Hospitalization and Near Death Experience
Edvamp
repeat myself. I am writing a lot more detail then is probably
necessary but this is more therapeutic for myself beyond simply
informing everyone of my year of turmoil.
Obviously I haven’t been around lately, responding to emails, etc. I
have been sick since last December and hospitalized since last March.
I have only recently had sporadic internet access and am finally home
with more consistent access.
At first we thought it was stomach flu. When the symptoms didn’t
subside I checked myself into the hospital in February. After a week
I was discharged with medicine for gastritous and diverticulitous.
Still, my symptoms persisted and I was sent to the ER and checked in
again. Finally a cat scan revealed a blockage in my intestines and I
was scheduled for a simple surgery to fix it.
Two days before the surgery the blockage caused my intestines to
explode. Yes, explode. I was awake and felt it. The only reason I
am alive is I was in the hospital when it happened. Had I been home
chilling in my apartment my landlord would have found me when the
smell got too bad. The pain was so intense that they had to give me a
triple dose a strong pain medication called dilauded for me to calm
down. Oh, and for Shakespeare fans, this happened on March 15th.
I was rushed into emergency surgery from which I was not expected to
survive. I heard some nurses talking when they thought I was out
saying my survival chances were about 40%. Months later I was told
the odds were closer to 10%. But the surgeon pulled me through and
definitely earned a spot on my Christmas card list.
But this was just the beginning. The bursting spread gunk throughout
my body and threatened organ failures. My left lung collapsed so they
transferred me to a nearby hospital with a better respiratory
department.
At this point I would let to talk to you about morphine. To
paraphrase Rick James, morphine’s a hell of a drug. I wake up in
Stony Brook respiratory with tubes in my nose, mouth, and other
places I rather not talk about. My arms are restrained because
patients instinctively try to pull those tubes out. And I was on so
much morphine I had no idea who I was, where I was or why I was
there. My various hallucinations and delusions ranged from the
humorous to the outlandish to the truly frightening. At one point I
was channeling HG Wells thinking I was connected to all points in
time, seeing episodes of TV shows that hadn’t aired yet. When I
wasn’t traveling back in time I was believing I was Batman, in a coma
and going to be waking up in the future, or dead and waiting in a grey
hospital room until the end of time. Did I mention I was on a lot of
morphine? Hallucinating was my only entertainment as I wasn’t
coherent enough to watch TV or hold a conversation. I was also afraid
to sleep because I for some reason thought my respirator wouldn’t work
properly if I slept, so my alone time was mainly spent staring at the
clock trying to stay awake.
I have to say thank God for family. Besides my parents visiting me
almost daily I got closer to more distant parts of the family, aunts,
uncles, cousins, etc. And my nephew has been amazing. At 7 years old
he had no fear of coming to the hospital and seeing me with all the
tubes and stuff coming out of me. When my hallucinations got really
bad I would forget where I was on almost a daily basis. I would
sometimes think I was being transported by plane or boat because some
of the noises I would hear at night would sound like being on a
plane. Plus as I mentioned I kept thinking I was time traveling or
shifting dimensions so it became hard to keep a grip on myself. But
my sister gave me a picture of my nephew and seeing that every morning
helped ground me in reality.
From being immobile for do long two things happened. First, my
muscles atrophied so I lost use of my arms and legs. This resulted in
me not being able to feel anything below my stomach and I couldn’t
lift my head to see, so another delusion I kept having was that my
body had been completely torn apart and the doctors were waiting for
me to heal enough in order to put me back together. The second effect
was I developed a bed sore on my back. The term bed sore really
doesn’t capture it. It is a major wound that often never heals and in
some people can be fatal. It is sort of like someone taking an ice
cream scooper to my lower back that went through muscle all the way to
my spine. When they changed the dressing I could feel them brushing
my spine, which is a weird ass feeling.
The good news is I was able to push forward the boundaries of medical
science a little bit. I had two major wounds, my stomach from the
surgery and my back from the bed sore. They were much two wide to be
sewn together like a cut. The traditional procedure is to stuff the
wound with wet, sterile gauze which is changed twice a day, and
covered in a dry dressing. They call this method wet to dry
dressing. They tried a relatively newer procedure called a wound
VAC. This is a special sponge placed in the wound that draws out
waste material and even draws the wound edges together like Velcro,
making it close and heal quicker. My stomach went from needing 3
months to heal to 6 weeks. And it only needs to be changes 3 times a
week rather then twice a day. Since it worked so well they used the
same procedure for my back wound. The only real downside is a tube
needs to draw the waste material out using a small vacuum machine that
I carry around with me. So I have had a tail for the last few months.
