What would your innate color be?
Harlequin's Sex Toy
leaves my body most often.
--
/ / / / / / / / / / / /
.. /-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/..............................................
--/ F U N K I D E L I C /-----------------------------------------------
/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/-/ ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ Harlequin's Sex Toy ^_^ ^_^ ^_^
-\ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \ \/-------------------------------------------------
Peter Yao
Harlequin's Sex Toy <clown...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:39A83E...@hotmail.com...
> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
> leaves my body most often.
In that case, mine would be white with some red in it.
Disillusion
....you should go to a doctor for that...
Disillusion
--
AIM name: Mr DiSiLLuSiOn
8/15/00's "Genuine Smart Guy" award given by Cliezon
8/17/00's "Post of the Day" award given by Linda
.sig at
http://members.aol.com/vincent7z/sig.txt
To reply, chop off my ears
Peter Yao
Disillusion <vinc...@aol.commyears> wrote in message
news:20000826185027...@ng-fs1.aol.com...
> Peter Yao wrote:
> >Harlequin's Sex Toy <clown...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
> >news:39A83E...@hotmail.com...
> >> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem
to
> >> leaves my body most often.
> >
> >In that case, mine would be white with some red in it.
>
> ....you should go to a doctor for that...
I did. He just gave me the finger.
No gloves.
Eyeglazer
>Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
>leaves my body most often.
Black. And my secondary color would be green.
--
-------------------
"There is no greater tragedy than a person who does not care."
- Rubi.
-------------------
Eyeglazer, Lord of Boredom.
The Evil One.
Member of the Princes of Agff.
Man of the Eleventh Hour.
Guardian of Twilight.
Wielder of the Euphoria Blade.
Wielder of the Gray Saber.
Wielder of the Rusty Meathook.
Wielder of the Rusty Lawnmower Blade.
Wielder of the Industrial Chainsaw.
Wielder of the Infinite Napalm.
Defender of Aeris Gainsborough.
Defender of my own name.
Anti-Defender of Compaq.
Owner of 25 Shiny points.
Owner of 10 Philosophy points.
Owner of 10 Weirdicity points.
Owner of 1 Celine Stuffy.
Owner of 1 Golden Spangly.
Owner of 1 Sledgehammer.
Owner of a semi-illegit Boredom Award, awarded by Linda.
Co-owner of a 100 reply email cascade.
Sole Author of 2 (two) Agff Fanfics.
Co-Author of 2 (two) round-robin Agff Fanfics.
Delivered 2 (two) newbies to Agff.
Unwarrentied and nonrefundable.
GFox Medal for putting something off even longer than Greg would.
X's Award for Understatement of the Year.
Holder of Agff's Largest Sig.
Inventor of the Incendiary Buttplug.
Inventor of Dehydrated Evil: Just Add Water.
Giver of the rare Boredom Points.
Self-Declared Grand Lord of Starcraft.
Unofficial Biggest Fool of April Fool's.
Doom of the Revivalists.
****************************************
* *
* Two Thousand (2000) Posts and *
* 1 OPotD to alt.games.final-fantasy. *
* *
****************************************
95.4% pure.
Contact Info:
eyeg...@indestruction.com (temporarily unreliable)
vel...@netzero.net
Aim: Eyeglazer
ICQ: 13225676
Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson went on a camping trip.
After a good meal and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the
night and went to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his
faithful friend.
"Watson, look up and tell me what you see."
Watson replied, "I see millions and millions of stars."
"What does that tell you?"
Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me
that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions
of planets. Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo.
Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a
quarter past three. Theologically, I can see that God is all
powerful and that we are small and insignificant.
Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a
beautiful day tomorrow. Why, what does it tell YOU?"
Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke.
"Watson, you idiot. Some jerk has stolen our tent."
--------------------
Prize Roster
--------------------
Save up the rare Boredom Points to buy the following prizes:
3 Boredom Points:
1 minor Boredom-infused weapon, or
1 copy of the Boredom Dictionary, or
1 copy of the Gray Book.
7 Boredom Points:
1 Sword of Boredom, or
1 Ennui Stone, or
Cameo appearance in an Eyeglazer fic.
10 Boredom Points:
Timo's Head on a pike.
12 Boredom Points:
1 lemon written on topic of your choice.
20 Boredom Points:
Major appearance in an Eyeglazer fic.
(limited availability)
30 Boredom Points:
Honorary Acolyte of Boredom status.
--------------------
The Elements:
--------------------
Eyeglazer: Earth
Adam Merrifield: Water
Astos: Fire/Air
Atma: Fire
Avenger: Air
A. Weirdo: Air/Earth
Black Mountain: Air
Bob: Water
Brainfreeze: Water
CabbitXtreme: Earth
Cassie: Air
Cliezon: Fire
Cypher: Air
Dana: Fire
Dave: Earth
Greg: Air
Justin Sueno: Water
Kain Highwind: Air
Leareth: Water
Linda: Water
Moony: Air
Nightshade: Earth
Pigwalk: Fire
Ramen Junkie: Fire
Rubi: Water
Shirlene: Water
Slipgate: Water
Small Girl: Water
Technetium: Water
Tharkun: Earth
Thierry: Water
Wyvern: Air
X: Air
Zohar: Water
--------------------
The Strange:
--------------------
"How come no one's killed me yet?"
- Darkmere
"It's your fault for chatting here. Not ours for cursing, bitching,
and being obscene."
- X
"This serial cable sucks. It's like pumping a swimming pool through
a drinking straw."
- Dave G.
"So? She's just a slu-- Er, I mean, DAMN HIM HE MUST DIE!"
- Atma, upon being informed by me of the defilement of Aeris.
"Not that I'm advocating sending nasty E-mail to your teachers or
anything..."
- CronoDAS
"I've wanted to tell them the truth. "I'm being stalked by an
immensely evil organization of annihilistic psychics hell bent on
killing me and destroying humanity, Dr. Frezza." But usually I just
say I slept in, yeah."
- CX.
"Now, please proceed to the nearest gas station and light a
match. If a gas station is not available in your area (Outer Mongolia,
I think...), please unplug your computer and shove a fork in the
socket. Thank you, have a nice day."
- Night Angel, to a troll.
"Greg and N.S. both sent me an AIM log to prove how much of a bastard
the other one was. It was the same AIM log."
- Ford. I don't usually put stuff like this up, but it was
just too damn funny to resist. :)
"I don't give a crap about what shit has to say. Just sit
there and smell bad. Don't presume to be sentient."
- Technetium, to an AGGTAer.
The only flame that will ever go in my sig.
"The old testament was entertaining, but I was rooting for the wrong
team the whole time, I think."
- Dave G., on the Bible
"My little brother got confirmed last week (he took the 'adult' confirmation
class that lasted all of 4 sessions), and afterwards, all my relatives were
like, 'why aren't you confirmed yet?'... too bad I couldn't say, 'well, mainly
because I don't want to be a giant flaming hypocrite like you, but also because
being Catholic would suck'... :P"
- Rei.
"Question: How do you know you're addicted to a game?
Answer: As you drift off to sleep you realize you forgot to make a
ship nuke a planet and you rush back online to fix it."
- Mike.
"You must be the new Phoenix I've heard of. Meet the old one."
- Phoenix.
"Do not call your diety a dumbass!"
- Marcus Yu
"Damn, the fact I know this shit kinda scares me."
- Atma
"I hate ex-AOL'ers. They expect everything to be JUST like AOL, and
either threaten to sue or want to change providers when they find
out otherwise.
I just got a call today from a woman who didn't know what a modem was,
or that you needed it to go online. When I informed her nicely of
this, she angrily said that she'd be happy to switch to an ISP that
didn't require the use of a 'modem.'"
- Aeaen
"Listen, I just do secretary work! If you've got dirty balls, you wash them!"
- Aylee, "Sluggy Freelance."
"Rudolph the red-nosed nazi! Had a very shiny rifle!"
- Atma.
"Umm, you can't pull nothing out of nothing. You have no bag, you have
no ass. They were incinerated."
- A friend named Marlene, when another friend tried to pull a
bag out of his ass.
"Is it just me or does ff7 have all the makings of one superb porno?"
- Mike.
"I need my intelligence sleep. (I figure no amount of beauty sleep will
ever help me, but I can at least get smarter :)"
- Ditto.
"Verbal violence is my best friend."
- Atma.
"If I were president, I'd have the big red button mounted on
my desk and hooked to a random number generator set up to
process launch codes for the nukes. I'd just sit there
pressing it when I get bored... click click click click click
click click click."
- Smidge
"I'm thinking a more refined biological weapon. The goo on my
toothbrush doesn't count."
- CX
"To sleep or not to sleep, that is the question...whether
'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows
of outrageous sleep deprivation, or to take arms against
a sea of drowsiness, and by sleeping, end them...."
- Cilamene
"Why would any woman in her right mind want a fish up her wazoo?!?"
- King Kung
"The fewer sick bastards there are, the better for we who feel sick
around sick bastards."
