Laugh at the French!
Beef
COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE
Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the
next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of
all things, an Italian.
Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female
schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of
French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when
NOT led by a Frenchman."
Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only
country to ever lose two wars -- when fighting Italians.
Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.
Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant,
but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis
that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flower
pots as chapeaux.
The Dutch War - Tied.
War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian
War -Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces
deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the
height of French military power.
War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the
French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have
loved ever since.
American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar
to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English
colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle
Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare;
"France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent
was also French.
The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the
First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being
no match for a British footwear designer.
The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of
drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by
the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's
like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call
her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American
forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United
States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel
Song.
War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to
bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a
western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades,
and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always
beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of
the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish,
Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history,
surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to
surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in
a McDonald's.
==============================
Q: What's the difference between a puppy and a Frenchman?
A: A puppy has a mind of it's own.
* Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? One hour
later and you're whining about America again.
Q: Why are so many French born by C-section?
A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole?
Q: Why do the French have huge heads?
A: To accommodate their huge mouths.
Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a
kitchen in France?
A: Linoleum blownapart...Oh No! Ze joke iz too, how you
say? Violent. We protest!
Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else?
A: The quiche of death.
Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
A: So the Germans could march in the shade.
Q: How may gears does a French tank have?
A: 6, five reverse gears and 1 forward gear in case
someone attacks them from behind.
FOR SALE:
French Army rifle -- Never fired, only dropped once.
France is implementing a new national flag
- white cross on a white background.
John
wrote:
Right on the the rotten shits, they would lay down if a boy scout
troup invaded them!
David Lloyd-Jones
>On Sun, 16 Feb 2003 08:04:23 -0800 (PST), be...@steerclear.net (Beef)
>wrote:
>
<two bits of jingo nonsense snipped>
Americans seem awfully fast to forget that it was France taking the
colonists' side during the Revolution that made the Americans' victory
over George III possible.
-dlj.
Douglas D. Anderson
"David Lloyd-Jones" <d...@rogers.com> wrote in message news:3E4FCAA1...@rogers.com...
Instrumental perhaps but not absolutely essential. Also instrumental
was the fact that England was getting some distracting abuse from
Spain. But only an idiot general would not take advantage of such
circumstances. In Afghanistan we employed the Northern Alliance
in our war on the Talliban. George Washington was no idiot. Our
victory over the Brits would have happened without France, it may
have been engaged a bit differently and taken a few more years,
but Brits got their ass kicked in 1812, despite the Canadians doing
some damage to the Capitol. The English claim that no one won the
war of 1812, but the Treaty of Ghent tells otherwise- there the Brits
officially recognized American independence and sovereignty. You
might say the Revolution actually ended there.
nyangel
Charlie Bress
"What have you done for me lately"
"David Lloyd-Jones" <d...@rogers.com> wrote in message
news:3E4FCAA1...@rogers.com...
Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)
in alt.tasteless.jokes:
>On Sun, 16 Feb 2003 08:04:23 -0800 (PST), be...@steerclear.net (Beef)
>wrote:
>Right on the the rotten shits, they would lay down if a boy scout
>troup invaded them!
>>
>> COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE
The French government du jour has implemented a new policy of keeping
surrender forms at all border crossings, already filled out. The
invader need only sign the form to make it official. Saves time.
--
V.G.
"Useful idiots follow suit. Artist my ass; I went to
grade school." - Allen L. Barker explains everything.
(This sig file contains not less than 80% recycled SPAM)
Sarcasm is my sword, Apathy is my shield.
Robbi
ab...@altopia.com ab...@google.com u...@FTC.gov postm...@127.0.0.1
"Beef" <be...@steerclear.net> wrote in message
news:3fr03939ig...@steerclear.net...
>
> COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE
>
They say that Eskimos have 28 words for "snow." The French have 28 words for
"surrender."
Pepijn Ornstein
Make wine not war?
"Robbi" <robb...@netscape.net> wrote in message
news:FBU3a.15423$P1.12...@news1.east.cox.net...
Nick Foxall
one sole victory which British troops weren't involved in anyway, even
though this battle was won by a hairs width with 80% of the American effort
being wiped out.....
Americans also seem to take everything thats on the Discovery Channel or
what comes out of their hotheaded presidents mouth as the gods honest
truth....
PS I'm not French nor would I try to "stick up for them" but your little
story seems to be riddled with flaws and Americanised Bullshit.
"David Lloyd-Jones" <d...@rogers.com> wrote in message
news:3E4FCAA1...@rogers.com...
Douglas D. Anderson
"Nick Foxall" <ma...@nickf.co.uk> wrote in message
news:c7V3a.7804$FP3....@news-binary.blueyonder.co.uk...
> America seem awfully quick to forget their minimal efforts in WW1 and only
> one sole victory which British troops weren't involved in anyway, even
> though this battle was won by a hairs width with 80% of the American effort
> being wiped out.....
>
> Americans also seem to take everything thats on the Discovery Channel or
> what comes out of their hotheaded presidents mouth as the gods honest
> truth....
>
> PS I'm not French nor would I try to "stick up for them" but your little
> story seems to be riddled with flaws and Americanised Bullshit.
>
>
>
As with many provincial back-woods limeys, you seem to not take into
consideration that the United States had no diect interest in WWI, and
that many American lives were lost defending foreign lands we could
have done just as well without. We could have traded with 'England' and
'France' just as well if they all spoke German.
Nick Foxall
Nothing to do with the ability to take colonies from Britain and France (and
of course Germany) for the pleasure of handing over Troops, Supplies and
Vehicles.
The US saw what was up for grabs when Germany was in decline and had to put
another finger in the European-Pie.
Even the suggestion that Americas contributions during both Wars was for
ethical reasons is laughable.
"Douglas D. Anderson" <d...@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
news:xeV3a.77683$Xr1.17...@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
nuxgpwk
> So they did it out the good of their hearts?
>
> Nothing to do with the ability to take colonies from Britain and France
(and
> of course Germany) for the pleasure of handing over Troops, Supplies and
> Vehicles.
>
> The US saw what was up for grabs when Germany was in decline and had to
put
> another finger in the European-Pie.
>
What was up for grabs from Germany which America got?
Balderdash, my friend, simple anti-American balderdash.
nuxgpwk
Greg Evans
> Americans also seem to take everything thats on the Discovery Channel or
> what comes out of their hotheaded presidents mouth as the gods honest
> truth....
You Brits are all alike - you think we Americans are all alike!
Douglas D. Anderson
> So they did it out the good of their hearts?
>
> Nothing to do with the ability to take colonies from Britain and France (and
> of course Germany) for the pleasure of handing over Troops, Supplies and
> Vehicles.
>
> The US saw what was up for grabs when Germany was in decline and had to put
> another finger in the European-Pie.
>
> Even the suggestion that Americas contributions during both Wars was for
> ethical reasons is laughable.
Despite the fact that Jews control the media and give the impression
America is all about money and the stock market, that is far from the
truth. America, despite its quasi agnostic scientific techno philosophy,
was founded by and is still largely driven by, Protestants and Protestant
ethics, mostly Calvinist, Presbyterian and Baptist. During W.W.I, prior
to America's entry in the war, thousands of zealous American youths
were going to Canada to join the Canadian forces, to fight in "The Great
War". You express contempt for Americans learning much from Discovery,
and yet judge us by the Jewish run tabloid media. Yes, our entry in the
Great War was largely motivated by zealous ethics, America was like that
and still is, despite the ugly money and market image seen in the Jewish
media. About the only gain I am aware of from our entry into the Euro wars
was that Goodyear acquired the patents for Dirigible aircraft from Zeppelin,
and today we have the Goodyear blimp bringing high altitude video of football
games. We deserve something for our efforts after all.
>
> "Douglas D. Anderson" <d...@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
> news:xeV3a.77683$Xr1.17...@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
> >
> > "Nick Foxall" <ma...@nickf.co.uk> wrote in message
> > news:c7V3a.7804$FP3....@news-binary.blueyonder.co.uk...
> > > America seem awfully quick to forget their minimal efforts in WW1 and
> only
> > > one sole victory which British troops weren't involved in anyway, even
> > > though this battle was won by a hairs width with 80% of the American
> effort
> > > being wiped out.....
> > >
> > > Americans also seem to take everything thats on the Discovery Channel or
> > > what comes out of their hotheaded presidents mouth as the gods honest
> > > truth....