As we travel north in my body’s house of horrors we come to my throat
and lungs. To help me breathe a tracheal tube was inserted, which in
my delusions I accidentally pulled out once. Did I mention morphine
is a hell of a drug? Obviously I was unable to speak while on the
respirator so had to communicate by pointing to letters as my hands
were way too weak and disjointed for any writing. In addition, I
developed pneumonia in my lung as well so the focus was on
strengthening my breathing and getting all the crap that accumulated
in my lungs out. 4-5 times a day they would need to do a procedure
called suction, which was basically inserting a red catheter tube into
my throat hole to make me cough while it collects and sucks out the
phlegm and gunk. If you have never coughed through a hole in your
throat, I really cant recommend it. My Dad could never stay in the
room when they would do that.
A neat part was when as my lungs got better they could reduce the size
of the trach hole. Eventually they gave me a voice box so I could do
that electronic talk. I felt like singing for Front Line Assembly.
The staff were somewhat amused with my Borg impersonations. This was
only temporary as my throat had healed enough for me to speak with my
own voice.
Oh, I have also had to shave my hair. While my wounds heal I am
unable to take a shower and my hair was getting pretty nasty. So, in
order to make it easier to clean in bed, I had it shaved. I am
thinking of keeping it like this for awhile as it will make things a
lot easier even after I go home. But it is doubtful I will ever be
able to go back to long hair.
The last four months have been spent as a physical therapy facility
undergoing rehab. The main emphasis has been in getting me to learn
how to walk again. I think I have gotten pretty good. I don’t need a
walker anymore and can walk with just the assistance of a cane. I
will probably need one for the rest of my life, but here’s hoping. I
joke that other then the holes in my body I am in the best shape of my
life. Once I am discharged from here I just need someone to teach me
to drive again.
The Good - Well, I guess the main one is I didn’t die despite having
no right to have survived the operation. In addition I have lost over
100 pounds. When I go home I plan on following the exercise routine
and see what kind of rehab my insurance will continue to cover for
me. Also, I am much closer to my family, especially my parents. My 7
year old nephew agreed to postpone his birthday for over a month so we
could have it in the hospital room when I was conscious enough. A
friend of the family got me one of those digital picture frames that
we uploaded almost 100 pictures of my nephew ranging from right after
his birth to him going to the 1st grade. Watching that helped me
maintain my sanity.
The Bad - I am not completely done yet. I have one or two more
surgeries to undergo. I have two holes in my torso that need to be
resected to my intestines. If I am lucky he will be able to do it in
one shot. Otherwise it will be two, about two months apart, dragging
this into December or maybe even 09. If I only need one I could be
fully done by Thanksgiving. Also, the psychological trauma has been
pretty heavy. I have definite symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress
Disorder, pretty common with people recovering from severe medical
issues. I have the usual suspects: nightmares, anxiety, mood swings,
outbursts, etc. I have also become a tad dependent on the pain meds I
am getting here, so am looking forward to a fun weekend or so of
withdrawal symptoms after I am discharged. And of course I am having
a hard time getting my disability payments or Medicaid since my
insurance only covers so much so I might have to consult an attorney.
The Ugly - My body has quite the collection of scars. I look like I
went 3 rounds with Pinhead and the Cenobites. My trach scar has my
throat so tight I cant tilt my head back. Obviously I will have to
come up with some cool knife fighting stories that end with “You
should see the other guy!”. On the plus side I can dress up as
Frankenstein’s monster for Halloween with no makeup other then neck
bolts.
You might think I have a somewhat cavalier attitude about this whole
thing. Trust me, the jokes are not to seem cynically cool and
detached but to help me deal with all this. I have had plenty of
alone time to dwell in self pity, but the truth is I will mostly
recover from this. While in the hospital and rehab center I saw
people much worse off than me. At least two of my neighbors have
died, which is why I make no effort to get to know the people around
me. I nearly lost it when I heard an announcement use two terms that
should never go together, “Code Blue…Pediatrics”.
The truth is I have a great support system. My family visit
constantly, even aunts and uncles from Jersey I rarely see even at
Christmas. Despite being out of work since February, my boss has
visited several times and assured me that my job is waiting for me
whenever I am ready to go back. When she heard about my above
mentioned money problems she even organized a benefit concert for me
featuring several of the bands I have worked with over the years.
Quick update (this thing has taken a few days to write as I get very
tired often): I am now home with more stable internet. I might be
able to start working from home soon depending on how well I develop.
I will be getting home nurse aid and physical therapy for as long as
my insurance pays for it. After that will probably be a local gym.
Ok, that is long enough I think. Thanks for the people that knew and
emailed me. Looking forward to seeing everyone again.
Ever and Always
Edvamp
www.suffocation.us
Siobhan
wrote:
>Ok, that is long enough I think. Thanks for the people that knew and
>emailed me. Looking forward to seeing everyone again.
[snips insane story]
Holy crap, dude.
Swift healing. I'm glad to hear you're still with us.
Siobhan
Edward Scissorhands
> Ok, that is long enough I think. Thanks for the people that knew and
> emailed me. Looking forward to seeing everyone again.
I can't believe all the stuff you've been through there; hopefully
you'll make as full a recovery as possible. Did they catch the alien
when it burst out? Should we be afraid? Do you think you'll make October
2009 Whitby (or even April?).
Gah. 404 error, words not found; just get better soon.
