Someone has been using my name on the net, and I am trying to find out more
about what is
behind all this..  I read about this newsgroup, and I thought I might get some
answers here.  

From what I have seen, this group is based on enterainment, and I have noticed
some great  flames, lots of humorous stuff, and all kinds of neat creative
writing.   I don't think there has ever been a newgroup like this one, so I can
see why it has become so popular.

As the real Bill Palmer, though, I have a question or two for regular readers
and posters.  Who is Bill Palmer?  Is he real, or is all this just a put on?  I
read in a magazine  article that he was simply a bunch of computers that a some
Russian and American computer experts hooked together for fun.  
If so why did they choose my name for their program?

I also read that part of all this was a million-dollar bet to see if they could
create the most popular Usenet newsgroup of 1997 with the right program.  Was
anyone paid on this bet, or was the whole thing a put-on that got out of
control?

Are all these "wilhelp" posts by the same person?  Where did "wilhelp" come
from anyway, and how does it connect with this newsgroup?

                                 !!!!! ALWAYS TRUST A MAGICIAN!!!!
                                           * Party Favors, Balloons*

In a previous post, APAPalm the aoloser wrote:

I would remark that there are probably several Bill Palmers on the 'net,
and I would rub your nose in your own fecal stupidity, but obviously
you're trolling for dullards, so....um.....anyway.

If you call spanking Palmjob off the 'net once every 102.6 hours
'entertainment'....

Except for alt.flame, alt.flame.niggers, alt.butt.harp,
alt.fan.karl-malden.nose, alt.stupid-ass.bill-palmer, alt.evil,
alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk.,
alt.nuke.the.USA, aus.flame, aus.flame.usa,
alt.life.sucks, alt.college.college-bowl,
alt.college.college-meow, rec.org.mensa,
rec.arts.prose, talk.abortion, alt.flame.abortion, yadda yadda yadda
yadda yadda........

Does this question apply for our constipated readers and posters as
well?  If not, then I guess Big Daddy Zeus might as well click for the
next post...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!

Funny you should ask.  Biiiiil Palmer?

If you really want to know, here's a good
place to start:

http://www.math.uiuc.edu/~tskirvin/home/daemons/

But here's the short of it all:

Bill Palmer is a racist windbag and a cowardly piece of chickenshit.

Were you hallucinating when you browsed through those dozens of
PalmKKKrap (tm) messages?

computers...

But how could you get even the most powerful set of computers in the
world to come up with The Spankiest Spank Ever Spanked?

But nothing surprises me anymore, and I have wondered myself if the
racist windbag known as Palmjob isn't just a highly-evolved 'Bot......

Or a 'Bot working with occasional human support, kind of like the humans
that set the various settings before Deep Thought goes into a chess
match.....

ObTournamentPoolDarkhorseAdvisory:  Archie Leach thinks that the
#15-ranked Michigan State Spartan men's basketball team can go a long
ways in the NCAA Tournament if Jason Klein gets hot from three-point
range...

Just who the hell is this lunatic?  I ask a couple of questions and someone
breaks up my lines.   Then he makes a bunch of stupid little remarks that don't
make any sense at all.

What is the joke about making all my lines short?   Sorry, but I guess I'm not
with it.

I ask a couple of questions and I get THAT?  Who is this guy anyway?   Just
what is the big joke here?   There may be several Bill Palmers on the net, but
I am one of them and think I have the
right to ask what is going on.  I'm getting email inteneded for this nut, and
none of it makes a lick of sense..

I don't really like that name "Palmjob".  A kid called me that when I was in
the third grade.  I fractured his skull.  No real Palmer likes a name like that
  Did the otherBill  Palmer tell you it was okay for you to call him that name?

Not what I read in the newsgroup announcement in AOL.  They said
alt.genius.bill-palmer was a uniqe newsgroup based on creative writing,
flaming, and humor.   What kind of a group is this?   Why do I get insulted for
asking a couple of questions?

Please explain.  I don't get the joke.  Is everyone "Bill Palmer" or
something?

What would a website by someone who is not "Bill Palmer" possibly have to tell
me about this famous group?  How do I know
the guy at that site isn't an enemy of the other Bill Palmer?   Might as well
ask the Man in the Moon about Bill Palmer, I guess, unless
you can direct me to the official Bill Palmer website and I can't seem to find
that.

Funny, I just read an article called "Racist Drivel Unwelcome In
alt.genius.bill-palmer".   Are you saying that article is a forgery?  It
said the opposite of what you are saying here.

