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Stage 4a out of 4c Cancer

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Sugien

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May 4, 2013, 7:05:14 PM5/4/13
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I have been diagnosed after a biopsy this past April 25th with Stage 4a Squamous Cell Carsonoma of the head and neck. Maybe I should never have used a cell phone, lol. The VA is going to pay for all my ratation and chemo treatments as I am Service Connected for Agent Orange exposure. From what I am told I don't have an experation date percentage; but it is quite serious espessally if I don't do well with the radation or chemo.
I go this comeing Fraiday the 10th to meet with the onocolegy team to find about the treatment they are going to perform. The VA down in Dayton Ohio was going to put me in the hospital and give me radation 5 days a week for 6 weeks letting me come home on weekends with chemo to follow after that; but there is a new cancer treatment center less then 5 miles from my home that is affiliated with THE best cancer treatment center in the midwest - The James at OSU -.
I could have went to The James its self and the VA would still pay for that; but that would still be around a hundred miles round trip. I could have stayed with my second eldest son about 15 miles each way and went to the James; but, seeing as how the treatment center less then 5 miles from my home is not only affiliated with The James; but they also teleconfrence about treatment with the James.
I debated saying anything to all the friends I have made here; but decided to go ahead and let you all know, and I am asking any of you that pray to please keep ole Sugine in your prayors. I just thought I would let you all know so that if you hear from someone using my IP and such and they say it is one of my children, you will know what is going on.

l8er
Sug

The Daring Dufas

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May 4, 2013, 9:03:45 PM5/4/13
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Man, I can't imagine what you're going through right now to get such
devastating news. I'm disabled and live with chronic pain and whenever
I start to feel sorry for myself, I hear of a friend or family member
who's going through something worse. I hope the medical help you receive
can cure you and save your life. I can only wish you don't suffer a lot
of pain because everyone I've known to go through cancer treatment felt
really rough after chemo. Hang in there Suge, I'm pulling for you, get
better pal. ^_^

TDD

Sugien

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May 5, 2013, 12:21:45 AM5/5/13
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I can't imagine the pain getting any worse and my still being conscience; becasue I am already on 40mg methadone for regular pain and 5mg percoetts prn for breakout. This cancer is just the iceing on the cake, alredy went through graves and getting my thyroid nuked with liquid radation, have degenerative disc diease, degenerative joint diease, spondilious in just about all the civircal vitibra which is calicifacation on the out side and betweene the vitrabra; but I also have bown splinters growing into the spinal canal with narrowing of the spinal canal which draws the boneie spurs into the spinal chord bundle, sevire oysteo arthritus, copd, had a heart attack in september of 2k and had a stient put in and now cancer; but I am still alive and kicking and I don't see this ending me; because I have alwlays had a sence of when and what was or is going to go on and I just don't get the feeling of this ending me.
I have always said that when life gives me a bunch of lemons I just make lemonaid, sometimes it is sweet some times tart; but it is always *still* leomonaid. The pain I have had for decades has always let me know I am alive and now this I guess is to teach me to appreacate *every* day and to not take *anything* for granted, which I guess I was getting a little complacent with enduring the pain and it was almost becomeing old hat; but this sure has woke me up enough to smell the coffee so to speak. I will NOT let this little monster win, I will *NOT* surrender my life to it!! I will fight tooth and nail with every fiber of my being and with every breath I take until I have to crawl on all fours to continue fighting, and if I can't crawl to fight I will roll on top of this monster and gnaw at it with my teath and tear at it tooth and nail until I either beat it or go out on my *OWN* terms.

