Urethra fish
John Lundberg
Amazon basin, wear a swimsuit. There's a chilling description in
David Quammen's book _Natural Acts_ of a nasty little critter called
the candiru, aka the urethra fish:
"...The candiru is needle-thin...no more than two inches in length
with sharp teeth and an appetite for blood. It is also equipped
with small spines angled rearward from the sides of its jaw, which
serve like the barbs on an arrowhead or a fishhook: Once lodged in
position within a host, the candiru has a very mean grip. Mainly it
victimizes larger fish, whose gill openings the candiru enters,
following scents of life upcurrent along the flow of expelled water
as the victim fish breathes. But occasionally, in confusion, a
stray candiru follows the life scents along a different flow: into
some human so foolhardy as to urinate while bathing naked in candiru
waters. For this delicate reason its English name, at least one of
them, is the urethra fish...Once a candiru has made its painful
entry, the problem is quite serious. [!] An authority on the subject
says `Since the [candiru] have gill cover spines pointed to the rear,
it is always too late once their presence is noticed since they cannot
simply be pulled out. This has repeatedly caused death. If the
afflicted individual does not want to have blood poisoning he must
undergo an amputation.'"
Lots of other good stuff in _Natural Acts_, particularly in the
chapter entitled "All God's Vermin."
Pleasant dreams.
--
John Lundberg / j...@unix.cis.pitt.edu / University of Pittsburgh CIS
F. Jacot Guillarmod
>If you ever find yourself with an opportunity to go swimming in the
>Amazon basin, wear a swimsuit. There's a chilling description in
>David Quammen's book _Natural Acts_ of a nasty little critter called
>the candiru, aka the urethra fish:
Coincidence strikes. A few hours before reading this posting, I had
just started reading the book "In Trouble Again" by Redmond O'Hanlon
(subtitled "A journey between the Orinoco and the Amazon"), published by
Penguin Books, 1989, ISBN 0-14-011900-0. O'Hanlon has this to say on
the same subject (taken from page 3):
"But it was the candiru, the toothpick-fish, a tiny catfish adapted for
a parasitic life in the gills or cloaca of bigger fish, which swam most
persistently into my dreams on troubled nights.
In Borneo, when staying in the longhouses, I learned that going down to
the river in the early morning is the polite thing to do - you know you
are swimming in the socially correct patch of muddy river when fish
nuzzle your pants, wanting you to take them down and produce their
breakfast. In the Amazons, on the other hand, should you have too much
to drink, say, and inadvertently urinate as you swim, any homeless
candiru, attracted by the smell, will take you for a big fish and swim
excitedly up your stream of uric acid, enter your urethra like a worm
into its burrow and, raising its gill-covers, stick out a set of
retrorse spines. Nothing can be done. The pain, apparently, is
spectacular. You must get to a hospital before your bladder bursts; you
must ask a surgeon to cut off your penis.
In consultation with my friend at the Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford,
Donald Hopkins, the inventor of the haemorrhoid gun, I designed an
anti-candiru device: we took a cricket-box, cut out the front panel, and
replaced it with a tea-strainer.
Released so brilliantly from this particular fear, I began, in earnest,
to panic. ........".
--
F.F. Jacot Guillarmod PO Box 94 \ | cc...@hippo.ru.ac.za
Computing Centre Grahamstown 6140 \ / +27 461 22023 xt 284
Rhodes University South Africa ;___*/ 33 18 30 S | 26 31 45 E
Al Wesolowsky
+In <143...@unix.cis.pitt.edu> j...@unix.cis.pitt.edu (John Lundberg) writes:
+
+>If you ever find yourself with an opportunity to go swimming in the
+>Amazon basin, wear a swimsuit.
+
+Coincidence strikes. A few hours before reading this posting, I had
+just started reading the book "In Trouble Again" by Redmond O'Hanlon
+(subtitled "A journey between the Orinoco and the Amazon"), published by
+Penguin Books, 1989, ISBN 0-14-011900-0.