I DID read "Racist Drivel Unwelcome in alt.genius.bill-palmer.
It was written by someone calling himself wilhelp Bill Palmer and
his anti-racist  message seemed very clear.   I still don't get your joke at
all.  Are you saying all this a big "put on" and there is really no other Bill
Palmer?

I don't follow you at all.  Why do you make my sentences so short?

No, that's not what I read in "Racist Drivel Unwelcome in
alt.genius.bill-palmer".    I ask again if that article was a forgery.

 known as Palmjob isn't just a highly-evolved 'Bot......

What I thought was interesting was when the magazine says the whole thing was
part of million dollar bet between the Russian and
American millionaires that the computer team could create a newsgroup that
would become the most popular one of 1997.

Can you refer me to some articles in the group that discuss that angle of Bill
Palmer?  Is he a Russian person?   I am finding some
interesting things but a lot of gaps.   Things that don't add up.
Roads that go no place.   That's why I asked the readers for help, and all I
get this one mental problem person who makes my sentences short and says lots
of bad  things that make no sense.    I've got a right to know whothe other
Bill Palmer is because that is my name too and it's starting to affect my
life..  

Is this other Bill Palmer a Michigan State Spartan computer?
I don't understand  the joke.

 can go a long

I think something funny is going on here.  I've got a right to know
about it.    I have emailed the other Bill Palmer but no one ever
responds.   Can anyone explain what is going on here?

Bill Palmer

                    !!! ALWAYS TRUST A MAGICIAN!!!
                                *Balloons  Party Favors*

Christ in hell, you're even more obnoxious than the "other' Biiil
Palmer......

Asshole....go find out for your fucking self, you somehow magically
summoned your head from your colon to figure out how to put your
horseshit magician's site on the web......scumbag troll....

Archie Leach

In article <19980210080201.DAA13...@ladder03.news.aol.com>,
  apap...@aol.com (APAPalm) wrote:

They make perfectly good sense, fuckwit.  And I broke up your fucking
lines because I was using my WEBTV browser at the time, and WEBTV does
not currently support a "Quote text" feature on its Usenet browser, you
hyperactive, egotistical piece of rhinocerous shit....

No, you're not with it, and what's more, you're not sorry, you're
pathetic.

And I make a few smart-ass remarks and I get this poltroon blind-siding
me for flaming the Original Palmjob....

That you're a Grubor alias?

Well, then change your name.  Or learn how to read....

No.  Doctoring names is a flaming tradition, Palmjob2.  If you don't like
it, then I guess you can come find me and fracture my skull, you
psychotic piece of crystal-meth-whiffing trash.  But 10-20 in Jackson
State Prison would kinda put a bummer on your magic career, eh?

As if you won't get busted sooner or later for molesting eight-year-olds
at their birthday parties......oops.  Sorry.  Didn't mean to steal a
classic Grubor riff there.....

Because you're almost as much of an idiot, Palmjob2, as the original
Palmjob.

I hope not.  It's bad enough that you're Bill Palmer.

Listen, you indignant trolling asshole, it's clear that you're either
really, really ignorant, or otherwise you're really, really expert at
trolling, and figuring that you're an aol-er, I'm guessing that you're a
hookwormed old crank.

What I said was that the site listed above was a place to start.

There are many other places to find info on Palmjob.....or the
combination of Russian and American hackers and software and hardware
that masquerades as the world's Most Boring Racist--DumbFucK

Sounds like a personal problem to me...

I would advise you to judge the situation for yourself, but that might
take quite a lot of time for an ignorant fool like yourself to
accomplish--and all that time taken might squeeze out other things on
your schedule, like your weekly volunteering session at the School for
the Blind during which you go find the most disabled of the blind
students and take him into one of the cleaning closets and give him a
good old-fashioned ass-rape...

Usenet doesn't need trash like you around.  There's far too many kooks
roaming around the various newsgroups, as it stands right now.

If you want to pollute the 'net with your inconsequential, deranged
rambling, why don't you find an appropriate group, like, for instance,
alt.support.boy-lovers.

In the meantime, make like a magician and disappear.

QED?

Archie Leach

-------------------==== Posted via Deja News ====-----------------------
      http://www.dejanews.com/     Search, Read, Post to Usenet

Wow.  I've never seen you take this tack before.  <snicker>

That's never stopped you before.

"Ouch!"

[...]

Proof please.

--
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-M i k e  M a c L e n n a n -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

mmaclenn[SHIFT+2]ix.netcom.com           defame[SHIFT+2]wilhelp.com

      Want fame?  Say something stupid to reserve your space below.

     Don't bother asking me to "post proof" for my "suspicians";
     THAT is the sort of unreasonable request favored by the
     "Louse-monkeys" and the "Lousy MacLemons" (providing
      they are indeed different crude entities) of the net.