The Daring Dufas

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May 5, 2013, 12:54:34 AM5/5/13
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Oh man, I'm so sorry to hear of your pain and medical problems. I live
with chronic pain myself but it's nothing compared to what you may have.
Two years ago I lost my friend GB who had survived cancer after having
a lung removed and he was cancer free but he just couldn't toss the
cigarettes. He hid them from me and his family because he knew we would
get all over him for it. When he was going through his chemotherapy, he
said it made him so sick he wanted to run away. He had friends an family
who cared about him and supported him so he stayed with it and pulled
through. When he passed away, he was 71. He was my friend, and I miss
him. Keep fighting Suge, I hope you can beat it. o_O

TDD

FromTheRafters

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May 5, 2013, 6:57:46 AM5/5/13
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on 5/4/2013, Sugien supposed :
I'm sorry to hear that. I hope the radiation and chemo does the trick.


The Daring Dufas

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May 5, 2013, 7:37:57 AM5/5/13
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I like Suge, he needs our support. It helps to talk to someone about it.

TDD

FromTheRafters

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May 5, 2013, 11:47:00 AM5/5/13
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The Daring Dufas explained :
Sugien is how I found alt.hackers.malicious in the first place. I was
posting to alt.comp.virus and followed one of his crossposts to here. I
hung around here quite a bit in the old days. It's kinda fun to be here
now and seeing some old familiar nyms popping up from time to time.

He *still* can't spell worth a shit.


FrozenNorth

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May 5, 2013, 12:31:24 PM5/5/13
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Some of us pop in occasionally, some are gone, some have just given up
on usenet, not sure about many of the old-timers.

So sorry to hear about Sugien though.
--
Froz...


The system will be down for 10 days for preventive maintenance.

practice

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May 5, 2013, 12:45:52 PM5/5/13
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On 05/04/2013 11:21 PM, Sugien wrote:
. I will NOT let this little monster win, I will
> *NOT* surrender my life to it!! I will fight tooth and nail with
> every fiber of my being and with every breath I take until I have to
> crawl on all fours to continue fighting, and if I can't crawl to
> fight I will roll on top of this monster and gnaw at it with my teath
> and tear at it tooth and nail until I either beat it or go out on my
> *OWN* terms.
>

That is what I wanted to hear. Fight this bastard. YOU *are* gonna win





The Daring Dufas

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May 5, 2013, 1:50:03 PM5/5/13
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I had a friend who was sinking into depression and I told him the way to
beat it was to get mad, get mad at the depression and tell the SOB
to go away. I spoke with him later and he said it worked. ^_^

TDD

The Daring Dufas

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May 5, 2013, 1:51:49 PM5/5/13
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Let's give him the support we can via Usenet, engage him and encourage
him. ^_^