EdwardS
--
Edward Scissorhands |\ _,,,---,,_
Eclectic Geek, Goth, Citroenist - EdwardS /,`.-'`' -. ;-;;,
E-Mail: EdwardS<at>dmc12.demon.co.uk |,4- ) )-,_. ,\ ( `'::.
Homepage: http://www.dmc12.demon.co.uk/ '----''(_/--' `-'\_) Morticia
Dag
> have been sick since last December and hospitalized since last March.
> I have only recently had sporadic internet access and am finally home
> with more consistent access.
<snip>
Wow, that's one hell of an adventure (if that's the right word) you've
been through. I'm really glad you made it out alive, and I hope your
recovery is swift. Any chance of a Whitby or Convergence in your not
too distant future? Failing that, who's up for Convergence 14.5 at
Edvamp's place?
Dag
Peter H. Coffin
> The Good - Well, I guess the main one is I didn?t die despite having
> no right to have survived the operation. In addition I have lost over
> 100 pounds. When I go home I plan on following the exercise routine
> and see what kind of rehab my insurance will continue to cover for
> me. Also, I am much closer to my family, especially my parents. My 7
> year old nephew agreed to postpone his birthday for over a month so we
> could have it in the hospital room when I was conscious enough. A
> friend of the family got me one of those digital picture frames that
> we uploaded almost 100 pictures of my nephew ranging from right after
> his birth to him going to the 1st grade. Watching that helped me
> maintain my sanity.
Hooray not dead!
[..]
> The Ugly - My body has quite the collection of scars. I look like I
> went 3 rounds with Pinhead and the Cenobites. My trach scar has my
> throat so tight I cant tilt my head back. Obviously I will have to
> come up with some cool knife fighting stories that end with ?You
> should see the other guy!?. On the plus side I can dress up as
> Frankenstein?s monster for Halloween with no makeup other then neck
> bolts.
There's always the "Alien" angle. Which ain't that far from the truth.
--
When you have a thermic lance, everything looks like hours of fun.
-- Christian Wagner in a.s.r
Jennie Kermode
> Two days before the surgery the blockage caused my intestines to
> explode. Yes, explode. I was awake and felt it. The only reason I
> am alive is I was in the hospital when it happened.
I've recently had intestinal surgery (minor stuff), so I've
been advised about the risks of this kind of thing. It's pretty horrific
even if it does happen in hospital, even with a surgeon right there, and
it's quite often fatal. I'm glad you were lucky.
> At this point I would let to talk to you about morphine. To
> paraphrase Rick James, morphine?s a hell of a drug. I wake up in
> Stony Brook respiratory with tubes in my nose, mouth, and other
> places I rather not talk about. My arms are restrained because
> patients instinctively try to pull those tubes out.
Apparently only about a quarter of patients do that - the rest
lie still and behave. I'm in the oddquarter too. I remember what waking
up like that felt like. Too surreal to be as immediately scary as people
might expect, though.
> humorous to the outlandish to the truly frightening. At one point I
> was channeling HG Wells thinking I was connected to all points in
> time, seeing episodes of TV shows that hadn?t aired yet.
Got any good spoilers for us?
> wasn?t traveling back in time I was believing I was Batman,
Dude! At least you got a bit of excitement along the way.
> coherent enough to watch TV or hold a conversation. I was also afraid
> to sleep because I for some reason thought my respirator wouldn?t work
> properly if I slept, so my alone time was mainly spent staring at the
> clock trying to stay awake.
That's a very common response. Your body would have been
telling you that your lungs weren't working properly so concentration
must be vital to continued breathing, and your brain made sense of that
as best it could. Those unconscious notions have a greater influence in
that situation.
> uncles, cousins, etc. And my nephew has been amazing. At 7 years old
> he had no fear of coming to the hospital and seeing me with all the
> tubes and stuff coming out of me.
It's good for kids to learn about that side of life in way
that isn't made scary for them. Maybe your nephew has the goth gene. ;)
> sometimes think I was being transported by plane or boat because some
> of the noises I would hear at night would sound like being on a
> plane.
I can see how that would go. When I was just out of my coma
and still under heavy sedation, I was wheeled through some corridors and
temporarily parked outside the hospital shop. It wasn't until I passed
it later that the experience made sense to me - until then I thought I'd
been in some kind of supermarket.
> dressing. They tried a relatively newer procedure called a wound
> VAC. This is a special sponge placed in the wound that draws out
> waste material and even draws the wound edges together like Velcro,
> making it close and heal quicker. My stomach went from needing 3
> months to heal to 6 weeks.
Cool. I read about the development of that but you're the
first person I know who's tried it. I'm glad it's as effective as it
originally sounded.
> of the trach hole. Eventually they gave me a voice box so I could do
> that electronic talk. I felt like singing for Front Line Assembly.
> The staff were somewhat amused with my Borg impersonations. This was
> only temporary as my throat had healed enough for me to speak with my
> own voice.