Biil Palmer chiding others for daring to ask him to back up
 his arguments in <65acb7$...@dfw-ixnews9.ix.netcom.com>

[...]

Some interesting points merit being brought out here.

First, I have previously suggested that "Archie
Leach" <stucopel...@webtv.com> is quite possibly
a sore flame war loser sneaking back for revenge.

Now, I am given pause to wonder if I was not being
a bit hasty in reaching my conclusions.

As a matter of fact, while I hate to give my
opponents any credit, I cannot think of one of
them who has come off quite as low, aberrant, and
vicious as this character.  

First, he practically gets on his knees to beg for The
Flame Giant's attention.  Lots of people do that
nowadays.

Then, after a fairly mild toasting, "Leach" leaps into
such ugly racist sewage that he actually gives himself
away by inserting "KKK"'s in my text!  Okay, so we know
he's very racist, and very dirty (with all the textual
alterations).  Then came the personal attacks posted
to all sorts of non-flame groups, some of them which
I have never even posted ANTHING, let alone a FLAME,
in!  

All that was indicitive of a desperate loser who isn't
playing with full deck.  NOW we find  that "Archie" is
repulsively perverted to boot!

In fact, with the latest aberrant fantasies that
have been spewed forth from the reeking cesspool
that our "Archie Leach"  <stucopl...@webtv.com>
entity seems to call a brain, we want to call the
folks in the white coats to help scrape him into
some loony bin for deviates.  In fact, this
foul entity's drool proves unhappily suggestive of
a "brain" composed of two rotting frontal lobes
faintly sparked by feeble limbic activity.

It's amazing, actually, to witness the depths of "Leach"'s
perversion.  (YOU can backtrack on the thread if you have
a very strong stomach, dear reader; in no way is that sewage
going to be allowed to seep into my little corner of the
Dejanews archive.)

"Archie Leach"?, in fact, nearly makes Wormy Wilkes and even
poor ol' Pus Bag look almost normal.  With Pus Bag and Wormy
Wilkes, I always point out I am refusing to jump down
in their gutter and match them perverted secenario
with perverted scenario, since that would merely drag
me down to their level.  But with this "Archie Leach"
entity, I've got to admit, I could IN NO WAY match this
pervert's disgusting drivel even if I let decency hang,
and tried to plumb the depths of my own imagination
for a "comeback" that was anything like what this
pervert "Archie" posted.

Therefore, I won't try.  This "Leach" is sick enough to be
in a staight-jacket.   It is very plain to readers what
his proclivities are (be they latent or overt) and
frankly I wouldn't touch this guy and his favorite
preoccupations with a one-hundred foot pole, so please
pardon me if I don't reply tit-for-tat!  

"Archie Leach":  What a sickie!  To paraphrase, "By their
own thoughts you shall know them"...

But as I say, this "leach" entity's disgusting pathology
almost (I do have to qualify with "almost") shoots down my
theory that he is simply another Flame Giant toasting
victim sneaking back for a coward's revenge under a
new fake name.  

In the many cases where that happened, the vindictive
sneaks usually have stayed at the about the same
level of "laming", as far as content of their flames--
no better and no worse.

Hey, I've got to admit it; if this guy DOES turn out
to be one of my toasting victims creeping back, my
roasting of him must have turned him into a perverted
monster!  As I have been saying, I can't think
of one of my opponents right off the bat who would
want to post such ugly, deviated, self-revealing,
pestilential swill as "Achie Leach" posting from
<stucopel...@webtv.com>.  Of course, some people
do get very "brave" hiding behind a fake name.

The guy almost makes the little "sheep" fantasies
of Cockroach Rog Wemyss seem cute.  (Almost, not
quite; those "roach-dreams" WERE a bit on the
repugnant side too, but compared with "Archie
Leach"'s posted proclivities, they don't look
quite so nasty!)

Frankly, "Leach"'s racist rants suggested Human Leech
David Kendrick, but unless I've missed something about
Kendrick, I've never known him to drool anything quite
as deviated as the reeking mound of diseased tripe that
this "Archie Leach" spewed from his "heart" last time.

The man is very ill--what other explanation could there
be?  Plainly, <copel...@webtv.com> wasn't calling names:  
He was showing us where he LIVES, and that's scary as hell.

-----------------------------------------

Now, as to this other "Bill Palmer" that has set "Leach"
foaming at the mouth, I suspect this guy is a plant
too.  He may even BE our "Leach" entity.