> > >
> > > PS I'm not French nor would I try to "stick up for them" but your little
> > > story seems to be riddled with flaws and Americanised Bullshit.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >
> > As with many provincial back-woods limeys, you seem to not take into
> > consideration that the United States had no direct interest in W.W.I, and
Larry Krzewinski
Iceberg, Goldberg; what's the difference?
Ted Smith/Jennifer Gauthier
"nuxgpwk" <nux...@fish.net> wrote in message
news:VUV3a.19229$zL6....@news2.central.cox.net...
Paul
Ted Smith/Jennifer Gauthier <esm...@kingston.nospamnet> wrote in message
news:v50oufr...@corp.supernews.com...
Not in 1919. The British and the French divided the African German colonies
between them. Same thing in the Middle East with the Turkish possessions.
While in the Far East, the British, French and Japanese divided up the
German colonies there. The US got bupkis. ..... Now after WWII, that is a
different story.
David Lloyd-Jones
>Not in 1919. The British and the French divided the African German colonies
>between them. Same thing in the Middle East with the Turkish possessions.
>While in the Far East, the British, French and Japanese divided up the
>German colonies there. The US got bupkis. ..... Now after WWII, that is a
>different story.
>
>
Folks,
I find all this jingo and revanchist horseshit really unpleasant and
low-rent -- but the historical ignorance displayed iritates me almost as
much.
The American kids involved apparently don't know about the American
conquest of Mexico in the 1840's, taking away Arizona, New Mexico,
Colorado, and half a dozen other states. After the Spanish-American War
America took over the Philippines semi-permanently and Cuba intemittently.
Under the Guano Islands Act of 1899 the US took over most of the islands
in the Pacific, and later got this confirmed by the League of Nations
even though they were only semi-active in it. (Since this is a humour
group, I report with sadness that Bush is not paying Blair off by giving
Hawaii back, another of those 1899 little things...)
America's big deal in WWI was it made a fantastic profit on it.
The profitability of WWII is a little more clouded. E.g., Focke-Wulf,
the guys who brought you the fokker that wasn't a Messerschmidt, was a
subsidiary of the US ITT. They banked the profits as long as America
wasn't in the war -- and then after the war was over they got repaid by
the US taxpayer for the fact that the company was American property that
had gotten bombed flat during the war. A small cheque for America, a
major leap for American business...
I won't dwell long on the fact that America's involvement in WWII in
Europe came about because Germany declared war on the US, and not the
other way around.
* * *
I think the world is grateful to the US for its role in WWII, but that
wasn't in conquering the Germans. The Germans were smashed at horrendous
cost by the mighty Red Army.
What FDR and the US defeated was the British Empire, forcing its
dismemberment and dissolution step by step from the destroyers for bases
deal in 1940 up through Eisenhower sticking it to Anthony Eden in 1957.
This was America at its best, and decent people throughout the world are
grateful for it.
* * *
Pity George Bush seems to be headed in the opposite direction these days.
-dlj.
ur_droll
"Ted Smith/Jennifer Gauthier" <esm...@kingston.nospamnet> wrote in message
news:v50oufr...@corp.supernews.com...
: "nuxgpwk" <nux...@fish.net> wrote in message
That and the technical data on all the unethical experiments
that hitlers mad scientists were carrying out on animals (jews)
and human prisoners
The Return of Mel
wrote in message <dcf05v45j2ebt2b3g...@4ax.com>:
Hi Arno.
alt.humor.jewish added back.
your method does not work. will never work.
--
smash yer modem, reboot, kill yerself
When your life goes into the shitter there's only one thing you can do:
WIPE & FLUSH!
and then find a new way to live. :-)
nuxgpwk
"David Lloyd-Jones" <d...@rogers.com> wrote in message
news:3E507A6E...@rogers.com...
Ah, the Marxist viewpoint, at last.............along with the inevitable
shot at the President.
The Red Army had shown its back to the Germans years before. Without British
and American warmaking skill, the Russians would be speaking German today.
America destroyed the industrial might and the Russians mopped up and raped
everybody in sight (those they didn't make slaves or simply murder.)
nuxgpwk
Leon
World War I song the"doughboys" brought back from Europe. In "Mademoiselle
From Armentieres (Parlez-vous?)", there are at least fifty versions of "The
French, they are a filthy race, parlex-vous?"
Some have to do with deviant sexual preferences, some with body hygeine,
some with the propensity for making a franc at any cost and under any
humiliating circumstance.
Other versions refer to the body odor that makes the French troops, who are
incapable of fighting and proud of it, deadly to their captors because when
they raise their arms in surrender, the armpit odor overwhelms their
captors, bad teeth, "easy" women and untrustworthiness.
All this did not arise without some facts to justify the villification.
And we have not addressed the readiness with which most of France accepted
German orders to round up the "dirty Jews" in the replay of French surrender
to the Germans that took place in World War II.
The French, they are indeed a filthy race.
Leon
Greg Evans
> The French, they are indeed a filthy race.
Humans...they are indeed a filthy species.
nuxgpwk
"Greg Evans" <greg...@charter.net> wrote in message
news:v51surd...@corp.supernews.com...
> Leon wrote:
>
> > The French, they are indeed a filthy race.
>
> Humans...they are indeed a filthy species.
>
>
You must be a PETA Nazi to so mark humankind.
nuxgpwk
Greg Evans
> > > The French, they are indeed a filthy race.
> > Humans...they are indeed a filthy species.
>
> You must be a PETA Nazi to so mark humankind.
Nope, just clear-eyed and observant.
Greg
curmudgeonly as well...hey, it's Monday
Leon
>
> > The French, they are indeed a filthy race.
>
> Humans...they are indeed a filthy species.
One of the recurrent science fiction themes is the quarantine of the
inhabitants of Earth from leaving our solar system, enforced by a galactic
community that regards us as vermin. "They kill each other. They foul their
planet, its air, its water. They watch as others die of starvation, thirst
and disease that they can easily prevent. They are predators."
Another theme is the hypothesis that the big bang theory is correct, having
occurred over and over. This time, however, the Universal Intelligence has
created Mankind and finds it a big mistake. Too many errors in the genetic
makeup. And the decision is made to let this faulty creation destroy itself,
and start all over.
I wish I could find it in my heart to disagree with Greg, but I cant.
Leon
nuxgpwk
"Leon" <words...@att.net> wrote in message
news:w294a.39672$rq4.3...@bgtnsc05-news.ops.worldnet.att.net...
"To really grow as a person, we must be at the mercy of people who think and
act totally differently from us. We will then be forced to view life from
entirely different perspectives, to truly understand the wisdom and beauty
of how all humans being tick. When we reach this point, we will not only see
G-d in our image. We will see ourselves - and all of mankind - in G-d's
image."
Pirkei-Avos, Copyright (c) 1999 by Rabbi Dovid Rosenfeld and Project
Genesis, Inc.
Your thought and Greg's are political, not ethical.
nuxgpwk
Spitfire
>
> What was up for grabs from Germany which America got?
Porn and cheap hookers,....in boots.....
--
Spitfire
You done yet?
Spitfire
.....they're told to believe that.....
Lone Wolf
<d...@rr.rochester.com> wrote:
>today we have the Goodyear blimp bringing high altitude video of football
>games. We deserve something for our efforts after all.
Very droll!
Timo Kiravuo
> The Red Army had shown its back to the Germans years before. Without
> British
> and American warmaking skill, the Russians would be speaking German
> today.
While the Soviet Union certainly got valuable material help from the USA
through the British, the general opinion seems that after the initial
German assault was contained, the Soviet armies could keep the enemy at
bay. And after the war factories at Ural started to produce equipment, the
Soviet's victory was assured. Russia has always been a large and populous
country rich in raw materials and after the German assault they went to
total mobilization and war preparedenss, something that the Germans did not
do until later in the war.
To Soviets "retreat and wait until winter" is not showing your back to the
enemy but a time tested strategy.
The allied bombings never succeeded in disrupting the German industrial
production and the terror bombings of the cities were of rather
questionable military value.
By the time of the landings to Normandy the war can be considered already
won by the Soviets.
BTW: the war materials sent to Soviet Union were also used against my home
country, Finland. So the Americans should not be surprised if not all
Europeans think of them as liberators or feel especially thankful.
Also recieving help from somebody does not make you morally bound to accept
everything that person does. So Europe does not have to accept all wars
that the USA gets itself into, even if the Americans assisted most of the
Europe during WWII and I. While nobody thinks that Saddam Hussein is a nice
guy, not everybody thinks that going to war and killing a bunch of people
is the best solution to the problem he presents.