TDD

Sugien

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May 5, 2013, 4:03:57 PM5/5/13
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rofl, I firmly believe what Einstine (I think it was him) that when asked about spelling said "That's what sectrays are for". When I was attending OSU in Columbus Ohio, my then girlfriend of about 2 years (we will celebrate our 32 anaversary this comeing May 15th) would go over my english papers and correct the spelling and she would ask how it is that I know all these big words that she doesn't even know the meaning of and my not being able to spell them. I told her that you don't have to know how to spell a word to know what it means. Besides most always when ever I use a spelling checker I usually am so far off that the spelling checker can't even find the word I am trying to use, lol.
I have been told that the type of cancer I have is not genetically passed on; but my mom died of the same kind but of the blatter. SCC (squamous cell carsonima) is actually skin cancer but it can hit just about any where in the body. My moms doctor told her that her cancer had most likely laid dorment for over 30 years and then the stress from my dad dieing january of 87 caused it to activate and she died the following october of 88 at 53, and I will be 60 this comeing August.
I sort of fudged about where my cancer is because I didn't want any of my old adversarys to crack wise about what I got cancer in the place I did; but I am a big boy and if any of them are low enough to poke fun and say that because of my giving them a *tongue* lashing, that , that is why I have *Tongue Cancer*. Yep someone like me that is long winded and in RL talks very fast that plays guitar and sings came down with SCC of the Tongue.
If N E 1 is interested here is a good link that gives good info about my type of cancer http://www.tonguecancer.com/blog/what-makes-tongue-cancer-so-insidious.htm the page talks about how this type of cancer is incedious because it is almost always never found until the late stages because there is no pain associated with it.
I guess I should have never joked about getting cancer back in September of 2K when I had my heart attack; because after having it and they put in my stient, I quit smoking cigarets cold turkey and haven't smoked since. I then joked to my wife "it be my luck to stop smoking and *then* get cancer", well guess what.
I am already service connected for Agent Orange; but I will most likely have to fight to get this declaired as a SC condition; because even though it is quite far down and as far as it can be on the right base of where the tongue is attached it is still almost an inch **above** where such soft tissue carsonmas are considered to be *presumptive* for AO, SC.
I think the VA knows that it is AO related and that is why they have been bendingn over backwards to try and acomidate what ever I want to do. It could also be becasue of my mental diagnosises and maybe because of my IQ (lol, like the real McCoys use to say "no brag, just fact")
I know I am getting my usual long winded essay, so I will close with what happned at my last appointment at Dayton; because it illistrates a point. I have never been a squeeky wheel and have always been easy going; but at my last appoint which was scheduled for 9:45am. When my daughter and I arrived at 8:30 there was no one in the glass fronted office for check-in and there were 4 other vets waiting. We waited patiently until almost an hour after my scheduled appointment. All that time no one showed up and the other vets said that no one had been there since they arrived about an hour before we did. Every once in a while we heard some laughter comeing from an adjesent doubble door room which each had a 3 inch by about 14 inch glass with chicken wire type wire in the glass. I went over and peeked into that room and there were 10 or more people in there. First one and then the rest looked over at me pearing into the room and then about 20 minuets later a woman came out and asked what I wanted and I said that I had an appointment at 9:45, she said they were having a staff meeting and told me to wait. Thenabout 10 minuets later only she came out and went into the check in room and brught me out a clip board with something to be filled out. She went back into the room, and off and one there was more laughter and such. We vets that were waiting were talking and all agreed that if they were going to have a staff meeting it should have been scheduled *before* patients appointments or *after*.
When the meeting finally broke up a little after 12:00 noon I was the first one called and while still in front of the now almost a dozen vets, the check in lady said "I know you men probably don't want to hear this; but we *are* very sorry for your wait", I said , which is toatly out of chairactor for me, and I siad it loud enough for all the vets and those still comeing out of the meeting all smiles and such to hear "Do you people honestly think it's a good idea to PISS OFF a bunch of trained former military, that have NOTHING to LOOSE"?!!
I can tell you I got the strangest looks from those from the meeting that had stoped dead in their tracks; because the other vets started applauding. The old chineese doc (at least 70-80), when he came back into the room they ushered me into, was starting to piss me off also; because he had the strangest smile on his face the entire time I was talking to him. He was the FIRST onocoligest (cancer doc) I had even been allowed to talk to; because up until after the biopsy on the 25th of April, the pet scans and CT scans and such had been comeing back as SCC favorable, even back in mid march when they had drained 20cc's of what pathologie said was "necoritic fluid with large cancerous cells, SCC faverable" The doc that drained it out said it cold even be a "necrotic cyst" and might not even be cancer; but that was before the PET scan and the right side base of my tongue lit up as did my thyroid, which should NOT have because they suposaddly burned that out back in 1991 with 14 mili-curies of radioactive sodiem iodine 131; because I was hyper thyroid and diagnosed as Graves diease which usually only hits wemon and usually on after age 60. I am actually in the medical books as patient number such and such because of HEPA and such they don't use your name in rare cases, graves hitting a male is rare but not on heard of; but it hitting a male at age 37, which I was at that time, was almost unheard of; but I forget the small number that have ever had it since they have been keeping records; but iirc it was less then 5.
Well sorry for the essay, and if anyone wants to know any piticulars just ask; because I am going to try and document my journie through this in the hopes that if anyone ever goes through anything like the entirity of what I have been through the past 25 years, that my documenting this may help someone in the future.