Actually, I had in mind someone like Eskwired.  After
all, Eskwired hasn't been around lately.  The first
time I recall THAT loser, he was sneaking around in
alt.genius.bill-palmer asking what seemed like
innocent questions.  Soon enough, though, he was
polluting the group with his racist defamations.

We'll have to wait and see about this other one.

One thing that strikes me as phony is the way
he closes, "Always Trust a Magician" and
"Balloons and Party Favors".   I mean, at a
glance that sounds innocent enough, but what
is he saying, does he SELL "balloons and
party" favors?  

Anyway, while my curious new "namesake"
certainly has not proved as vicious, dishonest,
racist, sexually depraved, and generally ugly
and desperate as "Archie Leach" <stucopeland@
webtv.com> the entity bears watching while in
alt.genius.bill-palmer and may well be a plant.

More to follow, no doubt...

Bill Palmer
Creator and proprietor of wilhelp
alt.genius.bill-palmer

In newsgroup alt.genius.bill-palmer, post
<6br2lt$...@dfw-ixnews11.ix.netcom.com>,wilh...@ix.netcom.com ()
wrote:

That's "strait-jacket", you illiterate clown. And don't say it's a
typo; you don't have a clue about the etymology of the word.
--
            Rubbing the Kook Kabal's noses in their
              own shit is not only fun, it's a duty.
   "All non-hostile reactions are more than welcome and most
    especially yours Mr. Palmer.  I've long admired your style
    and devotion to free speech." - (Speedbump to Palmjob).
       All loon-related email to "poltr...@wilhelp.com"

When said past experiences leave you looking like a total moron, yes.

--
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-M i k e  M a c L e n n a n -=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

mmaclenn[SHIFT+2]ix.netcom.com           defame[SHIFT+2]wilhelp.com

      Want fame?  Say something stupid to reserve your space below.

     Don't bother asking me to "post proof" for my "suspicians";
     THAT is the sort of unreasonable request favored by the
     "Louse-monkeys" and the "Lousy MacLemons" (providing
      they are indeed different crude entities) of the net.

Biil Palmer chiding others for daring to ask him to back up
 his arguments in <65acb7$...@dfw-ixnews9.ix.netcom.com>

[typo-corrected]

No, YOU don't have a CLUE about the etymology of the word.
If you did, you would never be stupid enough to fancy you
know more than the editors of the quite-conservative
AMERICAN HERITAGE DICTIONARY.  After all, if you will
bother to look there or in any other excellent English
dictionary, you will learn for the first time that since
the foremost language authorities cannot agree on which
spelling, "straightjacket" or "straitjacket", is best,
both forms are considered acceptable in standard English.

Now, of course, since you are a pseudonymous nobody, you
won't have to worry about being embarrassed by your
ignorant display, but I am delighted to rub your nose in
it anyway.

Further, two spaces are needed between sentences in a
paragraph, so you need to review the chapter on "spacing"
in your remedial writing text.  Now, we all make spacing
errors on occasion, but since you only drooled TWO trivial
sentences in the first place, that means your spacing
between sentences is ONE-HUNDRED PERCENT WRONG!  

On top of that, while we all begin sentences with "and" now
and then, beginning FIFTY-PERCENT of your sentences with that
particular conjunction reveals your egregious lack of writing
skill.

Most important, it'll take a whole lot more than a typo-pounce
from a pseudonymous wilhelp parasite such as yourself to get a
very sick bastard like this "Archie Leach" off the hook his own
KKK racism and announced sexual perversion of the grossest sort
have got him wriggling on.  After all, that WAS the intention
of your ignorant display, was it not?

Above all, whenever you feel inclined to make a pronouncement
about someone else's usage, be sure to check a good dictionary
first.   Next time you put your foot in your mouth, you might
not be safely cowering behind a fake name.

copyright FLAME GIANT

              On Wordscreens of the World

Excerpts from netnews.alt.genius.bill-palmer: 11-Feb-98 Re: Who Is the
Other Bill P.. by @ix.netcom.com

*Who* requires this, billshit bill palmer the hapless little
dwarf?--your abuse of passive constructions (e.g. "two spaces are
needed") conveniently elides any mention of any authority on this issue.
So, who are you citing?

Fascinating. Billshit bill palmer the depends undergarment wearing dwarf
sinks to a new low: a "spacing" lame. My God. Now *that's* grasping.

  http://english-server.hss.cmu.edu/home/wilkes/

In newsgroup alt.genius.bill-palmer, post
<6brn6r$...@dfw-ixnews12.ix.netcom.com>,wilh...@ix.netcom.com

Nonsense; the only _English_ dictionary (as distinct from 'Merkin),
the O.E.D., says no such thing. Any "debate" is between the voices in
your head, Bill.