ObJoke: After Israel drove the Syrians back in the Six Day War, a meeting
was held in Damascus to find the fault in the Syrian planning. The generals
could not understand what happened, since they had been following to the
letter the instructions of their Soviet trainers: "retreat and wait for
winter".
kiravuo
Leon
"nuxgpwk" <nux...@fish.net> wrote >
> "To really grow as a person, we must be at the mercy of people who think
and
> act totally differently from us. We will then be forced to view life from
> entirely different perspectives, to truly understand the wisdom and beauty
> of how all humans being tick. When we reach this point, we will not only
see
> G-d in our image. We will see ourselves - and all of mankind - in G-d's
> image."
>
>
> Pirkei-Avos, Copyright (c) 1999 by Rabbi Dovid Rosenfeld and Project
> Genesis, Inc.
>
> Your thought and Greg's are political, not ethical.
"Ethical" as in "conforming to the standards of conduct of a group" or as in
"having to to with ethics or morality"? Is my belief that mankind has not
fulfilled God's expectations political, or an ethical comment on the unGodly
actions of so many members of mankind?
"To be at the mercy of people who think and act totally different from us"
did, indeed, force the Jews in Nazi camps and the Jews in Arab lands to
"view life from entirely different perspectives." How many survivors were
elated to have understood "the wisdom and beauty of how all human beings
tick?" Did they see God in the image of the guards, the capos or the SS? And
if they did, how could they have anything but love for these less-than-human
individuals whose mercy condemned them to suffering.? I think Rabbi
Rosenfeld and you ask too much.
Project Genesis is another subject that merits some realistic exploration.
Leon
Lone Wolf
wrote:
> COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE
While we are on at that, I lifted this from the Daily Telegraph,
London, today.
I will also post later on how we (in Australia) feel about the French.
Human shields arrive in Baghdad
By David Blair in Baghdad
(Filed: 17/02/2003)
Squabbling peace activists were recovering from a chaotic overland
journey yesterday after limping into Iraq aboard two London buses, a
day late for the worldwide series of anti-war demonstrations.
Three double-deckers, all crammed with "human shields", had set out
from London on Jan 25 to reach Baghdad in time for the day of global
protests. But only two of them, with 65 activists, including 18
Britons, made it to the Iraqi capital late on Saturday.
The third was abandoned in Italy after breaking down. Everyone crammed
aboard the others, one of which had to be dug out of snow drifts near
Istanbul. Several activists dropped out on the way.
The rest endured bitterly cold weather, illness, poor living
conditions and a great deal of bickering. When they arrived at Iraq's
border with Syria on Friday, Iraqi officials held them overnight,
which made them miss Saturday's peace demonstration in Baghdad.
"There were lots of group squabbles," said Benjamin Joffe-Walt, 23, an
American paramedic. "Very few people knew each other. I did not know
any of them and it was difficult to organise it. There were lots of
different ideas on when to go to bed, how long to spend on the bus."
The activists, aged from 20 to 68, slept in cheap hotels, youth
hostels, tents or on the buses.
Ken O'Keefe, their informal leader and a former American marine,
burned his US passport and designed himself new travel documents
proclaiming him a "Citizen of the World". As a result, he was detained
in three countries. Mr O'Keefe has yet to arrive in Baghdad and Mr
Joffe-Walt last heard of him in Syria.
A blonde Norwegian activist created a sensation in Turkey and her
picture appeared on the front pages of several tabloids. A typical
headline read: "Who would bomb this angel?" Mr Joffe-Walt said: "It
was not exactly the kind of coverage we were hoping for."
Peter Vandyke, a self-styled "reiki master and spiritual healer" from
Portsmouth, drove a London taxi with the convoy. He described the
journey as "horrific" and said: "A lot of people are really sick. They
have been sleeping on the buses in sub-zero temperatures."
Mr Vandyke, 38, served in the Royal Navy for eight years and believes
that there is no terrorist threat to Britain. Tony Blair was
"deliberately terrorising his own people", he said.
Among the British contingent is a married couple, Helen and Kevin
Williams, 34-year-old vegans from Newport, south Wales. They kept
strictly to their diet throughout the bus journey. "It was very
important to us," said Mrs Williams, who wore a T-shirt saying,
"Animal Killers, close them down."
Mr Vandyke said the group would camp inside hospitals, schools, power
stations and other buildings "needed for basic human living".
He said the presence of vegans and spiritual healers would shield the
buildings from harm if war broke out.
Saddam Hussein's regime, which normally admits westerners with great
reluctance and treats them with deep suspicion, has granted the human
shields three-month visas and given them freedom to go where they
wish.
nuxgpwk
"Timo Kiravuo" <kir...@nixu.fi> wrote in message
news:3E512B9A...@nixu.fi...
> nuxgpwk wrote:
> > The Red Army had shown its back to the Germans years before. Without
> > British
> > and American warmaking skill, the Russians would be speaking German
> > today.
>
> While the Soviet Union certainly got valuable material help from the USA
> through the British, the general opinion seems that after the initial
> German assault was contained, the Soviet armies could keep the enemy at
> bay. And after the war factories at Ural started to produce equipment, the
> Soviet's victory was assured. Russia has always been a large and populous
> country rich in raw materials and after the German assault they went to
> total mobilization and war preparedenss, something that the Germans did
not
> do until later in the war.
>
> To Soviets "retreat and wait until winter" is not showing your back to the
> enemy but a time tested strategy.
Right. Like the French, hands in the air, are always using a time tested
strategy.
Without Roosevelt and Churchill, the Red Army becomes the Yellow Army. They
surrendered in 1917, they would have surrendered in 1942. I'm happy they
didn't, else the war might have cost more American lives, but it is
sophistry to give these dictators, like Stalin and Saddam Hussein almost
g-dlike powers. Their people hate them, their armies hate them. The
dictators gain power by the unwillingness of free people to stand up to them
bacause of "peace" considerations. Chamberlain comes to mind. Had the French
simply stood up to the occupation of the Rheinland, as was their right under
treaty, Adolf would have been known for the man who made trains run on time
in Germany and invented the concept of the Volkswagen.
nuxgpwk
Paul
> >
> >Not in 1919. The British and the French divided the African German
colonies
> >between them. Same thing in the Middle East with the Turkish possessions.
> >While in the Far East, the British, French and Japanese divided up the
> >German colonies there. The US got bupkis. .....
>
the
> previous take-over of the Philippines gave the Japanese the comfortable
feeling
> of being surrounded, sorry protected, by the Americans.
The Japanese looked to control raw materials for its industries. Indonesia
(Dutch East Indies) for oil; Manchuria and Korea for iron, Malaysia
(British) for rubber; not to mention China for food.
The pre-war Japanese culture was militaristic and expansionist. With the
British tied up in a European war, only the US had naval power to block
Japanese expansion. However, recall that the US was decidedly not on a war
footing prior to December 7, 1941, despite bases in Guam (Spanish-American
War), Philippines (Spanish-American War) and Hawaii. What former German
colonies, did the US get in the Pacific, which it used to "surround" Japan.
nuxgpwk
"Paul" <Pa...@nopsam.com> wrote in message
news:bzb4a.174059$i73.39...@twister.neo.rr.com...
Cincinatti.
nuxgpwk
Paul
Don't you mean Zinzinnati????
Bill Bickel
overlook this comic: http://www.ucomics.com/danasummers/2003/02/13/
Bill Bickel
http://www.comicsidontunderstand.com
http://www.findlacipeterson.com
"Beef" <be...@steerclear.net> wrote in message
news:3fr03939ig...@steerclear.net...
>
> COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE
>
> Gallic Wars - Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the
> next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of
> all things, an Italian.
>
> Hundred Years War - Mostly lost, saved at last by female
> schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of
> French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when
> NOT led by a Frenchman."
>
> Italian Wars - Lost. France becomes the first and only
> country to ever lose two wars -- when fighting Italians.
>
> Wars of Religion - France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots.
>
> Thirty Years War - France is technically not a participant,
> but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis
> that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
>
> War of Devolution - Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flower
> pots as chapeaux.
>
> The Dutch War - Tied.
>
> War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian
> War -Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces
> deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the
> height of French military power.
>
> War of the Spanish Succession - Lost. The War also gave the
> French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have
> loved ever since.
>
> American Revolution - In a move that will become quite familiar
> to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English
> colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle
> Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare;
> "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
>
> French Revolution - Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent
> was also French.
>
> The Napoleonic Wars - Lost. Temporary victories (remember the
> First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being
> no match for a British footwear designer.
