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TED CASABLANCA 11/20/09 **BLIND ITEM**
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pusss...@aol.com
Nov 20, 2009, 6:27:30 PM11/20/09
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http://tinyurl.com/y9omanj
Darlings, we were going to give you a New Moon Vice update, but for
all of you who are so sick of vampires you could cry blood, we'll
reward you by bringing back an oldie but yummy goodie. Remember Crotch
Uh-Lastic, the hunky, rising male star who would hire men to come back
to his Hills pad, dress up in some swim trunks and get the naughty
party started? We can't believe it's almost been two years, but Crotch
has officially risen, like a hunky hero out of burning celeb-saturated
waters! Mr. Uh-Lastic has solidified himself as a respected Hollywood
actor, which means it's time to be even more discreet 'bout his
homolicious ways... See, Crotch would love to go out, hit up the gay
scene and bring himself back a cutie. But as the fagola Hollywood
story goes, he so cannot out himself. Not because he cares about
being famous. No, Toothy Tile Crotch is not. Instead, CUL is more
concerned how his sexuality would hinder the roles he gets, 'cause
he's now being taken oh so seriously. He loves acting—not the ritzy
lifestyle that comes with it. He doesn't even care that much about
hurting his beard (if Toothy outted himself, it would be very damning
to the both of them, in many, many ways). So what's a horny, dude-
loving guy to do? Sic his assistant on the unknowing gay population of
Los Angles, natch. Only problem is the de-lish men in West Hollywood
are totally starting to catch on—and they're blabbin' about it, too!
Halle-homo-lujah! Mr. Lastic's assistant frequents the standard WeHo
gay bars, successfully luring back men for his famous master. Too
funny: It's also the exact same dude-fishing MO Furrowed Frank uses
when he has his trainer lure future conquests for him at the gym! Only
problem is, if said man isn't interested in hooking up with Crotch on
the down-low, the guy has no reason not to spread it around to his
gossip-lovin' friends. Seems pretty strange to us, as Mr. U.-L. is as
hunky doable as they come. And as sneaky as Crotch would like to be,
more and more people 'round town are starting to hear about what goes
down, literally, up in his Hollywood home. And it's not just poolside,
folks. Think any of these guys will out dear old Crotchy soon?
Doubtful. With his adorable dimples, more men will jump at the chance
to jump CUH and then shut up about it after than won't. But remember,
it only takes one. And It Ain't: Alexander Skarsgård, Matthew Fox,
Ryan Phillippe.
Darlings, we were going to give you a New Moon Vice update, but for
all of you who are so sick of vampires you could cry blood, we'll
reward you by bringing back an oldie but yummy goodie. Remember Crotch
Uh-Lastic, the hunky, rising male star who would hire men to come back
to his Hills pad, dress up in some swim trunks and get the naughty
party started? We can't believe it's almost been two years, but Crotch
has officially risen, like a hunky hero out of burning celeb-saturated
waters! Mr. Uh-Lastic has solidified himself as a respected Hollywood
actor, which means it's time to be even more discreet 'bout his
homolicious ways... See, Crotch would love to go out, hit up the gay
scene and bring himself back a cutie. But as the fagola Hollywood
story goes, he so cannot out himself. Not because he cares about
being famous. No, Toothy Tile Crotch is not. Instead, CUL is more
concerned how his sexuality would hinder the roles he gets, 'cause
he's now being taken oh so seriously. He loves acting—not the ritzy
lifestyle that comes with it. He doesn't even care that much about
hurting his beard (if Toothy outted himself, it would be very damning
to the both of them, in many, many ways). So what's a horny, dude-
loving guy to do? Sic his assistant on the unknowing gay population of
Los Angles, natch. Only problem is the de-lish men in West Hollywood
are totally starting to catch on—and they're blabbin' about it, too!
Halle-homo-lujah! Mr. Lastic's assistant frequents the standard WeHo
gay bars, successfully luring back men for his famous master. Too
funny: It's also the exact same dude-fishing MO Furrowed Frank uses
when he has his trainer lure future conquests for him at the gym! Only
problem is, if said man isn't interested in hooking up with Crotch on
the down-low, the guy has no reason not to spread it around to his
gossip-lovin' friends. Seems pretty strange to us, as Mr. U.-L. is as
hunky doable as they come. And as sneaky as Crotch would like to be,
more and more people 'round town are starting to hear about what goes
down, literally, up in his Hollywood home. And it's not just poolside,
folks. Think any of these guys will out dear old Crotchy soon?
Doubtful. With his adorable dimples, more men will jump at the chance
to jump CUH and then shut up about it after than won't. But remember,
it only takes one. And It Ain't: Alexander Skarsgård, Matthew Fox,
Ryan Phillippe.
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Laninna
Nov 20, 2009, 7:55:50 PM11/20/09
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Zac Efron
Smokie Darling (Annie)
Nov 20, 2009, 8:29:24 PM11/20/09
to
Since when has he been taken "oh so seriously" though?
Laninna
Nov 20, 2009, 11:58:28 PM11/20/09
to
On Nov 20, 5:29 pm, "Smokie Darling (Annie)" <Barnabus1...@yahoo.com>
wrote:> Since when has he been taken "oh so seriously" though?- Hide quoted text -
>
> - Show quoted text -
wrote:
>
> - Show quoted text -
"Me and Orson Welles."
wantthis
Nov 21, 2009, 1:24:32 AM11/21/09
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sorry I love gossip but his crud is so stupid~~long, and so UNREADABLE
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