Pseudonymous? No more than any other email address.
"poltr...@wilhelp.com" is as valid an email address as
"wilh...@ix.netcom.com". Just click on poltroon and send me some
email. You can even get your own address at wilhelp.com if you ask
nicely; but not "wilh...@wilhelp.com"; that's taken. See if you can
get your browser to connect to <www.wilhelp.com>, and join about 45 of
your "fans" who love to pull your tail to see you jump and whine.

I think your data-set is a little small for such a devastating
analysis, Wee Willie.

Not at all; Archie can do just fine on his own, pointing out your
documented history of racial slurs on Usenet.

I just wanted to have some fun with your latest filet of solecism and
English mangling.

I did, and not some fishwrap 'Merkin dictionary like the A.H.D.

By the way, Willie, you put _three_ spaces between "first." and "Next"
in the above paragraph; 100% error level there, Little Buckaroo.

Now, skitter-off before I toast your little pink backside again,
Palmjob.

--
            Rubbing the Kook Kabal's noses in their
              own shit is not only fun, it's a duty.
   "All non-hostile reactions are more than welcome and most
    especially yours Mr. Palmer.  I've long admired your style
    and devotion to free speech." - (Speedbump to Palmjob).
       All loon-related email to "poltr...@wilhelp.com"

You're simply an absolute liar caught with your pants down!
You proved stupid enough to criticize someone else's
usage based upon your own uninformed prejudices.  Now
you are trying to fib your way our of it.  Fact is,
THE AMERICAN HERITAGE DICTIONARY and THE MERRIAM
WEBSTER DICTIONARY each list both forms as correct.

That means, while YOU might prefer otherwise, you have
no business saying people err in giving the editors of
two outstanding dictionaries more credence than they give
your pompous and uninformed blather.

In other words, dear parasite of mine, you deserve a
dunce cap.  In effect you are claiming to know more than
the editors of two highly respected dictionaries.  There
are many minor instances where THE AMERICAN HERITAGE, THE
MERRIAM WEBSTER, and THE OXFORD disagree on the best
usage.  However, only a dunce makes public pronouncements
that someone is "illiterate" for preferring a spelling
choice sanctioned by two top dictionaries.

Of course you are a pseduonymous nobody.  How do you expect
to blather your way out of that?  And of course you are a
parasite, too, since I created wilhelp and made my creation
famous in these newsgroups long before Human Leech Kendrick
registered it as a domain name.  It is impossible for you to
use wilhelp without becoming an official "Bill Palmer's
parasite".

I had no need to go beyond the document at hand.  After
all, YOU used but one article to proclaim ME "illiterate"--
and your pronouncement proved to be ignorant and incorrect!

Such "slurs" are fabricated by others, just like YOU
fabricated my supposed "spelling error".  But then,
you know that already.

In other words, you went fishing for "solecism and English
mangling", but when you couldn't find hide nor hair of any,
you fabricated!

Despite your own ignorant prejudices, if a spelling is
sanctioned as correct by THE AMERICAN HERITAGE DICTIONARY
(and THE MERRIAM WEBSTER DICTIONARY, as a matter of fact!)
a pseudonymous dunce cap wearer such as yourself has no
business pronouncing other people "illiterate" for
preferring the form in question.  You certainly DID
put your foot in your mouth.

Very dishonest of you!  YOUR spacing between sentences was
one-hundred percent wrong.  *I* made ONE spacing error in an
article of over 300 words with no other mistakes of any sort.
Since that is far higher than the Usenet average, please
allow me to pat myself on my back for my excellence.  Ahhh...
feels so good!

Of course, a pseudonymous dunce WOULD insult everyone
named Palmer and further be brazen enough to insist that
said dunce's exhibition of orthographical ignorance had
somehow "toasted" ME!

copyright FLAME GIANT

                 On Wordscreens of the World        

In newsgroup alt.genius.bill-palmer, post
<6bsu9p$...@dfw-ixnews10.ix.netcom.com>,wilh...@ix.netcom.com (Hairy

Biil, this whineing about your parasites is worrying; if you would
observe some basic hygiene, you could get rid of them.

Remember to wash your hands after defecating, and the pin-worms that
make you keep scratching your ass in public will go. Shave your body
hair and wash with kerosene, and the pubic lice that you got from
Boursy will be returned to sender, so to speak. Above all, brush your
dentures and change the primordial soup in the glass where you store
them overnight. The oral-genital warts from Goober are a bit of a
problem, I admit.

You can do it, I know. You too can be free from the itching torment of
psoriasis so evident in your posts.

