Ballads
Joel Parker
of the childhood standards including:
Whistle while you work
Hitler is a jerk
Mussolini (sp?) bit his weenie
Now it doesn't work
I'll look in my files(!) and see if I can find it, but I'll bet that it is
reprinted in one of the "Hell" books.
... and, of course, there is the standard (with infinite variations {which
makes it less of a standard?}):
On top of spaghetti
All covered with cheese
I lost my poor meatball
When sombody sneezed
It rolled of the table
And onto the floor
And then my poor meatball
Rolled out of the door
Into the garden
And under a bush
And then my poor meatball
Was nothing but mush
jp
Joel Parker
Here is a list of familiar childhood ballads that Matt Groening printed in
his "Life in Hell"'s "Kids Greatest Hits" cartoon back in 1985. I assume that
since these are in fact common folklore.urban songs of unknown origin, that my
reprinting here is no copyright infringement.
If it is, don't have a cow, man.
j "no signature" p
(tune: Popeye)
I'm Popeye the sailor man
I live in a garbage can
I eat all the worms
And spit out the germs
I'm Popeye the sailor man
I'm Popeye the sailor man
I live in a garbage can
I love to go swimmin'
With bare naked women
I'm Popeye the sailor man
I'm Popeye the sailor man
I live in a garbage can
I turned on the gas
And burned off my ass
I'm Popeye the sailor man
(tune: Jingle Bells)
Jingle Bells
Batman smells
Robin laid an egg
Batmobile
Lost a wheel
And commissioner broke his leg
(tune: Addams Family)
The Addams family started
When Uncle Fester farted
They all came out retarded
The Addams family
(tune: ?)
We must, we must
We must develop our bust
The bigger the better
The tighter the sweater
The boys like us better
(tune: McDonalds ??)
McDonalds is your kind of place
They throw food in your face
Hot dogs right up your nose
French fries between your toes
And don't forget the chocolate shakes
They're from polluted eggs
(tune: Hi Ho)
Hi ho, hi ho
It's off to school we go
With hand grenades and razor blades
Hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho, hi ho
I bit my teacher's toe
She bit me back the dirty rat
Hi ho, hi ho
(tune: Allouette)
Suffocation
Takes coordination
Suffocation
A game we all can play
First you take a plastic bag
Then you put it on your head
Go to bed
Wake up dead
Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h
(tune: Frere Jacques)
Marijuana, marijuana
LSD, LSD
College kids're makin' it
High school kids're takin' it
Why can't we?
Why can't we?
(tune: Tra La La Boom Dee Ay)
Tra la la boom dee ay
We have no school today
Our teacher passed away
We shot her yesterday
We threw her in the bay
She scared the sharks away
And when we pulled her out
She smelled like sauerkraut
(tune: Whistle While You Work)
Whistle while you work
Hitler is a jerk
Mussolini
Bit his weenie
Video Magician
>
> On top of spaghetti
> All covered with cheese
> I lost my poor meatball
> When sombody sneezed
>
> It rolled of the table
> And onto the floor
> And then my poor meatball
> Rolled out of the door
>
> Into the garden
> And under a bush
> And then my poor meatball
> Was nothing but mush
>
> jp
Wasn't this version written by Tom Rush or Tom Lehrer or someone? I think
that I have heard it performed on record, I just can't remember by who.
Ronald Amundson
>In article <20...@boulder.Colorado.EDU>, par...@boulder.Colorado.EDU (Joel Parker) writes:
>>
>> On top of spaghetti
>> All covered with cheese
>> I lost my poor meatball
>> When sombody sneezed
>>
>
>Wasn't this version written by Tom Rush or Tom Lehrer or someone? I think
>that I have heard it performed on record, I just can't remember by who.
The song was released as a 45 by Dick Biondi, a fairly strange rock
radio disk jockey, in about 1961. (Yep, young feller, I've been
around a long time.) Biondi was on WLS in Chicago (then a rock
station). The impression I got was that Biondi had written the song,
but I might be wrong. It was released as a sort of promotion of the
station. Biondi later moved to LA. Rumors went around about him
making some pornographic joke, unintentionally, and being fired from
WLS. I don't recall the joke, but it was something like the one
always attributed to Groucho on his show:
Guest: I have 13 children.
Groucho: 13 children? Why so many?
Guest: I love my wife.
Groucho: Well, I love my cigar, but I take it out once in a while.
I seem to recall Brunvand debunking this story, but there are a lot of
the "blunder on TV" stories. Of which the despicable Newlywed Game
joke recently posted is an example.
Ron Amundson
Beth MOURSUND
Our version:
>On top of spaghetti
>All covered with cheese
>I lost my poor meatball
>When sombody sneezed
>
>It rolled off the table
>And onto the floor
>And then my poor meatball
>Rolled out of the door
>
It rolled in the garden
>And under a bush
>And then my poor meatball
>Was nothing but mush
Oh, the mush was as tasty
As tasty could be
And early next summer
It grew into a tree
The tree was all covered
With beautiful moss
And on it grew meatballs
In to-ma-to sauce.
So if you eat spaghetti
All covered with cheese
Hold onto your meatballs
And don't ever, ah, ah, ah, ah-tchoo!
Then of course, to merge this thread with the "glory, glory Halleluja,
teacher hit me with a ruler" thread, there was always
"On top of old Smokey
All covered with sand,
I shot my poor teacher
With a red rubber band.
I went to her funeral,
I went to her grave;
My sister threw flowers,
I threw a grenade."
Gary Allen
Performed, maybe. Written? I doubt it. I learned this about 1955.