- St. Kain
"DAMNIT! I got the sticky stuff on my keyboard again."
- Greg Cook. Who else? O_o
"Um...weeks of defiling my name, and everything I stand for... or 1
(one) defilement of the Armadillo."
- Unright, when I asked what it would take to offend him.
"Know that you are not dying because you are an insect and
therefore inferior. You are dying because you interrupted my
sleep."
- Steve
"I'd appreciate it if you managed to spell 'resurrection' and
'resuscitate' correctly. My younger brother just peered over
my shoulder and is yelling out to my mother some incoherent
babble about me watching "Aerith erections" on the net. This
is not funny."
-Darryll Lim, to a revialist.
"Lobby? I'm forced to wait in the lobby? No, sir. I must
profess my love for you NOW NOW NOW!"
- Slipgate to me on Aim. Disturbing, no?
"You know that you're in a fucked-up newsgroup when there's
a discussion about the flavor of female genitalia, and the
first thing that makes you think "uh, how would he know
that?" is the thing that he compares the flavor to."
- Crisis.
"AIIIEIEEEE!!! YOU HAVE NO HEAD!!!"
- Unright, proving that even *he* has GFS.
"Oxford University. Founded in 1167, with technology to match."
- St. Kain.
"Alright, smartypants, don't make me sodomize you...."
- Spoony.
"Please don't sodomize the cabbit."
- CX.
"I was eating one of those PepperRidge Farm cookies, and I noticed that
the bag the cookies come in has a large picture of the cookie on it.
In little tiny letters next to it, it says, 'enlarged to show texture.'
I couldn't help but conclude that this should have been written on
Tifa's breasts."
- Cunnilingus Breath
"If I meet the guy who's ideal woman is 400 pounds, seventy years old,
and pisses in his mouth while tied up and fucking a horse, and is his
sister, I will take great pleasure in hitting him in the head with a
baseball bat."
- Dave G.
"The cows are not what they seem..."
- Leareth
"Operator? I'd like to speak to the bluff of one Mr. Vant, please."
- St. Kain, calling my bluff...when I wasn't bluffing. <evil laugh>
".......Damnit, you just tricked me, didn't you?"
- Kathy
"And once again I get sigged after you trick me."
- Kathy again, moments later. <evil grin>
"This is what they call a mission critical thing. Your ISP is not
good for mission critical operations."
- Dave G.
"Discolored zits on your ass are not sources of evil."
- Atma.
"Consider yourself honored, my friend. You are the first person I have
ever killfiled after only one post."
- Sean, to a troll.
"It's rather like getting a rectal exam with a claw hammer...."
- Dave G., on Linux installations.
"You had to ask me to come up with a shape for a statue made of
COW POOP?!?!"
- Craxton.
"Well, at least this has gotten my mind off the dull ache in my
balls."
- Greg Cook.
"I can't be mad at my mom anymore! And she commited the
ultimately Evil crime of disturbing orgasm! I'm too happy! O_o"
- Kathy.
"Be quiet before I drone you."
- Shoot_Me, after building a 200 drone army in SC.
"I learned something today. No matter how many penguins occupy
the same area, their urine is not enough in quantity to make
all the snow yellow."
- Pigwalk
"What have you done to my rabid, man eating security armadillo?"
- Edwyn
"The Brillo pad is your friend."
- Edwyn again.
"Who needs a bed? Tifa's breasts are big enough to seat at LEAST 7
billion."
- Atma
"I dare someone to use the pickup line 'May I have the distinct
pleasure of urinating down your cleavage?' I guarantee you'll
get a reaction with that line."
- Thierry Nguyen
"May I have the distinct pleasure of urinating between your
buttcheeks?"
- Jonny, moments later.
"Over the centuries, mankind has tried many ways of combating the forces
of evil...prayer, fasting, good works and so on. Up until Doom, no one
seemed to have thought about the double-barrel shotgun. Eat leaden
death, demon..."
-Terry Pratchett
"I'm not in a fight with Josh, I just wish he would die."
- Small Girl.
"It's so small...I can't even find it!"
- Dilbert
"Disk error in drive A: [A]bort, [R]etry, [I]nfluence with large hammer?"
- Grudal
"Geez, just a little demonic summoning and the entire conversation
goes down the toilet...."
- Sean Dougherty
"Additionally, when a gun is fired, it leaves a residue which can be
traced back to whomever fired it, so if you kill someone, wash your
hands. (Note: Don't shoot people.)"
- Dave G.
"I feel good now. I've done my good deed for the decade."
- Atma
"But considering that I can't stand hypocrisy, being a hypocrite
myself makes me doubly hypocritical. :P"
- St. Kain.
"I could open shipping crates with this erection."
- Tycho Brahe.
"Can I have my dick back, Atma?"
- Funkidelic
"The police have informed me that 98% of all traffic accidents are
caused by you 6 guys."
- Moe, "The Simpsons."
"Noooo!! You ain't digging holes through meeee!!!!!"
- X, taking the term 'bore' dreadfully out of context.
"Blizzard!? I'll tell you about a danged blizzard! Back in Nam! Nam, I
tells ya! Now there was a blizzard! Yeah! Them Germans were a tough bunch,
but I showed them who was the queen of the sugar plum fairies! Ha ha ha
*hack* *cough*"
-Edwyn, after Amy remarked that she didn't remeber any Blizzard in 1993.
"Being female means...asking if you're fat and not accepting either answer."
- Cilamene (female, I might add, before anyone crucifies me. ;)
"My parents asked my college-age cousin if he was going to pay for a
vacation for his parents after graduating and getting a good job. His
respose: 'Yeah, to Kosovo.'"
- Cil again. :)
"Aackk! Help me! I'm home alone and the toilet's making weird noises!!"
- *and* again...
"...okay then. Just don't scare her away. <wants a piece> Gahh! Bad brain,
bad brain. <wants to have a respectful platonic relationship> .... just
shut up, Dave...just shut up."
- Dave G.
"ATTENTION, PASSENGERS. THIS IS YOUR CAPTAIN WINKY SPEAKING. THE PENIS IS
NOW LOCKED IN AN UPRIGHT POSITION. THANK YOU."
- X
"I dunno about you, but I like my girls in a resolution slightly higher
than 40 X 32."
- Ditto
"Mmmm? Yoda want some nookie with wookie? Yes yes."
- Greg
"There's a post about it somewhere, but I forget what it's called. In the
end it was discovered that AGFF is really little Tommy Rogers of Rosevelt,
Kansas, whose father owns a textile factory. He enjoys pudding."
- Wyvern, on the multiple personality that is Agff.
"Sarcasm overload, switching to backup boosters...."
- Atma
"Fortunately, their inspection has come and gone. Now I can turn my room
back into a conflagration waiting to happen, a pyromaniac's dream come true,
a room that does the arsonist's job for him, a room where you'd better
watch your temper because if it flares up so will the room.... a room that,
at any second, could suddenly turn into an offshoot of the seventh circle
of HELL.... or, in a pinch, Slough, which is the next best thing."
- St. Kain. (Slough is a very unpleasant town in England)
"Awright! Well, I want that written on my tombstone! Sod any mathematical
achievements I may accomplish in my life, or any progeny I may leave behind,
when I die, I want my tombstone to read "Here lies Kain Aron Highwind,
who pushed Eyeglazer's .sig over 1000 lines" - THERE's a place in the
history books for me!"
- St. Kain again. :)
"Actually, that might be a good ide----I didn't say that *whistles
innocently* Let's move swiftly on...."
- Kim Wild, in e-mail.
"I try to whack off once a day. Keeps me from getting bitchy."
- Dave G.
"Now you are the only human left on the face of the planet. Cannibal
mutations, carnivorous aliens, and evil spirits are your only
neighbors."
- Doom II.
"One of them had an Amaco gas pump between his legs and was
pretending it was his penis. That is the truth."
- Jake, "The Waste Lands."
"Openly lesbian couple? No, no. I love Edwyn, too, but that doesn't mean
I'm into bestiality."
- Merry Widow
"The main reason people hate the DMV is because they're the worst
photographers on the face of the Earth."
- Kathy.
"And now I've inadvertantly contributed to the problem I finally
allowed myself to bitch about! ARHGHGHGIREOHGerhge!"
- Greg, after complaining about my sig and being added to it.
"Hey, at least I can actually get some action from my FF8 CD if I
want it."
- Ford
"Linda, don't worry, I have complete confidence in my cock."
- Marcus Yu
"I GRIND THE ANAL CAVITY OF MY BITCHES TO HAMBURGER WITH MY IVORY
SPIKED PHALLUS, OFFICIALLY RECOGNIZED AS A HOLY RELIC BY THE
VATICAN CHURCH."
- Jiro
"Forgive me if I don't know how best to react to this
without seeming either pryish or an inconsiderate ass :)"
- Slipgate
"No sex in AGFF is a very good thing. If AGFFers learned to reproduce,
the world would be in horrible danger."
- Atma
"...stop mocking me. I'm mocking you right now. We can't both mock
at the same time."