But my address, "poltr...@wilhelp.com", is mine, and it stays. Why,
since I started using it, I've had an offer to do a translation of the
Dead Sea Scrolls into Inuit, a request to pose nude for "Biker Babe
Magazine" and a chance to display my "Etch-A-Sketch" works in the
Royal Ontario Museum Permanent Collection. All because of my domain
name "wilhelp.com". Don't forget to include this in the court
documents when Goober sues Usenet on your behalf.

Too bad you didn't think of registering the domain, but 45 of your
fans thank you. We love rattling your cage, for fun _and_ profit.
--
            Rubbing the Kook Kabal's noses in their
              own shit is not only fun, it's a duty.
   "All non-hostile reactions are more than welcome and most
    especially yours Mr. Palmer.  I've long admired your style
    and devotion to free speech." - (Speedbump to Palmjob).
       All loon-related email to "poltr...@wilhelp.com"

Excerpts from netnews.alt.genius.bill-palmer: 11-Feb-98 Re: Who Is the
Other Bill P.. by @ix.netcom.com

Uh-oh. Run for cover, everyone. Billshit bill's in estrus again. He's
imagining his correspondents with their pants down AGAIN, attempting to
involve them in his violent and absurd sexual rituals. Ugh.

Prejudices?--wrong, bilious billshit billy-boy bill palmer the peurile,
you who stimulates your rectal tissues--now nearly completely
desensitized owing to years and years of ruthless abuse--with
brass-bristled scrubbing brushes and rusty cheese-graters. Your
correspondent cited the OED, which as any linguist, philologist will
tell you is the standard.

Your children's editions of your american heritage and your little
merriam webster's are of little use to you here, little one. An instance
of incorrect usage, if used often enough, will generally find its way
into a dictionary. Dictionaries, billshit bill palmer, are descriptive,
not prescriptive.

Yes he does, billshit bill palmer. Why?--because once again you were
wrong--surprise!--and all of your poorly worded and terribly lame
insults cannot reverse that simple fact. You're a loser, loser-boy.

  http://english-server.hss.cmu.edu/home/wilkes/

wilh...@ix.netcom.com () escribió en artículo:

They don't, not really, but I'm bored.

I'll do a Palmjob on a slow day.

Palmjob has suggested that of every poster that has publicly
humiliated him (i.e. all of them.)

Ooh, ya think?  (I know he's not meaning this to be retroactive for
the last two years, but if it weren't for creative inference I would
have killfiled the creepy weasel after reading his first post.)

...having none to give...

With the possible exception of Palmer himself.

Most people have to get down on their knees to slap Bill Palmer.

Oh, horrors!  Do you mean that a Bill Palmer article might have been
cross-posted to a newsgroup that wanted nothing to do with Bill
Palmer?

I Know You Are And So Am I.

*snip* vague meanderings neither interesting or offensive enough to
merit attention of anyone capable of reading for themselves...

Only if you spend your life 24/7 grepping your newsfeed for mention of
your name.

"My little corner of the Dejanews archive" = search "palmjob"

If he could make Bill look normal he'd be making millions for
Industrial Light and Magic.

Translation: "I get beaten up by John and Gilbert, am unable to
respond in any effective way, and am claiming superiority for failing
to do so."

That pretty much goes for anyone with access to a keyboard.  Palmjob
goes for quantity, not quality.

Won't.  Can't.  It's all semantics to Bill...

Translation: "I'm too narrow minded to understand anything that isn't
displayed on 'Leave it to Beaver' reruns, I'm superior to everyone
with experiences other than my own, my running away from every fight
is a victory."

...and no one knows Bill...

...thank god...

Translation: "While I have never gotten the better of anyone in
debate, I will imply that people who have grown bored with spanking me
across Usenet return in other guises, hopefully creating a mythology
in which I am worthy of being the target of persons other than bored
net-junkies."

Yeah, I know what that makes me.  Fuck off.

And still always superior to Bill.  Which still isn't saying much.

Bill's touch can do that.  Most people don't know this, but Bill
Palmer produced Michael Jackson's 1979 "Off the Wall" album.

You're saying you don't read other people's posts.

And others, like Bill "Bill" Palmer, become numb to the constant
spankings they receive, and no longer care about the continual
opprobrium they receive from those around them.

So Bill likes the sheep.  Figures.

As opposed to the racist rants Palmjob has himself posted...

Hey, I've been known to mix the occasional metaphor, but who other
than Bill Palmer could imagine "drool" "spewing" from someone's
"heart?"

You got spanked, Bill?

Yeah, I need to do laundry this week myself.

Or maybe it was Bill Palmer and he forgot.