+
[scarifying details about the toothpick-fich deleted]
+In consultation with my friend at the Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford,
+Donald Hopkins, the inventor of the haemorrhoid gun [more deleted]
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
So *that's* how the British treat this pesky ailment..I always *thought*
that Monty Python was a series of documentaries.
.
--
| Al B. Wesolowsky a...@bucrsb.bu.edu or arc...@buacca.bitnet |
| Managing Editor, Journal of Field Archaeology, Boston University |
| 675 Commonwealth Avenue, Boston MA 02215 (617) 353-2357 |
victoria crawford
a naturalist's visit to the Amazon Basin. Before he left on the trip he
fretted about it:
".. it was the candira, the toothpick fish, a tiny catfish adapted for
a parasitic life in the gills and cloaca of bigger fish, which swam most
persistently into my dreams on troubled nights.
"...in the Amazons... should you have too much to drink, say, and
inadvertently urinate as you swim, any homeless candiru, attracted by the
smell, will take you for a big fish and swim excitedly up your stream of uric
acid, enter your urethra like a worm into its burrow and, raising its gill-
covers, stick out a set of retrorse spines. Nothing can be done. The pain,
apparently, is spectacular. You must get to a hospital before your bladder
bursts; you must ask for a surgeon to cut off your penis.
"In consultation with my friend at the Radcliffe Hospital in Oxford, Donald
Hopkins, the inventor of the haemorroid gun, I designed an anti-candiru device:
we took a cricket-box, cut out the front panel, and replaced it with a
tea-strainer."
Of course, when he asks his native guides about the candiru peril some 70
pages later, they just about laugh themselves sick because they've never heard
of such a thing. Of course they're careful to relieve themselves on *land.*
But their main surprise is at the question. After they recover from laughing
so hard, one asks "At home, do you shit in the river? Do the English shit in
the river?"
Murray Chapman
>I read about this in Redmond O'Hanlon's "In Trouble Again," an account of
>a naturalist's visit to the Amazon Basin. Before he left on the trip he
>fretted about it:
>"...in the Amazons... should you have too much to drink, say, and
>inadvertently urinate as you swim, any homeless candiru, attracted by the
>smell, will take you for a big fish and swim excitedly up your stream of uric
>acid, enter your urethra like a worm into its burrow and, raising its gill-
>covers, stick out a set of retrorse spines. Nothing can be done. The pain,
>apparently, is spectacular. You must get to a hospital before your bladder
>bursts; you must ask for a surgeon to cut off your penis.
True. I was in the jungles of Peru last year, and we were given two warnings
before being invited to swim:
1) Don't piss while you swim (read above)
2) If you do swim in the river, stay away from the
shore, where the crocodiles and piranhas dwell.
While we were swimming, one of the guides had her foot bitten by SOMETHING...
The truth, I assure you.
+^o^+^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-+-o-+
| | Murray Chapman muz...@cs.uq.oz.au | |
| o | | o |
| | University of Queensland "I'd rather have a bottle in front | |
| o | St Lucia, Queenland of me than a frontal lobotomy" | o |
| | AUSTRALIA - W. C. Fields | |
| o | | o |
+^-^+^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-^-------------+---+
\__ | o |
Hate that! -----> +^-^-^-^-^-^-^-
Harry Bloomberg
>Donald Hopkins, the inventor of the haemorrhoid gun, I designed an
>anti-candiru device: we took a cricket-box, cut out the front panel, and
>replaced it with a tea-strainer.
>
State of a Million Deer Hunters, lots of folks own deer rifles, but I
don't know anyone who hunts "haemorrhoids".
Harry Bloomberg
h...@vms.cis.pitt.edu
Jack Campin
> j...@unix.cis.pitt.edu (John Lundberg) writes:
>> If you ever find yourself with an opportunity to go swimming in the
>> Amazon basin, wear a swimsuit. There's a chilling description in
>> David Quammen's book _Natural Acts_ of a nasty little critter called
>> the candiru, aka the urethra fish:
> Coincidence strikes. A few hours before reading this posting, I had
> just started reading the book "In Trouble Again" by Redmond O'Hanlon
> (subtitled "A journey between the Orinoco and the Amazon"), published by
This little beastie is also mentioned in one of William Burroughs' novels
from the Sixties; maybe "The Soft Machine"? So it was probably written up
in English somewhere well before the above two books came out.