- Dave G.
"I think I need to electrocute some lab rats. Yes, that'll make me
feel better. [wanders away]"
- Cilamene
"If I was any more metal, I'd set off airport alarms."
- JT.
"Stop it, I don't need any more hope. I've got too much already."
- Atma. ;)
"Put the pen away before I hurt you, 'Glazer. O_o"
- Kathy
"Dude, if the fabric of reality is crumbling, could you please
let me in on it?"
- Dave G.
"You WOULDN'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
- Kain. Does it really matter what the context was? ;)
-------------------------
The Wizard's Rules:
-------------------------
Wizard's First Rule:
A person will believe any falsehood, either because he
wants to believe it, or he fears it is so.
Wizard's Second Rule:
The worst harm can result from the best intentions.
Wizard's Third Rule:
Passion rules reason.
-------------------------
Soliloquies
-------------------------
"Tomorrow, freedom disappears at 8:10 AM...
But can I mourn, knowing all along that this day would
eventually come?
The day where freedom, love, and career, are eradicated and
destroyed, money becomes a myth once again as does such
luxuries as sleep, personal life, or personal art.
All for 'Education'.
Can I mourn?
Oh, but I do. Such sadness fills me, for education steals
away the hearts of the strongest men, steals away their
will and their dreams, makes little more than painted puppets
of a system known to cause more pain and loss than career
and success.
I mourn. As I mourn for my dead grandmother, and for the
sensibilities of early man.
I mourn."
- Falimortalis.
-------------------------
"Don't you love those ads on TV for prescription drugs? First
you see all these happy people dancing and running on the beach and serving
each other Jell-O, when the announcer tells you how you've been living a lie
and it's time to admit that you suffer from hair loss and that as a direct
result of your hair loss, everyone hates you, including all the people in
this commercial,who have hired the cast of Resivior Dogs to kill you.
And then, as the happy people eat thier Jell-O and hug thier damn babies, we
learn how we can get this incredible drug that will end all hair loss and
give your pathetic excuse for an existence a shred of meaning once again.
And at this point we see the happy people collecting seashells, discovering
cures for cancer, single-handedly defeating entire professional basketball
teams in a game of HORSE, etc. All to distract you as the announcer says, in
as happy a way possible that, "Roxinabletricleminoxideltaclepikachumandrexamine
may cause vomiting, impotence, spontanous combustion, diariaha so potent that
the force of your farts will propel you across rooms, civil war, the
cancellation of The Practice, your ass to collapse, any children that you
may ever have to de-evolve into vicious baboons upon contact with the
Earth's atmosphere, a career boost for Charlie Sheen, certain death for
you and everyone you know, an ABBA reunion tour, and some mild headaches.
If you are ever planning to come in contact with any other living creature
ever again please do not take this product."
And then the happy people, still giddy after saving the earth from the alien
forces, all wave at you and the announcer reminds you that they'll never
like you unless you have hair."
- Wyvern.
-------------------------
"Yes. Those are the ones where you live to see the next save point,
and when you finally look up at the clock, you see it's 4:00 AM, so
you say, "But I've got to finish this next quest.. I can't have that
much more to do..." but then there are sidequests. The character who
you have to have with you to get to see the General is cut off from
the rest of the party. His love interest gets a terrible illness. You
have to find a cure. The world rearranges. Baal unleases Gaia. You
know, shit happens.
And, the next thing you know, you haven't slept for three days, you
can't see anymore, and you're still wandering around that one damn
labrynthine cave, looking for a treasure chest that may not even be
there, because you can't remember what the NPC said exactly that lead
you to the point where you're at. And then you run into one of those
damn Evil Oscars, and you haven't saved for three hours. He puts all
your guys to sleep, poisons them, imps them, and confuses them. They
kill each other.
You say, 'Fuck this.' And don't play that game for two months.
And this, my friend, is why RPGers always are a little different. <twitch, twitch>"
- Dave G.
-------------------------
"Two houses on my street are having a war. One of them lives down on the
corner of the street, the other lives next to my neighbor, Bob G. They are
always dressed up in camouflage and are carrying guns around the street.
Sometimes I see tanks and hummers driving down the street, and some days
there's dead people lying on the side of the road. It's been a bloody
battle, neither side is showing any signs of backing down. I think the war
started when the Nelsons didn't invite the Smiths to their block party last
spring and the following Monday Mr. Smith threw a grenade at the Nelson's
son as he was getting off the school bus. He missed and just blew up the
bus, but the Nelsons got the message. Ever since then the streets have been
filled with the sound of gunfire. Both families have been calling in other
family members/troops from all over the country. They've built large armies.
The Reynolds (another family on my street) joined the war a few months back,
but they were all killed when the Smiths burned their house down. Mr.
Reynolds survived, but I ran him over a few days later when I tried to dodge
a squirrel. I ended up hitting the squirrel anyway."
-------------------------
"Below is a story about a recent wedding that took place at Clemson.
This was a huge wedding with about 300 guests. After the wedding at the
reception, the groom got up on stage at the microphone to talk to the crowd.
He said that he wanted to thank everyone for coming, many from long
distances, to support them at their wedding. He especially wanted to thank
the bride's and groom's families for coming and to thank his new
father-in-law for providing such a fabulous reception. To thank everyone for
coming and bringing gifts and everything, he said he wanted to give everyone
a special gift from just him. So he taped to the bottom of everyone's chair
was a manila envelope including the wedding party. He said that was his gift
to everyone, and told everyone to open the envelopes. Inside each manila
envelope was a 8x10 picture of his best man having sex with the bride. (He
had gotten suspicious of the two of them and hired a private detective to
trail them weeks prior to the wedding.) After he stood there and watched the
people's reactions for a couple of minutes, he turned to the best man and
said "Fuck you," he turned to the bride and said "Fuck you," and then he
turned to the dumbfounded crowd and said "I'm out of here." He had the
marriage annulled first thing that Monday morning. While most of us would
have broken off the engagement immediately after finding out about the
affair, this guy goes through with it anyway as if nothing was wrong.
His revenge:
1) Making the bride's parents pay over $32,000 for a 300 guest wedding and
reception.
2) Letting everyone know exactly what did happen.
3) And best of all, trashing the bride's and best man's reputations in front
of all of their friends, their entire families
i.e. their parents, brothers, sisters, grandparents, nieces and nephews,etc.
This guy has balls the size of church bells."
- Washuu-Chan.
-------------------------
<quoted post>
Coli: "Illegal shit is the only shit worth finding."
JT: "I'm so metal I shit power tools."
Eyeglazer: "Same shit, different day."
Cliezon: "Confusing, this shit is."
Greg Cook: "I'm too old for this shit."
CabbitXtreme: "Here's a ninety-page story about a cabbit and a big
pile of shit..."
Avenger: "I don't care about any of your nasty poop."
Kain: <vomits in wastebasket>
Rob Browning: "Damn, that's one big pile of shit."
John Ford: "Your opinion is shit because it's not the opinion I told
you to have."
Atma: "STFU, cumguzzling shitbird."
Small Girl: "Oh, look at the cute pile of shit! I'm going to name you
Clarisse!"
Ramen Junkie: "I have a shitty job."
Funk: "That shit's nothing compared to my huge cock."
Linda: "Snip your piece of shit sig, coli!"
Justin Sueno: "A sig without me is like a toilet without shit."
Cypher: "Let's smoke this shit."
Dr. Evil: "Read my shit or pay me... ONE MILLION DOLLARS!"
Jason: "I don't give enough shit to say more than one sentence at a
time."
Nick Zitzmann: "If I post the FAQ, all this shit will go away."
A.Weirdo: "I'm not taking any racist shit from anybody."
Sky Render: "Who translated this shit?!"
Kwarlord: "If it's not Nintendo, it's shit."
Charon: "The undead don't NEED to give a shit."
Jiro: "Whatcha gonna do when the shit of Jiromania comes, boy?!"
</quoted post>
- AGFF Feces.
-------------------------
PICKUP LINES THAT MAY GET YOU KILLED
(first seen on battlereports.com by The..Scarab)
1. If you and I were squirrels, could I bust a nut in your hole?
2. I'd like to wrap your legs around my head and wear you like a
feedbag.
3. If it's true that we are what we eat, I could be you by morning!
4. How do you like your eggs: poached, scrambled, or fertilized?
5. I was about to go masturbate and I needed a name to go with your
face.
6. My love for you is like diarrhea--I just can't hold it in.
7. Roses are red. Violets are blue. I like spaghetti. Let's go fuck.
8. Is that a keg in your pants? 'Cause I would love to tap that ass!
9. If your right leg was Thanksgiving, and your left leg was Christmas,
could I meet you between the holidays?
10. You remind me of a championship bass--I don't know whether to mount
you or eat you!
11. Your parents must be retarded because you are special.
12. Could I touch your belly button . . . from the inside?
13. I'm not too good at algebra, but doesn't U+I = 69?
14. How about we play lion and lion tamer? You hold your mouth open and
I'll put my head in.
