Peter H. Coffin
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Solomon Kane [2009] is an interest experiment in how a film can do
pretty much everything right, almost exactly, with the exception of
having an interesting and gripping story. The acting was pretty good. It
had Max Von Sydow in it. There was a pretty girl and enough rain to even
make Ridley Scott wish for a ray of sunshine. There were lots of decent
special effects and final boss monster that was on par with most
anything Hollywood's come up with, in terms of absolute niftyness. And
there was even good pacing and an overall story that made sense. It was
just really, really hard to care about it. The scorings you see out
there, 3 of 5 stars, 5.9 out of ten, whatever.. They're pretty accurate
-- it's a good, but not stunning film, and it only missed stunning not
because it did anything wrong. It just didn't quite make that last
little leap.
--
How about an Australian-language version? 'Your program just attempted
an illegal instruction. No worries, mate.'
-- Paul Tomblin