What's on TV Mon. Dec. 13
PUSSSYKATT
Tonight's Best Bets
Becker
The spirit of old St. Nick lives on when Becker (Ted Danson) finds the true
meaning of Christmas in--of all the merry places--the morgue. In "Santas On
Ice," when a man dressed as the one and only Mr. Clause dies in Becker's
office, he's called in to help ID the body. With a room full of deceased
Santa's surrounding him, Becker finally finds the one he's looking for, but not
before he learns the meaning of Christmas from the odd members of the crew
working the graveyard shift. (I guess they have time to sit and mull things
like that over.) Meanwhile, Reggie (Terry Farrell) seeks the perfect tree for
her holiday party. --Torye Mullins
9:30 p.m. (ET/PT) CBX
7th Heaven
Forget Me Not - Annie learns that her father is in the early stages of
Alzheimer's disease. Stars Stephen Collins and Catherine Hicks. 8:00 p.m.
(ET/PT) The WB
The Ice Storm
Suburbanites in failing marriages seek fulfillment elsewhere, while their teen
children explore sexuality. Stars Kevin Kline and Joan Allen. 8:00 p.m.
(ET/PT) Cinemax
Better Off Dead
After his girlfriend dumps him for a skier, a teen meets an exchange student
from France. Stars John Cusack and Diane Franklin. 8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) Comedy
Central
Ally McBeal
Saving Santa - Ally and Cage face Georgia in court over a suit by a fired
department-store Santa. Stars Calista Flockhart and Greg Germann. 9:00 p.m.
(ET/PT) FOX
Everybody Loves Raymond
The Christmas Picture - Ray tries to organize a family photo shoot for a
Christmas present to his parents. Stars Ray Romano and Patricia Heaton. 9:00
p.m. (ET/PT) CBS
Dennis Miller: The Millennium Special: 1000 Years, 100 Laughs
Miller skews 1000 years of history in seven chapters; with Norm Macdonald. 9:45
p.m. (ET/PT) HBO
A Christmas Story
In 1940s Indiana little Ralphie tries to convince adults that he should get a
Red Ryder range-model BB gun for Christmas. Stars Peter Billingsley and Darren
McGavin. 10:05 p.m. (ET/PT) TBS
[ 8:00 p.m. ]
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20/20
An informant infiltrates hate groups suspected of planning terrorist attacks.
8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) ABC
The Hollywood Fashion Machine
Hollywood Rocks - Gems and jewelry. 8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) AMC
Biography of the Year
This year's most influential personality. 8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) A&E
Wait Until Dark
A blind woman has strange men in her Greenwich Village apartment, searching for
a heroin-filled doll. Stars Audrey Hepburn and Alan Arkin. 8:00 p.m. (ET/PT)
Bravo!
The King of Queens
Net Prophets - Carrie insists that she and Doug use her Christmas bonus to
invest in Internet stocks. Stars Kevin James and Leah Remini. 8:00 p.m.
(ET/PT) CBS
Theme Park Thrills
Universal Studios Hollywood combines the filmmaking process with entertainment.
8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) Discovery
The Angel of Pennsylvania Avenue
Three Depression-era kids ask President Hoover to free their unjustly jailed
father for Christmas. Stars Diana Scarwid and Robert Urich. 8:00 p.m. (ET/PT)
Fox Family Channel
Time of Your Life
The Time They Had Not - Sarah takes a job at Bloomingdale's to earn extra
holiday money. Stars Jennifer Love Hewitt and Johnathon Schaech. 8:00 p.m.
(ET/PT) FOX
Home Fries
Two killers fear a fast-food cashier and her associates may be able to identify
them. Stars Drew Barrymore and Luke Wilson. 8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) HBO
Roswell: Secrets Unveiled
A strange object falls from the sky in 1947 New Mexico. 8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) The
History Channel
Beyond Chance
Emergency on Route 7; Family Flight; Healing Pets; Dream Doctor; A Vision of
Michael - A man saves the life of a friend who convinced him to become an
emergency medical worker. 8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) Lifetime
True Life
I Need Sex Rx - Young adults seek medical information regarding sex. 8:00 p.m.