-------------------------
Once upon a midnight dreary, while I websurfed, weak and weary,
..Over many a strange and spurious website of 'hot chicks galore',
..While I clicked my fav'rite bookmark, suddenly there came a warning,
..And my heart was filled with mourning, mourning for my dear amour.
.."'Tis not possible," I muttered, "give me back my cheap hardcore!" -
Quoth the server: "404".
- Unknown.
-------------------------
"In the beginning, Man created God, and in the image of Man
created He Him.
And Man gave unto God a multitude of names, that he might be
Lord over all the earth when it was suited to Man.
And on the seven millionth day Man rested and leaned heavily
upon his God and saw that it was good.
And Man formed Aqualung of the dust of the ground, and a
host of others likened unto his kind.
And these lesser men Man did cast into the void. And some were
burned; and some were put apart from their kind.
And Man became the God that he had created and with his
miracles did rule over all the earth.
But as all these things did come to pass, the Spirit that
did cause Man to create his God lived on within all men; even
within Aqualung.
And Man saw it not.
But for Christ's sake he'd better start looking."
- Jethro Tull.
-------------------------
"I was told today that I should be happy, because I am
finally entering the real world. I am 18 and leaving
highschool for this real world.
Well I have a few things to say to all of you about to
go out into the real world.
To all of you that have ever held a friends head as they
threw up the three bottles of pills they had just swallowed.
To all of you who have ever been woken up at 3 in the
morning by a friend calling you hysterically crying to
tell you that another friend had just been killed in a car
crash.
To all of you that have kept the dirty secret of your what
your father did to you when you were only 5.
To all of you that have spent an entire night studying for
a test becuase you knew that if you failed it you would be
held back a year.
To all of you that have sat with a gun against your temple
wishing you had a friend.
To all of you who have laid on the ground while a group of
people soruonded you to kick you until your arm and three
ribs were broken.
To all of you who have sat frozen in place as a teenager
with a gun shot those around you.
To all of you that have pulled your newspaper blanket around
you in the cold of the night wishing you had a home to sleep in.
To all of you who spent agnozing days of your lives trying
to kick your heroin habit, only to fail again.
To all of you that have just sat down to cry as you realised
that the world was against you.
To all of you that have stood in front of the abortion clinic
trying to decide.
To all of you that have watched a smart creative person hide
there mind for fear of being insulted and degraded by there peers.
To all of you that have known that you have a monster lurking
in your soul and have fought to quell its hunger.
To all of you that have walked up to the casket of the person
whose life you stole by sitting behind the wheel of that car drunk.
To all of you that have watched your father waste away from the
cancer that infested him.
To all of you that have been held down while the guy you thought
you could trust raped you.
To all of you that have worn sunglasses to hide the bruises
your mom left on you for not cleaning your room.
To all of you that have pulled a half eaten penut butter and
jelly sandwich from the garbage becuase it was the first thing
you had seen to eat in three days.
To all of you I say:
Our simple carefree lives of children are over."
- Michael Hill.
-------------------------
"The meaning of life is simply something that religions have strived
to define for ages; that is, concrete proof that their way of believing
is the right way of believing. Because I am rather a nihilist, and
an athiest, I cannot accept that there is a giant cosmic secret that
would tell me how to be happy and healthy and live in God's good
grace. As I observe humanity, the endless diversity and variety,
such an idea becomes absurd to me, because all these people are
seeking the meaning of life, as though they themselves are not living
in the way they think fit. My place as a human is not to judge
the validity of various people's claims, and I can no longer believe
that science will reveal the meaning of life, because our minds and
scientific systems are not even equipped the measure that most
fundamental of universal theory- that of the concept of infinity.
It is because of these reasons that no, I cannot beleive in a soul,
nor a god, not a unified field theory. I believe that my life is
what I make of it, be it good or bad, because in the end, we're the
ones who control our fates, most of the time. My enemies are those
who try to gain control over my life, so they can count me as another
believer in their philosophy. The meaning of my life is to love and
be loved by Jolene, because she validates my existence, as I validate
hers. Who are we, if no one loves us, I ask you?
Plus, I have a really cool hat, and that has to count for something."
- Dave G.
-------------------------
"This is our world now... the world of the electron and the switch,
the beauty of the baud. We make use of a service already existing
without paying for what could be dirt-cheap if it wasn't run by
profiteering gluttons, and you call us criminals. We explore... and
you call us criminals. We seek after knowledge... and you call us
criminals. We exist without skin colour, without nationality, without
religious bias... and you call us criminals. You build atomic bombs,
you wage wars, you murder, cheat, and lie to us and try to make us
believe it's for our own good, yet we're the criminals.
Yes, I am a criminal. My crime is that of curiosity. My crime is that
of judging people by what they say and think, not what they look like.
My crime is that of outsmarting you, something that you will never
forgive me for. I am a hacker, and this is my manifesto. You may
stop this individual, but you can't stop us all... after all, we're
all alike."
- The Mentor, "The Conscience of a Hacker"
-------------------------
Cynicism in Action:
-------------------------
"Remember, in a job interview the more you lie the better."
- Mike.
"Ah, the dump that is the public school system...."
- Falimortalis
"Heck, we public school students ARE indentured servants: We have
to serve 12 years without pay and were never asked if we wanted
to join or not."
- From the Dilbert LOTD.
"This is America. We only punish [people] for doing shit like hitchhiking."
- Atma.
"Well, in a capitalist society, morals are worth however much
the churches want to pay the government to enforce them."
- Dave G.
"Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better lawyer."
- Unknown
"The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should
be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take
the safety lables off of everything and let the problem solve itself?"
- Unknown.
-------------------------
AIM and Fire:
-------------------------
Eyeglazer: Heh. I had about four times the kills you
did.
DaveG 1000: ...oh really?
Eyeglazer: Yep. :)
DaveG 1000: <dryly> That's just because you couldn't
keep your finger off the big red button.
(Dave and I, after I nuked his ass at Starcraft. <evil
laugh>)
-------------------------
Eyeglazer: Murphy has been unkind to me lately. 'Tis
only to be expected.
DaveG 1000: Karma, man.
Eyeglazer: Heh. What'd I do to deserve the punishment, eh? ;)
DaveG 1000: Every StarCraft game you've ever played.
(Dave and I again. Pretty self-explanatory. :)
-------------------------
Eyeglazer: Hmph. I guess if they'd figured out what it
meant, they'd've already crucified me for it.
Neo Atma: True
Eyeglazer: Either that or they're still trying to figure
out what the hell to do about it. O_o
Neo Atma: Maybe they're afraid if they say anything
you'll turn them into frogs. :)
(Atma and I, after I found out that my parents had removed
my books on magic from my desk drawer)
-------------------------
Bane Final: My girlfriend is bragging about her ethernet....
Katya Moon: Ouch.
Bane Final: Goddammit.
Katya Moon: LOL!
John007Z: Bane, I have Ethernet.
Bane Final: Yeah, but I don't have sex with you, CX.
(Excerpt from chatroom)
-------------------------
Slipgates: Are you gonna talk or am I gonna walk off
without you getting to the point of why you're happy?
Eyeglazer: Hmm...well now, let's see...
Eyeglazer: Tell you what, do you play chess?
Slipgates: Nope.
Eyeglazer: <nods> Good. If you can beat me in a game, I'll
tell you why I'm on a lunatic high.
(Sadism)
-------------------------
Atma: Gonna do a backup today
Eyeglazer: Err, yeah. Might be a good thing. What are you
going to back up to?
Atma: Everything?
Eyeglazer: No, no...what to? Zip disks? CDs? Magnetic
tape? Gerbil skins?
Atma: Gerbil skins.
-------------------------
Neo DRX: What do YOU have for trade, eh?
Eyeglazer: The promise that I will not do
anything obscenely evil to you in my fic. <nods>
Eyeglazer: Well?
Neo DRX: ...
Neo DRX: Agreed. O_O
(X and I talking about Win2000. ;)
-------------------------
Eyeglazer: Goodnight. If you see Kathy, don't tell her I
got my system together again. :P I want to tell
her myself.
A Lonely Hill: Okay
A Lonely Hill: Why, though? O_o
Eyeglazer: Because it will disturb her mightily when I start
screeching at her like I did at you when I finally
got my last driver set up. ;)
A Lonely Hill: ....
A Lonely Hill: And you want to disturb the love of your life? O_o
Eyeglazer: <adjusts tie> They don't call me the Evil
One for nothing. ;)
A Lonely Hill: ....Man, you really live up to your name.
Eyeglazer: Think of it this way. I'm eviller to my friends
than I am to my enemies. Imagine how much eviller
I am to my lover. ;)
A Lonely Hill: Was I the first one to call you that? I
think so, but I can't remember.
Eyeglazer: Yep. You were. And damn did I take it to heart. ;)
A Lonely Hill: Damn. Why did I do that? O_o
Eyeglazer: <evil voice> You created me, Gregory Cook.....
