We all rightfully denounce the French as limpdicks. The only way,
normally, to get the French to cooperate with you is NOT to be their
ally, but to scare them as their enemy.

But I MISUSE the term "limpdicks." Actually, one can see a viable
pattern based on only two samples, sometimes. Especially if they are
critically important samples. Two samplings of French history provide
support for the following theory: The French grow balls, fight like
madmen, and conquer countries and continents if they have a CUTE and
SEXY leader to follow who has a diminutive characteristic.

The two historical instances of this are Joan of Arc and Napoleon.
Joan of Arc was an underage, virgin woman. Napoleon was short. I use
sexual feeling as a motivator because A.) Joan of Arc was a woman and
B.) something I saw on the History Channel about Napolean one time.

The History Channel piece talked about Napoleon's return to power
after escaping from Elba. He faced the troops sent to capture him,
according to the documentary, by baring his chest and inviting anyone
to shoot 'their emperor.' Not a shot was fired and the troops entered
into his service.

Now, I'm semi-joking and semi-serious, here. I one time said to a
friend, "The French army followed Napoleon because they were all gay
and thought he was cute." Officially, that is just a joke. But after
thinking about it AND about Joan of Arc, I put some real weight into
that theory.

No, I do not think the French soldiers were all literally gay. But
without going too deeply into the hidden recesses of common human
psychology here, no less Biblical teachings about human nature, I at
least semi-seriously propose that something that one could call a "sex
related feeling" was involved in motivating the French to fanatical
devotion to these two key leaders in their history. Devotion which led
to successful results of the military campaigns of Joan of Arc and
Napoleon.

It looks like one of many idiosyncrasies of the French is that to make
them achieve great military success they have to driven by a sexy
leader with a distinct, diminutive, maybe even pitiable
characteristic.

Which, back to the humour section (notice my British spelling here, as
long we're Euroriented), leads me to refer back to an older post of
mine, to bring us "up to date" on the French:

http://groups.google.com/group/alt.politics/browse_thread/thread/5382...

Watch out, Europe! Carla Bruni is ascending in France!