TTYL

Sugien

--
From the Desk of Sugien
Cyber../}
@####{ ]::::Gods word is my Sword::::::>
Knight.\}

vinny

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May 9, 2013, 7:34:35 PM5/9/13
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"Sugien" <PaulBr...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:543d63b8-c89c-40f5...@googlegroups.com...
I wish ya lots of luck man.
also...
Checkout iodine. What iodine does in our body. Our hemisphere is iodine
defient so bad the us government once forced it in bread, milk and salt. Now
its not forced in anything, but the lack of iodine is just as bad now as it
was then.
I'm under the impression they forced it in those foods during a cancer
epidemic.
Worth looking into anyway.

good luck man.

Supposedly our body uses iodine to kill cells that refuse to die after 5
regenerations.

Sugien

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May 15, 2013, 10:21:21 AM5/15/13
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Sounds worth researchig espessally seing as how I was given 14 milicuries of radaioactive sodiem iodine 131 back in 1991 to burn out my thyroid gland because of my having graves diease

practice

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May 16, 2013, 3:16:55 AM5/16/13
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On 05/05/2013 03:03 PM, Sugien wrote:
When I was attending OSU in Columbus Ohio, my then girlfriend of
about 2 years (we will celebrate our 32 anaversary this comeing May 15th)
>
> Sugien
>

I thought I had a good memory, but I guess not...But I still want to
wish you a belated Happy Anniversary!
Take care, Suge

BuZZard

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Jun 3, 2013, 3:07:35 PM6/3/13
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"Sugien" <PaulBr...@gmail.com> wrote in message
news:543d63b8-c89c-40f5...@googlegroups.com...
The Force be with you... you're a soldier.

--
BuZZard


Message has been deleted

FromTheRafters

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Jun 5, 2013, 6:31:40 PM6/5/13
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Sugien has brought this to us :

> If N E 1 is interested here is a good link that gives good info about
> my type of cancer

> http://www.tonguecancer.com/blog/what-makes-tongue-cancer-so-insidious.htm

Thanks for the link Sugien, and I hope the therapies work well for you.


The Daring Dufas

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Jun 6, 2013, 9:14:14 PM6/6/13
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On 5/4/2013 6:05 PM, Sugien wrote:
Hell Sug, I went and died May 10th and some really great paramedics
saved my life then I spent 19 days in the hospital where cardiologists
shocked my heart back into the correct rhythm. I'm 100% stronger now
and can now tie my shoes and take stairs without running out of breath.
The doctors say my heart and kidneys are too weak for me to survive
surgery so I have an external defibrillator I'm supposed to wear at all
times but today I actually went out and worked on a network job and
didn't run out of steam. No chest pains but my knees, shoulders and just
about every other joint in my body hurts. I got down on a floor and
installed a network jack at a Sam's Club sales office for a laser
printer. I really needed to get out and move around to get my lungs to
break up the phlegm left over from the latest pneumonia that tried to
get a hold on me. I got the antibiotic just in time to kill those damn
cooties. God my legs hurt so bad but I have to keep moving. ^_^

TDD
Message has been deleted

The Daring Dufas

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Jun 7, 2013, 1:17:45 AM6/7/13
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On 6/6/2013 8:27 PM, Dustin wrote:
> The Daring Dufas <the-dari...@stinky-finger.net> wrote in
> news:korbsi $jhi$1...@dont-email.me:
>
>> Hell Sug, I went and died May 10th and some really great paramedics
>> saved my life then I spent 19 days in the hospital where
>> cardiologists shocked my heart back into the correct rhythm. I'm
>> 100% stronger now and can now tie my shoes and take stairs without
>> running out of breath. The doctors say my heart and kidneys are
>> too weak for me to survive surgery so I have an external
>> defibrillator I'm supposed to wear at all times but today I
>> actually went out and worked on a network job and didn't run out of
>> steam. No chest pains but my knees, shoulders and just about every
>> other joint in my body hurts. I got down on a floor and installed a
>> network jack at a Sam's Club sales office for a laser printer. I
>> really needed to get out and move around to get my lungs to break
>> up the phlegm left over from the latest pneumonia that tried to get
>> a hold on me. I got the antibiotic just in time to kill those damn
>> cooties. God my legs hurt so bad but I have to keep moving. ^_^
>
> Don't overdue yourself man...
>
> And if you ever do any IT work in TN and need an extra pair of hands
> or legs or what have you. (I can fit in tight spaces), look me up.
> I'll be happy to help you.
>
> take care of yourself!
>
>