-------------------------
Dave G.: True. I mean, it really makes you appreciate your
family when you hear about other people's, doesn't it?
Eyeglazer: Err...well, no. ;)
Eyeglazer: It just makes me more convinced that relatives
are evil. <nods>
Dave G.: Oh. Yeah, that's better. ;-)
-------------------------
Slipgates: it's trying to download components and never
succeeding in getting them anyways
Eyeglazer: Heh.
Eyeglazer: Apply plastic explosives and heat until dead.
Slipgates: you always know how to be disturbing, doincha?
Eyeglazer: ....Slip! PKB, man! ;)
-------------------------
Neo Atma Weapon: Haha yeah I know the
feeling... Half the time I write shit,
someone thinks I stole an idea or title
from somewhere, but I didn't
Eyeglazer: Happens to everyone; the
chances of coming up with an idea that
has never been used anywhere are virtually
nil.
Neo Atma Weapon: Pretty much yeah
Neo Atma Weapon: For normal people, anyway.
For AGFFers, the chance is much higher, as
we have sick and demented minds to think up
shit normal people wouldn't.
Eyeglazer: This is true. ;)
-------------------------
Eyeglazer: Evil evil evil...evil...evil...evil...evil....
John007Z: Why yes, I am. Why do you ask?
Eyeglazer: Evil...evil...
John007Z: Um... Did you forget your Prozac this
morning or something?
Eyeglazer: E...v...i...l.....
John007Z: Yes, sir, excellent choice. Would you
like your evil rare or medium well?
Eyeglazer: Evil...evil...
John007Z: I see. Well, now, we have an excellent
selection of wines to go with your evil. Would you
like red or white wine? I believe red goes best
with rare evil.
Eyeglazer: Evil...
John007Z: And now for dessert. Care to order dessert
in advance, sir?
Eyeglazer: <nods> Evil.
John007Z: All right then. We have a wonderful side
order of evil pie over here....
Eyeglazer: How evil...?
John007Z: Oh, extremely evil, sir.
(pure derangement)
-------------------------
Wisdom of the Regs:
-------------------------
"One person will invent loneliness, two people will invent love, and
three people will invent war."
- Dave G.
"AIM carefully so no one gets hurt."
- Shirlene.
"Everything a person experiences affects the thinking of that person.
Some are affected to a greater degree than others. The logical
extention of this is that we should all go to sensory deprevation
tanks to live life as isolated as possible so as to not have our minds
further polluted by stimulus."
- Neal Wilson.
"Then there's the concept of 'fun.' What is the ultimate goal in
life? Who the hell knows? But it's almost universally known that it's
better to have fun on the way to that goal than to worry about 'passing
the game' your whole life. And what's more fun than taking the universe,
saying 'bugger to you' and making a game out of it? It'll make, say,
math homework, a hell of a lot easier to stomach."
- Excerpt from Charon's AGFFU contribution.
"It would be foolish to not take it, and foolish to take it. The
difference is that one foolishness can be fixed later and the other
cannot."
- Slipgate.
"But there will be a dawn eventually, and the next day will
begin - hopefully, a day whose brightness helps soften the
darkness of the previous night. But the dawn will certainly
never come if you choose to inflict on yourself the night
eternal that is death."
- Saint Kain, on suicide.
"Yet in nearly every case, there is somewhere to look for the path
to the beam of sunlight that pierces the clouds hanging over a
life of misery. And if we only think to look for that sunlight,
sooner or later we'll find it."
- Saint Kain.
"Many paths are open to you; it's up to you which one to take
and follow to the end."
- Aeaen. (okay, so he never reached regdom, but there's
no other place to put the quote. :)
"I learned something the hard way over time...age has nothing to do
with maturity."
- X.
"Parents suck, ignore them, and they'll go away."
- Bane
"Anyone who thinks they can completely understand love is a
fucking idiot."
- Atma
"We travel through this life alone, down a winding path. From
beginning to end, nothing is the same, yet at once everything is.
Though we may travel only a short distance together on our seperate
paths, I cherish every moment, and hope that the next turn finds us
together once again."
- James Anderson, Laughing Vigilante.
"Present first, future second, past third."
- Saint Kain.
"I am free of the past more than I have been in many a year, my
good man. And it is a feeling like no other. The past is a
wonderful thing to draw upon for experience, for memories...
for nostalgia, even, at times. But you cannot let it dominate
the present. I have, for far too long. No more. No damned more."
- Greg Cook.
"I would salute an American flag with 13 stars, as it started,
and as it was meant to be. I would burn an american (not
capitalized on purpose, does not deserve the respect to be
capitalized) flag with 50 stars."
- Atma
"ISPs cannot die, for they do not live."
- Atma.
"God has a laissez-faire policy."
- Tekhne
"You evil little troll. ;-)"
- Night Angel, regarding yours truly. ;)
"Your evilness disturbs me more than you can imagine."
- Jolene Lau, regarding the same. ;)
"You're a scary person, man, you really are."
- Dave G., ditto. ;)
"Because.... if we consider the smallest extension of the base field
containing all of the roots of the equation and consider the
automorphisms on the extension leaving the base field fixed, then they
form a group which is not solvable - that is, there does not exist a
chain of normal subgroups for which the factor groups are abelian."
- St. Kain, explaining why a general fifth degree
equasion is unsolvable.
-------------------------
Wisdom of the Games:
-------------------------
"It's not the net result of one's life that is important. It's the
day-to-day concerns, the personal victories, and the celebration of
life...and love!"
- Terra Branford, Final Fantasy VI
"Justice is not the only right in this world. Someday, you will see....
- Klu Ya, Final Fantasy IV (U.S. version)
"Evil in our minds will never disappear. We all have both evil and good
in our mind, just as there are the crystals of Light and Darkness, the
ground and underground. But as long as the evil exists, so does good.
Just as you held good in your heart to fight evil."
- Fu So Ya, Final Fantasy IV (U.S. version)
"Ayla fight while still alive! Win and live, lose and die. Rule of life.
No change rule."
- Ayla, Chrono Trigger
"Reality is a momentary dream, but a dream is reality for an eternity."
- The Mistress, Nocturnal Illusion
-------------------------
Wisdom of the World:
-------------------------
"Work like you don't need money,
Love like you've never been hurt,
and dance like no one is watching."
- Unknown
"I'd rather be in the cold and dark with my friends than the sun and
flowers without them."
- Unknown
"How can you come to know yourself? Never by thinking, always by doing.
Try to do your duty, and you'll know right away what you amount to. And
what is your duty? Whatever the day calls for."
- Johann Wolfgang von Goetha
"What is the terror of death?
That we die our work incomplete.
What is the joy of life?
To die knowing our task is done."
- Unknown
"If you were going to die
soon and had only one phone
call, who would you call
and why are you waiting?"
- Unknown
"God! Why do people have to lose things to find out what they mean?"
- Tommy, "Brigadoon."
"Better to light a candle than to curse the darkness."
- Chinese Proverb.
"I would rather be ashes than dust. I would rather my spark burn out in
a brilliant blaze than it be stifled in dry rot. I would rather be a
superb meteor, every atom of my magnificent glow, than a sleepy and
permanent planet. The proper function of man is to live, not just exist.
I shall use my time."
- Jack London
"If you hate a person, you hate something in him that is part of
yourself. What isn't part of ourselves doesn't disturb us."
- Herman Hesse
"For too long now we have been society's bitches. We
have been exploited and forced into pretending to be things that
we are not. 'Why does society hate us so much?' you ask. Society
hates us because we are living proof of its hypocrasy."
- excerpt from "Chaos," by Michael Hill.
"Quarrels would not last long if the fault were only on one side."
- Francois de La Rochefoucauld
"He who walks out of step, hears another drum."
- (not sure)
"The art of tact is making a point without making an enemy."
- Unknown
"Better to be deceived by a friend than to suspect a friend."
- Unknown
"Live today, die tomorrow. The world is a funny place, John,
so enjoy it while you can."
- Niora Bennett, to CX
"The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't
being said."
- Unknown
"If you find a posting from this site offensive,
inappropriate, or disruptive, please ignore it. If
you don't know how to ignore a posting, complain
to us and we will demonstrate."
- the Site of Virtue FAQ.
"Death will teach me how to shut up."
- Marlene
"Only those who risk going too far can possibly find out how
far one can go."
- T.S. Eliot
"A friend is someone who knows the song in your heart and can
sing it back to you when you've forgotten the words. "
- Unknown.
"He who has the courage to laugh is almost as much a master of the
world as he who is ready to die."
- Giacomo Leopardi
"Education is very important. School, however, is another matter."
- Unknown
"You can only live once. But if you do it right, once is enough."
- Unknown
"Don't be afraid of showing your feelings; be afraid of
regretting it when you don't."
- Laura Springer
"I found that sometimes, what you believe in becomes more real to you
than all the things you can explain away or understand."
- Tommy, "Brigadoon."
"Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.
Mastering others is strength, mastering yourself is true power."
