Message from discussion Crashing the Party (Long)

From: Pete C. <s3NOs3S...@myremarq.com.invalid>
Subject: Crashing the Party (Long)
Date: 2000/05/26
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I was just reading a post in UMA about units refusing to go to
war, and it reminded me of something pretty humorous

Guess it was in late 95, maybe early 96 (I'd have to drag out
some old 1610s to doublecheck).  My platoon was deployed to
Kaposvar to act as the QRF, which is amusing in and of itself,
seeing as the only real danger in the area was getting your ass
mowed over by one of those damn 18 wheelers that the trans folks
tear around in.

Anyway, they had set up a Mayor's Cell, which I also found kind
of amusing.  The mayor's cell served kind of as "camp counselor,"
handing out keys to rooms and making sure chow was served on
time.  My BC turned out to be the mayor, explaining how my ass
got dragged down there.

Well, the Mayor's cell had to deal pretty closely with the units
coming in and out of theater, so that they could be sure they
would have enough rooms and such.  A lot of units were showing up
without any prior coordination with the cell, which is
understandable because the only units that were ever really told
that such coordination was necessary were the ones that were
already there.

Units would come in, and the mayor's cell would bounce it off
their schedule of arrivals.  The unit wouldn't be on it and the
mayor's cell folks would get all huffy.  They would get a Captain
or a Major to call somebody from the units higher HQ to give them
a hard time about the failure to coordinate(the tone of the
arguement governed by the rank of the person on the other end),
and everyone would agree that "Next time, call first."  I would
just sit in the corner sipping coffee amused by the whole mess,
trying to figure out what kind of training I could come up with
for the platoon so that they wouldn't get too bored and start
getting into trouble (which I did, and they did anyway, but that
is another story)

Well, one day a really cocky looking CPT comes strolling in
looking for some billets and chow for "me and my boys" he said as
he pointed toward the busses parked outside.  I watched the usual
exchange, "What unit are you with, sir"  He told the guy at the
desk, but I can't remember the unit (REALLY wish I could).  "You
aren't on our roster, did you guys coordinate with somebody down
here?" (Of course he didn't, nobody does, haven't you guys
figured that out yet?)

Well, he was told where the chow hall was so at least his troops
could get something to eat while the whole mess was sorted out.
The usual long string of phone calls ensued, but this one was a
little different.  This time the people on the other end were
doing most of the screaming (I could hear them from where I was
sitting), and the guy at the desk (an SFC, I believe) was
starting to get a real shit-eating grin on his face.  He went and
got a Major, who got a LTC, who started to get really pissed off
looking, meanwhile, a few other O4's, O5's, and even a nasty old
O6 showed up.  I was thinking "Geez, these guys are getting
really serious about units calling up first, this poor CPT is in
for it.  But this was not merely a matter of him not telling us
he was coming down.

He didn't tell his Commander!

This crazy SOB (a West Pointer, I'm sure), not only did he deploy
his entire company without orders from his BC, he did it without
even telling him!  I have no idea how it all took place, but the
wacko just loaded his troops up onto a bus (didn't the S3/S4 get
a bit suspicious at the bus request?  didn't the wives ever talk
to each other?  wasn't anybody suspicious that was once a company
was now just a rear-d?) and drove them all night until he hit
Kaposvar.  I just sat in amazement staring at this guy, wondering
exactly how he could fit into the BDUs with the pair o' balls he
must've had swinging between his legs!  I was given a "get the
hell out" look from an O5, and I took the hint and made for the
door just as they started to light into him "Captain, what in the
fu ..."

His troops all had chow, I saw them there watching the Wide
Screen as I refilled my coffee.  They all loaded back up on their
busses, and headed back toward Germany.  I don't know if they
ever even knew what the hell just took place, and that their CO
had completely lost his mind (and his job).


Not sure what became of the Captain.  I think the word on the
street was that he said he "didn't want to miss out on the
action."  I think he must've watched too many movies.  He
provided the only "action" I ever saw around that damn place.



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