I had Uma Thurman in mind, myself.

And Bill went missing for the month of September... hmmm...

That's like charging someone with peeing in a cess pool.

I will sell you a clue for ten dollars.

..."with whom I have equated him"...

As opposed to Bill himself, who is a vegetable.

Truer words ne'er said...

aka Palmjob.  Q: Who is the
A: Dave Kendrick!  (I win a cookie.)
Want another oxymoron?  Microsoft works.

--
coochie coo          alt.alien.vampire.flonk.flonk.flonk
ben capoeman  mhm 15x1  wsd10  balloo at wilhelp dot com
jelliebun's dainty ursine of delight                meow
http://www.blarg.net/~balloo/flonk/palmjob.html     meow

Excerpts from netnews.alt.genius.bill-palmer: 11-Feb-98 Re: Who Is the
Other Bill P.. by @ix.netcom.com

Billshit bill palmer "previously suggested," but no one listened.

And though now billshit bill palmer the puerile is "given pause to
wonder" ("given pause to ... " ugh!--this subliterate rube just CANNOT
write to save his utterly useless and completely wasted life!), still,
no one listens, no one cares. In sum: billshit bill palmer dialogues
with himself, just like the unwashed madmen one sometimes encounters in
public parks or subway stations, talking, giggling, gibbering and
sometimes even shouting at themselves in non-sensical strings of
incoherent babbling, which no one listens to, and which no one cares
about. Our billshit bill palmer aspires to be one of these. As yet he
lacks the social skills.

Yes. Billshit bill palmer the lame hates to give his opponents credit
because they always take it for themselves, even as he shrieks and howls
in protest, helplessly flailing all his many limbs, urinating and
defecating involuntarily, convulsing in a blind panic as one by one they
spank and spank him, chasing him from one newsgroup to another. The
defenseless rube we all know as billshit bill palmer the penile simply
lacks the cognitive sophistication necessary to mount any sort of
defense, so he just goes belly-up, or, more likely, runs away screaming
like a girl.

And now of course billshit bill palmer describes himself, or how the
bloated capon of a boy would *like* to behave had not his lab-coated
handlers long ago relieved him of his pesky little testicles with a pair
of pruning-snips. Oh but you should have heard the little stump of a boy
shriek and howl. Well, they had to do SOMETHING!--little billshit bill
spent every waking moment ruthlessly abusing his tiny, ill-formed
genitals, an outrage to the other patients and a constant source of
embarrassment to the staff. So, one evening they gelded the bloated
little stump of a boy. And for a time it seemed to work. Now he would
consume his nervous energy on usenet, using usenet as if it were his
chamberpot, but at least he left his tiny little nub of a penis alone,
what little of it still existed.

But then billshit bill palmer discovered his rectum, and his pineapple
sized prostate. Ugh. The cycle begins anew.  

  http://english-server.hss.cmu.edu/home/wilkes/

I still have some questions that need answering, and I am not going to go away
without the responses I deserve.

Why is the other Bill Palmer ignoring my emails?   I have emailed him at least
two dozen times now and I've heard nothing back.

How does the other Bill Palmer know that this newsgroup was named for him in
the first place?  Will he post proof of that for me?
How do we know this newgroup was not named for Bill Palmer,  the famous
magician?

Why does the other Bill Palmer seem evasive about his origins?  I can trace him
back to the old soc.culture.soviet newsgroup, but the trail stops there.  Did
he originate in that newsgroup, or are we talking about two other Bill Palmers
here?

I would also like to know why that mentally disturbed person- Leech attacked me
the last time I posted in alt.genius.bill-palmer.  I
thought the  other Bill Palmer said _everyone_  was welcome, not just one
little Bill Palmer.

Why did other Bill Palmer say there was something suspicious about my ending,
"Balloons, Party Favors"?    What could be more _harmless_  than balloons and
party favors, I would like to know?  

Ballons and party favors are a magical state of mind.   Would the other Bill
Palmer be more happy if I put "Drugs and Guns" in my closing?

Can  _somebody_  please tell me what is going on here?

Bill Palmer

                       !!!!ALWAYS TRUST A MAGICIAN!!!!
                                     Balloons, Party Favors

: >Subject: Re: Who Is the Other Bill Palmer?
: >From: Gilbert Vanburen Wilkes <g...@andrew.cmu.edu>
: >Date: Thu, Feb 12, 1998 10:50 EST
: >Message-id: <AosldBC00iWl04c...@andrew.cmu.edu>
: ><...>

: I still have some questions that need answering, and I am not going to go away
: without the responses I deserve.