>
> The Franco-Prussian War - Lost. Germany first plays the role of
> drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
>
> World War I - Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by
> the United States. Thousands of French women find out what it's
> like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call
> her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American
> forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
>
> World War II - Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United
> States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel
> Song.
>
> War in Indochina - Lost. French forces plead sickness, take to
> bed with the Dien Bien Flu.
>
> Algerian Rebellion - Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a
> western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades,
> and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always
> beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of
> the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish,
> Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
>
> War on Terrorism - France, keeping in mind its recent history,
> surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to
> surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in
> a McDonald's.
>
> ==============================
>
> Q: What's the difference between a puppy and a Frenchman?
> A: A puppy has a mind of it's own.
>
> * Heard about the new French-Chinese wine? One hour
> later and you're whining about America again.
>
> Q: Why are so many French born by C-section?
> A: Ever try to get a square head through a round hole?
>
> Q: Why do the French have huge heads?
> A: To accommodate their huge mouths.
>
> Q: What do you get when you toss a hand grenade into a
> kitchen in France?
> A: Linoleum blownapart...Oh No! Ze joke iz too, how you
> say? Violent. We protest!
>
> Q: What do French mobsters fear more than anything else?
> A: The quiche of death.
>
> Q: Why did the French plant trees along the Champs Elysees?
> A: So the Germans could march in the shade.
>
> Q: How may gears does a French tank have?
> A: 6, five reverse gears and 1 forward gear in case
> someone attacks them from behind.
>
> FOR SALE:
> French Army rifle -- Never fired, only dropped once.
>
> France is implementing a new national flag
> - white cross on a white background.
>
>
The Return of Mel
wrote in message <flp15vkmf5d96riki...@4ax.com>:
>On Mon, 17 Feb 2003 12:35:23 +0200, The Return of Mel <m...@adderleystreet.co.za>
>, wrote:
>>Hi Arno.
>>ahj added back.
>>your method does not work. will never work.
>it is kind of silly to say "will never work".
>In this specific case, yours is the first one of about 13 where it did not.
would you like me to pray for your salvation in Jesus Name?
The Return of Mel
message <Bf94a.25474$zL6....@news2.central.cox.net>:
>>>>The French, they are indeed a filthy race.
>>>Humans...they are indeed a filthy species.
>>One of the recurrent science fiction themes is the quarantine of the
>>inhabitants of Earth from leaving our solar system, enforced by a galactic
>>community that regards us as vermin. "They kill each other. They foul
>>their planet, its air, its water. They watch as others die of starvation,
>>thirst and disease that they can easily prevent. They are predators."
>>Another theme is the hypothesis that the big bang theory is correct,
>>having occurred over and over. This time, however, the Universal
>>Intelligence has created Mankind and finds it a big mistake. Too many errors
>>in the genetic makeup. And the decision is made to let this faulty creation
>>destroy itself, and start all over.
>>I wish I could find it in my heart to disagree with Greg, but I cant.
>>Leon
>"To really grow as a person, we must be at the mercy of people who think and
>act totally differently from us. We will then be forced to view life from
>entirely different perspectives, to truly understand the wisdom and beauty
>of how all humans being tick.
humans are desperately wicked. we are all sick, to some degree.
>When we reach this point, we will not only see G-d in our image. We will see
>ourselves - and all of mankind - in G-d's image."
if you want to see God, you can.
ur_droll
"The Return of Mel" <m...@adderleystreet.co.za> wrote in message
news:mtk25vs9m0f3kf20v...@4ax.com...
: On Mon, 17 Feb 2003 11:48:58 -0500, Arno Martens <sne...@sympatico.ca>
: wrote in message <flp15vkmf5d96riki...@4ax.com>:
: >On Mon, 17 Feb 2003 12:35:23 +0200, The Return of Mel
<m...@adderleystreet.co.za>
: >, wrote:
: >>Hi Arno.
: >>ahj added back.
: >>your method does not work. will never work.
: >As it has worked well over the last 5 years with plenty of jerk posters,
: >it is kind of silly to say "will never work".
: >In this specific case, yours is the first one of about 13 where it did
not.
:
: would you like me to pray for your salvation in Jesus Name?
no..... but I would like a crocodile sandwich.......
and as I'm in a hurry..... could you make it snappy
Douglas D. Anderson
"Bill Bickel" <bill...@optonline.com> wrote in message
news:gzc4a.386990$HG.69...@news4.srv.hcvlny.cv.net...
<Arno Martens clicks on send....>
Mordecai!
nuxgpwk wrote:
I hear your words.
However I also see what you did to Timo Kiravuo, and also what you tried to do with both Greg, and Leon.
When words and actions disagree, I believe actions.
I do hope you are between the ages of 18 and 24 - your responses are typical of that age group. That is a
survival mechanism for that stage of life. I hope you are not a 42 year old who has never matured.
Unfortunately for me, it does not matter. No matter the obvious psychology and the inevitable repercussions of
your OWN ACTIONS, I can do nothing to help you. I hope you outgrow this. But cannot help you if you do, or if
you don't.
I cannot even direct you to the knowledge or wisdom you need to deal with your problem - as you have so
plainly displayed to everyone your desires and your deeds - which leaves me powerless to do anything except
obey the Tanach - refuse to listen to one who uses these tools as you use them.
I have told you now, publicly that I refuse to listen to one such as you because of the laws of gossip and
slander.
With great sadness and a heavy heart, plonk.
Sigh. Another idiot set on self destruction. WHY? Oh don't bother ... it has happened before, will happen
again and they get the short term gain and they pay the long term cost and they will never equate the
inevitable repercussions of their own actions to the cause ... and die alone in the strife and turmoil they
sow all the days of their lives. What a waste of a human ... Oh it makes me depressed.
-----------== Posted via Newsfeed.Com - Uncensored Usenet News ==----------
http://www.newsfeed.com The #1 Newsgroup Service in the World!
-----= Over 100,000 Newsgroups - Unlimited Fast Downloads - 19 Servers =-----
Mordecai!
You OBSERVED that a poster was not interested in having this post on his NG.
You CHOSE to force this on him - mocking him. Not because it was pertinent to the NG but because you wanted to
a) prove you had the power to get it back.
b) Prove you had the ability to try to make someone unhappy.
Deeds -What you did was to push yourself into someone's face to prove you could, and you stated this was your
motive.
Methodology was to mock someone - so I know your methodology and your desires.
Why was because you could. It is more important to you to prove that you could than to be kind to another
person.
You might have the power to do this - but I seriously question two things.
1) if you really do like hurting others to prove to yourself and others that you can.
2) if you want to have a goal in life that others fear you just because you are able and willing to hurt
another.
I think you need to sit back and think about who you really want to be, someone kind with friends - or someone
powerful who everyone fears.
At least you are not so self destructive as another poster - who I am sure will think I gave an unwarranted
attack and wonders what is the matter with me. Everybody else will immediately see the problems with this
poster - but of course this poster will be quite blind to it.
You at least have the chance to choose - unlike this other person.
Who and what do you really want to be? Your choice.
It is hard to change - but it is harder not to change and to bear the consequences of your actions.
ur_droll
Greg Evans
> I hope you are not a 42 year old who has never matured.
Hey, don't knock it until you've tried it!
Greg
42 going on 8 (don't let the bald spot fool you)
nuxgpwk
nuxgpwk
"Mordecai! @ace.net.au>" <"mldavis<pleasenospam> wrote in message
news:3E517135...@ace.net.au...
The Mad Jesuit
"ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message
news:L0%3a.91846$F63.1...@news.xtra.co.nz...
>
> "Ted Smith/Jennifer Gauthier" <esm...@kingston.nospamnet> wrote in message
> news:v50oufr...@corp.supernews.com...
> :
> : "nuxgpwk" <nux...@fish.net> wrote in message
> : news:VUV3a.19229$zL6....@news2.central.cox.net...
> : >
> : > "Nick Foxall" <ma...@nickf.co.uk> wrote in message
> : > news:0BV3a.8574$FP3...@news-binary.blueyonder.co.uk...
> : > > So they did it out the good of their hearts?
> : > >
> : > > Nothing to do with the ability to take colonies from Britain and
> France
> : > (and
> : > > of course Germany) for the pleasure of handing over Troops, Supplies
> and
> : > > Vehicles.
> : > >
> : > > The US saw what was up for grabs when Germany was in decline and had
> to
> : > put
> : > > another finger in the European-Pie.
> : > >
> : >
> : > What was up for grabs from Germany which America got?
> : >
> : > Balderdash, my friend, simple anti-American balderdash.