That's very good news. I guess the hospital taff will have
told you that a lot of people are never able to recover their own voices
after procedures like that.
> Oh, I have also had to shave my hair.
It's weird thinking of you like that, so much thinner and
bald. I think it could kind of suit you. Very German industrial.
> The last four months have been spent as a physical therapy facility
> undergoing rehab. The main emphasis has been in getting me to learn
> how to walk again. I think I have gotten pretty good. I don?t need a
> walker anymore and can walk with just the assistance of a cane.
That's very impressive. I guess they'll have told you that
most people take a lot longer.
I'm lucky; I've never been bedridden long enough to lose my
walking skills. I just had problems after my stroke because the hospital
staff decided it was likely I'd forgotten and tried to make me walk
along with the physio when I was still tangled up in tubes and without
taking on board the fact that I always have a limp. I was quite keen on
being mobile again, but I wanted the tubes out and I wanted my boots.
> will probably need one for the rest of my life, but here?s hoping.
Ach, a cane isn't a big deal. You'll get used to it. Also, it
can be used as a sort of extensor-arm, and it means you'll always have a
potential weapon with you.
> The Good - Well, I guess the main one is I didn?t die despite having
> no right to have survived the operation.
You're a goth. We're tough. We do that sort of thing.
> me. Also, I am much closer to my family, especially my parents. My 7
> year old nephew agreed to postpone his birthday for over a month so we
> could have it in the hospital room when I was conscious enough.
He does sound tremendous high quality. :)
> The Bad - I am not completely done yet. I have one or two more
> surgeries to undergo. I have two holes in my torso that need to be
> resected to my intestines. If I am lucky he will be able to do it in
> one shot. Otherwise it will be two, about two months apart, dragging
> this into December or maybe even 09.
Good luck with that.
> fully done by Thanksgiving. Also, the psychological trauma has been
> pretty heavy. I have definite symptoms of Post Traumatic Stress
> Disorder, pretty common with people recovering from severe medical
> issues. I have the usual suspects: nightmares, anxiety, mood swings,
> outbursts, etc.
The best advice I can give you on that s to pur stuff in your
life between you and what's happened. Emotional stuff works best. Drama
of one sort of another, or fun, ideally related to a specific event.
Starting on a new project (even if you've currently very limited in your
choices there) helps your brain to reorientate itself and set those bad
experiences firmly in the past. Just don't let the stress limit your
life, because that's how it traps people.
> I have also become a tad dependent on the pain meds I
> am getting here, so am looking forward to a fun weekend or so of
> withdrawal symptoms after I am discharged.
Yeah. I've seen Donald through a few of those. Oddly, it was
easy for me, which I'd never have expected, as I used to be very fond of
opiates.
From whatI've seen, it sucks mightily, but it _is_ only a
couple of days and once you're over it you'll feel much better - sharper,
clear-headed, refreshed.
> The Ugly - My body has quite the collection of scars. I look like I
> went 3 rounds with Pinhead and the Cenobites. My trach scar has my
> throat so tight I cant tilt my head back.
Is that going to ease up in time, or are you stuck with it?
> should see the other guy!?. On the plus side I can dress up as
> Frankenstein?s monster for Halloween with no makeup other then neck
> bolts.
Heh. Don't forget, chicks dig scars. I used to feel really
awkward about mine (I still do sometimes) but I've noticed that some
people really are absolutely fascinated by them, in a wholly positive
way.
> You might think I have a somewhat cavalier attitude about this whole
> thing.
Actually, you sound like most people I know who've been
through serious medical stuff.
> The truth is I have a great support system. My family visit
> constantly, even aunts and uncles from Jersey I rarely see even at
> Christmas. Despite being out of work since February, my boss has
> visited several times and assured me that my job is waiting for me
> whenever I am ready to go back. When she heard about my above
> mentioned money problems she even organized a benefit concert for me
> featuring several of the bands I have worked with over the years.
All this sounds amazing. It's things like thios that let us
see the real quality of those around us, one way or another, so
congratulations on having so many excellent people in your life. :)
> Ok, that is long enough I think. Thanks for the people that knew and
> emailed me. Looking forward to seeing everyone again.
Likewise. I've been having persistent news access problems
but I shall do my best to be here, and otherwise, you know where to find
me. We all missed you - people last Whitby were saying how it's never as
much fun without you there - and whatever your limits may be now,
however things end up working, we'll be glad to be around you again.
Hang on in there and let's remind those cockroaches that they've got
competition.
Jennie
--
Jennie Kermode
jen...@innocent.com
www.jenniekermode.com
Fnord Prefect Fnord
was the blockage an inussusseption(sp?)? I know someone hwo had one of
those, but her experience was not so instese.
Keep getting better, and enjoy whatvere you can find humor in.
Edvamp
wrote:
> Edvamp wrote:
> > Ok, that is long enough I think. Thanks for the people that knew and
> > emailed me. Looking forward to seeing everyone again.