Gary Allen
Apollo Computer
Chelmsford, MA
gal...@apollo.HP.COM
Jacob Mattison
"On Top of Spaghetti" was written, I believe, by Tom Paxton. I think
I have documentation of this someplace- I'll post again tomorrow.
Jacob
--
ja...@cs.swarthmore.edu Jacob Mattison There's a land that I see
JM...@campus.swarthmore.edu Action=Life Where the children are free
JM...@swarthmr.bitnet Amandla! And I say it ain't far
AS...@swarthmr.bitnet To this land from where we are
Steve Warren
>(tune: McDonalds ??)
>
>McDonalds is your kind of place
>They throw food in your face
>Hot dogs right up your nose
>French fries between your toes
>And don't forget the chocolate shakes
>They're from polluted eggs
Here is how we did it when I was a kid:
(tune: McDonalds is your kind of place - from the '60s commercial)
McDonalds is your kind of place,
They serve you rattle snakes,
Coca Cola up your nose,
French fries between your toes.
In fact last time that I was there,
They fried my underwear.
McDonalds is your kind of place...
--
--Steve DISCLAIMER: All opinions are my own (I don't speak for Convex)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------
{uunet,sun}!convex!swarren; swa...@convex.COM
David MOERY
> Takes coordination
> Suffocation
> A game we all can play
> First you take a plastic bag
> Then you put it on your head
> Go to bed
> Wake up dead
> Oh-h-h-h-h-h-h-h
>
Suffocation
A form of recreation
Suffocation is really fun to do
First you take the garden hose
Then you stuff it up your nose
Turn it on
Then you're gone
Oh-oh-oh-oh
>
>
> We threw her in the bay
> She scared the sharks away
> And when we pulled her out
> She smelled like sauerkraut
>
My version:
Ta-ra-ra-boom-de-ay
The teacher died today
We threw her in the bay
She drove a Chevrolet
TJ Wood WA3VQJ
Woman Sings:
Who's that knocking on my door?
Who's that knocking on my door?
Who's that knocking on my door?
Said the fair young maden?
Man Sings:
It's only me from over the sea,
Said Baracle Bill, the sailor.
So lie on the floor and close the door,
Said Baracle Bill, the sailor.
There were about a trillion (or more) verses to this. I remember my dad
telling me a few, but the only one other one that I remember is the one
were the Woman sings "Oh his hand is on my knee".
Terry
--
INTERNET: t...@unix.cis.pitt.edu BITNET: TJW@PITTVMS CC-NET: 33802::tjw
UUCP: {decwrl!decvax!idis, allegra, bellcore}!pitt!unix.cis.pitt.edu!tjw
And if dreams could come true, I'd still be there with you,
On the banks of cold waters at the close of the day. - Craig Johnson
Video Magician
> Does anyone remember a WWII song that goes something like this:
>
> Woman Sings:
> Who's that knocking on my door?
> Who's that knocking on my door?
> Who's that knocking on my door?
>
> Man Sings:
> It's only me from over the sea,
> Said Baracle Bill, the sailor.
> Said Baracle Bill, the sailor.
>
What will my poor old Mother say?
What will my poor old Mother say?
What will my poor old Mother say?
Cried the fair young maiden.
Man Sings:
It's alright with me, we'll make it three.
Said Barnacle Bill, the Sailor.
It's alright with me, we'll make it three.
Said Barnacle Bill, the Sailor.
Etc.....
Somewhere in my brother's old record collection is a disk
by a group called Doug Clark and the Hot Nuts with that song on it.
They are/were quite a bawdy group, but I've seen some cassettes
mentioned in some mail order catalogs.
---
Standard disclaimer and/or sig.nature isn't yet, but I'll think
of one pretty soon.
Gary Allen
>In article <24...@unix.cis.pitt.edu>, t...@unix.cis.pitt.edu (TJ Wood WA3VQJ) writes:
>> Does anyone remember a WWII song that goes something like this:
>>
>> Woman Sings:
>> Who's that knocking on my door?
>> Who's that knocking on my door?
>> Who's that knocking on my door?
>> Said the fair young maiden?
>>
>> Man Sings:
>> It's only me from over the sea,
>> Said Baracle Bill, the sailor.
>> So lie on the floor and close the dgor,
>> Said Baracle Bill, the sailor.
>>
> Woman Sings:
> What will my poor old Mother say?
> What will my poor old Mother say?
> What will my poor old Mother say?
> Cried the fair young maiden.
>
> Man Sings:
> It's alright with me, we'll make it three.
> Said Barnacle Bill, the Sailor.
> It's alright with me, we'll make it three.
> Said Barnacle Bill, the Sailor.
>
> Etc.....
Woman Sings:
What if we should have a baby?
What if we should have a baby?
what if we should have a baby,
Said the lovely young maiden.
Man Sings:
We'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
We'll dig a ditch and bury the bitch
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
.......
Woman Sings:
What's that running down my leg?
What's that running down my leg?
What's that running down my leg,
Said the lovely young maiden.
Man Sings:
It's only the cum that missed your cunt
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
It's only the cum that missed your cunt
Said Barnacle Bill the Sailor.
> Somewhere in my brother's old record collection is a disk
>by a group called Doug Clark and the Hot Nuts with that song on it.
>They are/were quite a bawdy group, but I've seen some cassettes
>mentioned in some mail order catalogs.
Yeah!
Nuts! Hot nuts! Get 'em from yer Peanut Man.
Nuts! Hot nuts! Gett 'em whenever you can.
Now see that man all dressed in green?
He cleans his nuts in a washing machine!
Nuts....
It's great to be back in junior high. Any Kinky Freidman fans?