Thanks for the offer. Me and JH are going to Tuscaloosa on a job
tomorrow but the furthermost North we've gone is Huntsville and
Decatur,Al. Most of the work we do is around Birmingham, Al and
surrounding counties but last Summer, we had a service call in Tupelo,
Mississippi! The state name is fun to spell. There was a problem
with an energy management system at a drug store and Billy Bob Air
Conditioning Service couldn't get it to work. We wound up making 3
trips. The first trip, we installed the interface unit as per the
manufacturers directions, we got a call back saying the office was hot
and the darn thing wasn't working. The remote monitoring office wasn't
detecting any current being drawn by the rooftop AC unit for that part
of the store and the duct temp sensors showed very high temperatures.
Trip 2, I started checking all the wiring and control system
connections. Me and JH, a couple of old disabled fellers climbed a 20
foot internal ladder to the roof with an outside temperature of 105°F.
The metal on the roof was so hot we got second degree burns from
touching it. I opened up the control panel on the non-functioning HVAC
unit and ran it manually showing that there was nothing wrong with
the unit itself. When I started studying the diagram, I soon shouted
WTF! The unit was setup to communicate only with a proprietary Trane
thermostat and it wouldn't work with a standard thermostat like the
other 5 HVAC rooftop units without an optional interface board for
standard thermostat control. The energy management system interface
units were only compatible with standard thermostat control systems.
We had the optional interface board shipped to the the drug store
overnight and we returned the next day to climb back up on that dang
hot roof again to install the optional control board in the HVAC unit
which happily came to life cooling the office and that section of the
drug store. We made three trips from Birmingham because nobody around
there was able to figure out WTF was wrong. Of course whenever there is
a weird problem anywhere, we get the call after a half dozen rubes fail
to fix something. Oh well..... ^_^

TDD
Message has been deleted

The Daring Dufas

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Jun 7, 2013, 11:32:46 PM6/7/13
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On 6/7/2013 12:54 PM, Dustin wrote:
> The Daring Dufas <the-dari...@stinky-finger.net> wrote in news:korq54
> $anl$1...@dont-email.me:
> That's how I get my work too. Somebody else couldn't fix it, they finally
> call me. [g]
>
>

We were in Tuscaloosa today on a network cable installation job and
found that another guy had walked away from it. It's a pain is the ass
when we get to the job and there is an angry manager or customer who
thinks we're connected with the previous feller. The corporate office
failed to tell us we were on mop up duty. o_O