>
> I can't believe all the stuff you've been through there;
It would have to be serious for me to actually post to LJ.
hopefully
> you'll make as full a recovery as possible. Did they catch the alien
> when it burst out? Should we be afraid?
I didn't notice any super secretive gov't types hanging out by my room
so I think we are good.
Do you think you'll make October
> 2009 Whitby (or even April?).
Oct 09 is probably most realistic. Even if I am approved for
disability for lost work and medicaid benefits money is going to be
extremely tight.
Edvamp
>
> Hooray not dead!
That has always been my preference.
> > The Ugly - My body has quite the collection of scars. I look like I
> > went 3 rounds with Pinhead and the Cenobites. My trach scar has my
> > throat so tight I cant tilt my head back. Obviously I will have to
> > come up with some cool knife fighting stories that end with ?You
> > should see the other guy!?. On the plus side I can dress up as
> > Frankenstein?s monster for Halloween with no makeup other then neck
> > bolts.
>
> There's always the "Alien" angle. Which ain't that far from the truth.
Possibly, but I would really prefer not being called Ripley. I just
couldn't make the underwear work.
oldgoth
<stuff>
Words fail me, I'm not one for beleiveing in higher powers but if ever
anyone was being watched over, it's you. I'm stunned that anyone could
survive even a fraction of that, let alone pull through it all, you are
one tough fighter.
Hope you make a speedy recovery on the rest of the journey back to full
health
martin oldgoth
Endymion
wonderful that you've come through the worst and recovered as well as
you have! I'm generally not one to tell people to be happy things
don't suck quite as bad as they do, but on the other hand you've still
got your mind and your ability to perceive and communicate 100%
intact, you can pick up things and type and smack people as
effectively as ever, and you can move around on your own - those are
*huge* things for people who go through anything half as bad as what
you've had to.
And on the bright side, this will probably be good for a buttload of
free drinks at any netgoth event once you're able to drink again.
I hope you continue to recover and it goes as well and smoothly as it
can!
- Endymion
Dark Phoenix
> On 2008-10-09, Edvamp <edv...@aol.com> wrote:
>> Two days before the surgery the blockage caused my intestines to
>> explode. Yes, explode. I was awake and felt it. The only reason I
>> am alive is I was in the hospital when it happened.
Holy.
Fucking.
Crap.
Sorry you had to go through all this, and hoping the rest of your recovery
is uneventful and swift.
--
Laurie Brown, Dark Phoenix
dark_p...@netw.com
http://www.associatedcontent.com/user/103910/laurie_brown.html
"To destroy the Western tradition of independent thought, it is not
necessary to burn books. All we have to do is leave them unread for a couple
of generations."
--Robert Maynard Hutchens.
TenshiKurai9
> On 2008-10-09, Edvamp <edv...@aol.com> wrote:
>> humorous to the outlandish to the truly frightening. At one point I
>> was channeling HG Wells thinking I was connected to all points in
>> time, seeing episodes of TV shows that hadn?t aired yet.
>
> Got any good spoilers for us?
Is my name in any of the credits?
On the plus side I can dress up as
>> Frankenstein?s monster for Halloween with no makeup other then neck
>> bolts.
>
> Heh. Don't forget, chicks dig scars. I used to feel really
> awkward about mine (I still do sometimes) but I've noticed that some
> people really are absolutely fascinated by them, in a wholly positive
> way.
Can I see yours next time I'm over?
-TK9
TenshiKurai9
> Wow, that's one hell of an adventure (if that's the right word) you've
> been through. I'm really glad you made it out alive, and I hope your
> recovery is swift. Any chance of a Whitby or Convergence in your not
> too distant future? Failing that, who's up for Convergence 14.5 at
> Edvamp's place?
If it's in the beginning of next year, sure. If it's this year, I've
run-out of holiday time from work so it'll be a bit difficult to promise
that I can make it.
-TK9
Jennie Kermode
> On 2008-10-09, Jennie Kermode <"Jennie Kermode"@triffid.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>> Heh. Don't forget, chicks dig scars.
> Can I see yours next time I'm over?
You see, Ed? You see? ;)
Jennie Kermode
> And on the bright side, this will probably be good for a buttload of
> free drinks at any netgoth event once you're able to drink again.
Heh. Ed doesn't drink, but I'm sure we'll spoil him any way we
can.
Lostat
you have come through it (thus far anyway). I hope you continue to
make a good recovery, and that you're hopefully truly out of the woods.
TenshiKurai9
> On 2008-10-10, Endymion <disinte...@embarqmail.com> wrote:
>> And on the bright side, this will probably be good for a buttload of
>> free drinks at any netgoth event once you're able to drink again.
>
> Heh. Ed doesn't drink, but I'm sure we'll spoil him any way we
> can.
Order him juice or soda while we drink to his name?
-TK9
Joseph Brenner
Edvamp <edv...@aol.com> writes:
> Obviously I haven’t been around lately, responding to emails, etc. I
> have been sick since last December and hospitalized since last March.
