OT - When insults had class
Walter Mitty II
These glorious insults are from an era before the English language got
boiled down to 4-letter words.
The exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor: She said,
"If you were my husband I'd give you poison."
He said,
"If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
Churchill to Lady Astor - " God Madam you're ugly "
Lady Astor " Sir, you are drunk "
Churchill " Yes Madam, but I shall be sober in the morning "
A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable
disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies
or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire." -
Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with
great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to
the dictionary." - William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway).
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book; I'll waste no time
reading it." - Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I
approved of it." - Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.." -
Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring
a friend.... if you have one." - George Bernard Shaw to Winston
Churchill.
"Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second... if there is
one." - Winston Churchill, in response.
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
-Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator." - John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing
trivial." - Irvin S.Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
- Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up." - Paul Keating
"In order to avoid being called a flirt, she always yielded easily."
- Charles, Count Talleyrand
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him." - Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without any address on
it?" - Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork." - Mae
West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go." -
Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp-posts... for support
rather than illumination." - Andrew Lang (1844-1912
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it." -
GrouchoMarx
Walt
* * *
email: waltK...@live.com
(Replace "K5J4H3K" with "mitty")
John Ward
ROTFL - corker, mate! :-))
I can't wait for a chance to try a few of those out! :-))
Regards,
John Ward
"Walter Mitty II" <email....@end.of.msg> wrote in message
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Canuck
Sad to say you are correct that vulgarity seems to have won the day.
"Walter Mitty II" <email....@end.of.msg> wrote in message
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The Old Bloke
Yep, enjoyed those. Some are classics!
Doug
Nick O'Tyme at
English!
From the glory days of these insults, it was down before the English
four-letter words boiled.
Exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She was going to give my husband if I was your poison, "" he said.
If you're my wife, I take it he was going, "" he said.
The Chachirurediasuta - "the madam of God" that is ugly
Lady Astor, "Lord, you are" drunk
Churchill, "The Yes Madam, I am in the morning" must be sober
Disraeli to lawmakers:
"Lord, your one of the gallows, dying from disease or some unspeakable," he
said.
"This is Sir dependent," Disraeli, "whether or not I accept your policies
and mistress," he said.
"He had delusions of adequacy." - Uorutaka
"He impressed me and I do not like any of the evil, and all the virtues." -
Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many an obituary with great
joy." - Kurarensudaro
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the
dictionary." - Uiriamufokuna (For Anesutoheminguuei).
"Thank you for sending a copy of my book. I waste time reading," he said. -
Mozehadasu
"I did not attend the funeral, I sent my letter I approve it." - Mark Twain
"He is intensely disliked by his friends to the enemy ..." - Oscar Wilde
"I'm the first one a new game last night around two tickets; .... If you
bring a friend." - Winston Churchill's Jojibanadosho you.
"Potentially one of the first night to attend the first two ... If you have
not to attend." - Winston Churchill, the response.
"I feel miserable without you, it's almost like being here." - Stephen
Bishop
"He will worship man and his creative self." - Jonburaito
"I learned of his illness. Let's hope that is not trivial there." - Irvin
Cobb s of
The only dull himself "at him. He is the cause of dullness in others." -
Samuel Johnson
"He is looking for a spine to run just shaking." - Paul Keating
"In order to avoid cheating and called, she always brought to the simple." -
Number Sharurutareran
"He is in spite of what his love of nature." - Foresutotakka
"I sit down to look like an envelope without any address on it why?" - Mark
Twain
"And must have been abandoned by his mother, continued stork." - Meiuesuto
"Some cause happiness and some from anywhere, at any time to go." - Oscar
Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man, the posts ... for support rather than
use the lamp lighting." - Andoryurangu (1844-1912
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music." - Biriwairuda
"I was a perfectly wonderful evening. However, this is not so." -
Guruchomarukusu
Tom Duhamel
> And here is the same, translated from English to Japanese and back to
> English!
I am not sure where you wanted to go with that, but here are the same
sentences, translated to Japanese but NOT translated back to English:
?????????????????????????????????????????????????
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?????????????????????????????????????????????????
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?????????????????????????????????????????????????
???????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????????????????
????????????????????????????????
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Tom :)
RandyL AT DOT
are certainly coming to a middle."