(ET/PT) MTV
Suddenly Susan
First Date - Oliver becomes violently ill during a dinner with Susan. Stars
Brooke Shields and Judd Nelson. 8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) NBC
The Outer Limits
The Joining - A scientist merges his DNA with life forms on Venus. Stars C.
Thomas Howell and Amanda Tapping. 8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) Sci-Fi Channel
The Big Hit
The kidnapping of a millionaire's daughter turns bad for an insecure hit man
and his partner. Stars Mark Wahlberg and Lou Diamond Phillips. 8:00 p.m.
(ET/PT) Showtime
Monsieur Verdoux
A Paris bank clerk woos, weds and then kills rich women to support his ailing
wife and son. Stars Charles Chaplin and Martha Raye. 8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) TCM
Paramedics
For Better, for Worse - New Orleans Emergency Medical Service handles whatever
comes its way. 8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) The Learning Channel
Woman's Day Holiday Special
Host Florence Henderson creates holiday recipes and crafts; guest Brad Paisley.
8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) The Nashville Network
WCW Monday Nitro Live!
Tony Schiavone; Bobby Heenan; Larry Zbyszko; Gene Okerlund; Mike Tenay. 8:00
p.m. (ET/PT) TNT
Moesha
Just Above My Head - Moesha debates whether to address her history teacher's
(John Prosky) racism; Dorian tries to keep a secret from his family. Stars
Brandy Norwood and Sheryl Lee Ralph. 8:00 p.m. (ET/PT) UPN
Holiday Festival on Ice
Kristi Yamaguchi, Todd Eldredge, Kurt Browning, Isabelle Brasseur and Lloyd
Eisler skate in a Christmas show in Denver. 8:05 p.m. (ET/PT) TBS
Mr. Headmistress
Fresh from jail, a con man flees creditors by disguising himself as
headmistress at a girls school. Stars Harland Williams and Katey Sagal. 8:8:
p.m. (ET/PT) The Disney Channel
[ 8:30 p.m. ]
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Laura
An arrogant New York columnist taunts a detective obsessed with a slain woman's
portrait. Stars Gene Tierney and Dana Andrews. 8:30 p.m. (ET/PT) AMC
Mysteries & Scandals
Gene Tierney - Actress Gene Tierney suffers from depression. 8:30 p.m. (ET/PT)
E!
True Life
I'm a Hacker - Computer hackers access everything from school grades to
military software. 8:30 p.m. (ET/PT) MTV
Veronica's Closet
Veronica's New Year - An accident threatens Veronica's opportunity to sing with
Isaac Hayes at a New Year's party. Stars Kirstie Alley and Kathy Najimy. 8:30
p.m. (ET/PT) NBC
The Parkers
The Boomerang Effect - Kim falls for the model when she and Nikki create a male
pinup calendar for their marketing class. Stars Countess Vaughn and Mo'Nique.
8:30 p.m. (ET/PT) UPN
[ 9:00 p.m. ]
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NFL Football
Ed McCaffery leads the Broncos against Mark Brunell and the Jaguars. 9:00 p.m.
(ET/PT) ABC
No Place to Hide: Little Brother
Computer hackers invade individual privacy. 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT) Discovery
Figure Skating
ISU Cup of Russia - From St. Petersburg, Russia. 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT) ESPN
Bowling
PBA Japan Cup - From Tokyo. 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT) ESPN2
Andy Kaufman: The E! True Hollywood Story
The eccentric comic; with Judd Hirsch, Joe Piscopo, Richard Belzer. 9:00 p.m.
(ET/PT) E!
Nicholas and Alexandra
Czar Nicholas II and his German bride obey mad monk Rasputin, leading up to the
Russian Revolution. Stars Michael Jayston and Janet Suzman. 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT)
HBO Signature
History's Greatest Blunders
America's Greatest Port Disaster; Great Bridge Disasters - An ammunition ship
explodes in Texas City; the Tacoma Narrows Bridge fails. 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT) The
History Channel
Deceptions
California detectives disagree about their mansion-murder suspect, the victim's
seductive wife. Stars Harry Hamlin and Nicollette Sheridan. 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT)
Lifetime
Fight for Your Rights
Scared Straight! 1999 - Juvenile delinquents re-evaluate their turbulent lives.