Hell. I just thought you'd come to your senses and found something
better to do.
> I joke that other then the holes in my body I am in the
> best shape of my life. [...]
> In addition I have lost over 100 pounds.
Yes, I thought that was coming -- now you just need to write a book
in the "Extreme Weight Loss Diet" genre. You might not need your
old job back.
Elder
79g2000hsk.googlegroups.com>, edv...@aol.com says...
> Ok, that is long enough I think. Thanks for the people that knew and
> emailed me. Looking forward to seeing everyone again.
>
hell and back.
--
Carl Robson
Get cashback on your purchases
Topcashback http://www.TopCashBack.co.uk/skraggy_uk/ref/index.htm
Greasypalm http://www.greasypalm.co.uk/r/?l=1006553
Panurge
>Ed doesn't drink, but I'm sure we'll spoil him any way we can.
One day, Ed, we'll share pizza again! ;-)
I had no idea any of this was going on. God bless ya, Ed--you've come
this far, now just make it the rest of the way.
--
"He who wishes to go beyond it must die."
--Arnold Schoenberg, on Gustav Mahler's Ninth Symphony
`una
> Two days before the surgery the blockage caused my intestines to
> explode. Yes, explode. I was awake and felt it. The only reason I
> am alive is I was in the hospital when it happened.
My SVT story has been completely upstaged :P
Seriously, holy shit, dude!
Glad you are still alive.
Make you a deal: you survive your surgeries and
I'll survive my ablation and we'll meet up at Convergence
one of these years.
`una
TenshiKurai9
> One day, Ed, we'll share pizza again! ;-)
>
> I had no idea any of this was going on. God bless ya, Ed--you've come
> this far, now just make it the rest of the way.
You just made me wonder, if he hadn't come to a condition to contact us,
how would any of us know what became of Ed? How many of us would be
merely not here if our end came since there might not be anyone to
announce to the newsgroup?
-TK9, had put Peter as emergency contact on passport application.
kest
> This is going on Usenet, Myspace and LiveJournal so I don’t have to
> repeat myself.
I'm glad you're around to tell us what happened to you, dude. Holy shit.
I have to say, it strikes me that this is one of the bugs in the Internet
Social Life system. I consider you a good friend, and there's things that
are supposed to happen when good friends are in the hospital narrowly
escaping death, and one of those things are that we're supposed to *know*
about it, and then we can send flowers and cards and balloons and whatnot
while we try not to worry ourselves sick over you. :( As it is, well, I'm
just really fucking glad you're gonna be ok. Still want the flowers?
Email me and tell me where to send them. (Don't forget to take the
spamtrap out of the address.) Or let us know if there's anything else we
can do. (c15 airfare, mebbe? I really wanna give you hugs now and tell
you not to scare us like that ever again.)
k
Jennie Kermode
> You just made me wonder, if he hadn't come to a condition to contact us,
> how would any of us know what became of Ed?
I would have expected to see him in Whitby. When he didn't
show, I would have asked close friends of his who go there, and I expect
they would have been able to tell me. I would then have let people here
know (though probably via email, as with Tal's death - announcements
are best left to close kin).
> How many of us would be merely not here if our end came since there
> might not be anyone to announce to the newsgroup?
A number of us have set up networks with precisely that in
mind. There are a few people here regarding whom I would expect to
receive phone calls if really bad things happened.
The only reason my own announcement was delayed was that Stuart
didn't want to worry people. Of course, I came back to lots of worried
email from people who were concerned because they hadn't seen me for two
weeks, but he did his best in a difficult situation.
Rob
> Ok, that is long enough I think. Thanks for the people that knew and
> emailed me. Looking forward to seeing everyone again.
Fwiw, you are one of the people who first got me hooked on reading
alt.gothic, and it’s always good to see you here. I’m very sorry to
hear you had to go through all that, and I wish you a speedy recovery.
Rob
Siobhan
<ten...@abyss.ninehells.com> wrote:
>You just made me wonder, if he hadn't come to a condition to contact us,
>how would any of us know what became of Ed? How many of us would be
>merely not here if our end came since there might not be anyone to
>announce to the newsgroup?
I'm lucky in that a lot of the people I've met here are now a part of
my regular social life. They would all know where to post any news of
anything that happened to me. And visa-versa.
Siobhan
TenshiKurai9
> was the blockage an inussusseption(sp?)?
Using Google claims, intussusseption.
-TK9
Fnord Prefect Fnord
kewl! i got it right, cause leaving the t out wa sa typo.
whisky-dave
"Siobhan" <ne...@virulent.org> wrote in message
news:oc74f4lo6r6nbbfcf...@4ax.com...
>
> I'm lucky in that a lot of the people I've met here are now a part of
> my regular social life. They would all know where to post any news of
> anything that happened to me. And visa-versa.
I'm sort of the opposite, there's no one on this NG or any other that I
regularly
meet up with, in fact I don;t think any of my RL friends even know the NG
exists
and probably wouldn't be interested even if they did know about it.
