This is a reel urband lejand
Ted Frank
Woulda been a nice B1FF!!!!111 imitation, but for the lowercase.
In article <329c7f3d....@news.interport.net>, <old...@clark.net> wrote:
>This is like the coolest thing 'cause it really happened to me!!!! No
>lie! Do you guyz paifor stuff like this!! If you do then you can paime
>too!!
>
>This is a true story told by a New York ambulance driver:
>[...]
>They locked themselves in a friend's room, threw the key out of the
>window,
Where on earth can one find a dormitory where one can be locked *in*?
--
m...@radix.net | "The layout folks now sit with glazed eyes in front of a
| monitor going <click> <click> on the mouse instead of being
never been to | kept alert by the possibility of slicing a finger off with
perth | an exacto knife." -- triangle.general poster
old...@clark.net
This is like the coolest thing 'cause it really happened to me!!!! No
lie! Do you guyz paifor stuff like this!! If you do then you can paime
too!!
This is a true story told by a New York ambulance driver:
A 17-year old girl just fell in love for the first time. Madly and
hopelessly.
Of course, he's a jerk, he dumps her for a cheerleader, and runs off
to
colege. Life is over. She stands on the roof of her five-story
brownstone,
clutches his picure to her chest, closes her eyes and jumps.
Meanwhile, an innocent old lady was just returning from a grocery, bag
of
veggies in hand. She never knew what hit her - because the girl landed
right
on her head... Physicists here can calculate the impact that a 60-kg
body
makes after falling five floors - but whatever it was, it was enough.
The old lady died instantly, and the girl came to senses with a broken
ankle and a few bruises...
Sad - the old lady didn't deserve it...
Another story that the same driver told went like this:
Two students were madly in love with each other. As a matter of fact,
secretly engaged. But both sets of parents totally disapproved of the
marriage, and threatened to make their lives hell if they ran off...
So, they decided to go into the otehr world - together. A friend of
the
girl worked at a pharmacy, and she asked her to get her some potent
sleep pills. Indeed she got them, in a little bottle plastered with
warnings ("Danger! Use strictly as direced!", etc).
They locked themselves in a friend's room, threw the key out of the
window,
shared a bottle of wine, made love, and then took the pills and
started to
wait. No sooner than half-an-hour later, they both started getting
strange
sensations in their stomachs - and then it dawned that the pills were
powerful laxatives, not sleeping aids!
Now, they realized that they are locked in the room, with key on the
ground
ten floors below, and no objects usable as shitcans... As you can
imagine,
the stench spread quickly though the building, alerting everyone in
the
dorm. Finally, someone found a security guard who picked the lock,
opened
the door, pocked his face in and closed the door back, unable to
breathe!
The poor couple had to be rescued by the swat team (they were the only
ones
with gas masks handy), and taken to the hospital to be treated for
severe
dehydration. Of course, the marriage was now off, both kids kicked out
of
college, and both sets of parents so happy that they gave the pharmacy
girl a new car and a diamond ring!
(the pharmacy girl was a BITCH! she could've given them Vitamin C!)
Barbara Mikkelson
old...@clark.net wrote:
> A 17-year old girl just fell in love for the first time. [...] She
> stands on the roof of her five-story brownstone, clutches his picure
> to her chest, closes her eyes and jumps. [snipped -- girl lands on
> old lady] The old lady died instantly, and the girl came to senses
> with a broken ankle and a few bruises...
I liked it better as the despondent wife and the philandering husband.
More of a "he got what was coming to him," if you know what I mean.
Barbara "air male" Mikkelson
--
Barbara Mikkelson | I was circumcised twice, once right after I
bha...@fas.harvard.edu | was born, and again six months later when I
| was adopted by a Jewish couple. - snopes
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
View a random urban legend --> http://www.best.com/~snopes/randomul.cgi
Thom Holbrook
> They locked themselves in a friend's room, threw the key out of the
> window,...
> Now, they realized that they are locked in the room, with key on the
> ground
> ten floors below ...