Malcom Reynolds, Captain of Serenity
"Walter Mitty II" <email....@end.of.msg> wrote in message
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Nick O'Tyme at
"Tom Duhamel" <tom420....@gmail.com> wrote in message
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We have a TV show over here that translated song lyrics to Japanese and back
and then had people sing them.
They were rather odd to say the least.
cheers
TOCA
"Nick O'Tyme" <mellorc(at)msn.com> skrev i meddelelsen
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>
> "Tom Duhamel" <tom420....@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:hed7j1$4dn$1...@news.eternal-september.org...
>> Nick O'Tyme wrote:
>>> And here is the same, translated from English to Japanese and back to
>>> English!
>>
>
> We have a TV show over here that translated song lyrics to Japanese and
> back and then had people sing them.
>
> They were rather odd to say the least.
>
> cheers
We had a huge political scandal here, a few months ago, because someone used
Google translate to translate a book into Arabic, claiming the translation
was found on the Internet :o/
Our chief of defence had to resign, true storry :o/
Tommy C, Denmark
Tom Duhamel
>
> "Tom Duhamel" <tom420....@gmail.com> wrote in message
> news:hed7j1$4dn$1...@news.eternal-september.org...
>> Nick O'Tyme wrote:
>>> And here is the same, translated from English to Japanese and back to
>>> English!
>>
>> I am not sure where you wanted to go with that, but here are the same
>> sentences, translated to Japanese but NOT translated back to English:
>
> back and then had people sing them.
>
> They were rather odd to say the least.
>
> cheers
Oh I see!
Well anything translated through software could sound weird. As a native
French speaker, I can tell you a lot about that. Instructions included
with furniture (the kind that requires assembly) are most often
translated by a machine (either that, or it's translated from Chinese to
French by a Korean who happened to have learned a little Spanish when he
was young). Following those instructions, it's actually possible to
assemble a BBQ just like Homer Simpson would. On popular TV shows, they
often collect some bad translations which they read out loud, and
believe me you could roll on the floor in tears more than once.
I remember once they read out some instructions included with a first
aid package. I believe you could kill most of your friends and relative
following those instructions. I remember how they explained how to
inject adrenaline directly into the heart, which is located in the
middle, between elbow and groin. It makes you wonder what species the
instructions were written for.
Tom :)
Sheldon England
>
> Well anything translated through software could sound weird. As a native
> French speaker, I can tell you a lot about that.
Have you seen this site? Here is a link to the video game "epilepsy
warning" translated into Chinese and then part of the way back into English.
http://www.engrish.com//wp-content/uploads/2009/07/crazy.jpg
Ah ... language. :)
- Sheldon
TOCA
"Tom Duhamel" <tom420....@gmail.com> skrev i meddelelsen
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Can be quite a laugh, reading those manuals, unless you need to understand
them, to operate your car or video recorder :o)
It's hard to believe they haven't got it any closer to right by now, my
English teacher back in high school was talking about how hard it was for
computers to understand language, using a true example, where "Out of sight,
out of mind" was translated in to Russian and back to English, ressulting in
"Invisible fool", that was 1981, and we are still no closer, or at least
Google is no closer :o/
Tommy C, Denmark
PerryFeral
<email....@end.of.msg> wrote:
>When Insults Had Class
Jean Harlow and Noel Coward disliked each other and she used to rile
him by mispronouncing his first name as no-EL. One day at a function
when she did it again he said: "Miss Harlow, the e in Noel is as
silent as the t in Harlow."
John Ward
ROTFL - I bet she didn't take that one lying down, mate! :-))
Regards,
John Ward
"PerryFeral" <perf...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
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Tom Duhamel
If I understand correctly, I should not go into action if I'm
superficially crazy or above crazy. Well, my question is, is it ok for
me if I'm wearing a condom while going into action above a crazy person?
Ok this is exactly the kind of translation I love. I suppose it's a
warning for epileptic people, because I've read such warning before, but
really if I was crazy... hum, epileptic, I would probably lose
consciousness while operating this TV game, because there is no way to
understand anything. At least you are warned before hand by this
warning: "Relevant crazy warning" lol
Tom :)
Nick O'Tyme at
Don't forget to place the tin-foil hat on your head!