Jeff Blanks
> there's no one on this NG or any other that I regularly
> meet up with, in fact I don;t think any of my RL friends even know the NG
> exists and probably wouldn't be interested even if they did know about it.
Leave a note!
--
"There is no excellent beauty which hath not some
strangeness in the proportion." --Francis Bacon
Edvamp
> On Wed, 8 Oct 2008 18:08:07 -0700 (PDT), Edvamp <edv...@aol.com>
> wrote:
>
> >Ok, that is long enough I think. Thanks for the people that knew and
> >emailed me. Looking forward to seeing everyone again.
>
>
> Holy crap, dude.
>
> Swift healing. I'm glad to hear you're still with us.
>
> Siobhan
Thanks sweety. I am planning on doing more traveling and such when I
am better, weekend stuff. So maybe a trip to Toronto/Montreal could
be in the offering.
Edvamp
>
> > humorous to the outlandish to the truly frightening. At one point I
> > was channeling HG Wells thinking I was connected to all points in
> > time, seeing episodes of TV shows that hadn?t aired yet.
>
> Got any good spoilers for us?
Well, the new Knight Rider sucks, but that hardly takes Nostradamus to
predict.
> That's a very common response. Your body would have been
> telling you that your lungs weren't working properly so concentration
> must be vital to continued breathing, and your brain made sense of that
> as best it could. Those unconscious notions have a greater influence in
> that situation.
Yeah, I also had to listen, to time my breaths with the machine, so
the other reason I didn't want tv or music in the beginning. I did
have a digital frame that rotated pictures, so I watched that a lot.
> It's good for kids to learn about that side of life in way
> that isn't made scary for them. Maybe your nephew has the goth gene. ;)
God I hope not. While he is getting into sci fi and stuff early
thanks to his mother, he has the potential of being popular and
athletic as well as smart. It would be nice for him to walk the
balance between those things without turning into a jerk. I hear he
stood up to a bully on the bus recently by getting all the other kids
to stand up with him, but without resorting to violence.
> I can see how that would go. When I was just out of my coma
> and still under heavy sedation, I was wheeled through some corridors and
> temporarily parked outside the hospital shop. It wasn't until I passed
> it later that the experience made sense to me - until then I thought I'd
> been in some kind of supermarket.
The worst was the elevator, since it was so cramped it couldn't
contain my respirator, so they would have to use the hand held one
until I got to my destination.
> Cool. I read about the development of that but you're the
> first person I know who's tried it. I'm glad it's as effective as it
> originally sounded.
Oh yes, it really cut down the healing time. In the beginning they
even used silver to prevent infection, so my back literally had a
silver lining!
> That's very good news. I guess the hospital taff will have
> told you that a lot of people are never able to recover their own voices
> after procedures like that.
No, but that was normal, they wouldn't tell me any bad news I didn't
need to hear to keep my spirits up.
> > Oh, I have also had to shave my hair.
>
> It's weird thinking of you like that, so much thinner and
> bald. I think it could kind of suit you. Very German industrial.
Thankfully the shaved head look came back the last 5 or so years. It
is growing back so I haven't decided if to keep it shaved or short. I
might do a mohawk for Halloween to do Taxi Driver just to see how that
looks.
> I'm lucky; I've never been bedridden long enough to lose my
> walking skills. I just had problems after my stroke because the hospital
> staff decided it was likely I'd forgotten and tried to make me walk
> along with the physio when I was still tangled up in tubes and without
> taking on board the fact that I always have a limp. I was quite keen on
> being mobile again, but I wanted the tubes out and I wanted my boots.
The tubes were a huge impediment to my progress. And it is surprising
how quickly it takes to get the bedsores and losing the ability to
walk. In the beginning I couldn't even turn in bed. If the original
hospital staff had just turned me a little every few hours I probably
wouldn't have had it so bad.
> > will probably need one for the rest of my life, but here?s hoping.
>
> Ach, a cane isn't a big deal. You'll get used to it. Also, it
> can be used as a sort of extensor-arm, and it means you'll always have a
> potential weapon with you.
I used a cane after my car accident and I commented then how quickly a
cripple on a cane can become a guy with a big stick.
> > The Good - Well, I guess the main one is I didn?t die despite having
> > no right to have survived the operation.
>
> You're a goth. We're tough. We do that sort of thing.
True, but I am averaging at least one near death experience per decade
and I'm getting a little tired of it.
> > me. Also, I am much closer to my family, especially my parents. My 7
> > year old nephew agreed to postpone his birthday for over a month so we
> > could have it in the hospital room when I was conscious enough.
>
> He does sound tremendous high quality. :)
Have I mentioned how much I love being an uncle? I was never big on
kids but this rocks.
>
> The best advice I can give you on that s to pur stuff in your
> life between you and what's happened. Emotional stuff works best. Drama
> of one sort of another, or fun, ideally related to a specific event.
