M&M UL? Have already checked FAQ
Metheglen
Hiya,
Well, I have lurked here long enough - checked out the FAQ, and done
all the Newbie stuff. What I am looking for is a debunk, or confirmation of
the following story told to me by my Fiancee, who read it in a magazine (but
of course - can't remember which one or date. Seems a pretty cool story but
of the UL type.
"There is a girl/woman who is a huge M&M fan. She buys mountains of the candy
and engages in her own 'genetic' tests. She pulls out 2 M&Ms and crushes them
between her fingers, eating the one that cracks. She then tests the next M&M
against the one that didn't crack, and so on until she has a 'Super M&M'.
Then [and this is the bit that is UL-ish] she sends back the Super M&M to
M&M/Mars and asks that they breed from this M&M."
I am looking to hear of any other Uls like this, or a debunking or
otherwise of this one. Thangst,
Meth
Janet Solursh (jbray@uga.cc.uga.edu)
In article <5e9fjh$p...@lana.zippo.com>
Metheglen writes:
>"There is a girl/woman who is a huge M&M fan. She buys mountains of the candy
>and engages in her own 'genetic' tests. She pulls out 2 M&Ms and crushes them
>between her fingers, eating the one that cracks. She then tests the next M&M
>against the one that didn't crack, and so on until she has a 'Super M&M'.
>Then [and this is the bit that is UL-ish] she sends back the Super M&M to
>M&M/Mars and asks that they breed from this M&M."
>
>I am looking to hear of any other Uls like this, or a debunking or
>otherwise of this one. Thangst,
>
it's a UL. Or maybe a joke disguised as a UL.
janet bray solursh
jb...@uga.cc.uga.edu
Jon Witt
: In article <5e9fjh$p...@lana.zippo.com>
: Metheglen writes:
:
: >"There is a girl/woman who is a huge M&M fan. She buys mountains of the candy
: >and engages in her own 'genetic' tests. She pulls out 2 M&Ms and crushes them
: >between her fingers, eating the one that cracks. She then tests the next M&M
: >against the one that didn't crack, and so on until she has a 'Super M&M'.
: >Then [and this is the bit that is UL-ish] she sends back the Super M&M to
: >M&M/Mars and asks that they breed from this M&M."
This doesn't answer the UL question, but here's the story as I got it
in email one day:
M&M Survival of the Fittest
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the
strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold
M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure,
squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is
"loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to
go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the
newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the
blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of
competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or
pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be
a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength.
In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest
of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I
pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of
Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card
reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free
1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have
set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds,
we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
Wendy Mueller
Metheglen wrote:
>"There is a girl/woman who is a huge M&M fan. She buys mountains of the candy
>and engages in her own 'genetic' tests. She pulls out 2 M&Ms and crushes them
>between her fingers, eating the one that cracks. She then tests the next M&M
>against the one that didn't crack, and so on until she has a 'Super M&M'.
>Then [and this is the bit that is UL-ish] she sends back the Super M&M to
>M&M/Mars and asks that they breed from this M&M."
A woman who is on one of the alumni lists (Simon's Rock of Bard
College) that I suscribe to claims to have done this herself. I'll
see if I can get some help remembering her name from others on the
list and then go about debunking/verifying this tale. According to
her 'research' the new blue M&Ms are genetically inferior, and after
she sent several 'Super M&Ms' to the company, they sent her a couple
certificates good for one pound bags of M&Ms.
Rodney
In article <5e9fjh$p...@lana.zippo.com>, <Metheglen> wrote:
>"There is a girl/woman who is a huge M&M fan. She buys mountains of the candy
>and engages in her own 'genetic' tests. She pulls out 2 M&Ms and crushes them
>between her fingers, eating the one that cracks. She then tests the next M&M
>against the one that didn't crack, and so on until she has a 'Super M&M'.
>Then [and this is the bit that is UL-ish] she sends back the Super M&M to
>M&M/Mars and asks that they breed from this M&M."