--
-- Jack Campin Computing Science Department, Glasgow University, 17 Lilybank
Gardens, Glasgow G12 8QQ, Scotland 041 339 8855 x6854 work 041 556 1878 home
JANET: ja...@dcs.glasgow.ac.uk BANG!net: via mcsun and ukc FAX: 041 330 4913
INTERNET: via nsfnet-relay.ac.uk BITNET: via UKACRL UUCP: ja...@glasgow.uucp
Malcolm L. Carlock
>
>the candiru, aka the urethra fish:
>
> encounters with this horrible little creature]
Levi-Strauss writes briefly of this fish in "Tristes Tropiques", where if
I recall correctly he claims that you're not safe even pissing off the
side of a boat -- the nasty little creature will zoom right up the stream
of urine. Is this hydrodynamically likely?
Pardon me now while I run down the hall screaming and tearing at my hair.
"All things dull and dangerous
All ??? great and small
All things cruel and 'orrible
The Good Lord made them all.
Each slimy little viper
Each tiny little squid
Who made the spiny urchin?
Who made the sharks? He did!
All things dull and ug-ul-ly
All creatures short and squat
All things mean and nasty
The Lord God made the lot.
A-men." -- M. Python, somewhat inaccurately, from memory.
I'll probably regret not having crossposted this to soc.religion.christian.
--
Malcolm L. Carlock Internet: ma...@unr.edu
UUCP: unr!malc
BITNET: malc@equinox
Michael S. Pereckas
>breakfast. In the Amazons, on the other hand, should you have too much
>to drink, say, and inadvertently urinate as you swim, any homeless
>candiru, attracted by the smell, will take you for a big fish and swim
>excitedly up your stream of uric acid, enter your urethra like a worm
>into its burrow and, raising its gill-covers, stick out a set of
>retrorse spines. Nothing can be done. The pain, apparently, is
>spectacular. You must get to a hospital before your bladder bursts; you
>must ask a surgeon to cut off your penis.
So what do women have amputated? Or are women smart enough not to
--
< Michael Pereckas <> m-per...@uiuc.edu <> Just another student... >
"This desoldering braid doesn't work. What's this cheap stuff made
of, anyway?" "I don't know, looks like solder to me."
Malcolm L. Carlock
In article <1991Jun25.1...@ux1.cso.uiuc.edu> msp3...@uxa.cso.uiuc.edu (Michael S. Pereckas) writes:
>In <ccfj.677622091@hippo> cc...@hippo.ru.ac.za (F. Jacot Guillarmod) writes:
>
>>[the candiru, a tiny phosphorus-loving Amazon fish with backward-pointing
>> spines that swims up one's urethra if given the chance and lodges there]
>
>>You must get to a hospital before your bladder bursts; you
>>must ask a surgeon to cut off your penis.
>
>So what do women have amputated?
I'd imagine that if this happened to a woman, the doctor would have to
open up her lower abdomen to get at the urethra. Pretty horrible.
This is just speculation, but IF there were a hospital nearby with a
fluoroscope or the capability to quickly develop X-ray pictures (in the
Amazon jungle? Well, like I said, this is just speculation), couldn't
the doctor locate the fish in the urethra, cut open the penis lengthwise
above that point, and try pulling the fish out headfirst? This would
still be pretty traumatic, but it would be better, IMO, than losing willy
altogether, and the repairs don't seem much worse than that required for
those fellows who caught their members in various types of vacuum cleaners.
Can anyone in sci.med with a strong stomach comment on this?
Jeff Sicherman
Yeah, sounds like Douglas Adams on one of his sicker days.
Rick Kelly
They're a real conversation starter when they are stuffed-and-mounted and
hanging on the wall.
Rick Kelly r...@rmkhome.UUCP frog!rmkhome!rmk r...@frog.UUCP