Sorry. I know its a legend and all but I just have to nit pick. What the
hell kind of dorm room were they in where you need a key on the INSIDE of
the door. Usually inside you have the manual locking button or the like.
But then again this couple didn't sound too bright to start with so it
probably wouldn't make a difference. "Betty! There's no keyhole on this
side!!! Only some strange doohickey!!! We're doomed!!!"
Rubén Ulises Aviña
class (we were suppose to use the news report as a strat of point for a
story) this really happened in PRAGUE, Czech Republic, to a man named
Walter Groesch who threw himself off a sixth-stroy window and landed on
his wife after she left him. he got a chin laceration, she died. this
was reported by UP. i've attached the story i wrote.
--
Rubén Ulises Aviña
av...@mail.sdsu.edu
Grinch
Rubén Ulises Aviña wrote:
>
> according to a news article that an english professor handed out in
> class (we were suppose to use the news report as a strat of point for a
> story) this really happened in PRAGUE, Czech Republic, to a man named
> Walter Groesch who threw himself off a sixth-stroy window and landed on
> his wife after she left him. he got a chin laceration, she died. this
> was reported by UP.
According to the NYC newspapers this happened in the Big Apple this past
week, almost like the ambulance driver said. Despondent teenage girl
jumped off an elevated railroad station. But instead of landing on an
old lady, she landed on a six-year old boy. The girl's OK while the boy
who broke her fall was critical as of the story's writing.
Alas, the papers went out with recycling last night or I could provide
better details.
Grinch
Nancy J. Gill
Grinch <Ol'Na...@Seus.com> wrote:
>Rubén Ulises Aviña wrote:
[snip]
>> Walter Groesch who threw himself off a sixth-stroy window and landed on
>> his wife after she left him. he got a chin laceration, she died. this
>> was reported by UP.
>According to the NYC newspapers this happened in the Big Apple this past
>week, almost like the ambulance driver said. Despondent teenage girl
>jumped off an elevated railroad station. But instead of landing on an
>old lady, she landed on a six-year old boy. The girl's OK while the boy
>who broke her fall was critical as of the story's writing.
She'd had her heart broken by a six-year old? Or by the old
lady she didn't land on?
Nancy J. Gill
njg...@ix.netcom.com
Hippo Pot de Mousse
Melt 16 poounds of bitter chocolate with 4 pounds of sugar until
sugar is dissolved (about 3 days). Pour 11 gallons of heavy cream into
a well-scrubbed kitchen sink; whip with a small Jacuzzi pump. Fold in
chocolate; shovel into serving bowls. Serves 3.
Jim Glass
Grinch <Ol'Na...@Seus.com> wrote:
>According to the NYC newspapers this happened in the Big Apple this past
>week ...
>Alas, the papers went out with recycling last night or I could provide
>better details.
>Grinch
I let my papers pile up. NY Post, 12/4/96, p. 4:
--
Kid Hit By Teen Suicide Jumper
A teenager plunged 36 feet from an elevated Bronx subway platform in
an apparent suicide attempt yesterday --- and slammed into a
5-year-old boy, critically injuring him, police say.
Erdania Gonzalez, 16,. was in stable condition in Lincoln Hospital
last night. But little Anthony Pantoja, whose body cushioned her fall
when she landed on him, wasn't so lucky. "The doctors don't know if
Anthony's going to make it", a relative said.
The little boy was taken to Columbia-Presbyterian Hospital for
neurosurgery. ... The youngster suffered massive head injuries.
etc.
--
etc.
TJ
Jim Glass wrote:
>
> Grinch <Ol'Na...@Seus.com> wrote:
>
> >According to the NYC newspapers this happened in the Big Apple this past
> >week ...
> >Alas, the papers went out with recycling last night or I could provide
> >better details.
>
> >Grinch
>
> I let my papers pile up. NY Post, 12/4/96, p. 4:
> --
> Kid Hit By Teen Suicide Jumper
>
> A teenager plunged 36 feet from an elevated Bronx subway platform in
> an apparent suicide attempt yesterday -
This is so low I would call it a 'suicidal gesture'