> : >
> : Werner Von Braun and the Space program perhaps?
>
> That and the technical data on all the unethical experiments
> that hitlers mad scientists were carrying out on animals (jews)
> and human prisoners
>
Those were WWII. The discussion up to this point was WWI. Stay on topic.
---The Mad Jesuit
ur_droll
"The Mad Jesuit" <mad_j...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
news:pEi4a.119932$Gm2.3104398@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
:
: "ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message
Hey dickhead...... we were talking about the discovery channel
and the garbage that comes out of bushes arsehole when he speaks
and prior to that the subject was 'fucked up french poofta's'.
it was the poofta part that attracted you wasn't it?
Anyway if you would care to take the time to pull yer head outta your
arse and look around before you start farting off about the discussions
in previous posts, you will find the following reference.......
"Even the suggestion that Americas contributions during both Wars was
for ethical reasons is laughable"
Mordecai!
ur_droll wrote:
> Wow...... you're just chocka full of shit... aren't ya
No - I was merely asking myself the following questions.
What did he do ... well that was clear.
How did he do it - well that was clear too.
Why he did it -well he told me that also.
So I know what his desires were - I listened to him.
Nothing very hard about it ... you sit back and listen. The people always tell you.
There was a bit more to the analysis telling me that most of what he did was based on cultural imperatives
which he had not thought about. I decided to discuss the ideas with him - including short, medium and long
term consequences.
I know - this is suppose to be joke site - isn't it? And people really ought to "obey the rules" and keep on
topic?
Perhaps it is a bit rude of me when someone insists on thrusting a simple psychological problem in my face and
instead of berating him that it is a joke site, I respond to the psychological problem he has presented to me.
Oops - it was MY fault. It is OK to be a troll, but not OK to help a fellow human being.
Golly gosh. I am fill of shit. Imagine HELPING someone.
Go back to sleep. I break all the rules - and get my way. People actually talk, listen and think around me.
They all attack me for "breaking the rules." Of course, when they start finding real humans and talking and
learning and developing, they themselves stop the trolls.
Because they like it like that. Try it. Try talking and listening for once in your life. Imagine a real
conversation without the BS and the false masks hiding who you are. Try being vulnerable - with the
possibility you can be hurt, and also being real.
But the real question for you is why do you want to keep "the return of Mal" in a mask. I usually find this
type of behavior in a codependent situation when the parties involved get their sexual and/or emotional kicks
from the dependency arrangements one has on the other.
So is this a sexual or psychological bonding you have with "the return of Mal?"
Oh dear - have I a wicked sense of humour.
The machismo cultural idea requires me to attack you without provocation so you can bear your teeth at me and
call you some derogatory name, and vice versa and we sit snarling at one another and thus we both have
machismo and have the respect of the fellow males - and the admiration of the girls. We can stand up and be a
man because we followed the cultural rules of machismo ...
Of course I am challenging the validity of machismo - by not playing by its rules. Which is the joke of
course.
Now - machismo relies on respect because you can bluff someone or put someone down. You might not be
intelligent, rich, witty or have any worth while - but your ability to appear strong. And it is a facade ...
underneath you remain frightened, weak and doing the best you can when the situation is difficult.
What is reality? The respect of others that you can bluff them? Or who you are - the real you. Are you
respected for who you are, or for your place in the pecking order. Are your deeds things you would like your
friends to honor, or do you boast of those things because you think that will give you respect amongst them?
This is the fundamental question I raised with "the return of Mal" though of course I never bothered with the
psychological BS.
Now ... as all this is "full of crap" ... you have to explain why it is full of crap - and your audience who
you are trying to please - is waiting with held breath - on the one hand eager to see my pulled to the dust by
you ... and on the other hand eager to see their champion pulled down into a heap and another champion rise
up.
Aren't you aware of that? Part of machismo, the king is dead - long live the king.
It is a real bastard when you learn THAT lesson - the defeated hero.
Do you really want to fight?
You know what? I couldn't care less. How about I declare you a winner?
There you are - the winner by default.
Isn't being a winner SOOO wonderful?
I think you have the message. I do not play machismo - do not give two cents for your opinion - and I am doing
things I want to do - which is helping others. This includes you by telling you that you are responding to
machismo and it is a stupid, silly and worthless concept.
If you want to play games - go right ahead.
But it is a game and I know it is a game and now you know it is a game.
I prefer the older games - the upper class were "genteel" because they could stir a cup of tea and not let the
spoon clink against the side of the tea cup. How GENTEEL. At least this was an art learned when you could not
find anything better to do with your life. Pointless? Sure.
Just as pointless as your game.
ur_droll
:
:
<excuse me for a bit>........
BWUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
<sorry you were saying?>
: Aren't you aware of that? Part of machismo, the king is dead - long live
the king.
: It is a real bastard when you learn THAT lesson - the defeated hero.
:
: Do you really want to fight?
:
: You know what? I couldn't care less. How about I declare you a winner?
: There you are - the winner by default.
:
: Isn't being a winner SOOO wonderful?
:
: I think you have the message. I do not play machismo - do not give two
cents for your opinion - and I am doing
: things I want to do - which is helping others. This includes you by
telling you that you are responding to
: machismo and it is a stupid, silly and worthless concept.
: If you want to play games - go right ahead.
: But it is a game and I know it is a game and now you know it is a game.
:
: I prefer the older games - the upper class were "genteel" because they
could stir a cup of tea and not let the
: spoon clink against the side of the tea cup. How GENTEEL. At least this
was an art learned when you could not
: find anything better to do with your life. Pointless? Sure.
: Just as pointless as your game.
:
Geeeeeeeeeeze...... ya coulda just said 'yes'
Mordecai!
Greg Evans wrote:
I am so glad the JAP jokes are not cool any longer.
The joke "Mary just had her 30th birthday. Everyone else wonders why it took her so long." is nasty and catty
and one I am glad to see dead.
None the less I have not only been 21 for years but also 21 twice over - plus some.
And I do not want to go back to being 42. Not even a belated 42nd birthday. Not even the JAP joke above.
I always wonder why people think "going on 8" is something to be ashamed of. You know who you are - and love
all the things you have in life including your childhood. Something I missed out on - unfortunately.
However - you must be careful. You are not allowed to retreat sexually to that age - the laws on pedophilia
are rather severe. Just a suggestion of course.
The defense "I am 42 - going on 8" is not something the courts will permit as an excuse. However - you can
always try I suppose.
FedUpWithThisCrap
"Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
> but Brits got their ass kicked in 1812, despite the Canadians doing
> some damage to the Capitol.
Oh yeah - so how did the White House get it's name then?
ink
"FedUpWithThisCrap" dropped into the real world with a crash and
proclaimed...
Think... cocaine...
ink
- "What contemptible scoundrel has stolen the cork to my lunch?"
(W.C. Fields)
Nick Foxall
of all the way down to florida would be canadian.... This is what happened
when British troops left the states the first time and left control over to
a bunch of slackjaws, then we dived back in restored order pushed the french
back (and only left canada where it was because of the outbreak of
revolution).
I bet they never teach the yanks that far back in the history books do they?
Oh-no it's all how great, how patriotic, how amazing.....
I swear to god the american nation is more like N.Korea than they
believe.... Get down on our knees and prey for the leader... HAIL DUBYA!!!
HAIL DUBYA!!!
Sorry.
"ink" <n...@way.net> wrote in message news:b2teqo$hpn$1...@rex.ip-plus.net...
Douglas D. Anderson
> Just think if it wasn't for the efforts of the british the right hand side
> of all the way down to florida would be canadian.... This is what happened
> when British troops left the states the first time and left control over to
> a bunch of slackjaws, then we dived back in restored order pushed the french
> back (and only left canada where it was because of the outbreak of
> revolution).
>
> I bet they never teach the yanks that far back in the history books do they?
> Oh-no it's all how great, how patriotic, how amazing.....
>
> I swear to god the american nation is more like N.Korea than they
> believe.... Get down on our knees and prey for the leader... HAIL DUBYA!!!
> HAIL DUBYA!!!
>
> Sorry.