TDD
Message has been deleted

The Daring Dufas

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Jun 8, 2013, 2:08:27 AM6/8/13
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On 6/7/2013 11:47 PM, Dustin wrote:
> The Daring Dufas <the-dari...@stinky-finger.net> wrote in news:kou8c8
> $l97$1...@dont-email.me:
>
>> We were in Tuscaloosa today on a network cable installation job and
>> found that another guy had walked away from it. It's a pain is the ass
>> when we get to the job and there is an angry manager or customer who
>> thinks we're connected with the previous feller. The corporate office
>> failed to tell us we were on mop up duty. o_O
>
> That goes with the territory when you're called in to clean up someone
> elses mess. You not only have to clean up the mess, and fix the equipment,
> but deal with the hassle of a pissed off client who thinks your either
> associated with the previous worker, or is going to screw him over like the
> previous worker did.
>
> I just finished repairs on a laptop that a local car shop uses. I was
> called in because the screens color was off. When I started to take a
> closer look at the machine, I got the impression it had been dropped or
> bumped into something really hard.
>
> The plastic molding around the screen 'snapped' back into place when I
> applied a small amount of pressure. I also noticed the power connector that
> I resoldered just 3 weeks prior was busted loose again. I told the shop
> owner about this and he assured me NOTHING was touched on it, it hadn't
> been moved from where I placed it on the table. Well, he didn't know that I
> took a sharpie when I delivered it and made a few small marks; so I'd know
> if the laptop was moved. And it was, I showed him where it was sitting and
> how far away my marks were.
>
> He claimed he knew nothing about it. LOL.
>
> The last time it was busted loose was due to them ramming it into the side
> of a wall; with enough force that it kinked the power cable.
>
> When I finally tore it down today to repair it, I found that the data cable
> going to the screen was partially disconnected from the mainboard as well
> as finding a nice crack in the corner of the case where the power jack is.
> So, now, I know for absolutely sure, it's been dropped and they lied to my
> face about it.
>
> I've since taken additional steps to run new power leads from outside the
> case, into a tiny project box where I've securely mounted a new jack for
> them to plug the power supply in. I triple checked my solder connections
> and used pro grade hot gun glue to perma stick them in place. So they can
> support tension now and I don't have to worry about them busting loose.
>
> I did the same thing inside the project box. The wires are pro grade hot
> glued inside the box to keep tension/stress from the solder joints.
>
> Short of them really working it, nothing is coming free this time.
>
> It's covered under warranty since I was there just 3 weeks ago, but I did
> charge for the additional parts. New jack, project box, 20gauge stranded
> wire rolls.
>
> So when I deliver it monday morning, I'm going to tell him what I
> discovered and explain, future problems like this, if I can determine YOU
> or one of your employees caused it, will not be covered under warranty. Be
> honest with me from the getgo, I'm going to find out what happened to it
> anyway.
>
> While I was inside the machine, I reconnected the data cable and wouldn't
> you know it? the screens colors are all back to normal. :)
>

I have a suggestion for computer killers who claim ignorance of gear
abuse. ^_^

http://www.shockwatch.com/monitoring-devices/impact-sensor/impact-indicators/

http://tinyurl.com/kc55bet

TDD

Message has been deleted

Sugien

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Jun 8, 2013, 3:46:08 PM6/8/13
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On Saturday, May 4, 2013 7:05:14 PM UTC-4, Sugien wrote:
> I have been diagnosed after a biopsy this past April 25th with Stage 4a Squamous Cell Carsonoma of the head and neck. Maybe I should never have used a cell phone, lol. The VA is going to pay for all my ratation and chemo treatments as I am Service Connected for Agent Orange exposure. From what I am told I don't have an experation date percentage; but it is quite serious espessally if I don't do well with the radation or chemo.
>
> I go this comeing Fraiday the 10th to meet with the onocolegy team to find about the treatment they are going to perform. The VA down in Dayton Ohio was going to put me in the hospital and give me radation 5 days a week for 6 weeks letting me come home on weekends with chemo to follow after that; but there is a new cancer treatment center less then 5 miles from my home that is affiliated with THE best cancer treatment center in the midwest - The James at OSU -.
>
> I could have went to The James its self and the VA would still pay for that; but that would still be around a hundred miles round trip. I could have stayed with my second eldest son about 15 miles each way and went to the James; but, seeing as how the treatment center less then 5 miles from my home is not only affiliated with The James; but they also teleconfrence about treatment with the James.
>
> I debated saying anything to all the friends I have made here; but decided to go ahead and let you all know, and I am asking any of you that pray to please keep ole Sugine in your prayors. I just thought I would let you all know so that if you hear from someone using my IP and such and they say it is one of my children, you will know what is going on.
>
>
>
> l8er
>
> Sug

The following is quite long as I CnP to here to catch everyone here up with what has been going on with me.