- Lao-Tzu
"Words - so innocent and powerless as they are, as standing in a
dictionary, how potent for good and evil they become in the hands of
one who knows how to combine them."
- Nathaniel Hawthorne
"The probability that we may fail in the struggle ought not to deter us
from the support of a cause we believe to be just."
- Abraham Lincoln
"Do and say what you want because the people who mind don't
matter and the people who matter don't mind."
- Anonymous
"To laugh often and much; To win the respect of intelligent people and
the affection of children; To earn the appreciation of honest critics
and endure the betrayal of false friends; To appreciate beauty, to
find the best in others; To leave the world a bit better, whether by
a healthy child, a garden patch, or a redeemed social condition; To
know that even one life has breathed easier because you have lived.
This is to have succeeded."
- Ralph Waldo Emerson
-------------------------
People Complaining About
Not Being In Sigs
-------------------------
"You wanna know what my problem with large .sigs is? I'm not in any of
them. And I've been here for almost four years, dammit!"
- Rob Browning
"I don't mind snipping your sig everytime I have to respond to you,
but why the hell don't you have a quote from me in your sig yet?
Why, dammit, why?!!?!"
- Justin Sueno, Replacement Timo.
-------------------------
Posts of the Week.
-------------------------
Below lies the lists of those posts granted the Post of the Week award
since its instatement during the week of April 18th, 1999. If you see
your name here, add the award to your sig. :)
-------------------------
Post of the Week.
"Concerning Recent Departures."
by Dave Gunslinger.
Week of April 11th, 1999.
-------------------------
-------------------------
Post of the Week.
"It's Good to have a Friend Like Mine."
by Technetium.
Week of April 18th, 1999.
-------------------------
-------------------------
Post of the Week.
"CRAGFF Generalissimo GIGANTOR."
by Thierry Nguyen.
Week of April 25th, 1999.
-------------------------
-------------------------
Post of the Week.
"This is weird..."
by Tekhne.
Week of July 11th, 1999.
-------------------------
-------------------------
Post of the Week.
"Beware: Insane Greg RamblingAndLaterPreaching Rant."
by Gregory "GFox" Cook
Week of May 28th, 2000.
-------------------------
-------------------------
Tales of Agff
-------------------------
"Do not follow where the path may lead; go instead where
there is no path and leave a trail."
- Unknown
"Imagination is the one weapon in the war against reality."
- Jules de Gaultier
"It takes a thousand voices to tell a single story."
- Indian Proverb
"Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate
question. They had worked for months gathering one each of
every computer that was built. Finally the big day was at hand.
All the computers were linked together. They asked the question,
"Is there a God?". Lights started blinking, flashing and blinking
some more. Suddenly, there was a loud crash, and a bolt of
lightning came down from the sky, struck the computers, and
welded all the connections permanently together.
'There is now', came the reply."
- Unknown
"Kiwis have the innate ability to say 'Moo.'"
- Edwyn
"FUCK YOU TOO, MODEM!"
- Atma
-------------------------
The Final Quote:
-------------------------
"Freedom does not exist as an external truth. It exists inside
men, and those who wish to be free are free."
- Paul Ernst
Eyeglazer
>
>Harlequin's Sex Toy <clown...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>news:39A83E...@hotmail.com...
>> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
>> leaves my body most often.
>
>In that case, mine would be white with some red in it.
...dear Bob, that's disturbing.
Disillusion
>Disillusion <vinc...@aol.commyears> wrote in message
>news:20000826185027...@ng-fs1.aol.com...
>> >Harlequin's Sex Toy <clown...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
>> >news:39A83E...@hotmail.com...
>> >> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem
>to
>> >> leaves my body most often.
>> >
>> >In that case, mine would be white with some red in it.
>>
>
>I did. He just gave me the finger.
>
>
>No gloves.
>
Augh...I walked head first into that one... -_-
Neo Atma
Harlequin's Sex Toy wrote:
>
> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
> leaves my body most often.
>
Hrm. I believe I would be red. Fire attacks are definitely my thing.
--
AIM: NeoAtma
"Heartless #$$#)!&$" as proclaimed by TND
"If anything, the opposite is true. Even the best man has a touch of
evil in him." - Morrigan
Estuans interius
ira vehementi
Estuans interius
ira vehementi
Sors immanis
Et inanis
Sors immanis
Et inanis
"Jonny is a fucking waste of space on this planet and should be killed
immediately to make more room for the people who are actually
important." - JT, obviously one of the wisest men on Earth.
"Notebook? It was a thirty volume set of books with "DIE ATMA DIE"
written five hundred times on each page." - Tekhne, commenting to Rob
Brow-- Like I even need to say who he was commenting on...
"Like throwing a hotdog down a hallway..." Gann0n, in the thread "*puts
Greg's dick in Small Girl's pussy*"
"<shakes head> I'm still trying to figure out how a 13yr old can have
such
a sick mind.. <Gann0n turns around and sees Animeg> hmm.. never mind..."
- Gann0n
"That is what is so nice about this group. Everyone hates each other.
Except me. I don't hate anyone. I feel so alone in that fact. I
feel cold....empty....like one of those urine specimen cups after they
have poured the urine into a glass tube and tossed the cup in the
trash....the bastards...they never care about the cup...it's just
"oooh we'll put the urine in the fancy smancy glass tube, that'll be
great." and to hell with the cup...nobody even mentions the
cup...nobody thinks "maybe the cup would like the urine rinsed out?
maybe it would like to be used again? to know it is still needed?"
noooo, of course not. let's all look at the pretty little tube.
shiny little glass tube. who cares about the cup. the cup we use and
throw away like some five dollar whore. do they ever think about the
cup? do they? no. if someone did mention the cup, they wouldn't
care. well what about the cup??? it did it's duty so now it doesn't
matter?? what the hell kind of treatment is that??? it's a damn cup,
it deserves better! it holds the urine, it is what DELIVERS the urine
TO THE DAMNED GLASS TUBE!!!! THE GLASS TUBE COULDN'T DO IT'S JOB IF
THE CUP DID NOT DO IT'S JOB FIRST! but what gets the attention? the
glory? the honor and respect? the...damn.....glass....tube........" -
Neo
Rubicant
"reading this newsgroup to get information is like trying to fill your
daily recommendation of Vitamin C by eating Skittles." - Unright
"Are you trying to say that Tifa's a slut? You are so very wrong. Just
give her twenty bucks and she'll change your mind." - Timo Suave
"It just feels like I am part of One Big, Dysfunctional, Psychotic,
Homicidal, Suicidal, Barbacidal, Sadistic, Pathetic, Perverted,
Eccentric, Happy
Family. Thanks." - Belthasar
"Atma doesn't accept friends. He just has people he doesn't hate as much
as other people." - Edwyn
Idiocies of the American Government
---
1. At 15, you can be in control of a 3 ton, 100 MPH weapon, but you
can't
get alcohol until 21.
2. 21 for alcohol, 18 for tobacco. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but
isn't
alcohol LESS dangerous?
3. In many states, you can buy a gun, but not fireworks. So it's okay
to
have a firing weapon, just as long as it was designed to kill, and is
more
than slightly dangerous (how's a bottle rocket gonna kill you?).
4. Governor Jesse Ventura. Enough said.
5. You have to be 18 (or any age if you have parental permission, I
believe)
to make an "eternal, holy vow" binding you to someone forever, but
again...
21 for alcohol.
6. "I can legally fly my own plane at 17 but can't be a passenger on
one till
18 without parental permission." - Eyeglazer
7. "In Tennessee, it's illegal have anal or oral sex with a human, but
it's
legal to have sex with any animal under 40 pounds." - Laughing Vigilante
Feel free to suggest any additions to this section. I know there's A
LOT more
idiocy not yet mentioned here.
Harlequin's Sex Toy
>
> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
> leaves my body most often.
>
Oh, and here are my abilities:
L3. CumShot: 'Cum leaves streaks if you don't clean it right away'
(effects one enemy)
L5. TakeCover: 'White-washing your enemy never came any easier...'
(effects all enemies)
L7. HolyShit: 'God, who doesn't exist, takes a dump on all the enemies
and leaves them in a state of total confusion wondering how they were
just shit on by a non-existant deity.'
You need the Porno Mag from FFIV to cast my Level 7 skill.
Justin Sueno
>Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
>leaves my body most often.
Well, that being the case, I'd have to say green.
Justin Sueno, not commenting on where it comes from. Or what fluid it is.
su...@hawaii.edu
----------------------------
Murasame
> leaves my body most often.
Mauve. Or taupe. Or maybe eggplant?
-- __
NIHIL / \
\ /
|| ALIUD
SCIT||
||
/---- ----\
||NECESSITAS
QUAM ||
||
|| VINCERE
||
|\ || /|
<** | \||/ |urasame **>
| || |
||
||
||
||
||
\/
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
* Dr. Evil's clone who, coincidentally, is exactly like him in every way (except for the
name, obviously). What a coincidence!