Yeah they teach us that far back and more, like how the Brits remained
stone age Neanderthals until the dark ages, when a bunch of half crazed
monks learned how to read and write in Latin in order to keep track of
property contributed to the Church as an atonement by aristocrats and
royalty who thought that would keep them from dying of the plague. A
mere three hundred years after learning to read and write, they still had
barbaric tendencies and established slave labor in the colonies, and once
it was established here, they outlawed it in Great Britain. It took us over
a hundred years to clean up that mess you guys left, and things still aren't
quite right here, with all this oogah boogah language. If you guys think we
can't speak English, it's largely your fault for populating the South with so
many colorized proto-humans... the only thing we've figured out to do
with them profitably is start football teams, and then you Brits complain it
isn't proper football. Well pardon us, so what if there's all that jumping
up and down and swinging from the goal posts, at least we're not wasting
a national resource.
nuxgpwk
news:3E5238E8...@somewhere.com...
nuxgpwk
Mike Lindsay
<robb...@netscape.net> writes
>root@localhost postmaster@localhost admin@localhost abuse@localhost
>ab...@altopia.com ab...@google.com u...@FTC.gov postm...@127.0.0.1
>"Beef" <be...@steerclear.net> wrote in message
>news:3fr03939ig...@steerclear.net...
>
>>
>> COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE
>>
>
>"surrender."
>
>
Interesting. What concept do the British Have 28 words for? And the
Americans?
And did you know there are 2 Greek words for brother in law, one meaning
your wife's brother and the other your sisters husband?
--
Mike Lindsay
Douglas D. Anderson
"Mike Lindsay" <mi...@sailplane.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
news:xtTD0HAL...@sailplane.demon.co.uk...
Americans have 28 words for 'lazy bastards', including 'homeless',
'underprivileged, 'atd', 'developmental disorder', 'social misfit',
'juvenile delinquent', 'maladaptive', 'minority', etc.
Mordecai!
Mike Lindsay wrote:
Oh - the most funny one is a Jew and a Christian talking about G_d.
To the Jew - it is the one in charge - the one in authority.
To the Christians it is based on the substance of G_d and hence trinity.
Very amusing to watch. Neither can talk in the other language - and the ideas of each are "blasphemy" to the
other ... and it is all based on an unspoken definition.
More importantly, nobody is interested in where their ideas come from and what they are actually talking
about.
The words in language are very important as they reflect what is important to that culture or people.
The Australian Aborigines have many subtle family relationships so you can bet your bottom dollar that they
consider the family structure as most important. They have too many languages for anything like "the number of
words" for this.
Jews have a relationship with the most high so they have many names for the Almighty. Plus of course, looking
at things from the POV of names, seeing as they are one of the descendants of Shem.
The unconscious drives of a people are reflected in their language. This is the way they perceive the
universe. What they talk about, how they talk about it and if they do not have a word, they will invent one.
Do you think the Brits and the Yanks are very different?
ur_droll
"Douglas D. Anderson" <d...@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
news:pWw4a.2597$hM1....@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
:
: "Nick Foxall" <ma...@nickf.co.uk> wrote in message
LMFAO
: > "ink" <n...@way.net> wrote in message news:b2teqo$hpn$1...@rex.ip-plus.net...
: > >
: > >
: >
: >
:
:
Leon
"Mike Lindsay" <mi...@sailplane.demon.co.uk> wrote
> And did you know there are 2 Greek words for brother in law, one meaning
> your wife's brother and the other your sisters husband?
Lots of people have two Greek words for their brothers-in-law. Some are
quite unprintable.
Leon
Godelieve Van Overmeire
--
http://users.skynet.be/sky84985/
" Sol lucet omnibus"
et ne manquez pas la partie "Controverse"
CW
"Godelieve Van Overmeire" <Godelieve.V...@advalvas.be> wrote in
message news:3e52ee80$0$20555$ba62...@news.skynet.be...
and what do you think of this flemish (dutch) phrase about your laugh at
the French :
"amerikaanse grootheidswaanzin tegenover Frankrijk" ?
Have a nice day...
and
I also feel happy because I'm not a French(wo)man, but a Belgian
french-speaking one ! Is it more wrong ?
and yes : my patronymic is the name of a big village (you know what it means
?) where I was born too. Ancient scripts (1310) say my
grand-grand-grand-grand... father had to pay taxes to have rights practising
his trade.
I love you all,
Godelieve
(what first signified in dutch: "God's Love", but what I believe means
really "loved by all existing and not existing imps" -- even "you all")
-------------------------------------------------
Americans _____ ______ France. Please translate.
OTOH, Belgium has rarely been perfidious enough to joke about (outside of
the Congo). Even the Monty Python crew had a tough time coming up with a
more derogatory term than "sprouts."
CW
Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)
<"mldavis<pleasenospam>"@ace.net.au> wrote in alt.tasteless.jokes:
>Oh - the most funny one is a Jew and a Christian talking about G_d.
>To the Jew - it is the one in charge - the one in authority.
>To the Christians it is based on the substance of G_d and hence trinity.
>
>Very amusing to watch.
Yes, that sounds like a regular laugh riot!
--
V.G.
"Useful idiots follow suit. Artist my ass; I went to
grade school." - Allen L. Barker explains everything.
(This sig file contains not less than 80% recycled SPAM)
Sarcasm is my sword, Apathy is my shield.
The Mad Jesuit
>
> "The Mad Jesuit" <mad_j...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:pEi4a.119932$Gm2.3104398@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> :
> : "ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message
> : news:L0%3a.91846$F63.1...@news.xtra.co.nz...
> : >
> : >
> : >
> : > That and the technical data on all the unethical experiments
> : > that hitlers mad scientists were carrying out on animals (jews)
> : > and human prisoners
> : >
> :
> : Those were WWII. The discussion up to this point was WWI. Stay on
topic.
>
>
> Hey dickhead...... we were talking about the discovery channel
> and the garbage that comes out of bushes arsehole when he speaks
> and prior to that the subject was 'fucked up french poofta's'.
>
> it was the poofta part that attracted you wasn't it?
>
> Anyway if you would care to take the time to pull yer head outta your
> arse and look around before you start farting off about the discussions
> in previous posts, you will find the following reference.......
>
> "Even the suggestion that Americas contributions during both Wars was
> for ethical reasons is laughable"
>
So said the sheep-shagger.
ur_droll
:
: "ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message
That is about as witless a reply as any I have seen.
Congratulations you rank right up there with 'arno'
The Mad Jesuit
for the last couple of years, it's more reply that you deserve.
ur_droll
:
: "ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message
is *that* a fact..... LoLoL
The Return of Mel
<mi...@sailplane.demon.co.uk> wrote in message
<xtTD0HAL...@sailplane.demon.co.uk>:
which could be the same person.
--
smash yer modem, reboot, kill yerself
When your life goes into the shitter there's only one thing you can do:
WIPE & FLUSH!
and then find a new way to live. :-)
Mordecai!
"Vanilla Gorilla (Monkey Boy)" wrote:
> On Wed, 19 Feb 2003 09:19:02 +1030, "Mordecai!"
> <"mldavis<pleasenospam>"@ace.net.au> wrote in alt.tasteless.jokes:
>
> >Oh - the most funny one is a Jew and a Christian talking about G_d.
> >To the Jew - it is the one in charge - the one in authority.
> >To the Christians it is based on the substance of G_d and hence trinity.
> >
> >Very amusing to watch.
>
> Yes, that sounds like a regular laugh riot!
>
alt.messianic.
Nick Foxall
"Douglas D. Anderson" <d...@rr.rochester.com> wrote in message
news:pWw4a.2597$hM1....@twister.nyroc.rr.com...
>
Hmm... So the english started the slave trade and then the americans
cleaned it up???? The English that started the slave trade then moved to
America where it blossomed, we abolished slave trade in Britain well before
the americans did....
Your little script doesn't make sense either about monks learning to read
and write???? The Ancient Britons / Celts had a intricate language and
religion t'was only after many invasions Vikings / Romans / Saxons /
Normans......... This is what British people are today a mixture - and
anyways, when you refer back to our starting points you refer back to yours
aswell.... We created that nation, it was only after the revolution that
you lot managed to fuck it up the way you did.
Another point I'm an avid fan of football and I cannot even remember
thinking that international football isn't REAL football, the same rules,
same tactics, where did you get that from? Many of the regulations in place
by FIFA stem back from early leagues in the UK - only the odd change has
been made since.
Are you talking about South America when you refer to the South? Because if
you are maybe you should look towards the Spanish with that problem, not
really any colonies where started by the english down there....
ink
"Mike Lindsay" dropped into the real world with a crash and proclaimed...
The limeys may have 28 different words for "rotting teeth"...
FedUpWithThisCrap
Nick Foxall wrote:
> > Yeah they teach us that far back and more, like how the Brits remained
> > stone age Neanderthals until the dark ages,
So let's pick a random date in the dark ages - say 820AD. What was the great US
of A doing then? Eh? Read some history - Civilisation as you know it (ie:
ignoring the AmerIndian cultures) comes from Europe. This may come as a shock,
but it was NOT an American invention.
