Well....coming from someone who married that young....I wouldn't have done
it if I had the opportunity to do it all over again. I do wish you luck. I
made it 18 years before it fell apart. Maybe you two will be of the
minority who beats the odds.
Anyway...I would have told them up front. I told mine up front and they
weren't happy but at least I didn't have the added stress of "hiding" the
marriage on top of the natural stress of being newlyweds. Everyone who's
been there knows just how rough the first few years can be!
Another way of handling it, if you are totally against telling them and the
20 year thing happens....is to just re-affirm your vows at that time.
That's what we had planned to do...unfortunately, we didn't make it to our
20th.
I don't mean to offend but if you two are grown up enough to marry, then I
would think that you two are grown up enough to stand up to her parents.
What will happen when she gets pregnant?
As far as the car....chalk it up to a lesson bought and paid for. Get over
it. It's in their name and there's nothing you can do about it. If you can
get the parent's to sign it over...then it would be different.
Now, maybe...if she has all of her bank records for all of the car
payments.....then maybe you can fight legally from that stand point.
Just my thoughts on the subject....
KYWomn1963
"John" <te_mat
...@yahoo.com> wrote in message
...
> My long time girlfriend an I were married last Sunday (Yipee!) but a
> bit of a problem has arisen. Her parents have some irrational problem
> with our marriage (they seem perfectly content for use to live
> together and are otherwise amiable towards us, go figure) and when my
> wife (god I like saying that) hinted about the possibility of us
> getting married they became irate. They threatened to take away her
> car and her horse and make her life difficult in any way they could if
> she went through with it. They don't realize we are already married
> and they have refused to speak with me on the matter. I don't really
> understand what the source of the problem is as they aren't religious
> and they aren't losing any tax benefits (my wife has been legally
> divorced from her parents for a couple of years now, they are a little
> crazy as evidenced by their current behavior).
> We knew it would be a struggle and would like to introduce the matter
> to them gradually but they intend to go to the county clerks office
> and try to get info on the existence of our marriage. We were living
> together before the marriage and decided to get a Confidential
> Marriage License just to be discrete. It's my understanding that
> because of the Confidential Marriage License nobody can get access to
> our marriage record but will they be able to see that one exists? And
> how secure are those documents really, I mean will they give it out
> even if they aren't technically supposed to? If there is a good
> chance they will find out we would like to handle it ourselves before
> then (it's currently Saturday and the office doesn't open until
> Monday). We were hoping someone here could share their experience or
> insight into the matter.
> Thank you in advance for any assistance.
> Oh, and one more question. We fully intend to reveal our marriage to
> her parents but if they prove stubbornly and irrationally opposed it
> is not unfathomable that we will never reveal it to them. Everyone
> who knows we are married is quite discrete and understands our
> situation so I believe we could spend the rest of our lives together
> without them ever finding out. Now, I care very much for my new wife
> and she for me and we full intend to spend the rest of our lives
> together but we are both rational cautious people and are well aware
> of America's divorce statistics. If we should ever get divorced will
> that divorce be part of the public record and if so would there be a
> way to keep that private as well. As if her parents found out we were
> divorced it would obviously signify that we were once married. Of
> course by the time that could ever happen she probably wouldn't be so
> worried about the car and horse.
> Thanks again for any help you can provide.