Wow. I used to do this. Okay, not exactly as told, but similar.
This was approximately 18 years ago. I wasn't a huge M&M fan, but for
every pack that I bought, I would set up a large single-elimination
tournament. All colors would be grouped together in the early rounds.
For each pair, I would press them until one squished. The survivor
moved to the next round. (If both cracked, I would have to decide which
cracked first or which cracked worst.) (Note that the above tale has
the winner of each bout going against the next challenger, whereas I
moved on to the next two M&M's in the bracket.) When I got to the
champion M&M, I would put it in the freezer to preserve it for the next
pack that I bought. It would only have to go against the champion of
the next pack (after, of course, a suitable thaw period).
I sincerely believe that I made up M&M squishing myself. I have no
recollection of hearing it from somewhere else. I am amazed to find
out that either (1) somebody else did it too, (2) somebody else thought
of it and made a UL out of it, or (3) I started this whole thing myself.
I need a cigarette.
rodney
Lon Stowell
In article <5e9fjh$p...@lana.zippo.com>, <Metheglen> wrote:
>"There is a girl/woman who is a huge M&M fan. She buys mountains of the candy
>and engages in her own 'genetic' tests. She pulls out 2 M&Ms and crushes them
>between her fingers, eating the one that cracks. She then tests the next M&M
>against the one that didn't crack, and so on until she has a 'Super M&M'.
>Then [and this is the bit that is UL-ish] she sends back the Super M&M to
>M&M/Mars and asks that they breed from this M&M."
No, no, no. That girl/woman was just selecting the strongest
M&M to use for birth control. You just place the crack-proof
M&M on the inside of your left thigh and hold it firmly in
place with your right thigh.
Metheglen
In article <AF2E6B479...@l3.bandon.coos.or.us>, sch...@mail.coos.or.us says...
>
>This is not an Urban Legend. It is what some people refer to as "Humor." In
>fact, it was posted in rec.humor.funny within the last few weeks.
>
Hmmmm. I wonder if it was posted as a "funny story" after being read - as in
"I read this and it seems funny to me"...
At the moment I think that we have an UL, but there seems to be some traceable
origins, so I hope that we get to the bottom of it. Certainly it seems to be
vectored to Microsoft employees - but that may just be a joke. Hmmmm. Perhaps
the only way to really sort this out is to go out and buy several packs of
M&Ms and then do the genetic thing, and disprove the blue inferiority /
superiority thing. Certainly I have now heard that bllue are stronger and
weaker...
Maggie Newman
>
Many have seen this as a joke and posted it to a joke list. I have
received it on a list myself. But this thing mystifies and disturbs me.
People, why are you breeding for strength? Are you all in league with
the American Dental Association? Do you want to crack my crowns?
Surely the M&M people have sufficient experience in this business to
know how to breed their candies for the qualities people prize most:
that perfect combination of hardness *and* softness. Down with genetic
engineering!
Maggie "my boss just told me he used to do this as a kid, thought he
invented it, and always ate the winner" Newman
Stunt Pope
In article <5eaf65$a...@camel0.mindspring.com>, dag...@pipeline.com.remove.this
blithers about...
>
>Metheglen wrote:
>
>>"There is a girl/woman who is a huge M&M fan. She buys mountains of the
candy
>>and engages in her own 'genetic' tests. She pulls out 2 M&Ms and crushes
them
>>between her fingers, eating the one that cracks. She then tests the next M&M
>>against the one that didn't crack, and so on until she has a 'Super M&M'.
>>Then [and this is the bit that is UL-ish] she sends back the Super M&M to
>>M&M/Mars and asks that they breed from this M&M."
My only exposure to this was via the fringeware mailing list, and at the
time i was under the impression that it was intended as a joke, 100%, which
is how I took it, and thought it was hilarious.
(One of the guys here tells me he has it on his `puter at home, so I can
post that one if anyone's interested...)