Very well, but be advised the regular posters here will be the judge of
the kind of responses you deserve.

: Why is the other Bill Palmer ignoring my emails?   I have emailed him at least
: two dozen times now and I've heard nothing back.

Shit, the brainless twit can barely post to use net.  I took him over a
yera to learn not to screw up the reference line and he still doesn't
understan the complex workings of the atribution marks.  I bet he doesn't
have a clue how to look in his mail box if indeed he knows he has one.

: How does the other Bill Palmer know that this newsgroup was named for him in
: the first place?  Will he post proof of that for me?
: How do we know this newgroup was not named for Bill Palmer,  the famous
: magician?

As far as Palmjob is concerned, there is no other Bill Palmer.  You
better watck it or he is going to start accusing you of stealing his name.

: Why does the other Bill Palmer seem evasive about his origins?  I can trace him
: back to the old soc.culture.soviet newsgroup, but the trail stops there.  Did
: he originate in that newsgroup, or are we talking about two other Bill Palmers
: here?

As far as we can figure out he is an escapee from the county home for the
criminally stupid.  Of course, he may just be the failed experiment of a
rogue biologist who was trying to create an useful line of monkeys to be
helpers for the handicamped.  Unfortunitly it turned out to be a nasty
little beast that is able to break out of it's cage and post to usenet.  
When they finally catch on to him the decision to put him down will be
finalized.

: I would also like to know why that mentally disturbed person- Leech attacked me
: the last time I posted in alt.genius.bill-palmer.  I
: thought the  other Bill Palmer said _everyone_  was welcome, not just one
: little Bill Palmer.

This is an alcove of alt.flame you know; attack people is the "sport" we
practice here.  Palmjob lies.  That one little Bill Palmer has pretty
much sullied the reputations of Bill Palmers everywhere.

: Why did other Bill Palmer say there was something suspicious about my ending,
: "Balloons, Party Favors"?    

Everything frightens Palmjob.  It comes from being a village idiot.  He's
always being jabed with pointy sticks so he thinks everything is a pionty
stick.

: What could be more _harmless_  than balloons and
: party favors, I would like to know?  

Well, a wilyelp lame comes to mind.

: Ballons and party favors are a magical state of mind.   Would the other Bill
: Palmer be more happy if I put "Drugs and Guns" in my closing?

He would be more happy if that nice person that lives on the other side
of his mirror would post followups to his incoherent drool.

: Can  _somebody_  please tell me what is going on here?

I just did.  I HTH.

--
              A_A    
John Davis   (o o)    Marcus Tullius Cicero (106-43 BC) observed:
----------oOO-(^)-OOo----------------------------------------------------
               ~  Democritus maintains that there can be no great poet
                  without a spite of madness.

None of this makes any sense.   On two separate occasions I have asked some
questions about Bill Palmer, and both times all I have gotten back was a
lunatic tirade from somebody.

I thought this was supposed to be a humor newsgroup.   The replies I have
received from that Davis and Leach-persom make it sound to me like a rant and
rave group!    What has made these so angry it is almost like they are foaming
at the mouthpeople who are saying nothing at all?

Anway, I am not going anyplace.   I am going to continue to challenge the other
Bill Palmer with my questions until I get a straight anwer, and I'll add some
new ones:

What terrible thing has the other Bill Palmer done to get so many
people ranting and raving about him?    Further, why is it that these ranters
and ravers don't make any sense, so no can understand what they are so furious
about?

How many Bill Palmers are there on the net?

Did other Bill Palmer originate in soc.culture.soviet, because that is as far
back as I can track him in Dejanews?   Did he start inside or outside the net?
Is he a string of computers like the magazine said, or is he a real person?  
If he is a string of computers, why did the Russian and American scientists put
my name on entity?

Was there _really_ a bet between some young Russian and American millionaires
to see if they could create the most
popular 1977 newsgroup based on computer entity?   Who
are they?

Why won' tthe other  Bill Palmer answer his email?  I have emailed him two
dozen times now.   Does he filter out everyone named Bill Palmer?

Why does the other Bill Palmer say that my "balloons and party favors" ending
is suspicious?   What could be more innocent that
balloons and party favors, I would like to know?

How does the other Bill Palmer know that this newsgroup was named in his honor?
  Did he just waltz in and take it over?   After all, I read in the magazine
where he denied that he started a.g.b-p.  Maybe alt.genius.boy-palmer was named
for Bill Palmer the famous magician.   Maybe he's just trying to get my glory
for himself.   I want Bill Palmer to answer my questions.

Bill Palmer

                     !!!ALWAYS TRUST A MAGICIAN!!!
                          Balloons, Party Favors