9:00 p.m. (ET/PT) MTV
Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
A Single Life - Benson and Stabler unearth several suspects in the case of a
woman who fell to her death. Stars Chris Meloni and Mariska Hargitay. 9:00
p.m. (ET/PT) NBC
Stephen King's The Stand
Earth's survivors of a catastrophic epidemic battle a satanic being (Jamey
Sheridan); with Gary Sinise; Molly Ringwald; Rob Lowe; Laura San Giacomo; Ossie
Davis; Ruby Dee; Ray Walston; based on Stephen King's novel. Stars Gary Sinise
and Molly Ringwald. 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT) Sci-Fi Channel
Cosmic Safari
Scientists lay out their views of evolution; possible space inhabitants. 9:00
p.m. (ET/PT) The Learning Channel
As Good as It Gets
A New York City waitress, a gay painter and a dog help a misanthropic author
reach a self-awakening. Stars Jack Nicholson and Helen Hunt. 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT)
TMC
Prime Time Country With Gary Chapman
Billy Dean; Emma Kragen; St. Nicholas Children's Choir. 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT) The
Nashville Network
Grown Ups
Truth Be Told - J's new girlfriend reveals that she's a virgin during a game of
``Truth Be Told.'' Stars Jaleel White and Dave Ruby. 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT) UPN
Behind the Music
Dr. Dre - Rapper/producer Dr. Dre brings gangsta rap to the masses through
Death Row Records. 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT) VH1
7th Heaven: Beginnings
Nobody Knows ... - Mary gets her driver's license; Matt learns Aunt Julie may
be back in town. Stars Stephen Collins and Catherine Hicks. 9:00 p.m. (ET/PT)
The WB
[ 9:30 p.m. ]
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Malcolm & Eddie
Clubbed - The guys use radio publicity to compete with a new nightclub. Stars
Malcolm-Jamal Warner and Eddie Griffin. 9:30 p.m. (ET/PT) UPN
Witness to the Execution
Dan White assassinates gay politician Harvey Milk. 9:35 p.m. (ET/PT) Showtime
[ 10:00 p.m. ]
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From the Terrace
A rich World War II veteran and his socialite wife ruin their lives with
affairs. Stars Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward. 10:00 p.m. (ET/PT) AMC
Biography of the Year
This year's most influential personality. 10:00 p.m. (ET/PT) A&E
Family Law
Decisions - Lynn must decide whether an AIDS-stricken boy will be administered
life-prolonging drugs; Danni defends her father when he causes a car accident;
Rex unknowingly becomes the subject of a filmmaker's documentary. Stars
Kathleen Quinlan and Julie Warner. 10:00 p.m. (ET/PT) CBS
Strangers With Candy
Dreams on the Rocks - Due to her stepmother's drinking, Jerri may lose the lead
in the school play. 10:00 p.m. (ET/PT) Comedy Central
The Boy Who Could Fly
A teen-age girl befriends an autistic boy who sits on his roof, perched as if
ready to fly. Stars Lucy Deakins and Jay Underwood. 10:00 p.m. (ET/PT) The
Disney Channel
Spytek
Spy vs. Spy - Technology plays an important role in espionage. 10:00 p.m.
(ET/PT) Discovery
Casino Technology
Gaming evolves into a high-tech, multibillion-dollar industry. 10:00 p.m.
(ET/PT) The History Channel
Copycat
A criminal psychologist helps two detectives trail a killer whose crimes mirror
those of infamous mass murderers. Stars Sigourney Weaver and Holly Hunter.
10:00 p.m. (ET/PT) Cinemax
Road Rules
Semester-at-Sea - Aboard ship: Malaysian wildlife center; Yes must decide
between two women. 10:00 p.m. (ET/PT) MTV
Execution of Justice
In 1978 a gay San Francisco official and the city's mayor are murdered, but the
killer is sentenced to only seven years in prison. Stars Timothy Daly and
Peter Coyote. 10:00 p.m. (ET/PT) Showtime
A Country Holiday at Walt Disney World
Tim McGraw, Tanya Tucker and John Berry perform a collection of holiday hits.