> aswell.... We created that nation, it was only after the revolution that
> you lot managed to fuck it up the way you did.
>
Hear hear...
> Another point I'm an avid fan of football and I cannot even remember
> thinking that international football isn't REAL football,
I think he was probably referring to that odd game they play over there, on fake
turf with a strange shaped ball (the one where all the players have to wear
cissy padding) not proper football at all.
FedUpWithThisCrap
"Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
>
> Despite the fact that Jews control the media
<Snipped>
> and yet judge us by the Jewish run tabloid media.
That's the sort of racist b-shit that Hitler and his cronies were spouting. Thank
God there are Americans who actually are cultured, who do realise that there is a
world outside the USA, and who have the same contempt for that racist redneck
drivel as the rest of us.
Greg Evans
> "Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
> <Snipped>
>
> That's the sort of racist b-shit that Hitler and his cronies were
spouting.
Note that this was cross-posted to alt.tasteless.jokes, where comments such
as Anderson's pass for "humor". Your post, while perfectly rational and
understandable, will only serve to goad those folks to new heights (excuse
me, depths) of stupidity.
Just FYI.
[a.t.j. newsgroup trimmed from reply for obvious reasons]
ink
"FedUpWithThisCrap" dropped into the real world with a crash and
proclaimed...
>
<chuckle> Those "cultured" yanks would be the ones dipped in yogurt!
FedUpWithThisCrap
Greg Evans wrote:
Woops - I need to engage brain occasionally!
FedUpWithThisCrap
ink wrote:
>
> <chuckle> Those "cultured" yanks would be the ones dipped in yogurt!
>
LOL - That's my all-time favourite multi-purpose joke I think ...
Greg Evans
Mmmmmmm...multi-purpose yooooogurt....
J H Lowy
Profanity, especially the sexually based American variety, is the refuge of
the _______________, _____________, and ____________.
"ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message
news:36j4a.93685$F63.1...@news.xtra.co.nz...
>
> "The Mad Jesuit" <mad_j...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
> news:pEi4a.119932$Gm2.3104398@twister.rdc-kc.rr.com...
> :
> : "ur_droll" <Ch...@xtra.co.nz> wrote in message
> : news:L0%3a.91846$F63.1...@news.xtra.co.nz...
> : >
> : > "Ted Smith/Jennifer Gauthier" <esm...@kingston.nospamnet> wrote in
> message
> : > news:v50oufr...@corp.supernews.com...
> : > :
> : > : "nuxgpwk" <nux...@fish.net> wrote in message
> : > : news:VUV3a.19229$zL6....@news2.central.cox.net...
> : > : >
> : > : > "Nick Foxall" <ma...@nickf.co.uk> wrote in message
> : > : > news:0BV3a.8574$FP3...@news-binary.blueyonder.co.uk...
Greg Evans
> Please fill in the blank(s).
> Profanity, especially the sexually based American variety, is the refuge
of
> the _______________, _____________, and ____________.
"Typical Usenet Poster"?
Perhaps you missed the earlier post which pointed out that this thread is
crossposted to, among others, alt.tasteless.jokes. Rest assured that they
will NOT play by the normal rules, and that any response at all only
encourages them.
Pay attention to trimming your "Newsgroups:" headers, filter out chronic
jerks, and live a happier life!
[alt.tasteless.jokes trimmed from this reply]
Douglas D. Anderson
This is what I mean Nick, that's "_an_ intricate language"... you still don't
have it right. In any case, the situation in England was similar to Tibet, only
a small and elite educated class possessed a written language, while the
oppressed peasant masses remained illiterate under their aristocratic
masters. And often they, right up to the King were also illiterate, and
dependent on the educated few. In ancient times those educated few were
called the Druids, and in more recent times, they were monks, and other
religiousness. Recorded English history, and I'm not referring to fables and
lore, begins with such items as Holinshed's chronicles, the Doomsday book,
etc., which were recorded by monks, these two of course in Anglo-Saxon,
but much was also in Latin. And it was monks who recorded the oral
tradition as well, the legends and lore of the Celts and Britons, etc.. They
created an artificial written language in which to record Gaelic, which is
why the spelling is so idiotic, what can be expected from scholars.
> religion t'was only after many invasions Vikings / Romans / Saxons /
> Normans......... This is what British people are today a mixture - and
> anyways, when you refer back to our starting points you refer back to yours
> aswell.... We created that nation, it was only after the revolution that
> you lot managed to fuck it up the way you did.
>
> Another point I'm an avid fan of football and I cannot even remember
> thinking that international football isn't REAL football, the same rules,
> same tactics, where did you get that from? Many of the regulations in place
> by FIFA stem back from early leagues in the UK - only the odd change has
> been made since.
>
> Are you talking about South America when you refer to the South?
Of course not, I'm refering to the southern United States. The African slave
trade was started in South America by the rich Spanish Jews to work on
their sugar cane plantations, but the English capitalized on the slave trade
in the American colonies. Yes, slavery was stopped in England before it
was in the United States, but it was the English who established it here in
the colonial days.
Douglas D. Anderson
"FedUpWithThisCrap" <some...@somewhere.com> wrote in message
news:3E539310...@somewhere.com...
Just because Hitler and the Nazi's killed off huge numbers of Jews
does not mean the Jews are good. That is idiotic logic. If a lunatic
breaks into Mafia headquarters and opens fire, murdering hundreds
of Mafia men without due process, it is dead wrong, but it does not
mean the ones who survive are saints and angels. The Media _is_
run by Jews, and has been for many years. I can list off every single
Hollywood mogul from the beginning of Hollywood to this date, and
less than two per cent are not Jewish. If it is a fact it is a fact. If I point
out that the vast majority of professional basketball players are from
African heritage, does that make me a racist, or simply observant?
And if the majority of controlling interest in the media is Jewish, am
I supposed to pretend I don't notice? I should think that 'Bloomberg'
is an Anglo-Saxon name? And if a Jew notices the same thing, like
Neal Gabler, who wrote "An Empire of Their Own- How the Jews
Invented Hollywood", does that mean he is _not_ a racist, because
he is a Jew?
nuxgpwk
I guess you never heard of the Holy Office, the Inquisition, which had as
its major tenet the elimination or conversion of all Jews in Spain. When,
exactly, did Jews obtain the necessary permits and grants from the King of
Spain to emigrate to his prime mission field, the New World?
Reminds me of Rocky and Bulwinkle, the Peabody's Improbable History section.
nuxgpwk
Spitfire
>
> "ink" <n...@way.net> wrote in message news:b2teqo$hpn$1...@rex.ip-plus.net...
> >
> > proclaimed...
> > >
> > >
> > > "Douglas D. Anderson" wrote:
> > >
> > > > some damage to the Capitol.
> > >
> > > Oh yeah - so how did the White House get it's name then?
> >
> > Think... cocaine...
>
> of all the way down to florida would be canadian.... This is what happened
> when British troops left the states the first time and left control over to
> a bunch of slackjaws, then we dived back in restored order pushed the french
> back (and only left canada where it was because of the outbreak of
> revolution).
You didn't do well in school,....did ya....
> I bet they never teach the yanks that far back in the history books do they?
About the "Glory" of being <snicker> Canadian?
No.
> Oh-no it's all how great, how patriotic, how amazing.....
How rich.
> I swear to god the american nation is more like N.Korea than they
> believe.... Get down on our knees and prey for the leader... HAIL DUBYA!!!
> HAIL DUBYA!!!
>
> Sorry.
Why? You sound like one of his cabinet.
--
Spitfire
You done yet?
Spitfire
.....you limeys don't even have cheerleaders,....ya buncha faggots...
> Are you talking about South America when you refer to the South? Because if
> you are maybe you should look towards the Spanish with that problem, not
> really any colonies where started by the english down there....
I thank yer influence in Alabama,...I don't have to worry about the bodies
being identified by dental records...
Spitfire
>
> Nick Foxall wrote:
>
> > > Yeah they teach us that far back and more, like how the Brits remained
> > > stone age Neanderthals until the dark ages,
>
> So let's pick a random date in the dark ages - say 820AD. What was the great US
> of A doing then? Eh? Read some history - Civilisation as you know it (ie:
> ignoring the AmerIndian cultures) comes from Europe. This may come as a shock,
> but it was NOT an American invention.
We don't care about yer sad history,....we just expect you to serve us....