:**
Every since I let them put this feeding tube in as a *precaution* (acording to them) I have had nothing but trouble with it. I always thought I had a high pain tolerance; but this thing has been killing me since the next morning (22nd) after they put it in even though I am on massive amounts of pain meds. Then all day yesterday and last night, I was running a feever of 100.6 degrees, so I called the GI department of my local VA here in Chillicothe Ohio on the morning of the 23rd (the 2nd day after my tube was put it); and told them that I was running a feever of 100.6 degrees they told me that was normal and that I should just take tylenol for the feever. Later that afternoon, I called them back and told them that the tylenol was only holding the temp down for about 4 hours and that my tummy was quite swollen, ridged and very very sore to the touch around the PEG. They asked me if I had, had a bowel movement and I said that no I had not had one yet and they said that the swelling was probably from that and that it could also acount for the tenderness and could make me generally feel yuckey. Later that night, I pulled together all the pain tolerance I could muster and had a bowel movement and liked to have when throug the celing because of the pain, which came through 40Mg of methodone and 10Mg of percoett to hit me.

When I took my shower last night I took the 2x2's out from under the round bottom of the PEG and saw some type of yuckey grayish gooye drainate. After cleaning it with steral cotton swabs on a stick and re-dressing the PEG, and got dressed. This morning when I woke up to excrusating pain, it took all I could muster to get dressed and out of bed. While getting dressed I saw a quite noticable solid red patch of skin all around my PEG. I called the Chillicothe VA GI clinic and told them that I had , had a BM last night and about the red patch of skin and about the drainage. They put me on hold and then said that the doctor wanted to see my at 2pm today. I called the audologie department to tell them that I would not be able to make my apointment and I likewise called my Faciliator at my cancer treatment facility. I told my faciliator what was going on and described my stomach and she said that I should NOT wait until 2pm but that I should go to the emergancy room, which I did.

Well to try and shorten this, what happned is that after a CAT scan, which the same doctor from the emergance room hospital which goes over to the VA on tuesdays and had done my PEG at the VA, came to see me at the emergancy room, he said that he had looked at the cat scan and that it was not an abcess, which the ER PA had told me she thought it was. After several blood tests and sending out a sample of the drainage it was determined that what I had was "Cellulitis" which they told me is a *very* serious infection of the skin, The gave me IV antibotics and a pescription for oral antiboitics. They drew a line all the way around the red patch of skin with a specal water proof pen and told me that if the red area started to grow out side the line to come back to the ER.

Now however I am back to no BM's because the swelling up under my rib cage won't allow me to bare down enough to have sucess. Just lightly taking my finger across the swelling causes my stomach to sometimes go into spasms. I had a very great feeling of forboding for several before going to have that PEG put in, and right up until they put me under I almost told them to *stop* that I had changed my mind. Had I known in advance that even half of this amount of pain was going to present its self I would have *never* consinted to the PEG.

All of this with the pain makes me feel like a whimp; but I know that isn't true, I have pulled my own teeth using a guitar string which is quite painfull; but afterwards most of the pain subsides. I still have a scar on my left forearm from playing chicken with a lit cigarett, which neither of us was giving up so we just rolled our arms up together putting the cigarett inbetween our forearms. I guess why I told you that last part is that this amount of pain does make me feel like a whimp and I am considering telling them that I want them to take this dang thing *OUT*. I can't hardly walk and when I do I can't stand up stright. Getting in and out of a chair is a production number; because I can't even ask someone to hold my hand and help lower me into or help pull me out of a chair; because their pulling on either arm causes unbarable pain. I think part of the problem is that over the past few decades with my back going bad, I guess I must have unconsciencly been training myself to use my stomach mussles to take off as much stress from my back as what I could figue out how to do. I also use to the the youg guy maco thing of letting guys punch me as hard as they could in my stomach, well untill I had a doctor tell me that doing that even though it wasn't hurting me, it would well cause my kidneys, blatter, liver or virtually any internal organ to be injured or destroyed from the pressure wave doing such things can cause. I never allowed anyone to do that again.