* Dictator-for-life of A.G.F-F.meow
* http://www.angelfire.com/or2/bshot - the AGFF photo gallery
* Writer of the official AGFF(r)(tm)((c)2000) slogan:
"Want intelligent information? Watch PBS! If you want cool posts from
(mostly) cool people, go to AGFF!"
* Giver of "Name That Tune" points
* Giver of "RPG Music Afficionado" points
* WuName: Jive Talkin' Choirboy
* MGS Name: Lance Cobra
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
ICQ: 39243546
AIM: NeoMurasame
E-Mail: muras...@hotmail.com
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
Points 'n Stuff:
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
* 10 MARUCHAN points (from Ramen Junkie, "way back when" before he gave out
Ramen points)
* 1,000,000 metal armT points (from Zohar)
* 15 Luddite points (from A.Weirdo)
* 1 Log point (from A.Weirdo)
* 20 Flying Monkey points (from DiSiLLuSiOn)
* 2 Calvin & Hobbes points (from DiSiLLuSiOn)
* 1 Red Koopa Shell Award (from Kwarlord for my godly knowledge of Super Mario
trivia)
* 1 Genuine Smart Guy Award (from Cliezon for my "keen grasp of the obvious")
* 18 Ramen points (from Ramen Junkie, for taking his various surveys)
* 0.5 Excessive Sig points (from Ramen Junkie for my badass .sig)
* 2 RPG Master points (from Kwarlord, for my knowledge of RPG trivia)
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
______ ______
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% |||__||| %#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%# |||__|||
TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY POSTS \/ \/ FIVE HUNDRED POSTS \/ \/
TO ALT.GAMES.FINAL.FANTASY (0250) TO ALT.GAMES.FINAL.FANTASY (0500)
%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% \__/ %#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%#%# \__/
______ ______
%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%# |||__||| %#@*%#@*%#@*%#@*%#@*%#@*%# |||__|||
ONE THOUSAND POSTS \/ \/ FIFTEEN HUNDRED POSTS \/ \/
TO ALT.GAMES.FINAL.FANTASY (1000) TO ALT.GAMES.FINAL.FANTASY (1500)
%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%#@%# \__/ %#@*%#@*%#@*%#@*%#@*%#@*%# \__/
______
%#@*?%#@*?%#@*?%#@*?%#@*?% |||__|||
TWO THOUSAND POSTS \/ \/
TO ALT.GAMES.FINAL.FANTASY (2000)
%#@*?%#@*?%#@*?%#@*?%#@*?% \__/
-=OFFICIAL POST COUNT=-
************
*2401 posts*
************
AGFF
[1](FG)4(GP)1P,4P,5POG,6BOGF,7BOG,8B(FC)Kn,Lo,Er,Cy,Sz,Sh,C7,Ti,Bh,Gg,Ex,Ul,
Kf,Rf,Jv,Se,Iz,Rl,KtDF,Vr,We,El,Rb,Rz,Md,Dl,Bw,Ag,Se(HC)Ed,Gu,Rl,Ca,Yf,Bn,Ra
,Mk,Sl,Ze,Ru,En,Hj,AlAS,Gf,Am(FS)MO(OL)1(FA)A
[2](PR)3(FP)Sr(HP)MT(FT)Cyp(ST)Naw(GB)2(AR)3(TP)2(GFS)3(PWI)3(MD)4
[3](YA)3(YW)4(YG)M(EC)Hz(HC)BrD(HL)3(CH)3(FAS)Tek(CL)OR(PT)C6
This is the .sig that doesn't end
Yes it goes on and on my friend
Dr. Evil kept adding more crap to it
Not knowing what it was
But it will keep on growing bigger just because...
[repeat until someone shoots you]
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
-=-=-And now, quotes-=-=-
=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
*Trumpet fanfare*
"*I* am Atma, newbie. Now go away."
- Atma
"I would, but you seem to be blocking the path."
- Gogo, in reply to the above
"And yes, Ford is as anal as Richard Simmon's sexual fantasies."
- Atma
"Even worse, you still don't have a quote from that Justin Sueno guy in your
sig. What the hell are you trying to pull eh?"
- Sueno, to me. I do NOW; happy?!
"Ahh, logic -- your arch-nemesis, RJ?"
- Me, to Ramen Junkie
"All right, back up, put the gun down, and get me a pack of tropical fruit
Bubblicious...and some Skittles."
- Will Smith and Martin Lawrence in 'Bad Boys'
"Notepad - The HTML Editor for Champions."
- Cliezon
"I do know who you are. You're a heretic against Cypherology and a yellow
stain on the shorts of humanity."
- Rob Cypher, to Eric42
"How come they call it taking a dump and not leaving a dump? I mean after
all, you're not really taking it anywhere."
- Ramen Junkie
"WHO THE FUCK KEEPS CALLING FOR THE KUMBIA KINGS ON THE BOX?! GAY! FAGS! GAY
FAGS! GAY GAY FAG FAGS! GAAAAAAAY! FAAAAAAGS!"
- Jiro at his most intelligent
"You're the new offical all-purpose scapegoat/tackling dummy of the
newsgroup."
- Crisis, to Ford
"Mm-mm, scrumdidlyumptious!"
- Fei, Xenogears
"Two: One to wash the dishes and one to suck my dick."
- Rob Browning, answering the question "How many feminists does it take to
wash the dishes?"
"Look, you fucking pile of cunt dribble, if you're looking for someone that
gives two fucks about your pathetic excuses for flames, you've definitely
got the wrong guy."
- Atma, to Lance Lomas
"No wait, that's someone else. I'm just some loser who hangs out in newsgroups. But I
did find a web page with a bunch of Darkwing Duck quotes."
- Peter Weisberg
"AOL is the head corporation of the internet."
- Nate Bryan Kent, the stupidest troll to ever walk the earth
VampyreHunter "D"
Harlequin's Sex Toy <clown...@hotmail.com> wrote in message
news:39A83E...@hotmail.com...
> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
> leaves my body most often.
Translucent black.
--
VampyreHunter "D"
www.neofix.cjb.net
E-mail at: fi...@aziz99.fsnet.co.uk
"...I hear he shaves one leg so that when he goes to bed it feels like he's
sleeping with a woman" - Jerry Lawler on Chris Jericho (WWF Fully Loaded
2000)
"Annoying! Annoying! Annoying! You're just so bleeding annoying!" - Ryuji
Yamazaki
"I saw right through you like...well, something transparent" - Joe Higashi
Astos
> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
> leaves my body most often.
Mine would be blue. And you guys can't have secondary colours! You gotta
pick just one.
Dan.
--
Dan Posluns - posl...@mcmaster.ca, formerly dpos...@total.net, formerly
ke...@astral.magic.ca
http://msw.mcmaster.ca/~poslundc/
ICQ #35758902
"The great thing about being the only species that makes a distinction
between right and wrong is that we can make up the rules for ourselves as
we go along." - Douglas Adams, Last Chance to See
El Cid de Rameno
> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
> leaves my body most often.
Black or Red.
Lv3: Manipulate, think Cait Sith.
Lv5: Lead Pipe, Super hit, with cool animation.
Lv7: Hmm, I'm not sure.
--
Ramen Junkie
http://www.geocities.com/Tokyo/Pagoda/6098
AIM - RJ Chaos
Cliezon
The crap had really hit the fan on that fateful day when Hell Yeah! invaded
our homeland, alt.games.final-fantasy. Amidst the carnage, their
spokesperson, Harlequin's Sex Toy, stepped forward and uttered the following
words:
> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
> leaves my body most often.
I'd say I'd probably be a green innate. I mean, come on, you wouldn't want
to cast spells like Bushbasher with increased proficiency? :P
--
Mark "Cliezon" Brown
ICQ # 201949
AIM - SW Genius
Fanfic Writer and Resident Southpaw
GFS Apprentice, Level 6
Remove NFL reference to reply via e-mail.
==
House 'o' Points (and other number stuff)
70 Cutey Points
206 Kefka Points
Infinite SW Points
10 Prophetic Points
2 Calvin and Hobbes Points
An Insignificant Number of Posts to alt.games.final-fantasy
(Currently 1500+)
1 (One) Most Voluminous Poster of the Week Title (on AGFF)
==
Quasi-Official Titles
Bugger of AGGTA
Conqueror of the Netherlands
Nobel Prize Nominee (by Coli)
ASMR Male Sex Symbol (by the ASMR Moonie community)
AGFF President Ramen Junkie's Bodyguard
Co-Official Band Dork of AGFF (with Ninn)
Giver of the occasional Smart Guy of the Day Award™
==
Usenet Wisdom
--- NOTICE: The term 'wisdom' is applied liberally.
"Look up the word 'joke' in the dictionary, immediately."
~ Rob Browning, after Dr. Evil was duped by a joke report
"Why can't the serial killers, terrorists, and teens with guns shoot down
the people that really need to be shot down?"
~ Eyeglazer to me, regarding parent groups
"Guns don't kill people. I do."
~ Ramen Junkie, to Eyeglazer
"Someone say something noteworthy before I have to go stealing quotes out of
Eyeglazer's .sig."