--
Mark Jeftovic (aka: Mark Jeff or Vic, Stunt Pope)
SysAdmin, Private World Communications
mar...@shmOOze.net - http://www.shmOOze.net/~markjr
irc: L-bOMb motto: Pigritia, Impatientia et Adrogantia
Chris Hayes
As Smiler Sheridan accelrated out of the corner, and passed Frank
Raymond Michaels <fra...@i-2000.com> on the long straight, he switched
on the inter-cockpit mike and heard...
> M&M's are not "bred" but rather
>propogate through asexual division, like amoebae. Proof of this: on
>rare occasions you will see two M&M's "stuck together" in a bag; these
>are actually M&M's that were killed and bagged at the point of
>fission.
This is not fission, it's fusion. This is how the bloody things become
super-M&Ms.
>The concept that Mars/M&M would attempt to develop an
>"Uber-M&M" by breeding for shell strength is unconscionable, such
>experiments could only lead to chocolate-filled jawbreakers.
>
Ah, well, you see, Mars didn't know at the time. The M&Ms do it
themselves... when nobody is watching.
Spa...@larrrrrd.demon.co.uk <*> http://www.larrrrrd.demon.co.uk
--
Chris' sig is presented this week by Biggus Dickus...
Fwiendth! Womanth! Internetterth! Cwithith thig ith an oppowtunity to thay
thomething inthpiwing and wevealing! Unfowtunately, there ith nothing wowth
menthioning that cannot be thaid in two wowds... UN OWIGINAL!
Frank Raymond Michaels
In article <5e9fjh$p...@lana.zippo.com>, <Metheglen> wrote:
>"There is a girl/woman who is a huge M&M fan. She buys mountains of the candy
>and engages in her own 'genetic' tests. She pulls out 2 M&Ms and crushes them
>between her fingers, eating the one that cracks. She then tests the next M&M
>against the one that didn't crack, and so on until she has a 'Super M&M'.
>Then [and this is the bit that is UL-ish] she sends back the Super M&M to
>M&M/Mars and asks that they breed from this M&M."
Cute idea, but it wouldn't work. M&M's are not "bred" but rather
propogate through asexual division, like amoebae. Proof of this: on
rare occasions you will see two M&M's "stuck together" in a bag; these
are actually M&M's that were killed and bagged at the point of
fission. The concept that Mars/M&M would attempt to develop an
"Uber-M&M" by breeding for shell strength is unconscionable, such
experiments could only lead to chocolate-filled jawbreakers.
ObM&MUL - Heard this one from a cow orker about 7 yrs ago: M&M's were
originally developed for the military as a candy snack for soldiers
that wouldn't get their hands dirty. I didn't/don't buy it 'cuz M&Ms
are *noisy* -- they rattle in their bags and crunch when you eat them,
not the sort of thing you want to draw attention to yourself in
hostile territory.
--------------------------------------------------
Frank Raymond Michaels ("The candy shell outside *does* melt in your
hand, if your palms are sweaty....")
Ralph Jones
Metheglen wrote:
>
[snip]
>
> "There is a girl/woman who is a huge M&M fan. She buys mountains of the candy
> and engages in her own 'genetic' tests. She pulls out 2 M&Ms and crushes them
> between her fingers, eating the one that cracks. She then tests the next M&M
> against the one that didn't crack, and so on until she has a 'Super M&M'.
> Then [and this is the bit that is UL-ish] she sends back the Super M&M to
> M&M/Mars and asks that they breed from this M&M."
That's a new one on me, but there is an extended family in Garden Grove
CA, longtime friends of mine, who used to compete enthusiastically to
see who could dissolve a Gummi Bear the fastest without chewing. They
invited me to try out, not knowing that I'm one of those people dentists
refer to as "Mr. Jones -- you know, the juicy one?". I once shot a
hygienist right in the eye with a single squirt from a salivary
gland...anyway, I came in at just over half the family record time on
the first try, and I don't think they've had the heart to compete since.
rj
Elisabeth Orr
> >and engages in her own 'genetic' tests. She pulls out 2 M&Ms and crushes them
> >between her fingers, eating the one that cracks. She then tests the next M&M
> >against the one that didn't crack, and so on until she has a 'Super M&M'.