> Starting on a new project (even if you've currently very limited in your
> choices there) helps your brain to reorientate itself and set those bad
> experiences firmly in the past. Just don't let the stress limit your
> life, because that's how it traps people.
I am keeping busy with physical therapy at home plus some projects,
including working on pictures and videos I accumulated while sick.
> > I have also become a tad dependent on the pain meds I
> > am getting here, so am looking forward to a fun weekend or so of
> > withdrawal symptoms after I am discharged.
>
> Yeah. I've seen Donald through a few of those. Oddly, it was
> easy for me, which I'd never have expected, as I used to be very fond of
> opiates.
> From whatI've seen, it sucks mightily, but it _is_ only a
> couple of days and once you're over it you'll feel much better - sharper,
> clear-headed, refreshed.
From what I remember it takes 3 days to break a physical addiction,
obviously the psychological dependency can take a lot longer. It has
been a week and I think I have broken the Dilaudid addiction. I am
taking Percoset but not in doses large enough to worry. I am seeing
my doctor and hoping to be put on Flexiril for muscle pain. I got it
after my car accident and it is awesome. Makes your muscles all loose
and Gumby-like.
> > The Ugly - My body has quite the collection of scars. I look like I
> > went 3 rounds with Pinhead and the Cenobites. My trach scar has my
> > throat so tight I cant tilt my head back.
>
> Is that going to ease up in time, or are you stuck with it?
My aunt is a nurse and she said it should ease up over time.
>
> Heh. Don't forget, chicks dig scars. I used to feel really
> awkward about mine (I still do sometimes) but I've noticed that some
> people really are absolutely fascinated by them, in a wholly positive
> way.
Despite having no piercings I can still hang with the body mod crowd
now I guess.
>
> Likewise. I've been having persistent news access problems
> but I shall do my best to be here, and otherwise, you know where to find
> me. We all missed you - people last Whitby were saying how it's never as
> much fun without you there
Just as I was reading this I could hear the CSI theme song in the
background and had the vision of CSI: Whitby. Maybe that was one of
the shows I hallucinated about!
Axel
wrote:
>Thanks sweety. I am planning on doing more traveling and such when I
>am better, weekend stuff. So maybe a trip to Toronto/Montreal could
>be in the offering.
The Once & Future Gin Palace's doors are always open to you [1].
--
Axel... ...Kallisti
"Everything is true, even false things" -Malaclypse the Younger
"How can that be?" "Don't ask me, man, I didn't do it."
<ax...@eol.ca>
[1] Assuming the renovations are not at a stage that the entire house
is full of construction.
Siobhan
wrote:
>Thanks sweety. I am planning on doing more traveling and such when I
>am better, weekend stuff. So maybe a trip to Toronto/Montreal could
>be in the offering.
That would rock. Our guest room is always open.
Siobhan
Edvamp
> Jennie Kermode <"Jennie Kermode"@triffid.demon.co.uk> wrote:
>
> >Ed doesn't drink, but I'm sure we'll spoil him any way we can.
>
> One day, Ed, we'll share pizza again! ;-)
As long as there are no Wasp Factory bands to abscond with the pizza.
Edvamp
> You just made me wonder, if he hadn't come to a condition to contact us,
> how would any of us know what became of Ed? How many of us would be
> merely not here if our end came since there might not be anyone to
> announce to the newsgroup?
I thought about this. Most likely Clare would find out because she
has my home address and number. She would eventually contact my
family when she hadn't heard from me regarding Whitby. She knows
enough people here either in person from Whitby or through LiveJournal
so the news would get out eventually. But otherwise there would be no
way to get the info out.
Edvamp
> I'm glad you're around to tell us what happened to you, dude. Holy shit.
> I have to say, it strikes me that this is one of the bugs in the Internet
> Social Life system. I consider you a good friend, and there's things that
> are supposed to happen when good friends are in the hospital narrowly
> escaping death, and one of those things are that we're supposed to *know*
> about it, and then we can send flowers and cards and balloons and whatnot
> while we try not to worry ourselves sick over you.
Not for nothing, but isn't it better to know now and skip the months
of worry?
As it is, well, I'm
> just really fucking glad you're gonna be ok. Still want the flowers?
> Email me and tell me where to send them. (Don't forget to take the
> spamtrap out of the address.) Or let us know if there's anything else we
> can do. (c15 airfare, mebbe? I really wanna give you hugs now and tell
> you not to scare us like that ever again.)
Just a hug at next C or Whitby I see you at.
Kara
79g2000hsk.googlegroups.com:
> This is going on Usenet, Myspace and LiveJournal so I don’t have to
> repeat myself. I am writing a lot more detail then is probably
> necessary but this is more therapeutic for myself beyond simply
> informing everyone of my year of turmoil.
Oh man. I just thought I would pop my head back into alt.gothic to see
what was going on with everybody, and you post was one of the first read.
I'm so sorry to hear about all your troubles, and glad you made it through
as well as you did! I hope the last of your operations go well.
Now make sure you get well, and practice with that stick, and I'll see you
in Whitby soon!
Kara