~ Atma, in a plea for one-liners
"My bowel movements have produced higher quality lyrics than those heard by
Limp Bizkit."
~ Funk, insulting his own intestines (and trolling AMLB)
"I've been called a jock, nerd, and druggie, and about 10 other things
during my life. How about we all call each other people instead, eh?"
~ Greg "Fox" Cook, the one and only legend with GFS as his legacy
"Good advice, from a good man. Now go get laid."
~ Gerg again, offering some advice to a parting Avenger
"Nobody cares... and those who do should be shot."
~ Doc Bean, describing the true apathy of AGFF
"On the radio: Survivor. On talk shows: Survivor. On Letterman, Leno, and
Kilborn: Survivor. This is fucking sad. Get a life, people. The show sucked,
anyway."
~ Dr. Evil, echoing my thoughts upon the ending of Survivor (which I never
watched)
"I'm [censored], btw, and though you're older in years, you're not very
bright when it comes to the Internet. Unless, of course, you're just acting
that stupid. In which case, you need a life or a job, or if you have a job,
you need to ask them for more hours. Yeesh."
~ Moony (Umi Ryuuzaki), flushing Nate Bryan Kent's age down the crapper.
(Censored her age - it's rude to ask such things of a lady, after all!)
==
///// The Quasi-Official AGFF List of Things to do Before Dying \\\\\
This list is constructed from the musings of various AGFFers as a
compilation - meant to be a 'checklist' of sorts, of things that should be
tried before one dies. A list will be kept of the plausible submissions, and
also which AGFFers have done each.
Credit is given to Eyeglazer for the suggestion to add such a list, and to
each individual who submits to the list.
1. "The Wal-Mart Derby" - Late at night is the best time. You grab a
shopping cart and go on a mission. Fill it up with lingerie, whipped cream,
polaroid film, rope, toy handcuffs, condoms, a disposable enema, one of
those big foam noodles, and anything else that is used primarily for a
sexual purpose. Then either leave that somewhere inappropriate, or, if you
have really big balls, go to the cash register with the lady who looks the
most like your grandmother (any companion works almost as well.) As they
ring it up, check your wallet and realize you only have ten dollars. Say 'my
mistake' and just walk out.
(from: The Laughing Vigilante. Added 7/27/00)
Performed by: Data not available.
2. "The Taco Bell Freaking Run" - This can only be performed after midnight,
but must be before the Taco Bell, or other drive-thru establishment, closes.
Beforehand, buy a red box and rig it so you can illegally make prank phone
calls. Details will not be given. Pack a car with your friends and drive to
a place whose drive-thru is still open. While ordering, make lots of animal
noises. Be unclear. The more you can confuse and annoy the employee, the
better. When at the window itself, ask if you can pay in nickels. If
accepted, laugh then pay normally anyway. Make obscene noises as you take
your food, then drive off to somewhere remotely secluded with pay phones.
While eating your food, use the red box to make prank phone calls on people
in other states. Always keep one person in the driver's seat, so a quick
getaway can be made if unwanted attentions come. And play with the fool's
minds as much as possible!
(from: Cliezon. Added 8/25/00)
Performed by: Cliezon.
==
***** The True Meanings of Cliezon ****
Cybernetic Lifelike Individual Engineered for Zealous Observation and
Nullification
-- The Brunching Shuttlecocks Toys
(http://www.brunching.com/toys/toy-cyborger.html)
Affable Polar-Bear
-- Metal Gear Solid Name Generator
(http://www.buzzsite.com/goodies/MGSnamegen/)
Curly-Haired Slacker
-- WuNames (http://www.recordstore.com/cgi-bin/wuname/wuname.pl)
Disillusion
>Harlequin's Sex Toy, clown...@hotmail.com :
>> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
>> leaves my body most often.
>
>Black or Red.
>
>Lv3: Manipulate, think Cait Sith.
>
>Lv5: Lead Pipe, Super hit, with cool animation.
>
>Lv7: Hmm, I'm not sure.
Black
Lv3: BFM: You should already be able to picture that. (One enemy
needless to say)
Lv5: Multi-form: Shadows of my character/self would surround all enemy's and
beat the shit out of them.... hehe
Lv7: Acid Rain: Think Ryu-Akuma's air super in MvC. Tons of fireballs
smacking all the enemys around.
Vincent Kelgar Valentine
>
> leaves my body most often.
Eww. bad acne, huh?
--
#### ######## ######
###################### Vincent Kelgar Valentine. Ex-Turk,
######################## Official AGFF Weaponsmith, Everyone's
############################ temp mother, Snow Bar owner and #1
########****################ Novice Ascii Art plagiarist (kinda')
########****################
## ########################## Co-author of the The New Legend,
## ## $$ ################ Bail?, and Things to do on a Snowy
## $$__################ Night, the coolest Fanfics on Usenet
############################
##**##********######****#### Is my .sig is too long? Then you may
##**########****************## direct complaints to that brick wall
##################**********## over there
## ####33##########**########
## ####333333##33############## "The dumber people think you are, the
## ####========#### ###### more suprised they're going to be
## ########3333## ## when you kill them."
####****######33## ##**## --William Clayton
##****##\\##33## ##**##
##****##\\##\\########****## "Life is short and hard, like a body-
##**########\\\\\\##******## -building elf."
####\\\\\\######\\\\##****## --Nick Wilson
########\\\\\\##\\####**##
############## ## ACE93 Castle residency number: 003
ASCII of FF7s Vincent Valentine(© Square) © VV co.
---Aol Instant Messenger screen name---
************** DBSOTgun ***************
:Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ :Þ
%#&@=$*+%#&@=$*+%#&@=$*+%#&@=$*
TWO THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED POSTS
TO ALT.GAMES.FINAL-FANTASY
%#&@=$*+%#&@=$*+%#&@=$*+%#&@=$*
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(0250) (0500) (0750) (1000) (1250) (1500) (2000) (2500)
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ALMOST ONE \/ \/
POST OF THE DAY ( )
¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿¿ \__/
:):):):):):):):):)
BEST CHOPPED .SIG ______|||__|||\/\/(.sig)\__/
BY LINDA AWARD
(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:(:
_______________________________________
|Awarded The AGFF Vice-janitor Pro-tem's|
| * Golden Mop and Bucket Award! * |
|_______________________________________|
$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$
$$HERE ARE MY AGFF$$
$$POINTS. THE ONLY$$
$PERPOSE THEY SERVE$
$$$IS THAT YOU'RE$$$
$$$ABLE TO SAY "I$$$
$HAVE SOME POINTS!"$
$$$$$$$| |$$$$$$$$$
_| |_
\ /
\ /
\/
15 CecilX points
25 Cutie points
02 Unright points
25 NightShade Undead Madness Points
\|||||||||||||||||||||||||/
-AGFF GOD OF VANDAL HEARTS- <---Deity Status
/|||||||||||||||||||||||||\
()O()0()0()0()0()0()0()
PROUD TO BE A ACE93-ER.
()0()0()0()0()0()0()0()
"You Know your sig is a legend when it is stolen"
-St. Kain Aron Highwind
Chris Fry
delivered up to Chris, the message from VampyreHunter "D"
<fa...@lalaland.com> that went...
>> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
>> leaves my body most often.
>
>Translucent black.
Mine would be one of those swirly blacks that seem to contain ever
shifting patterns when you try and focus on it :)
Chris
-=- Chris Fry -- http://www.sucs.swan.ac.uk/~fry -=-
c.c...@one-elm.demon.co.uk
Chris Fry
er.ca> that went...
>> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
>> leaves my body most often.
>
>Mine would be blue. And you guys can't have secondary colours! You gotta
>pick just one.
>
Why? most games have a primary and secondary weapon... cant you just
hold 'blue' in your hand, and like.. holster 'red' on your hip?
In that case... I keep a rainbow on my bandolier! Mmm.. rainbow
grenades. Launch 'em and turn people different colours.. scary..
Chris Fry
w.you.lazy.bastard> that went...
>> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
>> leaves my body most often.
>
>Mauve. Or taupe. Or maybe eggplant?
Someones been reading the crappy MS windows names for the more normal
colours like 'purple'. :)
Harlequin's Sex Toy
>
> Harlequin's Sex Toy wrote:
> >
> > Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem to
> > leaves my body most often.
>
> Eww. bad acne, huh?
>
Not for about three years.
--
/ / / / / / / / / / / /
CX
clown...@hotmail.com wrote:
> Mine would be white, because that's the color of the liquid that seem
to
> leaves my body most often.
Green.
Lv.3 Pounce (One Enemy) Like Pip's Pounce, but stronger
Lv.5 Carrot Bomb (One enemy) Giant carrot skewers enemy
Lv.7 Crystal Song (All Allies) Sacrifice CX to remove status (even KO)
and restore all HP of allies
--
CX
Real e-mail: cabbit...@yahoo.comthetruth
(no, I'm not back)
Sent via Deja.com http://www.deja.com/
Before you buy.