10:00 p.m. (ET/PT) The Nashville Network
A Christmas Story
In 1940s Indiana little Ralphie tries to convince adults that he should get a
Red Ryder range-model BB gun for Christmas. Stars Peter Billingsley and Darren
McGavin. 10:05 p.m. (ET/PT) TBS
Limelight
A has-been music-hall clown helps a suicidal ballerina become the toast of 1917
London. Stars Charlie Chaplin and Claire Bloom. 10:15 p.m. (ET/PT) TCM
[ 10:30 p.m. ]
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Upright Citizens Brigade
Disrupting happy couples. 10:30 p.m. (ET/PT) Comedy Central
Road Rules
Semester-at-Sea - Aboard ship: race in Vietnam; Shawn has relationship
problems. 10:30 p.m. (ET/PT) MTV
[ 11:00 p.m. ]
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Wait Until Dark
A blind woman has strange men in her Greenwich Village apartment, searching for
a heroin-filled doll. Stars Audrey Hepburn and Alan Arkin. 11:00 p.m. (ET/PT)
Bravo!
Theme Park Thrills
Universal Studios Hollywood combines the filmmaking process with entertainment.
11:00 p.m. (ET/PT) Discovery
The X Show
``Get in My Tummy''; turkey; skiing. 11:00 p.m. (ET/PT) FX
Women Who Love Killers
Women in love with convicted killers in prison tell their tales. 11:00 p.m.
(ET/PT) HBO
History's Lost & Found
Hollywood sign; fairy photo; Lewis and Clark's shopping list; World War II
Japanese surrender table; first vacuum cleaner; the Bog Man; Space Shuttle
Challenger crew cabin. 11:00 p.m. (ET/PT) The History Channel
Loveline
Mindy Sterling. 11:00 p.m. (ET/PT) MTV
Stephen King's The Stand
Earth's survivors of a catastrophic epidemic battle a satanic being (Jamey
Sheridan); with Gary Sinise; Molly Ringwald; Rob Lowe; Laura San Giacomo; Ossie
Davis; Ruby Dee; Ray Walston; based on Stephen King's novel. Stars Gary Sinise
and Molly Ringwald. 11:00 p.m. (ET/PT) Sci-Fi Channel
Paramedics
For Better, for Worse - New Orleans Emergency Medical Service handles whatever
comes its way. 11:00 p.m. (ET/PT) The Learning Channel
Who's the Man?
Two Harlem barbers score well on a multiple-choice police exam and use their
badges to expose a ruthless developer. Stars Ed Lover and Doctor Dre. 11:00
p.m. (ET/PT) TNT
The List
Become a Legend - Become a legend: host Johnny Rzeznick. 11:00 p.m. (ET/PT) VH1
U-Turn
A two-bit criminal meets an attractive woman and her spouse, each of whom wants
him to murder the other. Stars Sean Penn and Nick Nolte. 11:8 p.m. (ET/PT) TMC
[ 11:30 p.m. ]
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Def Leppard: In the Round, in Your Face
The group performs ``Hysteria,'' ``Animal,'' ``Pour Some Sugar on Me.'' 11:30
p.m. (ET/PT) VH1
Jay Leno/NBC/11:30 p.m.: Robin Williams; Blue Man Group
David Letterman/CBS/11:30 p.m.: Courtney Love; transatlantic rower Tori
Murden; band R.E.M.
Politically Incorrect/ABC/12:00 a.m.: Martin Short; Donny Osmond; Bob Enyart;
Armin Brott
Conan O'Brien/NBC/12:30 a.m.: Robin Williams; Rebecca Romijn-Stamos
Craig Kilborn/CBS/12:30 a.m.: Rob Schneider; football analyst Howie Long;
hygiene expert Ken Smith
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Volfie
>The spirit of old St. Nick lives on when Becker (Ted Danson) finds the true
>meaning of Christmas in--of all the merry places--the morgue.
Boy, the writer's are getting hard up, aren't they?
Volfie -> or they are smoking wayyyy too many joints
Wild Wonderful Mary Beth
Come on, they need *some* kind of inspiration to write a Christmas episode for
Ted Danson. (I thought this show had been cancelled already. Does anyone
actually own up to watching it, or are they just paying nursing homes to tune
the set to CBS a few nights a week now?) If that's the best they can do, they
need harder drugs.
(And imagine what it would take if they had to write a Christmas episode for
Tony Danza.)
Regards,
Mary Beth
~*~ Blessed are those who have nothing to say and who cannot be persuaded to
say it ~*~
Please make sure your IQ is higher than your shoe size before you mail me!