> > aswell.... We created that nation, it was only after the revolution that
> > you lot managed to fuck it up the way you did.
>
> Hear hear...
.....as you dip yer fries in mayo,.....and suck em off.....
> > Another point I'm an avid fan of football and I cannot even remember
> > thinking that international football isn't REAL football,
>
> I think he was probably referring to that odd game they play over there, on fake
> turf with a strange shaped ball (the one where all the players have to wear
> cissy padding) not proper football at all.
You limeys can't even pass, ya can't catch, ya can't block anything but the ball
itself,...and when ya collide with each other accidentally ya call a time out for
"being too rough"..........buncha pansies....
Spitfire
> > In article <FBU3a.15423$P1.12...@news1.east.cox.net>, Robbi
> > <robb...@netscape.net> writes
> > >root@localhost postmaster@localhost admin@localhost abuse@localhost
> > >ab...@altopia.com ab...@google.com u...@FTC.gov postm...@127.0.0.1
> > >"Beef" <be...@steerclear.net> wrote in message
> > >news:3fr03939ig...@steerclear.net...
> > >
> > >>
> > >> COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE
> > >>
> > >
> > >They say that Eskimos have 28 words for "snow." The French have 28 words for
> > >"surrender."
> > >
> > >
> > Interesting. What concept do the British Have 28 words for? And the
> > Americans?
> >
> > And did you know there are 2 Greek words for brother in law, one meaning
> > your wife's brother and the other your sisters husband?
>
> 'underprivileged, 'atd', 'developmental disorder', 'social misfit',
> 'juvenile delinquent', 'maladaptive', 'minority', etc.
'Republican'. (beats thinking)
Spitfire
>
> Mike Lindsay wrote:
>
> > In article <FBU3a.15423$P1.12...@news1.east.cox.net>, Robbi
> > <robb...@netscape.net> writes
> > >root@localhost postmaster@localhost admin@localhost abuse@localhost
> > >ab...@altopia.com ab...@google.com u...@FTC.gov postm...@127.0.0.1
> > >"Beef" <be...@steerclear.net> wrote in message
> > >news:3fr03939ig...@steerclear.net...
> > >
> > >>
> > >> COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE
> > >>
> > >
> > >They say that Eskimos have 28 words for "snow." The French have 28 words for
> > >"surrender."
> > >
> > >
> > Interesting. What concept do the British Have 28 words for? And the
> > Americans?
> >
> > And did you know there are 2 Greek words for brother in law, one meaning
> > your wife's brother and the other your sisters husband?
> > Mike Lindsay
>
> Oh - the most funny one is a Jew and a Christian talking about G_d.
> To the Jew - it is the one in charge - the one in authority.
> To the Christians it is based on the substance of G_d and hence trinity.
>
> other ... and it is all based on an unspoken definition.
> More importantly, nobody is interested in where their ideas come from and what they are actually talking
> about.
>
> The words in language are very important as they reflect what is important to that culture or people.
> The Australian Aborigines have many subtle family relationships so you can bet your bottom dollar that they
> consider the family structure as most important. They have too many languages for anything like "the number of
> words" for this.
> Jews have a relationship with the most high so they have many names for the Almighty. Plus of course, looking
> at things from the POV of names, seeing as they are one of the descendants of Shem.
>
> The unconscious drives of a people are reflected in their language. This is the way they perceive the
> universe. What they talk about, how they talk about it and if they do not have a word, they will invent one.
>
> Do you think the Brits and the Yanks are very different?
.....yer obviously new here.....
Douglas D. Anderson
Unfortunately you can't use reason and logic to solve the problems of
history, only facts. The Spanish were as quick to take a bribe from the
wealthy Jews as were the Nazis, and many a blind eye was turned to
the jangle of gold. Modern historians even speculate that Columbus
was secretly commissioned to find a home for the Jews. Don't forget,
it was the Church that hated the Jews, not the Spanish, who in fact
hated with a passion the Moors, the Moslems. A very large population
of Sephardic Jews went underground, called "Marranos" or "pigs", both
Spanish and Portuguese. These "secret Jews" continued to practice
Judaism while outwardly pretending to be Catholics. A large number of
the Marranos moved to Latin America in the colonial period, and the
descendents of these Sephardic Jews record in their own histories their
having brought the first black Africans to the plantations.
Douglas D. Anderson
"Spitfire" <spitf...@my-deja.com> wrote in message news:3E53E944...@my-deja.com...
'Democrat' (most Welfare recipients vote Democrat)
Spitfire
>
> Unfortunately you can't use reason and logic to solve the problems of
> history, only facts.
Wow,....better not tell that to this administration...
Spitfire
Yeah,....most of them have to live by their wits....
Douglas D. Anderson
"Spitfire" <spitf...@my-deja.com> wrote in message news:3E54118B...@my-deja.com...
If that's what you call it.... most welfare recipients are unwed mothers,
mostly drop-out trailer trash... imagine, the Kennedys and trailer trash-
one big happy family...
The Return of Mel
in message <LoK4a.5347$rU4....@news-binary.blueyonder.co.uk>:
>Arno---- Why do you just keep replying without adding anything?
ask him in alt.humor.jewish
>"Arno Martens" <sne...@sympatico.ca> wrote in message
>news:qko55vcujumjogluq...@4ax.com...
>> On Tue, 18 Feb 2003 21:58:35 +0000, Mike Lindsay
><mi...@sailplane.demon.co.uk> ,
>> wrote:
>>
>> >In article <FBU3a.15423$P1.12...@news1.east.cox.net>, Robbi
>> ><robb...@netscape.net> writes
>> >>root@localhost postmaster@localhost admin@localhost abuse@localhost
>> >>ab...@altopia.com ab...@google.com u...@FTC.gov postm...@127.0.0.1
>> >>"Beef" <be...@steerclear.net> wrote in message
>> >>news:3fr03939ig...@steerclear.net...
>> >>
>> >>>
>> >>> COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE
>> >>>
>> >>
>> >>They say that Eskimos have 28 words for "snow." The French have 28 words
>for
>> >>"surrender."
>> >>
>> >>
>> >Interesting. What concept do the British Have 28 words for? And the
>> >Americans?
>> >
>> >And did you know there are 2 Greek words for brother in law, one meaning
>> >your wife's brother and the other your sisters husband?
--
smash yer modem, reboot, kill yerself
When your life goes into the shitter there's only one thing you can do:
WIPE & FLUSH!
and then find a new way to live. :-)
The Return of Mel
wrote in message <dv275vk3f5290oohh...@4ax.com>:
>On Wed, 19 Feb 2003 09:36:02 +0200, The Return of Mel <m...@adderleystreet.co.za>
>, wrote:
>>On Tue, 18 Feb 2003 21:58:35 +0000, Mike Lindsay
>><xtTD0HAL...@sailplane.demon.co.uk>:
>>>In article <FBU3a.15423$P1.12...@news1.east.cox.net>, Robbi
>>><robb...@netscape.net> writes
>>>>root@localhost postmaster@localhost admin@localhost abuse@localhost
>>>>ab...@altopia.com ab...@google.com u...@FTC.gov postm...@127.0.0.1
>>>>"Beef" <be...@steerclear.net> wrote in message
>>>>news:3fr03939ig...@steerclear.net...
>>>>>COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE
>>>>They say that Eskimos have 28 words for "snow." The French have 28 words for
>>>>"surrender."
>>>Interesting. What concept do the British Have 28 words for? And the
>>>Americans?
>>>And did you know there are 2 Greek words for brother in law, one meaning
>>>your wife's brother and the other your sisters husband?
stop being such a Jew, Arno.
alt.humor.jewish added back.
your little plan won't work in alt.tasteless.jokes
Spitfire
....after all,...trailer trash should know their place....
Joseph Michael Bay
>root@localhost postmaster@localhost admin@localhost abuse@localhost
>ab...@altopia.com ab...@google.com u...@FTC.gov postm...@127.0.0.1
>"Beef" <be...@steerclear.net> wrote in message
>news:3fr03939ig...@steerclear.net...
>>
>> COMPLETE MILITARY HISTORY OF FRANCE
>>
>They say that Eskimos have 28 words for "snow." The French have 28 words for
>"surrender."
They have 100,000 words for "die defending Paris from the Nazis
while the US looks on somewhat uncomfortably".
--
Joseph M. Bay Lamont Sanford Junior University
www.stanford.edu/~jmbay/ DO NOT PRESS
When encryption is outlawed, om;u h$g9!ap k#-j tv*d$]p.