> >Then [and this is the bit that is UL-ish] she sends back the Super M&M to
> >M&M/Mars and asks that they breed from this M&M."
Aaaarrrgggh, this is one of those annoying things that I KNOW I read
told 1st-person in the net, but can't remember the URL or anything about
how I got there. I do seem to recall it was a man, tho...
Peace,
E
--
"Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t
help them, at least don’t hurt them." - Dalai Lama
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Elisabeth Orr - moving in at http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/lofts/1388
Tim Cooper
Elisabeth Orr (ej...@wam.umd.edu) wrote:
: Rodney wrote:
: >
: > In article <5e9fjh$p...@lana.zippo.com>, <Metheglen> wrote:
: > >"There is a girl/woman who is a huge M&M fan. She buys mountains of the candy
: Aaaarrrgggh, this is one of those annoying things that I KNOW I read
: told 1st-person in the net, but can't remember the URL or anything about
: how I got there. I do seem to recall it was a man, tho...
I suspect this is the article you're referring to...
From - Fri Jan 24 12:00:37 1997
Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: co...@maine.maine.edu
Subject: M&Ms and Genetics
Keywords: smirk
Message-ID: <Sa9d...@clarinet.com>
Date: Thu, 23 Jan 97 19:30:03 EST
Lines: 34
This was fowarded to me by a friend...
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the
strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold
M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure,
squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is
the "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go
another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the
newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the
blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of
competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier,
or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness,
but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way,
the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of
the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it
neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc.,
Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card reading, "Please
use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2
pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have set aside
the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will
discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
--
Selected by Jim Griffith. MAIL your joke to fu...@clari.net.
Fight the communications decency act. We've filed suit to stop it. See
http://www.clari.net/suitpage.html
Guy Daugherty
>
> M&M Survival of the Fittest
>
> strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold
> M&M duels.
>
> Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure,
> squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is
> go another round.
>
a measure of dexterity tested by going edge-to-edge?
You must check their website- it's a beauty.
Guy "You gonna finish that pie?" Daugherty.
Alyssa Mondelli
Guy Daugherty wrote:
> > M&M Survival of the Fittest
> >
> > Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the
> > strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold
> > M&M duels.
> >
> > Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure,
> > squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is
> > "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to
> > go another round.
This was in the St. Paul Pioneer Press Bulletin Board (half a page set
aside for random things called in by readers) in these exact words, plus
the bit about sending the surviving M&M's back to the company for use in
breeding new M&M's. I don't remember the exact date, but it was within
the past two weeks. If anyone has a membership to their online site
(http://www.pioneerplanet.com), you could search the archive for it.
Of course, it's one of those 'chicken or egg' things - there's no way to
tell if the anecdote was picked up from Bulletin Board and spread via
the web or vice versa...
==Alyssa in St. Paul== (agmon...@stthomas.edu)
http://www.geocities.com/CollegePark/1409/fortress.htm
At your command, before you here I stand,
My heart is in my hand --
Eeyuch! (Tom Lehrer, "The Masochism Tango")
Metheglen
Please can we submit the genetic tests of M&M's to the netlore faq?
We have several "friend of a friend" and "read on the net/email/bulletin
boards" posts - one 1st person (submitted below). At the moment it seems
unverifiable, but I am contacting MARS UK to find out their perspective. I
think that this qualifies.
Typical legend:
M&M Survival of the Fittest
Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the
strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold
M&M duels.
Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure,
squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is
"loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to
go another round.
I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the
newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the
blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theatre of
competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world.
Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or
pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be
a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength.
In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment.
When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest
of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I
pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of
Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3x5 card
reading, "Please use this M&M for breeding purposes."
This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free
1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this "grant money." I have
set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds,
we will discover the True Champion.
There can be only one.
**** This seems to have been posted to rec.humor as a "I saw this funny
story - lets put it here" thread ****
1st person:
Wow. I used to do this. Okay, not exactly as told, but similar.
This was approximately 18 years ago. I wasn't a huge M&M fan, but for
every pack that I bought, I would set up a large single-elimination
tournament. All colors would be grouped together in the early rounds.
For each pair, I would press them until one squished. The survivor
moved to the next round. (If both cracked, I would have to decide which
cracked first or which cracked worst.) (Note that the above tale has
the winner of each bout going against the next challenger, whereas I
moved on to the next two M&M's in the bracket.) When I got to the
champion M&M, I would put it in the freezer to preserve it for the next
pack that I bought. It would only have to go against the champion of
the next pack (after, of course, a suitable thaw period).
I sincerely believe that I made up M&M squishing myself. I have no
recollection of hearing it from somewhere else. I am amazed to find
out that either (1) somebody else did it too, (2) somebody else thought
of it and made a UL out of it, or (3) I started this whole thing myself.
**** Hmmmm. I think that the actual sending the M&M back to Mars is an
embellishment on a childhood thing. There are lots of childhood sweet
games - hold a POLO Mint (Lifesaver) in your mouth until it dissolves (my
parents used to get me to do this to keep me quiet on car journeys!), how
far can you roll a Polo/lifesaver........ the list potentially is endless.
please submit and email any replies to the address below:
thanks.
JoAnne Schmitz
Alyssa Mondelli <agmon...@stthomas.edu> wrote:
>Guy Daugherty wrote:
>> > M&M Survival of the Fittest
>> >
>> > Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the
>> > strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold
>> > M&M duels.
>> >
>> > Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure,
>> > squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is
>> > "loser," and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to
>> > go another round.
>This was in the St. Paul Pioneer Press Bulletin Board (half a page set
>aside for random things called in by readers) in these exact words, plus
>the bit about sending the surviving M&M's back to the company for use in
>breeding new M&M's.
It was in the February 23 Oracle Humor Mailing List as submitted
by a "St. John" in Philadelphia, PA.
JoAnne "the blue ones will catch up" Schmitz
"JoAnne Schmitz, on the other hand, has on occasion struck me as
shrill, opinionated, boorish and dogmatic beyond reason. This
seems to be another episode."
--Tony Sweeney, on alt.folklore.urban
Jeffrey Nelson / STILL AGIN'
On Wed, 19 Feb 1997, Frank Raymond Michaels wrote:
*ObM&MUL - Heard this one from a cow orker about 7 yrs ago: M&M's were
*originally developed for the military as a candy snack for soldiers
*that wouldn't get their hands dirty. I didn't/don't buy it 'cuz M&Ms
*are *noisy* -- they rattle in their bags and crunch when you eat them,
*not the sort of thing you want to draw attention to yourself in
*hostile territory.
Hello? Am I the only person who notices this is blatantly false
advertising because *they do* melt in your hands. I mean, c'mon, who've
they got for an ad exec, Chris Farley in there, "They've got a protective
candy shell. I'm surprised you didn't know that, Richard!"?
This is an even bigger perpetration of that other advertising rumor
"Nothing beats a great pair of legs" when the contradictory answers could
be
a) Singaporean disciplinarians
2) a great pair of t***
3) two great pairs of legs
Jeffrey "you can get a good look at a.f.u by sticking your head up
Usenet's ass, but I'd rather take Barbara's word for it" Nelson
============================================================================
Jeffrey L. Nelson http://mole.uvm.edu/~jlnelson
I live in fear of not being misunderstood.-- Oscar Wilde
I hate spam - to reply to me personally clean up the domain name
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