wants from
me is sex, sex and yet more sex. Sex is on his mind from morning to
night. Sometimes, he even forces me to have sex with him, even when I'm
too tired to stay awake. Oh mummy, I just can't take it any more. Not
only am I suffering mentally, but I'm suffering physically as well."
"What do you mean by 'suffering physically'?" asks her mother. "Well
when Harry and I first got married," replies Rivkah, "my vagina was the
size of a 10p coin. But after all the sex he demands from me, it's now
the size of a 50p coin."
When her mother hears this, she says to Rivkah,"OK bubbeleh, so let me summarise
the situation as I see it. On the positive side,
ONE: You married a multi-millionaire and you currently live in a ten bedroom mansion in
Golders Green complete with indoor swimming pool, outside tennis court
and 10 acres of garden.
TWO: You and Harry both have your own cars -
yours, I know, being a Lamborghini Gallardo.
THREE: You get £5,000 a week allowance from Harry to spend on anything you want.
FOUR: You and Harry are able to regularly take at least four holidays every year.
And FIVE: You also have 6 servants to help maintain your home.
But on the negative side, your vagina has increased in size from 10p to 50p.
So nu? Are you really telling me that you are willing to divorce Harry,
and give up all of the positives, for just 40p?"
"Oh mummy," she cries, "I've got some terrible news to tell you." "Oh
my poor bubbeleh," says her mother, "so tell me already. What is it?"
"Harry and I are getting divorced," replies Rivkah. "Nu? So why is
this?" asks her mother. "I'm divorcing Harry because all he wants from
me is sex, sex and yet more sex. Sex is on his mind from morning to
night. Sometimes, he even forces me to have sex with him, even when I'm
too tired to stay awake. Oh mummy, I just can't take it any more. Not
only am I suffering mentally, but I'm suffering physically as well."
"What do you mean by 'suffering physically'?" asks her mother. "Well
when Harry and I first got married," replies Rivkah, "my vagina was the
size of a 10p coin. But after all the sex he demands from me, it's now
the size of a 50p coin."
When her mother hears this, she says to Rivkah,"OK bubbeleh, so let me summarise
the situation as I see it. On the positive side,
ONE: You married a multi-millionaire and you currently live in a ten bedroom mansion in
Golders Green complete with indoor swimming pool, outside tennis court
and 10 acres of garden.
TWO: You and Harry both have your own cars -
yours, I know, being a Lamborghini Gallardo.
THREE: You get £5,000 a week allowance from Harry to spend on anything you want.
FOUR: You and Harry are able to regularly take at least four holidays every year.
And FIVE: You also have 6 servants to help maintain your home.
But on the negative side, your vagina has increased in size from 10p to 50p.
So nu? Are you really telling me that you are willing to divorce Harry,
and give up all of the positives, for just 40p?"
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