What I don't understand is the pain going from below my ribs on ither side of my solarplexis all the way through into my back. This pain I can only describe as about the same as what an absced tooth can cause. Well that is enough of my whineing.

I don't know what is going on with this thing. I seen my cancer doctors yesterday the 5th(june); but I am starting to think because the GI doctor that put in my feeding tube works at the same hospital as my cancer doctors that they are trying to cover his butt. The reason I think this is that after my radiation doc seen it, he said that it looks fine but that he was going to have me continue the antibiotics for another 7 days. His reasoning was that because I had a low grade temp of 99.0 ( a whole 4 tents of a degree). He didn't think that the funkey cream/whitish material oozing out was a concern nor the small amounts of blood that were still coming out 15 after the operation.
Tonight after changing my bandage there was what everyone here agrees is a greenish tinged, almost florescent greenish tinged substance on the bandage. Although it is *very* light colored it is none the less greenish and my daughter says it smells like old socks and her boyfriend says it smells like baby puke. I am very nauseous and could not even finish my dinner.
Tonight there was more blood then what there has been and there was what looked like bloody fat cells coming up around half the tube extending beyond the level of my skin by about a quarter of an inch. Maybe it is just me but when the GI (as in gastro intestinal and not government issue) doctor from the civilian hospital tried to tell me the first time I went to the emergency room at the civie hospital that the redness around the tube was nothing to be concerned about; because it was just "stomach acid" that had came out around the tube and irritated the skin, and that I could get ready to go home. He didn't even say anything about I should wait for the tests to come back; because he was so sure what it was.
I don't know but both me and my daughter that was there with me though he was acting sheepish when he came back in from reading the CAT scan, and said that there was no abscess, and that everything looked normal and good, except for the red patch from the stomach acid. Then when the lab tests came back positive for cellulitus, he seamed miffed that it was an infection. I am starting to really think he actually *may have* been in so much of a hurry because of his being called in on his day off to the VA and what with my being the *last* operation of the day and the *only* PEG (feeding tube), and what with the nurses having set me up for a colonoscopcy and then his telling them to turn me back over off of my side because he was doing a PEG and *not* colonscopsy.
I have been rescheduled for my hearing test for 0830 tomorrow(June 7th) and then at 1400 to see my radation doc again. I am about ready to tell him to take this dang thing out; but then I am thinking I will still have the infection and if they stitch the hole shut after taking it out that then the infection might just get worse and that I would maybe have to be opened up to help drain the infection. I just don't know what to do, and I am almost at the end of my rope
The radiation doc has me continuing the antiboitic for another 7 days past what the ER doc had me on. Today is Saturday the 8th, and although I am still having drainage and such most of the pain is gone; but I still have a very powerfull itching sinsation under the skin around the PEG and if I press down slightly and then move my finger around the PEG I get that powerfull itching sensation. This comeing monday I start my radation therapy and then every day at 2pm monday through friday except on the days when I have one of the 3 chemo sessions that last about 6-8 hours; because on those days I will go in 15 minuets early for the ratation and then the chemo. I have my first chemo this tuesday the 11th of June. I will be calling the GI clinic at the VA that put the PEG in and see if I can come in and have them take a look at it before my first radation treatment; because I think what with my resistance to infection going to take a hit; because of the radation and chemo that if I still have *ANY* infection what so ever that maybe the treatments should maybe be put on hold until *ALL* infections are gone; but the docs tell me that my cancer is advanced and that any delay could be hazardous; because unless they can get the tumor to stop growing that I am in danger of having to have radical sugery to remove my tongue, in which case I would have to be fed through this dang feeding tube the rest of my life; because you can't eat without a tongue not to mention not being able to talk. Well enough of my woes, I will ask however that if any of you that pray and have made it all the way through to this point in this essay to pray for me as much as you feel comftorable with.

P.S.
I have made arangements that should something (God forbid) happen to me that a post be made here and to other places which I have conversed to around the net.

L8er All
Sug
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